not speaking for all INTJ's but on point #3 when it comes to not sharing info or what we're thinking - it's really just the path of least resistance, turning thoughts and ideas into clear and concise words takes effort and unless I really believe someone will understand what I'm saying or take it seriously it's not worth the effort to prepare a comment, it's much easier to just observe what's going on and speak when asked to
I'm ENFP and I've integrated this into my personality as it helps with efficiency in things. Dont forget though, people don't always know that they need to ask for your thoughts or maybe they don't think they should. I believe applying that type of discernment works well to know when to put yourself into a conversation.
Well, I can relate some of these traits with specific cognifive functions of INTJs: 1. Deleted messages - Si demon / Ti critic 2. Face in public - Se inferior 3. Might not say something because it's not perfect in their heads - Ti critic 4. Regret things that are said (overanalyze) - Si demon 5. Not doing something I like because it might not work - Ne nemesis 6. Leaving first - se inferior / fe trickster (depends on the contex, INTJ is the most pragmatic of all types and have performance anxiety) So, in general these traits come from the fear, insecurity and worry attached to the inferior and shadow functions Now, how to deal with them: 1. Inevitable 2. Tell them that you plan to take a photo of them with anticipation and let them choose whether they want or not 3. Inevitable 4. Inevitable 5. Inevitable, but because they have Ni hero they can literally find the way to make it work, you just need to remind them about its superpower, Murphy's law can be applied in a positive way 6. If they already have a plan and have already assigned a specific time to stay, there is not much you can do, but if not, what you have to do is give them as much detail as possible about the people who will be attending, what they do, why they will go (in case there are strangers), the place, what they will do, etc. Avoid surprises. In general, it is about giving them the social context of the event and hoping they're not too overwhelmed. They will only be able to spend a lot of time with the few people who are in their bubble and with whom they feel comfortable. If the place is not what it seems, if the people invited do not like them, if the conversation turns to things that do not interest them, if plans change or there are surprises, the INTJ will find the first opportunity to flee. Remember that they are not affiliative people and do not value social interaction for its own sake, but for the use, benefit or advantage of doing so, if they notice that they are not going to gain anything by staying longer, they will simply leave
Howdy hi hi, Mindimalist! One thing that most INTJ learn very early on is that most people don't want to go into as much detail about topics that are of interest to any given INTJ. As such, when we generate a first draft and then reread it, we often times realize that we've put details into it that make perfect sense to us. But which we perceive might feel awkward, or even insulting to the person with whom we are communicating. If we clarify our meaning too much, we can seem condescending, but at the same time we don't want to be misunderstood. And so it is with a different perspective that we go back and edit ourselves. It's not because we're trying to hide information. But rather, that we know our perspectives can feel harsh or even cruel to those who don't have our same insights and know the meaning we are actually trying to convey. And as such, I'd suggest trying to understand that this is our way of trying to be more considerate of feelings than we practice within our internal space. Uh, yeah, even that sounds harsh. lol@me.
I can't speak for all INTJs but sharing information is difficult depending on the type of info. Because sharing is Inclusive and Power is Exclusive. So to share your Power is to weaken yourself, which is something I can't do. And on your 5th point personally I thinks it's because whatever the if it's too costly of a risk I'm not taking the action. But you definitely had me laughing about the not wanting to take pictures and have them plastered all over the place.
"Because sharing is inclusive and Power is Exclusive. So to share your Power is to weaken yourself." Very interesting, it reminds me of a very good friend of mine at University, at the time I didn't know he was INTJ but looking back now I'm sure he was. He was very strategic and would with hold information, later when I worked at a Biotech company I can see we had INTJ's there protecting their jobs by being limited in their information sharing. As an INFJ I'm a bit of an open book with INTJ's, I see them as secretive they see me as too friendly with unimportant people, because INTJ's are very interested in the people who are important to the project. It's fascinating. I remember my friend at Uni having good music choices though.
@@johnearnshaw5036 and there maybe other INTJs who don't think like this. But after learning about the enneagram aspect with the original personality test. I'd gotten even more interested about it. Because it had been almost 20 years since I had taken my first test. And I've always been interested in understanding myself. As far as what makes me tick, what drives me and ultimately what's most important to me. And over the last few years it helped me to understand that I value and desire Power and Freedom most of all. Your response was very informative and interesting.
For me, it's more like: "ok for you to understand this I'd have to teach you what an eigenvalue is and if you had to make a simple division to save my life, I'd be scared."
@@philippezevenberg1332 Well put. I don't typically with hold information strategically, but I do frequently with hold information if I think would waste my time, OR create more work social interactions for me.
Point 1 and 2 are related: we don't want our information or data online to be used in ways that will harm us in the future. I don't know about "messages" (do they actually delete texts?! that's illogical!), but with comments we might realise we said something that could make us look bad -- or hurt us professionally -- in the future. The last few points are more to do with less mature INTJs who haven't taken the steps into broader life and "embraced the chaos". We would like to share whatever is in our heads, our first thoughts, but we just don't trust most people. *Most*. We are looking for that person with whom we can share anything, and if we like (or even love) you, then you may be that person. You know the INTJ overshare? That is what it looks like. But you have to realise that we have different thoughts to most people. Often darker thoughts. And most of us have been told throughout life that we shouldn't share thoughts like that, or people will think we're deranged, inappropriate, psychopathic, etc. Remember, almost every INTJ you know will have gone through life with people regularly telling them that they are weird. What do you think a person's communication style will be like after that?
It would seem INTJs share a number of traits that ENFP, INFP and INFjs share. Always worried how I am perceived and even worse being able to see many viewpoints at the same time so that brings full awareness to it. I have always been considered weird and many people typically avoid me. I feel that being ENFP allows me to change and alter traits and I've had to do a lot of work to just not give a shit how I'm perceived anymore. The being aware of how things we say and do is very accurate and very reasonable. I've always been like that myself but I'm also aware of how data is collected and used as well with "nothing put on the internet is ever truly deleted". I suppose I just attempt to be confident in myself and what I do and say. If I make a mistake or do something I shouldn't of or if I'm proved wrong, I will just admit it, learn from it and move on. Think of how much time is wasted on just deciding of how to proceed, constantly second guessing yourself and getting caught up with how something you put out looks to others. Checking yourself is very important of course but there is a difference between checking yourself and having consistant self doubt.
As an INTJ, I more often "edit" messages rather than "delete", but in my experience it's not really about insecurities of how other people might feel or how I might look if I say this or not, but it's more of the fact that it's a struggle for me to project the details out from my head when I communicate. I edit messages when I have to make sure the word is the correct one out of accuracy, so I often look for synonyms and antonyms and looking back to dictionaries and double-checking on resources to make sure the point I'm trying to convey is clear enough to get across. The same goes for why I hold back a lot during real-time conversations through spoken words. It's a struggle for me to recall the right words, rather than a struggle to make sure others won't be offended, so that's why there's a lot of pauses and silences and thinking when I speak. It's the constant struggle to detail everything that's causing me to think twice and thrice and more. If I speak things spontaneously, how I converse will often get stuck in the realm of abstracts and concepts that's very detached from a person or an object, and I'm sure many INTJs out there, if not all, are very aware that not everybody can grasp those invisible realities that cannot be seen with any of our physical senses.
Thanks for the videos, I wanted to explain some statements from my experience. As INTJ, I realised that a person has a right to see the message I sent to them, so even if it is tempting to delete something, I concisely keep it there, even if it was dumb. Being on camera is also embarrassing, but what is worse is to show that I am worried about a thing that surely no one in the world would care that being a photo of me. Not saying what is on the mind or regretting what is said is a universal problem, but it mostly comes from experience. Sometimes I can be too open minded around ENTPs or INTPs friends, but then soon face casual critic from them that can hit my ego, and people who I don’t know very well can be just confused. Not starting some project or not trying to attempt something because “it will fail” mostly just an excuse. Leaving the place first is always tempting, but I also feel it might somehow offend others, so I stay a bit longer, but I usually suffer in my mind and also think that it looks like I give pity to others, so it also feels like I offend others.
