In my opinion, most writers don't overwrite because they don't trust the reader is smart enough to understand. They overwrite because they don't trust themselves to have conveyed the emotion well enough in the first place.
You just described one of my biggest weaknesses as a writer perfectly. Whenever I try writing a scene I have this vision of it in my head, but when I actually try to put it to paper it seems to fall flat. It drives me crazy.
100% yes! As someone who publishes some of their writing on Wattpad and stuff too, actually SEEING that people don't get my hints (or just don't react on it) I sometimes feel like I have to explain more. But I have to admit that I actually don't hate it when other authors "overexplain" from time to time, too, if it's not excessive
In my first novel I was told to include more detail because the editor thought the readers wouldn't understand what I was doing. I tend to write the least I need to tell the story. Florid verbosity ain't my thing, unless I'm writing a character for whom such verbosity is the standard method of locution.
“Be honest when you are writing emotions, look within, write from experience.“ It was at this moment that I realized that I haven’t felt/remember feeling most of these emotions 😅
@@zhoradaiyu5184 I always find it hard to remember feeling positive emotions. I don't mean I don't remember experiencing them, but how I physically felt and what I thought in those moments
It was really impressive. Felt very immersive. Or should I say _It made me shiver and keep a moment of silence for the poor fictive soul in the receiving end of that tragedy. Even hours afterwards, I could feel the tears of whoever it supposedly happened to._
"It's all about getting inside your own skin, getting inside your own body. And writing from what something actually feels like." I'm always amazed that some folks can just tell what emotions they're feeling. Like I can often figure it out with context, and I can differentiate between good and bad, but being able to translate feelings to emotions just seems so outlandish. And then there's the fact that I feel/express/respond to emotions sort of differently than a lot of people (and the characters that I want to write). I find I rely quite a bit on external sources, such as videos like these. Otherwise, I think I'd end up with exclusively autistic characters (like myself).
The way you described how a character might react to being put on voicemail or being hung up on is so very true .... I recently got home from Basic Combat Training, and phone calls are few and far in between. If we did get one, it was a reward for doing something exceptionally well. During one such time, we only had about 5 minutes to call our families. We had just completed our last ruck march and were preparing for graduation. I was excited to tell my family that I had made it. My heart was racing as I listened to the dial, waiting for them to pick up so I could give them the good news. I was watching our drill sgts from the corner of my eye, wary of the air horn he was holding that would signal it was time to put our phones away. My parents didn't pick up. The crushing betrayal and despair I felt replaced the excitement from only moments before. Mom said she would always have her phone with her. Then I rationalized. Maybe they were driving and hit a no-service zone in the mountains. So I called again. I was put through to voicemail again. Time was running out and I couldn't even tell my family I would be home in a week. That kind of hopelessness crushes your chest like you can't breathe. It worms into your head, makes you think things that you wouldn't normally think. I left a voicemail telling them I loved them and would be home soon. But I didn't cry. The males would make fun of me and the drill sgt would laugh at my weakness. That night, a buddy of mine from another platoon asked me how my phone call went. I broke down crying at last and told her my family didn't pick up. After an unbelievably hard 10 weeks of praying and suffering and writing letters and missing them, they couldn't even pick up the phone. And something like that can break more than a hundred pushups with a drill sgt yelling at you in the middle of the night because the females who were supposed to be on fireguard were asleep. It breaks and it hurts and it seeds hopelessness.
As a writer, emotion is definitely one of the hardest elements to pull off. And I think the hardest part of it is when you’re not feeling the emotion you’re trying to convey. Like trying writing a tragic scene when you your self are super happy. Kind of hard. So tips for any writers is to listen to music that really gets you invested in the emotion. Save super emotional scenes when you yourself are in that said emotion (great way to redirect emotions too!). Like I had a good day but I had to write my character’s brother in the hospital after an accident. Yeah. Super hard to do. So I turned on “How do I say Good Bye” on loop and man- I got right in the mood and words were flying from my fingertips.
Dear Authors: Groups of people/inhuman species. Let me explain: I’ve found that there are a number of authors who write, say, stories centering around groups of people or creatures, they categorize said groups as “malicious” or “untrustworthy” or “wise.” Stop writing homogeneous species. For example, in the novel that I’m writing the first draft of, the story centers around an apocalypse of (for the sake of a short explanation) giant wolf monsters. They are the bad guys, but I’m not putting them into the villainous box, because they all used to be human, and even though they’re not anymore, they’re still their own people (except, you know, not people, per say). They all act differently from one another.
I agree. It's somewhat lazy writing. It's much more interesting to show the values of a culture, for example, instead of "these people are wise" show how members of that culture value the pursuit of knowledge or perhaps they revere the elderly and teachers of philosophy because of their wisdom.
The second part of this comment reminds me of your good ol' villainous villain - you know, that kind of guy who is the personification of the big bad evil, basically the devil himself, no positive aspects. Tbh I find 'em boring as heck. Make every even slightly significant character gray, some in darker and some in brighter shades, and as you say, apply the same within races/species. At the end of the day, you will have heroes, traitors and cowards within every large enough group, stone cold ones and ones with the warmest heart. Diversity adds a sense of three dimensional to it, otherwise might as well cut out a cardboard picture and put it in the background.
It kind of depends what you need narratively! Most of the time this is true. My novel has around 5 different new "species", one of which is fairly abjectly bad and fairly homogenous. But that species is the broken animalistic remnants of a lost society that have overrun an abandoned world. They are more like wasps protecting their nest than a villain though. They don't play a big part in the story, the species that do are layered and varied, as they should be.
One of my favorite lines from Hamilton is "The moments when you're in so deep, it feels easier to just swim down." Such a simple but powerful way to express that level of grief without even using the word.
As an autistic writer, writing emotions is the single hardest part of any story ^^; They always come out super understated, or I rely on detailed physiological reactions bc that's the only way I can imagine it.
Emotions are difficult to write because every reader processes emotions differently. I would say when in doubt, show the effect of the emotion on the character or tell the emotion simply.
Dear Authors: Other Character Arcs So I know there is Dear Authors: Redemption Arcs but that got me thinking. What are some other arcs that readers don't like because they are overdone/not done well/what we need to see more of. What makes a good positive/Negative/Flat character arc? And what doesn't work? I am not a very well rounded reader but I would like to see opinions on that. Also I wanted to say thanks to Merphy for this series because like a lot of writers, it helped with my writing.
