I’m an ENFJ and in order to remember things I’ve been journaling for years now, very useful, not just to remember but to make sense of your own thoughts and feelings.
sorry to be so off topic but does any of you know a trick to get back into an Instagram account?? I stupidly forgot my login password. I would love any help you can offer me
ENFJs, please do not let your Fe get out of hand like he mentions in this video. I have been enslaved by an ENFJ using their Fe poorly. Your voice is so powerful and because you are a Mentor you can impact so many. Please use this the right way. Becoming too overly caring can lead to codependency and pain for yourself and others. You can be SO amazing, please use your power for good! ❤️
Thanks! Happily have developed all my functions quite good, I still wonder how it exactly happened, but I don’t mind it 😂😂 My Fe is countered by my Se and Fi, in emergency situations my Te jumps in. I’ve been a role model for other teens and other ENFJs according to other people, I have been sharing my stories a lot 😅 Kinda proud of myself
That’s honestly one of the most relevant and potentially helpful comments I’ve ever read on RUclips. You’re absolutely right btw from one who’s lived that dark becoming and it’s fallout to the detriment to their loved ones as well as their own mental health and well-being. Thank you!
I am friends with an ENFJ (I am an INFP). Some days our conversations go so well and other days we cannot see eye to eye at all. I think we both read into each other's words and misinterpret what the other is saying. Or if we express a concern it comes out as an attack to the other person. Then we get defensive and it turns into an argument. It is ironic because we both hate drama, but our arguments turns into drama. I like him as a friend though because he gets me to be more direct. Also he inspires me to want to be a better human being. I just want to be better at communicating with him without it turning into an argument. I want us to get along.
I'm an ENFP, and my beat friend is an ENFJ too. I have the same problem that you have: reading too much into the other's words. I found out that the best way to get over that is to be more simple when talking to her, and that pretty much solves it. It's really funny, because sometimes it's just so stupid the way we both overthink things, and get confused, but what I do is to just trust my feelings and not get too doubty when talking to her. After all, I'm an ENFP, I can read her thoughts if I want to, so it's pointless for me to try and analyse her.
Tomas Contreras icoukd not agree more, mu ex enfp did what you did and it is really g8 too, but when he mentioned himself that what he did just to make me feel at ease with not caring at all the things i mentioned to him that much, it upsetted me a.h. Intent and effort for me is everything and since then I try just to be more independent to solve the insecurities 😬
As an ENFJ I understand and feel a lot of what is said, but also that I've luckily changed for the better these last years. Only thing I really hate about myself is my fear of being abandoned all the time, except for my 3 close friends (been friends for 7, 14 and 22 years now) 😊
Watching this made me realise how far I've come in overcoming my demons and insecurities. Currently I feel the most comfortable with myself in my life, got into a profession that truely will help people, is feeling content within myself without needing others' validation (most of the time; it is tougher in romantic relationships but I'm doing fine/better), and have been doing things I love because *I love these things* not because people will love me for it. These improvements all occurred after I went through a couple of pretty traumatic interpersonal relationship breakdowns (in which both sides had faults) and really looked back into myself to understand myself -- with understanding, comes targeted exercise to improvements, as well as self-acceptance. I know who I am now more than ever. And I love myself more than ever.
My ENFJ best friend living with his dad's values and it makes me crazy. I said to her this is your life not your dad, but it's like she can't abandon those values, hurtful.
Great video! Love the brutally honest constructive criticisms. The growth from enfj to istp sub conscious is mind blowing. You literally become happier, just like chase said. While coming to terms with infp super ego and estj unconscious is a much more difficult but fulfilling goal, one that comes with time.
@@minimunk7 I thought estj was called unconscious because it's the furthest in our functions stack in terms of awareness? But ya if I'm wrong, thank you
@@HodsBroo i don't quite remember the season but you should watch the videos on the four sides of the mind. INFP, as the unconscious, have the exact same functions but the extraversion and introversion are reversed. The ESTJ superego have the complete polar opposite functions, both extra/intro and the functions flipped. You're welcome, and thank you for thanking me :3
When i used to sugar date I used to have an ENFJ sugar daddy & the first time we meet was literally the last time. He was really went out of his way to set every detail right which was amazing & was honestly the most charasmatic man Ive met (never met an ENFJ before) but after a while I felt like he was judging my intentions, he would go into a room or the restroom & quietly get out of them with no sound & watch me from there to see if I was gonna do something bad, paranoid as shit, & took action & became accusatory before I could explain that I was feeling awkward & would check the time constantly & told me he has to check if I was texting anyone other than him basically demanding control & so I did & he saw nothing lol (I barley have any friend let alone text them) then he started assuming things about me at that point he assumed because I didn't have any desicions I was playing dumb to get to him & manipulate him or some shit like that & you're damn right, I did cut him off as an INFP & without explaining why, just ghosted him, blocked his ass. Days later I got messages from at least 2 different phone numbers (the rich have their ways) & he found my Facebook trying to apologize feeling guilty etc. Lol I realized I forgot to reply since then, I was binge watching some anime at that moment. Edit: I like all your content btw, it's very organized. Feels refreshing from your POV how you explain things.
Thank you so much for this amazing video. I see clearly now that I was the cause of my own suffering, focusing on others feelings and needs before my own literally changed me but hopefully to the better. I've learned that self love is the first step to healthy relationships. Helping people who ask for help and setting boundaries is a necessity. As for my career I want to help people value each other's emotional and mental health. I can do that by being a coach, energy healer and doing it myself first.
This video has made so much sense and is mega helpful to me! I want to say that I have experienced having ‘unhealthy gates’ for years and only now have been recently working towards improving myself and this vid was amazing to put the last 25+ years of my life into perspective and now i can move forward in a better direction. Thanks a ton Chase! 👊🏽
Funny story about Ti inferior. I got a diagnoses of borderline Aspergers (INTP for short). I live on the same street as my ESFJ uncle and I used to be in Si child land creating worlds in my head and walk laps around the street as a kid. I have 1 cousin who is actually autistic called Alex who has meltdowns and another with a missing chromosome called jack. Anyway my ESFJ uncle with his super genius Einsteinian cutting edge of psychiatry INTP subconscious blasted us with his theoretical discovery at a family gathering. He said that people with “special needs” have a way of “releasing”. Alex has meltdowns, jack has moody tantrums because no other 6 year old kid does, and I “release” because I walk around the street thinking. It took me 20 minutes of trying to correct him until I just gave up as for every letter leaving my mouth was a whole dictionary leaving his. I lost 2 inches of my hairline that day. Stay clear of FJs NTPs...