As an INTJ, this video is hilarious. Everything you said, my ENFP friend have said it to me and is tired of me for that as well haha. I try to work on that. xD Thanks for the video!
Hablo castellano bien hace muchos años. Pero soy anglosajon y un INTJ. SO I started in Spanish just to mess with you a bit. I have just recently discovered that ENTPs are more than just flighty and a bit goofy. Wish I had known this since HS. You are one cool ENTP. And you do get me. I never before thought that ENTPs, of all types, would turn out to be so interesting. Now I am fascinated to learn all I can about these free spirits who add the flavor to the substantial things I do Life could get interesting. Just cruising for now. But my INTJ radar has been tuned to a new frequency. I love the long range vision, the focus beneath their flightiness, that ENTPs have and long to be known for. Life is interesting. Even more so when I encounter new people & situations. For now I am just an old dog with a new trick. But at the very least I will no longer screen out unpredictable women friends. Instead I intend to learn from & about them. I almost deleted much of this, but have learned to learn from my ENTP ‘ . seemingly jesting friends, so I will do it your way and not edit this a lot. Keep lighting up our world, my ENTP friends. - Matt’s dad Dan I love your content AND your style.
INTJ male here, 1. I often delete my messages or entire conversation history periodically. Yes I understand the frustration but I view that as my privacy and safe place where I can delete it if I want to. Before texting existed conversations weren't recorded they were just one time memories. I don't owe you a backlog of my comments from when I was a different person 2. Hiding my face is basically the same reason, privacy. I don't want my face out on the internet 3. As for not saying something until it's ready, I think you underestimate how often I genuinely have nothing to say. Depending on the type of conversation if it's debating or interesting topics I have alot to say but if it becomes heavy or emotional then I will shut down. Also I don't owe a initial raw emotional reaction I am allowed to take my time 4. Everyone regrets things they say 5. This is a great point and what's holding back a lot of us For real though I'm just playing devil's advocate 😂 great video I learned a lot and everything you said is absolutely true lol
-I as well, tend to edit rather than delete; however, we are also very aware of the reality of this world; meaning that some times the things we say can come back to bite us, so if it's that kind of conversation, then I feel it's best to remove it, but it will typically have nothing to do with the person, unless they have become ... well obsolete to me. -I am far more comfortable being behind the camera than in front of it and also don't feel that things are or should be about me, but rather what is or was done. Now over time I have become far more comfortable having my picture taken, but it also depends on who is taking the photo. I enjoy photography, but rarely do I take pictures of people, typically it landscape or wildlife. If I take someones picture, then they mean something to me. There is also, again, the reality of this world and the dangers of it... ie government overreach, but we are also far more comfortable being behind the scenes and in front. I have learn to be conferable be front and center, but it's not my preferred place. -My minds are like a tornado, so much going on, but can and know that most any topic I can logically break it down rather quickly and talk rationally about a subject whether it's new or not, but still need time to analyze it. Overtime I've learn to not be as blunt and it take time find the right wording so not to offend someone. The same goes for my humor, I learned a longtime ago to crack a smile or chuckle after a joke, as people would always think that I was being serious. Of course I would think how stupid they were for not knowing I was joking, but it was rather shocking to see the change in people when I did crack a smile or chuckle (fake or not) as they finally realized I was joking. Many still think my humor is off, dark, or wrong, but what ever. -Give me a reason to stay and I will, but often it's about overload and I need to recharge as group settings are very challenging. I can overcome this by focusing on something or someone as long as I'm stimulated and engaged, if not it's recharge time and need to be alone. It should, almost, never be taken personally.
As an intj I will give some insights. Messages- I have learned that messages need to be smaller. So I have to put big ideas into concise 1 or 2 sentences, a paragraph at most, to convey the idea. This takes mental gymnastics for me to do. No faces- in blunt I post what I do and not myself. I'm not really interested in myself, appearance or otherwise, and never think about it. Not saying- I follow others conversations more than my own. Stay on topic and don't interject. I don't use opinions to form my thoughts and thus don't impact me either way. Regret- this is care on an intjs part. if I'm spending time with you this is a very intimate moment. I could be doing a hundred other things, i need to get back to. I believe you value your time as much as I do and will do everything to respect that, without being asked to do so. Don't do things- when I take on a new activity ,whatever it is, this will be another ball to add that I'm juggling. I never intend to put any balls down. I don't move from activity to activity. It's a collective that in all efforts never ending.
INTJs process a lot in their minds, especially those that will affect our life. We think in an equal direction to the left and right of almost anything in our life. Interesting though we still have a strong unexplained reason why it will work or otherwise. The loop between our Ni and Te is a constant battle and fascinating. Few things surprise Us. In my life, I tend to be negative to my project if a person is only positive about it. The axis i used sometimes depends on the direction of the person I am speaking with. I
I'm an INTJ and I RARELY post my comments. I'll spend precious minutes composing comments and then delete them. I've done that on several of your videos! hahaha.
I do delete messages sometimes, haha. First one on that list. Idk, sometimes I write something, then send it, then think it through more with more social awareness, and I'll regret sending it phrasing it in a way that could be misinterpreted
As an INTJ. 1. I don't delete message or conversations what I have written but I might change the writing or delete all before send. 2. Not showing faces, Yes but if practice and leaning to do that. It did took long time to learn to show my face in pictures and videos. 3. Not saying everything, because feel not know enough about subject. 4. Regret is basic thoughts in INTJ, even writing this thinking to delete whole message. 5. Not doing what I want because might not work? Absolutely make no sense, because failing in doing teach already that this way it didn't work but then must find new way. 6. Leaving places quickly because has better things to do in elsewhere and staying long just make thoughts go to my projects, so isn't same to be where my project is? One thing INTJ doesn't like in ENFP is that she is talking too much and second she is full of energy, also it might be attractive but mostly it is annoying.
Thank you! I wish more people would share their hate with each other. 😉 And I mean it in a "half joke / half profound" kind of way. It put me into a state of self-reflection. I notice that those behaviors seem like natural insecurities/weaknesses of the INTJ stack: Ti critic (insecurity about being incorrect?), Fi child + Fe PoLR (overly protective of privacy and identity?, feeling awkward and being rapidly drained of energy in social situation?), Se inferior (avoiding conflict?, especially in domains where your Te/Ti can't back you up). It is challenging to confront those cognitive fears, but I guess you can probably slowly chip away at them and improve, especially if you have someone pushing/supporting you.
I would definitely say that is quite accurate, I am ENFP and that's pretty much how I percieve most of them. They are also very critical on logic sometimes to such a extreme point that it cements their views on something and not even proof that they might be wrong will sway them. I like to think that they do realize the truth and possibly admit it to themselves. I've also noticed that INTJ are reluctant to show true appreciation and in my experience they dont like to give credit to those that helped them in any way, ideas, advice, financial, direct help etc. I believe this is because they might view it as weakness, if they mention those who helped them then they feel they wont have that image of "I did it myself". For me the INTJ are one of the most annoying types to have conversations with especially with debate topics. They can be so hard headed and i really have to go out of my way to overly explain every single point i make. It's almost as if i have to guide them on a linear point to point walkthrough of everything I'm trying to say. Even for an ENFP this is absolutely exhausting and for me pretty much a waste of time especially because no matter how much time, thought and energy I put into a conversation, none of it feels appreciated and its extremely off putting so most of the time now I just say fuck it. 🤷♂️
It takes a *LOT* of trust for an INTJ to share thoughts "before they're all figured out" -because we're dealing with intuition the connecting-threads are probably chaotic/nonsensical, which the extroverted-thinking doesn't like expressing (because it knows the connections aren't directly-logical) and introverted-feeling 'remembers' the times that the INTJ did and was rejected for it- and this is doubly-true if we're in the "I'm not entirely sure, but I _suspect_"-phase of thinking about it.
Some of this is just us not wanting to insult or upset someone, text messages lack tone at times so we can re-write them over and over. I do it all the time, but i wouldn’t necessarily delete a message afterwards. Yes, it is overthinking but it comes from good intentions. Same thing with not launching in and saying something vs thinking about it later. A better perspective may come later, so we feel it’s more valuable to see the whole picture and the context first. We are the “Architects” we look at the big picture vs individual details, but as you say, that takes time and thought so we won’t be as quick to think of a reply. You look happy in this video 😊
7:14 We're pretty conservative with our energy, verbal communication can be exhausting for us. We also naturally want to provide a concise and well thought out answer.
