Aphantasia: a life with no mind's eye (interview)
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- Aphantasia is a condition where people are unable to create mental pictures or imagine things in their "mind's eye". It is often (but not always) associated with neurodivergent (autistic, ADHD) individuals.
This week I am talking to Dianna Moylan, an aphantasiac, about her experience of life without mental pictures.
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Do you have aphantasia?
I believe I do, I never knew it was a thing to have until now, thankyou for this video!
I love the thumbnail
Wow! Really interesting. I was diagnosed autistic at the age of 62 and since then, watching your videos, I have discovered that I am also alexithymic and now aphantasic. Such a simple test too. The mind boggles!
probably but i feel like i can imagine some in my mind just maybe not fully but wow i wish i had been as aware of this as much as this woman seems to be, very interesting conversation, love it
I discovered I have this since the first time someone told me to close my eyes and imagine something, I was really young and since that I hate those exercises ahahah! I can think about everything but just can't see them when I close my eyes :)
I actually didn't dislikemysxelf when I saw me. Well, that's a relief. And I think we mostly made sense. That's good too.
You came across very well. Thanks for the interesting video.
thank you for sharing your experience. i had never heard of this and it was interesting learning about it.
Well done, I enjoyed hearing your experience. I have 'total aphantasia', meaning I don't have a minds ear, touch, feel, taste or anything. I find watching myself back on video very strange as I often have no recall of the event that was videoed. The label for that is Severly Deficient Autobiographical Memory (what they mean is an absence of episodic memory).
Lovely human thank you! I also have aphantasia ♡
Thank you so much for sharing! I definetly learned something new :) In my opinion, you come off as having the confident-wise-goofy-intelligent caracter to you. Very refreshing! :)
I am 71 years old and only heard about aphantasia a couple of years ago. I have it, and I never knew or even suspected that other people actually could SEE something in their "mind's eye". What a revelation!
I'm also 71 and never heard of this or even imagined it until my sister called me when I was65 or 66. She asked me to close my eyes and imagine a bright red apple. She then asked me what I saw. I laughed and said I always hated when people say that because when you close your eyes there's nothing. She was very excited because she had just found out that people actually do this with normality. I was blown away. Out of 12 siblings she and I are the only ones who have it. She didn't know what it was called so I did a little research and told her that we have aphantasia. Anyway it's never been a problem for either of us. I just find it amusing, yet I wish I did have a minds eye.
I always thought it was basically a metaphor when people told me to close my minds and imagine things. I have absolutely no mind’s eye, and life would be SO much less depressing if i could.
I always wonder... what exactly did you think it'd be a metaphor for if someone tells you to imagine an image in your head?
Not necessarily. It can be a nightmare when images you dont want there pop into your head often at the worst possible times. Many people can take for granted that they themselves wish they could block certain things out. Beleive me when i say that sometimes it might actually be a blessing. Just a scoach ;D
@Crimson 5 oh i can imagine it could be really terrible sometimes!
@@thinkthistime13 I'm autistic and like Sam I was late diagnosed. I spent most of my life feeling like simething was fundamentally wrong with me until i was able to put a name to it. Then I was finally able to recognize all the wonderful things about myself because I'm autistic, even knowing there are many things others can do that I will never be able to. I'm certain you are the same, gifted in ways most aren't because of your lack of "inner-eye". Limitation is the foundation of creativity after all 😎
That's fascinating. So, how do you experience memories?
Holding a kids face to force them to look at you does sound so cruel. Especially since eye contact feels painful to the child.
I think I'm the opposite. My thought process is so visual that I can't really imagine a thought process without mental images. Now, something I always hear is that most people are able to make a disembodied voice in their heads which they call an "internal monologue", and I just don't have that. When I was a really little kid, I had sort of a "language" of mental images that I had made up where every word had a specific mental image to go with it, and when I talked to someone I would form a sequence of mental images in my head and then say the words that those mental images went with, and when someone said something to me I would have to translate all their words into mental images before I understood it. This was very exhausting, so I avoided talking to people if I could. What I do now is, if I'm thinking about something that requires the use of language to express it is, I imagine myself telling someone about what I'm thinking, which is similar functionally to an internal monologue, but the difference is that I can't just make a voice in my head like everyone else.
Same. I had a hard time writing in college. Had to picture it first then write it as I'm "seeing" it. Amost impossible.
Same with the visual, but I have the inner monolague voice, also. I have the best conversations with myself in my head...
Yes when people would say listen to the little voice I thought they must b speaking metaphorically. There's no voice
That's impressive! I'm the opposite, my mental voice is very very strong and I can even imagine different types of voices or even the voices of people I know, also sounds or music... BUT I cannot see pictures in my head unless it's something from real life that I've already seen many many times and can remember (and I still see it blurry) I cannot just randomly imagine something. Which is contradictory because I'm a visual artist hahaha but anyway this is really interesting, our brains are so different!
