I remember my lovely father returned his clean used plastic bags to the supermarket packing area for other shoppers to use being shamed by being told ‘they could have germs, it was better to use a new one’. My father was conscripted to serve in the 2nd World war and was frugal all his life, I have the utmost respect for him and all his generation who managed on very little and saved. My parents wrote their shopping list on a cut up piece of cardboard from a cereal packet, they lived a simple life and were happy until they both passed in their 90’s, a wonderful example to me.
I have been frugal shamed for years. I was a nurse for over 25 years and always brought my lunch to work. During lunch time people would be eatting their cafeteria food and talk about buying new vehicles, going on vacations. I was driving a used car that was paid for, and I didn't go on any vacations since January 2015 since my husband passed away. I was putting most of my income toward my mortgage. Well now I am mortgage and debt free at 55 and retired. I am now starting a sinking fund labeled trips/vacations. 😊😍
Yes, I've been frugal shamed. It was subtle. A couple of friends continually invited me to go out to lunch, coffee, pedicures, massages. I had to constantly say no because we literally did not have 2¢ to spare! Even though I frequently invited these ladies over to my home for coffee and cookies or lunch, they cut me off and stopped being my friend. This was very frustrating when you consider it takes more work to have people over. Now, I'm older & wiser & I'm better at recognizing a true friend.
When my father passed away, my sisters and I were running around doing all the necessary preparations. When we went to Florist, I could have parked in front and put money in the parking meter, but if I parked on the other side of the street it was free of charge. When I parked across the street, one sister mentioned that wouldn’t you know it, I would park where it was free. Somehow, we were driving in my car, on my gas, but she felt entitled to laugh at my frugality. I didn’t dignify the comment with an answer.
I’ve had family and friends joke and call me cheap. Luckily I was born with best gift ever, I never cared what someone thought about me. Being frugal gives me peace of mind. I am debt free. I retired at 58 with a liveable pension from a job of 20 years. I don’t have many frills, but I’ve never been happier. My house isn’t fancy but it’s mortgage free. I’m thankful everyday for my frugal life. I love your videos.🌸🌼🌻🌺
That’s so great! When we leave this earth, we can’t take anything with us, so why would we need a fancy house or things like that? I feel very bad for people that try to show me their new car or something that they owe payments on, because they just signed up to work all those years more just to pay it off. I try not to say anything negative, but I truly just feel bad foe them! I just can’t get excited about that. Enjoy your happy, frugal life! 😊😊
You are not cheap you are just wise have you heard the phrase penny wise and pound foolish the ones who pick on you are just ignorant and some of them are conned into spending a large sum of money on a so-called diamond 💍 and it’s a piece of zirconia they paid for because real genuine diamonds are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars How dumb are they really 😄😄😄😄😄😂😂😂😂😂
I have found that those who need to shame me for being frugal, are ysyally very deep in debt, have a huge sense if entitlement! And do nit want to change!
My sister always comments on our life choices. I once told her our goal in life is to owe no one anything but love! Also, No is a complete sentence ! Our financial situation is not up to debate. We have been a one income family for over 20 years.
I tell everyone who frugal shames me simply ‘I have goals that I’m working toward.’ It usually opens a conversation and ends up being educational for them lol
I have someone in my life whose motto is “I could be dead tomorrow” and uses it as justification to spend lavishly on meals out, holidays and clothes. I then resent comments from this person about choices I make about not doing certain house projects, not replacing items in the house, not replacing my winter coat. I have to let it wash over me, I’m very happy with my choices. As you always say we are lucky to have a warm cosy house and lots of good food, we’re still repaying debts but we have a really good budget and we’re putting savings away for an emergency fund. We’re on a good path now, my frugal shamer can mind their own business!
I hope those people never need long term care in a nursing home like several loved ones in my family. You don’t want to be in the nursing homes that are for the indigent. Mercifully my family planned and got to be where they were cared for beautifully.
@@dianegribbin3582 I feel if it is your children saying it it is a nice thing to say. If they told you to live frugally so that they can inherit something some day that would sound somewhat understandable but still a little selfish to me.
Years ago, my husband and I were being extremely frugal to save $$ while building a home. We were living on-site in a 10' x 16' tiny building. We were crowded but comfortable and very willing to temporarily live that way to save thousands of $$. A friend visited and didn't stay long. As she drove away, she said, " I wouldn't stay with my husband if he did this to me!". What she didn't understand or let me say was that we had decided as a couple to live that way for awhile. My husband wasn't forcing me at all. Years later, when we had a nice, payed-for home, she admitted that she'd give almost anything to have what we had. Sometimes it's not worth saying anything....time will reveal that truth...
I don't remember ever being shamed probably because I wouldn't care. My Father told me, "You worry about what other people think about you when they start paying your bills". I've never forgotten that, never. My husband and I retired in our 50's. My Father was right about everything in that statement. I'm 67 now and my husband is 70. We are grateful. we don't have to work or worry about money and are quite comfortable. We are in the USA and 2016 to 2020 has not been the easiest for for many in our country, but we are financially fine. Also my Mother always said to save half of any dollar. She was right too. Enjoying your channel and look forward to traveling to Europe when this damn pandemic is over.
Well said! We have lived frugally for many years. I have been looked down on because of work choices. I had several cleaning jobs, and comments were made by others. What they didn't know was that I was self employed as well, and the cleaning wages were going towards paying off our mortgage, knocked 12 years off. We are now debt free. I value simplicity, and know that we are really lucky to have a roof over our heads and food to eat, we don't need more. Life throws things at you, we've had redundancy and ill health in the last two years. Thank goodness we were in a better position to cope. I feel it's never too late to make changes.
Well done to you you have done what's right for you.ive been looked down on by numerous people for being a cleaner but as I get older I couldn't care less what people think it's a good honest job and you can pick your hours.all the very best to you❤️
I have been fortunate that people have congratulated me for retiring early and debt free, while being a sole parent for many years. They ask for advise on how they can achieve the same. Be sensible with your money, work hard, plan for your future and get out of debt. When my siblings and I were children my parents told us "If you want something, work and earn it. Don't expect other people to dump things in your lap." A Good lesson in life. I am guilty of noticing people who I think are not frugal, i.e. $5 a day for coffee, 5 days a week adds up to $100 a month. There are a lot of other things I could spend on that much money, or save.
I got horribly shamed at work for everyday bringing a thermos of coffee, and a refillable water bottle and a cooler to keep my lunch of leftovers. I explained that I am not spending the daily $10-20 on beverages and food daily at work. I instead choose to save that money to vacation 2-3 weeks a year. While still padding my retirement savings. They finally learned to stop asking.
I said to a friend “I try not to spend money I don’t need to” he replied “and you don’t spend money you should”. It’s no one else’s business what you should be spending your money on x
When I was engaged in the 1970's I was earning $80 a week. I paid my mum $10 board, I paid $10 for bus fare to/from work and I kept $10 a week for anything else. I banked $50 a week. My fiance also saved .We bought our house when we married a year later at 18 and 21 respectively. Rather than everyone being happy for us we got a lot of 'arent you lucky'? No, not luck, pure determination.
Oh yes, I have been judged over the years. It used to upset me when I was younger and newly widowed with 2 young boys. It was in the 80's when interest rates on the mortgages went over 15% I had to really tighten my belt. I struggled big time but we got through it because as a child in the early 50's we had so little. My salary was always modest so I had to be frugal to make it stretch and it has become a way of life. Now I don't even try and justify myself when people comment. Contentment comes when you are happy with your lot in life in your own home with a close family around you
We have the same experience, I was widowed in 2005 with 2 small boys, 5 and 6 years old. I had no job, was a stay at home mother. Had to sell our house and start again in s run down flat. Got a job, fixed it up to sell, and took on another project, building my equity. People around me stopped joking, and today I live in my newbuild house, on a little homestead/smallholding to be. I got a mortgage, but working on reducing it every month, by being frugal. 👍
I loved today's chat. I became a stay at home mother when my youngest son was born and we were faced with autism issues. Staying home and teaching him to function was the best gift I have ever gotten, frugality played a very important role in our lives it made it easier to stay home and teach him things that at school were not being taught to him. Currently he is a freshman in community college and he's doing well of course while we still practice frugality to help him along while we still save for our retirement. No shame here. The friends who couldn't understand I dropped along time ago.
My mother who passed away 8 years ago , and was 6 when war (WWII) broke out had a very harsh childhood in Portugal, and in her very late years when she saw so much good food being thrown away she would often say harsh times will come back mark my words, I'm so glad that I had her teachings making do with as little as possible.
In the 70’s my mum was a single parent. Times were hard! She budgeted by what she called “Borrowing from Peter to pay Paul”. As long as the mortgage was paid every month the other bills would be paid in turn. The coal man was a special gentleman who used to let us have coal thru the winter and mum would catch up thru the summer. I remember mum not having food at tea time and telling us kids that she’d already had food. It was only when I was older that I realised that mums weight loss was because she was going without to feed us! There was a lady on our estate who used to put her nose in the air at our way of life but she was more than happy to let a 12 year old (me) babysit her kids every fri night! It was the only “ pocket money” I had but I enjoyed having it and I moved on to working in a hair salon at 14 on a sat but I then had to buy my own school shoes lol. I’ve worked from 14 to 50 , always had a job and always been independent because of the strong mother I had. Unfortunately now I can’t work for medical reasons and it’s hard getting benefits even though I’ve paid into the system and yet there are hundreds claiming huge amounts that have NEVER worked. If that’s not shaming I don’t know what is?! I’ve struggled for what I have and I continue to struggle but I’ve cut out all the “ shamers” out of my life and I’m much happier. Thanks for the vlog, it was just what I needed this morning. Xx
I talked the other day, about my dad in the 60's laid on the sofa after a week working down the pits with two 1/4 bags of sweets, he thought he had got the world! it made me very emotional.
Funny story. My Polish grandmother had a credit with the corner store owner. She would buy what she needed (basics) and pay the store keeper on the Friday when my grandfather got paid. I thought this was a fantastic idea. I went in every day myself and put candy, pop and crisps on her credit. I was 8 years old. Lol. Boy I got it good come payday Friday. 🤣.
Totally agree with what you say. I've found that most people that make remarks about being frugal are actually saying them to make themselves feel better about their habits and not feel bad because they can't save or wait for things, themselves. My children, as adults, realize in many ways, how a frugal lifestyle gives them safety, less stress, and allows them to reach their financial goals.
A colleague was annoyed with me yesterday. She said why arent you going to the Christmas party? The patient I was caring for stuck up for me in his semi conscious state and said he realised years ago that work Christmas parties were never worth going to and hes not been to one in decades. Then another colleague called those of us not participating in the work secret Santa bah humbugs. I havent said the real reason is my husband hasn't been able to work for 6 months, but maybe I should. I love your channel and have been binging on it all week. I've found it to be a real encouragement at this time as I'm not sure my husband will work again and its encouraged me that him going on a pension or lower wage will not be the end of the world, but the beginning of a new more frugal adventure.
