That is one of my favorite sayings “ You take yourself with you”. Folks always think the grass is greener except how you operate is just as important. People think if I move, if I get a new job, if I change my relationship, if I make more money. All good, just be introspective and realize your attitude is on you. Also, self discipline plays a huge roll.
I was in a management. The job was never an issue. I always went above and beyond to make sure my work is organized and on track. Just the people, and the employees are difficult to deal with. I have learned my lesson the hard way. A bit of advice from my own experience, just do your job and collect your pay check. Disregard the haters around you. I wish... I told myself this before I quit.
What if you where the sole breadwinner and had children and wife to take care of. I don't think you just would quit a job unless you have a large nest egg in place😉
I hear what the caller was saying about flexibility helping you rise to the top, but his situation is the perfect example of how you can end up somewhere you don't want to be if you're not intentional. Been there.
Thank you Dr John for your brilliant channel and advice, especially to the gentleman with issues with his family. I really liked your guidance about writing down your emotions and demanding evidence. Brilliant! Emotions are so powerful and fleeting in equal measure and they can lead to some terrible decisions if we don’t demand checks and balances on those emotions. Your advice will take my mindfulness to a higher level now and navigate myself through my own family relationships which can get a bit choppy at times where of course, one’s own emotions and reactions to them play out in the relational dynamics with certain family members. I wish your channel was around 20-25 years ago (!?) and it would have saved me a lot of trouble. But, I feel that the past was never going to be any different than how it turned out and I celebrate each moment of each day with the grace of God that I’m still here wanting the best possible life for me and my kids and people I love. I’m positively taking forward 52 years of life lessons to be the best version of myself and live out my purpose which is to use my skills and knowledge to help others. I’m learning so many lessons from your brilliant insights from your podcasts that will prepare me well for any challenges that life may throw at me again. Outstanding work Dr John and never stop what you are doing. You are helping millions of people like me. You are awesome and I salute you brother 👍👍🙏🙏
wow! i receive a precious gem of wisdom is revealed to me every time i watch this show! even when the topics are not relatable to me i still get something out of it!
I worked for the Federal Gov. and I learned, if I got caught up, they would just pile more work on me. You never catch up. My granddaughter works for an attorney, it is the same way with her. Another granddaughter is sort of in the same place in retail. The Granddaughters have had to set limits on their time.
great welcome to the respect your work life balance club. you realized that its ok to work hard and get the work done but within 40h. then go home and forget work until tomorrow.
@@asadb1990 OH, and never work for nothing. When I was working, I had a friend at another office. She was overwhelmed with work, so after hours she would do the hard stuff, on her own time. Then during the 8-5 day, she did the easy stuff. The Feds did a desk audit and downgraded her because from 8-5 she wasn't working up to her grade level, if you know what I mean. So, she took a cut in pay for trying to help. I learned from her experience. I did go to night school on my own time, but the agency paid the tuition and books.
Employee shows up early and sees the boss eventually pull up in a new Lamborghini. Employee says, “Great car boss!” Employer responds, “if you keep putting your nose to the grindstone, dedicated to the company, I can buy a new Lamborghini next year, too!”
i don't get this guy in the call. too much drama and care for a company that will kick you to the curb in a second. just do the work expected within the framework of 8h day. and anything afterwards is transferred to the next day. company will be there. he should focus on finding a new job elsewhere. and if the guy stagnates, he will be let go and most likely not have to pay the cost of the mba. and i would expect a healthy severance as well.
Not in a “toxic” environment, but I can’t advance like I want in my small family owned restaurant.. they don’t give bonuses or raises.. and he defends no raises because, “we shouldn’t be in it for the money. It should be for the people” I’m dumbfounded, but it’s a GREAT restaurant work environment, but.. no extra money to get made? Am I missing something?
From my own life experience, you are better off staying. You can't put a price on mental health and you would be surprised at the number of workplaces that *aren't* toxic. Many places are and you working in a non-toxic environment makes you richer than many Americans. If income is what you are worried about, you should think about getting a side gig or investing what you earn in something relatively safe to make up for the loss of purchasing power from inflation but believe me, there is nothing more to be desired than to go to a workplace that is not toxic. It really is that rare.
@@tacticalheadlampwithstrap3184 LOL! That was good... it’s fine dining, and I’ve worked corporate restaurants before, and feel like i was missing out on so much “experience”. More dialed in on purchasing and payroll and stuff.