Not gonna lie, didn’t think that the deleting of messages was accurate, that was until you said that we replay situations in our heads, and yeah, I think that can happen for some people. The rest all accurate, especially #5 so funny, so true. Btw, if you’re an INTJ and feel all butt hurt and defensive, you should grow the f up, use this info to better ur self
I leave anywhere sooner than most- it's a multitude of reasons. It boils down to three things. The activity itself is tiresome and tedious with no payoff. The setting itself isn't indusive of exchanging ideas and I get pushed out of the conversation before anything gets started. I'm here to see specific people and if said people are indisposed , here for other reasons besides me or in general get preoccupied with other people I take the hint and leave. I came here because you asked me to. Not because I wanted to. Bonus is many things can make an intjs angry. Leaving is how I deal with anger.
I've seen A lot of stuffs and videos out there about why ENFP like INTJ or vice Versa. But, I was surprise about this video comes to my Homepage, and the title is about hating INTJ. Then, I am curious, and watch the video because I saw many videos before about others personality opinion about bad things INTJ do, sometimes it's too missundestanding for me. But, when I watch your video, I think this video is not talking about bad things about INTJ, Instead it just makes me laugh haha. Because, it's like watching someone that is really understand me, and not missundestand me. Haha. The fact that all the 6 things is relate to me, and I am actually do it a lot. Like I am not gonna say something that I already know because I don't really sure about the information, that's so true, because when I talk about a lot of thing, it means I already confident about that information. Ah yeah, and deleting massage, it's because I worry about future outcome of that massage. In the modern era, u can screenshot anything include chatting, so I really care about it. And, the 5th is so true. I am a hard achieving dream person, If I work hard, it means I already know that the way I choose is gonna work, BUT, If I see the way that I am gonna choose is not gonna work, I am not gonna waste my time, my energy, and my money to take action on it. Instead, I just find another way that more efficient to get what I want/like. That's it. I just talk based on my experience not cognitive function or etc. hahah. - INTJ
Haha how can I correct you if you’re wrong? YOU correct me if I’m wrong! But In the end I must confess I find your comment hilarious and amusing 😅. Hi5!!!
1: I don't think I even know how to delete a text. Not that I have anyone to text regularly. I do however frequently delete comments I started drafting on RUclips videos because I thought they were not worth my time / overly critical. I've even deleted comment drafts that I thought would give me too many notifications, because I didn't want to deal with all the keyboard warrior drama. So I could totally see an INTJ deleting texts for similar reasons, if they're expected to answer "in a timely manner" and hit send and then changed their mind. 2-a: Yea... same. I only want to be seen on my terms. I would hate, to be recognized on the street and have to interact with a complete stranger on the spot. Even thinking about it makes me tired. 2-b: "Not wanting people to know about them." Uh.. yea. INTJ's are VERY private people. INTJ's are the sea urchins of the personality world. We're hard and spiky on the outside, and only share our warm inner bits over our broken an bleeding bodies (or with our significant others). 3: I, personally, as an INTJ am introverted firstly, which means I'm much less inclined to open my mouth in the first place. Second, I value truth and accuracy above just about everything else. So if I don't know about something... I'm probably not going to talk as if I did. Could I guess? Sure. Am I right most of the time when I do guess? Yes. But unless there is an urgent reason to act upon my intuitive leaps I generally prefer to confirm with research before I speak about things. If asked I can speculate, but I only occasionally find hypotheticals to be productive. Additionally, I have found that a lot of people are either lacking in decorum or attention span and talk over me. And those that don't, struggle to understand basic concepts and I keep my responses short because I don't want to continue the conversation. INTJ's encounter these people multiple times a day, and I think it's fair to say that we have been conditioned to talk as little as possible. 4: I can't regret things I didn't say. See point 3. INTJ's... Say less. Or you'll live to regret it. *smirk* 5: So, yeah we do this. But I think it's pretty dismissive to say we shouldn't. We have our reasons, not all of them are always accurate, but we probably don't have the same priorities as other people. 6: If I'm in a place where I'm being drained.... I absolutely will be the first person to leave. You complain that INTJ's leave first, I bet some of them didn't even want to go in the first place. Who is more cruel the INTJ for leaving first, or the ENFP for inviting them out to someplace socially draining? Invite the INTJ to play video games or D&D...or something they are actually interested in / good at and see how fast they leave. That's like inviting an ENFP to meditate in library and being surprised they're the first one to talk/move/leave.
I have never deleted a message, I only edit if I recognize an error in my writing, but I do think that there are degrees to each personality type, we are different in many ways. I'm not the same person from day to day, sometimes I'm not me, especially when I'm not healthy. And I think because we live in such a time that our unhealthy selves take control of us. A few days ago I came across the enneagram test because I was curious to see if I'd be a five, so I take the test and I was a five all right, but I didn't know that this new age enneagram christian movement are trying to get there hooks into me (I'm quite sure that they we never contact me again). My messages to them wasn't the nicest, but I knew where I stood and If I could take it back I wouldn't. I'm an INTJ and I know difficulties that we face are challenging, many of us come to serve and not be served, so we have to become better versions of ourselves. I know I'm speaking to the choir, but we are the salt of the earth. Take care clan and happy healthy. Thank you Mindy for your work.
Mindi, I appreciate you so much. So much growth watching your videos. So many people tell me to just talk more and don't worry about it but I just want things to be perfect for who it is for. I guess maybe instead of putting in so much work, I can also keep it perfect by reducing the quantity of that of which I'm working on. So for example, if I were to write a good comment explaining myself, instead of writing paragraphs and paragraphs on end trying to get it perfect, just write the most important main points and hope its perfect/good. That way the TE'ing an INTJ doesn't go into excess. If I had to guess why this excess happens, it is an Ni-Fi loop(video idea). -INTJ LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL "minmial possible wording". Wowwwwwwwww. Dude that happens because we're just answering because its super efficient to use the least amount of words possible XD I laughed so hard 😂😂😂😂 I still do this sometimes and I've been learning MBTI for years. If I had to guess why that happens, it is due closed-ended questions(not very complex/complicated/detailed). alsoooooooooooooo sorry for the long comment, idk if I should say sorry but xD yea its a bit lengthy
Don't take it hard, we put all our heart into things that interest us. If we become distant it usually we done the best we could and don't want to complicate what's good. We'll take the L if it means others are happier without our conflicted thoughts and feelings. Hope that helps.
@@deedee7780 True, maybe it depends on where we are in our lives in the present. It doesn't have to be a bad thing, others can pity or distance from us and we will still care in away. But I believe healthy maturity come from accepting past issues as progressing into a better human being.Being a victim in any case hurts us and infect the people close to us.
It's a matter of seeing the odds. Ni allows us to understand the future very well, Fi means we trust our gut feeling, and Te means we value future plans. Why would we invest in something we think is going to fail? Better to just end it as soon as possible and find a successful venture.
@@deedee7780 yes, the avoidant attachment style is very common in INTJ types, they also are very common as type 5 of enneagram. Thus they have fe trickster, se inferior, ne nemesis + avoidant attachment style + detachment from type 5 of enneagram = low susscessul rate in intimate relationships, at least in the long term, specially with "feeler" types
1. Delayed messages - you got your INTJ friend to chat with you instead of just disappearing for a month? Count yourself blessed that they replied at all. 2. Face in public - Can't really say much here. It isn't a vanity thing...it just feels invasive. Sharing my feelings is also alarmingly invasive. 3. Might not say something because it's not perfect in their heads - Ok, you're right about that to some degree, but it's because of a common misunderstanding of Ni (Introverted Intuition) as our savior function. My impressions and concepts are abstract; I have to hunt for the words to explain it. Do you want an INTJ to let you know what they are thinking before it's perfect? Here's what you're going to get - I can hurl flour and chocolate chips into your face and declare, "BEHOLD, MY COOKIES!" 4. Regret things that are said (overanalyze) - Yep, because I'm frequently misunderstood. I've started to wonder if it's really me or if there is some kind of conspiracy that everyone is intentionally misreading me. 5. Not doing something I like because it might not work - Could that be an NiFi loop? Because if I like it, I'm going to do it; I will find a way. Bonus - Leaving first - Did you give your INTJ enough heads up about what this encounter will entail so that your INTJ can reserve enough energy? Bless your little ENFP hearts, you can't stick to a plan to save your lives, so that probably used up two hours of their energy battery already.