Great topic! I have actually found that explaining why I am frugal actually piques interest and some respect sometimes. Especially with my ex colleagues, as we were all under paid and struggling! Many of them used to read my blog! However I feel it has caused a chasm between me and better off friends, who seem irritated by me not choosing to go on a girls weekend or out for dinner. I’m not impressed with their fancy houses/cars/ holidays and as a result we have drifted apart. I find it hard to find people IRL who proudly live the way I do, which is a shame. But I love my life and am grateful every day that we are debt free and I no longer have to go out to work (unlike most of my old friends!). Instead I can earn enough to get by doing things I really enjoy, and I have more precious time. It’s great to find online frugal folk with the same attitudes.
Yes, bulk buying and batch cooking, reducing portions and taking lunches to work for decades and handmaking Christmas presents were often met with gasps and uncomfortable smiles... thankfully I have made peace with the way I like to live and what's important to me, (even if it's isn't what others might choose) and I am happy to let others live the way they choose.
We really enjoy your chats! Your mentioning of life in Britain in the 70s brought me back to life in Britain in the 50s and 60s when we had so much less, but knew how to make do. Everything was mended and reused, not thrown away and replaced. How many people know how to darn a sock these days? Sometimes I watch old episodes of Coronation Street from the 60s on RUclips just to be reminded of what it was like, a lesson in humility and gratitude.
Oh yes what a great program Jane you have hit the nail on the head ,people who criticise a frugal ways are probably jealous that they aren't in the same position as us! Who knows your coat ,shoes or jumper came from the charity shop if you don't tell them ! One man's trash is another's treasure.🤑
All my life I was careful with spending...the priority was to live debt free and save as much as possible. Was morgage free at 52. When I turned 60, I lost the job I had for 31 years, and fond myself unemplyed in a week's time. Best thing that ever happened. I had the means to stay retired and now, at 65, happy about very choice I made.
I have been shamed for taking old shopping bags back to the store to re-use each week instead of buying new bags everytime (which I just worked out that it adds an extra $1.20 to my weeks shopping bill, that's a whopping $62.40, that is equal to a week's worth of food). I looked at the cashier and thanked her for her concern and said "you do you, and I'll do me"
I was able to resign and retire early from a job that I despised . Last day is next week . Mortgage paid off - school loans paid off and money in the bank . My husband and I are very grateful for what we have and are looking forward to leaving the “rat race “.
Absolutely I have, when I worked and had charity shop clothes, had yellow sticker food, a lodger. Some but not all workmates looked down on me. Not now I retired at 55. Now heading off to Athens on Tuesday mortgage paid and have healthy savings and pension.x
I got frugal shamed over a holiday this year. I set a firm budget for what I could afford to spend on it when, out of the blue, the cost of the holiday was increased by £200 so I pulled out. The rest of the group tried everything to get me to spend the extra money but it wasn't in my budget so I stood firm and said no. I've heard since that I was called everything for pulling out - that I'd let them down, that I'd refused to accept the offer of a loan for the extra money, and that I could have afforded to go if I'd really wanted to. The simple fact is that I'd set my limit and refused to go above it.
I was once looked down upon with my then fixer upper home. I made it beautiful and then sold. With this so far seven year fixer upper I have no mortgage. People stop on their walks and tell me what a wonderful job we have done and complement the gardens. I may put this one on the market and move near my children now I am of advanced years. I was a thrifty minimalist before such things were fashionable.
Three comments come to mind. A coworker used to say “wearing that again?” A neighbor said your car is a good starter car. Another acquaintance shamed us for not going to a concert ( I didn’t want to see) and dinner beforehand. $250 for one night! No thanks! This month has been stressful. Washer/dryer gave up so we bought new on credit! My cats had an unexpected $1400 vet bill and my vacuum cleaner needed repairing. Extreme frugality for us now. No extra spending period and I’ve cut my grocery bill in half. We’ll get through it.
When someone says to me, "Wearing that again?", my reply is "Don't you have favorites too?" They shut-up really quickly. Lol rude questions require a rude answer.
I heard "it's not how much you make, it's how much you save" years ago and that always stuck with me. I love being debt/mortgage free because I love having the money I make going into my bank account and not to credit card companies or lending institutions. My brother and a few friends are always complaining that they need to make more money because they can't get by, even though what they already make is quite substantial but it's all due to reckless spending and buying things they really can't afford. But if you can't manage what you currently earn, making more will NOT solve your problems. Excellent video, thank you!
Hi Jane I could give you a hug. Would you believe I was at the hairdresser's with my sister today. We were chatting away about the cost of living going up. Then she turned to the hairdresser and said that she had rich man's tastes but on a poor man's purse unlike my sister (me) who has a rich man's purse and poor man's taste. I didn't know what to say. I love her dearly, but she insists on going to the more expensive supermarkets. . Hates charity shops. Everything has to have a name. . I love mending ,up cycling, charity shops and happy to shop at Lidl. Hence I have the money and she hasn't. At times I even feel guilty. But that's a long story . You have made me feel better tonight. Thanks xxxxxxxxxxxx
Thinking of your question, 'have we ever been frugal shamed' it comes to mind...a while ago a very close friend of mine, was cruelly giving her opinion about the way we live, and laughing about our lifestyle and calling us ' the Hillbillies'. I politely lessened my contact with that friend. Who needs disrespect in life from that sort of attitude....a few years later, the lady concerned had her home taken from her and was made bankrupt, being thousands of pounds in debt. We took her and her family in for a short time to help.......Although I don't like to sound mean but I couldn't but think ' Karma' !!!!!!!
I really related to this post as people have commented on our thrifty lifestyle but when we both semi retired at 52 those same people said " boy it must be nice to work so little. " My reply is always the same " it sure is nice" with a big smile. Another point is that frugalling is a wonderful environmental choice. My family loves your pasties that we now make. Keep up the great job!
I love your channel. No, I've never been shamed for being frugal but I've been shamed for not being frugal and I listened and am still learning to be frugal. You are my inspiration and I appreciate your wisdom about being frugal. We're already in a recession or about to be in one very soon and the best way to plan for that is to live your life (save and be frugal) so that when an unexpected recession happens your way of living will not suffer.
I was ridiculed by friends and colleagues but whilst they live their debt, I put 40% down on my house, and fingers crossed and frugal living to the max, I'll have hopefully paid off my mortgage in 5.5 years. That's every spare penny, pay rise, extra work thrown at the mortgage. Have I lost anything by not going on holiday abroad, no. Have Iost anything learning to sew and buy from charity shops, no. Do I care what wanna bes have or buy, no. I once watched a video on RUclips and a phrase that has stuck with me has been 'if you have to eat macaroni and cheese because you can't afford anything else, it's better in a paid off house than under a bridge. Life happens so I'm after a paid.off house as quickly as possible at the age of 61. I so admire people who are frugal and always looking to learn more.
I truly believe you and the struggle it is. I've found so many helpful hints, tips and moral boosters from you and Mike for all the years I've followed you. I saved your old blog posts so I revisit them when feeling low to give me a perk up and they always do.
Do you know what, I really haven't experienced this shaming. My family especially is really good at live and let live, which is our great family strength I think! Only, a few months into zero-based budgeting, my good friend finally took my aside and asked if I was ok financially because I kept telling her "I can't afford it". Of course what I really meant the whole time was "I have decided not allocate money to it". I told her I just wanted to smash down the mortgage and she seemed to understand.
I also have been frugally shamed and I am not really even truly frugal! People just need to learn to mind their business, but they never will I suppose. If you are not frugal and live above your means, the exact same people will 'shame' you for that! They just enjoy and get a buzz from not minding their business. It is amazing! I have decided not to respond with the appropriate retort, at the most telling the miscreant to mind its business and then I walk away. Thank you for the video! (And it is worth remembering that your left-overs are probably nicer than their tragic shop bought sandwich!)
8:40 “We are the people who’ve got the skills to survive this.” This section is inspiring and fantastic. Important to realize that frugality is not a current fad, it is a return to traditional values practiced by those who survived hard times in the past. Love how passionate you are here. It’s obvious how much you care about helping others.
Good comment Mabel. I think that the western countries are overdue a dire recession, due largely to the amount of QE, debt & politically expedient poor decisions by those in government. If the SHTF, even in a modest way; those that live well within their means, mend & make do, & have resourceful skills, will then out perform those that have lived the 'high life' in recent years. Regards, JohnnyK.
Love your videos, I'm from 🇺🇸 America and have been laughed at for the past 30 years for living in the mountains on many acres in a small house. My family and friends stayed in the city buying big new houses with new cars, we preferred to own things. Retirement is coming here in a few years and I'm seeing more people that I know starting new mortgages and I'm thinking I'm happy I chose to live under my pocketbook. In America people look down on others for driving old cars or living in small simple houses but it's paying off as the cities have killings and looting with the socity changing to socialism. It makes me happy that I'm able to have fresh air to breathe, a safer neighborhood and now I can justify my frugal choices in life.
During the pandemic we had (long term) colleagues who were frequent "frugal shamers" in a complete panic because they thought they might lose their jobs and were in debt up to their necks; I was asked why I wasn't worried. I just smiled and pointed out that I was intentionally mortgage free before I had my kids (31) and have remained debt free ever since. We now have a little group who get together over our packed lunches from home rather than getting together over coffee in the on-site Costa :)
Thank you so much for this, Jane. Love your vlog 😊. We have someone who is always commenting on how we should do things and live our lives. Renovating our house has been frugal, and on a budget, as is our lifestyle but we are very happy. We do the majority of the repairs and maintenance on our house wherever possible as it saves money. We grocery shop for generics only and shop around when we need to make big purchases (such as appliances). We have no debt or mortgage and recently retired in our mid fifties. We also have one old car which we won't be upgrading any time soon. We are by no means perfect but we always give things a go. 😄
Hi! I just found your channel, and I love what you have said about being shamed for being frugal. Being frugal is NOT being cheap but using your money WISELY. I live in Texas, U.S.A., and we like the rest of the world are experiencing the high cost of living, too. The big plus about frugal living is it makes one focus on what is really important. Thanks for sharing.
I've been told "I couldn't bear living in that pokey little house" by people who are having their housing paid for them on benefits! This "pokey little house" is what we could afford to get a foot on the ladder in our 50s/60s after years of tied accommodation and we're very lucky to have it!
I have a friend who thinks I'm mistaken for living frugally. She always points out that I could die tomorrow. My response is that the odds are that I won't and I need to make sure that I can at least maintain the lifestyle I have now even if it's not extravagant and I don't buy everything I desire. I'm comfortable. I need to reduce some debt and save up for an emergency fund and a newer car, I'm not going to be able to do that if I'm not frugal. You're right! We're all in a budget crunch right now and we are the people who can get through more easily.
