I think everyone who hears this wants to give Ren a hug. I only 'found' Ren in March, but it's been a beautiful thing to be a part of the growing community of fans and reactors who have embraced everything that Ren does, and to know that Ren SEES all this love, and encouragement for him. ❤
He was on twitch today and wants everyone to know he’s okay. He wanted to check in with his fans tho to make sure WE were okay, since he knew the song might stir up some stuff. The stream started out with him really making his fans feel supported and it ended in an argument about how many potatoes he could hold at once. He said over 30, but I think he’s full of it 😂😂
@@LeeannG I haven't laughed so much in a long while. Flipping hilarious, with lots of running jokes going right the way through. I wonder if Cillian is going to get bombarded 🤣🤣🤣
@@tundiel I know! It was probably one of the best song release streams I’ve ever seen. Such a good vibe. I like what he said too about grief, about how it doesn’t really hurt less but the intervals that it consume you get farther and farther apart.
“I feel blessed to just be alive at the same time as this guy” I had this exact thought yesterday!! Glad I’m not the only one that feels this way. Ren makes my heart ache, like literal chest pain. Great reaction ❤
The courageous and non conforming powerful Ren. He hasn't planned any of this, it is just purely the result of authenticity pouring out of the man. To take a taboo and difficult word such as suicide and repeat it over and over again in such a catchy melody is part of the magic. Normalising it then surround it with brilliant lyrics and finish it off with his own heart wrenching vulnerable lived trauma. We are witnessing a break through moment through this lad. Powerful powerful Ren. Stay the course mate, stay unaffected by the noise that's coming. Stay away from legacy media and the lure of new media. Stay away from shiny things, you are the shiny thing.
I hope we protect Ren - “ stay unaffected by the noise that’s coming …stay away from shiny things “- your words are so true . If you watch Uncle MOMO - he knows REN’s work and was the first person to do a reaction to Hi Ren - and spoke directly to Ren - that he will be great but he needs to prepare for what that brings - it was a prophesy - Ren has become great .
Song is so powerful and it ripped my heart out too and shredded it. Tears during and every reaction since too. I just want to hug Ren. He can channel such pain into such a force. RIP Joe... I can see how much you are loved.
I lost my 25 year old son to cancer last year... I still can't find the words to describe how it feels... The fact that I knew he was going to die... The fact that he died 11000 kilometers away from me... The fact that he is GONE... We need to talk about death in all its forms, we need to break the taboo, death happens, we need to talk about it ❤
You are right, the chorus is catchy AF. Ren is doing beautiful and important things with his art by leading the way in voicing things we don’t talk about enough. But not only is he getting us talking about suicide, he is making us sing it too 😅 The more recent addition of the ending part really completed the song. And made it utterly heart wrenching 😢 What a beautiful way of putting it into words and music. We definitely need Ren. He is making thousands of people cry with him and wanting to give him a hug. Man is something very special.
@@Silkytoaster RUclips Channel renmakesmusic - community area Ren wrote: "Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised."
Nobody was reafy for this. No matter how much we thought we were! And that's okay. Ren has broken a taboo with this and opened up a space for conversation of grief, guilt, anger, pain and despair 🪽🪽🪽
First of all I love this song and the video on so many levels. For me the first part of the video looks at all the reasons someone might be feeling when contemplating suicide. The gray and blurry background, the disjointed and disturbing images of REN. It all works to create a feeling of being alone in a very bleak and harsh vision of the self and the world….it feels disconnected and hopeless. The words he raps are all pain and anguish and yet despite all of this he knows that there may only be darkness and nothingness when you fall through the cracks to the other side….so it’s never the right time for suicide. In the second part of the video the background is much lighter but the face and words REN speaks are all about the hurt and guilt suicide creates for those who are left behind. Not only dose he miss his friend but he also misses the part of his life and himself that died with his brother. The take away message for me; no matter how painful and hard life is their is always the possibility for things to get better….life is fragile but as long as there is life their is hope. If your are having suicidal thoughts hold on, reach out for help and support. As a nurse and as someone dealing with depression I know that the mental health sector needs reform. We need to get away from the almost total reliance on pharmaceuticals. More holistic ways of helping people are desperately needed. Suicide, we don’t like to think about it or talk about it. In todays world we are told we cannot even use the word anymore, as if that helps…this is absurd! If we can’t discuss it we cannot help ourselves or anyone else. REN we are so glad you learned how to dance with your demons. You are so courageous and a much needed voice for our times. We love you for opening up your heart and your mind to us. Big ups to you for sharing your genius, your creativity and musical artistry you’re such a breath of fresh air. We love you for choosing life ✌🏼🫶🏼🙏🏽
Your comment , your analysis man, its so on point. , the thing about stopping relying on artificial meds. man and about the word being considered taboo. touche man. You said Excellent!
I’ve noticed that Ren appeals to a broad age bracket. I’m in my 60s but I could swear he’s in my generation. I was also amazed that there are so many senior citizens his fan base
People tend to miss the line "Treading on the tracks in the nightime." Followed by "Never really felt like the right time." Ren is referencing walking on train tracks at night, when the trains can't see you. A contemplative walk where you contemplate if you're going to move if a train comes or if you'll just stand there. Deep deep shit. Edit: Also, "treading down tracks" has a double meaning of writing music.
This song is for all those left behind. Way too many of us feel this song with every fiber of our beings, which is why it needs to be done. So grateful its Ren.
Left behind here Miss my brother TY his birthday is tomorrow June 11,2023 April 2014 was last time I recognized who I am, because without my only Sibling, my little brother, my bestfriend, only 18months apart into dysfunctional home, I've only ever known myself as an older sister whose instinct was to protect him.... I failed!, I couldn't protect him from himself and in that instant I lost the only thing I loved about myself... my little brother...my whole life's memories aren't the same when you're sitting there reliving them as you stare blankly, tears falling,talking aloud doesn't change the fact yourself by yourself while symbolic ashes sit collecting dust over 9 years on the shelf. It's hard when you no longer can relate to the reflection in the mirror, because in an instant you're forever changed into someone else, I suppose symbolically you leave the dust how else can you be represented with him on that shelf. His skin turned once into Ashes as mine daily to Dust, Brother and Sister Ashes and Dust talking to yourself
That is so heartbreaking. Please always remember that you have a value in yourself, in your own being. Not only because you once was a sister. I hope that you have friends who can be there for you. Seak help if you need it. Listen to Ren and other great musicians. Find beauty in the incomplite, crazy, ugly but wonderful world we all are living in. I wish you all the best ❤️
You’re the first reactor I’ve seen that has correctly captured the Fibonacci sequence and double Dutch line. You’re right that in British slang double Dutch means gibberish
I don't normally watch reaction videos, especially people I don't know, because what can they bring to my life. But your video showed up next to Ren's song somehow, and somehow, driven by the mood, I decided to give it a chance. I do not regret. Watching your reactions, or rather listening to them because something kept falling into my eyes, I was able to sort out what I felt listening to this song this morning. Many of us have been through a lot in our lives, but Ren can perfectly dress it in a musical envelope, thanks to which others can find solace. Thanks a lot for explaining "Double Dutch", I wasn't familiar with this term as English is not my native language. In my country, the equivalent of this idiom is "sounds like Chinese". Thanks again and see you in the next reactions to Ren's work.