Couldn’t a way to show just how exhausted a character is emotionally by stating it over and over again be helpful to just make the reader feel as exhausted as they are? Not of the emotion, but just from it. I feel like that could be an interesting part if done well.
I don’t know if it works, but when my character is nervous, I don’t explain the speed of the heartbeat or the sweaty palms, I just have her curse over and over in her head.
I think the author have to write complex character becuase we don't need to like a character but we need to care about it. if we don't care with the character, why the things that it's happening wiil be important for us ?
One thing I also learned while studying writing is that you can also make the rest of the language function in a way that sets the tone for those emotions. For example if you’re trying to convey fear, making sure that your building that tension and creepiness in the type of language you’re using. Ocean Vuong also has some great tips on making language function for you and having cohesive metaphors that propel a story forward rather than including beautiful language just for the sake of beauty.
She wrote Augie's sister, Liv, well. She is not a villain for wanting to have a "normal" brother and get more attention from her pare ts. It is understandable and a struggle that real people face. I also thought it was really cute that Liv's boyfriend could relate to Auggie having TC Syndrome because he had turrets syndrome.
@@ariameyer3909 True. His sister, Via has so much depth to her. She has personal crises with Miranda, Auggie and her own mom. While "the world wasn't kind to August Pullman" was heart shattering, I think "the world wasn't kind to Olivia Pullman because of Auggie Pullman" is a lot more deep. Agree with the boyfriend part though.
Might be an unpopular opinion but i actually would love for you to heavily critique books individually like a book per video. Edit: i finished the video now and honestly it was amazing. Good job!
I’d actually love a whole video of you talking about your critique work! Either a video talking about it generally or a dear-authors style video where you go specifically into your thoughts as someone who critiques manuscripts
Sheyenne critique work could be a whole series like dear authors, it would be very interesting to hear what it's like working with authors and unfinished drafts. don't think her clients would like to be put on blast though. she'd have to be extremely vague
17:26 me who’s been working on a comic where basically the characters whole arc in the first part is them slowly being chipped away until they crack in the climax: a b r e a k I n g p o I n t y o u s a y ?
I think this is one of the best dear authors video you have done so far, I really enjoyed it. And I'm so glad you brought your critic examples and thoughts into it, this made the video really interesting and useful, thank you!
Here's the video, if people haven't already watched it or for those that want to watch it again 😁 ruclips.net/video/BWDl5c1WSU8/видео.html&ab_channel=MerphyNapier
the MC in the Mandalorian, its amazing how much emotion they are able to convey with a character whose face you cannot see, and has relatively little and non expressive dialogue (where feelings are never monologued)... btw...was having a lousy morning but a new dear authors is just what the doctor ordered. :( [great now i'm monologuing feelings]
Talking about people jumping up and down and shouting at the sky reminds me of a book I read where this actually happened: A girl is surrounded by people she just met. One of these people makes a vague comment about “what happened last time”. She asks, “What happened last time?” One of the character’s faces then “crumples in pain”, he howls, then dashes out of the room. 😒
The discussion about characters processing emotions for a realistic amount of time reminded me of an amazing Harry Potter fan fiction I read recently, where one of the plots is the aftermath of Sirius almost killing Snape. It describes the emotional turmoil Remus is in because as much as he wants to forgive Sirius because he loves him and because Sirius was just disowned by his family, he also can’t shake the memory of Sirius essentially exploiting him being a werewolf. It shows the process and time it takes Remus to forgive Sirius, and when Sirius first apologizes, Remus doesn’t forgive him because he’s not ready yet. This was one of my favorite fanfics of all time because it showed that emotion so well.
As a reader who falls head over heels for strong character development in any genre, emotional arcs frequently make or break a story for me. One of the things that drives me absolutely crazy is when an author spends so much time describing a character's emotions during an action scene that by the time we get to the actual big event, we've forgotten what's happening and why they feel that way (I'm looking at you, ACOTAR). I know I mentioned it in another comment on a different video, but even though the plot to Red White and Royal Blue wasn't anything incredibly interesting, it was my favorite book I read this year because I related so hard to SEVERAL of the characters and not just the main one. McQuiston even managed to write an anxiety attack without explicitly saying so, or without the character even knowing he was having one until he was already fully in it. As someone with high-functioning anxiety, it was incredibly gratifying not to see another "She realized she was having a panic attack and began to scream and cry, blinded with terror." Like you said, not everyone experiences thing the same way. (Wow. Sorry for the long comment.)
MERPHY! hi. I finished A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor last night. I was wondering if you had any intention of reading it? I think it was MUCH better than An Absolutely Remarkable Thing. I seem to remember you read that one a while back? I also remember you saying that you wanted it to have more sci-fi in it. The Sequel has WAY MORE! Anyway, I'm going to watch the video now :)
Really enjoyed this video! I wonder why in 2020 so many authors and writers still have issues telling instead of showing. Readers aren't stupid. Humans are incredibly incredibly good at recognizing emotions and picking up on cues. It's a survival instinct that we do without even thinking about it. The vast majority of people have no problem recognizing emotional cues in other people automatically.
As a writer who had yet to experience the most tragic and heartbreaking feeling in the real life. It is hard put myself within the character. Because every time I write something that is quite dark and making their deep emotions come alive, I would imagine myself in their position and become the character itself. And when that happens, in the most heart breaking moments, I would let out real tears in front of the screen as each words convey itself to life. == Let's be honest here, New writers. it's either we don't know how or rather don't want to.
I recently read 'The Invisible Life of Addie Larue' by V.E. Schwab and it was a really good example of how to write emotions. The whole book was an emotional roller coaster for me. I don't have any experience writing and I can't really say what she did that made it work, but it's really worth reading. I was listening to it on audiobook (highly recommend! great narration!) and at some point one of the character was panicking. Just from hearing the description of how the character felt, I found myself barely able to breathe from feeling that panic.
As a writer, one way I get in my characters heads is by taking personality tests from their perspectives. It often helps me decide on their personality if I haven’t nailed it down yet. I’ll sometimes do it several times for the same character until I’m happy with it.
This is only tangentially related, but in case it helps someone: it's okay if your first draft (and even a couple of drafts after that) have characters express emotions badly. We all have our writing weaknesses, and good writing is often actually good revision.