Jane, loved this money chat. It's encouraging and sensible. Keep it up! As for me, there is no shame in my game. When someone asks, "Why don't you spend...etc. etc." my answer is "I don't want to." Frugality is fun for me the way shopping is for some other people.
fantastic chat ive saved this video so i can replay again and again to get its total benefit thank you Jane for your practical common sense and positive outlook its so refreshing love your videos
One of the best frugal videos I've seen. I was one of those who wasted money on shopping snd eating out. My family never budgeted at all. It took retirement to make me realize the time to be frugal is now.
I have for sure been frugal shamed. I remember in college, I would tell these wealthy friends who were supported by their parents that I couldn't afford to go out for a drink. I was an intern and barely able to pay my bills. One of my friends joked, "Do you have a secret drug habit?" And I was like, no, I actually pay my rent, phone bill, car insurance, etc. They had no idea because they'd never paid for those things themselves. I've always lived on a budget and maybe have been known to be "cheap" which is an insult here in the US. But I find what I need at the prices I want to spend, so it's working out for me. :) I really enjoy your videos, thank you for taking the time to make them.
It's society! The I want it now! I'm so grateful for all the things I have, the security of having an emergency fund makes sleeping at night easier. I don't like shopping, I don't like clutter! I save money for the things I love, like my kids future or travel. Thanks for your videos, lots of wonderful ideas xxx
What keeps me going and is something I really enjoy,is stretching our grocery budget,having my little envelope with my grocery money and being as frugal as possible with it.its fun and a challenge to use up everything,be mindful and see the extra money you save ,our goal is to stop living paycheck to paycheck.im working towards saving for next months expenses
My husband retired at 55. We have no mortgage. We are independent retirees. I have recently retired due to Covid and we live happily managing with our reduced incomes. I have four kids, three out of four are frugal and good savers, my oldest although he earns very well, his income is never enough. I have not been frugal shamed as I have friends who are also frugal.
Nay sayers have never bothered me...my stress level compared to theirs is priceless. We are debt free except for a small mortgage. We have been told too that we have a nice, clean homey house..I can live with that.😊
Thats what I have been so amazed about, how I am still getting the same money but my stress levels have gone to nothing about money, its almost as if the amount is more
Hello just found you from the Frugalwood site. Love your content. I have always said I was born dirt poor and so I can be poor again. But I am so grateful for what I have and looking forward to retiring in about 5 years
Great video. I have been fortunate to not have been frugal shamed to my face but I have had people misinterpret my frugality for poverty and try to offer me money "to help me out". I explain that I am fine, just frugal in order to meet some goals that I have. My heart breaks when I read the comments below of the rudeness people have encountered. I agree with you that I do not owe anyone an explanation but if someone was shaming toward me, I just would not keep them in my life. I suppose it is hard to totally get rid of co-workers you see each day but I would limit my contact with someone who tried to shame anyone about anything.
I’ve learned the art of pointing the finger back at them. WHY DO YOU CARE what WE DO with the money WE MAKE & YOU DON’T CONTRIBUTE TO? I have learned that people who ‘frugal shame’ (or any “shame” really) feel as if you making your choices are basically telling them that their choices are dumb. Which they may or may not be but usually we are “being shamed” because our different choices, when they find out our different choices, they feel as if they should be doing some of the same things we are but don’t want to, so thus become bullies. It’s the same the world over. Usually when I ask them if they are paying my bills & if they want to mouth their contributions into my life, they need to start paying up because without having money being forked over, they have no skin in my money game. 😆
Another excellent video Jane and Michael! Honestly I have not subscribed to your video because of “frugality,” but rather because of your resilience and positive attitude under stressful circumstances. You are very steadfast in keeping with your decisions and not veering off track. So admirable. Personally, it’s fun for me to see your British mannerisms which are very much like my mothers. The fact that you live in a beautiful area of France is icing on the cake. I subscribe to just a few frugal, home making and homesteading channels. Keep your budgeting, cooking, gardening and home project videos-they are great! Very motivational! I am now off to the public library to pick up my hold for the book, “The tightwads gazette.” LOL….really I am.
My sister used to goad me to spend and mock me for saving. So I never bothered to tell her when I plunked down 50K cash on a new kitchen and bathroom after saving for it. I wouldn't want to cause more envy or putdowns. I was forced to fix the kitchen, because it was from 1967 and literally falling apart. My sister would pay 100 dollars for blue jeans and I pay eight at second-hand shops, she would pay 200 for a bra and I pay three - they're quality and new; I just know where to shop. She pays 200 for shoes, I pay 50 brand new. I never judged her for any of her decisions and I would never reveal the prices I paid; she just knew it wasn't as much as she would spend, as if paying that much was a sign of status.
The only time that the comments have gotten to me was when they came from family. I am much the same age as you. We have worked hard on being frugal as our intention was to get out of debt as quickly as possible. I was 42 when we paid off our property. At 53 I had to stop working to become full time carer for my husband. Our life of frugal living has meant we have continued to live and live well. We still budget and we still live well. The family member who frugal shamed us all those years ago, has now realised they will be working for many more years in order to get out of the debt they are in.
Excellent subject Jane. It's a sad fact that we have tough times ahead of us and as you said, there are many people who don't have the life skills to live a frugal life. at a time when it is desperately needed. Already there is an air of panic because shortages of food and Christmas merchandise are being talked about on the TV news and in the newspapers. Instead of sensible suggestions on the front pages about how to save energy and maybe make some Christmas gifts or how to avoid the awful February day of reckoning when the credit card bills arrive, the front of some of today's press had doom and gloom in large letters. And still there is a queue outside my local Greggs every morning but not for bread !!!
Those who used to look down their noses at my minimalism and frugality are not laughing now - I retired at 58 to a quirky little cottage near the sea - which I own outright. Frugality is a really creative process ( how can I use this up - what can I do instead of using this or that expensive thing?) We should celebrate this plus, I believe, mist frugal people ( how does it go - use it up, wear it out, or go with out ( or find somat different)) help the planet along in most things that they do!! Call me a frugal eco- minimalist then! Lol!
I was raised by parents who knew what it was like to have nothing. They never believed in credit and they never went on the dole because they believed they should only have what they earned. My parents were great and we had a lovely clean and cosy home. We always had our school dinners that mum and dad payed for. We were lucky that we always went home to a good home cooked meal. I never knew about credit or debt or overspending until I met my ex husband and his family. Now I'm paying an IVA and living on a very strict budget. I will get through and I will continue to be frugal when I'm debt free. I never want to go through such a worrying experience of debt ever again. I have family that frugal shames and friends too, but I will be better off in the long run. I know what it's like to not have a penny piece but that's ok because we have a roof over our heads and food to eat. I tell my sons "always be true to yourself", "do what is right for you and ignore those that judge". Be happy it's your life to live your way. Many thanks Jane and Mike for all the help and advice. Kind regards Angeline ❤️
Thanks for sharing Jane, my partner was frugal shamed at work by someone who knew absolutely nothing about them or the situation. My partner responded by just laughing as they were genuinely amused and asking why would you say that? I think responding like that takes any power away from any intended hurt or criticism.
I've never been frugal shamed but my family, especially my parents who are shopping addicts, often feel sorry for me. I'm 30, still quite young, so they think I'm poor and I can't buy things because I don't earn enough and they give unsolicited advice about my education, professional life and so on. On family meetings I'm treated like that less successful child and compared to my cousins. Luckily, it also comes with gifts because apparently I'm not doing well on my own and I need to be financially taken care of. I'm not going to complain though, I don't remeber when was the last time I had to buy clothes because I'm constantly flooded with hand-me-downs. 😂👍
Excellent points made here, I agree with them all. I can't get over how many people like to tell others what to do with their money - and probably don't notice that no one is telling them...
I like nothing more than going to my local food Bank, Called Junction 7 in the North East the Uk, They get food that would have gone into the land fill, I do not use the food bank I do not have Benefits that low to use it, It helps me to stretch my budget further, I do get shamed by family members, I make some lovely meals, I also shop in the Charity Shops, I hate paying the full prices in the fashion shops, I like to save money where ever i can, I don't have any debt, I am 64 and my Mother brought me up to save for what i want, I love been Frugal, I love watching you, you are a very wise lady, Thank you for taking time to make these lovely videos
I read a quote the other day ''I'm here to feed my family, not please a community'' .. loved that. Also I'm thinking that it won't be long before consumerism is shamed as we should all do out bit to lower our carbon footprint and use what we already have or buy second hand rather than contribute to global warming.
I love your videos. I’ve seen 3 and I will continue seeing them. I started to be frugal three years ago. I retired 3 years ago and I done crazy things with my money. I spend a lot on trips and helping others. It’s my time now. I am enjoying being frugal because I have enough for everything I need and I can save monthly to finish paying my mortgage which is all I owe. Thanks again and I’m glad I browsed RUclips and found you. Blessings from LA.
My husband and I used to work together so we were doubly frugal shamed. However, we were able to work less hours and spend more time doing the things we wanted to because of our frugality. Coworkers would say, “ If I had your money, I would burn mine!” They all knew exactly what we earned but couldn’t understand how we were able to work less hours and make ends meet. We were debt free and still are today. I love watching your videos. Keep up the good work!
Every time someone tries to get to me through shaming I'm reminded what my grandma would say...it's none of your business what others say or think about you. It's their business but not yours! Till this day I remember that saying and it has been a source of strength when people sometimes bring me down.
Good content in this video. I was born during the 70s and I remember much more modest lifestyles as the norm too. Even here in the States,, Families has just 1 car, homes smaller, vacations were to visit relatives, we wore hand-me-downs.
I don’t know if I have ever been frugal shamed, apart from maybe a glance at my car, clothes and shoes from certain people. People do find it interesting but my closest friends are frugal. When I see my colleagues who have brand new cars and are always doing expensive things on social media working overtime during their annual leave, I remember why I live frugally. I can’t draw my occupational pension until I’m 68 sadly but I don’t have to be at work any more than strictly necessary!
Thanks for putting out such a pertinent question, Jane. You've given me a no nonsense answer to fire off at a detractor of my frugal journey. Already mortgage-free. I love your videos and your generosity. Thank you!!
I love your videos! Positive! It is so nice to be able to delve into the frugal world online and surround yourself with likeminded folk! It doesn’t matter what other people say, it’s about you living your own life the way you choose!
I’m choose to be frugal so I have the freedom of choice of how and when to spend my money. I don’t try to keep up with the Joneses. They live their life the way they want to do and I’ll live the way I choose to. Comparison and envy are the thief of joy. Thank you for another insightful video.
