Q&A: Overthinking Dishes, Love + The Container Concept, and more.
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
- I'm answering some of the questions I've received over the last month.
Is there a specific time when I should do my dishes? How does my passion for something work with the Container Concept? What happens when the place where I'd look for something is in the pile on the counter? What if the place where I'd look for something is its own decluttering project? Can you do a broken down plan for cooking?
Mentioned: www.aslobcomes...
Join my Patreon group: Patreon.com/aslobcomesclean
Make Dinner Happen: www.aslobcomes...
I remember once (before I had kids), we had a friend over with a baby. They never judged me for being messy, so I didn't panic or feel bad about inviting them, I just scooped laundry off the couches and hid it in our room, made sure there was a clean bathroom to use (not tidy, but clean), and a sanitary place to eat and prepare food. I was proud of myself because I even made sure there were no choking hazards or breakables around in the living room. Then our friend asked where she could change her son's diaper, and I panicked. Our bed was covered in laundry. The bathroom counter was a mess of clutter. I couldn't tell her to use the bathroom floor. We were all sitting on the only couch. I had been so busy just getting rid of the hazards that I hadn't had time to vacuum, and looking at the rug I realized that that was probably why she hadn't put her kid down the whole time we'd been chatting, even though I knew he could crawl. I ended up bringing her the *only* clean towel in the house and spreading it out on the living room floor. She never said a word about it. Simply thanked me and acted like this was totally normal, but I was mortified. I'm even more mortified now thinking back on it from the perspective of having my own babies. So I get it. When some people say they can't have people over, they really CAN'T have people over. I've come a long way (in no small art thanks to you, Dana!), but there were times where I would have thought of that, cringed, looked around my home and made some excuse as to why we couldn't possibly do it at our house and wouldn't a restaurant/park/highway overpass be so much better? I missed out on seeing people I *really* wanted to see more than once because of this, and they were very kind, accepting people. Anyway, that whole novel is just to say, thank you, Dana, for taking time to share your compassion and understanding because while I totally get where that commenter is coming from, it really can be much more complicated than that.
I LOVE the comment on meeting someone on a highway overpass rather than your house as I have done that (years ago when things were harder). I met my sister’s boyfriend that way rather than at her house or mine. My house is now ‘in control’ and I am working on downsizing. Thanks for the laugh!
Very well said. I’ve been in that situation as well and it broke my heart that they were afraid to put their child down or change them. My friend was gracious just like yours and acted as if everything was normal and fine but I was still mortified.
Love your sense of humor! And I can relate from my earlier days. It feels so good to not be this way anymore!
This is real life. It happens. nd its okay. Sometimes we just need to be offered some grace, and a candle to light our way. Maybe even a friend who knows the wY
@@Ellaodi amen to that. ♥️
AND if Mama is the one who wants to keep the Barbies then she needs to make space for them in HER container. As someone who struggles with toy identity clutter I am probably talking to myself 🤦
Shopkins are from the devil jk 😂
Here I am scrolling Dana’s comments and I find my sister 😄👋🏻
I feel the "I'll just have no one over." in my heart. It's not that my friends are mean and judgy (they aren't, they're lovely) it's that I want them to be comfortable. And if they can't sit on the couch because it's covered in laundry and kid's toys.... How can they be comfortable?? If there's no snacks or drinks because my kitchen has no clean dishes in it.. How can they be comfortable?? And if we can't play cards or board games because I have no clear flat surface anywhere in the house.... What was even the point in having them over??
I think getting my house under control is in a weird way, the most selfish thing I have ever done. I want to spend time with my loved ones in my home. I want my kid to have friends spend the night. I want to be the Thanksgiving spot every year. I want out of town company in my guest bedroom. Now that I'm thinking on it, it's all ME ME ME!!
I'm glad other's out there can see me, and understand.
Well said ❤️❤️❤️❤️
"I think getting my house under control is in a weird way, the most selfish thing I have ever done".YESSS! You are my kindred spirit; I totally see you and understand!
Yes! That is absolutely how I feel and what Dana was talking about! ❤️❤️
I even asked my husband once I got sick (I wasn't dying but I felt like I could) to promise me that he wouldn't let anyone in if I die but he would take my dead body out (risking someone seeing him) and only then call the ambulance... You may call it extreme selfishness but there's so much more to it. Those who say it doesn't matter if there's a mess, either never experienced such a mess or they're absolutely shameless.
....more than you know. ❤
You are a gift to the people who need serious help! Even though I’ve gotten control of my house, I watch your videos to learn even more. The container concept, for instance, is priceless.
May I add a thought that’s been immensely helpful to me?
My slogan has become, “little and often.” When applied to dishes, that means that if I have a moment while I wait for the water to boil or the coffee to perk, I wash a couple of dishes. Anything I can do to keep “doing the dishes “ from becoming a big job is good. :)
Jackie, your comment just gave me a big epiphany! My ADHD brain gets SO overwhelmed and when a project feels big (like a sink full of dishes), I want to avoid it all togther. So my mission should be keeping it from becoming big. Do the easy thing (wash 5 dishes at a time, or wash as I dirty them), so it doesn't become hard! I love it.