Honestly this series has been very pivotal in my writing journey. I enjoy to listening to all of the feedback, and your discussion to help me improve my techniques of storytelling. I know this channel is dedicated to manga now, but it would be very helpful if your book channel had a playlist of the dear authors series!
Grief has stages, and people mourning will alternate between them, until time passes and tears are depleted. Then the only choice is to go back to be happy.
Characters breaking down can be the best moment in the book ... when it's the one moment. In many books a character breaks down every time something bad happens and it loses it's impact. I believe it's satisfying to write, but it's like with spices; too much is just too much. Especially when a character is described as emotionless and than breaks down in every chapter. (Kaz Brekker)
The only way that anger overreaction works is if the author is doing it on purpose. For example, Cato in the hunger games. "So people really do slam their fists on the ground".... and then Katniss later wonders if he was completely sane.
1) loved the C. S. Lewis quotation. The man is bomb. 2) I literally had the show don’t tell video on my channel a view weeks ago and how to fix those issues. I loved the way you addressed it.
I just read Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi and the way she conveyed emotions felt so real and honest. I had to take a beat once I finished to absorb everything the characters had been feeling and going through before I could move on from it.
I wrote this in your community tab too, but I've been recently watching avatar the last airbender (on season 3 now!) ANYWAY, it does SUCH a good job of showing emotions. First, it works hard to make us closer to the characters and then, BOOM. I love it so much and when something happens, we actually feel. I know it's a show and it's hard to cooperate the same feelings in a book but you can achieve a good amount of it!
Another tip for writers trying to write emotion. Take an Acting class, you have to think about the character you are portraying's motivations behind why they are doing things, feeling things, etc. Might help with writing a character. I know I love when I can see ALL the motivations behind a character in a story, why they act a certain way, why a specific thing happening would set them off etc.
Woaw, I loved this video so much! You've expressed very well why literature is so powerful. I've read this year Helen Keller's autobiography The Story of My Life which is one of the most impactful books I've ever read, not just because her life story is incredible in itself, but because of the way she wrote about it! The imagery she used to describe the day she found out there are words and meaning behind everything she could only experience through touch and taste went straight into my heart and profoundly moved me. My husband only experienced her story through my clumsy paraphrasing of what she talked about, but her writing made me experience life with her and ironically (and miraculously) see life through her own eyes. I felt like I was drinking pure living water through words. And that's because our very human nature, our very soul needs beauty and truth, and there's nothing truer (or more honest) than genuine and complex human emotions we might never experience in the same way. I went through very difficult times these past 5 years of my life which confronted me to the topic of grief on a larger scale than what we traditionally understand. Through betrayal we experience a form of grief or even through forced immigration. That's why it's hard to write about trauma and situations we've never truly experienced. The human psyche isn't just one thing, there are countless factors that determine why we react in one way or another. I love the comment about people not always knowing what they feel. I've experienced that two years ago: I was traumatized and grieving at the same time, but I couldn't put the words on what was happening to me and my behavior - aka the fact I couldn't just let it go for a moment and meet someone new - came across as capricious and disrespectful. Writing convincing deep characters is the hardest task in my opinion, because it doesn't just requires good skills, but also a personal baggage only life and maturity can give us.
Writing a character who tells another how all these emotions feel "My heat is breaking like glass... chipped away like a stone being struck... frozen and blown away with the first strong breeze... Help!" can get across frustration at not having the right words. Slamming a fist down followed by a laugh "HA!" is startling. Know how the words you put down shape the scene.
As someone who barely understand emotions in general this was actually really helpful. Though I only write fan fiction writing is writing so this was great help
The example about erupting volcanos made me think of a quote from a story I read ages ago where one character realised he’s in love with another character by describing something that character does as causing “a volcanic eruption inside his heart” and then thinking that “you don’t get a volcanic eruption inside your heart from just anybody” (roughly translated from the original Swedish). That was a way of describing it that very obviously resonated with me since I can still remember it all these years later (I must have read this at least 10 years ago, probably more).
Yes! Pet Sematary, the novel, is a great exploration of emotional writing. It's such a straightforward story too so it's perfect for this. There are no twists and turns (insofar as you come in expecting the reveal about how the burial mound works) - it's instead laser focused on death and grief, and walks step-by-step through this ever worsening singular event, by way of turning the final wish in The Monkey's Paw into an entire novel.
This is very important for me because the book I'm writing is entirely based on emotion. Not only from the idea that I want to try and make the reader care about a main protagonist who is a villain. But also because the magic system within said book is very much dependent on emotion.
How does the magic system work? Do the same spells do slightly different things depending on the emotion of the person casting it? Can people with different emotions cast different spells? How abstract are the emotions? Are there categories for different emotions, or are emotions sort of a thing that only the magic can feel out? So many questions, so few answers.
@@placeholder4038 Essentially, the magic system is that people get branded when they get sentenced to a prison dimension called the Hollow. The Brands are the remaining words of a nearly extinct language(theorized to be the first language ever) that is magical. Essentially the people with Brands force their will through it, and the specific word turns that will into a physical effect. However, each of the remaining words(which there are only five-six of) are really vague, so the Branded's emotional state finalizes what the Brand does(As a basic example, say your Brand meant "Light", when you're feeling sad or lonely, you turn invisible when you use it. When you're confident, you can see in the dark, etc.). Hope that helps!
This was an amazing video. It helped me a lot to try and understand my character’s emotions. I’m a minor and I’ve been really unsure if my book is going to turn out well. I’ve watched a lot of writing advice videos and non of them really clicked with me. Thank you for making this series.
Since I have never experienced grief I always imagine that it would like this: Instead of immediate anger or even sadness the person/ character would either have very intense fear or their brain would stop working. The fear I mean is like when my dog (which I love as much as any person) ran off into the forest at night, I felt sick and my mind didn't think clearly I was in such a panic, hoping beyond hope she was ok, and she was. Immediate anger doesn't seem real to me, or even sadness, not in the very beginning. They would probably be in denial and still have hope they can get them back which slowly melts into anger, depression, sadness, the feeling of drowning, or just numb.
This is my favorite of the series! (And that means a lot coming from me, because I’ve adored each!) Each comment was perfect and I gained so much from this. Thanks, Merph!