Well Jane, your forthrightness is really impressive this afternoon. As far as I'm concerned it the shamers' problem not the person who is being frugal and that is was what we have to remember but having said that it's easier said than done when you are backed into a corner Keep thds6 blogs coming they lighten up and strengthen our resolve to get there - we done
Thanks for sharing this. It has helped me feel alot better about myself. I used to get shamed alot from people. Just bcause i had to have help from foodstsmps i used to hide it and go shopping at nite to have groceries to feed my kids who had special needs and i worked as a stylist and had help with rent.
I think frugal shaming happens quite frequently - thankfully it hasn’t happened to me - I don’t tell anyone how frugal I actually am - but I’m the winner here - I keep my eye on the end goal of early retirement and I’ll be the one reaping the rewards when I’m financially free and they are still working hard - great vlog today Jayne xx
Love that.."keep my eye on the end goal" Good for you! (It's probably easier if we just get on with being frugal ourselves and don't necessarily point it out to others!! )
Do you sleep well at night, Jane? I bet you do! You have your ducks lined up in a row, comfortable knowing everything you have is yours and no one else’s. Those frugal shamers probably toss and turn, worrying about payments and if they’ve kept up with the Jones’s. If I thought what you had to say was rubbish, I’d tune out but you speak the truth no one wants to hear. Keep doing what you’re doing, helping the average Joe and all of those who want to listen. ❤️😊
In my limited experience, I think that 80% - 90% of people I know & interact with are 'frugal shammers'. I'm not sure whether it's a form of bullying, or maybe they're on their own personal power trip, or whether it is a form of 'one up-man-ship'. Does anyone out there understand the psychology of this? Either way, modest living or frugal living, appears to have worked well for me. Been mortgage & debt free for over 32-years. I'm still happy to take a flask of tea & my homemade sandwiches when out for the day. Grow some of my own fruit, veg. & salad leaves in the back garden, ferment my own homemade wine, service, repair & maintain my own (18-year old) car. I go day-trip kayaking instead of annual (expensive) holidays. Etc etc etc; the list could go on quite a bit. In truth, I don't need to be frugal these days, but I continue to choose to. I kind of like it. Is that strange or what? I also grew up in the 60's & 70's in the UK, & remember the financial difficulties that my parents endured. However, with the benefit of both hindsight & knowledge acquired later in life; they had brought most of their financial difficulties upon themselves by their lifestyle choices. These days when people hit me with their frugal shaming nonsense, I simply work into the conversation, that if I want a new car, I could buy a big, luxurious, expensive one - for £50k cash tomorrow. But it wouldn't make me happier; my old Ford Focus that I'd bought new with cash 18-years ago, is still reliable, practical, comfortable, & low mileage. It seems to knock the wind out of their sails a bit - lol. Regards as always, JohnnyK from sunny Colchester. PS. will be pressing my homegrown grapes after lunch to make 6-gallons of wine; cost about 25p - 35p a bottle.
@@FrugalQueeninFrance Maybe it would be a 'great life' if my knackered body wasn't carrying the painful worn-out joints of too many years of very hard work & long hours. And lol; if you saw me having to clean-up my 'bomb-hit' kitchen this morning; after pressing grapes to make the wine yesterday - you might not think I had a great life. It's bubbling away nicely now though. The real benefit for me is that I can sleep better after the years of frugality, knowing that bills are all paid, debt is zero, & life is well prepped for what I think is an approaching period of high inflation & economic recession. I reckon that many of those that 'shame the frugal way of life', might not fair so well during the possible future years of austerity. Your large garden Jane & Mike, would be great for growing some of your own food. Are you considering that? Regards, JohnnyK.
@@johnkay4701 we are indeed, currently we’re building a barn roof so a JCB is on site, chewing up the land. Our next project is to save for French drains as we’ve got springs every where and the water needs to go somewhere. We were a quarry so the soil isn’t great. We will build raised beds when we save. It’s slow but we’ve got years.
I had a family member frugal shame me for not wanting to go on holiday every 5 minutes and not being 'out and about', she says it unhealthy to stay at home all the time (we have a house we are renovating and a 2 acre garden so it's not like I'm sat on my bum all day). I just said "actually I'm building a life I don't feel the need to run away from all the time" she didn't know what to say to that. 🤣🤣
I once had a co worker tell me that he wouldn't have purchased the " run around" car that I'd just picked up. When I told him that I would gladly accept his gift of a new car, he shut up and never mentioned my car again, lolol. If you're going to criticize my frugality, you can bet you'll get a sarcastic response from me !
In Germany we have an expression: "Frugality is not stinginess."("Sparsamkeit ist kein Geiz"). I am not very good at avoiding expenses so I guess other people criticizing me for being too frugal is no major problem. A while back I even tried to tell friends and colleagues to buy stocks or ETFs. Although I do care what people might think about me I obviously didn't care enough to keep my mouth shut. Saving them from being poor at old age seemed more important to me than them probably believing I was rich or stupid or both. The only aspect of my life where I have heard things one might interpret as criticism about being too frugal is when it comes to holidays. I prefer nice meals in the cafeteria on workdays to expensive holidays in a country it takes ages to get to and where I can't stay long enough to get to know it. Even if I learned to cook and could make your frugality tip not to spend money on workday lunches a reality I don't think I would feel comfortable dishing out thousands of Euros moving through foreign countries at high speed checking off the top sights on some list or falling asleep on a beach that could be anywhere. I prefer going somewhere nice and sitting in a café all day letting the atmosphere sink in together with a friend. And you don't have to go far to experience another culture. For example going from Bavaria to Austria shows you a similar mentality and still it's different and even the coffee tastes different.
Oh yes, many times. Loved this video! I buy most items used - I have a new house, but many things from furniture to building materials such as tiles was bought second hand or on clearance. People are wrinkling their nose and some are saying that they would be disgusted of bringing a used sofa into their home. Or the comment from a good friend, "I know you dont care much for clothes and fashion".... When I was wearing the same dress, again. I dont have a good reply when it happens, afterwards I think of things I should have said.. Sometimes comments hurt, but I really dont care, I am a single woman, widow, with a newbuilt house, fulltime work and have been travelling the world. This wouldn´t have been possible if I didnt bring all my luches to work, and living frugally. This weekend I have been hanging up my new set of beautiful second hand curtains in my bedroom. 💕 Good point, I will reflect on that, my "why". Short term it is to finish decorating my house, gravel the driveway, and establishing a garden, long term is definitely being mortgage free before retirement! 🤞Do you think that those comments are based on jealousy? It is hard being frugal and saving instead of spending. Have a good week in beautiful Brittany.
Yes, I have been made fun of but I have never let it bother me. I know what my goals are I would rather live simply and feel more secure with my finances then have nothing. I am about to turn 59 and I am mortgage free as of September and less then $2600 USD in debt now. You are truly an inspiration!
My sister calls me a peasant, and ridicules everything I have or do. When this happens, I have to remember that I have achieved what I have on a single salary in the affluent South East of England, whereas they have had two salaries and live in a much cheaper area in Scotland, and my brother in law is paying higher rate tax on his pension. I've done OK. I am at peace with myself and work hard at deploying my resources as wisely and sustainably as I can manage.
Jane, you are so entertaining...! I loved this vlog so much and this is why I love returning to your channel for an honest sit down chat. Oh yes I have been frugally shamed and people just don't like it if you are not doing things and spending money how they are....it's almost like they want you in debt just like them because it makes them feel better for their bad spending habits and they feel challenged.
I haven't been Frugal Shamed recently but the last time someone did so, I pointed out that by being frugal my husband and I had given up work at 53, bought two properties mortgage free and didn't owe any money. That kinda did the trick. Most of my friends are frugal too so we all get "it".
My husband was public sector and was able to retire early with a pension. I worked for most of our married life but we never relied on my salary to pay the bills. Consequently, our financial choices were based on his earning ability and not mine. We invested in property, lived frugally and didn't do some of the things our friends we're doing. Our holidays were based around camping - not hotels. By the time we were in our early 50s we had no mortgage and a big savings pot so I was able to give up work when my husband retired. I hope that answers your question.
Loved this video Jane sending this to my kids to watch. Had the conversation today with my daughter who’s just bought her first house, about the 70s and before. . I wouldn’t live my life any other way
One of my sisters in law had a part time job before she retired at a large food supermarket. She has always been extremely frugal since she was a child. When she looked at the very inexpensive clothing, her checkout friends would say * are you going to buy that cardigan , it's pretty.* SIL would say ' No, I have worked out how much I have to work to pay for it, and I don't need it * It's probably why she and my brother can afford 4 holidays a year and no money worries now they are retired !
I judge people who AREN'T cheap
Love it!
I remember my lovely father returned his clean used plastic bags to the supermarket packing area for other shoppers to use being shamed by being told ‘they could have germs, it was better to use a new one’. My father was conscripted to serve in the 2nd World war and was frugal all his life, I have the utmost respect for him and all his generation who managed on very little and saved. My parents wrote their shopping list on a cut up piece of cardboard from a cereal packet, they lived a simple life and were happy until they both passed in their 90’s, a wonderful example to me.
They’re great examples
They were the greatest generation! RIP
💜
I have been frugal shamed for years. I was a nurse for over 25 years and always brought my lunch to work. During lunch time people would be eatting their cafeteria food and talk about buying new vehicles, going on vacations. I was driving a used car that was paid for, and I didn't go on any vacations since January 2015 since my husband passed away. I was putting most of my income toward my mortgage. Well now I am mortgage and debt free at 55 and retired. I am now starting a sinking fund labeled trips/vacations. 😊😍
Marilyn, you’re on fire! Go you!
Good for you! Well done x x
Yes, I've been frugal shamed. It was subtle. A couple of friends continually invited me to go out to lunch, coffee, pedicures, massages. I had to constantly say no because we literally did not have 2¢ to spare! Even though I frequently invited these ladies over to my home for coffee and cookies or lunch, they cut me off and stopped being my friend. This was very frustrating when you consider it takes more work to have people over. Now, I'm older & wiser & I'm better at recognizing a true friend.
Those are not friends. You’ve lost nothing there. Know your self worth and you’re better treatment than you received. I am sad that happened to you.
I too am sad that happened to you! Its such a lovely thing to invite people into your home x
When my father passed away, my sisters and I were running around doing all the necessary preparations. When we went to Florist, I could have parked in front and put money in the parking meter, but if I parked on the other side of the street it was free of charge. When I parked across the street, one sister mentioned that wouldn’t you know it, I would park where it was free. Somehow, we were driving in my car, on my gas, but she felt entitled to laugh at my frugality. I didn’t dignify the comment with an answer.
Never explain
I’ve had family and friends joke and call me cheap. Luckily I was born with best gift ever, I never cared what someone thought about me. Being frugal gives me peace of mind. I am debt free. I retired at 58 with a liveable pension from a job of 20 years. I don’t have many frills, but I’ve never been happier. My house isn’t fancy but it’s mortgage free. I’m thankful everyday for my frugal life. I love your videos.🌸🌼🌻🌺
I’m really not bothered either.