I've watched a few reactions, and you're the only one who understood 'Double Dutch' in the way that I've always understood it... Along with the Fibonacci sequence interpretation, I think you hit the nail on the head.
In the past I've heard the term used in this way. Last night it was pointed out to me that Double Dutch is the name of a hairstyle of infinity braids. I think his love of double or triple meanings means it can be all the interpretations.
Double Dutch is a style of jump roping where two people on the ends use two jumps ropes in opposite directions while the person in the middle jumps. It’s really hard lol
Most British people would recognise double Dutch as confusing and incomprehensible. I'm guessing that's how Ren would gave meant it too. Though your theory of the jump rope game fits the narrative too. That's the beauty of music and art. It's so individual, right?
@@TheRealityleak good point! I also wasn’t aware there was any other explanation for that term until this video tbh. I was also coming from a place of visual cues too, I could actually see both the things in my head. But nothing is really ever just surface level with Ren I don’t think. I’ve learned a lot from his songs
You are the first to get the meaning of "I see the world in Fibonnaci series and Double Dutch". Basically, I see the complexity and plan in nature or humanity but I do not understand or am confused by it's meaning. I want to give Ren a hug also. But he will break me when he hugs back.
I love these lines , in addition to the beauty of golden ratio, Fibonacci each step is built from the 2 previous steps. And double Dutch is non-stop obstacles coming at you from both directions
I think its important that its catchy and it really is! Because it is catchy though, you remember it AND its message. The nature of his art always blows me away
Fuck, this is going to be a long comment. Fishtank and Ren, thank you for this video. It hit right at ground zero for me. 2006 I met the most beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman in the world and how she fell in love with me is still a mystery, but she did. She was a multi millionaire, I was just a poor country boy who worked as a drillhand. She had been Miss Alabama, I was covered in mud. I was hitting way above my weight. So, I bought a ring and she said yes before I could finish my proposal. That was the good times..... She was sick. She had a Chiari malformation that caused almost endless pain and she was on a 75mg fentanyl patch. The 30 day prescription never lasted and the only thing that would ease the pain until she could get another dose was alcohol.... I had just started a new job where I could be home every evening to be with her instead of being a thousand miles away. I needed to be professional and undistracted, so while going through the last day on training, I left my phone in my truck.... Training done. I go to my truck and check my phone. I have 5 messages, and multiple missed calls from Michelle, that was her name. All telling me how much she loves me and begging me to come home. I texted her back and said I love you too and I'll get us a pizza on the way home. I also tried calling, but she didn't answer..... I finally made it home, but she didn't come outside. She would usually come and jump into my arms every time I pulled in the driveway. I walk into our house and call her name. No response. I go upstairs still listening for her when I hear the raspy breathing. I follow the sound to our bedroom. She's lying on the bed face covered in blood. I immediately thought she had fell and hit her head on the nightstand and climbed into bed ( blacking out and fainting is a common side effect of a Chiari malformation). I called 911 to get medical help. I told them what was happening and about her labored breathing. She was on her back, so the operator told me to roll her on her side to help clear her airways.... That's when the gun fell out of her hand....... She died in my arms while I waited on the paramedics. I got to see heaven for a year or so, then I was sent right back to the hell of reality.
Jesus Christ I’m so sorry. That’s gut wrenching and there are no words that could help you but hopefully this music is somewhat therapeutic and that you’re not alone. You made her life great and that’s all you could ever do. Please don’t blame yourself as it’s never in our hands. Be well
I feel the same way. I want to hug him and let him know we are here for him. This is a rough one. I thought it was brutal, it was beautiful and most importantly it was important! Just the fact that he repeats the word Suicide so many times - because it's a subject we have to deal with. That he uses the first 2 verses to tell about how he himself has thought about it; but that it was like there was never "the right time" - Also from there move on to what it did to him that his friend Joe committed suicide. It makes an enormously painful impression. I love Ren and I found this track his most brutal, but also his most vulnerable. I love the lyrics and I love the visual expression ❤
Your take on the second half is really unique, first person I've heard talk about the image of Ren with the headphones on applied metaphorically to all of us and I gotta say I love that thought
Thank you bro. When it came to the words on this one, it caught me off guard and i felt like deeer in the headlights. But the imagery spoke to me vividly
@@FischtankProductions You and most of us brother, I've been left mostly speechless on this song as it hits too close to home and I'm not big on reaction channels (even when I do I'm usually the silent scroller) but yours among a very few select others typically offer some really quality insights and thoughts so thank you for that. Hope you're doing well brother keep up the grind
The fibonacci sequence part has a double meaning to me becuse its the golden ratio, so everyone says its beautiful, but when you graph it, it is a inword spiral. So in this song he could be saying he sees the beauty in the word but also an inword spiral
Yeah Fischtank, this is damn bro; cubed, cured and ingested. Nothing comes close to a revelation of a topic that nearly every one of us have contemplated at some point in our bizarre incorporations.
“I feel blessed to be alive at the same time as this guy” I literally just said the same thing to my husband last night after Ren’s Kujo’s Beat Down! Been obsessively following this beautiful human for 2+ years but just discovered your channel and subbed because we clearly share the same love and respect for our guy and binging on your journey which mirrors mine! I also recently came across the below quote and naturally Ren came to mind I’m certain you’ll agree… Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. (Arthur Schopenhauer) Blessings my friend❣️
Thanks for your comments on the lyrics' meanings. I'd never heard that meaning or Double Dutch, so thanks for that. Here's another one: Double Dutch is the name of a jumprope pattern using two ropes being turned in opposite directions. To do the pattern, you have to be deeply enmeshed in the rhythm, and in harmony/cooperation with the two twirling the ropes. Its a deep harmony that requires others and is difficult to explain... so, the conflict between the dry, mathematical order and beauty, and the messier, more delicate beauty of the harmony between people. That's the thing about Ren (and other good poets) there's usually multiple interpretations.
