Im a 57yr old in midlife crisis: Crying in My Car: The Hidden Struggles of a Dad Facing Family Chaos

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  • Опубликовано: 29 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 93

  • @gerofiore9695
    @gerofiore9695  Месяц назад +1

    Im a 57yr old in midlife crisis: Crying in My Car: The Hidden Struggles of a Dad Facing Family Chaos
    Buy me a Coffee www.buymeacoffee.com/GeraldFiore
    My Amazon Wishlist www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/3MB72FR08A7I7?ref_=wl_share

    • @SpenceCurry
      @SpenceCurry 26 дней назад

      At leAst you are not living in your car

  • @hectorlamar806
    @hectorlamar806 Месяц назад +27

    It really is Russian Roulette when one gets married and has kids.

    • @GeorgesDupont-do8pe
      @GeorgesDupont-do8pe Месяц назад +4

      Ain't that the truth.. that's why I got a vasectomy at 35, never regretted. Goes with never apologise, never explain, never regret. Think of la Petite Piaf, she had the right idea.

    • @emailsar3282
      @emailsar3282 Месяц назад

      It's brutal and more than likely to destroy the man.

    • @cheesegraham2387
      @cheesegraham2387 Месяц назад +2

      It's a prison sentence

    • @jonnydoeson5562
      @jonnydoeson5562 Месяц назад

      Exactly why I’m not doing it. 35 here and loving life. Loads of money and healthy. Not sure what that says about where society is headed though if people like me aren’t having kids…

    • @GeorgesDupont-do8pe
      @GeorgesDupont-do8pe Месяц назад

      @@jonnydoeson5562 No kids, no worries.

  • @alisongoss6443
    @alisongoss6443 Месяц назад +11

    Sending you a hug, you will come out the otherside stronger xxx

  • @VickiHughes-f5l
    @VickiHughes-f5l Месяц назад +7

    Gerald it sounds like a nightmare. You both need peace from each other, a fresh start, this toxicity been going on too long. I feel for you. l

  • @bell4textu973
    @bell4textu973 Месяц назад +7

    I have said this before Gerard, but you must understand that divorce is the only way out. She now regularly threatens to report you to the police, - and she has done it before. You should contact the police and tell them that she is threatening you with a police report.

  • @jamesjj5695
    @jamesjj5695 Месяц назад +25

    Unfortunately this is a prime example of why anyone who suffers from the slightest bit of mental health should not reproduce. The never ending circle of toxic family drama.
    Your wife and children don’t respect you because you provide nothing. A man must provide and woman just has to go with the flow. I don’t mean to sound harsh.
    I hope you have better luck in the future.

    • @Kimonawhim-777
      @Kimonawhim-777 Месяц назад

      You don't sound harsh.You sound like a jerk.

    • @KAREN-rx9pq
      @KAREN-rx9pq Месяц назад +3

      Yes I agree

    • @KAREN-rx9pq
      @KAREN-rx9pq Месяц назад +1

      Yes I agree

    • @pmh9966
      @pmh9966 Месяц назад +1

      Yes i have been there . i am supposedly a dead beat dad!

    • @Mercedesbentyeah
      @Mercedesbentyeah Месяц назад +2

      Mental health- you mean poor mental health?

  • @Citizen-Lee
    @Citizen-Lee Месяц назад +2

    Ideally we shouldn't want to change the behavior of someone else, except for the corrective parenting we provide for the children we are raising.
    If a spouse, friend, family member, acquaintance, or colleague is behaving in a way that is irritating to us we can ask if it is their intention to continue the irritating behavior. After letting them know that the behavior is unwanted in your life, then you have a choice to make. Leave the relationship or situation or learn to tolerate the behavior.
    Sometimes we marry, date, or befriend the wrong person. Feel free to make the necessary edits to the line up of people who have access to you. Free yourself. Breathe easy.
    People who want you to do for them, but they rarely ask what they can do for you are not worth having in your life. Relationships thrive when love and care go both ways.
    A cluttered or messy home / car/ office has a negative effect on one's personal energy. It can foster anxiety without realizing the source of the anxiety.

