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Jimmy Carr's 'cure' for toxic masculinity | LBC
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- Published on Mar 13, 2026
- During his interview with Tom Swarbrick, Jimmy Carr got onto the topic of masculinity.
Jimmy believes 'toxic masculinity' exists, but 'the cure is simple'.
In this segment of his interview with Tom, Jimmy went from cowboy movies, to Scott Galloway, to Andrew Tate.
Listen to the full show on the all-new LBC App: app.af.lbc.co....
#jimmycarr #men #masculinity #scottgalloway #gender #news #politics #LBC
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The world needs more Aragorn
And more Galadriel.
Yes, exactly!
@martynblackburn9632 I do agree. She resists the ring and helps Frodo.
Galadriel is awesome.
But so are the male role models.
What’s wrong with Gandalf??? Age discrimination in the purest form….😂🧙🏼♂️
Youth centres, sports clubs, junior book clubs, tea rooms, libraries, anime and pizza evenings...
With that giant bag of Saudi money, he could fund half of these programs by himself.
@SPAMDAGGER22 Somebody had to say it.
Hobbies, hobbies, hobbies.
I'm sure Farage takes Saudi money too. They all do. We need real change. Kids need guidance but it depends on who's doing that guidance
@SPAMDAGGER22 Yeah and if you take that Saudi money can you really say you care about the rights of women because the Saudis don't. I think Jimmy Carr sold his soul long ago for a buck so he could continue to get face lifts and hair plugs. I wouldn't say Jimmy Carr is any authority on moral issues in fact I'd say he's the reverse.
Masculinity isn't toxic, toxic masculinity is toxic. The clue is in the adjective.
Said it much better than I was thinking. If young men are frustrated with women in their peer group because of social media and the failure of public education that's okay. The way out is to educate yourself, teach yourself how to think and solve problems. I really think dating sites are awful. It treats people like cattle. I would love to see it all banned.
Toxic masculinity isn't masculine
@shaunvdukeThe toxicity comes from misguided ideas of what it means to be a man or what being a man should be about, ergo it's masculine.
IMO the toxicity comes from extremism. Masculinity taken to extremes makes it toxic. For example, It's alright to have dating preferences but toxic masculinity celebrity Andrew Tate states that he would never date woman with a job.
@rhythmace1its just BS.
And if you go back to the films referenced by Jimmy Carr, the posturing blowhards, the Andrew Tate/Wes Watson types always lose and never get the girl.
Underneath they are scared and overcompensating. It's not manly.
Replace narcissism and greed with courtesy, integrity and honourable behaviour.
The cure to toxic masculinity is masculinity. There is nothing manly about promoting your self worth by running down others.
Can someone please define “healthy” masculinity beside simply describing responsibility and empathy?
LOL
You are ALL being hilarious trying to defend the concept of masculinity
@kiwisteve6598 look at how people were in the 1800s. The weak got oppressed while the strong ruled.
I love it.
@tommasoprevedello7593
What is wrong with masculinity or femininity for that matter? Why would they need to be defended?
Speak softy and carry a big stick and you will go far
He's absolutely right about 'cheap dopamine hits' and I say that as someone who spends too much time on RUclips. It's only through leaving your bubble and putting yourself out of your comfort zone that your life will improve.
We call that "Touching Grass"
“Stop thinking about what you want and start thinking about what you have to offer” was a great line
But it's called "the *comfort* zone"! Why would I want to leave it? 😩
OK, OK, I'll try... 😞
I do wonder how much of that is the cost and social aspect. Taking video games as an example, I know a bunch of lads who play online on console 3 nights a week. Change that to going out for a pint and a meal, you’re probably looking at £100 a week per person.
they're missing a bigger picture... if you don't love yourself first you won't truly love anyone else. And if you don't know yourself first the world will only confuse you.
One of the biggest reasons most people socialize or are looking for a relationship is because they don't know themselves, thus they can't stand to be by themselves, 'cuz when they're alone they start feeling lonely and desperate. Too many relationships are born out of desperation masked as infatuation... it should be you first, the world afterwards... then you won't feel the need to force anything and life will arrange itself naturally. \o/
Not just children, but increasingly working class folks are being PRICED out of the real world and forced to socialize more in digital spaces. Dinner and a movie costs a lot more than stream and chat over Discord.
I remember when going to the movies was the cheap thing to do. Tickets were like $5 so it was an easy night out that didn’t break the bank. Now it costs me almost $50 for two tickets then another 30-40 for a combo depending. So I’m at almost $100 for a movie and popcorn. Not to mention if you are out on a date and do the classic dinner and a movie. You’re looking at potentially a few hundred dollars 😂
@Iwontreadyourreply My parents are in their 80s, when they were young it was dirt cheap to go to the pictures. Age 15 my dad delivered meat for the butcher (on a push bike), when he'd finished his rounds on a Saturday morning he'd buy a ticket for around 50p but you could just stay and watch film after film. He used to love watching all the Westerns. Then Saturday evening he's take my mum on a date to the pictures too. Like you say, if you did that today you'd be well into hundreds of pounds.
and this pricing out is the main cause of the mental health crisis. And the hypocrisy surrounding the "effort" to resolve this crisis shows that politicians would rather blame the victim than actually lose money to solve the problem.
Define "working class", because in Western Europe and the UK -- as in, LBC's audience -- the working class hasn't existed for some time.
We're all varying degrees of middle class now.
