Sexual Abuse in the Church: My Grooming Experience

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  • Опубликовано: 10 дек 2024

Комментарии • 33

  • @richardrickford3028
    @richardrickford3028 3 дня назад

    Thank you so so much for your tremendous courage in speaking out over what happened to you. It will help a great number of people and may well make people blow the whistle on these very very evil and sick people. I myself was abused sexually at a boarding school in the UK at the age of thirteen. Although the precise dynamics of what happened to me were different it helps me tremendously to hear stories like yours and know that there are other people speaking out.
    When something like this happens the police need to be called in. And possibly the social services. Churches unfortunately often put the reputation of their church before the rights and needs of the victim. And future victims. They will try and do a holy cover up. I use the term holy sarcastically I hasten to add. There are well known cases in the UK like with John Smyth where the church of England sent this highly abusive man to be a vicar in Zimbabwe rather than call the police and the social services in to get him arrested and tried.
    Sexual abuse and grooming does people long term and deep pernicious damage and can lead to trauma and all sorts of horrendous mental illness. I only hope you are surrounded by people who really really love and cherish you and you are able to get all the professional support you need. I also hope you continue to really really love yourself. It is certainly what you deserve. As Oscar Wilde said "It is our only guaranteed lifelong romance"

  • @Elianomaly
    @Elianomaly 5 лет назад +5

    Thank you for making this video! The world needs people as honest about this kind of topic, so thank you for being one! God won’t give you more than you can handle, you’re clearly so strong. God bless you for helping others be speaking up!

    • @SugarDugs
      @SugarDugs  5 лет назад

      Thank you so much. I will keep speaking out loud!

  • @thatweatherguy08
    @thatweatherguy08 4 года назад +3

    Thank you for this video!! I myself am a victim of clergy sex abuse, and can recall everything that happened to me!! I was 13 when it happened.
    Your courage in telling your story, gave me the courage to speak up about my abuse.
    I have along way to go, but It's the first step in the right direction!!!!!

  • @hollykusler1408
    @hollykusler1408 5 лет назад +3

    I wasn't groomed by clergy but rather two high school teachers. Our experiences are almost exactly the same. Thank you for telling your story and for informing others of what this process looks like. Sending love and light your way, dear.

    • @SugarDugs
      @SugarDugs  5 лет назад +1

      I'm so very sorry to hear you went through a similar experience. Just hoping my videos can help shine light on situations like ours and help people who have been through the same thing. Love and light sent right back at ya!

  • @mikerhoades5480
    @mikerhoades5480 3 года назад +1

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm confident this will help a lot of people. My wife and I suffered abuse from a trusted pastoral friend. The grooming tactics used against my wife and myself and even our children matches completely the things that you said. I'm so sorry that you went through this. My Spidey senses went off for months, but I thought I was crazy how could I possibly think such evil about such a great man. I want to help men identify these patterns so that they can better protect their families and themselves. What you said about the groomer grooming the entire family was spot on. Also, what you said about the wife was spot on as well and a point of confusion for me and my wife during this whole process. And like you, I'm not saying that she was implicit in his grooming, but her actions definitely muddy the waters. Anyway, not to put blame on her, but it's definitely something we all need to have a higher awareness of and understand the signs of how these pastoral groomers think and operate. Long comment, bottom line is, thanks for having the courage to share your story. It was very helpful to me and I'm going to share it with my wife.

  • @andrewbagherpour
    @andrewbagherpour Год назад

    Very edifying to the church! continue to spread this knowledge. We all need to know how to hold each other accountable and not allow this to happen to our families, brothers or sisters.

  • @RichardWeitzmann-z2e
    @RichardWeitzmann-z2e 6 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you so much for sharing this. What you do is important and helpfull for all of us!

  • @L5biszz
    @L5biszz Год назад +1

    This was v useful. Thanks for sharing. How much therapy have you gone through so far?