Your reaction to “the type of song I don’t usually listen to” was so spot on and thoughtful. The most insightful reaction I’ve seen yet. Let’s all give REN and each other many hugs! ❤
As a person who has been through "attmepts" many times in my life. This song literally makes me cry every time. But hes put it out there and it supports all those who have been there. Or even thought about it. Big love Ren ✌️and to all those who truly reeonate ✌️
The line "i miss missing that" ---- it's so utterly true ---- whether depression or similar, it robs you of the want to do thing --- things you used to miss, you stop missing. You become isolated and numb and just want something to happen to you cos you're too scared to do it yourself
"the possibility of things getting worse is gone" HARD disagree. For you maybe, but you, when you kill yourself, inflict untold, irreparable, pain on everyone who cares for you. At the end of this song, listen to the pain in Ren's voice talking about his mate... that was YEARS ago.... do you want your mum feeling that way? your dad? How about your brothers and sisters? Your grandma and grandad? you wanna hurt your friends that much too? Suicide survivor here... and the immeasurable pain you inflict on people when you take your own life, is the cruellest thing you could ever do to them. You're not gonna hurt the people who don't care about you. But you'll reward the people who loved you, with incomprehensible pain.
Posted by Ren Ren: Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
Really appreciate that you gave your take on the line " I see the world through fibonacci sequences and double dutch ". I think you were spot on ; seeing the beauty of the natural world where basically everything is designed on fibonacci sequences and double dutch being all the gibberish talk of people not seeing the beauty causing the Worlds destruction. Almost every other reactor skips this line probably bc they don´t get it and I find it so important. Kudos. In this time and age where so many people, corporations and goverments only worship themselves, power and money the well-being of the natural World and All Peoples depends on Ren and others speaking on behalf of humanity. You making this reaction video contributes too. Thank You.
Thank you for this moving reaction! You are the first I have seen who took note of the changing face in the last part. I like your interpretation. My thought was that this was REN growing up from 19 to current (33) age; changing on the outside but still haunted by that terrible night that he lost his friend. May he find some degree of healing in the sharing of this video!!!
This song is HARD, i've went through this myself, 5 years ago , been doing good after that, but man this song represent what it really feels like to be just down at the bottom of the abyss. Down there, you see no lights, just emptyness, you dont show it, dont talk about because you think are they gonna say ' you dont looklike you gonna do it' or w/e' because you dont show it. Also you think its not the right moment to talk about it, you think they dont wanna hear about it. Then comes the day you dont see any lights on the other side and you think its time to do it, theres a sharp knife near you or a bridge, or something else, youre thinking over and over is there something to go on , but no nothing . I cried at every single reaction ive watched, because i knew the feeling of how his friend felt and see the damage that could have cause.
I've seen many reactions since it came out. All involved tears, the reactor and mine. One even ended filming and didn't finish. This video is a good example of what termination does to those around you. I hope one day Ren forgives himself.
You are a wise and loving and kind man I think. It’s why you get it and express it simply and beautifully. Ren is a gift to us. You interpreting Ren is a gift to us. It is a positive and powerful piece of art because it becomes an anchor to keep us moored to the world with the knowledge that we are not alone in our dark times. That’s all. Wish I could make more time for your channel. I’m over subscribed all over the joint man lol but I always return to catch up Love your work❤
a great reaction video as always! there is nothing really else to add that hasnt already been said on this and other reaction videos, it hits personally for just so many people. ren is doing a twitch stream in just under an hour on his channel www.twitch.tv/renmakestwitch to speak to everyone!!!
Ren had this pinned in his comments on the release re: Joe and the song. Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised. Turn on notifications for the video here: ruclips.net/video/n3JNtfi4Vb0/видео.html Raising money for RNLI : www.justgiving.com/page/ren-gill-1685546882254?Link&/ren-gill-1685546882254& Freckled Angels album: renmakesmerch.com/products/freckled-angels-cd Presave Suic*de: found.ee/ren-suic-de
Sorry if this is annoying being that your Ren vids are older, but I'm just now deep diving into Ren and am absolutely enamored by this incredible human. And of course you're awesome so Ima be going through each of your Ren reactions. I have a lot of linear issues with Ren. Not the same. But his music has been getting me through my own autoimmune/ADHD/medical gaslighting/everything else issues. And that's in addition to this brilliant musician that impacts so many souls. My heart breaks that his body rejected his last treatment and he is heading back to Canada to go through it all again. I'm just grateful he has a support system and keeps trying. The word 'strength' does not encapsulate what this shit entales. It's devastating and continuously breaks a person down. Much love Fisch. I appreciate your reactions as always.
This one has been hard for most of us; fans and reactors both. I have dealt with depression for most of my life and much of what has kept me here is the realization of how it would hurt those I love. The second half of this song is brutal but it is also a good reminder of how it hurts those left behind. Musically, it's another masterpiece! The video is beautiful as well. I think the animation was a great choice for this one. Louis Mardlin is the video editor for Ren's animated type videos and he did a fantastic job. I agree with you about needing multiple listens to mentally process the lyrics, music and visual elements. He's layered, like an onion and he's been making me tear up today. Great reaction!
Ren connected hard with me on this. I lost one of my closest friends 4 years ago now. I still wonder what I could have done differently, and am wracked with grief whenever I think of him to this day. I ask why, but there is no answer. Like Ren, I push it down most of the time and ignore it. Thanks for your reaction.