The issue isn't "being priced out" of things, it's that digital stuff has immediacy, for a generation that never learnt patience.
@user49917 Politicians aren't the economy and the corporations. Politicians can't control prices. But you are on the money with the being priced out mental health crisis. And then the world's chief example of a leader is an absolute demon of an example.
I’m 47 and still a very big gamer. The difference for me is that I came up in an era where that was still social interaction. We couldn’t play NBA Jam and Street Fighter 2 online. Friends had to come over, or we had fun as a group walking to the arcade. I met a high school girlfriend at the arcade. She worked there.
I’m a tad younger than you but I still got the tail end of that era of gaming and checked out when the industry was pushing everything online. We didn’t have an arcade anymore by the time I was old enough to go myself but some of my best memories growing up as a young teen were getting the boys together in summer and playing halo or fifa on two tvs.
I'm even older than you, and I'm still very much into video games, as I have been since the 80s. Yes, I absolutely feel that they can be played too much, but I also feel they have a very valuable place for mental training and exercise, and often as social spaces too. Not all games, by any means, but definitely many particular, well-made titles. I really notice things after playing certain challenging games that my mind will feel clearer and sharper, which is very helpful at my age for keeping the cobwebs at bay.
Halo LAN parties!
Street Fighter 2 is where it was at, I'm 35 and every Friday me and 4 mates have a gaming session at someones house, Street Fighter, Mario Kart, Smash Bros. Eating food and cracking jokes and being there for each other.
In person interaction is so necessary.
@D-YBrewsI miss them badly
"Our freedom will be given away by us." 1000% correct, Sir.
This is a topic discussed extensively by the German philosopher Byung-Chul Han. Sadly he's not well known in North America.
Orwell and Huxley are talking about different points in time. First it's Brave New World and eventually we'll end up in 1984.
You cant give the government that much freedom and expect them not to abuse it. They're _already_ abusing it. People are _already_ being arrested for thought crime. That's not going to get better it's going to get much, much worse.
@anon4854Stop blaming the government for our own failings. The government isn't the big bad boogieman you're pretending it is
@anon4854And literally nobody is being arrested for thought crime
@clon76 >And literally nobody is being arrested for thought crime
Over 13k people were arrested for speech related offences in 2024 alone.
A disturbing number of those arrests were for "offensive speech" i.e. thought crime
Wow.....jimmy carr teally hits the nailon the head in this interview ...
I liked Jimmy years ago when he was asked at a show about a TV program or movie and he said "I read books". EXACTLY what people don't do enough these days. I read every day a couple hours.
@chrispile3878 Yeah, I sometimes SAY that too.
Toxic masculinity is a term i came across in the 1990s. It was always considered that toxic masculinity was a distortion of true masculinity.. A real masculine man takes care of things properly. For instance he takes himself to the doctor if he notices a possible health problem. He uses his strength to help not to harm. He takes up space in such a way that others feel supported not oppressed. He knows himself and is well regulated emotionally.
True masculine equals looking after people and things = service in a manly way.. Toxic masculinity is men not taking care as they should.
Toxic masculinity is distortion of what masculinity should be.
Exactly! A guardian, not an oppressor. Same strength, different motivation.
So women shouldn't go to the doctor? Weird. (You're just describing adulthood)
@ScreamStarr no I think he is saying that in the western culture the idea of appearing weak (like going to the doctor) is very much ingrained into the culture. You fall down and hurt yourself and some says, oh it's not that bad, don't be a baby, you want to be a man you have to look past pain. This constant bombardment of comments like that, makes it seem like going to the doctor is a sign of weakness. Girls are typically exposed to other types of emotional abuse that lead to other behaviors but rarely about being tough. At least that's how I interpreted his comment.
to me, toxic masculinity is simply: the way men act when they're insecure. Of course you're a big tough guy, that's why you mention it so much, etc etc. Like Andrew Tate flexing online about how many cars he owns. Maybe Daddy should have hugged him a bit more, he wouldn't need to impress strangers online...
@jakattak2403 women chose their partner just like any other species, they want a strong man. no species ever wants a weak and unhealthy partner. so there is a point to not look weak by not being whiny. and this is not a western thing. this is inprinted on so many different cultures, because its more a part of biology (yeah its mostly around the world not about not going to the doctor, but for example not whining about pain and so on)
@D-YBrews this is not insecurity! andrew tate showing of his cars is because women look for strong man. so they often look how wealthy you are, as a sign of being strong and powerfull. if you want sto see weak insecure man, look at the guys who can`t even talk to a women. or play big mouth with nothing behind it. toxic masculinity isn`t a real thing. thats why the concept is so wacky and different everywhere
It is refreshing for this 70 year old Gentleman who learned how to be a gentleman of his father, to hear this conversation! They are so right!
being a gentelman is an old outdated way of cultural norms of manhood. today, you won`t succed anywhere with this and defently not succed with women. times changed, culture changed
@7o73o Wrong. My 23-year-old son and his friends are exactly that - gentlemen. And they are successful both at work and in their dating lives. Sure, times and culture have changed, but some qualities - such as behaving like a gentleman - live on. What is the downside?
@7o73onope
@7o73o Farcically incorrect. Being a "gentleman" is beyond current "trends" and the lowest common accepted behavior - it is about developing a set of standards and accepting the world as it is. A genuine gentleman knows dealing with others honestly and sincerely isn't going to change the world or anyone in it, being honest with others is about upholding a standard of your own behavior without regard to if the world accepts less.
