I'm Struggling, brutal honesty.
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- Опубликовано: 6 фев 2025
- In. this episode we sail from the stunning anchorage at Oxwich Bay in South Wales, across the Bristol Channel with its 9 meter tidal range, all the way to Lundy Island, a rugged and remote island with forbidding cliffs and Rocks. Its all easy going but Andy is struggling with anxiety and the weight of responsibility.
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This is your channel. You make the rules. We watch you because your you. You do exactly what you want and when. You don’t need to justify anything to us. Some will leave but others will come. All the best.
Well said! 😊
Perfectly put ❤
Hear, hear!
Exactly 😁
You are spot on. Take your time. Build confidence.
Thank you :)
Don’t stress Andy, just keep taking small hops and pick the nice weather windows whilst the family grow the sea legs. That boat will look after you all. Stay confident 😎
Baby steps…you do you. Do not worry about others think, do it on your time line and build your confidence. It will all come together and we will all still be here. Cheers from Southern California. ❤️
We sailed 1,000 miles last year in our new to us 41 footer and whilst fun it was stressful because everything was new to us. This summer we've done 600 miles so far and everything is 1000 times easier and more enjoyable because we know the boat better. Relax, slow down, don't try and do too much. Enjoy.
Andy, there have been times in my life where stress has wound me up like a coiled spring and I can see it in you. It's been a hell of a journey to prepare for this trip and you've worked as hard as any man can. Give yourself a pat on the back, you've made it and you're actually doing it in good style. So try to relax now, don't worry about anybody's opinion but your own and let that spring gradually uncoil.
Thanks!
Wow thank you!
Our pleasure as we love your channel and felt moved to contribute.
You guys gave made a beautiful job of your hard dodger! It's proportionally spot on, and it's lovely convex(?) forward facing shape compliments the overall boat. Well done!
Thank you very much!
Stick with it Andy. I covered many thousands of miles on what was then 'Ocean Overture'. I had her coded for 12 people and chartered her for a number of years, covering many 'Round the Island' (I.O.W.) races with sometimes raw crew. She was always a skippered charter boat. The boat has covered a great area of the world and was purchased by me in the Carribean and sailed back to the UK. Unless something stupid happens you have nothing to fear with the boat and she doesn't really get going until the wind reaches force six. She is a great Sea boat. Keep on doing what you are doing and you will wake one day and wonder why you ever questioned what you are doing
‘I’m no Aladino” 😂😂😂
Another great episode, I just love the bits where you're just pootling along with light winds. Fabulous to be your own bosses and go where the fancy takes you. Andy, of course you have responsibilities for your family and the boat, It's perfectly natural to be apprehensive, if you weren't I'd be concerned, the sea can be an unpredictable thing at times. You can only make decisions based on your experience and the tide/weather forecasts and do your best. As others have said, this is your life now, you can do whatever you like, go wherever you want. You are living a lot of people's dreams. Fair winds and I can't wait to see Padstow!
Hey there Team Melody, stress and anxiety are truly a PITA, but be kind to yourselves. You are both qualified Coastal Skippers and more than capable of coping with what life chucks at you. If you need a rest, take a rest. Self care is super important. 2024 has been an annus horribilis for so many of us. Take heart, fair days will shine.
Thank you that’s really kind
I've spent months building a hard dodger of foam and glass atop my 89-90 CC Orchard 42, down under in the people's republic of Aotearoa (New Zealand). So I know how much thought, trian and error and sheer hard work goes into getting these things to blend into the overall boat design.
Love the Aladino t-shirt .
You have worked so hard for years not to mention the new baby. Let time help you adjust.. there will be fun ahead too. Rest and be proud of your selves!
Hi Melody crew
I have sailed all my life, now 65, and sometimes it is worth the motor to progress a little. We sail when we can but have no problem with putting on the engine when it seems appropriate to do so. We have sailed with three children on board and like you we hopped from place to place apart from the channel crossing which we did every year. Once you start going south you will find you will naturally do longer crossings, and once the whole crew get used to it it will become second nature to you all. We also found some of ours got seasick, but often at the start of a holiday and then were fine so you might find Ollie does get used to it - remember even Nelson was seasick on his travels!
Keep up the great videos and good luck with the next passage.
Beautiful shots of you sailing...