I know this is 3years old but i noted you seem angry with us around the 12 minute mark. 😵💫 I'm wondering what was going on for you here.. sounds like an enfj got you feeling some type of way. I apologise on their behalf of they havent owned up. Hugs I highly appreciated this insight. This is so true. I'm still learning to be me and it feels so good to know i am choosing me and my self-improvement- for me not others - and that's where I found true confidence and true humility. Acceptance was key for me. Thank you Chase 😊 Edit: Lol my ti inferior is showing. So may typos and edits 🙄 😅
thanks for the tip! now I will write down everything and really focus on my test study to get into university. I love learning tips to become a more well rounded and mature ENFJ. please more! lately, I was actually thinking about my inferior function Ti... and didn't accept it is, in fact, inferior... although I knew I was denying. anyways thanks for the wake-up call. it's all clear now.
that was very useful. Thank you. I think I was healthier before my parents got divorce. I think I ve used my TI in the right way cas I was good in school but after I ve got this family problems I started to over use my FE and abandon my TI . It is a nightmare. You are very good at explaining .
The next question is what do you do when ENFJ's are running around complaining about not being appreciated enough? Because heaven knows, if you, one person, try to tell them how valued and appreciated they are, it almost like... makes it worse, because you're not the "right" person that they need the appreciation from.
So as an enfj i can say if your not part of my immediate tribe then your just part of my external sphere. Which means i dont need appreciation from you, just your social information. For example how you feel and whats on your mind, and lastly how can i help you. But if your in my personal social circle, eg. My roommate my boyfriend or my parents, then i require your appreciation and your time. But if your not then appreciation is not what im looking for just harmony from you and those around you.
You make this expectation that other videos of this season will drop quickly. But i know this won't happen, you uploaded these episodes before for email lecture. but i'm happy and enjoy it.
I was preparing myself to feel attacked 😅 fortunately I felt grateful that I have matured the way I have, what chase is saying rings true for me very much as an enfj accept your thick/ dumb and when you actually do master something others will go out of their way to tell you that you are not stupid and you will know they mean it, thanks as always for the great worl csj forever in debt for all the hard work you have put in over the years to try to help people understand themselves better, I always say you can’t help others properly until you have helped yourself, learning from you about myself has helped me to go in to help so many more people than I would have if I would not have found your channel 🙏🙏 be safe
Yesterday as i was watching the entj one i was wondering when you were gonna make one for us enfj's cog transitions ,this is great . Thanks bruh😎🙏 Happy Sunday !
Thanks a lot for calling out 3 year old me (Re: Se hero being irresponsible-I really scratched my brother when he took away a toy of mine. Between that example and the ESTP lecture, I'm really remembering my past now and I don't know what to think or how to feel about that.
Hey C.S., thank you for the great work you‘re doing here. Just wanted to remind you to put that this video isn‘t in the ENFJ playlist. Thought you might want to have the playlist complete...
ohh myyy god I just rewatched the video to take notes and realized that I do have a good memory to physical surroundings but memories and emotions with ppl I don’t remember anything that’s why I cut ppl so easily because I don’t remember shit 😶😶😶😶 that’s a big realization gotta work on that
Another ENFJ is Rick Beato who covers music topics on RUclips. He is ISTP focused and can play multiple instruments at a high level, he also breaks down all time great songs and explains the technical ways, the how and what, makes the song great.
I listened to this video and I know I am an ENFJ but I can name several famous ENFJs (MLK Jr., Oprah, Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, Nelson Mandela, Barack Obama) that have done tremendous things and I work in my community with at risk youth...so I assume you must be talking about ENFJs who don't really know themselves yet. And again how can the ENFJ be nicknamed the Mentor or Teacher or Counselor or Protagonist how can the person who is meant to help others reach their potential not be smart? Now if it's not developed cool. But, I think when your mind is driven to help others you get the intuition about what they ought to do...that's not saying we are right...we would say that is what you should do, but if you chose to do something else that's on you. Also a lot of ppl don't feel they need nor want to grow btw yet an ENFJ will still hope for the best even after we have cussed ya ass out. lol
Hey Joseph, just wanted to thank you again for this fantastic video. It really helped me understand my mind a lot better. I wanted to ask you for something that interested me for quite a while. When listen to Jordan Peterson, for instance, who often creates metaphysical conceptions and representations with Ne and structures them using Si - and I'm really focused on listening to him (I'm ENFJ, obviously) would I then cognitively transition into the INFP shadow? Since the INFP would be the only personality in my psyche that is actually using Ne-Si right? Or does something like that not work when listening to others using a function?
I have an ENFJ close friend and I just recently gave her the nickname "hen head" :))))) cuz she dosen't f***ing think.... she's so reliant on her Fe: oh.. I'm such a good person, why would anybody have something against me, cuz I only do good.... once she had her fb account brocken by a lunatic whom posted weird crap on her behalf and she was devastaded :)))) it took us (me and another ISFJ friend) to level-up her Ti understanding of the situation and get over the situation
Hi Chase, I really liked your video. I'm an ENFJ. It's refreshing to hear criticism. I know from your previous videos that this is a type that you know very well. I don't think I've commented before, but I've always been surprised that you're not a fan of duality. Like when you were mentioning that ENFJ's can use their demon Te to ignore arguments, and that in turn would cause their golden partner, the INFP, with demon Ti, to leave. I'm not saying they're a bad pairing, but maybe they aren't the ideal type for the ENFJ if they're willing to leave in a moment of conflict. Shouldn't an ideal partner be well equipped to handle their partner's flaws? Also, wouldn't the ENFJ's dual, the ISTP, be the best person to help them overcome their Ti inferiority, and help them develop this function?
I think there are multiple ways to integrate the soul. There are also different parts of the soul that need integrated. This path leads to unification of the mental aspect of the self
Hello Chase ! Thanks for this lecture ! After watching this video I was wondering, do you have some examples on how does the transition affects the way the ENFJ acts / speaks / etc. ? I think I remember an example of your father's ISTP coming out because he was always working on scooters or something like that haha ... Can you explain me this please ? :D
You really understand us too well, you even put us in our place for us to really grow. Thank you very much this helps a lot tho it hurts, well truth hurts HAHAHAHAHA.