RIP Joe Hughes ❤❤❤ - For anyone wanting the Lyrics - Here they are *** ********************** Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've fallen through the cracks of the night sky A light goes out on the other side, suicide, suicide, suicide Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm treading on the tracks in the night time It never really felt like the right time suicide, suicide, suicide I'm so fucking lonely beneath this, narcissistic, cant keep a secret, miscount sheep, I can't sleep, a misfit Some say troubled, but some say sadistic, Bruises my brother, one time or the other, my skin felt counterfeit, silicone, rubber Bruises my sister, skin pop the blister dig deep resist the feeling when it hits you Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've fallen through the cracks of the night sky A light goes out on the other side, suicide, suicide, suicide Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm treding on the tracks in the night time It never really felt like the right time suicide, suicide, suicide [sample] Sick boi, sick boi, bitten by a tick boi I feel like its not me its the world thats sick I'm so fucking washed up and sea sick masochistic kid with a split lip six feet deep I can't eat im nervous won't stay down 'cause my body purges useless my mother, cant keep in my supper skin so pale 'cause my cheeks leak colour Truth is my father, you choose your karma draw for the sword then drive through the armour Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've fallen through the cracks of the night sky A light goes out on the other side, suicide, suicide, suicide Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm treding on the tracks in the night time It never really felt like the right time suicide, suicide, suicide Suicide suicide suicide Suicide suicide suicide Suicide suicide suicide Suicide suicide suicide It's hard to take off from the ground when your wings are cut, Your stomach burns when you're drinking from an empty cup, You know the entire ocean came from my tear ducts? I see the world through fibonacci sequences and Double Dutch I guess there’s some that’s born lucky, there’s some that’s not I tried to cut away my bitterness - hatchet job I locked my youth in a trunk inside a pick up truck Then dumped the whole thing over the same bridge the night you jumped I think about that sometimes , vividly What it felt like to look down and see tranquility One sudden movement in a world of possibility Only one movement to expose our fragility I fucking miss you and I miss myself I miss thinking that were indestructible as well I miss chilling by the pier cave and kicking back Wirth Callum, Hugo, Sagar, Justin, Stevie and the fuckin lads I miss missing that, I numbed myself to close the gap, I never even call em up the distance is my plaster cast, The truth is that the day you jumped my childhood jumped too, But I still can’t find the anger all I find is missing you Man I miss you, with all my rhymes I picture running 5 minutes quicker, I'm right on time I picture pulling you back over the edge and then were crying And holding you my brother and telling you that it's fine that’s not the way that I worked Coz I was late like a jerk There's not a day where I could find a way to break from the hurt Your body missing so we never got to wave to the hearse I hope your listening , I love you man, I miss you absurd Fuck
I don’t have many words, Ren is just amazing and you reacting to him is even better. So glad you both exist in the music world!!! His creative work, lyrics, and delivery mixed with your genuine reactions makes my irrational thoughts calm right down. Both humans have helped my mental health and I’m thankful for that!!! ❤
What’s heart wrenching is this is a real experience- not based on, it is his real experience. He tells this story in an interview with Knox Hill. He wakes up to his friend calling telling him Joe was about to jump. Calling Ren since he lived closest. Ren rushed to the bridge, spam calling Joe’s phone just to make sure he was still on call, only to get there 2-5 minutes late. Absolutely heart wrenching.
Posted by Ren Ren: Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
I've been suicidal since I was 9 years old and Ren's suicide song, and other stories of people who have lost others to suicide, helps keep me grounded in remembering that my life would have a ripple effect on the people who are around me. I have seen some people who don't get it get all pearl clutching that talking about suicide encourages it, but for me it prevents it. And I'm sure I'm not alone on that. We should talk about it
I have always maintained that 5u1c1d3 is a supremely selfish act because it robs the rest of the human race of any and all contributions a person could have made to the world. Damn... Ren has given me so much new insight on the "un-aliving yourself" process. I never thought of it like that. I also felt his pain having a few friends who attempted it and 1 that succeeded. RIP to all our lost loved ones who left this world far too early. 😭
He just amazing. I’ve been listening to him since January I love everything this young man does he is beyond amazing Thank God I’m alive today during this time it’s RENs time to be at the top thank you great reaction ❤
I imagine the other person represents the majority of people being blind to what’s really going on in the world, and this money game. And when he changes his mind I feel like that’s him opting out. He’s not going to play it anymore. But I love that you can take whatever you want from Ren- it still hits!!
The double dutch line is such a good one. Am I wrong in thinking that a fibonacci sequence is effectively doubling the two preceding numbers to come up with the next? So it's a perfect sequence, but he sees the world in double dutch because he can't understand it.
You can look the fibonacci sequence as meaning a view of perfection, and that may be what he means since he also refers to other opposites, like some people are born lucky, others aren't. But he might be using fibonacci sequence in another way or at least to imply another interpretation as well. If you look at the classic graphic representation of it, it's a spiral, and a spiral is frequently used as a metaphor for going down, or losing control. Either way, this a powerful song and film from Ren.
Ren is exactly what we all need right now, he's helping us to all reconnect yo our emotions, and therefore to each other and ourselves.... its a movement that we have to pay forward...
This song is so great. I found the music video very interesting in contrast to the song, for the most part, the song is pretty upbeat, yet the video is so cryptic
Thank you for reacting to this i have listened and watch this so many times and i still cry thos is such a meaningful song to me as i feel in a dark place recently and this helps me feel and explain my feelings
I think everyone who hears this wants to give Ren a hug. I only 'found' Ren in March, but it's been a beautiful thing to be a part of the growing community of fans and reactors who have embraced everything that Ren does, and to know that Ren SEES all this love, and encouragement for him. ❤
He was on twitch today and wants everyone to know he’s okay. He wanted to check in with his fans tho to make sure WE were okay, since he knew the song might stir up some stuff. The stream started out with him really making his fans feel supported and it ended in an argument about how many potatoes he could hold at once. He said over 30, but I think he’s full of it 😂😂
@@LeeannG I haven't laughed so much in a long while. Flipping hilarious, with lots of running jokes going right the way through. I wonder if Cillian is going to get bombarded 🤣🤣🤣
@@tundiel I know! It was probably one of the best song release streams I’ve ever seen. Such a good vibe. I like what he said too about grief, about how it doesn’t really hurt less but the intervals that it consume you get farther and farther apart.
@LeeannG yeah, some wise little nuggets from Ren as is usual, but mixed in with some much needed laughter and absurdity. Everything in balance 😉
“I feel blessed to just be alive at the same time as this guy” I had this exact thought yesterday!! Glad I’m not the only one that feels this way. Ren makes my heart ache, like literal chest pain. Great reaction ❤
Same.. just wish everyone took notice
Only Ren can address such sensitive topics in this meaningful and healing way.
He draws you in and then hits you straight into the heart ❤.
The courageous and non conforming powerful Ren. He hasn't planned any of this, it is just purely the result of authenticity pouring out of the man. To take a taboo and difficult word such as suicide and repeat it over and over again in such a catchy melody is part of the magic. Normalising it then surround it with brilliant lyrics and finish it off with his own heart wrenching vulnerable lived trauma. We are witnessing a break through moment through this lad. Powerful powerful Ren. Stay the course mate, stay unaffected by the noise that's coming. Stay away from legacy media and the lure of new media. Stay away from shiny things, you are the shiny thing.
I hope we protect Ren - “ stay unaffected by the noise that’s coming …stay away from shiny things “- your words are so true . If you watch Uncle MOMO - he knows REN’s work and was the first person to do a reaction to Hi Ren - and spoke directly to Ren - that he will be great but he needs to prepare for what that brings - it was a prophesy - Ren has become great .