Good wording, Aimee! My mission is to keep the dishes from becoming a big project.
"Invite people who don't judge"??? Oh isn't that cute? ha ha ha...at this stage in my life ( in my 70's) I clean and keep things nice and organized(since getting all kinds of help from Dana)....anyway I do this for my husband and I...so we can have an easier more peaceful life. And it works! Dana is u are reading....you'd be so proud of me..I have almost completed decluttering 4 rooms and a bathroom !! I have tried over 4 years lots of different strategies but yours is the only one that has gotton me this far and I am so grateful. Thank you!
You have coached me from shame to empowerment, over the years. Thank you for being you on RUclips. I do the dishes once a day at random times...and it works.
And a cheerful coach!
« From shame to empowerment » could totally be a good title for the next Dana’s book. 😄
I was where Dana was when she started. I HAVE nice friends who do not judge me. I judged myself. So those of you who say “invite nicer people over” just might not be getting the way we “slobs” feel. I’m happier now that I’ve decluttered and have a basic routine. A new neighbor came over to borrow something and I had lots of stuff on the counter but I wasn’t embarrassed because it will take me 5 minutes to pick up. I did not apologize saying “‘scuse the mess” or anything. I just warmly welcomed her in. Three years ago I would have been horrified. Dana, you really have made a difference in my life.
Oh how I love you, Dana. First you addressed the fact that not everybody works day shifts. THANK YOU. The phrase "at night before you go to bed" contains a big assumption. Thank you for making it so clear that your principles are to be interpreted for our own circumstances. And second, thank you for honestly acknowledging the degree of shame and humiliation a messy "slob" feels. I hope the people who didn't get that before, have a glimmer of understanding now. Plus, in the case of having family come for a big holiday occasion, you can't swap them out for some "less judgy" people. You're doing the Lord's work, Dana, and bless you for it.
Very, very well said! I agree! ❤️
Totally agree Dana's doing the Lord's work!
I usually can't do the dishes every day because I'm too tired from work. I catch up on them twice a week on my days off and that is awesome for me.
Just finished the 14 Day course in my home. Because I decluttered my living room, there is now an echo in the room!!😂 Who knew!
But these Q&A are very timely because not everyone has the same circumstances. We all have different schedules. So yes, to trying to work out what is best for you!! Love your videos! Please keep them coming! Thank you!! 💕🌴😎
Thank you for your patience and willingness to answer the same or similar questions over and over again, recognizing there maybe newbies or people who haven’t quite grasped all the lessons.
I usually go to bed with a couple dishes in the sink. It doesn’t bother me but I’m sure it would bother others. I do the dishes several times a day bc I don’t run my dishwasher daily. It’s only 2 of us so this works for me. PS why would anyone criticize your 14 days? I thought it was GREAT and I’ve simplified quite a bit. It’s never wrong to do another crash course! I loved it! I’m having Thanksgiving here and I needed it.
I had never heard of the goal of “clean kitchen at night” but once I did, I was like 💡 Oh I want that! So that’s what made me ask 😁. But I love your open ended simple “Do the dishes” that anyone can just start there because, yeah, dishes need doing all the time and once a day at some point is really all that’s necessary, especially at first, when starting on a “getting my house under control” journey. Thanks for the response to my question! I truly love hearing your advice and understanding your method so I can help my friends and family without making them feel overwhelmed/judged. ❤️
"At some point" is so freeing, motivating, & helps to stay on task so tomorrow isn't too overwhelming. I realize thinking I need to do something at a certain time, gets me skip it for the day (my morning health shake) and pretty soon I haven't done it in months.
Dana, your videos have been so refreshing. I am "one of your people". I am like you were, I have not had anyone in our house in years. Some people say their house is clean but cluttered, mine is not so clean and my husband & I both pile things on any & every surface. Thank you for the no mess declutter method. I work late most week nights so my progress is very slow BUT I have hope and I am so glad I am not the only one that has difficulties like this.
🛎 🛎 🛎 “you can keep anything, just not everything”. THIS is perfect!
Thank you for touching on 2009 you. I am that person. Let’s face it, since way before 2009. Even though things are always getting better, I haven’t even had my mom who lives next door in my home in years upon years. It’s really as much of a mental trap as it is just because it’s messy. 💜
I love you addressed the shame and guilt. My husband didn't understand why I was psychotic every time my in-laws would call to say they were popping in...I was ashamed of the clutter. My house was never dirty...but the clutter made me feel like it was embarrassing. My in laws weren't ever judging me- I was. Now they can call from down the street and I am not stressed. These methods work.
I can't wait to be where you are! Sounds calming and relaxing instead of a marathon of OMG that I feel right now.