I feel like I found out I wasn't that smart through trial and error, through testing and realised that my logic only can go as far as I've learnt about the specific area, like it took me so long to figure out my type due to being a unusual enneagram 9w1 or 9w8 (currently under debate with my entj sister), but I thought I was an enfp,infp and infj but really I wasn't valuing my own opinion due to seeing heavy logical gaps in some of my arguments due to my sister pointing it out. Sorry for rambling...✋🏾😔
I forget indeed things that I have to do, while I have a near photographic memory of the past, usually much more clear than many people - is it the logical vs emotional brain/storage or....?
Good stuff 👍 I have to point out though that Neil Degrasse Tyson is not really a physicist. He is an Astrophysicist , and a teacher basically. He is very brilliant yes, and probably one of the greatest science communcators / teachers in the world that has ever existed. An extremely talented Teacher and communicator. But in comparison to the really practicing hardcore theoretical physicists in the world, he is far beneath the level of theoretical horsepower intellect as these people, like for example as you mentioned Michio Kaku, or Brian Greene, Sean Carroll, Lawrence Krauss, etc.... I mean, not to be negative towards Ti inferiors, but it just seems to me that its gonna be really hard, if not impossible for people like Neil deGrasse Tyson to be at the same Theoretical Physics level at someone like Stephen Hawking, Robert Oppenheimer or Albert Einstein. I would assume these people all have very High Ti /Te probably. Also with the much lower Ne, it seems to be a problem in terms of innovating new theories, but maybe with a well developed shadow, and a lot of wisdom and experience, it is possible. What the hell do I know, right. Anyways. Love this season, and the video.
Is it like an ENTP and INFJ to feel compelled to walk and talk? Both you and my ENTP friend love to walk while talking about what you and he are passionate about. I am thinking INFJ because my mind also wants me to walk and talk. I feel so uncomfortable sitting on a couch while talking.
Hello, love your lectures! A question I've been wondering, have you considered the True Colors personality type could predict the compatibility between people more than their cognitive functions?
I have an ISTP Mom. Is it possible for an ENFJ to be more mature at their 20s because of the big influence of an ISTP female? :) She has always point out when my FeSe is being overly use and since a kid she helps me to use my mind in a more productive way independently of other people. She introduce me to reading and since I was 12 years old I’ve been feeding my Ni. I thought I was INFJ but I know that logic is not my strongest suit and I love when my Se gets a chance to feel the moment, can’t contain my chills but again, I have control over it because of my mom (Se parent) I hope you can answer me I appreciate all your work, it’s amazing
I do not have the Si trickster attention to learn something I've had been proven stupid at before but I have an easy time putting in effort into physical tasks and even if I don't want to do it, it's still easier than paying attention to stuff I hate because my Ti inferior has had issues there Stuff like physics and math. Even tho in the end both are easy but there is just so much attention that has to be invested into learning those things and if I am not getting the outcome I want from it(which is being the fucking best at it), then I assume I am just not smart enough to ever make it even tho that's an utter bs, in that moment it feels like it. How to avoid this? Do I need to solve my mental blocks before I start learning something I already hate?
@@CSJoseph because I've been continually proven stupid/slow/ in those areas. I can get over it but I can't deny that the Fi nemesis still hates the areas. It's just how it is
Hi everyone, Chase you're an entp, you have ne-hero and ti-Edit:parent, basically the best at predictions.. What's your opinion on the Corona virus?? And basically what everyone thinks about this, maybe some connections with psihology??
I can partially relate. I don't like these judgements about being or not intelligent. What you know or can do, it's not connected to intelligence. This is connected to the time and efforts you put on learning something seriously. It feels a judgemental and I don't think it's is proper. I agree regarding the fact that maybe an ENFJ and I can relate to it, struggle on actually putting serious effort to learn something well....and this is something for ex. I am trying to do now. I think I can be cruel if triggered in a bad way, but when I helped someone it wasn't to get advantages back. It is true I can get disappointed towards people pretty bad, but I don't think it's fair to say that this is because of enfj cruelty or trying to control. I don't relate to this. It is a bit hard Chase, to hear your words here, because it feels very much as an attack and a critic. While I don't think that the potential of Enfj is to help others and that's all. I don't this his equilibrate and honestly I think that it's fair that if you give you want back too. Being just a one way giver it's not healthy and it can make others taking advantage and it seems like you don't have any care for yourself. If you just give it seems and ENFJ has to be this fuel distributor for others and that's it. How can you say that this is ok? And wanting back, as any other type it's just normal, it doesn't mean you want to give to get, but it's just a normal equilibrium of relationships.
I understand what you’re saying. You wouldn’t be human if you did something completely selflessly. Even if it’s just to make ourselves feel good. It wouldn’t be in our own best interest. And would go against our survival instincts as humans. So I think people are being dishonest when they say that only ENFJs have covert contracts.
@@CSJoseph honestly I think covert is when you do things for others which is often an overdoing is covert. If you instead care genuinely for others but the others just take advantage of this and then don't care less about you, well keeping to give to this people is not being generous but it's being retarded. Frankly I don't think this is the point and I don't think that Enfjs has just the duty to give. We are all humans and we have to honour our individuality too. This doesn't mean taking advanges of others but it doesn't even mean let others taking advantage of you. People that says oh this is so liberating, they are hypocrites. The only free things others can get from me is knowledge, but when it comes to personal relationships things should go both ways or it becomes just a person parasiting the other energies.
Marla S. In my past experience (Infp), I had allowed others to take advantage of me, in a desperate attempt to gain acceptance from them. I lived first hand in win-lose land. In my 30’s, I tried to regain equilibrium in my relationships, so I get what you are saying. A win-win scenario is the ideal. My understanding of this particular lecture, however, is that true caring, true benevolence, is unconditional love. It expects nothing in return for its giving. The balance comes when we meet our own needs, before meeting the needs of others. Fill up your own cup so full, that it spills out into the cups of others.