If you are lucky the minimum wage will be raised, at the moment I would not leave. Give your boss a pat on the shoulder how you like the work environment, but the no raise policy is not working for you. AND tell him openly that you are in it for the money. like THEY are. Ask him if he is pro capitalism. (it means you put profit / income above else. Our whole economy is organized around it. your job is NOT charity).
its too easy to get fooled into thinking that working past 40h per week is normal. i understand respecting the relationship of employee and employer. but set boundaries early on. if you set them too late, your boss will go with the speech "hey what's going on? is something wrong. you were working so well for past while." and a bunch of shaming.
in your heart only tie yourself to god a job is just work. you do your best you grow as hard and fast as you can but dont take people too seriously, it's the lord dont rush to leave don't get offended and look to grow up and maybe out. same goes for your town if you have to move cause god is giving you opportunity trust him and dont worry. heres the secret dont get offended because what ever decisions you make when you're offended will be wrong. your trust in god keeps being offended from happening so if you are in this your trial you failing it.
too many people care beyond their job. its best to treat a job as a job. there is no job security only skill security. work will always be there tomorrow. the only person who gets to relax after finishing the work is the top boss.
The only incentive in staying on at the job is that if they end up firing him, he won’t have to pay back the money spent on his education. He should start saving ALL HE CAN, keep his CV ready to go and brace his mind to start looking for a job. But if it’s driving him crazy, then he should just get another job now for his peace of mind.
Cut back the hours, if they fire him he does not have to pay back (as far as I know he might check that out with a lawyer). he can look for other jobs in the meantime if something great comes up, he can leave and pay. If the new company wants him, maybe they would chime in ? It is NOT going to get better. And if he has a company pension - can he take that with him ? if that company goes under, is taken over they will plunder the pensions. That would be a reason to leave the company earlier.
Thats a shame on his Dad. I've seen this kind of behavior in families when the spouse is of a different nationality culture or race, and that does not make it acceptable at all and is completely ignored We should love one another his Dad is a jerk ass!
The father walks past her and actively ignores her in HER home ? Humans are deeply social creatures and ignoring / SHUNNING is the worst, and usually also the hardest to "dish out". Deloney is wrong here - the is not imagined, granddad WANTED it to be noticed that he shunned his DIL. Walks past her and intentionally looks the other way. If he is that childish he put off some other acts in the past (as the husband mentions). And it seems the parents have a history of making differences ! - most likely the grandfather did want to show the wife and he is not mature enough to adress a real or imagined slight direclty. JD also made that up that she may have overlooked him. It is common that the grandparents like the child and the grandchildren, but the in law gets the cold shoulder treatment. And now he may retaliate against her, if he wants to keep contact with son and grandchildren she is the only person he can retaliate against for the fact that his son called him out before. In his mind SHE "made his son" do that up. That theory is easily as plausible. He brought baked goods ? People often send conflicting messages, are are not all logical and consistent. Or he is extra smart and tries to have plausible deniablilty while he gets his revenge on the wife. Would work in many families, the husband would give him a pass for the insult because there is ALSO the NICE gesture. (the doughnuts are for the kids mostly). If igonring the wife (= not speaking with her, but not the intentiona passing her and looking the other way) had happened during an event with a lot of people present and it just so happened that FIL never addressed the DIL - could be coincidence, he does not know what to do with her etc. But in a crowdthe sting is not felt as much, and can escape notice. Especially OTHERS will be ignorant that he "shuns" her. So he cannot make his insult (and shunning is one, a big one) land. He cannot make a display of it how he SHUNS her.
Danny may have old wounds if there was unfairness going on while he grew up. Either way - passing your DIL in HER house no less and intentionally looking the other way is extremely immature and also spiteful. What is the hint that SHE did anything to insult her FIL (even IF, then he should not enter her home).
That is one of my favorite sayings “ You take yourself with you”. Folks always think the grass is greener except how you operate is just as important. People think if I move, if I get a new job, if I change my relationship, if I make more money. All good, just be introspective and realize your attitude is on you. Also, self discipline plays a huge roll.
Couldn’t have watched this at a more perfect time in my life. Thanks John.
Same! I’m totally guilty of being the morality police in my family, and I’ve been prone to have nervous breakdowns when I have to buckle down at work.
Drown in toxicity for $30K ? Cmon! You don’t need a radio psychologist to understand that it makes no sense.
I was in a management. The job was never an issue. I always went above and beyond to make sure my work is organized and on track. Just the people, and the employees are difficult to deal with.
I have learned my lesson the hard way.
A bit of advice from my own experience, just do your job and collect your pay check. Disregard the haters around you. I wish... I told myself this before I quit.
we're gonna talk about toxic work places... also, my boss dresses me. John is the best.
I disagree with his first advice. If a job is ruining your mental health, I would leave asap.