@@heedmydemands lmao well that's different hahah that is actually a metaphor. I have a very strong inner voice but there's no such thing as a little voice telling you what is right or wrong always, it's just your own thoughts with your own same voice. If you hear "other little voices" you might wanna go see a psychiatrist lmao. So yeah, it is a metaphor actually. It means your sense of morality, your values and common sense, not an actual voice.
This is a THING!!!
I could never “visualize” my future or what you asked Dianna to do - a horse in a field, its legs, a double-rainbow, or other, similar things. I used to wonder what made my brain like that - that I couldn’t visualize. Yet, when I SEE something, I often can then transfer it, with practice, to seeing it in my mind.
A psychologist once told me how to remember things, by making up a story. It was so much effort for me, that I would FORGET whatever story I attempted to make up! I suspect that that is part of the functionality of my brain, or LACK, thereof. My grandchild has this lack of brain function for Math processes and will have help in their new school, because of their recent autism diagnosis.
So much has come out about MY brain, as a result of my grandchild’s autism diagnosis! I’m so grateful that this child INSISTED from about the age of 4, and finally received a diagnosis, 9 years later!
My turn! I’ve written over this holiday weekend, to an autism group in my province, about how to go about getting a diagnosis.
Thank you and Dianna for discussing this topic of aphantasia.
Blessings!
This is so interesting, thank you! It's fascinating how every one of us grows up without knowing how other people's minds function. I can hear the buzzing of my own bloodstream in my ears, and it wasn't until I went through the process for autism diagnosis this year that I realized that most other people don't. I have a pretty good mind eye: when I read a book, I can actually see the scenes happening, and when my boyfriend said to me that he can't, I was really puzzled. Now I understand how some people can find books boring. I can imagine things in good detail, although not perfectly. But, interestingly, I also have trouble recognizing people's faces. I need to see a person several times before I can recognize them, and even then, with some people I can never be sure it's them until I talk to them, unless they have very distinct features or they are people I see on a daily basis.
I picture scenes from books, I can feel the wind and rain and stuff too, start to feel cold if it's cold in the book. But when I picture characters it's people I know in real life or people from media that I've seen and they don't particularly have to match the character description. It's funny how I will strongly associate people from my real life, usually people I don't know well, with the character. There was a guy in the school bus that I pictured as one of the kids from the chronicles of Narnia
How interesting. I am a zero on the scale of visualization but am very good at recognizing faces.
Such a great conversation! Greetings to the lovely lady who shared her story😊 I think of myself as quite educated in all things brain-related but I had no idea about aphantasia! Thanks for making the video Sam:)!
I’m not diagnosed but have some traits of asd and add, following directions is a nightmare for me and I can’t clearly imagine things in my head. I kinda thought of it as an incompetence in a way, like I didn’t try hard enough, now I’ll consider that it’s just how my brain is wired😌
Ooh, thanks for covering this topic, all of a sudden it’s blowing up out of nowhere as a discussion 😃
What a random video to discover today! I study psychology but also I think I'm autist myself, but some days ago I was discussing with some classmates about how they think and imagine and everyone told me they see pictures and I was the only one that doesn't. It's just a big coincidence your video appear on my recommendations!
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What a delightful lady!!! I don't have aphantasia, but I am autistic and have synesthesia as well. I really enjoyed this conversation.
i dont "see" anything in my head, but i know exactly what it looks like, every detail as if I'm looking at an artwork and then the lights go out. i don't see it but i remember every detail about it.
its very strange, Im able to come up with a design i just don't see it
That's actually a really good way of describing it!
That would explain why when I remember something often it’s a photo of it I remember not the live version. I don’t see it but my brain remembers the last sight of something regardless of whether it’s a photo or real
I am a self-identified aspie (thanks to one of your videos), and I have an interesting take on this topic: I can retrieve (very vivid) images from experiential inputs, that is, from my long term memory, but I can't imagine "from scratch", specially when I'm reading. It's funny, because somehow words elicit sensory response (I can "feel" the words, from their meaning to their rythm), but there's no picture in my mind. If I retrieve memory images while reading, those are quick and blurry.
"I keep failing the autism test" - I get her. I "failed" too.
(But I have autistic traits)
It's like you really feel like you are something, but when you want clarity they tell you "no you can't". The problems are still there and it's not like they have a better explanation. And this is a community that you feel like you belong to, but nope...
"It's good to feel that I am okay" That's what I mean. That's the thing we did not get..