I really don't like you saying that as an ENFJ I am not intelligent or smart. Why should I accept that? So Thinkers have higher IQ to learn new stuff? If I study some subject, am I going to learn slower than a Thinker? I don't think so. The difference is that thinkers spend more time thinking about procedures and truth. On the other hand, cognitive function order will say how my pie is divided, not how big my pie is. Some thinker lazy dude that doesn't spend time studying and have never exercised his brain in college, cannot compete against a feeler that is an engineer or physicist. I had many NT friends with me in the institute and most of the time used their intelligence on video games and not actually earning good grades and learning about stuff that matters. So no, I won't see myself as unintelligent because I am Ti inferior and put thinking in the service of feeling. I won't see myself as dumber than some guy just because he is emotionally guarded/repressed. Cheers.
@@CSJoseph You said "You have Ti inferior. Does that mean you are the smartest person? No. You can be, as soon as you left go of your pride". Doesn't this mean that Thinkers are by default smarter than me?
@@godmode3611Yes, NTs are way smarter than us. I play video games with an INTP friend and my INTJ brother, they're seriously hella smart with those games while I have to practice and practice to get mastery of it. Sometimes they might not put their minds to the important things but when they do, they are way smarter than ENFJs even without trying. The way you express is exactly a pride of your Ti, instead of judging NTs learn from them and take their criticism at heart. I've been able to gain mastery with video games just because I took my friend's criticism to be better at it. I have even defeated them sometimes in 1V1 in COD just because they pointed out my flaws while playing and I had to change my thinking in every strategical map. See? A video game seems so insignificant but if you're willing to be wise, even for something so ridiculous you can learn. Go let your pride and realize that yes, you're not as smart as you think you're and you need help in that area of your life.
@@godmode3611 Even if you're interested in the same things, just like right now with the lectures of CS Joseph, you can outsmart them if you take the time to listen. CS Joseph is Ti parent, theorically he has the knowledge and experience to know what he is talking about and he is just informing how your personality works. He is not saying we are not intelligent, he is just saying we are not the SMARTEST, but we can be if we just listen to constructive criticism and start developing those areas we lack.
one thing i hate about enfj is that they "need" to help everyone and take some sort of personal offense when you dont let them. Not everyone needs your help.. im istp i hate help unless i ask for it. i hate being guilted into letting yall help me so yall can fulfill your Fe duties. its weird af and uncomfortable. Also stop saying people dont appreciate you when you force yourself on people.. its hella manipulative. Also your ti is not more powerful than mine.. stop tryna act smarter than me. Yall try to school people on basic common sense and shit everyone already knows and you call it wisdom.. pay attention to other peoples knowledge more.. its ok that some people know more than you. Yall nicer than me ill give you that.
To be fair he calls everyone stupid in every video....used to think I was INFJ till I got out more and realized I was in fact ENFJ after his online test....and seeing his other videos, against INFJ it was way worse. Besides, it is very helpful and gives a much needed direct perspective. Perhaps that's conviction you're feeling 🤷♀️
@@kssgpv 1. I do not see how that was insensitive, simply because it was direct. A defense of pointing out others faults or being too harsh seems to be a theme. 2. The concept that someone can't be one way or act a certain way is ignorant. The vice of ENFJ is cruelty so it's quite possible.
I’m an ENFJ and in order to remember things I’ve been journaling for years now, very useful, not just to remember but to make sense of your own thoughts and feelings.
sorry to be so off topic but does any of you know a trick to get back into an Instagram account??
I stupidly forgot my login password. I would love any help you can offer me
me too!!!!!!!
ENFJs, please do not let your Fe get out of hand like he mentions in this video. I have been enslaved by an ENFJ using their Fe poorly. Your voice is so powerful and because you are a Mentor you can impact so many. Please use this the right way. Becoming too overly caring can lead to codependency and pain for yourself and others. You can be SO amazing, please use your power for good! ❤️
Thanks!
Happily have developed all my functions quite good, I still wonder how it exactly happened, but I don’t mind it 😂😂
My Fe is countered by my Se and Fi, in emergency situations my Te jumps in.
I’ve been a role model for other teens and other ENFJs according to other people, I have been sharing my stories a lot 😅
Kinda proud of myself
@@abyssal_phoenix where's the humility :)
That’s honestly one of the most relevant and potentially helpful comments I’ve ever read on RUclips.
You’re absolutely right btw from one who’s lived that dark becoming and it’s fallout to the detriment to their loved ones as well as their own mental health and well-being.
Thank you!
I am friends with an ENFJ (I am an INFP). Some days our conversations go so well and other days we cannot see eye to eye at all. I think we both read into each other's words and misinterpret what the other is saying. Or if we express a concern it comes out as an attack to the other person. Then we get defensive and it turns into an argument. It is ironic because we both hate drama, but our arguments turns into drama. I like him as a friend though because he gets me to be more direct. Also he inspires me to want to be a better human being. I just want to be better at communicating with him without it turning into an argument. I want us to get along.
I'm an ENFP, and my beat friend is an ENFJ too. I have the same problem that you have: reading too much into the other's words. I found out that the best way to get over that is to be more simple when talking to her, and that pretty much solves it. It's really funny, because sometimes it's just so stupid the way we both overthink things, and get confused, but what I do is to just trust my feelings and not get too doubty when talking to her. After all, I'm an ENFP, I can read her thoughts if I want to, so it's pointless for me to try and analyse her.
Tomas Contreras icoukd not agree more, mu ex enfp did what you did and it is really g8 too, but when he mentioned himself that what he did just to make me feel at ease with not caring at all the things i mentioned to him that much, it upsetted me a.h. Intent and effort for me is everything and since then I try just to be more independent to solve the insecurities 😬
Lol I just looked it up and there’s a compilation of Joe Rogan getting annoyed at Neil Degrasse Tyson for cutting him off
"Petrichor" is the word used for the particular smell that comes with rain in the atmosphere
As an ENFJ I understand and feel a lot of what is said, but also that I've luckily changed for the better these last years. Only thing I really hate about myself is my fear of being abandoned all the time, except for my 3 close friends (been friends for 7, 14 and 22 years now) 😊
Watching this made me realise how far I've come in overcoming my demons and insecurities. Currently I feel the most comfortable with myself in my life, got into a profession that truely will help people, is feeling content within myself without needing others' validation (most of the time; it is tougher in romantic relationships but I'm doing fine/better), and have been doing things I love because *I love these things* not because people will love me for it. These improvements all occurred after I went through a couple of pretty traumatic interpersonal relationship breakdowns (in which both sides had faults) and really looked back into myself to understand myself -- with understanding, comes targeted exercise to improvements, as well as self-acceptance. I know who I am now more than ever. And I love myself more than ever.