Well... I'm an INTJ, and the only things you mentioned that I do: is overanalyse, and sometimes I'll leave a party early. But I'm just as likely to be the last to leave, lol. I'm far too sentimental to ever delete messages-never done it. I will add something that used to annoy an ENFP ex., we would clash when I was in my head (my thinking nature), and she was in hers (her Si) at the same time. But provided at least one of us was in our feeling nature (which was most of the time), we were fine. It's a great match. Not perfect, but great. I actually thought she was INFP, but that's because the version of MBTI her charity taught, was simplified, and didn't allow for introversion or extroversion (made it easier to apply in the field, though lacked resolution). Her ex-husband was INFP, and there's a clear difference between them. He was incredibly sensitive and all about his Fi, the ex was almost as much a thinker as a feeler-the same as me, though she veered more towards Fi most of the time. I think that explained the lack of attraction between them-why they eventually broke up (and she ended up with me): just a lack of sexual polarity. He was TOO nice. So incredibly sweet and sensitive. But so was she. I think objectively I prefer Te, after all if I didn't have that, I don't know how I'd extrovert with the world-and it serves my Ni better than all the functions (except maybe Se-which I'm poor at)., but subjectively I've always preferred Fi. Together, with an emphasis on Te (which is also verifying truth): means I've never been able to suffer fools, and will never apologize for that (there's that hardness that could clash with her). Strong values and a solid moral compass-with no regard for Fe when I'm on the warpath, combined with strong Te. Te just gets me what I Fi desire, really. So I'm still all about the Fi. Even my Ni, is about my Fi. That's something INFPs and ENFPs have with an INTJ and ENTJ, C.S Joseph calls it a benefactor relationship-and it is one of the better types. We share the same judging functions, including in the child position. Fi hero and child for INFP/INTJ (plus aspirational Te, with Sensing and iNtuition also in compatible positions), basically the same with ENFP, only involving Te rather than Fi. This explains how it all works., csjoseph.life/can-marriage-between-estj-men-and-isfp-women-work-long-term/
What about INTP, ENFP? There would be also a lot of polarity involved and they both shared extroverted intuition which means spontaneous and great experiences together.
For me it's like if you are having a conversation or a txt, first you need to figure out the right answer in you head and that takes time. After that you need to translate that right answer from klingon to normal people language and that is difficult also. After that, so much time has passed so sometimes it's really useless to answer anything at all. I can comment on stuff and get people really confused after and i can see their faces with the wtf look. 😂 Makes's perfect sence in my mind but totally alien for others. Live long and prosper 🖖
Not what we wanted to hear, but needed to hear. I'm smiling after this, you don't want us to do our part then leave what we do.Intjs need to own and commit to everything we say and do with little apology.In my opinion I accept being a intj cause secretly enfps are what we want to be. Can you make a video on things enfps or even Infjs love doing but intjs hate, but need to try any way and visaversa. P.s. I try to learn from a infj wenzes and so far you two believe intjs have a shell that needs breaking open. Just got love and respect for people who believe we are that important in general. Thanks. (1 sentence discarded... maybe 2)
I enjoyed reading this and I wish more INTJs had this perspective and willing to say it out loud to others. INTJs are very interesting and I believe hold more potential then they realize, I view INFJs the same way. They certainly have a lot to offer in general however they are possibly the worst at holding themselves back by being way to overly critical on things and constantly placing limitations on themselves. Being critical is good but its important to know what to be critical on and what's not important to put attention and focus on. The limitations thing is driven by that thought process of extreme logic as it seems nearly impossible for them to imagine potential and thinking past logic seems silly and a waste of time to them.
You said which things you hate in INTJs and i will say which things i love in ENFPs. They are sooooo cute, sooooo funny and sooooooo sexy ;-). Te deseo lo mejor.
The best chemistry from all types. I just feel that they read my mind and do all things that i want before i even ask for that things it is really amazing.
@@bozydarziemniak1853 wow thats interesting! ENFP can get scared thinking they might be wrong and start doubting their intuition and begin to ignore it until the INTJ comes to enfp to tell them however the thing is, I don't think the INTJ would tell ENFP if ENFP didn't put foot forward 1st. Is that correct? Please help me clarify
If I would have done so, it wouldn’t be my video anymore. Reason why I use chapters. So I can still do my videos spontaneously and you guys can skip if you want
Another thing people are confused about and share the wrong info is that, INTJs are Shy. We aren't shy and it ain't true that we will go around a Wallmart the whole time and never ask the people around to find an item. Its about getting job done, so we ask that. If any INTJ feels shy to ask a person and instead waste time just for searching it yourself, I'm sorry honey, u ain't an INTJ. In a gist, we are confident introverts, and we choose to stay alone than be with others.
Never delete messages in conversations, often delete comments that failed to gain audience. Never hide my face. Still overthinking and brooding a lot, but who doesn't. I mean one doesn't have to be an INTJ to think (longer), right? Or perhaps I'm not a real INTJ. Who cares, right?
11:37 Hold on, didn't you say earlier that you find that attractive? I'm pretty sure there was something about ENFP requiring time to miss the other person... Oh, and save feeling guilty for when you've actually screwed up. The world clearly needs a reminder that there are multiple ways to deal with someone getting offended. Sometimes it takes an apology, sometimes it takes a finger.
She means that ENFPs don't like to contact you on a daily basis. On the other hand, they would LOVE to spend a good deal of time with you when you finally meet (after a long time, of course, because this is how Ne/Ni doms basically interact).
I'm an INTJ.. I'm getting uncomfortable just watching how much you move while talking, when you are excited, moving your head or hands and all that... Like so much Energy you are radiating, it's unstablizing my mental peace.. Like it's too much to handle for me... 😅😅😅.. Sorry... Just INTJ things... But, loved your video though...
I don't like stay very long not working on my projects. Unless you are giving me ideas on how to do something better I'm not going to just hang out and enjoy coffee. I have stuff to do.
We love refining, sorry. It always takes me too long to text bc I refine refine refine. It’s perfectionism taken too far . I’m trying to let go of this.
not speaking for all INTJ's but on point #3 when it comes to not sharing info or what we're thinking - it's really just the path of least resistance, turning thoughts and ideas into clear and concise words takes effort and unless I really believe someone will understand what I'm saying or take it seriously it's not worth the effort to prepare a comment, it's much easier to just observe what's going on and speak when asked to
I'm ENFP and I've integrated this into my personality as it helps with efficiency in things. Dont forget though, people don't always know that they need to ask for your thoughts or maybe they don't think they should. I believe applying that type of discernment works well to know when to put yourself into a conversation.
Try it with the ENFP! Take a chance and make it easy for the ENFP pleeeeeease
Well, I can relate some of these traits with specific cognifive functions of INTJs:
1. Deleted messages - Si demon / Ti critic
2. Face in public - Se inferior
3. Might not say something because it's not perfect in their heads - Ti critic
4. Regret things that are said (overanalyze) - Si demon
5. Not doing something I like because it might not work - Ne nemesis
6. Leaving first - se inferior / fe trickster (depends on the contex, INTJ is the most pragmatic of all types and have performance anxiety)
So, in general these traits come from the fear, insecurity and worry attached to the inferior and shadow functions
Now, how to deal with them:
1. Inevitable
2. Tell them that you plan to take a photo of them with anticipation and let them choose whether they want or not
3. Inevitable
4. Inevitable
5. Inevitable, but because they have Ni hero they can literally find the way to make it work, you just need to remind them about its superpower, Murphy's law can be applied in a positive way
6. If they already have a plan and have already assigned a specific time to stay, there is not much you can do, but if not, what you have to do is give them as much detail as possible about the people who will be attending, what they do, why they will go (in case there are strangers), the place, what they will do, etc. Avoid surprises. In general, it is about giving them the social context of the event and hoping they're not too overwhelmed. They will only be able to spend a lot of time with the few people who are in their bubble and with whom they feel comfortable. If the place is not what it seems, if the people invited do not like them, if the conversation turns to things that do not interest them, if plans change or there are surprises, the INTJ will find the first opportunity to flee. Remember that they are not affiliative people and do not value social interaction for its own sake, but for the use, benefit or advantage of doing so, if they notice that they are not going to gain anything by staying longer, they will simply leave
If you can find things you hate, at least that means you care
I really hate that about you Nicholas. But that's because I care Timothy. I mean Nicholas.