Andy, go easy on yourself...it is a huge responsibility and it's only natural to feel anxious. Great video! ☀️
Aladino. is a good boat builder but he's still on the hard. And you and your crew are enjoying the boat life. Keep up the good work
Magnificent cinematography with classic music makes each adventure aboard Melody unique and with Jack keeping us abreast of the History we are rapidly becoming quite entertained and knowledgeable as your British Isle tour continues.
👍 I so agree
First of all. Great graphics on the opener🎉🎉
I’ll just share my experience, initial anxiety is totally normal, your comfort levels will eventually decrease the more you’re familiar with the boat and its capabilities. All the noises will eventually sound normal, every now and again you’ll get caught in a blow, but getting through that and tuning up your confidence of what the boat is safely capable of certainly in my case was the key.
Main thing is that you’ve no time frames. That takes a load of pressure off, think of every day as a learning and training experience. Every mile sailed is another under your belt.
Hope none of that sounded patronising, just sharing how I deal with things.
Maybe also keep a log of what you sailed in and how you dealt with it. So you can look back in months or years to see your progress. I think you’ll be surprised. Good luck and fair winds
I feel your anxiety. Something I've lived with for years. It's only natural to think through these things. You're guardian of your family
🥰
Andy your doing an Incredible job !! Hang in their brother ! 👍
Hi guy's thank's for yet another great episode as far a getting stick from people dont take it to heart its not worth the time just glance over them and go to the next positive and helpful message.
After all its your family, your boat, your channel, if they dont like it go somewhere else and criticize.
They most actively theses people do is get out of bed .
Be kind to yourself, you've got this. Enjoy the journey !!
Your family is amazing.
another great video, it is really nice to see how you and the family doing all this, thanks .
Take care of yourself Andy the channel will look after itself you are what you wanted to do as a family enjoy your lives together see you next time 😊😊
Another great video, love all the information you give,it will be so useful for us newbs when we get on our trips. Glad to see the comment section was positive.
Try not to worry Andy. Easier said than done. As you settle into the life things will seem easier and you will gain more confidence. You are doing a grand job keeping your family safe. James.
Thank you ☺️
Thanks for sharing your feelings.I sail and also get these feelings.They will pass.
I completely understand - boat anxiety is real. And most of us have been affected by it in one way or another. Andy hang in there. You don’t have to circumnavigate the world to enjoy your family, lifestyle of choice or boat. You have an amazing wife and mother in Melissa, and incredible kids. And a great boat in Melody. Live your dream, on your own terms. Even if your dreams change to suite you all.
What a fantastic childhood you're both creating for your boys !!!!! Well Done !!!! If every child had this experience they would benefit so much in life !!
Loved it! Jack sure is growing up. You two are great parents.
I just love the sound of the waves .....
Thank you Jack for the information about Lundy. I didn't know any of it.
Finally found you on here, family looking well and happy, nice beard😂 and more warning for man flesh next time. Great vid and don’t stress, much love to you all.
Little Oli will have some wonderful memories to draw on as he grows older 🙂
Love your show! Please Ignore negative comments, and just live, sail, take in the simple pleasures! You do not have to explain anything to us. Good practice to just state what you’re doing and leave explanations off. Most of us, have never stepped outside any comfort zone, so bravo to your family!
Thank you! 😊
Brilliant. Hope you know how much love there is for you and your family. You are an inspiration inspiration. Your doing well with your beautiful kids. Keep up your good work. Love the videos. Sat at home in Leeds dreaming and wishing. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks so much!!
Guys your doing so well ....its a life changing experience for you all ...so some anxiety is bound to happen.......small steps ...guys go as fast as your comfortable with .....and before you know it the med sunshine will be overhead
Thank you 😊
I agree with the comments made here to you. Please dont let the tress take away the pleasure of sailing that you have started. Have faith in your self, your family and your boat. Your family is your greatest treasure. All looks great from where we see you. Your journey of life is for you the navagate as you all feel safe in. Egnore the knockers some may not own a boat or even have a family to take on a boat. We love watching your channel here in NZ and seeing GB thru your eyes
By the way western Aussie around the Kimberleys have up to 13 meter tides! Sir David Edinbough documented a place where the tide flows so high it is referred to as the horiozontal waterfall!!
All the best as we watch from afar.
Oh wow!