My ENFJ best friend living with his dad's values and it makes me crazy. I said to her this is your life not your dad, but it's like she can't abandon those values, hurtful.
Great video! Love the brutally honest constructive criticisms. The growth from enfj to istp sub conscious is mind blowing. You literally become happier, just like chase said. While coming to terms with infp super ego and estj unconscious is a much more difficult but fulfilling goal, one that comes with time.
ESTJ and INFP occupy the opposite slots of what you mentioned.
@@minimunk7 yeah, it's the shadow process for ENFJs
@@HodsBroo? I meant that INFP is the unconscious while the ESTJ is the superego
@@minimunk7 I thought estj was called unconscious because it's the furthest in our functions stack in terms of awareness? But ya if I'm wrong, thank you
@@HodsBroo i don't quite remember the season but you should watch the videos on the four sides of the mind. INFP, as the unconscious, have the exact same functions but the extraversion and introversion are reversed. The ESTJ superego have the complete polar opposite functions, both extra/intro and the functions flipped.
You're welcome, and thank you for thanking me :3
As an enfj finally at rock bottom this is the sincerest accurate beat down I ever needed
When i used to sugar date I used to have an ENFJ sugar daddy & the first time we meet was literally the last time. He was really went out of his way to set every detail right which was amazing & was honestly the most charasmatic man Ive met (never met an ENFJ before) but after a while I felt like he was judging my intentions, he would go into a room or the restroom & quietly get out of them with no sound & watch me from there to see if I was gonna do something bad, paranoid as shit, & took action & became accusatory before I could explain that I was feeling awkward & would check the time constantly & told me he has to check if I was texting anyone other than him basically demanding control & so I did & he saw nothing lol (I barley have any friend let alone text them) then he started assuming things about me at that point he assumed because I didn't have any desicions I was playing dumb to get to him & manipulate him or some shit like that & you're damn right, I did cut him off as an INFP & without explaining why, just ghosted him, blocked his ass. Days later I got messages from at least 2 different phone numbers (the rich have their ways) & he found my Facebook trying to apologize feeling guilty etc. Lol I realized I forgot to reply since then, I was binge watching some anime at that moment.
Edit: I like all your content btw, it's very organized. Feels refreshing from your POV how you explain things.
F. J. “I realised I forgot to reply” LOOOOOL typical INFP.
send him some videos
@@CSJoseph opportunist 😂😂😂
Idk I'm lazy will re-edit later
7:48-9:12
11:20-13:20
Listen to me and I won't listen to you
13:20-16:00
16:00-19:14 rec for me
19:53-21:30
Loyalty
21:23-22:20
22:00-27:34 rec
Demon function angelic form?
27:34-31:19
Demon
31:19-32:02
32:57-35:16
I've just been assaulted with horrible vicious truths!!! Lmao
Thank you from your friendly neighborhood ENFJ
Thank you so much for this amazing video. I see clearly now that I was the cause of my own suffering, focusing on others feelings and needs before my own literally changed me but hopefully to the better. I've learned that self love is the first step to healthy relationships. Helping people who ask for help and setting boundaries is a necessity. As for my career I want to help people value each other's emotional and mental health. I can do that by being a coach, energy healer and doing it myself first.
I really enjoyed this video. Your cognitive transition videos explain so much about all four sides of the mind.
I’m an ESFP and I just found out my mate of like 10 years is ENFJ. He’s a cool guy, but he really puts me on edge with Se child triggering Si nemesis.
Me too.. I'm an ESFP with an ENFJ fiancé 😍
This video has made so much sense and is mega helpful to me! I want to say that I have experienced having ‘unhealthy gates’ for years and only now have been recently working towards improving myself and this vid was amazing to put the last 25+ years of my life into perspective and now i can move forward in a better direction. Thanks a ton Chase! 👊🏽
Funny story about Ti inferior.
I got a diagnoses of borderline Aspergers (INTP for short). I live on the same street as my ESFJ uncle and I used to be in Si child land creating worlds in my head and walk laps around the street as a kid. I have 1 cousin who is actually autistic called Alex who has meltdowns and another with a missing chromosome called jack.
Anyway my ESFJ uncle with his super genius Einsteinian cutting edge of psychiatry INTP subconscious blasted us with his theoretical discovery at a family gathering. He said that people with “special needs” have a way of “releasing”. Alex has meltdowns, jack has moody tantrums because no other 6 year old kid does, and I “release” because I walk around the street thinking.
It took me 20 minutes of trying to correct him until I just gave up as for every letter leaving my mouth was a whole dictionary leaving his.
I lost 2 inches of my hairline that day.
Stay clear of FJs NTPs...
you mean SFJs
C.S. Joseph I’ve always had an up down relationship with NFJs but SFJs are the hardest
I know this is 3years old but i noted you seem angry with us around the 12 minute mark. 😵💫 I'm wondering what was going on for you here.. sounds like an enfj got you feeling some type of way. I apologise on their behalf of they havent owned up. Hugs
I highly appreciated this insight. This is so true. I'm still learning to be me and it feels so good to know i am choosing me and my self-improvement- for me not others - and that's where I found true confidence and true humility. Acceptance was key for me.
Thank you Chase 😊
Edit: Lol my ti inferior is showing. So may typos and edits 🙄 😅
I am angry with all of them.
thanks for the tip! now I will write down everything and really focus on my test study to get into university. I love learning tips to become a more well rounded and mature ENFJ. please more!
lately, I was actually thinking about my inferior function Ti... and didn't accept it is, in fact, inferior... although I knew I was denying. anyways thanks for the wake-up call. it's all clear now.
Very excited to see this one! (ENFJ)
that was very useful. Thank you. I think I was healthier before my parents got divorce. I think I ve used my TI in the right way cas I was good in school but after I ve got this family problems I started to over use my FE and abandon my TI . It is a nightmare. You are very good at explaining .