What if you where the sole breadwinner and had children and wife to take care of. I don't think you just would quit a job unless you have a large nest egg in place😉
I would say start looking for another job immediately, and once you find one in a similar or better salary/ benefit range, THEN you leave the job
I hear what the caller was saying about flexibility helping you rise to the top, but his situation is the perfect example of how you can end up somewhere you don't want to be if you're not intentional. Been there.
Thank you Dr John for your brilliant channel and advice, especially to the gentleman with issues with his family. I really liked your guidance about writing down your emotions and demanding evidence. Brilliant! Emotions are so powerful and fleeting in equal measure and they can lead to some terrible decisions if we don’t demand checks and balances on those emotions. Your advice will take my mindfulness to a higher level now and navigate myself through my own family relationships which can get a bit choppy at times where of course, one’s own emotions and reactions to them play out in the relational dynamics with certain family members. I wish your channel was around 20-25 years ago (!?) and it would have saved me a lot of trouble. But, I feel that the past was never going to be any different than how it turned out and I celebrate each moment of each day with the grace of God that I’m still here wanting the best possible life for me and my kids and people I love. I’m positively taking forward 52 years of life lessons to be the best version of myself and live out my purpose which is to use my skills and knowledge to help others. I’m learning so many lessons from your brilliant insights from your podcasts that will prepare me well for any challenges that life may throw at me again. Outstanding work Dr John and never stop what you are doing. You are helping millions of people like me. You are awesome and I salute you brother 👍👍🙏🙏
wow! i receive a precious gem of wisdom is revealed to me every time i watch this show! even when the topics are not relatable to me i still get something out of it!
I worked for the Federal Gov. and I learned, if I got caught up, they would just pile more work on me. You never catch up. My granddaughter works for an attorney, it is the same way with her. Another granddaughter is sort of in the same place in retail. The Granddaughters have had to set limits on their time.
great welcome to the respect your work life balance club. you realized that its ok to work hard and get the work done but within 40h. then go home and forget work until tomorrow.
@@asadb1990 OH, and never work for nothing. When I was working, I had a friend at another office. She was overwhelmed with work, so after hours she would do the hard stuff, on her own time. Then during the 8-5 day, she did the easy stuff. The Feds did a desk audit and downgraded her because from 8-5 she wasn't working up to her grade level, if you know what I mean. So, she took a cut in pay for trying to help. I learned from her experience. I did go to night school on my own time, but the agency paid the tuition and books.
Yes!! good words Dr John 🥰
OK so I just listened to the podcast and had to look the video up so I could see this shirt 👔 🤣😂
HAH! me too!
Employee shows up early and sees the boss eventually pull up in a new Lamborghini. Employee says, “Great car boss!” Employer responds, “if you keep putting your nose to the grindstone, dedicated to the company, I can buy a new Lamborghini next year, too!”
You don't leave a situation without another one lined up. Also, the grass is not always greener on the other side
i don't get this guy in the call. too much drama and care for a company that will kick you to the curb in a second. just do the work expected within the framework of 8h day. and anything afterwards is transferred to the next day. company will be there. he should focus on finding a new job elsewhere. and if the guy stagnates, he will be let go and most likely not have to pay the cost of the mba. and i would expect a healthy severance as well.
Or a whole year emergency fund
@@sobeliever1638True
The simple answer is yes
“Co-create this universe and then back-fill it.” I’m terrible at understanding statements like this.
KPMG is the worst company ever. Toxic in another level.
Lol that second caller is awful. The family police
Not in a “toxic” environment, but I can’t advance like I want in my small family owned restaurant.. they don’t give bonuses or raises.. and he defends no raises because, “we shouldn’t be in it for the money. It should be for the people”
I’m dumbfounded, but it’s a GREAT restaurant work environment, but.. no extra money to get made? Am I missing something?
You may have to leave at some point. No raises means that you will not keep up with inflation. That is what raises are for.
From my own life experience, you are better off staying. You can't put a price on mental health and you would be surprised at the number of workplaces that *aren't* toxic. Many places are and you working in a non-toxic environment makes you richer than many Americans. If income is what you are worried about, you should think about getting a side gig or investing what you earn in something relatively safe to make up for the loss of purchasing power from inflation but believe me, there is nothing more to be desired than to go to a workplace that is not toxic. It really is that rare.
I don’t carry sandwiches to a table for the money 🤣? Yeah nice try boss.
@@tacticalheadlampwithstrap3184 LOL! That was good... it’s fine dining, and I’ve worked corporate restaurants before, and feel like i was missing out on so much “experience”. More dialed in on purchasing and payroll and stuff.