@@mayaflynnster my husband looked at me like "Is she okay?" The first time that we got a surprise visit call and I was like ok...gonna go wipe down the bathroom...and didn't flip out or scream at him. It feels great. And I don't think there is a magic formula but I cherry pick tips from Dana, Dawn the Minimal Mom and Cass the Clutterbug and it has given direction...which I needed. It does change how you live and shop and clean and wow I wish I knew sooner.
I didn't know how to handle it when I had a mess and my mother in law would "help" by doing what I hadn't done. It was more correction than help. I felt violated.
@@lindamusser7370 ouch that would hurt my feelings. My mother in law is great...it was all self inflicted judgement here. Lol
@@theresahoward7216 I loved my mother in law but not at my house. She just didn't understand boundaries.
Oh my word! When you explained the “I didn’t get them done at the assigned time so I have to wait til tomorrow” mindset. This is my brain. You get me! Finally someone who gets the crazy brain that won’t shut up...lol! Thankyou! Ow to do my dishes... at 12:34 pm....*gasp*
😂 I keep thinking the same thing! She ‘gets’ me/us! Knowing it’s not impossible to really get my spaces under control is priceless... because someone who has crazy pants overthinking like me HAS done it. I’m making soooo much progress with Dana’s mind hacks and mantras... it’s quite thrilling. I can gain a sense of calm when I can claim ‘it’s better than it was’... so I don’t give up when I’m actually making progress but want it to be ‘done’. Changing my perspective and accepting that it’s a process and journey towards a point of ‘stasis’... and that there really isn’t a finish line but that I can develop habits to make daily maintenance not so overwhelming. Thank you DKW... you are a blessing to so many of us who, like you, really do want to figure this out.
Dana I so love your straight forward honesty❤️❤️❤️
I loved what you said about the dishes! I gave myself permission a long time ago to go to bed without having completely clean it rather all the dishes done. That being said I do the dishes sometime during the day usually by noon but at dinner time I clean up the kitchen and do the dishes as much as possible while dinner is cooking. However, I leave the rest for the morning which is usually minimal. I am just too tired after dinner to clean up the kitchen. I gave myself permission to go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink! But just a few! Give yourself permission. 💜💜💜💜💜
So important to give OURSELVES permission! I’m good about doing the dishes (the hubs helps) as we cook & then after the meal. But I am NOT good at an evening tidying up. I am just a pitiful creature at night & realistically am not going to give a flip after about 8 p.m. In college I would go to bed even if I had a big test & just get up super early to study. We have to give ourselves permission to do what works for us!
After watching my sister, who works every day, she loads the dishwasher throughout the day as she dirties dishes… The dishwasher is run at night, immediately when she gets up the next day she makes her bed, and goes straight to the kitchen and puts away all the clean dishes from the dishwasher… Now the dishwasher is ready to receive dishes all day as they are dirty…The dishwasher is not run until night time again and then the next day the dishwasher is empty to receive dirty dishes all day so you never see dirty dishes in her kitchen
That's what I've always done, too.
I call the dishwasher the dishhider. 🤣
I totally get this... and it works. It’s how my parents operate and the kitchen is always under control. However, I fully appreciate the overthinkinker (me) issue. My kids and I have moved in with my parents post divorce. Even though I know the ‘rule’... it felt quite unnatural and I resisted. In my own home the dishwasher always felt subpar to hand washing... and I had finally developed a routine ( it took a long time to get there from dish washing marathons 🤭) that made it easy for me there... but I was out of my element and routine. My setup was very specific. A few certain tools/process and nothing else on the sink or counter space to distract me. I could hand wash dinner for five including cooking pots in under 15 minutes. ( I timed it at 13 min once 💪🏼 😬). There were no variables. It was like a game. Breakfast and lunch cleanup was 1-3 minutes tops. Timing the actual activity helped spur me on and proved it wouldn’t take ‘forever’ like I thought. But now my environment had changed and I was put in a place that had another system and it didn’t allow for my setup. I know. It’s weird. ( perfectionisms ugly head ) Now, mostly, I rinse and put in the sink. It is such an easy 2-10 second🤔 step to put them in the dishwasher... and it still feels hard. It was a habit that I needed to establish. For the chronic over thinker, lol... easier said than done, even with a perfectly practical solution in place. Thank goodness for my folks system tho. I’ve gotten better... and often can clean the kitchen here in no time too. It just takes time to establish habits that go against natural tendencies but we can do this 💪🏼... of course, I do have the gift of a dad who can’t stand dishes in the sink and has a habit of filling and running the dishwasher at night and he empties in the morning. He doesn’t wipe down counters or clean the stove ... and if it’s something that needs hand washing ... well, that’s still me or mom. Lol. It works tho. 🥰
I used to do this but this changed after COVID and we all are home all the time. Need to get back to this habit.
This is what I do now all the time.
After watching loads of Dana’s videos.
My aunt has no dishwasher. So she stacks them neatly on a tray and does them all at once “ when she gets a chance” ! It works for her and the place looks neat all day.
Having never been shown the skills of living in a clean and organized space...I am still learning and tweaking my routines.