If you're female, it's a good chance you *are* autistic. The problem is the criteria were developed by observing young boys who often have quite different traits to girls and women. Have you watched the Tony Attwood video on Asperger's in girls and women? I'd also recommend joining a women only Aspie Facebook group. They understand the barriers to getting an assessment or diagnosis so you don't have to have an official diagnosis to be welcomed there and to finally find your people. One I like is Aspergers & Autism Safe Room: A Safe Haven For Women On The Spectrum
Self-diagnosis is valid
What a wonderful lady! And a great interview! Great job Sam. This was very interesting indeed. I think I am more similar to you, in that I can imagine a visual image in my mind, but it is almost like a dream in that it is difficult to focus on and discern detail.
On the subject of dreaming, I don't have dreams. A shrink once told me that I drop through the R.E.M. that quick that I couldn't remember them. This was some 40 odd years ago. I am amazed that people can visualise but I can't miss something that I never had. I've seen some aweful things in my life but they don't come back to haunt me because I can't see them, I can remember them but I can" see them and I think that has less of an impact me. I love this old dear she is explaining it very well, words not pictures.
This is so interesting! It made me think of something called Selective Memory. You remember what you want to remember and you choose not to remember what you don't from the trauma you've experienced. The mind is a very powerful thing.
Kendra Morana I might have that. Every time I get angry at someone, I immediately forget about it half an hour or so later. It’s not something I can control, it just happens. If asked to recall the details of the fight, I’ll blank out. Unless people tell me exactly what happened, then I go “oh, it might have been that” and go back to forgetting.
So fascinating. I am 10 plus... as what is in my head is even more vivid than what my eyes see. I perceive extra dimensions. I am a Designer and Fine Art Consultant. It has always baffled me when I say to a client to picture, for instance, how a painting would look in a particular place in their home,that they can’t. This happens often. They need me to bring it out to see what I am already seeing. Additionally, I have always perceived that all those on the Spectrum also have this very vivid multi-dimensional mind’s eye, holding their attention in a rapt manner. What is outside me is real, but less real.
I'm kind of like you. I can "see" things in my mind, especially if I don't think about it (e. g. Daydreaming), but as soon as I try to focus on anything it's gone. But I'm not sure whether this has to do anything with aphantasia or it's just me overthinking it, because it works, when I don't think to much about it, like listening to audio books, but on the other hand I never try to focus on anything if I'm just listening to/imagining something.
Same here, as a child I always imagined stories about a princess in my mind. I could see things clearly enough to say: "This is a dark forest", or, "this is the king", but that's it. I never really saw the face or hair or clothing of this princess that was part of my childhood for so long.
Heck yeah! Exactly. The image is 'there'... but as soon as I try to 'zoom in', it all goes to pot.
I also have great difficulty transferring what's in my 'mind's eye' out onto paper, speech, or whatever.
And yet, my memory & thinking processes are *all* visual.
If I've seen an image, I can call it to mind (although with a sever lack of 'zoom', as above).; but imagining an _original_ image is another kettle of fish, entirely.
@@AllanMacBain Exactly. You put into words what I tried to say, just wayyy better
I have it only when I try to do maths. Then my mind eye is blank. I also have dyslexia and sinestesia. I have had complex ptsd since age 2. I find my mind functions very strange to the average. But I now know how to work with it.
My dreams are just my voice reading me a generally very very strange story, like I’m reading myself a book out loud in my head.
I don't know if I can see pictures in my head... maybe? Great video!
I just learned about aphantasia a couple of months ago. Fascinating! I have colourful images of people, places and things in my mind as I think and dream so this is all new to me that others do not. As far as convincing skeptics that one who has aphantasia does not have an internal screen showing pictures or movies in one's mind, I would liken it to the human mind cannot conceive of its own non-existence. This is universal. We all do have differences in the ways our mind works. Some of the ways the mind works have names, others do not yet. The label aphantasia works very well.
Things like this is so fascinating, because until you explicitly talk in detail about it, it can be so difficult to pinpoint how people are different in these ways.
Wait, people think in pictures and not words?!?! Mind blown!
Ok, wait a minute. I am pretty sure I have this because when I read a book, all the characters walk around in a fog and they all look the same. That's part of the reason why I hate reading so much. On the flip slide, I am professionally trained as an interior designer and can look at a floor plan, reflected ceiling plan, lighting plan, and electrical plan all together and am able to imagine the space with 100% accuracy what it will look and feel like just based on the 2 dimensional technical drawings.
All of my life I couldn't understand how people can actually see things in their minds. Now I understand that I might have Aphantasia. I never could be able to visualize an image in my mind. To actually see it with my mind.
My comment would echo many others, that recently I realised people literally see things. The way I understand it, is I intuitively know what the picture should be, the idea behind it without actually seeing it.
If I asked you to remember a taste or smell, you don’t actually taste or smell it, however your brain compares something to something and agrees that you do infact remember the taste or smell, you just know you do, even without physically sensing it in that moment. Visually it’s the same.