I don't think he is right at all. He is out of touch
He's a smart cookie that one .
"Stop asking what you want. Start asking what you have to offer."
Wise man right here.
The problem is that even if you have something to offer, and someone claims to want that, they will still reject you _purely out of spite_ because they crave power over others more than anything else.
This is a borderline facebook quote and doesn't work for most people in late stage capitalism if you're paying attention to the news. A CEO can gamble their company's future for short term profits and throw you under the bus for their mistakes when their gamble fails, to cover their arses and recoup funds, irrespective of what you 'have to offer'. It's happening everywhere right now.
Jimmy is funny but this is also coming from a person who got heat over millions in tax evasion and I wouldn't be taking life advice from him.
just don't say that to a woman or it's misogynist.
@ibendover4817 What one “has to offer” isn’t always financial.
@ibendover4817 "Late stage capitalism keeps me from being a better person, waah!"
3:47 Thank you, I’ve been saying this since I read both those books in high school!
Gentleman and Mensch. Nailed it.
Hey Andrew, How are you doing right now
Whats "Mensch"?
@anthonyml7it’s Yiddish; literally meaning a person of integrity and honor. It may be my mistake, but I’ve also taken the meaning to include being a person who lifts those around them, e.g., the star player that regularly talks to the newbies giving them tips and encouragement
@TheBiggerNoiseit’s actually just German
@JK-rt4jvinteresting. All the online sources indicated etymology that starts with Yiddish, but I can’t claim any personal authoritative knowledge. Languages are murky things.
Very interesting to hear Jimmy speak.
Even more interesting when laughs lol
The son of a friend is in his early twenties and never had a girlfriend even though he’d love to have one. He’s a decent bloke but he’s awkward around young women and I get the impression he’s terrified of the “knock back”. As Jimmy alluded to though, he doesn’t have a close circle of friends, so he’s probably onto something there.
I'm the old, female version of your friend's son. For reasons that I understand now but didn't at the time. Fact is, I'm just fine. It's ok to be single. People need to get over the idea that you need someone else to validate you.
@jonnylumberjack6223I didn’t need validation from my now wife, however I wanted/needed🤷♂️to have a lady to share my life with. Had I remained single though I’d still be here having not done anything drastic.
Newsflash: we were ALL terrified of the knock back. It's what made a positive response so special.
Also: if you are sitting in your room, alone, have no friends and no life outside, what exactly do you have to offer a prospective romantic partner? You need to get a life before you can share one.
I genuinely think that a lot of men's problems would be solved if they just saw women as other people and talked to them. Instead of something like a trophy to be won.
He's likely to get rejected 99/100 times though, because alot of women are chatting to their "dream" man on some dating app, so why would the settle for an average guy in real life, he would quite possibly be treated as a creep/threat for just for approaching a woman in real life. Theres a statistic that 80% of women are only interested in talking to %20 of men on dating apps. So 80% of young men are never going to get a date online and its often seen as creepy to approach women in real life unless you happen to be very attractive. There is also a chance that they wont just get rejected but that rejection will then get posted to social media for all to see. I'm not saying that it's impossible to approach a woman, its just much harder than it used to be.
I'm as individualistic and introvert as it goes. Yet the older I get, the more I realize how I was forged by my early life friends. We were a group with very diverse characters and helped each other grow into functional adults. And I don't think you get that in Fortnite or Tiktok.
nobody lives only through tiktok and fortnite...
Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame.
This was an unexpectedly smart and insightful video
It isn't unexpected when Jimmy says something smart. The son of smart, successful people, 11-plus, grammar school, straight As at A-Level, Cambridge, a First, successful career before comedy...
I only knew him from Would I Lie to You. I'm very impressed with his combination of intelligence and groundedness.
Yes, I am also surprised, very true comments. Very insightful as the comment says.
@xcx8646 When you consider at times his comedy can be deeply offensive and disgusting, it IS unexpected. When you challenge him though, he can't take it and chucks people out of his gigs (see some of his stuff on here,doesn't always happen but when it does,it's seriously hypocritical).
@markc8956 He throws out people who cause trouble, not hecklers per se. People have paid to watch a show and it can't be hijacked. After a point a person has used up their warnings.
And a lot of adult comedy is offensive and disgusting. You need to separate the joke from beliefs or calls to act. Just as you have to with fiction, computer games and everything else. Fortunately most adults are capable of understanding the difference.
please more of this.
Was in the local gym yesterday, really busy as they've recently renovated.
Started getting annoyed by these to young lads who were talking noisily to two young ladies in the corner.
An hour later they were still at it.
Finished my workout, they're the only ones left in the gym and they're still standing talking.
And after watching this I'm thinking: They all went to the gym for one purpose and they achieved that purpose, I should be happy for them. The gym is the new pub but with better lighting and no mind altering chemicals.
If they were yapping while on the treadmill or stationary bike, it would've been passable to me.
There need to be more 3rd spaces in general.
It is annoying when the gym is full at 20:00 on a Friday or Saturday night. I will bring the weights to the empty pubs. :D
If there are no mind, and body altering drugs at your gym.....I no believe
"No mind altering chemicals"
Bro, people (especially young men) are taking WAY worse stuff at the gym than the pub 😂. Its absolutely exploded over the last 5ish years. Type something like SARMs or Peptides into youtube and watch what comes up.