@@rocketassistedgoat1079
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Howdy hi hi, Mindimalist!
One thing that most INTJ learn very early on is that most people don't want to go into as much detail about topics that are of interest to any given INTJ. As such, when we generate a first draft and then reread it, we often times realize that we've put details into it that make perfect sense to us. But which we perceive might feel awkward, or even insulting to the person with whom we are communicating. If we clarify our meaning too much, we can seem condescending, but at the same time we don't want to be misunderstood. And so it is with a different perspective that we go back and edit ourselves. It's not because we're trying to hide information. But rather, that we know our perspectives can feel harsh or even cruel to those who don't have our same insights and know the meaning we are actually trying to convey. And as such, I'd suggest trying to understand that this is our way of trying to be more considerate of feelings than we practice within our internal space. Uh, yeah, even that sounds harsh. lol@me.
I can't speak for all INTJs but sharing information is difficult depending on the type of info. Because sharing is Inclusive and Power is Exclusive. So to share your Power is to weaken yourself, which is something I can't do. And on your 5th point personally I thinks it's because whatever the if it's too costly of a risk I'm not taking the action. But you definitely had me laughing about the not wanting to take pictures and have them plastered all over the place.
"Because sharing is inclusive and Power is Exclusive. So to share your Power is to weaken yourself." Very interesting, it reminds me of a very good friend of mine at University, at the time I didn't know he was INTJ but looking back now I'm sure he was. He was very strategic and would with hold information, later when I worked at a Biotech company I can see we had INTJ's there protecting their jobs by being limited in their information sharing. As an INFJ I'm a bit of an open book with INTJ's, I see them as secretive they see me as too friendly with unimportant people, because INTJ's are very interested in the people who are important to the project. It's fascinating. I remember my friend at Uni having good music choices though.
@@johnearnshaw5036 and there maybe other INTJs who don't think like this. But after learning about the enneagram aspect with the original personality test. I'd gotten even more interested about it. Because it had been almost 20 years since I had taken my first test. And I've always been interested in understanding myself. As far as what makes me tick, what drives me and ultimately what's most important to me. And over the last few years it helped me to understand that I value and desire Power and Freedom most of all. Your response was very informative and interesting.
For me, it's more like: "ok for you to understand this I'd have to teach you what an eigenvalue is and if you had to make a simple division to save my life, I'd be scared."
@@philippezevenberg1332 Well put. I don't typically with hold information strategically, but I do frequently with hold information if I think would waste my time, OR create more work social interactions for me.
Point 1 and 2 are related: we don't want our information or data online to be used in ways that will harm us in the future. I don't know about "messages" (do they actually delete texts?! that's illogical!), but with comments we might realise we said something that could make us look bad -- or hurt us professionally -- in the future.
The last few points are more to do with less mature INTJs who haven't taken the steps into broader life and "embraced the chaos". We would like to share whatever is in our heads, our first thoughts, but we just don't trust most people. *Most*. We are looking for that person with whom we can share anything, and if we like (or even love) you, then you may be that person. You know the INTJ overshare? That is what it looks like.
But you have to realise that we have different thoughts to most people. Often darker thoughts. And most of us have been told throughout life that we shouldn't share thoughts like that, or people will think we're deranged, inappropriate, psychopathic, etc. Remember, almost every INTJ you know will have gone through life with people regularly telling them that they are weird. What do you think a person's communication style will be like after that?
It would seem INTJs share a number of traits that ENFP, INFP and INFjs share. Always worried how I am perceived and even worse being able to see many viewpoints at the same time so that brings full awareness to it. I have always been considered weird and many people typically avoid me.
I feel that being ENFP allows me to change and alter traits and I've had to do a lot of work to just not give a shit how I'm perceived anymore.
The being aware of how things we say and do is very accurate and very reasonable. I've always been like that myself but I'm also aware of how data is collected and used as well with "nothing put on the internet is ever truly deleted". I suppose I just attempt to be confident in myself and what I do and say. If I make a mistake or do something I shouldn't of or if I'm proved wrong, I will just admit it, learn from it and move on.
Think of how much time is wasted on just deciding of how to proceed, constantly second guessing yourself and getting caught up with how something you put out looks to others. Checking yourself is very important of course but there is a difference between checking yourself and having consistant self doubt.
As an INTJ, I more often "edit" messages rather than "delete", but in my experience it's not really about insecurities of how other people might feel or how I might look if I say this or not, but it's more of the fact that it's a struggle for me to project the details out from my head when I communicate. I edit messages when I have to make sure the word is the correct one out of accuracy, so I often look for synonyms and antonyms and looking back to dictionaries and double-checking on resources to make sure the point I'm trying to convey is clear enough to get across.
The same goes for why I hold back a lot during real-time conversations through spoken words. It's a struggle for me to recall the right words, rather than a struggle to make sure others won't be offended, so that's why there's a lot of pauses and silences and thinking when I speak. It's the constant struggle to detail everything that's causing me to think twice and thrice and more. If I speak things spontaneously, how I converse will often get stuck in the realm of abstracts and concepts that's very detached from a person or an object, and I'm sure many INTJs out there, if not all, are very aware that not everybody can grasp those invisible realities that cannot be seen with any of our physical senses.
Lol I never thought my deleting messages thing was an INTJ thing !
Thanks for the videos, I wanted to explain some statements from my experience. As INTJ, I realised that a person has a right to see the message I sent to them, so even if it is tempting to delete something, I concisely keep it there, even if it was dumb.
Being on camera is also embarrassing, but what is worse is to show that I am worried about a thing that surely no one in the world would care that being a photo of me.
Not saying what is on the mind or regretting what is said is a universal problem, but it mostly comes from experience. Sometimes I can be too open minded around ENTPs or INTPs friends, but then soon face casual critic from them that can hit my ego, and people who I don’t know very well can be just confused.
Not starting some project or not trying to attempt something because “it will fail” mostly just an excuse.
Leaving the place first is always tempting, but I also feel it might somehow offend others, so I stay a bit longer, but I usually suffer in my mind and also think that it looks like I give pity to others, so it also feels like I offend others.
As an INTJ, this video is hilarious. Everything you said, my ENFP friend have said it to me and is tired of me for that as well haha. I try to work on that. xD Thanks for the video!
Hablo castellano bien hace muchos años. Pero soy anglosajon y un INTJ.
SO I started in Spanish just to mess with you a bit.
I have just recently discovered that ENTPs are more than just flighty and a bit goofy.
Wish I had known this since HS.
You are one cool ENTP. And you do get me.
I never before thought that ENTPs, of all types, would turn out to be so interesting.
Now I am fascinated to learn all I can about these free spirits who add the flavor to the substantial things I do
Life could get interesting. Just cruising for now.
But my INTJ radar has been tuned to a new frequency.
I love the long range vision, the focus beneath their flightiness, that ENTPs have and long to be known for.
Life is interesting. Even more so when I encounter new people & situations.
For now I am just an old dog with a new trick. But at the very least I will no longer screen out unpredictable women friends. Instead I intend to learn from & about them.
I almost deleted much of this, but have learned to learn from my ENTP ‘ . seemingly jesting friends, so I will do it your way and not edit this a lot.
Keep lighting up our world, my ENTP friends.
- Matt’s dad Dan
I love your content AND your style.