The next question is what do you do when ENFJ's are running around complaining about not being appreciated enough? Because heaven knows, if you, one person, try to tell them how valued and appreciated they are, it almost like... makes it worse, because you're not the "right" person that they need the appreciation from.
So as an enfj i can say if your not part of my immediate tribe then your just part of my external sphere. Which means i dont need appreciation from you, just your social information. For example how you feel and whats on your mind, and lastly how can i help you. But if your in my personal social circle, eg. My roommate my boyfriend or my parents, then i require your appreciation and your time. But if your not then appreciation is not what im looking for just harmony from you and those around you.
Wait, do ENFJs do that?
I am very modest but I accept everyone’s appreciation, since I appreciate them as well.
That ENFJs doesn’t seem like me😅
@@dasein9980 no prob.
You make this expectation that other videos of this season will drop quickly. But i know this won't happen, you uploaded these episodes before for email lecture.
but i'm happy and enjoy it.
Wow... That's an amazing synchronicity.
I feel like I’ve really developed my Ti as an ENFJ and the 4 sides of my mind so I’m starting to relate to the ENFJ stereotypes less and less.
No one "develops" their 4th function.
Alessandro Solo That’s not true. It can become aspirational and actually become stronger than some type’s hero.
@@t.6071 Maybe if the Ti hero you are comparing yourself against is a vegetable.
Alessandro Solo A ha ha.
@@t.6071 Think about it, imagine an ISTP developing a stronger Fe than you as an ENFJ.
I was preparing myself to feel attacked 😅 fortunately I felt grateful that I have matured the way I have, what chase is saying rings true for me very much as an enfj accept your thick/ dumb and when you actually do master something others will go out of their way to tell you that you are not stupid and you will know they mean it, thanks as always for the great worl csj forever in debt for all the hard work you have put in over the years to try to help people understand themselves better, I always say you can’t help others properly until you have helped yourself, learning from you about myself has helped me to go in to help so many more people than I would have if I would not have found your channel 🙏🙏 be safe
Yesterday as i was watching the entj one i was wondering when you were gonna make one for us enfj's cog transitions ,this is great .
Thanks bruh😎🙏
Happy Sunday !
oh no it all makes sense now
cant wait for the intp video for cognitive functions
another video? someone is on fire these days !!
Thanks a lot for calling out 3 year old me (Re: Se hero being irresponsible-I really scratched my brother when he took away a toy of mine. Between that example and the ESTP lecture, I'm really remembering my past now and I don't know what to think or how to feel about that.
“I don’t know what to think or how to feel about it” is the life of an ENFJ, I’m laughing too hard. -ENFJ
Hey C.S., thank you for the great work you‘re doing here. Just wanted to remind you to put that this video isn‘t in the ENFJ playlist. Thought you might want to have the playlist complete...
Will you do, in the future, a series about specific type relationships (for example: ENFP + ENFJ)?
I already have, it is season 14 and it is found here: csjoseph.life/patreon
@@CSJoseph what about a relationship between ENTP ENFJ
sound is better..
more walking lectures = 👍🏻
ohh myyy god I just rewatched the video to take notes and realized that I do have a good memory to physical surroundings but memories and emotions with ppl I don’t remember anything that’s why I cut ppl so easily because I don’t remember shit 😶😶😶😶 that’s a big realization gotta work on that
Another ENFJ is Rick Beato who covers music topics on RUclips. He is ISTP focused and can play multiple instruments at a high level, he also breaks down all time great songs and explains the technical ways, the how and what, makes the song great.
He also interviewed Sting from The Police, who is an ISTJ and his bronze pair.
I am an ENFJ. Thank you for your contribution.
I listened to this video and I know I am an ENFJ but I can name several famous ENFJs (MLK Jr., Oprah, Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, Nelson Mandela, Barack Obama) that have done tremendous things and I work in my community with at risk youth...so I assume you must be talking about ENFJs who don't really know themselves yet. And again how can the ENFJ be nicknamed the Mentor or Teacher or Counselor or Protagonist how can the person who is meant to help others reach their potential not be smart? Now if it's not developed cool. But, I think when your mind is driven to help others you get the intuition about what they ought to do...that's not saying we are right...we would say that is what you should do, but if you chose to do something else that's on you. Also a lot of ppl don't feel they need nor want to grow btw yet an ENFJ will still hope for the best even after we have cussed ya ass out. lol
I wanna see an ENTP with their Se super strong. That would be so fun. I wanna see Chase with his Se going off in an angelic manner :D
Hey Joseph, just wanted to thank you again for this fantastic video. It really helped me understand my mind a lot better. I wanted to ask you for something that interested me for quite a while.
When listen to Jordan Peterson, for instance, who often creates metaphysical conceptions and representations with Ne and structures them using Si - and I'm really focused on listening to him (I'm ENFJ, obviously) would I then cognitively transition into the INFP shadow? Since the INFP would be the only personality in my psyche that is actually using Ne-Si right? Or does something like that not work when listening to others using a function?
Listening is a combination of functions and does not require cognitive transition typically
I have an ENFJ close friend and I just recently gave her the nickname "hen head" :))))) cuz she dosen't f***ing think.... she's so reliant on her Fe: oh.. I'm such a good person, why would anybody have something against me, cuz I only do good.... once she had her fb account brocken by a lunatic whom posted weird crap on her behalf and she was devastaded :)))) it took us (me and another ISFJ friend) to level-up her Ti understanding of the situation and get over the situation
She has moments when she starts getting in order the people around her... she is hilarious :)))) that's her ESTJ superego
Hi Chase, I really liked your video. I'm an ENFJ. It's refreshing to hear criticism. I know from your previous videos that this is a type that you know very well. I don't think I've commented before, but I've always been surprised that you're not a fan of duality. Like when you were mentioning that ENFJ's can use their demon Te to ignore arguments, and that in turn would cause their golden partner, the INFP, with demon Ti, to leave. I'm not saying they're a bad pairing, but maybe they aren't the ideal type for the ENFJ if they're willing to leave in a moment of conflict.
Shouldn't an ideal partner be well equipped to handle their partner's flaws? Also, wouldn't the ENFJ's dual, the ISTP, be the best person to help them overcome their Ti inferiority, and help them develop this function?
its not a moment of conflict, its over a long period of time
@@CSJoseph i think an istp would be able t o cope even *longer* 😂
C.S. Joseph yes. INFP will put up a lot with ENFJ until they snap
I think there are multiple ways to integrate the soul. There are also different parts of the soul that need integrated. This path leads to unification of the mental aspect of the self
Hello Chase ! Thanks for this lecture !