“Whatever happened to Gary Cooper? The strong silent type”
Whatever happened there...
The strong silent type is doing just fine. The emotionally crippled sociopath like Tony gets whacked in a Jersey diner eating onion rings while nostalgically listening to Journey.
@oilybohunkhe never had the makings of a Western Hero
He died in 1962
Got replaced with the loud dumb type.
The end was really thought provoking.
They are literally still making Rocky movies.
Came here to say that
"Creed" but yes, same format.
Haven't there also been plenty of masculine superhero, fast and furious, Jason Statham, Equaliser, James Bond, Mission Impossible films etc? Perhaps not the right sort of films and not frequent enough, to get a bit 'no true scotsman' about it.
@TearTheRoof0ffvery watered down male characters
Superhero movies too, which are just modern day equivalents to cowboy movies.
In the short Mob and cowboy films have just been replaced by competitive online shooters ie Call of Duty / Battlefield / Arc Raiders
No, streaming actually and even then it's more and worse then that sadly
Lol no.
Not everyone does that.
And ironically plenty of women play online games like Fortnite.
I used to play games all the time in my youth, but now I'm only 40 and I just find it all so samey and not worth the bother.
In June for the first time in my life I upgraded my GPU not for games but for doing 3D rendering work on my PC 😂
Arc Rairders is one of the most cooperative online communities currently out there.
Rocky wouldn't be rocky without Adrian
Funny that he mentions Rocky. Because everyone who watches it says first what a great love story it is.
@rabbitandcrow That's right. It wasn't a sports movie. It was a solid drama which had elements of sport. It was first and foremost a story of two lost could coming together and becoming stronger together than what they ever could being alone.
He also wouldn't be Rocky without Apollo.
@Gavinschaber0513 ok but the bromance didn't happen until the 3rd film
@rickyhamilton2847 I agree.
This is so on point. Nothing exists in a vacuum, especially not a person, their psyche, their identity.
So many factors are at play here. Consider how car dependency and sub-urbanism contributes to lack of socialization. Jimmy mentions living from home and getting things delivered and not going out with friends. If you live in a suburban neighborhood where the zoning law prohibits building anything else beside single family homes, and there is no public transit to get you anywhere so you can't (or, let's be honest, more like shouldn't) drive to town for a few drinks, then of course you're at home isolated, of course you get everything delivered. If you live in a vibrant town or city with public spaces, shops and bars within walking distance, and functioning public transit, your social life is likely to be much more active. The concept of just hanging out, going for a coffee or a beer, talking to strangers on a bench, or interacting with staff at various shops, is becoming more and more foreign to people living in car-dependent neighborhoods. And I'm just talking about adults here. If you're a kid who can't drive and your parent doesn't shuttle you around everywhere, you're stuck at home.
Everyone needs to learn to deal with "no". The world doesn't give you everything you want. Society is so worried about hurting children's feelings. Dealing with hurt feelings is part of life.
Agree!! A coworker of mine is pregnant with her first child. At our office baby shower I told her that, though I dont have kids, I do have 20 years of teaching experience and the best thing she can do for her kid is to let them struggle. Let them fail. They have to learn how to solve things on their own, how to cope with frustration, and how to not give up when they dont get things right the first time.
"Protecting" kids from these things stunts their growth.
It's the same with social interactions. Kids have to be able to cope with feeling awkward or getting rejected so they aren't crushed when things dont go their way. Kids need to learn to not take personally things that aren't personal, and they need to have a strong enough sense of self that someone else's opinion of them can be instructive rather than damaging.
@TobiasTurkeltonunfortunately, lots of cultures stagnate their children's growth by controlling every aspect of their upbringing. That's why when they fail at something they fall hard. I know this from experience and it's taken me so long to overcome it and learn to think for myself.
There's hurting children's feelings, and then there's traumatizing them when no one will stand up for them as they're being bullied by other children who NEEDS to have THEIR emotions harmed.
@TobiasTurkelton Oh, dear. A country where they have "office baby showers" instead of proper paid maternity leave...
@TobiasTurkelton The problem with being awkward or getting rejected in todays society is that you can easily be caught on someones phone and then you're an international laughingstock overnight. Kids and teenagers have to deal with that anxiety every day.
So, the cost of failing in those social interactions is exponentially more than previous generations had to deal with. It's no wonder young people are opting out.
3:24 Australia has an age old tradition of surviving the local flora and fauna as a childhood experience. Not to be sneezed at.
Never trust any rich person who says people or businesses shouldn't pay tax. They are interested in themselves not society. Who pays for roads, police, healthcare, schools and other public services?
Businesses shouldn't pay tax because businesses don't pay tax. they collect it. every time someone jacks the tax up on a business, that business passes it straight on to the customer. so stop asking politicians to jack up tax on business - you are just hurting the little guy.
@politenessman3901pls stop. This is so dumb on many levels.
@politenessman3901I repeat, who pays for public services then? Try a country with no police, see how that goes!
@johnhingley3567 You do. via direct taxes and the indirect taxes built into your purchases (ie taxes levied on supermarkets car companies etc etc).
@politenessman3901 yes, that's already been acknowledged. the question is: is that a bad thing? is taxation bad when it pays for necessary things? and without relying on fear-based logic, the question is then: why? you seem to be implying that taxes are bad because they get passed along. ok. and? what's wrong with that?