I know I remember what my car looks like, what it would look like from a different angle, or with different modifications, I can intuitively understand the picture without seeing it.
The difference is I’m aware of when those intuitions are going through my head, it’s a feeling almost that instantly occurs, and vanishes a moment later. If I was to really focus on what an image would look like with different details, I’m aware my mind is constantly refreshing the image almost like stop motion. However there is no image I can see, just the constant knowing of what the image would look like. My assumption is everyone does this, the idea behind the picture they generate, they know what the image is before their mind creates it, the only difference is they actually draw it in, where as I don’t.
That’s how I’m thinking about it.
If you were to react to something and have to navigate around your room in a hurry, maybe your playing a sport, you don’t need to visualise the surroundings, you have intuition guiding you from a picture you know but don’t see. The difference is if I focus then it’s still that intuition, like a quick snap shot enters your head of a black sheet that you just know what’s on it without being able to see it. It’s seemingly very hard to articulate, I’m just aware that’s what I’m doing, and assumed that’s what everyone did and saying they “see” something in their head was just said for lack of a better term.
Memories, ideas and creative ability is all the same, stored and recalled and I know they are correct however I just don’t see the picture, however I don’t need to see it either to know what’s there (similar to the smelling example I said)
This actually kept my ADHD interest and I didnt even watch it on faster speed. Fascinating. I only wish there wasn’t editing, I would have loved to watch the whole thing unedited. I’m autistic and editing like jump cuts makes me distrust the information somehow, like something is being hidden from me, so I feel though I loved this interview, and could have happily watched them talk for an hour, that I don’t have the full picture of it because stuff was cut out. Please take this on board cuz I love your videos Sam!!!🎉
I like my quiet Aphantasious mind. It's always peaceful. No unnecessary thoughts, always present. Aphantasia has many advantages in my opinion it's just a matter of perspective
I'm very welcome.
I can understand that someone say it's very much unusual conversation or will it be weird, yet I do not perceive it that way, the more, I would be happy to have those conversations with other people around, as I try no one is responding from my circle, still, it's enough for me to have those conversations by myself. Even when talking to my friend today, after hour of talking "unusual" only I can expect is "this is hard", means not more than, "I won't give it more space to process that opportunity".
I can see things in my minds eye with my eyes open. I'm typing this at the beginning of the video, whilst they are talking about seeing a horse. I'm seeing a brown horse with a shiny coat, black muzzle and socks, in a sunny open field etc.
I found this video just now. I learned about aphantasia about a week and a half ago. Up until now I have just thought that when people talk about visualization they mean metaphorically, not that people actually see things with their eyes closed... For me that equals hallucinations! My minds eye is blind when I'm awake, but I have very vivid dreams - and remember them very clearly afterwards (which isn't quite normal either, I've been told). So I guess there are degrees of this also.
Oddly enough I never forget a face, if I saw you 20 years ago even if only for 5 minutes I will remember your face and where. Loving this vid.
Thanks for the interview. I have aphantasia. It is a condition. I have had aphantasia all my life. It is a relief to know it has a name. I do wish I could experience visual imagery in the mind.
I realized I have a nearly blind mind's eye just a year or two ago, when a youtuber talked about it and talked viewers through this apple exercise and I realized I could not see anything but grey/black/white mush, maybe a glimpse of a very crude outline of an apple but nothing more. I would be 0-2 on this scale, it varies a bit. It was immensely relieving for me to learn about this. I do have visuals in dreams, but they are hard to remember and describe. I can see a memory, but I can't make up new pictures in my head. Also I remember I had a much better mind's eye as a kid. Maybe aphantasia is another symptom of being traumatized for me.
My husband on the other hand would be 12/10, his mind's eye is absolutely ridiculously life like, he can conjure anything and do it so vividly. He can actually "draw" in the air or on a table with his finger and he can see the drawing as if he's used pen and paper. Sometimes these drawings interfere with seeing real life objects that are behind them, can you imagine? We are two opposites on this one, even though we are both very creative. I've actually heard that aphantasia is somewhat common in people who have ptsd or other serious trauma disorder. I wonder if it's true!
I think tromer is a big factor in it, I believe it is for me. I'm incredible at blocking things out from physical pain to memorys of trauma I can keep at the back of my mind choosing whether or not to remember them or not but my friends faces I can not remember or scenery.
amazingly eye opening video for me, thank you!!
This is a great interview, thank you! I'm a tactile thinker. I remember things through touch, how things make me feel and movements and sound. I remember people by their voice and how they move, their body posture etc...