After watching this video I was wondering, do you have some examples on how does the transition affects the way the ENFJ acts / speaks / etc. ? I think I remember an example of your father's ISTP coming out because he was always working on scooters or something like that haha ... Can you explain me this please ? :D
Thanks 😀🙋♀️I like when you‘roasting’ all types😅😂It’s really beneficial though 😆So interesting 👌
You really understand us too well, you even put us in our place for us to really grow. Thank you very much this helps a lot tho it hurts, well truth hurts HAHAHAHAHA.
I feel like I found out I wasn't that smart through trial and error, through testing and realised that my logic only can go as far as I've learnt about the specific area, like it took me so long to figure out my type due to being a unusual enneagram 9w1 or 9w8 (currently under debate with my entj sister), but I thought I was an enfp,infp and infj but really I wasn't valuing my own opinion due to seeing heavy logical gaps in some of my arguments due to my sister pointing it out. Sorry for rambling...✋🏾😔
i’m only attracted to enfjs with good ti
nothing less attractive than an fe hero that never shuts up about gossip and he said she said bullshit
For me it is a joy following how you navigate - thank you! WFPB vegan here ;)
I forget indeed things that I have to do, while I have a near photographic memory of the past, usually much more clear than many people - is it the logical vs emotional brain/storage or....?
download the free type grid typing companion and work through that, you'll find your type and have your answer.
Will an infp focused enfj, have a fear of being judged just like an infp? Will they be background too?
Content!!!🙌🏽🙌🏽
My twin brother and I are both enfj’s (I think) and both of our ti inferiors would get triggered and steamrolled a lot growing up
Good stuff 👍 I have to point out though that Neil Degrasse Tyson is not really a physicist. He is an Astrophysicist , and a teacher basically.
He is very brilliant yes, and probably one of the greatest science communcators / teachers in the world that has ever existed. An extremely talented Teacher and communicator.
But in comparison to the really practicing hardcore theoretical physicists in the world, he is far beneath the level of theoretical horsepower intellect as these people, like for example as you mentioned Michio Kaku, or Brian Greene, Sean Carroll, Lawrence Krauss, etc....
I mean, not to be negative towards Ti inferiors, but it just seems to me that its gonna be really hard, if not impossible for people like Neil deGrasse Tyson to be at the same Theoretical Physics level at someone like Stephen Hawking, Robert Oppenheimer or Albert Einstein. I would assume these people all have very High Ti /Te probably.
Also with the much lower Ne, it seems to be a problem in terms of innovating new theories, but maybe with a well developed shadow, and a lot of wisdom and experience, it is possible. What the hell do I know, right.
Anyways. Love this season, and the video.
Excellent lecture!
I feel like my principles are just warped towards myself but also helpful long term even though I had a bad childhood,,, idk
Is it like an ENTP and INFJ to feel compelled to walk and talk?
Both you and my ENTP friend love to walk while talking about what you and he are passionate about.
I am thinking INFJ because my mind also wants me to walk and talk. I feel so uncomfortable sitting on a couch while talking.
Yes, welcome to movement.
Hello, love your lectures! A question I've been wondering, have you considered the True Colors personality type could predict the compatibility between people more than their cognitive functions?
It is just temperaments.
Thank you. This really is helpful..!
How do you help encourage an ENFJ to transition when you are the spouse? And they don't want your opinion?
Utilize or emulate Fi, they'll listen to that.
I have an ISTP Mom. Is it possible for an ENFJ to be more mature at their 20s because of the big influence of an ISTP female? :) She has always point out when my FeSe is being overly use and since a kid she helps me to use my mind in a more productive way independently of other people. She introduce me to reading and since I was 12 years old I’ve been feeding my Ni. I thought I was INFJ but I know that logic is not my strongest suit and I love when my Se gets a chance to feel the moment, can’t contain my chills but again, I have control over it because of my mom (Se parent)
I hope you can answer me
I appreciate all your work, it’s amazing
Absolutely. A mentor is a mentor and one from the same quadra can help because they've made had similar struggles and overcome them.
I do not have the Si trickster attention to learn something I've had been proven stupid at before but I have an easy time putting in effort into physical tasks and even if I don't want to do it, it's still easier than paying attention to stuff I hate because my Ti inferior has had issues there
Stuff like physics and math. Even tho in the end both are easy but there is just so much attention that has to be invested into learning those things and if I am not getting the outcome I want from it(which is being the fucking best at it), then I assume I am just not smart enough to ever make it even tho that's an utter bs, in that moment it feels like it.
How to avoid this? Do I need to solve my mental blocks before I start learning something I already hate?
Why do you hate it?
@@CSJoseph because I've been continually proven stupid/slow/ in those areas. I can get over it but I can't deny that the Fi nemesis still hates the areas. It's just how it is
Great info!! ☀️
Hi everyone, Chase you're an entp, you have ne-hero and ti-Edit:parent, basically the best at predictions.. What's your opinion on the Corona virus?? And basically what everyone thinks about this, maybe some connections with psihology??
@@דיןהיכל are you suggesting that we should use them on us?? Lol😅🤣
@@דיןהיכל soon Edit:so* you're saying that we should worry about other things. I'm kind of on your side 😕
I do not know enough to have an opinion
Sorry to nitpick, but he has Ne hero and Ti parent. IFJs have Ti child.