Respect. Great convo. Which is short for conversation.
Brilliant segment…so great to see focus on solutions vs vilifying. We need more of this.
Schools should teach kids how to manage being rejected, since it’s guaranteed to happen at some point. Not everyone has the right kind of friends or role models to show them the way. I don’t take myself so seriously now, but when you’re young it takes very little to knock you back several steps.
I don’t feel most people understand the onslaught via these social media types is what’s destroying our so called lost British culture
Can you be more specific?
I’d hate to be a teenager these days, everything is so expensive you wouldn’t be able to do anything.
In my teens, we’d go to College / Uni then go to the pub, get a pizza for £4, do a pub quiz then go to the student union for £1 a drink.
Even out with student nights I could meet friends go to the pub then go to a club and get a taxi home for about £30, and could do that twice a week easily funded by a weekend job.
There were people who couldn’t afford that even though you could and found other ways. Same today.
I am posting this from my bedroom. I have 8 teenagers downstairs - 4 boys, 4 girls and I’m just giving them a space where they can chill on a Sunday. They need a safe space where they can just be teenagers. It’s so important in their growth.
Then we could do same just go and look for cheaper places to drink abd eat ! We shared a chippy because we couldn't afford one of our own,,,it's called life😮
Comparing student life to ordinary adult life isn't fair.
Businesses discount student stuff all the time.
Drugs are cheap. Tattoos are cheap. They're so cheap that every young person seem to do them.
Recently, a friend of mine asked me to go for a coffee. I've been sober for over ten months. I am very glad I went as I had forgotten how great it was to connect in a social space that wasn't the internet. The next one, we are bringing more buds!
Thanks guys! This short clip provided insight and action-very helpful for all of us navigate.
When I was in High School, I asked a girl out, and she said "No, and please don't ask me again.".
I was devastated - for a moment. But then I quickly realized it was a much better answer than "Let's just be friends", or something similar that she didn't mean. Her answer was honest, and left no room for misinterpretation. My devastation was brief and allowed me to move on quickly. I am forever grateful to her for that.
Rejection isn't the end of the world (even though it feels like it). Throw a fit, and you embarrass yourself. Take it with grace, and you are the winner. This shows confidence and maturity, which is attractive to people. "Be a gentleman, and a mensch". Well said, Jimmy Carr...
I spent years trying to get women, finally cracked it and discovered that I didn't like 90% of the women I got to know.
Dont idolise them. If you go into it remembering this, it gets a whole lot easier.
@A-raving-lunatic and that's exactly the problem. You want them as if they were things, not even considering their personalities.
Its not "toxic masculinity," its really toxic "over compensating" masculinity.
that too.. anyone that thinks Andrew Tate is what man should be is off their head
@aceohare007But some of what he says is true. You can't dismiss it all. James O'Brien is also not how men should be but some of what he says we should. You get the drift?
@ibexdnb2879 A stopped watch.
That's no reflection on WHO he though.
...which is toxic masculinity.
I’ve always seen toxic masculinity as insecurities about their own masculinity, so they try to over compensate.
Anyone who is secure in their own masculinity doesn’t need to constantly be telling everyone they’re an alpha male. They’re seeking affirmation from others.
I think the boys need to read
Y'all made 🌽 out of literature
great chat
Brilliant! I've been saying the exact same thing about films.
What would make a start is locking the Tate’s up for at least some of their crimes.
They haven't been convicted of anything.
@GrizwaldTheDog indeed, but there are cases pending.
@GrizwaldTheDog Doesn't mean they are not guilty -- especially when they brag about said crimes, knowing their connections will protect them.
Until someone pardons them 🙄
What, the crimes that theres no evidence for? Do you not think if there were crimes committed they would be in prison already given how much the MSM and the left hate them?
Feminists never said that masculinity is toxic per se, they are saying that there’s a toxic version of masculinity just as there’s a healthy version of masculinity. That’s it
I don't see how could anyone understand it differently.
Oh some said exactly that
@fecnde
No
I mean for some feminists there is no 'natural' masculine behavior per se, they look at things through a cultural and sociological lense mostly
In the literature that is as such, at least most of the time, however put into practice there is a definite trouble with populist feminism and accurately supporting young men, particularly within education. Male role models don't exist as much as they used to. Parents are forced to work longer hours giving them less time with their children, leading to role models shifting into school and care. and with a deficit in male teachers, and an abundance of access to media, young boys will idealise those that appear. Men like Andrew tate don't win the eyes of young boys and young men because they're correct, or some inherent toxicity within these young people, but instead simply because they're loud and accessible.
Toxic masculinity is simply when toxic traits are expressed by men. Trying to define it as a cultural movement is, in my opinion a misdiagnosis. Instead it should be viewed as a moral failing to counteract negative role models in the lives of young people. Positive role models, education and social and mental health networks can significantly help with this. Boys will naturally seek men out as role models because they connect with them better than they do with women, the same goes for girls. Whether its hormonal, cultural or simply asthetic, young lads will better recieve social lessons from male role models than female ones as girls will better recieve social lessons from male role models.
Theres also a thing to be said about hope and practical hope, where young lads are struggling with the education system, likely due to high stress indoors environments that that restrict physical expressions of activity.
My biggest message to my four children was that the only thing worth your time, energy and love is other people.
That's nice, but I'd also add that for me, it's also necessary to add the dog, the garden, and the motorcycles😁
@motosnapeyes! Top comment, totally agree👍
A cute message, but once you are old those other people won't be coming to spend time with you anymore.
