More Problems! Did Emem Just Show Us That Aggression? Ikechi is Insufferable | MAFS S18 EP11

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  • Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025

Комментарии • 121

  • @trishtalksflix
    @trishtalksflix 23 дня назад +68

    He walks around saying things like "I have no peace" "I have nothing to be happy about" but when asked to elaborate on how or why, he never can. His problem is with his self esteem and he's taking it out on her because she's willing to do anything to stay married.

    • @mwfontenot978
      @mwfontenot978 20 дней назад +1

      Spot on! He’s too old to be acting like that. That’s why I say he is dangerous because if doesn’t gain any self awareness from this experiment, then what’s it going to take?

  • @queenofcoco918
    @queenofcoco918 23 дня назад +28

    I think the correct word for Emem is ASSERTIVE. She is s business owner, a boss, if she were a man, it would be ok for her to be direct. Where she is now is because of how she has been treated. I do not agree with spicy at all. And the difference is Ikeechi acts out unprovoked. He did direct that same energy to the therapist and couhtless others, we have only seen Emem respond to him that way after being treated poorly. So, I know the therapist is trying to be fair, however, I have to be honest, I did notice a small disconnect with her and the other two black women on the previous season, go back and watch.

    • @jamiedodson3402
      @jamiedodson3402 22 дня назад +1

      That “man boy’ is intimidated by her, and her accomplishments. He’ll never admit to what’s really going on. Next thing he’ll pull the “I don’t like women that wear weave and eyelashes “ card

  • @jackeeB
    @jackeeB 23 дня назад +41

    Emen is too heavy-handed and needs to learn how to fall back at times.
    I also understand what Emen's cousin meant when he said that it's okay to be aggressive. Since Ike is passive and passive-aggressive, someone has to step up and be a leader. Ike can't lead a horse to water, so Emen can't relax either.
    Both have issues. Ike is a POS and a liar. Emen needs to realize when a man isn't interested.

    • @Dani84409
      @Dani84409 23 дня назад +6

      I do feel all the excessive texting and calling is way too much. At some point you just need to know when to stop. Also, from what we saw on the show we didn’t see her act the way he stated & if she did she had every right to the way he treated her.

    • @exquisite921
      @exquisite921 23 дня назад

      Agreed!!

  • @Spinsterwife
    @Spinsterwife 21 день назад +5

    Right on Shawn! Also, how about using the ACCURATE words for Emem like confident, assertive, direct, and for Icky, hostile and abusive. The situation is very dangerous and the so called experts are allowing it.

  • @khenry-x9679
    @khenry-x9679 23 дня назад +20

    Emem desperately wants this marriage to work and she has blinders on and doesn’t see or want to see ALL the red flags that are clearly in front of her. Ike needs to man up and be honest with Emen and tell her…he don’t like her. That was evident at their wedding.

  • @StatenIslandMensDivorce
    @StatenIslandMensDivorce 19 дней назад +1

    I love that we have this group of brothers analyzing this issue!!! Excellent perspectives!!

  • @datsesstella2375
    @datsesstella2375 23 дня назад +14

    Emem is too analytical and when dealing with a bullshitter, an analytical person will seem aggressive. The main thing that grinds my gears with her is her bugaboo tendencies. Why call and text this man over and over when he clearly doesn’t want to be bothered by her. She’s the type that doesn’t allow someone to miss her presence enough to appreciate her

    • @KS-hi8vi
      @KS-hi8vi 20 дней назад +1

      Exactly sometimes women have to understand when she’s being played with.

  • @jbird1650
    @jbird1650 23 дня назад +26

    There's no accountability for Cankles aka Ike. Everything was askef if Emem to do, but no one asked Cankle Ankles to apologize for the name calling. Where Emem lost ground at was asking him to move back in. She should have sat there and gave the same expression as Cankles.

  • @henriettavanderfloof8104
    @henriettavanderfloof8104 23 дня назад +16

    Iketchi doesn’t know it yet (and he may never believe it) but he needs intensive therapy. Therapy may not even work for him. He may have a personality disorder. I will not join any of the people even putting an ounce of this on EmEm. The boy cannot, will not answer a SIMPLE QUESTION.

    • @yobiwolrd07
      @yobiwolrd07 23 дня назад

      Curious to know why you would think that therapy wouldn't work with somebody that has a personality disorder?

  • @perlasantos7675
    @perlasantos7675 23 дня назад +56

    Ikechi has feminine energy and Emem has a more dominant energy. He just isn’t strong enough to be anyone’s husband really and especially not Emem.