It's a journey!!
same here!!! My parents were (are) great but were never great at organizing/tidying/decluttering, and I didn't learn these skills. As a family, we were good at keeping the house CLEAN (dishes, vacuuming, making beds, etc) but some things were always cluttered: our biggest issue has always been paper clutter. I thought this was normal, and I feel comfortable in a "nest." I have been learning so much from Dana and friends (Dawn, Cass, Callie) that I wish I knew so much earlier in life!!! I started my decluttering journey recently: research and videos about 5 months ago, downsizing/decluttering about 2 months ago. Started small: the stack of (junk) mail on the kitchen barstool that was starting to overflow... then the top of my desk that was distracting and stressing me out during the workday... then the desk drawer... then the kitchen utensil drawer... then a bathroom cabinet... Last weekend we held a 2-day yard sale and emptied half of my basement! Progress!!! (oh, and the barstool that was holding all the junkmail, as a catch-all flat-surface, since it wasn't being used as extra seating when we have guests over - yeah, sold it in the yardsale. lol) There's still LOTS to tackle, but I am learning along the way!
Love how open you are to have Reid make such “editorial” credits! 😂😂😂 Real life!
I know for me it isn't the judgement of friends, but the judgement of myself that keeps me from having friends over.
Hi Dana, I have your book. I’m in Tasmania Australia and am 68 years old. There is SO much work ahead for me to declutter and simplify. I think it’s really important to keep on top of one’s fitness during the years of child raising and working. I didn’t and always had a messy house - no one was ever allowed into my house at short notice. The photos of the rooms on birthdays and other celebrations from those years look ok because I practically killed my self tidying and cleaning up (superficially) before relatives and friends came. Once you get to 55 /60, there’s a thing called senescence- the body just steadily deteriorates and energy levels plummet. I’m still not fit and have osteoarthritis now as well. Ive just bought a good rowing machine to improve my aerobic fitness and regret not keeping myself fit earlier. I want to advise younger women not to omit keeping fit and also making sure all the decluttering and simplifying is done many years ahead of becoming a ‘senior’. Everything physical is so much harder then.
Thanks Dana for inspiring so many people around the world !
Overthinking! Yes! I was just sitting here this morning trying to decide “the BEST” way to deal with all of the things that need doing. Reminded me of your video a long time ago about trying to find the perfect way/place to donate your vehicle. I really have made progress in this area, mainly b/c of you & b/c of your advice to go for “better, not perfect.” So thanks! I continue to be amazed at how much our brains are alike!
Same Same 🙋🏻♀️🥰
@@bxrrislayy Sort of frightening that our brains work alike. Maybe we should start a club. :)
Right?! ‘Overthinker’s Anonymous’ 🤯 Note: I’m already overthinking that 🤔😆
@@bxrrislayy Of course you are! :). Me too!
I love how understanding you are to the people who are just overwhelmed by everything. I used to be so ashamed of the clutter and state of our apartment after I had a baby that I didn't want anyone to come over really which made it harder on me because I probably could have used and gotten more support if I had.
As an over thinker, I have been regularly running the dishwasher at night. I empty in the morning then throughout the day after each meal time I take literally take less than a minute each meal time to load. Then at the end of the day all I have to do is run the dishwasher. I usually soak my pans, so I scrub them at the end of the day or when I get a chance in the middle of the day. My kitchen sink is pretty much clean most of the time ( with the occasional pan that I don’t put in the dishwasher). Do I have slip ups sometimes? Yes, and that’s ok. We just move on from the moment we are in right now.
I have a rule for the dishes: DON'T LET THE FOOD DRY! Washing the dishes is part of the dining process for me. I can't move on to the next thing in my day until the dishes are done. it's a 3 step process. Cook, eat, wash. All together in immediate consecutive order! You would be shocked how easy it is to wash dishes with fresh food still on them instead of dry crusty crap. ESPECIALLY ICE CREAM BOWLS OMG!!
I just cannot clean the kitchen at night. I am just too exhausted at the end of the day. I do dishes as coffee brews in the morning and while I am cooking supper. I just don't care anymore if a few things are in the sink anymore.
Thank you, Dana. Your "way" really resonates with me. Your container concept is absolutely brilliant. 🌻
1). It's nice if the dishes are all cleaned up at night, but neither my husband nor I (nor my grown son who doesn't live here any more) mind doing dishes in the morning when we are still groggy. It's quiet and peaceful, and you don't have to think. 2). I'll go clear up the dishes if I'm wondering what I SHOULD do. Because it never hurts to have the dishes done, and because while you're doing the dishes you can think of what to do next. 3). I remind myself that controlling my physical environment does not come naturally to me, as it seems to for most people. But then I remember that I can do math. Ha! And I remind myself that I just need to find ways to work around my quirks. I am still embarrassed when people come over, but I tell them I would rather they came, because I do love to see them. 4). I do love your philosophy on all of this, as well as your very practical suggestions!