Song is so powerful and it ripped my heart out too and shredded it. Tears during and every reaction since too. I just want to hug Ren. He can channel such pain into such a force. RIP Joe... I can see how much you are loved.
REN is brilliant he challenges everything with his music. THIS IS A TOUGH ONE.
REN deserves so much more coverage.
NOTHING DISAPPOINTS
I lost my 25 year old son to cancer last year... I still can't find the words to describe how it feels... The fact that I knew he was going to die... The fact that he died 11000 kilometers away from me... The fact that he is GONE... We need to talk about death in all its forms, we need to break the taboo, death happens, we need to talk about it ❤
You are right, the chorus is catchy AF. Ren is doing beautiful and important things with his art by leading the way in voicing things we don’t talk about enough. But not only is he getting us talking about suicide, he is making us sing it too 😅
The more recent addition of the ending part really completed the song. And made it utterly heart wrenching 😢 What a beautiful way of putting it into words and music. We definitely need Ren. He is making thousands of people cry with him and wanting to give him a hug. Man is something very special.
For those interested, Ren has a comment on the video that explains who Joe was and how close he was to him and to saving him.
Ren has a comment on the video - what video - do you have a link ?
@@Silkytoaster RUclips Channel renmakesmusic - community area
Ren wrote: "Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below
During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised."
Nobody was reafy for this. No matter how much we thought we were!
And that's okay. Ren has broken a taboo with this and opened up a space for conversation of grief, guilt, anger, pain and despair 🪽🪽🪽
Ren is the GOAT= Approved ! I can't imagine my life without this man's music anymore ! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
First of all I love this song and the video on so many levels. For me the first part of the video looks at all the reasons someone might be feeling when contemplating suicide. The gray and blurry background, the disjointed and disturbing images of REN. It all works to create a feeling of being alone in a very bleak and harsh vision of the self and the world….it feels disconnected and hopeless. The words he raps are all pain and anguish and yet despite all of this he knows that there may only be darkness and nothingness when you fall through the cracks to the other side….so it’s never the right time for suicide.
In the second part of the video the background is much lighter but the face and words REN speaks are all about the hurt and guilt suicide creates for those who are left behind. Not only dose he miss his friend but he also misses the part of his life and himself that died with his brother.
The take away message for me; no matter how painful and hard life is their is always the possibility for things to get better….life is fragile but as long as there is life their is hope. If your are having suicidal thoughts hold on, reach out for help and support. As a nurse and as someone dealing with depression I know that the mental health sector needs reform. We need to get away from the almost total reliance on pharmaceuticals. More holistic ways of helping people are desperately needed. Suicide, we don’t like to think about it or talk about it. In todays world we are told we cannot even use the word anymore, as if that helps…this is absurd! If we can’t discuss it we cannot help ourselves or anyone else.
REN we are so glad you learned how to dance with your demons. You are so courageous and a much needed voice for our times. We love you for opening up your heart and your mind to us. Big ups to you for sharing your genius, your creativity and musical artistry you’re such a breath of fresh air. We love you for choosing life ✌🏼🫶🏼🙏🏽
Your comment , your analysis man, its so on point. , the thing about stopping relying on artificial meds. man and about the word being considered taboo. touche man. You said Excellent!
#vickihammond you spoke my mind!
R.I.P. Joe. You were definitely loved.
I sobbed at the last part, especially. I hate seeing people in pain.
I’ve noticed that Ren appeals to a broad age bracket. I’m in my 60s but I could swear he’s in my generation. I was also amazed that there are so many senior citizens his fan base
People tend to miss the line "Treading on the tracks in the nightime." Followed by "Never really felt like the right time." Ren is referencing walking on train tracks at night, when the trains can't see you. A contemplative walk where you contemplate if you're going to move if a train comes or if you'll just stand there. Deep deep shit.
Edit: Also, "treading down tracks" has a double meaning of writing music.
This song is for all those left behind. Way too many of us feel this song with every fiber of our beings, which is why it needs to be done. So grateful its Ren.
Left behind here
Miss my brother
TY his birthday is tomorrow
June 11,2023
April 2014 was last time I recognized who I am, because without my only Sibling, my little brother, my bestfriend, only 18months apart into dysfunctional home, I've only ever known myself as an older sister whose instinct was to protect him.... I failed!, I couldn't protect him from himself and in that instant I lost the only thing I loved about myself... my little brother...my whole life's memories aren't the same when you're sitting there reliving them as you stare blankly, tears falling,talking aloud doesn't change the fact yourself by yourself while symbolic ashes sit collecting dust over 9 years on the shelf. It's hard when you no longer can relate to the reflection in the mirror, because in an instant you're forever changed into someone else, I suppose symbolically you leave the dust how else can you be represented with him on that shelf. His skin turned once into Ashes as mine daily to Dust,
Brother and Sister
Ashes and Dust
talking to yourself
@@sierrabaughman810 oh honey.
@@sierrabaughman810 I just want to wrap my arms around you.
That is so heartbreaking. Please always remember that you have a value in yourself, in your own being. Not only because you once was a sister. I hope that you have friends who can be there for you. Seak help if you need it. Listen to Ren and other great musicians. Find beauty in the incomplite, crazy, ugly but wonderful world we all are living in. I wish you all the best ❤️
You’re the first reactor I’ve seen that has correctly captured the Fibonacci sequence and double Dutch line. You’re right that in British slang double Dutch means gibberish
I think it’s a double. Look up double Dutch jump roping
I don't normally watch reaction videos, especially people I don't know, because what can they bring to my life. But your video showed up next to Ren's song somehow, and somehow, driven by the mood, I decided to give it a chance. I do not regret. Watching your reactions, or rather listening to them because something kept falling into my eyes, I was able to sort out what I felt listening to this song this morning. Many of us have been through a lot in our lives, but Ren can perfectly dress it in a musical envelope, thanks to which others can find solace. Thanks a lot for explaining "Double Dutch", I wasn't familiar with this term as English is not my native language. In my country, the equivalent of this idiom is "sounds like Chinese". Thanks again and see you in the next reactions to Ren's work.
“Ren can perfectly dress it in a musical envelope”! That’s exactly right, well said! ❤
I've watched a few reactions, and you're the only one who understood 'Double Dutch' in the way that I've always understood it... Along with the Fibonacci sequence interpretation, I think you hit the nail on the head.
In the past I've heard the term used in this way. Last night it was pointed out to me that Double Dutch is the name of a hairstyle of infinity braids. I think his love of double or triple meanings means it can be all the interpretations.