INTJ male here,
1. I often delete my messages or entire conversation history periodically. Yes I understand the frustration but I view that as my privacy and safe place where I can delete it if I want to. Before texting existed conversations weren't recorded they were just one time memories. I don't owe you a backlog of my comments from when I was a different person
2. Hiding my face is basically the same reason, privacy. I don't want my face out on the internet
3. As for not saying something until it's ready, I think you underestimate how often I genuinely have nothing to say. Depending on the type of conversation if it's debating or interesting topics I have alot to say but if it becomes heavy or emotional then I will shut down. Also I don't owe a initial raw emotional reaction I am allowed to take my time
4. Everyone regrets things they say
5. This is a great point and what's holding back a lot of us
For real though I'm just playing devil's advocate 😂 great video I learned a lot and everything you said is absolutely true lol
-I as well, tend to edit rather than delete; however, we are also very aware of the reality of this world; meaning that some times the things we say can come back to bite us, so if it's that kind of conversation, then I feel it's best to remove it, but it will typically have nothing to do with the person, unless they have become ... well obsolete to me.
-I am far more comfortable being behind the camera than in front of it and also don't feel that things are or should be about me, but rather what is or was done. Now over time I have become far more comfortable having my picture taken, but it also depends on who is taking the photo. I enjoy photography, but rarely do I take pictures of people, typically it landscape or wildlife. If I take someones picture, then they mean something to me. There is also, again, the reality of this world and the dangers of it... ie government overreach, but we are also far more comfortable being behind the scenes and in front. I have learn to be conferable be front and center, but it's not my preferred place.
-My minds are like a tornado, so much going on, but can and know that most any topic I can logically break it down rather quickly and talk rationally about a subject whether it's new or not, but still need time to analyze it. Overtime I've learn to not be as blunt and it take time find the right wording so not to offend someone. The same goes for my humor, I learned a longtime ago to crack a smile or chuckle after a joke, as people would always think that I was being serious. Of course I would think how stupid they were for not knowing I was joking, but it was rather shocking to see the change in people when I did crack a smile or chuckle (fake or not) as they finally realized I was joking. Many still think my humor is off, dark, or wrong, but what ever.
-Give me a reason to stay and I will, but often it's about overload and I need to recharge as group settings are very challenging. I can overcome this by focusing on something or someone as long as I'm stimulated and engaged, if not it's recharge time and need to be alone. It should, almost, never be taken personally.
As an intj I will give some insights.
Messages- I have learned that messages need to be smaller. So I have to put big ideas into concise 1 or 2 sentences, a paragraph at most, to convey the idea. This takes mental gymnastics for me to do.
No faces- in blunt I post what I do and not myself. I'm not really interested in myself, appearance or otherwise, and never think about it.
Not saying- I follow others conversations more than my own. Stay on topic and don't interject. I don't use opinions to form my thoughts and thus don't impact me either way.
Regret- this is care on an intjs part. if I'm spending time with you this is a very intimate moment. I could be doing a hundred other things, i need to get back to. I believe you value your time as much as I do and will do everything to respect that, without being asked to do so.
Don't do things- when I take on a new activity ,whatever it is, this will be another ball to add that I'm juggling. I never intend to put any balls down. I don't move from activity to activity. It's a collective that in all efforts never ending.
INTJs process a lot in their minds, especially those that will affect our life. We think in an equal direction to the left and right of almost anything in our life. Interesting though we still have a strong unexplained reason why it will work or otherwise. The loop between our Ni and Te is a constant battle and fascinating. Few things surprise Us. In my life, I tend to be negative to my project if a person is only positive about it. The axis i used sometimes depends on the direction of the person I am speaking with. I
I'm an INTJ and I RARELY post my comments. I'll spend precious minutes composing comments and then delete them. I've done that on several of your videos! hahaha.
Hahaha I love your honesty!!
I do delete messages sometimes, haha. First one on that list. Idk, sometimes I write something, then send it, then think it through more with more social awareness, and I'll regret sending it phrasing it in a way that could be misinterpreted
Fifth point is beautiful
(Focusing your energy and belief hoping why it would work than the other way around)
As an INTJ. 1. I don't delete message or conversations what I have written but I might change the writing or delete all before send. 2. Not showing faces, Yes but if practice and leaning to do that. It did took long time to learn to show my face in pictures and videos. 3. Not saying everything, because feel not know enough about subject. 4. Regret is basic thoughts in INTJ, even writing this thinking to delete whole message. 5. Not doing what I want because might not work? Absolutely make no sense, because failing in doing teach already that this way it didn't work but then must find new way. 6. Leaving places quickly because has better things to do in elsewhere and staying long just make thoughts go to my projects, so isn't same to be where my project is? One thing INTJ doesn't like in ENFP is that she is talking too much and second she is full of energy, also it might be attractive but mostly it is annoying.
Thank you! I wish more people would share their hate with each other. 😉 And I mean it in a "half joke / half profound" kind of way. It put me into a state of self-reflection.
I notice that those behaviors seem like natural insecurities/weaknesses of the INTJ stack: Ti critic (insecurity about being incorrect?), Fi child + Fe PoLR (overly protective of privacy and identity?, feeling awkward and being rapidly drained of energy in social situation?), Se inferior (avoiding conflict?, especially in domains where your Te/Ti can't back you up). It is challenging to confront those cognitive fears, but I guess you can probably slowly chip away at them and improve, especially if you have someone pushing/supporting you.
I would definitely say that is quite accurate, I am ENFP and that's pretty much how I percieve most of them.
They are also very critical on logic sometimes to such a extreme point that it cements their views on something and not even proof that they might be wrong will sway them. I like to think that they do realize the truth and possibly admit it to themselves.
I've also noticed that INTJ are reluctant to show true appreciation and in my experience they dont like to give credit to those that helped them in any way, ideas, advice, financial, direct help etc.
I believe this is because they might view it as weakness, if they mention those who helped them then they feel they wont have that image of "I did it myself".
For me the INTJ are one of the most annoying types to have conversations with especially with debate topics. They can be so hard headed and i really have to go out of my way to overly explain every single point i make. It's almost as if i have to guide them on a linear point to point walkthrough of everything I'm trying to say. Even for an ENFP this is absolutely exhausting and for me pretty much a waste of time especially because no matter how much time, thought and energy I put into a conversation, none of it feels appreciated and its extremely off putting so most of the time now I just say fuck it. 🤷♂️
Ahh yes my favourite topic to talk about
It takes a *LOT* of trust for an INTJ to share thoughts "before they're all figured out" -because we're dealing with intuition the connecting-threads are probably chaotic/nonsensical, which the extroverted-thinking doesn't like expressing (because it knows the connections aren't directly-logical) and introverted-feeling 'remembers' the times that the INTJ did and was rejected for it- and this is doubly-true if we're in the "I'm not entirely sure, but I _suspect_"-phase of thinking about it.
I'm an INTJ and this is so accurate lol
INFJ and I do it all too. Sorry it's just how our (Ni Dom- Se inferior) brain function.
Some of this is just us not wanting to insult or upset someone, text messages lack tone at times so we can re-write them over and over. I do it all the time, but i wouldn’t necessarily delete a message afterwards. Yes, it is overthinking but it comes from good intentions.
Same thing with not launching in and saying something vs thinking about it later. A better perspective may come later, so we feel it’s more valuable to see the whole picture and the context first. We are the “Architects” we look at the big picture vs individual details, but as you say, that takes time and thought so we won’t be as quick to think of a reply.
You look happy in this video 😊
I was texting someone last night and they said "I don't like your tone". In my head I'm like "bruh we're texting, what tone?"
7:14 We're pretty conservative with our energy, verbal communication can be exhausting for us. We also naturally want to provide a concise and well thought out answer.
Not gonna lie, didn’t think that the deleting of messages was accurate, that was until you said that we replay situations in our heads, and yeah, I think that can happen for some people. The rest all accurate, especially #5 so funny, so true. Btw, if you’re an INTJ and feel all butt hurt and defensive, you should grow the f up, use this info to better ur self
I leave anywhere sooner than most- it's a multitude of reasons. It boils down to three things.