Doing the dishes in the morning while the coffee perks is what works for me too. My sleepy brain doesn’t have to think about it! 🙂
I am one of those people whose is filled with shame about the condition of my home right now. I am so glad to have found you and I appreciate your compassion and understanding. I also completely agree about the time to do the dishes. I have a husband who starts eating his dinner at 6:00 p.m. (yes he prepares his own food - lucky me) but going to bed with all the dishes done was often impossible. I like the "just do the dishes" concept - simple and to the point. Thank you for your openness and some day I hope to be able to say - I did it!!
You can do it! 5 or 10 minutes at a time. Literally set a timer and do just 5 or 10 minutes every day (or multiple 5 or 10 minute sessions per day, if you are up to it). You will be amazed at the progress. Then, it becomes like a snowball rolling downhill. Your decluttering muscles build up and soon you make faster and better decisions.
@@dannyh9010 Thank you for your encouragement.
I discovered that if I set a 3 minute timer, I can usually get about 10 dishes hand washed and dried and put away. Only THREE MINUTES.
If I do this throughout the day, I’m never overwhelmed by the task. And I can move on to something else quickly. I do the same for laundry because I’m an adult who has the attention span of a preschool child. 😂. Work with what you’re given.
So right. ONCE I accepted that doing the dishes was just going to happen, I FOUND that I could bring my laptop into the kitchen and watch./listen to my favorite news program at the same time, so it happens every night at the same time AND I ENJOY DOING IT! It became pleasurable. So miraculous.
I'm fortunate to have grown up with a mommy who was Martha Stewart before Martha Stewart was born! Mom and her best friend used to talk about how to hang laundry so it was easier to fold and they shared tips about keeping the house tidy. They both modeled keeping house and I picked up the tradition! I don't have the struggle of doing dishes but I sympathize with those who struggle.. I love watching your videos because you have a fabulous sense of humor and I am sure you have helped oodles of people!! Bless your heart.. Happy Thanksgiving, Dana Kay!
I think that is a valid point. We clean and tidy really for ourselves. We want to be good hosts, we want to show our guests that they are important, special and worth a fuss. It makes ME feel good. My guests don't really care, but I know they appreciate the effort.
I totally agree! ❤️
I hope you know how much you have LITERALLY changed peoples lives! I could never get a grasp on all my stuff. When I would clean something, which was just clutter moving, it always exploded again by the next day. Your strategies are so helpful and I'm so grateful that you started a slob comes clean (adorable name btw😄) because without it I would have lived my whole life thinking I was a failure. Thank you so much Dana, a.k.a. Nony! 😄
I totally agree. Her methods are the only "expert system" that mean anything to me at all, except Dawn/minimalist mom, but Dawn is a little advanced for how much stuff i have lol.
Dana gets it. It's so nice to have someone who gets it and can help. I am struggling still because of outside limits. But Dana and Dawn have made a concrete improvement in my home because they helped me see things differently in a way that helps me manage my stuff (and have dishes to eat off of). I'm so grateful.
I thought you said the kids wanted to get rid of Barbies so they could keep shotguns. 😂
Oh dear, she might have had different advice had that been the case! lol
So my coffee hasn’t kicked in yet…I swore you were saying “shot guns”! 😂
We’re gonna need a bigger container! 🐬😂
@@dannyh9010 😂
I did too. What are they anyway?
@@glendaw5221 shopkins
Some of us have lots of people visit who would never judge us, but we judge ourselves. And I think that's OK. Im proud of my house when everything is put away and it's all clean and I want my guests to see my clean beautiful home too. If you don't, and that doesn't bother you, then that series isn't for you.
Another great Q&A thank you 😊 also I keep hearing your voice un my head saying "just do the dishes " lol thank you!
"The shame and humiliation that some of us have over our homes. 🙋
Gosh you are so helpful! Thank you so much for helping me get my house and my life under control. Do the Dishes and the Container Concept have literally changed my life!! I have been working so hard on this and been succeeding! My trouble is getting the husband and small kiddos (ages 4 and 1.5) on board to my level :/
I want my kitchen clean at night.
It usually takes 15 or 20 minutes.
My theory is “I don’t want to start my next day working around dirty dishes. To me, that’s starting off in the hole and will affect your mood for your next morning.
Leaving dirty dishes sit draws bugs
Possibly even mice.
I've never seen bugs or rodents from leaving dishes in the sink over night, at my home or any family members' or friends' homes. Being consistent is what Dana is encouraging here. Not shame for not having something done at a particular time of day. Leaving dishes in the sink for 12 hours between breakfast and dinner is the same as leaving them in the sink for 12 hours between dinner and breakfast.
The end of this one 🥲 thank you for sharing your journey and helping others know we are not alone and their is hope!
Omg u look amazing! Did u lose weight?
Thank you for sharing so much compassion for the variety of thinkers out there. It’s so refreshing and encouraging.
I’m that person who hesitates to host anything at my house because of the clutter and things just not having a home. With your help, I’m making progress. I would still rather go to family and Friends rather than host but I’m getting there!