Your videos just keep getting better. Most sailing channels get boring once they finish they refit and go sailing but yours have not. Keep doing what your doing,
Thanks for adding the map and route. Nice to have some reference.
When the anxiety interferes with life on board turn up the volume and play Rod Stewart's "Sailing" all your fears will fade away. Good sailing.
Stay strong Andy. You are only human and a very good and loving dad and husband. You have got a good team behind you. Don’t kick yourself to much. You are better than me. What you guys are doing I would love to do, but I haven’t got a single clue. Love to you all x
Hi Andy, Melissa lightning Jack and wonderful little Ollie. Wow I must say ocean melody is looking fantastic. Keep up the good work guys from Australia.😊
Hello, my darlings!
Finally sailing in Ocean Melody must be really stressful, as you're still 'finding your feet' in her, with the responsibility of the whole family!
Please take it easy ❤❤❤❤
Just sail when its fair weather and make it easier for yourselves . You don't have to rush anywhere ! You have done and coped with so much. Give yourselves a pat on the back and take satisfaction in what you have achieved . You know it is going. to get easier and better .
Another great fact filled adventure. Andy I know how brutal honesty feels. Please don't blame yourself for wanting the family adventure. Try and remember that what you have on OM is the beginning of your dream. I admire all of your courage. I feel that in time, you could write a book on Risk Assessment for the Small Family Sailing. As a Paramedic you won't switch off. I hope you have no objection to my suggestion. Stay safe always.
Hi Andy, Melissa lightning Jack and wonderful little Ollie. Wow all I can say is I’m so proud of you guys you’ve come along way been watching you for years and I just want what a great adventure you guys are having. Keep up the good work. Really appreciate you all Cliff from Australia
Thanks for the name drop and, as far as we are concerned, you are exactly correct. Tidal gates are a pain but you have to live with them around the UK. As for people criticising you, never worry about them - they are just jealous that you are on an adventure and they are stuck on land. Heck! We are jealous of you because we are more or less stuck on land this year 😄but we will cheer you all on from our northern redoubt. Kudos to Jack in his attempts to become a human version of wikipedia 😉
Enjoy the life. There will be scary days, cr#p days, great days and everything in between, but that is what gives it its flavour. Fair winds & safe passage 👍
Love the "I'm no Aladino" T-shirt
😊😊
Hey Andy , you are completely right with what you are doing and the decisions you make!
I also watch a channel called The Sailing Brothers, and although they don’t have kids, they learned their sailing in the very area that you are. They are now in the Pacific having sailed the Atlantic and Pacific.
It’s tough sailing and they have said, numerous times, that they sailed in horrendous seas in thee Uk and this has enabled them to travel the world. Luke suffers from anxiety also.
Keep going buddy, I think you are both amazing, what a life 👍👍❤️❤️🇮🇪🇮🇪
Thank you! We love the sailing brothers!
My grandparents lived on Lundy for 20 years I spent every summer there and a few rough Christmases! Really nice to see.
I watch several RUclips sailing adventures but yours is the only one with kids aboard. It is a different situation especially with a very young Oliver. Work the winds and tides as you must but don't worry about short hops and slow progress. You are cruising!
Nothing wrong with taking your time to get your confidence up. as you say you are responsible for your family its natural to be apprehensive. The confidence will come in time don't push it and create panic if you don't have to. I was struggling to set off from Southampton to Hull with my disabled friend. Once we got going it was fine till she became very seasick around Selsey for 4 hours so we pulled into Littlehampton for her to get off and waited a week to pick up fresh crew. I felt horrible for putting her through that but once recovered she was very happy she got to sail with me. Sadly the rest of the sail back to hull was very smooth with not a lot of wind but she will come sailing again and ill have more knowlage of where not to sail to avoid rough waters
This is your journey, no one elses. Take as long as you need. Do what you guys want to do. And enjoy. What negative things others say does not matter, as this is your dream, I just want to thank you for taking us along. Cheers
You are doing really well Melissa. Do Not listen to all the bad comments.