Double Dutch is a style of jump roping where two people on the ends use two jumps ropes in opposite directions while the person in the middle jumps. It’s really hard lol
Most British people would recognise double Dutch as confusing and incomprehensible. I'm guessing that's how Ren would gave meant it too.
Though your theory of the jump rope game fits the narrative too. That's the beauty of music and art. It's so individual, right?
@@TheRealityleak good point! I also wasn’t aware there was any other explanation for that term until this video tbh. I was also coming from a place of visual cues too, I could actually see both the things in my head. But nothing is really ever just surface level with Ren I don’t think. I’ve learned a lot from his songs
Double Dutch is a British saying!!🇬🇧🇺🇸🙏💙💙😘
You are the first to get the meaning of "I see the world in Fibonnaci series and Double Dutch". Basically, I see the complexity and plan in nature or humanity but I do not understand or am confused by it's meaning. I want to give Ren a hug also. But he will break me when he hugs back.
I love these lines , in addition to the beauty of golden ratio, Fibonacci each step is built from the 2 previous steps. And double Dutch is non-stop obstacles coming at you from both directions
I think its important that its catchy and it really is! Because it is catchy though, you remember it AND its message. The nature of his art always blows me away
After about 5 listens I allowed myself to dance for the first bit. Ren is so good at making beautiful, catchy music with deep subjects. 💜
The thing I love most about this is showing the aftermath of when someone commits suicide. The pain it leaves family and friends is brutal.
I've already listened to this song a bunch of times in the last 24 hour
''i just blessed to be alive at the same time of this guy'' thats how we all feel dude!
Yessir
Yes sir we are blessed
ren is fire
Fuck, this is going to be a long comment. Fishtank and Ren, thank you for this video. It hit right at ground zero for me.
2006 I met the most beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman in the world and how she fell in love with me is still a mystery, but she did. She was a multi millionaire, I was just a poor country boy who worked as a drillhand. She had been Miss Alabama, I was covered in mud. I was hitting way above my weight.
So, I bought a ring and she said yes before I could finish my proposal. That was the good times.....
She was sick. She had a Chiari malformation that caused almost endless pain and she was on a 75mg fentanyl patch. The 30 day prescription never lasted and the only thing that would ease the pain until she could get another dose was alcohol....
I had just started a new job where I could be home every evening to be with her instead of being a thousand miles away.
I needed to be professional and undistracted, so while going through the last day on training, I left my phone in my truck....
Training done. I go to my truck and check my phone. I have 5 messages, and multiple missed calls from Michelle, that was her name. All telling me how much she loves me and begging me to come home. I texted her back and said I love you too and I'll get us a pizza on the way home. I also tried calling, but she didn't answer.....
I finally made it home, but she didn't come outside. She would usually come and jump into my arms every time I pulled in the driveway. I walk into our house and call her name. No response. I go upstairs still listening for her when I hear the raspy breathing. I follow the sound to our bedroom. She's lying on the bed face covered in blood. I immediately thought she had fell and hit her head on the nightstand and climbed into bed ( blacking out and fainting is a common side effect of a Chiari malformation). I called 911 to get medical help. I told them what was happening and about her labored breathing. She was on her back, so the operator told me to roll her on her side to help clear her airways....
That's when the gun fell out of her hand.......
She died in my arms while I waited on the paramedics.
I got to see heaven for a year or so, then I was sent right back to the hell of reality.
Jesus Christ I’m so sorry. That’s gut wrenching and there are no words that could help you but hopefully this music is somewhat therapeutic and that you’re not alone. You made her life great and that’s all you could ever do. Please don’t blame yourself as it’s never in our hands. Be well
I feel the same way. I want to hug him and let him know we are here for him.
This is a rough one.
I thought it was brutal, it was beautiful and most importantly it was important!
Just the fact that he repeats the word Suicide so many times - because it's a subject we have to deal with. That he uses the first 2 verses to tell about how he himself has thought about it; but that it was like there was never "the right time" - Also from there move on to what it did to him that his friend Joe committed suicide. It makes an enormously painful impression.
I love Ren and I found this track his most brutal, but also his most vulnerable.
I love the lyrics and I love the visual expression ❤
"Have faith that you're not alone. Have faith that you're not on your own." Shinedown - Daylight
Your take on the second half is really unique, first person I've heard talk about the image of Ren with the headphones on applied metaphorically to all of us and I gotta say I love that thought
Thank you bro. When it came to the words on this one, it caught me off guard and i felt like deeer in the headlights. But the imagery spoke to me vividly
@@FischtankProductions You and most of us brother, I've been left mostly speechless on this song as it hits too close to home and I'm not big on reaction channels (even when I do I'm usually the silent scroller) but yours among a very few select others typically offer some really quality insights and thoughts so thank you for that. Hope you're doing well brother keep up the grind
The fibonacci sequence part has a double meaning to me becuse its the golden ratio, so everyone says its beautiful, but when you graph it, it is a inword spiral. So in this song he could be saying he sees the beauty in the word but also an inword spiral
I'm surprised you haven't listened to Freckled Angels which was the first song he wrote for Joe Hughes shortly after his death.
Ren is incredible.
Yeah Fischtank, this is damn bro; cubed, cured and ingested. Nothing comes close to a revelation of a topic that nearly every one of us have contemplated at some point in our bizarre incorporations.
“I feel blessed to be alive at the same time as this guy”
I literally just said the same thing to my husband last night after Ren’s Kujo’s Beat Down! Been obsessively following this beautiful human for 2+ years but just discovered your channel and subbed because we clearly share the same love and respect for our guy and binging on your journey which mirrors mine!
I also recently came across the below quote and naturally Ren came to mind I’m certain you’ll agree…
Talent hits a target no one else can hit;
Genius hits a target no one else can see.
(Arthur Schopenhauer)
Blessings my friend❣️
Thanks for your comments on the lyrics' meanings. I'd never heard that meaning or Double Dutch, so thanks for that. Here's another one: Double Dutch is the name of a jumprope pattern using two ropes being turned in opposite directions. To do the pattern, you have to be deeply enmeshed in the rhythm, and in harmony/cooperation with the two twirling the ropes. Its a deep harmony that requires others and is difficult to explain... so, the conflict between the dry, mathematical order and beauty, and the messier, more delicate beauty of the harmony between people. That's the thing about Ren (and other good poets) there's usually multiple interpretations.
Your reaction to “the type of song I don’t usually listen to” was so spot on and thoughtful. The most insightful reaction I’ve seen yet. Let’s all give REN and each other many hugs! ❤
As a person who has been through "attmepts" many times in my life. This song literally makes me cry every time. But hes put it out there and it supports all those who have been there. Or even thought about it. Big love Ren ✌️and to all those who truly reeonate ✌️
This song is about Ren's very close, childhood friend Joe, who committed suicide by jumping off from a bridge. Sadly, they never found his body.