  • @blissbliss3531
    @blissbliss3531 Месяц назад +3

    sounds like you are both on depression plus not happy together and moving is a bear to transition and losing ones home is saddening by itself....it seems like if you guys moved on from one another as you have zero support there....packing is hard too...she could care less about the place or you, it is so sad. I think more people than you know have been thru such a painful transition but you must keep moving, never give up and never surrender...split up and move on...RUN don't walk....she hates you

  • @shanehall98
    @shanehall98 Месяц назад +6

    I have experienced people my life causing arguments, and when you tell them to f off or you tw@t the door, they play the victim. Some of the stuff some say is vile and it feels like gaslighting when they don't understand the anger afterwards.

  • @Patricia197y
    @Patricia197y Месяц назад +25

    I’m starting to feel sorry for your wife.

    • @oliverdann3155
      @oliverdann3155 Месяц назад +10

      🤣 brutal but i agree

    • @arrBuh
      @arrBuh Месяц назад +3

      Miserable

    • @Rae-yv7md
      @Rae-yv7md Месяц назад +3

      Sad but true.

    • @AdamLawrence-z2z
      @AdamLawrence-z2z Месяц назад +9

      @Patricia197y. I recently viewed a video featuring "Gerald," in which an individual referred to him as a parasite for having relied on his parents throughout his life. In his defence, he stated, "Well, they adopted me, and I gave them the experience of having a son." This assertion highlights a troubling reality: it seems evident that he has been excessively indulged by his adoptive parents and exhibits traits of narcissism. Now that his father's financial support has diminished, he appears to be in a state of panic, turning to RUclips for reassurance and donations. In my opinion, he should never have entered into marriage or fatherhood, as he seems unlikely to assume responsibility for himself, his wife, or his children.

  • @roadwarrior7401
    @roadwarrior7401 Месяц назад +1

    some excellent /realistic realities, and good points made here gerald !, home truths indeed for a lot of men.....................

  • @LowV-o7x
    @LowV-o7x Месяц назад +11

    19:30 you seriously shouldn’t have a child if you think like that. Maybe that’s why they avoid you because you leech on them, not give and protect them unconditionally. You created their life. Life is difficult in itself, even more when you don’t have proper supporting parents. It’s against nature to expect that. Sorry but you seem quite intelligent I don’t know why you fail seeing their perspective. Work on yourself and try better, despite depression, they don’t owe you nothing. Maybe they would be more compassionate and understanding towards your mental health struggle if you at least put the effort not to put your heavy burden on them. They have emotional NEEDS and a developing brain, don’t need a parent who has emotional needs and expect them to switch roles. Sorry but this is so triggering to see. You’ll inflict in them the same mental issues you have, they’ll have to waste their youth trying to heal what you do now.
    You have a child because you love them and want to take care of them and make them happy. Period. That’s the only reason you should have a child for.

    • @lindar9426
      @lindar9426 Месяц назад +4

      So agree with you. The children need a safe peaceful environment and if that's living with one parent so be it.

    • @patricksmith4424
      @patricksmith4424 Месяц назад +1

      OK the flip side to this argument is if you were to ask his kids. " would you have minded not being born". So what a horrible question and very stupid one, because what do you think the reply would be? Gerald's kids probably love life and are getting a huge amount from it. Remember that nature never plans anything, people and animals just get into situations, where kids arrive. His situation was perfect for kids. Western world, lovely place in Norfolk and married, what more could you want.

    • @LowV-o7x
      @LowV-o7x Месяц назад

      @@patricksmith4424 I can’t stand people like you who thinks everything is a checkbox. There is small t Trauma and big T trauma. Look it up. Small t trauma over a long time can be more damaging than going to war. You can’t ask them now because kids are like fish, they have no idea in what waters they swim since they’re born, no other concept of “normal”. Wait for 10-20 years for disabilities/depression/severe anxiety to show up. Or you should not wait, take proper care of them now. Especially emotionally.

    • @metalmike570
      @metalmike570 Месяц назад +2

      @@patricksmith4424 If his kids are normal that's a big plus. My son is a 22 year old autistic man, well he can't be a man he is much lower he is a level 3 autistic.
      This turns a family's life just about upside down. And it began 20 years ago.We've been divorced several years but I still go there and help all the time. It's okay because I'm mostly retired now.