The activity itself is tiresome and tedious with no payoff.
The setting itself isn't indusive of exchanging ideas and I get pushed out of the conversation before anything gets started.
I'm here to see specific people and if said people are indisposed , here for other reasons besides me or in general get preoccupied with other people I take the hint and leave. I came here because you asked me to. Not because I wanted to.
Bonus is many things can make an intjs angry. Leaving is how I deal with anger.
I've seen A lot of stuffs and videos out there about why ENFP like INTJ or vice Versa. But, I was surprise about this video comes to my Homepage, and the title is about hating INTJ. Then, I am curious, and watch the video because I saw many videos before about others personality opinion about bad things INTJ do, sometimes it's too missundestanding for me. But, when I watch your video, I think this video is not talking about bad things about INTJ, Instead it just makes me laugh haha. Because, it's like watching someone that is really understand me, and not missundestand me. Haha. The fact that all the 6 things is relate to me, and I am actually do it a lot. Like I am not gonna say something that I already know because I don't really sure about the information, that's so true, because when I talk about a lot of thing, it means I already confident about that information. Ah yeah, and deleting massage, it's because I worry about future outcome of that massage. In the modern era, u can screenshot anything include chatting, so I really care about it. And, the 5th is so true. I am a hard achieving dream person, If I work hard, it means I already know that the way I choose is gonna work, BUT, If I see the way that I am gonna choose is not gonna work, I am not gonna waste my time, my energy, and my money to take action on it. Instead, I just find another way that more efficient to get what I want/like. That's it. I just talk based on my experience not cognitive function or etc. hahah. - INTJ
Haha how can I correct you if you’re wrong? YOU correct me if I’m wrong! But In the end I must confess I find your comment hilarious and amusing 😅. Hi5!!!
1: I don't think I even know how to delete a text. Not that I have anyone to text regularly. I do however frequently delete comments I started drafting on RUclips videos because I thought they were not worth my time / overly critical. I've even deleted comment drafts that I thought would give me too many notifications, because I didn't want to deal with all the keyboard warrior drama. So I could totally see an INTJ deleting texts for similar reasons, if they're expected to answer "in a timely manner" and hit send and then changed their mind.
2-a: Yea... same. I only want to be seen on my terms. I would hate, to be recognized on the street and have to interact with a complete stranger on the spot. Even thinking about it makes me tired.
2-b: "Not wanting people to know about them." Uh.. yea. INTJ's are VERY private people. INTJ's are the sea urchins of the personality world. We're hard and spiky on the outside, and only share our warm inner bits over our broken an bleeding bodies (or with our significant others).
3: I, personally, as an INTJ am introverted firstly, which means I'm much less inclined to open my mouth in the first place. Second, I value truth and accuracy above just about everything else. So if I don't know about something... I'm probably not going to talk as if I did. Could I guess? Sure. Am I right most of the time when I do guess? Yes. But unless there is an urgent reason to act upon my intuitive leaps I generally prefer to confirm with research before I speak about things. If asked I can speculate, but I only occasionally find hypotheticals to be productive. Additionally, I have found that a lot of people are either lacking in decorum or attention span and talk over me. And those that don't, struggle to understand basic concepts and I keep my responses short because I don't want to continue the conversation. INTJ's encounter these people multiple times a day, and I think it's fair to say that we have been conditioned to talk as little as possible.
4: I can't regret things I didn't say. See point 3. INTJ's... Say less. Or you'll live to regret it. *smirk*
5: So, yeah we do this. But I think it's pretty dismissive to say we shouldn't. We have our reasons, not all of them are always accurate, but we probably don't have the same priorities as other people.
6: If I'm in a place where I'm being drained.... I absolutely will be the first person to leave. You complain that INTJ's leave first, I bet some of them didn't even want to go in the first place. Who is more cruel the INTJ for leaving first, or the ENFP for inviting them out to someplace socially draining? Invite the INTJ to play video games or D&D...or something they are actually interested in / good at and see how fast they leave. That's like inviting an ENFP to meditate in library and being surprised they're the first one to talk/move/leave.
omg fifth point is so accurate..l`m tired of arguing about this with my intj best friend.
I have never deleted a message, I only edit if I recognize an error in my writing, but I do think that there are degrees to each personality type, we are different in many ways.
I'm not the same person from day to day, sometimes I'm not me, especially when I'm not healthy. And I think because we live in such a time that our unhealthy selves take control of us.
A few days ago I came across the enneagram test because I was curious to see if I'd be a five, so I take the test and I was a five all right, but I didn't know that this new age enneagram christian movement are trying to get there hooks into me (I'm quite sure that they we never contact me again). My messages to them wasn't the nicest, but I knew where I stood and If I could take it back I wouldn't.
I'm an INTJ and I know difficulties that we face are challenging, many of us come to serve and not be served, so we have to become better versions of ourselves. I know I'm speaking to the choir, but we are the salt of the earth.
Take care clan and happy healthy.
Thank you Mindy for your work.
Mindi, I appreciate you so much. So much growth watching your videos. So many people tell me to just talk more and don't worry about it but I just want things to be perfect for who it is for. I guess maybe instead of putting in so much work, I can also keep it perfect by reducing the quantity of that of which I'm working on. So for example, if I were to write a good comment explaining myself, instead of writing paragraphs and paragraphs on end trying to get it perfect, just write the most important main points and hope its perfect/good. That way the TE'ing an INTJ doesn't go into excess. If I had to guess why this excess happens, it is an Ni-Fi loop(video idea).
-INTJ
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL "minmial possible wording". Wowwwwwwwww. Dude that happens because we're just answering because its super efficient to use the least amount of words possible XD I laughed so hard 😂😂😂😂 I still do this sometimes and I've been learning MBTI for years. If I had to guess why that happens, it is due closed-ended questions(not very complex/complicated/detailed).
alsoooooooooooooo sorry for the long comment, idk if I should say sorry but xD yea its a bit lengthy
Why do INTJs breakup with people they really like for fear that it won't work? Argh!! So frustrating!
Don't take it hard, we put all our heart into things that interest us. If we become distant it usually we done the best we could and don't want to complicate what's good. We'll take the L if it means others are happier without our conflicted thoughts and feelings. Hope that helps.
@@timhill356 I think it's more of an avoidant attachment style that may be more common in INTJ types.
@@deedee7780 True, maybe it depends on where we are in our lives in the present. It doesn't have to be a bad thing, others can pity or distance from us and we will still care in away. But I believe healthy maturity come from accepting past issues as progressing into a better human being.Being a victim in any case hurts us and infect the people close to us.
It's a matter of seeing the odds. Ni allows us to understand the future very well, Fi means we trust our gut feeling, and Te means we value future plans. Why would we invest in something we think is going to fail? Better to just end it as soon as possible and find a successful venture.
@@deedee7780 yes, the avoidant attachment style is very common in INTJ types, they also are very common as type 5 of enneagram. Thus they have fe trickster, se inferior, ne nemesis + avoidant attachment style + detachment from type 5 of enneagram = low susscessul rate in intimate relationships, at least in the long term, specially with "feeler" types
They are ruthlessly efficient, they can't help it, which is okay if they are doing good things.
As an INTJ I don’t delete after I send. If I regret the wording, I will resend a clarification
1. Delayed messages - you got your INTJ friend to chat with you instead of just disappearing for a month? Count yourself blessed that they replied at all.
2. Face in public - Can't really say much here. It isn't a vanity thing...it just feels invasive. Sharing my feelings is also alarmingly invasive.
3. Might not say something because it's not perfect in their heads - Ok, you're right about that to some degree, but it's because of a common misunderstanding of Ni (Introverted Intuition) as our savior function. My impressions and concepts are abstract; I have to hunt for the words to explain it.
Do you want an INTJ to let you know what they are thinking before it's perfect? Here's what you're going to get - I can hurl flour and chocolate chips into your face and declare, "BEHOLD, MY COOKIES!"
4. Regret things that are said (overanalyze) - Yep, because I'm frequently misunderstood. I've started to wonder if it's really me or if there is some kind of conspiracy that everyone is intentionally misreading me.