I totally agree with the superior ability of prose to deliver the inner thoughts and feelings of a character. Funnily enough, I became most familiar with that when making a graphic novel - essentially trying _not_ to use prose for delivering anything. And boy is that close to impossible in some cases!
Arcane shows emotions without words. Beyond Two Souls also has a great handling of emotions. Kara by Quantic dream also conveys strong emotions. You will enjoy all of them.
I liked this new format where you went into each of the comments and presented arguments and reasons for each. I personally would like to see more of this. With also more of your opinion too. Really enjoyed this one. Personally the rare occasions where showing vs telling could be good use is an introduction of a side character (or unnamed) “he approached the administrator nervously as she angrily waved a pen at him and spat “name!””
Yay, I'm so early! I've been binging your videos for a while now and really enjoy your recommendations.I discovered Daniel Greene AND Mistborn because of you :D I *tried* to read 'Rebecca', but even though when you talk about it I love the idea, the actual book just wasn't for me.
For me, I always liked Dune's super anylitical prose where the characters are analizing what everyone is saying and how they're behaving. Never describing emotion with emotional terms like anger or fear pushes me out of the character's head, because that's how the POV is interpreting another character's behavior. At the same time, describing POV physiological reactions while also describing other characters with emotional words might work to bridge that gap. I think I'll play with this more.
I felt the same way about Shadows of What Was Lost. Similarly, To Sleep in a Sea of Stars, the main character is completely disconnected from her described emotions. Terrible events happen, she's said to be sad for a paragraph, then on to something else. It was frustrating.
What you were saying about characters shaking off emotions and traumatic experiences too easy, Percy Jackson. That's literally one of the biggest problems I have with the series especially as it progresses into Heroes of Olympus, there never seems to be lasting consequences in the series and emotions and relationships seem to pop up out of nowhere. I actually really hope you'll give the series a try, finish off the PJO series and read his next series the Heroes of Olympus bc I wud love if u cuz review the books like u did the Harry Potter books. These books are praised far too much and I feel like they need more attention since they r becoming so popular within the young adult (kinda) community
Oooh the advice on 4:52!! I love that! I had two people read my first chapter and they both thought I needed more emotions so I'm happy this video is posted! :D Thanks!
Pet Sematary was one of my favorite novels. I love King. Great video post. I love your channel and enjoy your posts very much. You put me on to Sanderson and Abercrombie BTW, and I can't thank you enough. I really enjoy their works. Thanks for the time you take to share. I look forward to many more. 👍👏👏
The comment at 4:50 is great. "If you're character is strong, let them break" I love especially, and that's something I always am moved by seeing. When there's a "I'm not afraid of anything! I'm super strong! You're weaker than me, hahahaha" ect. type character it always hits me so hard when I see them at their worst, when they break down, when they can't go on anymore. With that type of character it usually lets you see how they really are on the inside, behind their confident/tough exterior. On another note, so many characters of this type are wasted and made out to be "the bully" or they just have a "you know what, i want to be nice now" moment.
I think a characters emotions boiling over and exploding can be authentic, but it's and indication of something built up over time, and we need to give that emotion time to build up in the story before it erupts.
I wish I had found this earlier, but... sometimes people feel things and they keep it to themselves because they're decent people. Sometimes expressing the thoughts and lashing out makes you the bad guy even though the emotions are understandable, it is not always appropriate or realistic to unload them. I once read a main character who's nephew went missing and it was his own blood relative he knew. He expressed his feelings of loneliness and his love interest started yelling at him for not considering her "someone close" to him. They weren't even officially together yet. Another great example is amethyst from steven universe who i feel like plays victim too much. she's super entitled, whiny and bratty
![Dear Authors... Stabby, Stabby [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xBho0GKrdqo/mqdefault.jpg)
In my opinion, most writers don't overwrite because they don't trust the reader is smart enough to understand. They overwrite because they don't trust themselves to have conveyed the emotion well enough in the first place.
Yep. That totally goes for me and probably most. That said, I'm in between beginner and intermediate in terms of writing that is.
*Exactly*
You just described one of my biggest weaknesses as a writer perfectly. Whenever I try writing a scene I have this vision of it in my head, but when I actually try to put it to paper it seems to fall flat. It drives me crazy.
100% yes! As someone who publishes some of their writing on Wattpad and stuff too, actually SEEING that people don't get my hints (or just don't react on it) I sometimes feel like I have to explain more. But I have to admit that I actually don't hate it when other authors "overexplain" from time to time, too, if it's not excessive
In my first novel I was told to include more detail because the editor thought the readers wouldn't understand what I was doing. I tend to write the least I need to tell the story. Florid verbosity ain't my thing, unless I'm writing a character for whom such verbosity is the standard method of locution.
Hmm... shouting at the heavens when they're mad... sounds like someone... *cough cough* ZUKO
Man I love that scene. The pure anger, frustration, shame, and sadness
When Aragon broke his toe comes to mind
@@downtowords9806 its funny you said Aragorn and not Viggo lol
Cough cough Romeo
I DEFY YOU STARS!!
just shoot me with lightning dammit!
Me, watching this video and seeing my comment mentioned: Wow. Cool.
Also me: **jumping up and down and cheering to the heavens**
bruh😭😂
“Be honest when you are writing emotions, look within, write from experience.“ It was at this moment that I realized that I haven’t felt/remember feeling most of these emotions 😅
A lot of people dont remember negative emotions, because your brain tries to protect you from reliving those bad feelings
@@zhoradaiyu5184 I always find it hard to remember feeling positive emotions. I don't mean I don't remember experiencing them, but how I physically felt and what I thought in those moments
Merphy: I'm walking a tight line here. I'm not trying to go into intense writing advice!
Me: But that's what I want😓😩🥺
Exactly!
Me too!
Facts though like for real I have read authors who made me laugh while reading a heartfelt scene
*coughs* Percy Jackson *coughs*
@@evanhansen724 wait when? When Luke kicks the bucket?
Dear author: chosen one
I think this would be good to do since it is overdone yet there are million new ways to do this but nobody tried that😌
I agree! That would be interesting!
Haven't we done that one already?
@@3849plus no we didn't . We talk about chosen one in main characters little bit
@@hendrikscheepers4144 Chosen ones aren't necessarily wizards
Eg-
Anakin Skywalker
Percy Jackson
@@hendrikscheepers4144 Gives me Harry Potter vibes, I dig it.
the phone scene you were talking about made me go, "wow"
It was really impressive. Felt very immersive.