That’s so great! When we leave this earth, we can’t take anything with us, so why would we need a fancy house or things like that? I feel very bad for people that try to show me their new car or something that they owe payments on, because they just signed up to work all those years more just to pay it off. I try not to say anything negative, but I truly just feel bad foe them! I just can’t get excited about that. Enjoy your happy, frugal life! 😊😊
You are not cheap you are just wise have you heard the phrase penny wise and pound foolish the ones who pick on you are just ignorant and some of them are conned into spending a large sum of money on a so-called diamond 💍 and it’s a piece of zirconia they paid for because real genuine diamonds are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars How dumb are they really 😄😄😄😄😄😂😂😂😂😂
You are living the dream 🌼
I have found that those who need to shame me for being frugal, are ysyally very deep in debt, have a huge sense if entitlement! And do nit want to change!
My sister always comments on our life choices. I once told her our goal in life is to owe no one anything but love! Also, No is a complete sentence ! Our financial situation is not up to debate. We have been a one income family for over 20 years.
No is a complete sentence, thanks for sharing
I tell everyone who frugal shames me simply ‘I have goals that I’m working toward.’ It usually opens a conversation and ends up being educational for them lol
I LOVE the saying "it's not what you earn, it's what you save". That's great !
Thanks, you're welcome
I have someone in my life whose motto is “I could be dead tomorrow” and uses it as justification to spend lavishly on meals out, holidays and clothes. I then resent comments from this person about choices I make about not doing certain house projects, not replacing items in the house, not replacing my winter coat. I have to let it wash over me, I’m very happy with my choices. As you always say we are lucky to have a warm cosy house and lots of good food, we’re still repaying debts but we have a really good budget and we’re putting savings away for an emergency fund. We’re on a good path now, my frugal shamer can mind their own business!
I hope those people never need long term care in a nursing home like several loved ones in my family. You don’t want to be in the nursing homes that are for the indigent. Mercifully my family planned and got to be where they were cared for beautifully.
Good for you. It's terrible how others can make us feel. Xxxx
They can mind it indeed!
@@dianegribbin3582 I feel if it is your children saying it it is a nice thing to say. If they told you to live frugally so that they can inherit something some day that would sound somewhat understandable but still a little selfish to me.
Years ago, my husband and I were being extremely frugal to save $$ while building a home. We were living on-site in a 10' x 16' tiny building. We were crowded but comfortable and very willing to temporarily live that way to save thousands of $$. A friend visited and didn't stay long. As she drove away, she said, " I wouldn't stay with my husband if he did this to me!". What she didn't understand or let me say was that we had decided as a couple to live that way for awhile. My husband wasn't forcing me at all. Years later, when we had a nice, payed-for home, she admitted that she'd give almost anything to have what we had. Sometimes it's not worth saying anything....time will reveal that truth...
That was humble of her to admit it.
Well done on what you achieved
I don't remember ever being shamed probably because I wouldn't care. My Father told me, "You worry about what other people think about you when they start paying your bills". I've never forgotten that, never. My husband and I retired in our 50's. My Father was right about everything in that statement. I'm 67 now and my husband is 70. We are grateful. we don't have to work or worry about money and are quite comfortable. We are in the USA and 2016 to 2020 has not been the easiest for for many in our country, but we are financially fine. Also my Mother always said to save half of any dollar. She was right too. Enjoying your channel and look forward to traveling to Europe when this damn pandemic is over.
I love what your father said, so true!
Thanks Darlene, I hope that you enjoy your travels
“Save half of every dollar.” Wise words that can lead to fiscal freedom. Best to you. 🙂
Such wise words from your father x
Well said! We have lived frugally for many years. I have been looked down on because of work choices. I had several cleaning jobs, and comments were made by others. What they didn't know was that I was self employed as well, and the cleaning wages were going towards paying off our mortgage, knocked 12 years off. We are now debt free. I value simplicity, and know that we are really lucky to have a roof over our heads and food to eat, we don't need more. Life throws things at you, we've had redundancy and ill health in the last two years. Thank goodness we were in a better position to cope. I feel it's never too late to make changes.
You have worked hard and those are great achievements
Well done to you you have done what's right for you.ive been looked down on by numerous people for being a cleaner but as I get older I couldn't care less what people think it's a good honest job and you can pick your hours.all the very best to you❤️
I have been fortunate that people have congratulated me for retiring early and debt free, while being a sole parent for many years. They ask for advise on how they can achieve the same. Be sensible with your money, work hard, plan for your future and get out of debt. When my siblings and I were children my parents told us "If you want something, work and earn it. Don't expect other people to dump things in your lap." A Good lesson in life.
I am guilty of noticing people who I think are not frugal, i.e. $5 a day for coffee, 5 days a week adds up to $100 a month. There are a lot of other things I could spend on that much money, or save.
I got horribly shamed at work for everyday bringing a thermos of coffee, and a refillable water bottle and a cooler to keep my lunch of leftovers. I explained that I am not spending the daily $10-20 on beverages and food daily at work. I instead choose to save that money to vacation 2-3 weeks a year. While still padding my retirement savings. They finally learned to stop asking.
I said to a friend “I try not to spend money I don’t need to” he replied “and you don’t spend money you should”. It’s no one else’s business what you should be spending your money on x
My old dad used to say Willful waste brings Woeful want. It's still true today.
@@printerudell3604 "Waste not, want not."
Everyone's got an opinion, we can though stick to our own ideals
When I was engaged in the 1970's I was earning $80 a week. I paid my mum $10 board, I paid $10 for bus fare to/from work and I kept $10 a week for anything else. I banked $50 a week. My fiance also saved .We bought our house when we married a year later at 18 and 21 respectively. Rather than everyone being happy for us we got a lot of 'arent you lucky'? No, not luck, pure determination.
Oh yes, I have been judged over the years. It used to upset me when I was younger and newly widowed with 2 young boys. It was in the 80's when interest rates on the mortgages went over 15% I had to really tighten my belt. I struggled big time but we got through it because as a child in the early 50's we had so little. My salary was always modest so I had to be frugal to make it stretch and it has become a way of life. Now I don't even try and justify myself when people comment. Contentment comes when you are happy with your lot in life in your own home with a close family around you
Contentment is the answer
We have the same experience, I was widowed in 2005 with 2 small boys, 5 and 6 years old. I had no job, was a stay at home mother. Had to sell our house and start again in s run down flat. Got a job, fixed it up to sell, and took on another project, building my equity. People around me stopped joking, and today I live in my newbuild house, on a little homestead/smallholding to be. I got a mortgage, but working on reducing it every month, by being frugal. 👍
I rarely have anyone do this. If they start paying all my bills, they can give me their opinion. He he. I adore you.
Exactly
I loved today's chat. I became a stay at home mother when my youngest son was born and we were faced with autism issues. Staying home and teaching him to function was the best gift I have ever gotten, frugality played a very important role in our lives it made it easier to stay home and teach him things that at school were not being taught to him. Currently he is a freshman in community college and he's doing well of course while we still practice frugality to help him along while we still save for our retirement. No shame here. The friends who couldn't understand I dropped along time ago.
Thanks for watching and commenting
You gave your son a precious gift of your time and attention. Love that
My mother who passed away 8 years ago , and was 6 when war (WWII) broke out had a very harsh childhood in Portugal, and in her very late years when she saw so much good food being thrown away she would often say harsh times will come back mark my words, I'm so glad that I had her teachings making do with as little as possible.
She was very right
In the 70’s my mum was a single parent. Times were hard! She budgeted by what she called “Borrowing from Peter to pay Paul”. As long as the mortgage was paid every month the other bills would be paid in turn. The coal man was a special gentleman who used to let us have coal thru the winter and mum would catch up thru the summer. I remember mum not having food at tea time and telling us kids that she’d already had food. It was only when I was older that I realised that mums weight loss was because she was going without to feed us! There was a lady on our estate who used to put her nose in the air at our way of life but she was more than happy to let a 12 year old (me) babysit her kids every fri night! It was the only “ pocket money” I had but I enjoyed having it and I moved on to working in a hair salon at 14 on a sat but I then had to buy my own school shoes lol. I’ve worked from 14 to 50 , always had a job and always been independent because of the strong mother I had. Unfortunately now I can’t work for medical reasons and it’s hard getting benefits even though I’ve paid into the system and yet there are hundreds claiming huge amounts that have NEVER worked. If that’s not shaming I don’t know what is?! I’ve struggled for what I have and I continue to struggle but I’ve cut out all the “ shamers” out of my life and I’m much happier. Thanks for the vlog, it was just what I needed this morning. Xx
Thanks for sharing
I talked the other day, about my dad in the 60's laid on the sofa after a week working down the pits with two 1/4 bags of sweets, he thought he had got the world! it made me very emotional.
I remember only having sweets just once in a while.
Funny story. My Polish grandmother had a credit with the corner store owner. She would buy what she needed (basics) and pay the store keeper on the Friday when my grandfather got paid. I thought this was a fantastic idea. I went in every day myself and put candy, pop and crisps on her credit. I was 8 years old. Lol. Boy I got it good come payday Friday. 🤣.
@@FrugalQueeninFrance totally, it was different times
@@fredrika8011 so funny but logical seen through a small child’s eyes 😂
Totally agree with what you say. I've found that most people that make remarks about being frugal are actually saying them to make themselves feel better about their habits and not feel bad because they can't save or wait for things, themselves. My children, as adults, realize in many ways, how a frugal lifestyle gives them safety, less stress, and allows them to reach their financial goals.
A colleague was annoyed with me yesterday. She said why arent you going to the Christmas party? The patient I was caring for stuck up for me in his semi conscious state and said he realised years ago that work Christmas parties were never worth going to and hes not been to one in decades. Then another colleague called those of us not participating in the work secret Santa bah humbugs. I havent said the real reason is my husband hasn't been able to work for 6 months, but maybe I should. I love your channel and have been binging on it all week. I've found it to be a real encouragement at this time as I'm not sure my husband will work again and its encouraged me that him going on a pension or lower wage will not be the end of the world, but the beginning of a new more frugal adventure.
are those people criticizing you paying for you to go or participate? If not, it’s not their business.
Great topic! I have actually found that explaining why I am frugal actually piques interest and some respect sometimes. Especially with my ex colleagues, as we were all under paid and struggling! Many of them used to read my blog! However I feel it has caused a chasm between me and better off friends, who seem irritated by me not choosing to go on a girls weekend or out for dinner. I’m not impressed with their fancy houses/cars/ holidays and as a result we have drifted apart. I find it hard to find people IRL who proudly live the way I do, which is a shame. But I love my life and am grateful every day that we are debt free and I no longer have to go out to work (unlike most of my old friends!). Instead I can earn enough to get by doing things I really enjoy, and I have more precious time. It’s great to find online frugal folk with the same attitudes.
That’s superb. The yolo remarks came from people who are still working whilst we are living a different life.
Same experience here!