I loved this, thank you! I don’t just want my house to be decluttered for company, I like it decluttered for the peaceful feeling it gives me. And on a practical note - it’s easier to clean when you don’t have stuff everywhere. 😊
I really luv the dishes Q & A! Dishes has always been a struggle to keep done up on a consistent basis. The part I related to the most was with when to do them. In a perfect world I would do them as they got dirty. I've tried making schedules to do things at certain times(time blocking).. BUT like you said if something came up at that time then they just didn't get done. So I just do them when I can. I shoot for at least once a day. The scheduling part on when just stressed me more than the dishes.
P.S. I also luv "the container concept" . I also relate to not wanting any one over. Thank you for your videos!
Regarding the discussion about either having non-judgy people over vs no one over, the issue behind it all is that there is still a house out of control. Whether visitors are there, or not. And if you want the house to be comfortable for you and your family, it's a learning curve.
I LOVE your container concept philosophy. So helpful.
(PS: I watched some of your old blogs, and I'm sure glad that you now have a microphone. )
I think for the toy question, I would make a deal with the child: Choose what toys to keep in the container for a week, then choose again. Mom stores the extras. This could be a one week process for one child, a repeat (with a limit) for another, or even a permanent routine of swap-in-and-out if there's space elsewhere for the extras. Teaches decision making along with the declutter. Win-win!
Thank you for briefly talking about your cooking book. I have followed you with Dawn now over a year and I never knew you had a cooking book. By the sounds of it, it looks like exactly what I've been looking for. I've tried freezer meals, but the family likes cooked meals on that day, so I think your style will work perfectly! You Dawn and Cass have helped me so much! Thsnk you!
Dana, I love how real your response was at the end of this video. I have been too humiliated to let people in my house and it wasn't really all that bad. If I can get it "guest ready" in an hour then I've accomplished my goal at this time in my life. That doesn't mean "perfect," it means "not humiliatingly messy." As I get more areas decluttered and organized I've reduced the "guest ready" time. It used to take two of us 2 days and now it's just me in an hour. I'm feeling pretty good about that. Thanks for your help. Also, I've stopped apologizing for the condition of my house. I've decided it's just not bad enough to apologize for. It's also not worth the stress. Just do the dishes (and make the beds!) :)
I mostly wash dishes after every meal( agricultural living, 3 big meals every darn day) unless we eat our evening meal real late. I have way more energy in the morning so half the time I do supper dishes with breakfast dishes
This would be a big ask, and I appreciate it could be way too intrusive for you. But you mention how bad your home was in 2009 and I wondered if you’ve ever shared any photos of how it used to be? I’m sure lots of people would love to see how far you’ve come and what a difference your methods can make! 100% understand if that’s not a thing you’d like to do of course.
The photos are all on the blog! Https://www.aslobcomesclean.com If you go to “get started” it tells you how to read from the beginning
Your course on 14 days to prepare for guests, was very helpful. I downloaded it and read through it while also watching some of your companion videos. I got off to a good start. 15 total for our Family Thanksgiving party on Saturday the 20th. I had most of the grocery shopping done, fridge cleaned out, main "entertainment" areas of the house vacuumed and steam mopped. Then on tuesday afternoon I got sick and had to stay in pjs and rest. Then my adult kids pitched in and helped prepare, serve and clean up so that we could still have our celebration as scheduled (because we have the largest space for groups and they had commitments with their spouses' families). So these "margins" created by your plan really made it work for me!! Thank you!!
I unload our dish washer in the morning before I leave for work (takes about 5 minutes or even less if my son it there to help) so the days dishes can go in as used all day and we run it before we head to bed when itsit's full (about every 2 days). We rarely have dishes in the sink.
You both are so real and down to earth and funny, you make decluttering much more enjoyable to do by watching your videos! Thank you for all your sharing and encouragement, love you dearly❤️
Thank you Dana!! I like that doing the dishes can be flexible, but MUST be done… most of the time it’s after dinner so I can empty the dishwasher while I’m waiting for the coffee maker, but sometimes at night it’s just too much, and because of you I don’t call myself a failure and just give up until we run out of dishes and no longer can see the sink!! 😊
The folks who would condemn us for our clutter have a "project mindset". Decluttering is an "ongoing process". We give up from overwhelm if we accept their mindset.
Thank you! I'm where you were in 2009. I actually love my home and I love to entertain but now I can't without being embarrassed. And it isn't because the people I would invite would judge but because it is so bad they don't have a place to sit and visit. Thank you for your transparency. I'm beginning today and I hope with the 14 days we can have family Christmas in our house this year!
Hahahaha- I do not like doing dishes at night! I would much rather tidy in the morning, before I'm awake enough to do any critical thinking. Thanks for mentioning us oddballs!