I'm probably a 3 on the Aphantasia scale. I can see an image but it's a composite, not original or realistic. I can remember a drawing of a horse or a t.v. image, but not the real horse from an actual memory. I'll hear the wind and see the grass moving in the field. But it's a generic field. If I focus on image details in my mind, it makes me nauseated.
I was diagnosed with Autism (Aspergers) at aged 54 and only recently realised I have aphantasia 😢. I always thought ‘ visualisation was a metaphor. Now it seems like a superpower. I do get visual dreams though.
The better way I found to show you have aphantasia is if you think the flashbacks in movies where just cheesy dramatics and people don’t actually remember things like a movie playing in their head. Someone with a minds eye actually sees their memories like their watching a movie in their head.
It's so amazing how freeing a proper diagnosis can be!
I have aphantasia. I’m definitely a 1 on the scale. Images appear briefly, but they are more like fuzzy shadows or distortions, and then it disappears after less than a second. However, my dreams are extremely vivid, and I almost always lucid dream. I also experience a lot of hypnagogic and hypnopompic dreams when I am falling asleep and waking up.
I have aphantasia and I never knew it had a name. I have been frustrated by the inability of others to accept that I have no minds eye. In addition It took many years to learn the name of the faculty which I didn’t have (minds eye) so that I could explain my difficulty! ha ha. I absolutely hated those guided visual things where you were supposed to imagine and enjoy some tour around a lake where dolphins were playing. And I didn’t envy those who could enjoy it, it seemed inane to me. I worked in a job once involving colour and illustration and I had to learn strategies to remember colours and reproduce them. Those strategies involved naming the colours accurately at the time I could view them so that I had reference names to recall. So I cannot recall any image of something I have viewed. Is this also related to aphantasia?
Yes, not remembering images is related to aphantasia. Currently researchers in Canada are studying also a heavy link between aphantasia and a more serious memory issue they're calling SDAM Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory, where you have intact memory of facts, but you can't remember in detail events of your life. It seems about half the people who have one also have the other.
zeldahime Wow, thank you, I seriously do not remember my life, and I often ponder whether what I do remember is actually about me. thus has led therapists to presume PTSD but this doesn’t really fit.
zeldahime if you have any links to share on this research, could you please post them.
@@lindsay.newman Sure, I'll post the address of the site in another comment. If youtube deletes it, just ping my name again.
They're taking volunteers for their research online still, if you're interested, I just looked. I'm taking part in it from long distance.
I have very serious autobiographic memory problems as well, all the while remembering in detail books and TV series, but PTSD has never been suggested for me. Which is interesting, because I've heard often from women with ASD that they were diagnosed with PTSD first, and I never experienced that myself. I only got mistakenly diagnosed with social phobia before I got my ASD diagnosis at ~25 years old. I suppose it might be because I don't experience meltdowns and dissociation often, and they're both fairly common in autism and PTSD.
@@lindsay.newman sdamstudy.weebly.com/
That's the page.
I love your personality from what I can tell from your videos. I have not yet been diagnosed but I believe I have PTSD, OCD, I'm AUTISTIC, AND I HAVE ADHD. I also have APHANTASIA. I do not have any senses during my memory recall. This is interesting to me though; I do have images in my dreams. But my ptsd may have something to do with my aphantasia. I hope to find out about my diagnosis soon.
absolutely LOVED this!! Dianna is SUCH a delight!
I'm the opposite. I don't have an inner monologue, and I think in pictures. I didn't know it wasn't normal until I was in my early 20s. I often wonder if it's related to autism at all. but i'm very happy to not have a voice in my head 24/7. that must be exhausting. it makes me sad, though, that there are people who don't have a mind's eye. I'm so glad I do and that it's so vivid.
I am probably just below middle and part of that is because I’ve worked hard to ‘see’ things in my mind, even though I don’t actually see them, I kind of think them but by thinking them I feel less like a total weirdo, like I used to feel, although now I have my autism diagnosis and I’m learning more about myself, I don’t feel like a weirdo (although some things about me are definitely really weird) and I do totally accept and love myself now so as the lovely lady said, it’s ok not to be like others or not have the same abilities as others etc, we can still live a full and happy life. Thank you to both of you 🙏🏽
Omg! I realised I had/have Aphantasia about 7 years ago but after being diagnosed 2 years ago with ADHD and started medication I’m getting small flashes of visual memory when I honestly couldn’t before! It’s weak but changing!
I had a meltdown earlier today, I cannot imagine anything right now.
I could see images iny head when I was young(maybe not vividly), I saw that ability slowly fade over 20 years.