Yes, bulk buying and batch cooking, reducing portions and taking lunches to work for decades and handmaking Christmas presents were often met with gasps and uncomfortable smiles... thankfully I have made peace with the way I like to live and what's important to me, (even if it's isn't what others might choose) and I am happy to let others live the way they choose.
We really enjoy your chats! Your mentioning of life in Britain in the 70s brought me back to life in Britain in the 50s and 60s when we had so much less, but knew how to make do. Everything was mended and reused, not thrown away and replaced. How many people know how to darn a sock these days? Sometimes I watch old episodes of Coronation Street from the 60s on RUclips just to be reminded of what it was like, a lesson in humility and gratitude.
Thanks for sharing
I darn socks and mend little holes and pulls. Repair my husband’s work clothes. Simple common sense.
I love darning socks. I get immense sense of satisfaction 🙂
Oh yes what a great program Jane you have hit the nail on the head ,people who criticise a frugal ways are probably jealous that they aren't in the same position as us! Who knows your coat ,shoes or jumper came from the charity shop if you don't tell them ! One man's trash is another's treasure.🤑
Thanks Jeanne.
All my life I was careful with spending...the priority was to live debt free and save as much as possible. Was morgage free at 52. When I turned 60, I lost the job I had for 31 years, and fond myself unemplyed in a week's time. Best thing that ever happened. I had the means to stay retired and now, at 65, happy about very choice I made.
Good for you, I can recommend retirement
I have been shamed for taking old shopping bags back to the store to re-use each week instead of buying new bags everytime (which I just worked out that it adds an extra $1.20 to my weeks shopping bill, that's a whopping $62.40, that is equal to a week's worth of food). I looked at the cashier and thanked her for her concern and said "you do you, and I'll do me"
I was able to resign and retire early from a job that I despised . Last day is next week . Mortgage paid off - school loans paid off and money in the bank . My husband and I are very grateful for what we have and are looking forward to leaving the “rat race “.
Good luck in the future.
Great news
Wishing you every happiness❤️
Thanks !!!!
Congratulations! Hope the last year has been great x
Absolutely I have, when I worked and had charity shop clothes, had yellow sticker food, a lodger. Some but not all workmates looked down on me. Not now I retired at 55. Now heading off to Athens on Tuesday mortgage paid and have healthy savings and pension.x
That’s awesome, thanks for sharing
Enjoy your trip, you deserve it.
Enjoy your holiday, you’ve earned it.
I got frugal shamed over a holiday this year. I set a firm budget for what I could afford to spend on it when, out of the blue, the cost of the holiday was increased by £200 so I pulled out. The rest of the group tried everything to get me to spend the extra money but it wasn't in my budget so I stood firm and said no. I've heard since that I was called everything for pulling out - that I'd let them down, that I'd refused to accept the offer of a loan for the extra money, and that I could have afforded to go if I'd really wanted to. The simple fact is that I'd set my limit and refused to go above it.
Good for you !
I was once looked down upon with my then fixer upper home. I made it beautiful and then sold. With this so far seven year fixer upper I have no mortgage. People stop on their walks and tell me what a wonderful job we have done and complement the gardens. I may put this one on the market and move near my children now I am of advanced years. I was a thrifty minimalist before such things were fashionable.
I’m drawn to minimalism too
Three comments come to mind. A coworker used to say “wearing that again?” A neighbor said your car is a good starter car. Another acquaintance shamed us for not going to a concert ( I didn’t want to see) and dinner beforehand. $250 for one night! No thanks!
This month has been stressful. Washer/dryer gave up so we bought new on credit! My cats had an unexpected $1400 vet bill and my vacuum cleaner needed repairing. Extreme frugality for us now. No extra spending period and I’ve cut my grocery bill in half. We’ll get through it.
@Tina Lemna all will be well, you have a plan. Good luck.
@@mae9064 thank you ❤️
When someone says to me, "Wearing that again?", my reply is "Don't you have favorites too?" They shut-up really quickly. Lol rude questions require a rude answer.
You will get there Tina
I heard "it's not how much you make, it's how much you save" years ago and that always stuck with me. I love being debt/mortgage free because I love having the money I make going into my bank account and not to credit card companies or lending institutions. My brother and a few friends are always complaining that they need to make more money because they can't get by, even though what they already make is quite substantial but it's all due to reckless spending and buying things they really can't afford. But if you can't manage what you currently earn, making more will NOT solve your problems. Excellent video, thank you!
Thanks Janie
Hi Jane I could give you a hug. Would you believe I was at the hairdresser's with my sister today. We were chatting away about the cost of living going up. Then she turned to the hairdresser and said that she had rich man's tastes but on a poor man's purse unlike my sister (me) who has a rich man's purse and poor man's taste. I didn't know what to say. I love her dearly, but she insists on going to the more expensive supermarkets. . Hates charity shops. Everything has to have a name. . I love mending ,up cycling, charity shops and happy to shop at Lidl. Hence I have the money and she hasn't. At times I even feel guilty. But that's a long story .
You have made me feel better tonight. Thanks xxxxxxxxxxxx
Happy to help
Imo no reason to feel guilty! You make your choices, she makes hers.
Thinking of your question, 'have we ever been frugal shamed' it comes to mind...a while ago a very close friend of mine, was cruelly giving her opinion about the way we live, and laughing about our lifestyle and calling us ' the Hillbillies'. I politely lessened my contact with that friend. Who needs disrespect in life from that sort of attitude....a few years later, the lady concerned had her home taken from her and was made bankrupt, being thousands of pounds in debt. We took her and her family in for a short time to help.......Although I don't like to sound mean but I couldn't but think ' Karma' !!!!!!!
You weren’t mean. You took her and her family in. That’s incredibly kind.
That's very forgiving of your Margaret
I really related to this post as people have commented on our thrifty lifestyle but when we both semi retired at 52 those same people said " boy it must be nice to work so little. " My reply is always the same " it sure is nice" with a big smile. Another point is that frugalling is a wonderful environmental choice. My family loves your pasties that we now make. Keep up the great job!
Thanks Arlene
I love your channel. No, I've never been shamed for being frugal but I've been shamed for not being frugal and I listened and am still learning to be frugal. You are my inspiration and I appreciate your wisdom about being frugal. We're already in a recession or about to be in one very soon and the best way to plan for that is to live your life (save and be frugal) so that when an unexpected recession happens your way of living will not suffer.
Thanks for your kind words
I was ridiculed by friends and colleagues but whilst they live their debt, I put 40% down on my house, and fingers crossed and frugal living to the max, I'll have hopefully paid off my mortgage in 5.5 years. That's every spare penny, pay rise, extra work thrown at the mortgage. Have I lost anything by not going on holiday abroad, no. Have Iost anything learning to sew and buy from charity shops, no. Do I care what wanna bes have or buy, no. I once watched a video on RUclips and a phrase that has stuck with me has been 'if you have to eat macaroni and cheese because you can't afford anything else, it's better in a paid off house than under a bridge. Life happens so I'm after a paid.off house as quickly as possible at the age of 61. I so admire people who are frugal and always looking to learn more.
Paying off the mortgage is amazing
I truly believe you and the struggle it is. I've found so many helpful hints, tips and moral boosters from you and Mike for all the years I've followed you. I saved your old blog posts so I revisit them when feeling low to give me a perk up and they always do.
Do you know what, I really haven't experienced this shaming. My family especially is really good at live and let live, which is our great family strength I think! Only, a few months into zero-based budgeting, my good friend finally took my aside and asked if I was ok financially because I kept telling her "I can't afford it". Of course what I really meant the whole time was "I have decided not allocate money to it". I told her I just wanted to smash down the mortgage and she seemed to understand.
I'm glad your friend was sensible and worried about you instead of making fun of you or not being your friend anymore 😊
I also have been frugally shamed and I am not really even truly frugal! People just need to learn to mind their business, but they never will I suppose. If you are not frugal and live above your means, the exact same people will 'shame' you for that! They just enjoy and get a buzz from not minding their business. It is amazing! I have decided not to respond with the appropriate retort, at the most telling the miscreant to mind its business and then I walk away. Thank you for the video! (And it is worth remembering that your left-overs are probably nicer than their tragic shop bought sandwich!)
Thanks Daniel.
8:40 “We are the people who’ve got the skills to survive this.” This section is inspiring and fantastic. Important to realize that frugality is not a current fad, it is a return to traditional values practiced by those who survived hard times in the past. Love how passionate you are here. It’s obvious how much you care about helping others.
Cheers Mabel and thanks for watching
Good comment Mabel. I think that the western countries are overdue a dire recession, due largely to the amount of QE, debt & politically expedient poor decisions by those in government. If the SHTF, even in a modest way; those that live well within their means, mend & make do, & have resourceful skills, will then out perform those that have lived the 'high life' in recent years. Regards, JohnnyK.
Love your videos, I'm from 🇺🇸 America and have been laughed at for the past 30 years for living in the mountains on many acres in a small house. My family and friends stayed in the city buying big new houses with new cars, we preferred to own things. Retirement is coming here in a few years and I'm seeing more people that I know starting new mortgages and I'm thinking I'm happy I chose to live under my pocketbook. In America people look down on others for driving old cars or living in small simple houses but it's paying off as the cities have killings and looting with the socity changing to socialism. It makes me happy that I'm able to have fresh air to breathe, a safer neighborhood and now I can justify my frugal choices in life.
Your life sounds glorious
During the pandemic we had (long term) colleagues who were frequent "frugal shamers" in a complete panic because they thought they might lose their jobs and were in debt up to their necks; I was asked why I wasn't worried. I just smiled and pointed out that I was intentionally mortgage free before I had my kids (31) and have remained debt free ever since. We now have a little group who get together over our packed lunches from home rather than getting together over coffee in the on-site Costa :)
Good for you. Peace of mind is always better than big payments
Thank you so much for this, Jane. Love your vlog 😊. We have someone who is always commenting on how we should do things and live our lives. Renovating our house has been frugal, and on a budget, as is our lifestyle but we are very happy. We do the majority of the repairs and maintenance on our house wherever possible as it saves money. We grocery shop for generics only and shop around when we need to make big purchases (such as appliances). We have no debt or mortgage and recently retired in our mid fifties. We also have one old car which we won't be upgrading any time soon. We are by no means perfect but we always give things a go. 😄
Giving things a go is our motto too
Hi! I just found your channel, and I love what you have said about being shamed for being frugal. Being frugal is NOT being cheap but using your money WISELY. I live in Texas, U.S.A., and we like the rest of the world are experiencing the high cost of living, too. The big plus about frugal living is it makes one focus on what is really important. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for watching
I've been told "I couldn't bear living in that pokey little house" by people who are having their housing paid for them on benefits!
This "pokey little house" is what we could afford to get a foot on the ladder in our 50s/60s after years of tied accommodation and we're very lucky to have it!