Or should I say
_It made me shiver and keep a moment of silence for the poor fictive soul in the receiving end of that tragedy. Even hours afterwards, I could feel the tears of whoever it supposedly happened to._
Same!
Omg the way you described the person like breaking into tears after their friend hanging up made me start crying! 😭
"It's all about getting inside your own skin, getting inside your own body. And writing from what something actually feels like."
I'm always amazed that some folks can just tell what emotions they're feeling. Like I can often figure it out with context, and I can differentiate between good and bad, but being able to translate feelings to emotions just seems so outlandish. And then there's the fact that I feel/express/respond to emotions sort of differently than a lot of people (and the characters that I want to write). I find I rely quite a bit on external sources, such as videos like these. Otherwise, I think I'd end up with exclusively autistic characters (like myself).
The same goes for us normies when trying to do autistic characters. (At least when we put in the actual effort to be authentic.)
The way you described how a character might react to being put on voicemail or being hung up on is so very true .... I recently got home from Basic Combat Training, and phone calls are few and far in between. If we did get one, it was a reward for doing something exceptionally well. During one such time, we only had about 5 minutes to call our families. We had just completed our last ruck march and were preparing for graduation. I was excited to tell my family that I had made it. My heart was racing as I listened to the dial, waiting for them to pick up so I could give them the good news. I was watching our drill sgts from the corner of my eye, wary of the air horn he was holding that would signal it was time to put our phones away.
My parents didn't pick up.
The crushing betrayal and despair I felt replaced the excitement from only moments before. Mom said she would always have her phone with her. Then I rationalized. Maybe they were driving and hit a no-service zone in the mountains. So I called again. I was put through to voicemail again. Time was running out and I couldn't even tell my family I would be home in a week. That kind of hopelessness crushes your chest like you can't breathe. It worms into your head, makes you think things that you wouldn't normally think.
I left a voicemail telling them I loved them and would be home soon. But I didn't cry. The males would make fun of me and the drill sgt would laugh at my weakness. That night, a buddy of mine from another platoon asked me how my phone call went. I broke down crying at last and told her my family didn't pick up. After an unbelievably hard 10 weeks of praying and suffering and writing letters and missing them, they couldn't even pick up the phone. And something like that can break more than a hundred pushups with a drill sgt yelling at you in the middle of the night because the females who were supposed to be on fireguard were asleep.
It breaks and it hurts and it seeds hopelessness.
I'm gonna guess she's gonna mention Backman.
oh well
As a writer, emotion is definitely one of the hardest elements to pull off. And I think the hardest part of it is when you’re not feeling the emotion you’re trying to convey. Like trying writing a tragic scene when you your self are super happy.
Kind of hard.
So tips for any writers is to listen to music that really gets you invested in the emotion. Save super emotional scenes when you yourself are in that said emotion (great way to redirect emotions too!).
Like I had a good day but I had to write my character’s brother in the hospital after an accident. Yeah. Super hard to do. So I turned on “How do I say Good Bye” on loop and man- I got right in the mood and words were flying from my fingertips.
Nobody:
Merphy: Starts telling a story about a person trying to escape from a prison
You wanna make us cry woman?
Dear Authors: Groups of people/inhuman species.
Let me explain: I’ve found that there are a number of authors who write, say, stories centering around groups of people or creatures, they categorize said groups as “malicious” or “untrustworthy” or “wise.” Stop writing homogeneous species. For example, in the novel that I’m writing the first draft of, the story centers around an apocalypse of (for the sake of a short explanation) giant wolf monsters. They are the bad guys, but I’m not putting them into the villainous box, because they all used to be human, and even though they’re not anymore, they’re still their own people (except, you know, not people, per say). They all act differently from one another.
I agree. It's somewhat lazy writing. It's much more interesting to show the values of a culture, for example, instead of "these people are wise" show how members of that culture value the pursuit of knowledge or perhaps they revere the elderly and teachers of philosophy because of their wisdom.
this normally would not be my cup of tea but i would be so interested to read this
The second part of this comment reminds me of your good ol' villainous villain - you know, that kind of guy who is the personification of the big bad evil, basically the devil himself, no positive aspects. Tbh I find 'em boring as heck. Make every even slightly significant character gray, some in darker and some in brighter shades, and as you say, apply the same within races/species. At the end of the day, you will have heroes, traitors and cowards within every large enough group, stone cold ones and ones with the warmest heart. Diversity adds a sense of three dimensional to it, otherwise might as well cut out a cardboard picture and put it in the background.
It kind of depends what you need narratively! Most of the time this is true. My novel has around 5 different new "species", one of which is fairly abjectly bad and fairly homogenous. But that species is the broken animalistic remnants of a lost society that have overrun an abandoned world. They are more like wasps protecting their nest than a villain though. They don't play a big part in the story, the species that do are layered and varied, as they should be.
Sounds like Attack on Titan
One of my favorite lines from Hamilton is "The moments when you're in so deep, it feels easier to just swim down." Such a simple but powerful way to express that level of grief without even using the word.
Takes a breakdown to get a breakthrough
As an autistic writer, writing emotions is the single hardest part of any story ^^; They always come out super understated, or I rely on detailed physiological reactions bc that's the only way I can imagine it.
Emotions are difficult to write because every reader processes emotions differently. I would say when in doubt, show the effect of the emotion on the character or tell the emotion simply.
Dear Authors: Other Character Arcs
So I know there is Dear Authors: Redemption Arcs but that got me thinking. What are some other arcs that readers don't like because they are overdone/not done well/what we need to see more of. What makes a good positive/Negative/Flat character arc? And what doesn't work? I am not a very well rounded reader but I would like to see opinions on that. Also I wanted to say thanks to Merphy for this series because like a lot of writers, it helped with my writing.
I think when a book has a good write character, it's half done!
Couldn’t a way to show just how exhausted a character is emotionally by stating it over and over again be helpful to just make the reader feel as exhausted as they are? Not of the emotion, but just from it. I feel like that could be an interesting part if done well.
Exactly! I was thinking this too
I don’t know if it works, but when my character is nervous, I don’t explain the speed of the heartbeat or the sweaty palms, I just have her curse over and over in her head.