I often felt I might be on the autism spectrum, I can't cope in groups I don't understand their dynamics, I don't dream, I have no imagery and just see black, I talk to myself in my head all the time, weirdly I can talk to myself about talking to myself. I score on a tourettes test. I was 70 when I heard the term aphantasia
it seems like a quiet mind, thats kinda nice. focusing can kind of be a chore for me because my mind is kinda busy with images and sounds sometimes
What an interesting video! Thank you and please tell Dianna that it is amazing, that she is talking about it and very fascinating to hear about her perspective! Thanks again for this video! 👍🤗
"Just out of reach" sums it up for me. It takes huge effort for me to sit there and think about an image like that. Actually a bit exhausting (imagine characters trying to cast a spell in Harry Potter...!). It feels like there's something in the way. I have a general feeling that there's an image of a horse there, I just have to try to look around this dark object to see it.
I'm the opposite with faces though. I recognise people all the time and get distressed that I can't remember why I know them. This is different to picturing a face at will, I can't do that. My brain stores faces away constantly and if I'm confronted with that input again, it tries to go through the catalogue in my brain to find it, often beyond the point of being useful... I worked in shops in my teens and met a lot of people! That was half my life ago but if I pass them on the street, the cogs start whirring and won't stop until I find their 'entry'. Thanks brain!
Something odd that does happen to me though - and I would LOVE to hear from other aphantasic people/synaethetes - is that before bed, just as I start to drift off, I get an explosion of colour in my closed eyes. Different colour combinations every night and maybe lasts a few seconds, but very vivid. Anyone else?
Thanks for this video, so much to think about!
Frusterating and cool brain. When I'm really stressed, trying to sleep is difficult because my head spins and its like I'm going to fall off from being so dizzy. Its like spinning around and around then feeling like falling over I get that when I'm really stressed going to sleep. Have you ever had that?
Aw I really like Dianna, she kept making me smile while I was watching this, she seems like a really sweet person :)
Fascinating lady. Great interview, Sam, insightful questions.
2.55 Hey Sam, when you described that I couldn’t see it, but I began planning how I would paint it. I couldn’t visualise a real life imaginary place, just the colours and shapes I’d draw or paint for such a scene. And when you said the horse I imagined one of those toy ones but I couldn’t see it in able to work out how to draw it. I could never draw people’s faces or people or animals because I couldn’t see them in my mind, but I could create grass, trees, a sky some clouds - making it up as I go, one step at a time. What does that make me?
I just spent 20 minutes trying to explain this! I don't see the picture, but I begin thinking if I was looking at it what would it look like? Where would things be?
I have mental drawings too. it's not like I'm really seeing something, it's like I'm sketching a simple drawing in the air in front of my face. I can use this to work on astrology charts. But I can't create a three-dimensional scene and go inside it. I find it absolutely mind-boggling that people can. How would the physics even work?
This is a fascinating conversation. I think I'm more on the lines of not being able to hold on to an image, especially if I try to manipulate a mental picture. I found this out when trying to use visualisation techniques to increase sports performance, when I was I was younger.
Very interesting!
When doing the test you spoke of, I can picture the field and sunny day, but then that image has to fade slightly in order to visualise the horse, but as soon as you asked "what colour is horse?" I had the image of a brown horse with a white diamond on it's noise 😊 And now after visualising them separately, I can put them together, and it's much clearer, but like you said, can't focus on details.
I have a lot of trouble when reading books, as I can't really visualise characters/ people and scenery/ place setting at the same time; for example, I can visualise the look of a Hogwarts' classroom when it is described, but it mostly fades into black emptiness when reading dialogue or character descriptions.
I like books and have only a li little amount of ability to see things in my head. I remember I used to have a feeling for each character in the book. Like if they felt angry or whatever the character said would generate an emotion for them. Hmmm but when I watch a movie I feel like I'm in the movie a book I don't feel that way, I feel as if the words written were my thorts and I'm each character feeling different emotions even different genders. Maybe you put feelings to the characters too instead of pictures. Or you could try and I think it would make reading more enjoyable.
If I picture a horse, depending on what I picture, I’ll even see the tail swishing in the wind even if the horse is stationary if it isn’t a still day.
That is so me....I can see colour and detailed scenes in real time with perfect acuity... but absolutely cannot recreate or recall a scene even 2 seconds later. I also can't recall what I look like even though I could recognise my photo in an instant. I also am pretty good with sounds, eg I can tune a guitar or hear someone sing a slight flat note when no one else does. Sigh.
T L I’m pretty sure you have perfect pitch. I doo too :)
You and I are very similar it seems. I cannot recall a scene after I've just looked at it. I also have very accurate pitch perception. I don't have perfect pitch, but I do have very good relative pitch, and once I hear the first note, I can tune a guitar accurately.
Well, i knew that i couldn't see faces but I never thought to consider a wider effects. Turns out i can "picture" the concept of a horse in a field, but it doesn't get colour until I'm told what colour it is. Also, if i try to go for details the whole thing flies apart. Thankyou Sam, I learned something else about me today.