    • @patricksmith4424
      @patricksmith4424 Месяц назад

      @@metalmike570 Yes Autism seems to be getting g much more common now, and its like having a disabled child, although I don't know much about the caring aspect. The point is, is that Autism and disability can happen to even the most happy marriages. As far as I know it is not caused by an unhappy partnership. Of course anything like this will put a huge strain on a relationship often to the point of break up. But both you and your ex can praise yourselves for having to deal with it. Carers need praise.

  • @Out_of_The_Furnace_2013Film
    @Out_of_The_Furnace_2013Film Месяц назад +1

    Nothing wrong with crying. I cry

  • @TheSonnyfaiz
    @TheSonnyfaiz Месяц назад +2

    I wouldn’t say anything. Just pack everything nicely, just try to stay happy, listen to your favourite music.
    Pack her stuff and pack your stuff and maybe clear them to one side. Clean the mould with hot water if it’s visible. They cannot process anything anymore, there’s no emotions. No feelings. I get this and I know. I hope it goes ok. It can be done. The mess can be fixed, just clear your mind, put your mind on this mess, chuck what you can away and you’re ready to go and be happy 😊 if money was discussed I would shut up because that creates all the drama. Happiness and life is more important than money. And money is all most people care about. In my mind it’s in the back of my mind so I don’t care much for it as I don’t have much of it anyway and never will.

  • @susieseegolun6153
    @susieseegolun6153 Месяц назад +4

    I’m so sorry but if someone is ill with depression or anything else there’s medication available. If someone doesn’t take the medication then they don’t want to get better. Sadly I’ve heard you say you won’t take antidepressants because this is wrong and that’s wrong with them.
    Your life is a total train crash, you both need a kick up the arse.
    Do you think your children are happy at home with you? A child will always remember their childhood, any future partners will ask them did they have a happy childhood, what do you think they’ll say? No child should be brought up in such a toxic environment.
    What I’ve said is only the tip of the iceberg. There are so many broken in your relationship and if you don’t start to repair what’s wrong your children will hate the pair of you.
    You and ‘your friends’ relationship is also damaging your children, they are being raised on the fact that as far as Dad is concerned he leaves them with a very unstable mother. If any of your children mention any of this train crash to a teacher and they mention it to someone else then Social Services will come and have a field day in your house. So you need to get a grip, and stop focusing on the past. Compare your children’s childhood with yours.
    I’m probably going to be slated on this but you really do need a massive wake up call.

    • @AdamLawrence-z2z
      @AdamLawrence-z2z Месяц назад

      @susieseegolun6153,
      I have encountered numerous situations akin to Gerald’s, which are indeed quite complex. The good news is that there is professional assistance available through General Practitioners (GPs) via the NHS, as well as various charitable organisations. Seeking professional help is a crucial step for all parties involved, and it is also essential to recognise that we are primarily hearing Gerald’s perspective on these events.
      I have observed that Gerald tends to delete any comments he finds disagreeable, which may indicate the presence of a more serious mental health issue. Nonetheless, as part of my duty as a lawyer, I will review his videos, and depending on the content he continues to present, I may feel compelled to alert the appropriate authorities to investigate the health and well-being of his wife and children. After all, the protection of children must be a priority,his details can be located.

  • @zodiacstorm
    @zodiacstorm Месяц назад +1

    friends of mine have asian wives. they are what is known as dragon ladies. all lovey dovey before they get married, then after marriage, bang, turn into ball busters. another thing with them is that they are humorless. I bet you can count the times that you and her laughed together on the fingers of one hand. but when they are with their asian girlfriends they laugh and have fun and are happy. as soon as they are just with their husband, they turn back into ball busters.

  • @mariadurnin1747
    @mariadurnin1747 Месяц назад +11

    If you want to get the best price for your house at the auction in November it might be good idea to start cleaning the house room a by room an maybe a bit of paint and doing the gardens .. Sounds like you need a declutter get everyone to help 😂🫣.. Only saying this cause first impressions count ..

    • @gerofiore9695
      @gerofiore9695  Месяц назад +3

      Mate you are 100% right. This is what I have to do but she is not on board, there's something missing here that I don't understand.