I think the author have to write complex character becuase we don't need to like a character but we need to care about it. if we don't care with the character, why the things that it's happening wiil be important for us ?
One thing I also learned while studying writing is that you can also make the rest of the language function in a way that sets the tone for those emotions. For example if you’re trying to convey fear, making sure that your building that tension and creepiness in the type of language you’re using. Ocean Vuong also has some great tips on making language function for you and having cohesive metaphors that propel a story forward rather than including beautiful language just for the sake of beauty.
I fully agree with you on the "sigh". Also, I really don't know why they can't state the specific emotion.
The best emotion : Merphy breaking down while having to sacrifice books. Jk jk.
But you should read Wonder by RJ Palacio. Best emotion in a book.
@@teresachisholm8753 ME TOOOO9O
She wrote Augie's sister, Liv, well. She is not a villain for wanting to have a "normal" brother and get more attention from her pare ts. It is understandable and a struggle that real people face. I also thought it was really cute that Liv's boyfriend could relate to Auggie having TC Syndrome because he had turrets syndrome.
@@ariameyer3909 True. His sister, Via has so much depth to her. She has personal crises with Miranda, Auggie and her own mom. While "the world wasn't kind to August Pullman" was heart shattering, I think "the world wasn't kind to Olivia Pullman because of Auggie Pullman" is a lot more deep. Agree with the boyfriend part though.
'Please: Do my job for me!'
Gold.
A psychiatrist walks out of his office. He stands in profile at the receptionist's desk and points to the closed door. "That guy in there is crazy!"
Might be an unpopular opinion but i actually would love for you to heavily critique books individually like a book per video.
Edit: i finished the video now and honestly it was amazing. Good job!
The 'Dear Authorss...' videos are so insightful for me as a writer, thank you :)
Yay I was waiting for this one, very good comments were written, this is a very deep topic so I love hearing about it❤
I’d actually love a whole video of you talking about your critique work! Either a video talking about it generally or a dear-authors style video where you go specifically into your thoughts as someone who critiques manuscripts
Yesss
Sheyenne critique work could be a whole series like dear authors, it would be very interesting to hear what it's like working with authors and unfinished drafts. don't think her clients would like to be put on blast though. she'd have to be extremely vague
17:26 me who’s been working on a comic where basically the characters whole arc in the first part is them slowly being chipped away until they crack in the climax: a b r e a k I n g p o I n t y o u s a y ?
I think this is one of the best dear authors video you have done so far, I really enjoyed it. And I'm so glad you brought your critic examples and thoughts into it, this made the video really interesting and useful, thank you!
I think the anime Violet Everdgarden explores emotions really well.
That Joe Abercrombie interview video is an absolute gem!
Here's the video, if people haven't already watched it or for those that want to watch it again 😁 ruclips.net/video/BWDl5c1WSU8/видео.html&ab_channel=MerphyNapier
the MC in the Mandalorian, its amazing how much emotion they are able to convey with a character whose face you cannot see, and has relatively little and non expressive dialogue (where feelings are never monologued)... btw...was having a lousy morning but a new dear authors is just what the doctor ordered. :( [great now i'm monologuing feelings]
That cs Lewis quote was fantastic I need to write that one down....
I felt a lot of emotions after reading animal farm by george Orwell
I felt lots of emotions too. Mostly anger and depression.
same!
@Tom Ffrench i know , it's so wonderfully described specially the ending
1984 actually freaked me out for a few days.
Mine were predominantly frustration and that sort of laughter you have while observing a train wreck as a third party. That was a fun read.
I don't have a creative comment, just wanted to say that I love your Dear Authors series
Talking about people jumping up and down and shouting at the sky reminds me of a book I read where this actually happened:
A girl is surrounded by people she just met. One of these people makes a vague comment about “what happened last time”. She asks, “What happened last time?” One of the character’s faces then “crumples in pain”, he howls, then dashes out of the room.
😒
Wtf
The discussion about characters processing emotions for a realistic amount of time reminded me of an amazing Harry Potter fan fiction I read recently, where one of the plots is the aftermath of Sirius almost killing Snape. It describes the emotional turmoil Remus is in because as much as he wants to forgive Sirius because he loves him and because Sirius was just disowned by his family, he also can’t shake the memory of Sirius essentially exploiting him being a werewolf. It shows the process and time it takes Remus to forgive Sirius, and when Sirius first apologizes, Remus doesn’t forgive him because he’s not ready yet. This was one of my favorite fanfics of all time because it showed that emotion so well.
As a reader who falls head over heels for strong character development in any genre, emotional arcs frequently make or break a story for me. One of the things that drives me absolutely crazy is when an author spends so much time describing a character's emotions during an action scene that by the time we get to the actual big event, we've forgotten what's happening and why they feel that way (I'm looking at you, ACOTAR). I know I mentioned it in another comment on a different video, but even though the plot to Red White and Royal Blue wasn't anything incredibly interesting, it was my favorite book I read this year because I related so hard to SEVERAL of the characters and not just the main one. McQuiston even managed to write an anxiety attack without explicitly saying so, or without the character even knowing he was having one until he was already fully in it. As someone with high-functioning anxiety, it was incredibly gratifying not to see another "She realized she was having a panic attack and began to scream and cry, blinded with terror." Like you said, not everyone experiences thing the same way.
(Wow. Sorry for the long comment.)
MERPHY! hi. I finished A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor last night. I was wondering if you had any intention of reading it? I think it was MUCH better than An Absolutely Remarkable Thing. I seem to remember you read that one a while back? I also remember you saying that you wanted it to have more sci-fi in it. The Sequel has WAY MORE! Anyway, I'm going to watch the video now :)
Really enjoyed this video! I wonder why in 2020 so many authors and writers still have issues telling instead of showing. Readers aren't stupid. Humans are incredibly incredibly good at recognizing emotions and picking up on cues. It's a survival instinct that we do without even thinking about it. The vast majority of people have no problem recognizing emotional cues in other people automatically.
As a writer who had yet to experience the most tragic and heartbreaking feeling in the real life.
It is hard put myself within the character. Because every time I write something that is quite dark and making their deep emotions come alive, I would imagine myself in their position and become the character itself. And when that happens, in the most heart breaking moments, I would let out real tears in front of the screen as each words convey itself to life.