I had no idea that people could actually see pictures in their minds! all that I see is darkness, I can't even see my wife and children, so it would be impossible to describe them to anyone, I now know that it has held me back so much in my life, by (for instance) if I take something to bits, I cannot see how it goes back together> Since finding about it I have asked every one I know, and all of them can see in their minds.
I would love to see all of that picture hanging on the wall that can be seen during your interview.
Peter Allen
Interestingly, having just come to realization that I am aphantasic, I always find it much easier to remember directions by forming a mental map than I do by remembering the words. Also a musician, and definitely dream in full colour. Also always thought I experience mild synaesthesia with music/colours - different musical key signatures have a different "colour" for me.
Brilliant woman, a very interesting insight and excellent descriptions and it seems her life is not impeded at all by her unique capabilities. I’m afraid using the word disabilities would be a great disservice as she is more than capable.
My husband can replay his memories like scenes from a movie. When I close my eyes it's all black every time.
Discovering I have aphantasia was so surprising. It hasn't changed my life at all, but it's still such a mystery how I can think about things in my minds eye but not actually see them.
So if you have aphantasia you’re also autistic?
I remember going to prenatal classes and everyone was asked to meditate imagining us on the beach and the sun is shining and I kept making waves sounds and laughing about how itchy sand isn’t relaxing and they kept telling me to just picture it. I couldn’t.
Incredibly fascinating subject, I'm aware I have face blindness, I've always had trouble connecting people to where I know them from, I know, I know them by their voices, however when I had been a witness to an incident, and was looking through mugshots, I couldn't give the police anything. Other than how they sounded and map out their movements. That was weird, and I do think the detectives where as frustrated as I was, yet I have extremely vivid dreams, I trees in the breeze, as every movement floods my mind with images, I know I must look mad hanging out my washing giggling because of the trees swaying and something funny comes flooding in. I can taste colour! And if something I'm actually eating doesn't taste like its colour, I can't eat it. Visual stimming is a favourite, but music, oh wow.. it's life, it's everything, I hear it when it's not even playing, my friend said I'm like Bumblebee, talking from transformers because I always have a song for whatever they say, and often answer with lyrics. Sometimes it's garners a giggle sometimes scorn. They should hug trees though. 😂🌲🌳🌴💖😘
I had this problem with the Police once. They got very angry because they thought I was being obstructive.
I lived six decades before I knew people could actually see pictures in their mind. I thought counting the sheep was to hypnotize yourself into sleeping. I had no idea they were SEEING sheep. How fantastic! I'm so envious. And Ive never been good at manifesting. Is it because I cant visualize?
I have aphantasia and have no minds eye at all. my biggest difference with her is that I can recognize people. I don't 'see' them but I'm still pretty good at recognizing faces.
I think I’m an 8-9, 10 if I train my brain and focus. I have extremely vivid dreams and I write fiction and poetry that is dense with imagery. If I want to deal with stress I can day dream and get lost in my thoughts. This video was very interesting especially coming from her personal experiences. More videos like these please!!
This condition fascinates me. I can picture and add detail. Fence, background, shade, perspective. But don't know why or how.
I have no images whatsoever when I close my eyes. Just black. It's crazy that I never knew others do. I've got degrees, and a normal life, or do I? Maybe I'm an alien. It's weird.
A very interesting interview, thanks
I would absolutely love to be friends with you both, you are both so lovely
I agree
I'm an animation student and I have Aphantasia and it makes it pretty hard to draw because when I'm trying to draw something I'm unable to imagine what it's going to look like and draw that so it's a lot of trial and error until I get it right.
I'd say that the way I think is that I think in words, not pictures. So when somebody says "imagine an apple" or something I able to describe the apple but only because I know what an apple looks like; I'm still not able to see it at all.
I have been aphantasic all my life though I do dream perfectly well. I am not good at face recognition or following verbal map directions.. It would be nice to see mental image pictures
but I can't say I feel deprived..
Professor Joel Pearson at the University of New South Wales is running an online study of aphantasia.
Such a good good excellent interview!!! So fascinating!! I really enjoy your videos since I discovered your channel. Thank you to both of you! :)
Great video. I am 2 on the scale my images are grey and lack detail, but I can walk the streets in local neighbourhood, just with no detail. I do have a good memory for places, but they are buried and only triggered by being there. I dream without images.
I had no idea people actually see things, I thought it was a metaphor. I think I'm a 1 or 2 because I see images for maybe less than a second (if I do at all, I'm not sure what seeing images is like so I don't know) and I do have images in my dreams most of the time.