Thank you 😊
Hi Andy, this episode really hit home with me. I too suffer from anxiety and depression. Unfortunately, even when people have told me it gets better with experience, it hasn't. One thing that has helped a bit is understanding the triggers. For me it's the fear of the unknown and feeling overwhelmed (especially as the one "in charge"). Understanding that it's only unknown until it's known (when you finally learn/experience it) and being as prepared as possible has helped me work through the tough times. I get so frustrated with myself as I am finally "living my dream" only to be so anxious about everything I just want to sell the boat. Take solace knowing that you are NOT alone with these feelings and try to share some of the burden with your lovely and capable wife. It will help you both in the long run. Hope you are able to relax and enjoy this time.
Thank you 😊
Why I love Andy and this channel is your honesty, its better to be a bit on the outside normalcy mode and take extra caution as you build your abilities. This makes for a fantastic captain that takes nothing for granted keep that mode in the years ahead. This channel is such an adventure to watch as your taking on such a challenge so many of us have just dreamed and never ventured. Be honest and speak your mind and please all of us that have channels learn to just ignore the negative comments, the world is full of these type of energy vampires. God Bless Andy and press ahead in confidence your well prepared and on top of everything chase it! You need a flopper stopper to set out on the pole at those rolly anchor spots. Let Jack fill us in on the trip of all the odd facts he finds that at the end was JUST FANTASTIC, he is so talented at it.
Hi Andy. Anxiety is part of your mental safety system of intelligent people. It's perfectly understandable and will subside over time as your experience grows. I have it and would not be without it as it has saved me countless times - less often now as I approach my eighties. I predict that by this time next year you (and I), will still be using it as a filter, albeit in the background. It comforts me that I still have my "small voice" to help me with decision making as required. 🙂
Honestly, one thing is clear: you will never be Aladino, you will always be you and you have the wonderful family that you have and you need the security that you need for yourself and your family. Please don't wear those t-shirts and don't apologize for who you are. You are all great!
Andy, once you get under way all will be fine. I find the anxiety of should we shouldn't we is the worst thing. Just go. Once you are out of the Bristol channel it's all plain sailing. Good luck. You are all doing great btw, I almost want to buy another yacht ⛵
that wheel house looks so good now, great job 👍
Andy,Andy, Andy if ya don,t like it don,t do it..😮 but then pushing one's self is part of life. 😅 Good to see young Jack really enjoying the Sailing life and his confidence in leaps and bounds😅. Ollie getting used to the Ocean life. At end of the day ya don,t need to be anywhere so don,t stress it just enjoy.😂
Thank you 😊
@@SailingMelody hey ya got the Lovely Mel to help you along Andy so don,t sweat it. Been a long and winding road to get here so sit back and relax and enjoy the ride. You are doing the right thing as in sailing short hops geting used to the boat and life at sea as live aboards and remember you have worked hard for this life You will be suprised how quickly Jack will pick things up to the point he will be equal with you and Mel which will be good as ya can split responsibilties between 3 and not 2. At the end of the day SOD what anyone says on here it,s you guys lifes just chill kick back and have a few cold ones.
It's life. Anxiety comes in all different forms. Take comfort in knowing you have a choice.
I don't often comment or read the comments on the videos I watch, however after listening to what you both said i have to say its heart warming to see all the support you have from so many people and as others have said its your boat and your journey do it the way you see best, as far as I can see your both doing everything right, learning how she sails, using the iron wind when necessary and making sure your loved ones are safe, and what a fantastic education your children are getting. Defiantly living the dream!
I m watching you in this i bet you do Just fine its complaceny that causes accidents not anxiety!! go for it guys!!
MM I loved those lazy days afloat . you know its the closeness to the sea, the weather, the natural world, that makes it so magical . I envy you guys!!
That was a wonder video. Loved the animated travel path. You've covered a lot of ground. Good job. The aerial at the end was great. Super job on the research Jack.
Dudes! Totally awesome video. Really enjoyed hanging with your family. Keep it up. We’ll always watch! 😎🥰❤️
Very sensible concerns. Our family sailing rule is go when the vibe is right. Family enjoyment priority one. I would relabel your feelings as good seamanship.
Well done. You are doing brilliantly Andy.
Thank you kindly
Hi there Melody family, first time I’ve said anything! I’ve been watching you grow from the very beginning at that time you only had 4 patrons. Can you please tell all the critics you are not in a race and you don’t deserve to be put under pressure.
I know you get a lot of helpful info from the viewers but it’s easy to see the critics are putting unwanted pressure on both of you.. I hope you don’t mind my comments. 👍🏴
Andy, just want you to know your not alone feeling on that anxiety before you head out. Turns out it is quite common. Even people who have been cruising more or less their entire life talk about from time to time.