As lyrics states.
Ren is that “Once in a lifetime” artist… you put it perfectly, we’re lucky to be alive during his time…❤️
The line "i miss missing that" ---- it's so utterly true ---- whether depression or similar, it robs you of the want to do thing --- things you used to miss, you stop missing. You become isolated and numb and just want something to happen to you cos you're too scared to do it yourself
"the possibility of things getting worse is gone"
HARD disagree. For you maybe, but you, when you kill yourself, inflict untold, irreparable, pain on everyone who cares for you.
At the end of this song, listen to the pain in Ren's voice talking about his mate... that was YEARS ago.... do you want your mum feeling that way? your dad? How about your brothers and sisters? Your grandma and grandad? you wanna hurt your friends that much too?
Suicide survivor here... and the immeasurable pain you inflict on people when you take your own life, is the cruellest thing you could ever do to them. You're not gonna hurt the people who don't care about you. But you'll reward the people who loved you, with incomprehensible pain.
r.i.p joe, imagine just missing saving your friend by a few minutes and having to live with that :(
Posted by Ren
Ren:
Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below
During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
Really appreciate that you gave your take on the line " I see the world through fibonacci sequences and double dutch ". I think you were spot on ; seeing the beauty of the natural world where basically everything is designed on fibonacci sequences and double dutch being all the gibberish talk of people not seeing the beauty causing the Worlds destruction. Almost every other reactor skips this line probably bc they don´t get it and I find it so important. Kudos. In this time and age where so many people, corporations and goverments only worship themselves, power and money the well-being of the natural World and All Peoples depends on Ren and others speaking on behalf of humanity. You making this reaction video contributes too. Thank You.
Thank you for this moving reaction! You are the first I have seen who took note of the changing face in the last part. I like your interpretation. My thought was that this was REN growing up from 19 to current (33) age; changing on the outside but still haunted by that terrible night that he lost his friend. May he find some degree of healing in the sharing of this video!!!
Bro I work as a Paramedic. Had SO many people who should hear this song!!! It drew out so many horrible memories I have trapped in my head.
This song is HARD, i've went through this myself, 5 years ago , been doing good after that, but man this song represent what it really feels like to be just down at the bottom of the abyss. Down there, you see no lights, just emptyness, you dont show it, dont talk about because you think are they gonna say ' you dont looklike you gonna do it' or w/e' because you dont show it. Also you think its not the right moment to talk about it, you think they dont wanna hear about it. Then comes the day you dont see any lights on the other side and you think its time to do it, theres a sharp knife near you or a bridge, or something else, youre thinking over and over is there something to go on , but no nothing . I cried at every single reaction ive watched, because i knew the feeling of how his friend felt and see the damage that could have cause.
RIP Joe -- ❤
We all just wanna give him a massive hug. I hope he feels that massive virtual hug from us all. He is so precious and needs protecting at all costs 🖤
Great reaction dude. My tear ducts have not stopped since he dropped this
I've seen many reactions since it came out. All involved tears, the reactor and mine. One even ended filming and didn't finish. This video is a good example of what termination does to those around you. I hope one day Ren forgives himself.
It's so powerful, but gut wrenching too. I hope it helps people to reach out.
he released some info talking about his friend. ren got a call at 3am and went to the bridge and arrived about 2 minutes to late.
If this saves one person then what a legacy to Joe. RIP Joe
Great observation on Ren's image! Thx!
My tears flowed like the waterfalls at Yosemite National Park right now. Beautiful and rare. Thank you Ren!
BEGINNING SOUNDS KIND LIKE ONE OF THOSE VOICE REVERB MACHINES
what ren shows me more than ever before is....that we are all connected. thats the key
Couldn’t agree more with your breakdown, and thank you for providing valuable insight to what the Double Dutch line can mean.
You are a wise and loving and kind man I think. It’s why you get it and express it simply and beautifully.
Ren is a gift to us. You interpreting Ren is a gift to us.
It is a positive and powerful piece of art because it becomes an anchor to keep us moored to the world with the knowledge that we are not alone in our dark times. That’s all. Wish I could make more time for your channel. I’m over subscribed all over the joint man lol but I always return to catch up
Love your work❤
I appreciate you very much. Thank you. 🤗
a great reaction video as always! there is nothing really else to add that hasnt already been said on this and other reaction videos, it hits personally for just so many people. ren is doing a twitch stream in just under an hour on his channel www.twitch.tv/renmakestwitch to speak to everyone!!!
Thanks for your reaction man ✊🏽 One Love....
Ren had this pinned in his comments on the release re: Joe and the song.
Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came.
During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
Turn on notifications for the video here: ruclips.net/video/n3JNtfi4Vb0/видео.html
Raising money for RNLI :
www.justgiving.com/page/ren-gill-1685546882254?Link&/ren-gill-1685546882254&
Freckled Angels album: renmakesmerch.com/products/freckled-angels-cd
Presave Suic*de: found.ee/ren-suic-de
Sorry if this is annoying being that your Ren vids are older, but I'm just now deep diving into Ren and am absolutely enamored by this incredible human. And of course you're awesome so Ima be going through each of your Ren reactions.
I have a lot of linear issues with Ren. Not the same. But his music has been getting me through my own autoimmune/ADHD/medical gaslighting/everything else issues. And that's in addition to this brilliant musician that impacts so many souls.
My heart breaks that his body rejected his last treatment and he is heading back to Canada to go through it all again. I'm just grateful he has a support system and keeps trying. The word 'strength' does not encapsulate what this shit entales. It's devastating and continuously breaks a person down.
Much love Fisch. I appreciate your reactions as always.
He sees the world beautiful through pain.
This one has been hard for most of us; fans and reactors both. I have dealt with depression for most of my life and much of what has kept me here is the realization of how it would hurt those I love. The second half of this song is brutal but it is also a good reminder of how it hurts those left behind.
Musically, it's another masterpiece! The video is beautiful as well. I think the animation was a great choice for this one. Louis Mardlin is the video editor for Ren's animated type videos and he did a fantastic job.
I agree with you about needing multiple listens to mentally process the lyrics, music and visual elements. He's layered, like an onion and he's been making me tear up today. Great reaction!
Its beautifully haunting
They sent a poet. His name is Ren
@renmakestwitch
He was on 2.5 hours yesterday. Talked about a lit if this. Checking up on all if us.