  • @melliecrann-gaoth4789
    @melliecrann-gaoth4789 21 день назад

    Really helpful. This is something that does not get detailed and it is so important. A creepy man wanted to help by kids with extra study - a teacher snd my daughter had missed tonnes of school. He was her dad’s neighbour. I said no way and

  • @LadyFay88
    @LadyFay88 4 года назад +2

    Thank you for sharing your story. God bless you.

  • @kaceyelizabeth8955
    @kaceyelizabeth8955 3 года назад +1

    Same ish, abused not only myself but my family relations and my daughter. It's really really really disturbing.

  • @AshlynKShope
    @AshlynKShope 5 лет назад +4

    Literally everything this man did to you is everything my groomer did to me! Thank you for speaking up

    • @SugarDugs
      @SugarDugs  5 лет назад +1

      I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope my speaking out helps you feel less alone!

    • @AshlynKShope
      @AshlynKShope 5 лет назад

      @@SugarDugs thank you!

  • @cynthiaboyd1710
    @cynthiaboyd1710 4 года назад +1

    Thankyou for opening up your heart!

  • @mylesflaig148
    @mylesflaig148 5 лет назад +4

    ✨🙏✨ I will share this with my teens.✨😺💫

    • @SugarDugs
      @SugarDugs  5 лет назад +1

      Please do! I feel like it is such important information!

  • @broscosmoline
    @broscosmoline 2 года назад

    shayna, do you still have a blog?

  • @DaRyteJuan
    @DaRyteJuan 9 месяцев назад

    7:16 _”You feel like you can trust them to do God’s will.”_
    Well considering all the people of earth are God’s children, look at what he did to Mary behind Joseph’s back. Gets her knocked up, leaves raising the kid to the cuckolded husband, and when the going gets tough for Jesus, God the Father is nowhere to be found.
    When God sent his angel down to proposition Mary, I’m pretty sure He left all of that out of the discussion.
    The clergy are only following the example set forth by the Holy Father.

  • @Jacknov1963
    @Jacknov1963 26 дней назад

    Right, when you are 18 you are able to say no. It is not abuse.

  • @melliecrann-gaoth4789
    @melliecrann-gaoth4789 21 день назад

    Great woman

  • @MemoriesInMonochrome
    @MemoriesInMonochrome 4 года назад +1

    This is why marriage is 'Bride' and 'Groom' because the Groom was 'Grooming' the Bride. Makes perfect sense now.

    • @YourMom-jd6jp
      @YourMom-jd6jp 2 года назад

      That's a clever thought (and considering how marriages were back then it wouldn't surprise me) , but the term "grooming" is fairly recent. I'm 99% sure the word "Groom" predates it

  • @Jeffery3pstein
    @Jeffery3pstein Месяц назад

    elite yapper

  • @odgreen019
    @odgreen019 Год назад

    You engaged in it because you wanted to and you got benefits from it. You're not a victim. You engaged in something that you wanted to do and you're blaming other people for. You didn't do anything wrong but don't be a hypocrite.

    • @piku5637
      @piku5637 Год назад +1

      Okay groomer

    • @care4izzy
      @care4izzy Год назад +1

      what?

    • @TheAstrofromspace
      @TheAstrofromspace 5 месяцев назад

      Did he leave DNA inside you for evidence

    • @munashemushamba9793
      @munashemushamba9793 Месяц назад

      wow; sounds like the abuser

    • @richardrickford3028
      @richardrickford3028 3 дня назад

      Your remarks are highly abusive and highly ignorant. I suggest you do some proper academic research into this whole area before you add your tuppenies worth again.I also suspect you are caught in the madonna whore delusion about women. Women like men are very messy and very very complicated as humans. We all have our dark sides and our light sides. We all slip up and make mistakes. But nobody but nobody deserves to be sexually abused and horrendously taken advantage of. You would be behaving in a less abusive way to this brave and courageous woman if you just slapped her in the face.