Wish you fair winds and a happy journey. Thanks for taking us along.
Happy to see u sailing🎉
Andy and Melissa enjoy your time together with the kids as you move away from wales into Europe the weather will be nice
and it must be great living on the yacht and what a education for captain Jack and oily keep at it you’ll be fine
The sea sick will go a way
I could see it Andy, from your other videos. I kept saying at the screen, enjoy! I know, easier said than done. Also you have the extra responsibility of keeping your lovely family happy and safe. If there’s one thing I learnt from having a boat is, be comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s not easy. Also accepting you may feel anxious and it’s ok. Meditation really helps too and breathing excersises. xx
Yes we can't wait for the med, sunshine helps with everything ☺️
@@SailingMelody the sunshine indeed helps. Looking forward to watching 😁 💓
I suffer the same all triggered by a fear of injuring someone especially those you love, fearing the worst all the time, you must listen to your followers we all have total faith and trust in you and you should too your thorough rediculously clever go get it mate live your dream you deserve it, try not to doubt your capabilitys of all your work and future journey enjoy all your in good hands 👍
Yes I agree. It worrying about someone else getting hurt. And the way we sail is so safe and conservative it’s very unlikely but my anxiety is irrational eh
My doctor once said to me if all the bad things you think are going to happen actually do then you'd be the most unlucky person ever, he was definitely right, yes mate your real safe and cautious and them tubs are built for this stuff too , take care and most of all enjoy
Hey Sailing Melody Team (SMT), please don’t stress too much , we’re here for you guys with the good and not so good! No judgement here, we just want you guys to do and be well
Loads of love and support and respect for you all!! Go SMT!!
I want you to think of all the time you have been together as a family and the fun and peace you have experienced these last few months on the boat. Now, think about if you were both back working the jobs and the kids were in daycare and school and your life was go go go. You'd have had about 30 minutes a day with each other; maybe. Anxiety or not, you've made a good choice as a family. That same anxiety you feel, is no different than a farmer hoping the crop will come in unscathed or the mom and pop cafe owners worries when business is slow. All very normal. You have made good and well calculated choices. One step at a time is wise. With beer and Advil, there is nothing you can't accomplish. The sound of those waves lapping at the bow is pure sonic delight.
When we bought our first boat, a 33ft ketch. Our first trip out, we sailed from penarth and dropped anchor at oxwich bay. Slept overnight and then set sailed for Dale. The weather turns out to be force 8 on the nose and wind over tide. It was so bumpy, the family wasn’t to keen about it. From Dale we went up to neyland where we spent a week there, as outside was heavy winds and seas. We were heading to Southern Ireland, but this guy said to us. He was stuck there for over a week. We only had 2 weeks holiday ourselves.
So we planned to sail down to padstow instead via Lundy island. It was a nice trip to Lundy, but we noticed the sea was picking up. So we decided to go to ilfracombe instead. As the wind and tide was behind us, we had a comfortable ride. It turned out to be force 9. What a difference on what way you sail.
I just did my day skipper course so I was very anxious and stressed out, knowing the family’s safety is in your hands, so I know how you feel there. Confident comes with practice, especially with all the family with you 👍👍👍👍
I truly understand and emphasize with your difficulties with mental health. I my self suffer from anxiety and depression. Energy is a massive issue to me . I'm ok on a boat but to get from the house to the boat is my biggest challenge. Remember to allow yourself time to process and recharge . Love to all the family xx
Thank you. Not everyone gets it so I appreciate that
CHEERS ALL, love watching The Growth. Blessings Pals…
Anxiety good fear bad, that can stop you thinking right. You are a careful and thoughtful man, you want to do the best for your family. But crossing a road walking on a pavement is a risk. At the moment your safer on the boat. I would sail with you Captain.
Small steps and enjoy, your journey your both capable sailors ⛵️⛵️⚓️
You have the rest of your lives to sail around the world. This is not a race. This is your life. Don’t let it stress you. You just take it one nautical mile at a time. if the seas are rough, take a break drop anchor and park the boat. if the winds are in your favor raise your sales and let her sail. the whole reason that you chose this life is so that you could relax and spend it with your family so Family take a deep breath and enjoy each other. The big thing you have to worry about from day-to-day is do we sail or do we rest. all you gotta do is keep on keeping on. You’ve taken your classes. You’ve passed the tests now it’s time to log the miles with memories and smiles 😊
I’ve been sailing and boating for 40 years but find my confidence is sometimes lacking, I totally understand.