Good for you Jackie
I have a friend who thinks I'm mistaken for living frugally. She always points out that I could die tomorrow. My response is that the odds are that I won't and I need to make sure that I can at least maintain the lifestyle I have now even if it's not extravagant and I don't buy everything I desire. I'm comfortable. I need to reduce some debt and save up for an emergency fund and a newer car, I'm not going to be able to do that if I'm not frugal.
You're right! We're all in a budget crunch right now and we are the people who can get through more easily.
Good luck with the debt repayments and saving for your emergency fund
Jane, loved this money chat. It's encouraging and sensible. Keep it up! As for me, there is no shame in my game. When someone asks, "Why don't you spend...etc. etc." my answer is "I don't want to." Frugality is fun for me the way shopping is for some other people.
Good for you
fantastic chat ive saved this video so i can replay again and again to get its total benefit thank you Jane for your practical common sense and positive outlook its so refreshing love your videos
One of the best frugal videos I've seen. I was one of those who wasted money on shopping snd eating out. My family never budgeted at all. It took retirement to make me realize the time to be frugal is now.
I have for sure been frugal shamed. I remember in college, I would tell these wealthy friends who were supported by their parents that I couldn't afford to go out for a drink. I was an intern and barely able to pay my bills. One of my friends joked, "Do you have a secret drug habit?" And I was like, no, I actually pay my rent, phone bill, car insurance, etc. They had no idea because they'd never paid for those things themselves. I've always lived on a budget and maybe have been known to be "cheap" which is an insult here in the US. But I find what I need at the prices I want to spend, so it's working out for me. :) I really enjoy your videos, thank you for taking the time to make them.
It’s always best to pay our own way. Thanks for watching and sharing
It's society! The I want it now! I'm so grateful for all the things I have, the security of having an emergency fund makes sleeping at night easier. I don't like shopping, I don't like clutter! I save money for the things I love, like my kids future or travel. Thanks for your videos, lots of wonderful ideas xxx
Thanks for watching
What keeps me going and is something I really enjoy,is stretching our grocery budget,having my little envelope with my grocery money and being as frugal as possible with it.its fun and a challenge to use up everything,be mindful and see the extra money you save ,our goal is to stop living paycheck to paycheck.im working towards saving for next months expenses
You are doing well Carol.
My husband retired at 55. We have no mortgage. We are independent retirees. I have recently retired due to Covid and we live happily managing with our reduced incomes. I have four kids, three out of four are frugal and good savers, my oldest although he earns very well, his income is never enough. I have not been frugal shamed as I have friends who are also frugal.
Thanks for sharing
Nay sayers have never bothered me...my stress level compared to theirs is priceless.
We are debt free except for a small mortgage. We have been told too that we have a nice, clean homey house..I can live with that.😊
Thats what I have been so amazed about, how I am still getting the same money but my stress levels have gone to nothing about money, its almost as if the amount is more
Thanks for sharing
Hello just found you from the Frugalwood site. Love your content. I have always said I was born dirt poor and so I can be poor again. But I am so grateful for what I have and looking forward to retiring in about 5 years
Thank you for taking the time to comment
Great video. I have been fortunate to not have been frugal shamed to my face but I have had people misinterpret my frugality for poverty and try to offer me money "to help me out". I explain that I am fine, just frugal in order to meet some goals that I have. My heart breaks when I read the comments below of the rudeness people have encountered. I agree with you that I do not owe anyone an explanation but if someone was shaming toward me, I just would not keep them in my life. I suppose it is hard to totally get rid of co-workers you see each day but I would limit my contact with someone who tried to shame anyone about anything.
We’re all subject to criticism at some point. I mostly ignore it.
I’ve learned the art of pointing the finger back at them. WHY DO YOU CARE what WE DO with the money WE MAKE & YOU DON’T CONTRIBUTE TO? I have learned that people who ‘frugal shame’ (or any “shame” really) feel as if you making your choices are basically telling them that their choices are dumb. Which they may or may not be but usually we are “being shamed” because our different choices, when they find out our different choices, they feel as if they should be doing some of the same things we are but don’t want to, so thus become bullies. It’s the same the world over. Usually when I ask them if they are paying my bills & if they want to mouth their contributions into my life, they need to start paying up because without having money being forked over, they have no skin in my money game. 😆
I love your last sentence
People who frugally shame are usually all top show as my dad use to say fur coat and no knickers. They try to shame you because they are jealous
Another excellent video Jane and Michael! Honestly I have not subscribed to your video because of “frugality,” but rather because of your resilience and positive attitude under stressful circumstances. You are very steadfast in keeping with your decisions and not veering off track. So admirable. Personally, it’s fun for me to see your British mannerisms which are very much like my mothers. The fact that you live in a beautiful area of France is icing on the cake. I subscribe to just a few frugal, home making and homesteading channels. Keep your budgeting, cooking, gardening and home project videos-they are great! Very motivational! I am now off to the public library to pick up my hold for the book, “The tightwads gazette.” LOL….really I am.
Welcome and enjoy our videos
When you know, you know. Well said
Thanks
My sister used to goad me to spend and mock me for saving. So I never bothered to tell her when I plunked down 50K cash on a new kitchen and bathroom after saving for it. I wouldn't want to cause more envy or putdowns. I was forced to fix the kitchen, because it was from 1967 and literally falling apart. My sister would pay 100 dollars for blue jeans and I pay eight at second-hand shops, she would pay 200 for a bra and I pay three - they're quality and new; I just know where to shop. She pays 200 for shoes, I pay 50 brand new. I never judged her for any of her decisions and I would never reveal the prices I paid; she just knew it wasn't as much as she would spend, as if paying that much was a sign of status.
Some choices don’t make sense do they
The only time that the comments have gotten to me was when they came from family. I am much the same age as you. We have worked hard on being frugal as our intention was to get out of debt as quickly as possible. I was 42 when we paid off our property. At 53 I had to stop working to become full time carer for my husband. Our life of frugal living has meant we have continued to live and live well. We still budget and we still live well. The family member who frugal shamed us all those years ago, has now realised they will be working for many more years in order to get out of the debt they are in.
You have done well Jane.
Excellent subject Jane.
It's a sad fact that we have tough times ahead of us and as you said, there are many people who don't have the life skills to live a frugal life. at a time when it is desperately needed.
Already there is an air of panic because shortages of food and Christmas merchandise are being talked about on the TV news and in the newspapers.
Instead of sensible suggestions on the front pages about how to save energy and maybe make some Christmas gifts or how to avoid the awful February day of reckoning when the credit card bills arrive, the front of some of today's press had doom and gloom in large letters.
And still there is a queue outside my local Greggs every morning but not for bread !!!
The expression about leading a horse to water comes to mind
Those who used to look down their noses at my minimalism and frugality are not laughing now - I retired at 58 to a quirky little cottage near the sea - which I own outright. Frugality is a really creative process ( how can I use this up - what can I do instead of using this or that expensive thing?) We should celebrate this plus, I believe, mist frugal people ( how does it go - use it up, wear it out, or go with out ( or find somat different)) help the planet along in most things that they do!! Call me a frugal eco- minimalist then! Lol!
I love that frugality inspires creativity
I was raised by parents who knew what it was like to have nothing. They never believed in credit and they never went on the dole because they believed they should only have what they earned. My parents were great and we had a lovely clean and cosy home. We always had our school dinners that mum and dad payed for. We were lucky that we always went home to a good home cooked meal. I never knew about credit or debt or overspending until I met my ex husband and his family. Now I'm paying an IVA and living on a very strict budget. I will get through and I will continue to be frugal when I'm debt free. I never want to go through such a worrying experience of debt ever again. I have family that frugal shames and friends too, but I will be better off in the long run. I know what it's like to not have a penny piece but that's ok because we have a roof over our heads and food to eat. I tell my sons "always be true to yourself", "do what is right for you and ignore those that judge". Be happy it's your life to live your way. Many thanks Jane and Mike for all the help and advice. Kind regards Angeline ❤️
Thanks for sharing
Thanks for sharing Jane, my partner was frugal shamed at work by someone who knew absolutely nothing about them or the situation. My partner responded by just laughing as they were genuinely amused and asking why would you say that? I think responding like that takes any power away from any intended hurt or criticism.
Great response.
I've never been frugal shamed but my family, especially my parents who are shopping addicts, often feel sorry for me. I'm 30, still quite young, so they think I'm poor and I can't buy things because I don't earn enough and they give unsolicited advice about my education, professional life and so on. On family meetings I'm treated like that less successful child and compared to my cousins. Luckily, it also comes with gifts because apparently I'm not doing well on my own and I need to be financially taken care of. I'm not going to complain though, I don't remeber when was the last time I had to buy clothes because I'm constantly flooded with hand-me-downs. 😂👍
Thanks for sharing
Excellent points made here, I agree with them all. I can't get over how many people like to tell others what to do with their money - and probably don't notice that no one is telling them...
It amazes me.
I like nothing more than going to my local food Bank, Called Junction 7 in the North East the Uk, They get food that would have gone into the land fill, I do not use the food bank I do not have Benefits that low to use it, It helps me to stretch my budget further, I do get shamed by family members, I make some lovely meals, I also shop in the Charity Shops, I hate paying the full prices in the fashion shops, I like to save money where ever i can, I don't have any debt, I am 64 and my Mother brought me up to save for what i want, I love been Frugal, I love watching you, you are a very wise lady, Thank you for taking time to make these lovely videos
Thanks for watching and commenting and sharing
I read a quote the other day ''I'm here to feed my family, not please a community'' .. loved that. Also I'm thinking that it won't be long before consumerism is shamed as we should all do out bit to lower our carbon footprint and use what we already have or buy second hand rather than contribute to global warming.
Good point
I love your videos. I’ve seen 3 and I will continue seeing them. I started to be frugal three years ago. I retired 3 years ago and I done crazy things with my money. I spend a lot on trips and helping others. It’s my time now. I am enjoying being frugal because I have enough for everything I need and I can save monthly to finish paying my mortgage which is all I owe. Thanks again and I’m glad I browsed RUclips and found you. Blessings from LA.
Thanks for sharing!!
My husband and I used to work together so we were doubly frugal shamed. However, we were able to work less hours and spend more time doing the things we wanted to because of our frugality. Coworkers would say, “ If I had your money, I would burn mine!” They all knew exactly what we earned but couldn’t understand how we were able to work less hours and make ends meet. We were debt free and still are today. I love watching your videos. Keep up the good work!
Thanks Cynthia, things worked out really well for you,
Every time someone tries to get to me through shaming I'm reminded what my grandma would say...it's none of your business what others say or think about you. It's their business but not yours! Till this day I remember that saying and it has been a source of strength when people sometimes bring me down.
Our grandmother's were right, they would also have the manners not to criticise strangers online too.
Excellent video. I think this will help a lot of younger viewers who are under pressure to spend spend spend. Coffees, labels, cars, etc etc.