If you aren't happy with yourself when you are young then you will be A1 f**ked when you get older and can't go anywhere you please anymore.
Yes but also include yourself in that list. It is no fun to turn into a servant of others. Also other people come and go. Friends, co-workers sometimes spouses or even your kids and you'll might not see them again. So you need to live for yourself too and hopefully be content.
What an awful message
What a fresh breath of air in increasing suffocating world!
"Dispersed Identity" is a very interesting concept. I hadn't heard that one before but it definitely makes sense
"You are who you are with other people in your life. And if you don't like who you are, you need to change those people."
What a great way of putting that.
Toxic masculinity is not the same as masculinity. Toxic masculinity is, by definition, a different, toxic-so to speak-form of masculinity.
Definitely no doubt as Jimmy has just said masculinity is just being gentleman letting others like women and children and older people onto a bus
Helping someone with a heavy bag too they're car if it's too heavy for them or helping a pal out too Deal with a breakup it's purely down to being respectful
So just call it toxic or bad behaviour
@thrilla72 we can’t, because bad actors are claiming it to be just masculinity. So we have to clarify that they are performing a warped idea of it.
Can you define masculinity in a way that is a) not toxic and b) not behaviors that also apply to women?
I usually hear men describe masculinity as courage, leadership, honor, providing for others - things that are also positive characteristics of women so why should they be considered masculine? Positive adult traits are neither masculine nor feminine, and claiming them for men implies that they are not natural for women which is an insult to women. Insulting women is a toxic trait.
@thrilla72its the same thing in the other side - there's feminism and then there's toxic feminism
I’d suggest that any film with Jason Statham, Gerard Butler or any James Bond movie is the modern Western.
Those are action movies, which existed alongside westerns and mob movies. Action movies didn't replace them.
So close to understanding that the issue is lack of third places....
„You can’t beat your environment“ so much truth, change your habitat- the world you live in defines you, but you can define your world
"Stop asking for what you want, and start asking for what you can offer"
I say this is sage advise for everyone, not just young men
I think JFK said it first.
Actually. Sometimes wondering what you want and why you want it is still important in life.
@okgoogleplay3500 Agreed.
Particularly in relationships.
So many failed relationships are because people aren't honest about what they want and/or need from the outset.
And in order to communicate what you want or need, you need to ask yourself those questions and figure it out.
On social isolation, I think the car is the big player here. There was a time when most of us left the house and stood at the bus stop. You'd see the same person from your area at the same time 5 days a week. You would give a nod in their direction, and being British you'd usually have to wait until some sort of event like snow before striking a conversation but at some point over time it did happen. Now most of us walk 5 steps to the car and don't know the people living 3 doors away. None of us are talking to each other, not even a smile and a hello.
Even for the bus crowd, there are smartphones now blocking most interactions. Most casual conversations are prevented by that.
I think that part of the blame is parents not teaching their children that life is full of rejection. But it's temporary and you just move forward in your life and try, try again. Just not with the same person/job/etc. Too many parents raised their children telling them how unique and special they are and how the world is there for the taking. But they never actually teach those kids HOW. Schools giving "participation awards" has also not helped, and these kids don't learn the value of honest competition and the experience of losing (and thus how to cope with it) and worse, they expect the rest of life to be the same. It's not. A lack of learning how to cope with rejection is why so many young peeps today become obsessed with the target of their infatuation.
05:15 A dispersed identity is a really clever thought. Bravo.
Hit the nail on the head with social isolation and moderation which comes from being accountable to others
I always liked the quote that "men and women are equal, not identical."
That nonsense is why people go to these toxic influencers.
I think part of it is what is discussed. Another part is media and stories. Kids these days don't engage with stories as much. They don't read about heroes and virtues. They don't bother experiencing moral and cautionary tales, and they don't learn from the mistakes of others. All they want to do is watch streamers, and influencers who inevitably continue the decay of honour. If anything, video games are one of the best chances they have for that part of their growth. The problem is, online gaming tends to not have that kind of narrative.
Cant wait for the lawyers to validate that logo
I think Jimmy Carr is bang on there. 100%. We cannot fix ourselves by ourselves. That is why it is so important that you turn up for other people.
I'd never even heard that idea expressed before, but it does make a lot of sense.
That lkast few sentences, their absolute gold! This is so true. I had to leave certain people behind to leave certain behaviors and thoughts behind. There are just people that will drag you down. Which doesn't mean those people were bad or toxic, but there are just group dynamics that will bring out the worst in people. And then there are those that will just drag you down because they're mierable people. Anyway, Trying to change yourself without changing your environment is simply impossible. Just try to stop smoking when all your friends that you hang out every day smoke all the time....
Simple solutions to complex problems. Does he vote Reform by any chance?
Haha Trust Martyn to slip his disdain for Reform in. Get a grip. 😂
wow. didn't expect to be this impressed. 🤯
The Orwell vs Huxley comparison is so on point.
One more thing, men need to learn how to feel, and social accept what they feel. Is not so hard if you get some love and compassion. One thing is people are so much up into pressent and not be..
This comment is a gross generalization, that there is absolutely no evidence that the majority of men do not know how to feel, in fact the vat majority of worldwide most certainly do know how to emotionally feel things.
Its a social problem in our society, not a "men" problem. It comes from the pressures society put on men, not men it self.