  • @juneingram1130
    @juneingram1130 Месяц назад +1

    You mentioned asking your wife if you could sort out the fridge and she said no.what would happen if you just did it without asking first . Would she even notice or would that cause an argument too

  • @Paul2-un4ey
    @Paul2-un4ey Месяц назад

    All the best to you Gerald 👍👍👍

  • @triniCleo
    @triniCleo Месяц назад +5

    Remind me,isn't there a connection between lupus and mental illness of some sort? Lupus without medical treatment is a death wish. I looked at the state of the kitchen and thought to myself.....here are two adults who are struggling, how are the children coping in such a situation. Stop the complaining and just START the cleaning, begin by throwing things out! Why aren't the children WASHING THE DISHES!! Be silent, don't create nor respond to provocations. Work on the solution.

    • @lisaj3474
      @lisaj3474 Месяц назад

      So easy to say; but very hard to put in to practice with severe depression. !!!!

  • @WillandShawna
    @WillandShawna Месяц назад +7

    I feel sorry for his wife too.

  • @huhhuhhuh4069
    @huhhuhhuh4069 Месяц назад +2

    It's over.

  • @AndrewBell-f3v
    @AndrewBell-f3v Месяц назад +2

    Your environment will affect your mental health, don't let your home take control of your mental wellbeing being, unfortunately sounds like one of you must move out to shift the unhappy atmosphere

  • @eppityrrell8236
    @eppityrrell8236 Месяц назад +1

    Id get a few skips and get rid of what no dont use anymore room by room I hope you can turn things round soon ✨🕊️☘️

  • @Holger101
    @Holger101 Месяц назад

    You are a damn hero Gerald. It is just the way it is.

  • @KAREN-rx9pq
    @KAREN-rx9pq Месяц назад +2

    Oh Gerald, what a mess mate!!! BUT in fairness both of you have and are still creating it!! Can't you see this? My advice is, get divorced put all this behind you move on mentally/let go and start a new life. Christ/universe live within me and IM loving my life I suggest you take the same route.🙏❤️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

  • @johnmaggiorino4493
    @johnmaggiorino4493 Месяц назад +2

    😢🙏🏼

  • @qwertyqwert2772
    @qwertyqwert2772 Месяц назад +2

    if she is exhausted she is going to be reactive

  • @stejo73
    @stejo73 Месяц назад +1

    I like the beard. You've got a lot going for you. Without challenge there wouldn't be purpose. If that's gone, I wonder what's left.

  • @RobertJ82
    @RobertJ82 Месяц назад

    When things kick off like that with your daughter or whoever - easier said than done of course, but try just stepping out of their emotional range. Step back, but don't back down if that makes sense. Damage can only be caused in this case if you're in their conflicxt ring (and a woman's conflict ring is emotional lashing out however they can, with whatever they feel they can), and just tell them that they ought to feel ashamed for speaking the way they do.
    Tell them that you love them, and it worries you that not only are they disrespectful to your ill friend, you, but they are also not respecting themselves by speaking and acting the way they are.
    Tell them you're taking the car to see your ill friend.

  • @davidmatthews9088
    @davidmatthews9088 Месяц назад +2

    Love your total honesty about matters. It’s what makes your videos absorbing. You tell it as it is. You’re honest with yourself (and us).
    After a recent video where you said you should get into a good routine, I was going to suggest exactly what you said in this video. I was going to say to put in 2 hours a day. It’s what I started doing with my house at the beginning of last winter. I started off with cleaning the windows. My main goal was to sort out the three loft spaces etc etc.
    I totally agree with your idea of 2 hours a day. I think you and me have the same attitude to it. We’ve got better things to do. Also the tasks at hand are so big it seems pointless to start.
    I used to look at the clock when I started work. The aim was to get to 90 minutes. Sometimes that would be it. At best, maybe in two shifts, I could put in 3 or 3.5 hours - call it an average of about two hours. The work doesn’t seem to make any difference but if you started in the kitchen, you would make a difference in the first shift. Your wife and daughter would see the improvement and appreciate it. My reward afterwards was to cycle to the local university with two thermos’s of coffee and write. (I’m addicted to both). Your reward could be to retreat to your car and chat to all of us.
    When I couldn’t face work in the house, I’d put 2 hours into the garden. I’d prefer that. I’d go out not knowing what I could do but there was always something.
    I’ve got two daughters. I appreciate exactly where you’re coming from. I would apologise to your eldest for the recent thing and tell her you love her. She may throw it in your face but it’s then done. Because of the wife you are on a losing battle.
    I don’t like giving advice. Im pretty sure you can’t go wrong with the 2 hours a day thing though.