==
Let's be honest here, New writers. it's either we don't know how or rather don't want to.
I recently read 'The Invisible Life of Addie Larue' by V.E. Schwab and it was a really good example of how to write emotions. The whole book was an emotional roller coaster for me. I don't have any experience writing and I can't really say what she did that made it work, but it's really worth reading. I was listening to it on audiobook (highly recommend! great narration!) and at some point one of the character was panicking. Just from hearing the description of how the character felt, I found myself barely able to breathe from feeling that panic.
The Thumbnail Though 😂😂
But great video as usual!!
As a writer, one way I get in my characters heads is by taking personality tests from their perspectives. It often helps me decide on their personality if I haven’t nailed it down yet. I’ll sometimes do it several times for the same character until I’m happy with it.
I loved how you gave your critique too here. You should do that more often. 😊
Are you a mind reader? Like no kidding...I was today actually wishing to watch a new "Dear Authors" video from you!
Thank you! :D
This is only tangentially related, but in case it helps someone: it's okay if your first draft (and even a couple of drafts after that) have characters express emotions badly. We all have our writing weaknesses, and good writing is often actually good revision.
Jumping up and down? Who the hell does that?! 😂😂😂 that sounds like a tantrum.
The unintentional advice I’m getting for this is helping my writing sm, I’m so thankful for this series
Honestly this series has been very pivotal in my writing journey. I enjoy to listening to all of the feedback, and your discussion to help me improve my techniques of storytelling. I know this channel is dedicated to manga now, but it would be very helpful if your book channel had a playlist of the dear authors series!
Grief has stages, and people mourning will alternate between them, until time passes and tears are depleted. Then the only choice is to go back to be happy.
Characters breaking down can be the best moment in the book ... when it's the one moment. In many books a character breaks down every time something bad happens and it loses it's impact. I believe it's satisfying to write, but it's like with spices; too much is just too much. Especially when a character is described as emotionless and than breaks down in every chapter. (Kaz Brekker)
The only way that anger overreaction works is if the author is doing it on purpose. For example, Cato in the hunger games. "So people really do slam their fists on the ground".... and then Katniss later wonders if he was completely sane.
1) loved the C. S. Lewis quotation. The man is bomb.
2) I literally had the show don’t tell video on my channel a view weeks ago and how to fix those issues. I loved the way you addressed it.
As a writer I really appreciate this series. Thank you
I just read Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi and the way she conveyed emotions felt so real and honest. I had to take a beat once I finished to absorb everything the characters had been feeling and going through before I could move on from it.
I wrote this in your community tab too, but I've been recently watching avatar the last airbender (on season 3 now!) ANYWAY, it does SUCH a good job of showing emotions. First, it works hard to make us closer to the characters and then, BOOM. I love it so much and when something happens, we actually feel. I know it's a show and it's hard to cooperate the same feelings in a book but you can achieve a good amount of it!
Love these “Dear Authors...” videos. Keep them coming forever, please! ♥️
The best emotion I have read was in fanfiction, completely feeling the frustration and anger the character felt and wanting to throttle their family.
Another tip for writers trying to write emotion. Take an Acting class, you have to think about the character you are portraying's motivations behind why they are doing things, feeling things, etc. Might help with writing a character. I know I love when I can see ALL the motivations behind a character in a story, why they act a certain way, why a specific thing happening would set them off etc.
Woaw, I loved this video so much! You've expressed very well why literature is so powerful. I've read this year Helen Keller's autobiography The Story of My Life which is one of the most impactful books I've ever read, not just because her life story is incredible in itself, but because of the way she wrote about it! The imagery she used to describe the day she found out there are words and meaning behind everything she could only experience through touch and taste went straight into my heart and profoundly moved me. My husband only experienced her story through my clumsy paraphrasing of what she talked about, but her writing made me experience life with her and ironically (and miraculously) see life through her own eyes. I felt like I was drinking pure living water through words. And that's because our very human nature, our very soul needs beauty and truth, and there's nothing truer (or more honest) than genuine and complex human emotions we might never experience in the same way.
I went through very difficult times these past 5 years of my life which confronted me to the topic of grief on a larger scale than what we traditionally understand. Through betrayal we experience a form of grief or even through forced immigration. That's why it's hard to write about trauma and situations we've never truly experienced. The human psyche isn't just one thing, there are countless factors that determine why we react in one way or another.
I love the comment about people not always knowing what they feel. I've experienced that two years ago: I was traumatized and grieving at the same time, but I couldn't put the words on what was happening to me and my behavior - aka the fact I couldn't just let it go for a moment and meet someone new - came across as capricious and disrespectful.
Writing convincing deep characters is the hardest task in my opinion, because it doesn't just requires good skills, but also a personal baggage only life and maturity can give us.
Writing a character who tells another how all these emotions feel "My heat is breaking like glass... chipped away like a stone being struck... frozen and blown away with the first strong breeze... Help!" can get across frustration at not having the right words. Slamming a fist down followed by a laugh "HA!" is startling. Know how the words you put down shape the scene.
As someone who barely understand emotions in general this was actually really helpful. Though I only write fan fiction writing is writing so this was great help
Fanfiction is still writing ^^ I think of it as a crazier free form of writing actually. It's completely valid to write some
The example about erupting volcanos made me think of a quote from a story I read ages ago where one character realised he’s in love with another character by describing something that character does as causing “a volcanic eruption inside his heart” and then thinking that “you don’t get a volcanic eruption inside your heart from just anybody” (roughly translated from the original Swedish). That was a way of describing it that very obviously resonated with me since I can still remember it all these years later (I must have read this at least 10 years ago, probably more).
Yes! Pet Sematary, the novel, is a great exploration of emotional writing. It's such a straightforward story too so it's perfect for this. There are no twists and turns (insofar as you come in expecting the reveal about how the burial mound works) - it's instead laser focused on death and grief, and walks step-by-step through this ever worsening singular event, by way of turning the final wish in The Monkey's Paw into an entire novel.
The Monkey's Paw is bomb
This is very important for me because the book I'm writing is entirely based on emotion. Not only from the idea that I want to try and make the reader care about a main protagonist who is a villain. But also because the magic system within said book is very much dependent on emotion.