Ren connected hard with me on this. I lost one of my closest friends 4 years ago now. I still wonder what I could have done differently, and am wracked with grief whenever I think of him to this day. I ask why, but there is no answer. Like Ren, I push it down most of the time and ignore it. Thanks for your reaction.
RIP Joe Hughes ❤❤❤ - For anyone wanting the Lyrics - Here they are ***
**********************
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suicide
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treading on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide
I'm so fucking lonely beneath this,
narcissistic, cant keep a secret,
miscount sheep, I can't sleep, a misfit
Some say troubled, but some say sadistic,
Bruises my brother, one time or the other,
my skin felt counterfeit, silicone, rubber
Bruises my sister, skin pop the blister
dig deep resist the feeling when it hits you
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suicide
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treding on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide
[sample] Sick boi, sick boi, bitten by a tick boi
I feel like its not me its the world thats sick
I'm so fucking washed up and sea sick
masochistic kid with a split lip
six feet deep I can't eat im nervous
won't stay down 'cause my body purges
useless my mother, cant keep in my supper
skin so pale 'cause my cheeks leak colour
Truth is my father, you choose your karma
draw for the sword then drive through the armour
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suicide
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treding on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
It's hard to take off from the ground when your wings are cut,
Your stomach burns when you're drinking from an empty cup,
You know the entire ocean came from my tear ducts?
I see the world through fibonacci sequences and Double Dutch
I guess there’s some that’s born lucky, there’s some that’s not
I tried to cut away my bitterness - hatchet job
I locked my youth in a trunk inside a pick up truck
Then dumped the whole thing over the same bridge the night you jumped
I think about that sometimes , vividly
What it felt like to look down and see tranquility
One sudden movement in a world of possibility
Only one movement to expose our fragility
I fucking miss you and I miss myself
I miss thinking that were indestructible as well
I miss chilling by the pier cave and kicking back
Wirth Callum, Hugo, Sagar, Justin, Stevie and the fuckin lads
I miss missing that, I numbed myself to close the gap,
I never even call em up the distance is my plaster cast,
The truth is that the day you jumped my childhood jumped too,
But I still can’t find the anger all I find is missing you
Man I miss you,
with all my rhymes
I picture running 5 minutes quicker, I'm right on time
I picture pulling you back over the edge and then were crying
And holding you my brother and telling you that it's fine
that’s not the way that I worked
Coz I was late like a jerk
There's not a day where I could find a way to break from the hurt
Your body missing so we never got to wave to the hearse
I hope your listening , I love you man, I miss you absurd
Fuck
I don’t have many words, Ren is just amazing and you reacting to him is even better. So glad you both exist in the music world!!! His creative work, lyrics, and delivery mixed with your genuine reactions makes my irrational thoughts calm right down. Both humans have helped my mental health and I’m thankful for that!!! ❤
What’s heart wrenching is this is a real experience- not based on, it is his real experience. He tells this story in an interview with Knox Hill. He wakes up to his friend calling telling him Joe was about to jump. Calling Ren since he lived closest. Ren rushed to the bridge, spam calling Joe’s phone just to make sure he was still on call, only to get there 2-5 minutes late. Absolutely heart wrenching.
Posted by Ren
Ren:
Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below
During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
I've been suicidal since I was 9 years old and Ren's suicide song, and other stories of people who have lost others to suicide, helps keep me grounded in remembering that my life would have a ripple effect on the people who are around me. I have seen some people who don't get it get all pearl clutching that talking about suicide encourages it, but for me it prevents it. And I'm sure I'm not alone on that. We should talk about it
Every day is struggle lads. Glad to make it to the end of the day... But hateful when I see the dawn of the next day....
First!
Thankyou for being real Ren, you're a positive force my friend.
I have always maintained that 5u1c1d3 is a supremely selfish act because it robs the rest of the human race of any and all contributions a person could have made to the world. Damn... Ren has given me so much new insight on the "un-aliving yourself" process. I never thought of it like that. I also felt his pain having a few friends who attempted it and 1 that succeeded. RIP to all our lost loved ones who left this world far too early. 😭
He just amazing. I’ve been listening to him since January I love everything this young man does he is beyond amazing Thank God I’m alive today during this time it’s RENs time to be at the top thank you great reaction ❤
About Rens best friend Joe Hughes, who took his life jumping from the Menai Bridge as his friends raced to save him.
I imagine the other person represents the majority of people being blind to what’s really going on in the world, and this money game. And when he changes his mind I feel like that’s him opting out. He’s not going to play it anymore. But I love that you can take whatever you want from Ren- it still hits!!
Double dutch-noun Slang. unintelligible or garbled speech or language. So he sees the world in perfect and inconceivable ways
The double dutch line is such a good one. Am I wrong in thinking that a fibonacci sequence is effectively doubling the two preceding numbers to come up with the next? So it's a perfect sequence, but he sees the world in double dutch because he can't understand it.
I miss all my friends because of suicide. You are not forgaten my friends because time with you were fun, joy and laught. You will be always missed.
Dog deep resist the feeling when it is gits ya might be the single most impactful lyric I’ve ever heard
The catchy first section depicts the surface face of Ren when he had been having suicidal thoughts but wasn't sharing his thoughts
You can look the fibonacci sequence as meaning a view of perfection, and that may be what he means since he also refers to other opposites, like some people are born lucky, others aren't. But he might be using fibonacci sequence in another way or at least to imply another interpretation as well. If you look at the classic graphic representation of it, it's a spiral, and a spiral is frequently used as a metaphor for going down, or losing control. Either way, this a powerful song and film from Ren.
I thought the same thing about the AI cinematography right off the start, almost makes me wonder if they included some AI tweaks on the audio side.
Is that what double Dutch means? I’ve only ever known it as a skipping rope game.
Ren is exactly what we all need right now, he's helping us to all reconnect yo our emotions, and therefore to each other and ourselves.... its a movement that we have to pay forward...
I can't play the video... I'm almost 50... It's restricted access it says.
Ren's pain is raw and palpable and is utterly heartbreaking
Peace friend.
This song is so great. I found the music video very interesting in contrast to the song, for the most part, the song is pretty upbeat, yet the video is so cryptic
Thank you for reacting to this i have listened and watch this so many times and i still cry thos is such a meaningful song to me as i feel in a dark place recently and this helps me feel and explain my feelings
Wow!!! That was too real and a heart breaking ending!! still 😮😢😮❤❤❤
Man, I like your thought- the image is both him and all of us listening to him.
Whats mind blowing is that last oart he just wrote a few weeks ago. The rest of the song was wrote a year ago. How insane is that