  • @Okradoma
    @Okradoma Месяц назад +1

    This was a brilliant rant!hahaa!

  • @darrensmith9407
    @darrensmith9407 Месяц назад

    Here's what you do:
    Go to the gym, buy a good wig, an armani suit, red sports car and turn up at your house with a samantha fox look-alike....trust me, you'll be happier than ever and so will your wife

  • @kardrek2461
    @kardrek2461 Месяц назад

    Same age, no wife, no kids.
    Society expect from men everything.
    A woman in your situation would intrigued more people.
    Men cry and get desperate too...
    Take care man ! You have every right to cry and not be ashamed about it.

  • @GeorgesDupont-do8pe
    @GeorgesDupont-do8pe Месяц назад +1

    Never apologise, never explain. Say "yes dear, no dear, three bags full dear". Then do what you want. Works for me. Or just ignore her, but it's giving the impression that you give an f is the complicated bit.

  • @Peter-cz8hx
    @Peter-cz8hx Месяц назад

    Hope you still use that juicing machine, it is one of the best, ive got one, good for smoothies, carrot , apple juice.. try these only for a week and feel the benefits.

  • @chrisstones3488
    @chrisstones3488 Месяц назад

    This is true, my sister met someone with money, and we haven't seen her in years 😂

  • @jagz6794
    @jagz6794 Месяц назад +6

    Hi Gerald, I noticed in previous videos that your kitchen was a mess and it shows a lack of respect and care on her part.
    I've worked with people who are severely, severely autistic and they know to put things in the fridge!
    There's a difference between a messy kitchen and a gross one, with multiple food items continuously left out.
    I'm surprised she's not concerned with the wasted money on food to be honest!😂
    She's lazy!😂

  • @WhatInDaWorldTV
    @WhatInDaWorldTV Месяц назад

    I know this is a financial issue, but you need a housekeeper. Even if it's temporary. Sorry to hear about your wife's condition. It's definitely a factor. I'm not familiar with Lupus but thanks for educating.

  • @Marius_vanderLubbe
    @Marius_vanderLubbe Месяц назад

    Grow honest friend and times will mend.

  • @eisvogel8099
    @eisvogel8099 Месяц назад +1

    Just leave. This won't work. In about 10 years you're still sitting in your car complaining.

  • @tenminutetokyo2643
    @tenminutetokyo2643 Месяц назад

    The greater the test, the greater the reward.

  • @steve-gv7yn
    @steve-gv7yn Месяц назад

    It sounds like a melting pot in that house
    Sounds like my house growing up. Maybe just do one hour a day on the house yourself

  • @Tony-hu7uk
    @Tony-hu7uk Месяц назад

    That was funny,"No more whining and moaning."

  • @thomasmeier0815
    @thomasmeier0815 Месяц назад

    check your VITAMIN D levels

  • @Tandenloos
    @Tandenloos Месяц назад

    Yes empty😢

  • @JaziRedz
    @JaziRedz Месяц назад

    Did he say stables?

  • @Tandenloos
    @Tandenloos Месяц назад

    I have the eye problem sunglassesmr

  • @GeorgesDupont-do8pe
    @GeorgesDupont-do8pe Месяц назад

    Sunblindness Mr Fiore. Try sunnies. I really disliked and lacked respect for my father. Get nightmares that he's come back. Like something out of a horror movie. I'll ask him to sort out your house next time he appears.

  • @adelinekeys6582
    @adelinekeys6582 Месяц назад +2

    I agree with you totally about women and girls. And im female 😂 but not a woke one 😂

  • @sxceve25
    @sxceve25 Месяц назад

    Good man..let it all out,men do cry..🫶🏽