It’s awful that anyone feels pressured
I wish I'd had your tips right back to schooldays 55 years ago. When criticism started about what I wore and what I had to eat.
Hi Angela, hold your head high
Good content in this video. I was born during the 70s and I remember much more modest lifestyles as the norm too. Even here in the States,, Families has just 1 car, homes smaller, vacations were to visit relatives, we wore hand-me-downs.
Your memories are like mine
I don’t know if I have ever been frugal shamed, apart from maybe a glance at my car, clothes and shoes from certain people. People do find it interesting but my closest friends are frugal. When I see my colleagues who have brand new cars and are always doing expensive things on social media working overtime during their annual leave, I remember why I live frugally. I can’t draw my occupational pension until I’m 68 sadly but I don’t have to be at work any more than strictly necessary!
You are making great choices Sarah
Thanks for putting out such a pertinent question, Jane. You've given me a no nonsense answer to fire off at a detractor of my frugal journey. Already mortgage-free. I love your videos and your generosity. Thank you!!
You’re welcome
I love your videos! Positive! It is so nice to be able to delve into the frugal world online and surround yourself with likeminded folk! It doesn’t matter what other people say, it’s about you living your own life the way you choose!
Thanks
I’m choose to be frugal so I have the freedom of choice of how and when to spend my money. I don’t try to keep up with the Joneses. They live their life the way they want to do and I’ll live the way I choose to. Comparison and envy are the thief of joy. Thank you for another insightful video.
I certainly don’t follow trends either
Financial enlightenment. Never heard that. That’s it. Glad I’m on this end now. Thank you so much.
Thanks for the feedback
Well Jane, your forthrightness is really impressive this afternoon. As far as I'm concerned it the shamers' problem not the person who is being frugal and that is was what we have to remember but having said that it's easier said than done when you are backed into a corner
Keep thds6 blogs coming they lighten up and strengthen our resolve to get there - we done
Thanks for watching and commenting
Thanks for sharing this. It has helped me feel alot better about myself. I used to get shamed alot from people. Just bcause i had to have help from foodstsmps i used to hide it and go shopping at nite to have groceries to feed my kids who had special needs and i worked as a stylist and had help with rent.
People are rude aren't they! Plenty of working people are struggling due to low wages.
I think frugal shaming happens quite frequently - thankfully it hasn’t happened to me - I don’t tell anyone how frugal I actually am - but I’m the winner here - I keep my eye on the end goal of early retirement and I’ll be the one reaping the rewards when I’m financially free and they are still working hard - great vlog today Jayne xx
It does happen. Spending money is normal.
Love that.."keep my eye on the end goal"
Good for you! (It's probably easier if we just get on with being frugal ourselves and don't necessarily point it out to others!! )
Do you sleep well at night, Jane? I bet you do! You have your ducks lined up in a row, comfortable knowing everything you have is yours and no one else’s. Those frugal shamers probably toss and turn, worrying about payments and if they’ve kept up with the Jones’s.
If I thought what you had to say was rubbish, I’d tune out but you speak the truth no one wants to hear. Keep doing what you’re doing, helping the average Joe and all of those who want to listen. ❤️😊
Thanks Julie
In my limited experience, I think that 80% - 90% of people I know & interact with are 'frugal shammers'. I'm not sure whether it's a form of bullying, or maybe they're on their own personal power trip, or whether it is a form of 'one up-man-ship'. Does anyone out there understand the psychology of this?
Either way, modest living or frugal living, appears to have worked well for me. Been mortgage & debt free for over 32-years. I'm still happy to take a flask of tea & my homemade sandwiches when out for the day. Grow some of my own fruit, veg. & salad leaves in the back garden, ferment my own homemade wine, service, repair & maintain my own (18-year old) car. I go day-trip kayaking instead of annual (expensive) holidays. Etc etc etc; the list could go on quite a bit.
In truth, I don't need to be frugal these days, but I continue to choose to. I kind of like it. Is that strange or what?
I also grew up in the 60's & 70's in the UK, & remember the financial difficulties that my parents endured. However, with the benefit of both hindsight & knowledge acquired later in life; they had brought most of their financial difficulties upon themselves by their lifestyle choices.
These days when people hit me with their frugal shaming nonsense, I simply work into the conversation, that if I want a new car, I could buy a big, luxurious, expensive one - for £50k cash tomorrow. But it wouldn't make me happier; my old Ford Focus that I'd bought new with cash 18-years ago, is still reliable, practical, comfortable, & low mileage. It seems to knock the wind out of their sails a bit - lol.
Regards as always, JohnnyK from sunny Colchester.
PS. will be pressing my homegrown grapes after lunch to make 6-gallons of wine; cost about 25p - 35p a bottle.
What a great life you live John.
@@FrugalQueeninFrance Maybe it would be a 'great life' if my knackered body wasn't carrying the painful worn-out joints of too many years of very hard work & long hours. And lol; if you saw me having to clean-up my 'bomb-hit' kitchen this morning; after pressing grapes to make the wine yesterday - you might not think I had a great life. It's bubbling away nicely now though.
The real benefit for me is that I can sleep better after the years of frugality, knowing that bills are all paid, debt is zero, & life is well prepped for what I think is an approaching period of high inflation & economic recession. I reckon that many of those that 'shame the frugal way of life', might not fair so well during the possible future years of austerity.
Your large garden Jane & Mike, would be great for growing some of your own food. Are you considering that? Regards, JohnnyK.
@@johnkay4701 we are indeed, currently we’re building a barn roof so a JCB is on site, chewing up the land. Our next project is to save for French drains as we’ve got springs every where and the water needs to go somewhere. We were a quarry so the soil isn’t great. We will build raised beds when we save. It’s slow but we’ve got years.
I had a family member frugal shame me for not wanting to go on holiday every 5 minutes and not being 'out and about', she says it unhealthy to stay at home all the time (we have a house we are renovating and a 2 acre garden so it's not like I'm sat on my bum all day). I just said "actually I'm building a life I don't feel the need to run away from all the time" she didn't know what to say to that. 🤣🤣
That’s a good point. We are happy at home. We don’t need to go out.
I once had a co worker tell me that he wouldn't have purchased the " run around" car that I'd just picked up. When I told him that I would gladly accept his gift of a new car, he shut up and never mentioned my car again, lolol. If you're going to criticize my frugality, you can bet you'll get a sarcastic response from me !
Yes to that!
In Germany we have an expression: "Frugality is not stinginess."("Sparsamkeit ist kein Geiz"). I am not very good at avoiding expenses so I guess other people criticizing me for being too frugal is no major problem. A while back I even tried to tell friends and colleagues to buy stocks or ETFs. Although I do care what people might think about me I obviously didn't care enough to keep my mouth shut. Saving them from being poor at old age seemed more important to me than them probably believing I was rich or stupid or both. The only aspect of my life where I have heard things one might interpret as criticism about being too frugal is when it comes to holidays. I prefer nice meals in the cafeteria on workdays to expensive holidays in a country it takes ages to get to and where I can't stay long enough to get to know it. Even if I learned to cook and could make your frugality tip not to spend money on workday lunches a reality I don't think I would feel comfortable dishing out thousands of Euros moving through foreign countries at high speed checking off the top sights on some list or falling asleep on a beach that could be anywhere. I prefer going somewhere nice and sitting in a café all day letting the atmosphere sink in together with a friend. And you don't have to go far to experience another culture. For example going from Bavaria to Austria shows you a similar mentality and still it's different and even the coffee tastes different.
Thanks for sharing your perspective
Oh yes, many times. Loved this video! I buy most items used - I have a new house, but many things from furniture to building materials such as tiles was bought second hand or on clearance. People are wrinkling their nose and some are saying that they would be disgusted of bringing a used sofa into their home. Or the comment from a good friend, "I know you dont care much for clothes and fashion".... When I was wearing the same dress, again. I dont have a good reply when it happens, afterwards I think of things I should have said.. Sometimes comments hurt, but I really dont care, I am a single woman, widow, with a newbuilt house, fulltime work and have been travelling the world. This wouldn´t have been possible if I didnt bring all my luches to work, and living frugally. This weekend I have been hanging up my new set of beautiful second hand curtains in my bedroom. 💕 Good point, I will reflect on that, my "why". Short term it is to finish decorating my house, gravel the driveway, and establishing a garden, long term is definitely being mortgage free before retirement! 🤞Do you think that those comments are based on jealousy? It is hard being frugal and saving instead of spending. Have a good week in beautiful Brittany.
I think some people don’t dare to be different. They criticize what they don’t understand.
Thank you for the weekly pep talk Jane!
You're welcome
Yes, I have been made fun of but I have never let it bother me. I know what my goals are I would rather live simply and feel more secure with my finances then have nothing. I am about to turn 59 and I am mortgage free as of September and less then $2600 USD in debt now. You are truly an inspiration!
Thanks for watching and sharing
My sister calls me a peasant, and ridicules everything I have or do. When this happens, I have to remember that I have achieved what I have on a single salary in the affluent South East of England, whereas they have had two salaries and live in a much cheaper area in Scotland, and my brother in law is paying higher rate tax on his pension. I've done OK. I am at peace with myself and work hard at deploying my resources as wisely and sustainably as I can manage.
You’ve done great
Jane, you are so entertaining...! I loved this vlog so much and this is why I love returning to your channel for an honest sit down chat. Oh yes I have been frugally shamed and people just don't like it if you are not doing things and spending money how they are....it's almost like they want you in debt just like them because it makes them feel better for their bad spending habits and they feel challenged.
That's so kind and thanks for watching
I haven't been Frugal Shamed recently but the last time someone did so, I pointed out that by being frugal my husband and I had given up work at 53, bought two properties mortgage free and didn't owe any money. That kinda did the trick. Most of my friends are frugal too so we all get "it".
You’ve done well
Thank you Jane and thanks for your brilliant video.
Wow! How did you retire so early?
My husband was public sector and was able to retire early with a pension. I worked for most of our married life but we never relied on my salary to pay the bills. Consequently, our financial choices were based on his earning ability and not mine. We invested in property, lived frugally and didn't do some of the things our friends we're doing. Our holidays were based around camping - not hotels. By the time we were in our early 50s we had no mortgage and a big savings pot so I was able to give up work when my husband retired. I hope that answers your question.
Loved this video Jane sending this to my kids to watch. Had the conversation today with my daughter who’s just bought her first house, about the 70s and before. . I wouldn’t live my life any other way
Thanks Ros.
One of my sisters in law had a part time job before she retired at a large food supermarket. She has always been extremely frugal since she was a child. When she looked at the very inexpensive clothing, her checkout friends would say * are you going to buy that cardigan , it's pretty.* SIL would say ' No, I have worked out how much I have to work to pay for it, and I don't need it *
It's probably why she and my brother can afford 4 holidays a year and no money worries now they are retired !
Frugality has its rewards