5. Not doing something I like because it might not work - Could that be an NiFi loop? Because if I like it, I'm going to do it; I will find a way.
Bonus - Leaving first - Did you give your INTJ enough heads up about what this encounter will entail so that your INTJ can reserve enough energy? Bless your little ENFP hearts, you can't stick to a plan to save your lives, so that probably used up two hours of their energy battery already.
“BEHOLD, MY COOKIES!”
LOL
I feel attacked 😂😂😂😂😂
I am an I NTJ waiting for the actual conversation to start about the topic trying to be patient but getting a little frustrated lol.
Well... I'm an INTJ, and the only things you mentioned that I do: is overanalyse, and sometimes I'll leave a party early. But I'm just as likely to be the last to leave, lol. I'm far too sentimental to ever delete messages-never done it.
I will add something that used to annoy an ENFP ex., we would clash when I was in my head (my thinking nature), and she was in hers (her Si) at the same time. But provided at least one of us was in our feeling nature (which was most of the time), we were fine. It's a great match. Not perfect, but great. I actually thought she was INFP, but that's because the version of MBTI her charity taught, was simplified, and didn't allow for introversion or extroversion (made it easier to apply in the field, though lacked resolution).
Her ex-husband was INFP, and there's a clear difference between them. He was incredibly sensitive and all about his Fi, the ex was almost as much a thinker as a feeler-the same as me, though she veered more towards Fi most of the time. I think that explained the lack of attraction between them-why they eventually broke up (and she ended up with me): just a lack of sexual polarity. He was TOO nice. So incredibly sweet and sensitive. But so was she.
I think objectively I prefer Te, after all if I didn't have that, I don't know how I'd extrovert with the world-and it serves my Ni better than all the functions (except maybe Se-which I'm poor at)., but subjectively I've always preferred Fi. Together, with an emphasis on Te (which is also verifying truth): means I've never been able to suffer fools, and will never apologize for that (there's that hardness that could clash with her). Strong values and a solid moral compass-with no regard for Fe when I'm on the warpath, combined with strong Te.
Te just gets me what I Fi desire, really. So I'm still all about the Fi. Even my Ni, is about my Fi. That's something INFPs and ENFPs have with an INTJ and ENTJ, C.S Joseph calls it a benefactor relationship-and it is one of the better types. We share the same judging functions, including in the child position. Fi hero and child for INFP/INTJ (plus aspirational Te, with Sensing and iNtuition also in compatible positions), basically the same with ENFP, only involving Te rather than Fi. This explains how it all works., csjoseph.life/can-marriage-between-estj-men-and-isfp-women-work-long-term/
What about INTP, ENFP? There would be also a lot of polarity involved and they both shared extroverted intuition which means spontaneous and great experiences together.
Well shit guilty as charged on all 5 “hates”.😂 But you don’t have to hate me. This is who I am.
For me it's like if you are having a conversation or a txt, first you need to figure out the right answer in you head and that takes time. After that you need to translate that right answer from klingon to normal people language and that is difficult also. After that, so much time has passed so sometimes it's really useless to answer anything at all. I can comment on stuff and get people really confused after and i can see their faces with the wtf look. 😂 Makes's perfect sence in my mind but totally alien for others. Live long and prosper 🖖
Not what we wanted to hear, but needed to hear. I'm smiling after this, you don't want us to do our part then leave what we do.Intjs need to own and commit to everything we say and do with little apology.In my opinion I accept being a intj cause secretly enfps are what we want to be. Can you make a video on things enfps or even Infjs love doing but intjs hate, but need to try any way and visaversa.
P.s. I try to learn from a infj wenzes and so far you two believe intjs have a shell that needs breaking open. Just got love and respect for people who believe we are that important in general. Thanks.
(1 sentence discarded... maybe 2)
I enjoyed reading this and I wish more INTJs had this perspective and willing to say it out loud to others.
INTJs are very interesting and I believe hold more potential then they realize, I view INFJs the same way. They certainly have a lot to offer in general however they are possibly the worst at holding themselves back by being way to overly critical on things and constantly placing limitations on themselves.
Being critical is good but its important to know what to be critical on and what's not important to put attention and focus on. The limitations thing is driven by that thought process of extreme logic as it seems nearly impossible for them to imagine potential and thinking past logic seems silly and a waste of time to them.
Damn you are so right I am jealous of enfps. I wish I could be in the moment like that, but also I would never want to be one
You said which things you hate in INTJs and i will say which things i love in ENFPs. They are sooooo cute, sooooo funny and sooooooo sexy ;-). Te deseo lo mejor.
Tell us ENFP more lmao
The best chemistry from all types. I just feel that they read my mind and do all things that i want before i even ask for that things it is really amazing.
@@bozydarziemniak1853 wow thats interesting! ENFP can get scared thinking they might be wrong and start doubting their intuition and begin to ignore it until the INTJ comes to enfp to tell them however the thing is, I don't think the INTJ would tell ENFP if ENFP didn't put foot forward 1st. Is that correct? Please help me clarify
@@user-pk5pl7ox1e What?! :D (I just read that comment in my head by using your tiny helium voice and i start laughing, seriously :)).
@@bozydarziemniak1853 lmao 🤣
If you don’t think the video should have started at the two minute mark, are you even a real INTJ?
If I would have done so, it wouldn’t be my video anymore. Reason why I use chapters. So I can still do my videos spontaneously and you guys can skip if you want
Te is so proud of you, Simon. Fi, on the other hand, is so proud of Mindi. 😝
I agree with all that you said
Soy de acuerdo Mindi. Ha! Ya sabia que hablabas Espanol! La confirmaste me suspicion.
Muy bien!! 😅
Another thing people are confused about and share the wrong info is that, INTJs are Shy. We aren't shy and it ain't true that we will go around a Wallmart the whole time and never ask the people around to find an item. Its about getting job done, so we ask that. If any INTJ feels shy to ask a person and instead waste time just for searching it yourself, I'm sorry honey, u ain't an INTJ. In a gist, we are confident introverts, and we choose to stay alone than be with others.
That’s true 💯
If you scroll on the thumbnail it looks cool for your shirt
Never delete messages in conversations, often delete comments that failed to gain audience. Never hide my face. Still overthinking and brooding a lot, but who doesn't. I mean one doesn't have to be an INTJ to think (longer), right? Or perhaps I'm not a real INTJ. Who cares, right?
No idea. These are just some of my observations and there are always exceptions to anything :)
BUT....... don't you guys ENFPs love challange???
11:37 Hold on, didn't you say earlier that you find that attractive? I'm pretty sure there was something about ENFP requiring time to miss the other person...
Oh, and save feeling guilty for when you've actually screwed up. The world clearly needs a reminder that there are multiple ways to deal with someone getting offended. Sometimes it takes an apology, sometimes it takes a finger.
She means that ENFPs don't like to contact you on a daily basis. On the other hand, they would LOVE to spend a good deal of time with you when you finally meet (after a long time, of course, because this is how Ne/Ni doms basically interact).
@@rehammohammed846 yes!
why do you hate intjs not wanting to show their face?
if we allow you to put our photo then people would think it come from one crime scene where the cops caught the serial killer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I wish I can change, but I can't
I'm an INTJ.. I'm getting uncomfortable just watching how much you move while talking, when you are excited, moving your head or hands and all that... Like so much Energy you are radiating, it's unstablizing my mental peace.. Like it's too much to handle for me... 😅😅😅.. Sorry... Just INTJ things... But, loved your video though...
For my own opinion is people had made Sigma channels to attract sigma to themselves or get relationships with them.
I don't like stay very long not working on my projects. Unless you are giving me ideas on how to do something better I'm not going to just hang out and enjoy coffee. I have stuff to do.
really i thought INTJs would make it perfect before even sending out instead of deleting them... haha
As an assertive INTJ I can't relate to the first few points.
Poor guy's so far in the friend zone and probably doesn't even know...
We love refining, sorry. It always takes me too long to text bc I refine refine refine. It’s perfectionism taken too far . I’m trying to let go of this.
You're not an ENFP. Clearly.
ROFL
😂😂😂 intj me