Yes I have this, makes it even harder that I’m trying to be an artist 😂. I really can’t draw from imagination because I don’t really have one where you can see 3d images. It’s so frustrating. I still have. A thought for a drawing, but I don’t really see it. I go to draw it and it looks like a kids done it because I don’t have any picture in my head of what it should look like. There’s no details. I have to constantly have reference pictures up of specific things to even grasp drawing all together. It’s annoying and it’s hard when other people have such great imaginations and can make it come to life so fast, but I just tell myself I create in a different way and it’s worked well so far. When you mentioned the picture of a field with a horse I can think of a field in a horse but I don’t see it. If you asked me what direction and what season I don’t see that either but I can just pick one randomly and think it. Idk if that makes sense. I feel like I also just see a lot of words.
I think I'm a 10 on the mind's eye scale. I remember as a child asking my stepmom, "how come in movies they always have the character talking to themselves in their head when that's not how it really is?" She was blown away that I didn't have words in my head and I was blown away that other people did. I think in pictures, very vivid pictures. It causes me to be great at art and navigating a city because I can picture it all. But when it comes to things like talking or doing mental math, I suck so bad. I'm 24 and still count on my fingers because I can't see the numbers in my head. In conversation I have to translate the person's words into pictures, then translate my response pictures thought back into words. It's quite frustrating because I take forever to get my message across. It's a miracle when I can accurately say what I mean.
Anyone else have this experience?
I do have aphantasia. I also have vivid dreams with moving images. My aphantasia is a 5 I cannot see anything in my minds eye. I too have words.
I’ve tried writing in the past and I always struggled to write visual imagery. I thought because I enjoyed reading I must have a fine minds eye, but when I started trying to write I realized everything I tried to visualize was just black. I could write things, but I couldn’t picture them. So I would see two people, no real detail to them, in a blank space, a black void and maybe I could picture whatever was actively being described like a motion, but generally those details were less important to me than the intellectual give and take, the words, etc. So maybe I have no minds eye, or it’s just weak. I have never put much thought besides that I must have a good imagination because I enjoy reading.
Edit: sometimes though I think I can picture something. It depends on what it is. The more technical something is or the more familiar I am with something the more I can “picture” that something. It’s hard to know because I can never really know what someone else experiences and what’s normal.
As an artist, I’d say this is not something I have. Maybe the opposite. I think I’d be way less stressed out if I didn’t see every thought as a movie or almost as a memory or something that is happening or will happen. Inevitable, catastrophising. If that is the case with your friend, maybe I could have some of her word logic brain to balance mine out? I’d offer to trade some, but honestly no one wants whatever is going on in here 🧏🏽♀️ right now!
I have aphantasia, oddly enough I can dream and I have pictures. I'm currently trying to learn to lucid dream. I love photography, but photography only goes so far with me. I love polaroid cameras and print outs because it reminds me of the time. I could never see what happened in my head, but I could tell you things that happened. I never forget a face. Off topic, but I have an amazing inner monolog. I could talk to myself for hours. Feel free to ask me any questions, I'd love to help.
10:11 Yeeeessss! I also recognize voices, not faces!
I like this video, I think I am on the very low end of this scale also. I don't really create images in my head, I usually need a lot of information to imagine something. When I do have to think of an image it usually in black and white until I am told to imagine with a certain detail. I'm better at constructing something out of things that already exist rather than imagining something new.
Fortunately I am blessed with a quite vivid mind's eye which is quite handy when building and modifying and scratchbuilding models and miniatures. (Well, it can be rather less of a blessing when it and the cPTSD cross paths ...)
I recently discovered I have aphantasia, probably a 2/3 out of 10. My son is aspy, and probably my mother was and my dad is plus he has hyperphantasia so he can see things so clearly that a memory gives him anxiety of being trapped in it forever. So my discovery was unsettling because I’m an aspiring artist but I’ve come to realize that all of my art is essentially a doodle. I have little idea where it will go when I start out as I don’t see much of an image in my head.
she's so lovely!
Actually, this video makes me believe I got misdiagnosed. I don`t see pictures, but I know what they would look like.
I have the same issue where I can't really see the image very well, especially if I try even harder to see it. Like when you ask how many legs are on the horse, I know there are legs there but I can't really tell how many I'm seeing.
I would like more video conversation with her. Thank you
Wait...
People can actually "see" things when you imagine them?
I can conceptualize it, but I don't think I've ever been able to "see" things.
Huh. How interesting.
My horse trampled a bunch of people to death and ended up getting shot. There was so much blood all over the golden wheat. Minds are weird things.
interesting! i feel this way about synesthesia, like how do numbers and letters have a color to them? i can't comprehend it, i find it fascinating and that brain is attractive to me, my favorite, i love how broad it is.
I totally have this. This is totally me too
Such a friendly, wise woman! (y) I wish she lived in the neighbourghood, I would definitely ask her over for a coffee or tea. :D