@@astonish_injurer5598 lol you're right I was thinking about an infj who said that were gonna die🙄
you’re amazing wow
Right away @ min 1 - thumbs up for walking, keep up the physical activity! :)
I can partially relate. I don't like these judgements about being or not intelligent. What you know or can do, it's not connected to intelligence. This is connected to the time and efforts you put on learning something seriously. It feels a judgemental and I don't think it's is proper. I agree regarding the fact that maybe an ENFJ and I can relate to it, struggle on actually putting serious effort to learn something well....and this is something for ex. I am trying to do now. I think I can be cruel if triggered in a bad way, but when I helped someone it wasn't to get advantages back. It is true I can get disappointed towards people pretty bad, but I don't think it's fair to say that this is because of enfj cruelty or trying to control. I don't relate to this. It is a bit hard Chase, to hear your words here, because it feels very much as an attack and a critic. While I don't think that the potential of Enfj is to help others and that's all. I don't this his equilibrate and honestly I think that it's fair that if you give you want back too. Being just a one way giver it's not healthy and it can make others taking advantage and it seems like you don't have any care for yourself. If you just give it seems and ENFJ has to be this fuel distributor for others and that's it. How can you say that this is ok? And wanting back, as any other type it's just normal, it doesn't mean you want to give to get, but it's just a normal equilibrium of relationships.
its not normal if it is covert
"Do good and throw it in the sea" ....
expect nothing in return, it is liberating
I understand what you’re saying. You wouldn’t be human if you did something completely selflessly. Even if it’s just to make ourselves feel good. It wouldn’t be in our own best interest. And would go against our survival instincts as humans. So I think people are being dishonest when they say that only ENFJs have covert contracts.
@@CSJoseph honestly I think covert is when you do things for others which is often an overdoing is covert. If you instead care genuinely for others but the others just take advantage of this and then don't care less about you, well keeping to give to this people is not being generous but it's being retarded. Frankly I don't think this is the point and I don't think that Enfjs has just the duty to give. We are all humans and we have to honour our individuality too. This doesn't mean taking advanges of others but it doesn't even mean let others taking advantage of you. People that says oh this is so liberating, they are hypocrites. The only free things others can get from me is knowledge, but when it comes to personal relationships things should go both ways or it becomes just a person parasiting the other energies.
Marla S. In my past experience (Infp), I had allowed others to take advantage of me, in a desperate attempt to gain acceptance from them. I lived first hand in win-lose land. In my 30’s, I tried to regain equilibrium in my relationships, so I get what you are saying. A win-win scenario is the ideal. My understanding of this particular lecture, however, is that true caring, true benevolence, is unconditional love. It expects nothing in return for its giving. The balance comes when we meet our own needs, before meeting the needs of others. Fill up your own cup so full, that it spills out into the cups of others.
me crying because ure hard on us but everything u said is true so why am I sad I should write notes on my life strategy journal 🥺
ok I added that to my to do list :’)
Sometimes people cry when they finally fell heard, nothing wrong with that.
why is this so true I bought the book u recommend the neuroscience behind personalities
I really appreciate your videos soo very much
I really don't like you saying that as an ENFJ I am not intelligent or smart. Why should I accept that? So Thinkers have higher IQ to learn new stuff? If I study some subject, am I going to learn slower than a Thinker? I don't think so. The difference is that thinkers spend more time thinking about procedures and truth. On the other hand, cognitive function order will say how my pie is divided, not how big my pie is. Some thinker lazy dude that doesn't spend time studying and have never exercised his brain in college, cannot compete against a feeler that is an engineer or physicist. I had many NT friends with me in the institute and most of the time used their intelligence on video games and not actually earning good grades and learning about stuff that matters. So no, I won't see myself as unintelligent because I am Ti inferior and put thinking in the service of feeling. I won't see myself as dumber than some guy just because he is emotionally guarded/repressed. Cheers.
Nobody said ENFJs aren't intelligent or smart. What I said is they don't listen to others. And they don't, it's a weak spot for them.
@@CSJoseph You said "You have Ti inferior. Does that mean you are the smartest person? No. You can be, as soon as you left go of your pride". Doesn't this mean that Thinkers are by default smarter than me?
@@godmode3611Yes, NTs are way smarter than us. I play video games with an INTP friend and my INTJ brother, they're seriously hella smart with those games while I have to practice and practice to get mastery of it. Sometimes they might not put their minds to the important things but when they do, they are way smarter than ENFJs even without trying.
The way you express is exactly a pride of your Ti, instead of judging NTs learn from them and take their criticism at heart.
I've been able to gain mastery with video games just because I took my friend's criticism to be better at it. I have even defeated them sometimes in 1V1 in COD just because they pointed out my flaws while playing and I had to change my thinking in every strategical map.
See? A video game seems so insignificant but if you're willing to be wise, even for something so ridiculous you can learn.
Go let your pride and realize that yes, you're not as smart as you think you're and you need help in that area of your life.
@@JR-ow8xg They are only smarter if I dont care about learning the same thing as them.
@@godmode3611 Even if you're interested in the same things, just like right now with the lectures of CS Joseph, you can outsmart them if you take the time to listen. CS Joseph is Ti parent, theorically he has the knowledge and experience to know what he is talking about and he is just informing how your personality works. He is not saying we are not intelligent, he is just saying we are not the SMARTEST, but we can be if we just listen to constructive criticism and start developing those areas we lack.
one thing i hate about enfj is that they "need" to help everyone and take some sort of personal offense when you dont let them. Not everyone needs your help.. im istp i hate help unless i ask for it. i hate being guilted into letting yall help me so yall can fulfill your Fe duties. its weird af and uncomfortable. Also stop saying people dont appreciate you when you force yourself on people.. its hella manipulative. Also your ti is not more powerful than mine.. stop tryna act smarter than me. Yall try to school people on basic common sense and shit everyone already knows and you call it wisdom.. pay attention to other peoples knowledge more.. its ok that some people know more than you. Yall nicer than me ill give you that.
Good video and material, but I personally had a difficult time focusing due to the intro being a long
A bit longer*
but appreciate the vid!!
Do ENFJs have high self harm/abuse/suicide rates? I know you talk about this with INFJs. but I was just curious.
Templar types do, INFJ is the worst
OOOOFFFFFFFF
As an ENFJ, I feel that you are very vocally aggressive and possibly even abusive to ENFJs... you call us stupid in every one of your ENFJ videos
To be fair he calls everyone stupid in every video....used to think I was INFJ till I got out more and realized I was in fact ENFJ after his online test....and seeing his other videos, against INFJ it was way worse. Besides, it is very helpful and gives a much needed direct perspective. Perhaps that's conviction you're feeling 🤷♀️
@@ainsleybusenbark2315 you are very insensitive to be an enfj
@@kssgpv 1. I do not see how that was insensitive, simply because it was direct. A defense of pointing out others faults or being too harsh seems to be a theme. 2. The concept that someone can't be one way or act a certain way is ignorant. The vice of ENFJ is cruelty so it's quite possible.
Lol me