Love that I found you! Been cluttering up my place for four years and am getting ready for a big move. I used to not let anyone in my house except my Mom cause she didn’t judge me for my mess. And now I can say that I am ready for the movers to do a pre-move assessment without any worry that someone will report me to hoarders. Thanks for all the tips and tricks as it’s been going well and I was ready to let go of things so others could better use them and realize that not every thing was sentimental.
I guess the way that I was taught to do dishes, by my mother, as well as my Home Economics teacher, is dead. It's called wash as you go. As you are cooking your meal...you use a measuring cup, wash it. You use the cutting board...wash it etc. etc. By the time the meal is cooked, all the dishes are clean. Then as soon as you finish eating, do those dishes immediately, by either putting them in the dishwasher or hand wash them. If you ever decide to do this, you will never really have to DO dishes again.
Good Morning Dana!!! Thanks for all of your videos….
I watch your videos because I pick up useful tips even at 64 yo. I do not have much clutter but the container concept is genius and that is just one of your ideas tgat I have used.
OMG 😃 your shirt says do your dishes! LMAO..but seriously
Our air fryer has been the best thing that happened to dinner in our house. I can make a good dinner faster than we can go get take out or delivery with minimal clean up, and we're eating A LOT better!
What works best for me is doing the dishes in the morning… And then doing them again before I go to bed. I wanna wake up the following morning and feel like I'm a guest in my own home. I want to come out and have the kitchen cleaned and ready to go. But that's just me!
Dawn at her channel “Minimal Mom”
Got rid of any dishes that were excess beyond one meal’s dishes… She taught her four children to wash their own plate and their own cup and their own silverware each time they were used… It didn’t happen immediately… but it became routine. This is a small portion of dishes for each child to wash and sit in the strainer… If everyone in the family would do that, they would have one set of dishes to wash and you wouldn’t have six sets to wash… If they didn’t wash Their own plate, cup and silverware, then they would have to do that before they could eat the next meal. Each person finds a solution as Dana said. Find your system and it will become routine.
That's way too extreme for me. We use lots of plates, but everything's kept clean and tidied up. I couldn't stand to be as extreme as her method.
@@annw1395 I am old, and my own kids are grown and on their own, but I wish my mother had taught me and my siblings to be responsible for more of our own messes. She struggled so, and we were very little help to her. Then when we left the nest, we took our messy habits with us. Dana and Dawn have changed my life.
I did a version of this several years ago when there was five of us at home. I was fortunate to have a cupboard in the garage where I kept extra place settings for when we would have guests... realizing that most days it was only the five of us. I narrowed it down quite a bit this way... and kept dishes manageable. It started because magically with only five people, at the end of the day there might me 15 cups! Lol. I bought 5 different mugs from the second hand store, that fit each persons personality, and that was thier water cup to use all the time. No guessing who’s was who’s. They sat on the counter by the sink. Little hacks like this saved me so much insanity that came from the non useful comment to myself and my family ‘use one cup and keep track of it’ lol. Yeah. Ok. Oops. Lol
I need it. It’s for me. I love how you are silly saying things many of us say. Thank you for all the words… (I need words lol)
I love your channel. I am working my way from how you were in 2009. Its difficult to get things under control when you're overwhelmed. You have changed my life. I still don't let people in my house, but I am doing better every day. I'll get there eventually.
Also what is Patreon? I read your emails & watch your videos. First time today I heard Patreon.
This... www.patreon.com/aslobcomesclean . Also, Dana's podcasts are the best, I listen to them while I'm... doing the dishes... and doing the laundry.
My sister holds to the principle of "dirty a dish, wash a dish"...yikes! Yes, the sink is never full and the kitchen looks great. Sometimes I can, other times I just don't care. 😳
I started to do part of the dishes at 6:00 like cleaning the table off and the plates because I’am way tired 🥱 after I cooking and eating if you had more people who didn’t do the cooking that would work
Just do it!!! That's what I had to do. Thank you Dana! I so appreciate you❤ my southern family would say "there is more than one way to skin a cat"
Do the dishes…… look, look, look……when I see dishes, I do the dishes.
So excited for a video! Your 14 days in a row had me spoiled! ☺️
Ps, very random, love your hair like that
Laughed so hard.... You clearly said "Shopkins" but I heard "shotguns" 😂😂😂
My husband said he would like you to make him a shirt that says "make me a sandwich" so he can just face me and point. Lol 😂
And then you can have a shirt that says "make it yourself" 😉
So everyday I say do the dishes! We cook and eat all day! Been so happy to see the empty dirty side all day.
The people's kitchen who is always clean probably only eat sandwiches. I cook traditional Mexican food. My kitchen always has big pots out. I'm always cleaning but it looks messy. I have no counter space everything ends up on kitchen table.