If you are lucky the minimum wage will be raised, at the moment I would not leave. Give your boss a pat on the shoulder how you like the work environment, but the no raise policy is not working for you. AND tell him openly that you are in it for the money. like THEY are. Ask him if he is pro capitalism. (it means you put profit / income above else. Our whole economy is organized around it. your job is NOT charity).
Much respect on the 90's hip hop segment; please do more :)
Loved your talk from the smart conference
The Dad probably thought it was the wife's fault that the initial stuff got brought up. They always blame the inlaw not the natural kid.
“Minneanapolis”
That was great 😂
Love your show.
And unrealistic work load and forced overtime
its too easy to get fooled into thinking that working past 40h per week is normal. i understand respecting the relationship of employee and employer. but set boundaries early on. if you set them too late, your boss will go with the speech "hey what's going on? is something wrong. you were working so well for past while." and a bunch of shaming.
in your heart only tie yourself to god a job is just work. you do your best you grow as hard and fast as you can but dont take people too seriously, it's the lord dont rush to leave don't get offended and look to grow up and maybe out. same goes for your town if you have to move cause god is giving you opportunity trust him and dont worry.
heres the secret dont get offended because what ever decisions you make when you're offended will be wrong. your trust in god keeps being offended from happening so if you are in this your trial you failing it.
too many people care beyond their job. its best to treat a job as a job. there is no job security only skill security. work will always be there tomorrow. the only person who gets to relax after finishing the work is the top boss.
😄😄😄
John threw his boss under the bus!
Boyz 2 Men! Awesome! ❤️
This is the downside of having an employer pay for your education.
The only incentive in staying on at the job is that if they end up firing him, he won’t have to pay back the money spent on his education.
He should start saving ALL HE CAN, keep his CV ready to go and brace his mind to start looking for a job.
But if it’s driving him crazy, then he should just get another job now for his peace of mind.
Cut back the hours, if they fire him he does not have to pay back (as far as I know he might check that out with a lawyer). he can look for other jobs in the meantime if something great comes up, he can leave and pay. If the new company wants him, maybe they would chime in ? It is NOT going to get better. And if he has a company pension - can he take that with him ? if that company goes under, is taken over they will plunder the pensions. That would be a reason to leave the company earlier.
Thats a shame on his Dad. I've seen this kind of behavior in families when the spouse is of a different nationality culture or race, and that does not make it acceptable at all and is completely ignored
We should love one another his Dad is a jerk ass!
Sounds like Danny and his wife are actually the people with the off-putting issues, but just thinks it's his family and tries to blame them
The father walks past her and actively ignores her in HER home ? Humans are deeply social creatures and ignoring / SHUNNING is the worst, and usually also the hardest to "dish out". Deloney is wrong here - the is not imagined, granddad WANTED it to be noticed that he shunned his DIL. Walks past her and intentionally looks the other way. If he is that childish he put off some other acts in the past (as the husband mentions).
And it seems the parents have a history of making differences !
- most likely the grandfather did want to show the wife and he is not mature enough to adress a real or imagined slight direclty. JD also made that up that she may have overlooked him.
It is common that the grandparents like the child and the grandchildren, but the in law gets the cold shoulder treatment. And now he may retaliate against her, if he wants to keep contact with son and grandchildren she is the only person he can retaliate against for the fact that his son called him out before.
In his mind SHE "made his son" do that up. That theory is easily as plausible.
He brought baked goods ? People often send conflicting messages, are are not all logical and consistent. Or he is extra smart and tries to have plausible deniablilty while he gets his revenge on the wife. Would work in many families, the husband would give him a pass for the insult because there is ALSO the NICE gesture. (the doughnuts are for the kids mostly).
If igonring the wife (= not speaking with her, but not the intentiona passing her and looking the other way) had happened during an event with a lot of people present and it just so happened that FIL never addressed the DIL - could be coincidence, he does not know what to do with her etc. But in a crowdthe sting is not felt as much, and can escape notice. Especially OTHERS will be ignorant that he "shuns" her. So he cannot make his insult (and shunning is one, a big one) land.
He cannot make a display of it how he SHUNS her.
Danny may have old wounds if there was unfairness going on while he grew up. Either way - passing your DIL in HER house no less and intentionally looking the other way is extremely immature and also spiteful. What is the hint that SHE did anything to insult her FIL (even IF, then he should not enter her home).
I feel the pain of not being able to wear your cool clothes at work. lol.
Please stop the hip hop talk Doc. Please!!!! BBD (sorta hip hop) Boyz II Men... Noooooooo.
29:35