Jimmy Carr has gone up in my estimation so much, by talking about this, in this way
Mine too slightly, because it went right down in another video I watched recently. I don't know if I agree with him being wheeled out as a mid-range thinker though. Unless he says stuff I agree with. (inward LOL)
@bruce-e-bonushe’s not trying to be “funny” here
Toxic masculinity includes the idea that men are not allowed to ask for help or show emotions like crying. This contributes to the much higher suicide rate among men. Did you know that in ancient Greece, it was considered a sign of strength for a man to shed tears? Emotional expression was often tied to honor, grief, love, and loyalty, which were central masculine virtues.
Shedding tears and showing the strain of life doesn't mean a man is weak, it means they've been strong for too long.
The irony being, the people who mock men for these things are usually the ones who are victims of it. It's a projection that men put on themselves. Get over it, I've never let other people dictate how I act and if you do then you're a victim of you're own insecurity and the internet isn't going to help you out of it. I'm sick of hearing about it tbh when the guilty ones are the men crying about it.
@SplitFinn Men also can't help but let their emotions turn toxic 9 times out of 10. I've met a lot of the "Sensitive" type guys and they always use their emotions to manipulate rather than sympathise..... Call it a stereotype but that's always been my experience. Women aren't much different either, emotional people are just a drag to society and a balance is important.
@razzprince2877Emotional toughness at all costs, self-worth tied to productivity, status, or control, and viewing dependence or sadness as weakness are norms that correlate with higher suicide risk. Especially after job loss, relationship breakdown, or perceived failure.
Masculinity itself is not the problem. The real issue arises when strength is defined as silence rather than connection. This reflects the difference between healthy stoicism (resilience, calm under pressure, responsibility) and unhealthy stoicism (emotional isolation, silence, and shame around pain), the latter of which increases risk.
Men are also less likely to seek mental health care, therapy, or crisis support. Norms such as “handle it yourself,” “don’t burden others,” or “real men don’t need help” further increase the risk of harmful outcomes when distress escalates.
The made a new rocky film a few years ago
The world needs more loving dads. That's what nobody in the "manosphere" has
He said it. Spot on. Everything. Like he summarized it and said everything 🙌🏻
Jimmy always speaks so well on this topic, bravo 🙏🏻
I do not understand why people get so confused about toxic masculinity. When you learn about toxic food you don't assume all food is toxic. When you learn about toxic relationships you don't assume all relationships are toxic.
The authors of the London GLF Manifesto of 1971 took a different view:
_"Butch really is bad - the oppression of others is an essential part of the masculine gender role."_
@petretepner8027 it's 2026. 😉
Perfect.
@Hexicka Not a keen student of history, I gather...
@petretepner8027you're quoting from an obscure 54 yr old book, seriously?😂
The Barbie "image" was pushed upon women. Now the "Macho image" is being pushed upon men.
Not really, although thats partly a result of the lack of star power in Hollywood now from men and women, but in this case as it pertains to the topic, men.
It is?
If you really believe that I have a bridge in Nigeria to sell to you.
Men in Hollywood now seem to be predominantly young adult story pretty boys that have more in common with women visually than the kind of men I identify with from the movies of my youth.
Also the "macho" thing is not new - have you never seen a Clint Eastwood film?
Gallow is a fraud. He repeats like a parrot what other men before him already said and he's pretending like its his own ideas.
No it's not. You all spend too much time online lol.
@mnomadvfxwish I'd never seen an eastwood film. Thankfully I only.had to suffer through one John Wayne movie. Bullsh*t narratives, complete whitewashing of history, very basic acting. I grew up with stuff I loved too. Most of it makes me cringe now.
The idea of a dispersed identity is one that I have not heard, but is very interesting and powerful.
The cure for toxic masculinity is masculinity.
I very much agree with the idea of a dispersed identity. And a dispersed identity, albeit it can lead to accusations of not being “yourself”, is a flexibility and durability that’s incredibly healthy and makes us learn.
'If you don't like who you are change the people around you' never has a truer word been said. The majority of people are who they are to keep the people in their life around them, when they should be true to themselves and the right people will be drawn to them.
this guy is the crystallisation of the idea/fact that comedians are some of our most intelligent people
I'de much rather listen to Jimmy Carr for advise than Kier Starmer or Boris Johnson..😂
@ibexdnb2879Jimmy Carr, John Oliver, Jon Stewart
Love these guys particularly
@ibexdnb2879 There are other people you can listen to
There are a lot of terrible comedians with terrible views of masculinity. Some are the reason people like Tate are popular.
@kenelter5448 I should have qualified my post by saying right wing comedians don't exist, although there's one or two who insist they are comedians, they just aren't very funny
Being obsessed with books,art and skateboarding leaves me little time for social media , death scrolling etc. If a person treats life artistically, their brain is their heart. Oscar Wilde
Can Oscar Wilde give me a job that can support an entire family?
Because me and most men don't have that in 2025.
@AndyCooney-jd7enHomelessness is at record levels, Rent also at a record High. PRIORTY must be the vital connection between the federal minimum wage rate and the monthly rent cap being 80hrs salary at that rate. Specifics are everything.. ' life is much too important to be taken seriously. OW
@JesusSkateboardsdotnet That is not an answer to my question.
@AndyCooney-jd7ensure it is.
“You cant beat your environment.”