Whilst I hold no judgement to how anyone likes to keep their kitchen, I will say that my kitchen has almost clear counters permanently, I never have dirty dishes stacked up and I cook every single day, sometimes 2, 3 or more times if my kids need to eat separately or if we have guests over. So it can be done. It doesn’t HAVE to be, but it CAN be. And I work full time so it’s not like I have hours to spare that I can devote to cleaning. I will say I’m a big fan of one pot/tray cooking though which certainly helps
@@cornwallsharon81 It helps when as a family we clean the kitchen. It gets done in 10 minutes. My kitchen does get clean until I make dinner, I'm trying to find recipes my husband likes that are more simple. He is from Mexico and very traditional. The only counters I have are small spaces on either side of the sink. Very frustrating
Not true. I cook full meals every day. Clean as you go. If we ever eat a sandwich it’s usually paired with soup - Like you would order in a restaurant
I really needed to hear this. I've always hated doing dishes and felt overwhelmed nearly all of my life.
So beautiful! That last answer. I love your wisdom so much. There is so, so much shame around our housework.
Most of my family does their own dishes as they use them. I tend to beat myself up when there are dishes in the sink in the morning. Those are usually after dinner dishes. The reality is that they are normally done in 5 minutes. When I am extremely tired, I HATE doing the dishes. If I take the self loathing out of it, a few dishes in the morning aren't bad.
👐QUESTION! QUESTION! I have a QUESTION!! I need help knowing how to deal with the spaces in my home where there is far more space to store items than there are items that I am willing and able to manage. I have spaces in my home where I can use the container concept easily such as my kitchen and bathrooms, but my bedroom is a different story. I don't have enough and don't want to have enough clothing, etc to fill all the drawers and closet space. Mentally, however, this is a hurdle for me because I end up not feeling the need to get rid of things that I never use and don't want to take care of anymore. I throw them in the empty spaces and make those spaces appear to have a purpose. I'm exhausted carrying the emotional weight of these items that are taking over my home. What do you suggest to help me overcome this issue? How can I change my perception of unneeded space and be comfortable with it? Maybe it will help you to understand that I look at my spaces as puzzles. I like things to fit the space so they aren't cramped but also not free to move too much. This is a real problem. It causes me to have a hard time functioning in and making decisions about my spaces.
Peri....Have you tried hanging a picture or a mirror in that empty space....maybe stencil a quote on the wall? You can do this even in the bottom portion of your closet or the space above an empty shelf. It will take up visual space so it doesn't look "naked" without creating another space to clean.
@@thurst3224 I appreciate your response. I will definitely think about these possibilities! Thank you🌷
My energy (to do ANYTHING) drops off a cliff some time between 6:00pm and 9:00pm. it can't be predicted more precisely than that. so I try to make myself do the dishes BEFORE then, (e.g., before 1:00pm), regardless of if I'm going to make more dishes dirty after that time. That works,...because that's how my circadian rhythm operates, and I have had to accept that. Recently found you on RUclips and stumbled on your books, which I enjoy immensely and from which I have already benefited!
Thank you, thank you , thank you. I didn't know you were living inside of my head, yet here you are! (Big sigh of relief. I'm not crazy)
Though I do only invite people over who won’t judge me; I’m already judging myself. Therefore, I need your help to get to where ME, MYSELF, and I are comfortable with people being here ❤️
I am where u were in 2009 (and have been struggling in that same way for over 15yrs & 5 houses!) so I totally get the ABSOLUTELY CAN'T have anyone come inside the house!
My parents have been pack rats/hoarders in their own way my whole life. So thru that environment & battling depression most of my adult life (I'm 47) there were cleared spots and not cleared spots (I think I've kept Rubbermaid in business w all the totes we have!
I have seen u on collabs w Dawn & Cas but took this week to watch your videos from Nony to this one!
Thank u for being truly real & unapologingly genuine...w enough humor to take the sting out of the hard truth on the path to realization/success!❤
I was there just 3 yrs into just throwing it out. For almost 20 years Nobody was invited over. Thank you Dana❤
I do appreciate your honesty. The struggles in keeping a house are valid. I’m a new sub. 😊❤️
I am loving your new videos, frequent uploads, and wonderful advice. Keep up the good work, Dana!
I watch your videos because it motivates me. Thank you!
💜 You’re welcome! 😂
I am a Professional Organizer because I was born loving everything about having and keeping things in order. I even watch videos like yours after working with clients all day because I find them relaxing. I want to applaud you; I think you are always spot on and just delightful and charming. I am sure you help a lot of people.
Ellen; Philadelphia
My issue is....is it clean enough...to a fault.🥴 I'm not crazy 😂 but ultra clean and neat can be an issue, too. Dana, you make it all real and doable. You're just a gem 💎 😍
Oh my! I’ve heard done is better than perfect 100 times, but the way you just explained it was revelation to me. That’s how my brain works too!! 😳
I found that if the dishwasher isn’t full by the end of the day I start the dishwasher anyway. If it’s full early, mid-day, etc. I run it then of course. By at least running the dishwasher by the end of each day I always have the things I need first thing every morning and if I bake, cook, etc. and the dishwasher was already 1/2 to 3/4 full my dishes get backed up and then I get grumpy! 😆🙃
Haha, I think there will always be people that judge. The declutter process is actually doing something about it. Also, those who want to judge, who made them God? Lol