I feel when I have family aboard my anxiety is worse.
I’d guess part of your concern is what people will think about sailing with kids and your potential to expose them to danger (that’s what used to stress me out).
Your forward thinking and not wanting to expose them to uncomfortable conditions is the right way.
Your doing awesome and are clearly making the right decisions 👍
Anxiety is my Achilles heel I fully support what your saying.
Pasty white guys make the best sailors! I understand anxiety. It’s part of every day life for many of us. I have all the faith in the world in all of you! Don’t feel that you have to explain anything to anyone! You’re doing it! I’m so impressed. Sail bag still looks great, Melissa! Fair winds
Keep it up guys your doing great 👍
Andy.... Is this all really worth it... I'm not so sure mate
.. But go for it
For us the first 18months took a while to get used to. Family need to get all used to it. So take your time and lots of breaks , you’re in no rush.
FYI. I always get anxious the night before a sail. Have I got the course right, tide right , is the boat working right. It’s normal.
The lumpy conditions you had a couple of weeks ago were more than likely due to the lack of any sails up. Our boats are Auxiliary sailboats, and the engine is the auxiliary part is the engine. The sails, even a small amount will greatly stabilize the boat and make the ride much more comfortable. If you need to motor directly into the wind, you will get much better speed through the water and a more comfortable ride by rolling out some or all of your staysail, sheet it tight and fall off just until the sail fills. Motor sailing to windward will prevent the bow from rising with the waves so that it cuts the water and does not roll or pound as much.
Yes absolutely we have learnt for that! The mizen is the first sail up now.
Andy with your amazing wife Melissa you are both seasoned sailors, although anxiety is a pain in the butt it also keeps you alert. You both have a great responsibility with the children on board, but you are not out racing. Pace yourself and enjoy the journey. 🥰⛵️⛵️⛵️💕💕🤗
You guys are winning at life.
Great to see you starting out on your adventures.
I started my sailing adventures just across the river in Conwy, small hops at first, Pwllheli, Fishguard, Dale, Milford, lots of nerves and anxiety at first but, passage after passage it gets better. I made it round Britain last year doing 24 hour passages with confidence and ease by the end.
This year so far I have sailed to the Canaries, and 3 to 5 day passages have gone from terrifying to routine!
It’s a hard path but keep at it and you be salty sea dogs in no time!
Keep up the great work guys. Bloomin brilliant what your doing. Living the Dream
The sailing shot to Lundy was very soperific. Reminds me of what cruising is all about.
As you know. you are living your best lives. Who cares what anyone else says! As for anxiety, that's perfectly normal, in my opinion. Being honest with yourself is admirable and will help you get over it as you face your anxieties head on. You don't need to justify or explain anything to us. Loving the journey and the videos. Stay brave and relish the learnings.
Andy. This is all a very new experience/challenge for you and also your family.
It would not be normal to not worry about things as you feel as the skipper, and Farther, responsible.
Take one day at a time, don’t feel compelled to sail if the weather is poor.
Sailing is all about flexible planning and changing if necessary.
Take good care you have this and with time you will be more comfortable and confident.
Mike
Great T-shirt. I should get one too 😄
As time goes on you will feel more comfortable, it's in the human nature to worry about new things until the opposite is proven. If you didn't worry at all it would be concerning. You are a careful guy and that is what we want from a captain with his family on board. To ease your mind you and Melissa can talk about different "what ifs" so it's not all on you, if you haven't already.
I went through a period of deep depression and anxiety. I found that making a list of things to be grateful for seemed to banish the depression still had melancholy for quite a while. It was a good friend who made the suggestion to make a list of all I had to be grateful for highly recommend that practice. Also, there are some pharmaceuticals that seem to help a great deal as well. Don't be afraid to get professional help Nelson. 0:10
I think your goal setting is perfect… setting realistic and obtainable goals.
Don’t beat yourself up go with your first instinct.
Last thing you want is to scare everyone and put them off.
Ps
There's no hurry to get anywhere, and your safety's all important!