Dangit 🙈
I think the important bit is whether the guy's male friend group are the type who will see him get turned down and say, "Never mind, mate," or the type who will laugh at him like, "You just crashed and burned! That's so embarrassing!"
That's kind of the distinction between healthy masculinity and toxic masculinity right there, isn't it?
That becomes a rite of passage. Chances are that all of them will experience that at some time. That's the point.
That some people think that men can't socialise without drinking might be part of the problem.
He's talking about social gatherings. The pub is historically THE place for social gathering in British society, not the Church or anything else, so of course he'd mention that.
Pretending not to understand just to have something to get mad about...
@lelgazelle But its not that - you can visit the pub and not drink. The problem is too many people, especially men, in the UK associate *all* nights out with drink. That's the problem.
@MichaelGGarry THIS.... my father went to the pub every night for 20 years.. never drank a drop of alcohol... and still had a lot of mates and amazing experiences there
Thats not the way he said or meant it
I love Jimmy Carr but hes making massive, sweeping generalisations here. The real issue is society has become unaffordable to socialise in the way hes reminiscing about for most guys. A pint is like £6-£7 now. Staying indoors gaming is affordable once youve invested in the hardware. This has pushed more guys to the online world where people like Tate thrive
Does Tate generally appeal to very young guys? I mean if your in your 20s and impressed by Tate then you need to have a word with yourself.
@MarkStevens5bunfortunately yes... he does appeal to them
Social media during covid was the perfect weapon for these issues to really grow and fester.
Too bad we have to install an app to listen to the full conversation.
I just became a Jimmy Carr fan!
I wonder if he could have said that in Riad.
Riyadh?
He shuts up for the right price, just like Bill Burr.
I wonder why you have to make everything about identity politics?
not if he's interviewed in London.
@RIIVAL-HM09Whose identity the identity of the Saudi royals behind 9/11 and chopping up a US journalist with a Bonesaw?
not the person i was expecting such eloquence from on this subject
Really? This is pretty much exactly what I thought I was gonna hear. The man behind the facade is pretty great, at least, imo.
It is funny that he mentions Orwell and Huxley, but seems to have missed the message of both. They weren’t competing visions. They were two chapters of the same manual. And anyone pretending one “proved the other wrong” is missing how power actually works in the real world.
And here’s the uncomfortable bit. Most people experience both and still don’t join the dots. They’ll accept Huxley’s velvet glove right up until Orwell’s fist lands, and then act shocked, as if the warning signs weren’t blaring the whole time.
They were both right, because they were describing different phases of the same machinery.
He was saying that Orwell's is more likely. That we will entertain ourselves into submission. That seems more likely and fits with the cheap dopamine part he brought up. They can both happen of course but it seems like we are on the path to Brave New World.
@apark2131But the 'cheap' dopamine isn't there by accident nor are the far right incel pipelines. The big tech companies, our media and governments are all using these mechanisms to manipulate and harvest us to their advantage. Both things can be true. There are people and entities trying to take our power, and there are those of us who let it be taken. I don't think we should put too much blame on the individual because it's almost impossible not to be manipulated or used if you want to be online at all. Plus, as Jimmy points out, there's a lack of real life alternatives. Community facilities like libraries and youth centres are being gradually eroded and shut down. You need money for meeting up in other third spaces and people have less and less disposable income for socialising.
could you maybe express what those two things are? you never actually specified.
@apark2131 we will or we already have?
@stephbutler8704 at some point, the individual has to take action when they hear they are being manipulated. why are so many still on social media despite the constant reminders of its dangers? is it addiction? is it that pesky fear-of-death thing? or are individuals simply deciding they know best and carrying on with that ignorance?
That reminds me, I need to speak to my florist about my car issues 🙄
"You can't be your environment" That line is GREAT.
Actually, you kinda can. It is just incredibly hard.
The idea that they dont make "masculine" toxic or otherwise movies anymore is ridiculous. They still exist in media and streaming ....as a matter of fact, they are in abundance. Not to mention all the video games with make characters ..cmon...the issue is young men arent being raised up to be responsible, balanced men. Theyre being raised to play a "character" ....but life isnt a movie or tv show, things are nuanced and young are struggling with the ambiguity and nuanced nature of things
Got a few examples of these movies?
In most of today’s action movies, the guy is dumb and a woman comes to save the day! (With the exception of John wick and statham movies)
Name 3 movies from the last 10 years where a man and a woman have a fist fight and the man wins.
You can't, it doesn't happen anymore.
Movies today have small women beat up big buff dudes 100% of the time.
@AndyCooney-jd7en I'm sure there have been movies made about domestic violence in the last 10 years.
@scaredyfish😂😂😂😂
Lot of women watch serial killer documentaries
😂😂😂😂 actually never thought about that
Yes I do 😂
Young men hear all this stuff, then look at who women actually pursue and say "haha no that's obviously a lie". We go off revealed preferences, men and women both.
Survival manuals.
Phenomenal contribution from Jimmy Carr, very impressed with these observations - but he should pay his taxes
And not take Saudi money
Great book by Scott! Hug your boys, teach them that showing their emotions and having feelings is normal!
It amazes me how many people with a microphone don't know what toxic masculinity is!
Has he got a new Netflix special coming out ? he is all over social media ....
He's written a movie that is out now
If it's toxic, it isn't masculinity. It's narcissism, or some related destructive trait. Masculinity is a positive ideal to be aspired to