How does the magic system work? Do the same spells do slightly different things depending on the emotion of the person casting it? Can people with different emotions cast different spells? How abstract are the emotions? Are there categories for different emotions, or are emotions sort of a thing that only the magic can feel out? So many questions, so few answers.
@@placeholder4038 Essentially, the magic system is that people get branded when they get sentenced to a prison dimension called the Hollow. The Brands are the remaining words of a nearly extinct language(theorized to be the first language ever) that is magical. Essentially the people with Brands force their will through it, and the specific word turns that will into a physical effect.
However, each of the remaining words(which there are only five-six of) are really vague, so the Branded's emotional state finalizes what the Brand does(As a basic example, say your Brand meant "Light", when you're feeling sad or lonely, you turn invisible when you use it. When you're confident, you can see in the dark, etc.).
Hope that helps!
@@hysterical5408 It did!
This was an amazing video. It helped me a lot to try and understand my character’s emotions. I’m a minor and I’ve been really unsure if my book is going to turn out well. I’ve watched a lot of writing advice videos and non of them really clicked with me. Thank you for making this series.
The Emotion Thesaurus is a good resource for showing emotions.
Since I have never experienced grief I always imagine that it would like this:
Instead of immediate anger or even sadness the person/ character would either have very intense fear or their brain would stop working. The fear I mean is like when my dog (which I love as much as any person) ran off into the forest at night, I felt sick and my mind didn't think clearly I was in such a panic, hoping beyond hope she was ok, and she was.
Immediate anger doesn't seem real to me, or even sadness, not in the very beginning. They would probably be in denial and still have hope they can get them back which slowly melts into anger, depression, sadness, the feeling of drowning, or just numb.
This is my favorite of the series! (And that means a lot coming from me, because I’ve adored each!)
Each comment was perfect and I gained so much from this. Thanks, Merph!
I totally agree with the superior ability of prose to deliver the inner thoughts and feelings of a character. Funnily enough, I became most familiar with that when making a graphic novel - essentially trying _not_ to use prose for delivering anything. And boy is that close to impossible in some cases!
Arcane shows emotions without words. Beyond Two Souls also has a great handling of emotions. Kara by Quantic dream also conveys strong emotions. You will enjoy all of them.
I got literal chills when you were describing the phone call scene!!
I liked this new format where you went into each of the comments and presented arguments and reasons for each. I personally would like to see more of this. With also more of your opinion too.
Really enjoyed this one.
Personally the rare occasions where showing vs telling could be good use is an introduction of a side character (or unnamed)
“he approached the administrator nervously as she angrily waved a pen at him and spat “name!””
Yay, I'm so early! I've been binging your videos for a while now and really enjoy your recommendations.I discovered Daniel Greene AND Mistborn because of you :D I *tried* to read 'Rebecca', but even though when you talk about it I love the idea, the actual book just wasn't for me.
For me, I always liked Dune's super anylitical prose where the characters are analizing what everyone is saying and how they're behaving.
Never describing emotion with emotional terms like anger or fear pushes me out of the character's head, because that's how the POV is interpreting another character's behavior.
At the same time, describing POV physiological reactions while also describing other characters with emotional words might work to bridge that gap. I think I'll play with this more.
I felt the same way about Shadows of What Was Lost. Similarly, To Sleep in a Sea of Stars, the main character is completely disconnected from her described emotions. Terrible events happen, she's said to be sad for a paragraph, then on to something else. It was frustrating.
getting the vibe that I should maybe watch the jo abercrombie interview
As a young writer, this is my new favorite channel
It’s better to reveal than to describe.
What you were saying about characters shaking off emotions and traumatic experiences too easy, Percy Jackson. That's literally one of the biggest problems I have with the series especially as it progresses into Heroes of Olympus, there never seems to be lasting consequences in the series and emotions and relationships seem to pop up out of nowhere. I actually really hope you'll give the series a try, finish off the PJO series and read his next series the Heroes of Olympus bc I wud love if u cuz review the books like u did the Harry Potter books. These books are praised far too much and I feel like they need more attention since they r becoming so popular within the young adult (kinda) community
The characters {mainly Percy} still has/have nightmares about the battles and Tartarus-
Ok now I want more videos where you give writing advice from a manuscript reader point of view. I've learned so much from this video!
Oh man. This was an excellent video. Thank you for this series.
I love this series sm and esp since its super helpful to all future and current writers
Oooh the advice on 4:52!! I love that!
I had two people read my first chapter and they both thought I needed more emotions so I'm happy this video is posted! :D Thanks!
Pet Sematary was one of my favorite novels. I love King. Great video post. I love your channel and enjoy your posts very much. You put me on to Sanderson and Abercrombie BTW, and I can't thank you enough. I really enjoy their works. Thanks for the time you take to share. I look forward to many more. 👍👏👏
Thank you sooo much for properly captioning this video!
I love this! In my own writing I've been struggling with how to express emotions so this was a huge help!
The comment at 4:50 is great. "If you're character is strong, let them break" I love especially, and that's something I always am moved by seeing. When there's a "I'm not afraid of anything! I'm super strong! You're weaker than me, hahahaha" ect. type character it always hits me so hard when I see them at their worst, when they break down, when they can't go on anymore. With that type of character it usually lets you see how they really are on the inside, behind their confident/tough exterior. On another note, so many characters of this type are wasted and made out to be "the bully" or they just have a "you know what, i want to be nice now" moment.
OMG, I love these series so much!
Please keep making these🙏
I think a characters emotions boiling over and exploding can be authentic, but it's and indication of something built up over time, and we need to give that emotion time to build up in the story before it erupts.
I wish I had found this earlier, but... sometimes people feel things and they keep it to themselves because they're decent people. Sometimes expressing the thoughts and lashing out makes you the bad guy even though the emotions are understandable, it is not always appropriate or realistic to unload them. I once read a main character who's nephew went missing and it was his own blood relative he knew. He expressed his feelings of loneliness and his love interest started yelling at him for not considering her "someone close" to him. They weren't even officially together yet.
Another great example is amethyst from steven universe who i feel like plays victim too much. she's super entitled, whiny and bratty
I really love this series of videos you are making. It's so insightful! Thank you ☺
Omg you are so amazing at explaining writing from the perspective of the author! Please do a video on book writingggg🥰❤️❤️❤️
Wow, I suddenly feel a lot better about my manuscript. Thank you:)
ahh I love this Dear Author series💕💕