    • @jennifercooljeo6552
      @jennifercooljeo6552 22 дня назад +1

      Ikechi doesn’t have feminine energy, he’s emotional and passive aggressive. Emen is a type A personality

    • @perlasantos7675
      @perlasantos7675 22 дня назад +1

      @ bring emotional is aligned with femininity

  • @Afak6
    @Afak6 23 дня назад +18

    I'm always Team Phil and echo his sentiment that this episode was WACK! The experts didn't hold Ikewchi's feet to fire at all especially on the disrespectful language he used to describe his wife. They didn't point blank ask him if he even LIKED Emem?? And then they proceeded to convince Emem that the relationship was worth saving.🙄

  • @jennapitts8373
    @jennapitts8373 23 дня назад +16

    Emem did not ask for an apology. She was apologizing and saying how she wanted for him to feel safe. Ridiculous.

  • @KS-hi8vi
    @KS-hi8vi 20 дней назад +3

    Remember Ikechi love bombed Emem on the honeymoon. She’s waiting for that man to appear again.

  • @lindalubanga
    @lindalubanga 23 дня назад +26

    Ikechi is abusive. But Emem choosing disrespect and abuse means she is a willing participant to her own abuse. She is no longer a victim at this point.

    • @RBNY
      @RBNY 23 дня назад +3

      So one ceases to be a victim unless they leave?

    • @MsLiberianLady
      @MsLiberianLady 23 дня назад +4

      That’s a strong statement..I think he has some self esteem issues. He has some inner work to do

    • @exquisite921
      @exquisite921 23 дня назад +2

      @@RBNYthere’s nothing you can do for a person who continues to welcome that treatment so… yeah kinda

    • @yobiwolrd07
      @yobiwolrd07 23 дня назад +1

      Unfortunately true

    • @tfran2686
      @tfran2686 23 дня назад +3

      I mean she on a show, they are going to convince her to stay with him longer

  • @dm4254
    @dm4254 23 дня назад +15

    Ikeci, doesn't want this marriage he is frustrating and would drive anyone crazy.

  • @JacquelineRobertson-zo7gf
    @JacquelineRobertson-zo7gf 23 дня назад +14

    We all have spice in us.

  • @Heal885
    @Heal885 23 дня назад +10

    Emem initiated the invitation for him to come back.
    Just as Ikechi sat there Emem could too.

    • @aunty_teetee
      @aunty_teetee 23 дня назад

      Did she? Or could she have been heavily influenced, maybe even pressured to try and make it work by producers? I don't think any of us who've never participated in a show like this can understand how truly diabolical the behind the scenes stuff is. They have zero concern for these individuals and are only interested in making their show.

  • @yobiwolrd07
    @yobiwolrd07 23 дня назад +6

    Notice how Ikechi Don't behave like this around Emem's cousin .....

  • @karmikarm1079
    @karmikarm1079 23 дня назад +6

    Anyone else hear Em is already in a new relationship and engaged? I mean she had a huge rock on her left hand on the after show. She also didn’t sound as delusional about Ike during this last after show.

    • @piscesofthesea6695
      @piscesofthesea6695 22 дня назад +1

      I can’t wait to see who it is! If it’s one of the guys from MAFS or someone completely different.

  • @astar0924
    @astar0924 23 дня назад +15

    I don’t like the use of use of words “eagerness” and spice. She was simply stating that factually, yes, that was her husband. Especially since the counselors encouraged them to recognize each other a married couple (which is even more problematic given the emotional abuse that is happening). I have no issue with Emem establishing her perspective in a solid clear way in that context.

    • @jennapitts8373
      @jennapitts8373 23 дня назад

      Oh good lord! Eagerness, spice. they are words. Aggressive. It is a word too. Black people get upset about all these words and not calling each other the "N" word or b!t@hs

    • @exquisite921
      @exquisite921 23 дня назад +1

      Just because you don’t like the term doesn’t make it false. Some of you are far too sensitive. She’s exhibiting all of what he’s said and it needs to be addressed because she’s willing to be married by any means necessary and it’s a turn off to everyone

  • @Leah-lv4qv
    @Leah-lv4qv 20 дней назад +1

    Not only did he NOT apologize, he doubled down. After he lied saying that he's NEVER disrespected her, and was called out by Pastor Cal, he said well if you act like an a-hole you get called an a-hole. Who does that? And without even a breath between. How is that NOT disrespecting her? He makes up excuses by the seat of his pants. He feel less than her. He thought he was the gift. He thought she'd be impressed with his apartment with the beautiful view... Until he saw her place.

  • @rhondareid1972
    @rhondareid1972 23 дня назад +6

    Replay Gang!🎉

  • @Dani84409
    @Dani84409 23 дня назад +4

    Ike sat in that chair and told us on national television while talking to Pastor Cal that he has to LIKE you to move in with you. That said enough right there. Emem is a good one bc she tried tried and tried, there is no way any other woman would have sat there and took that. All he’s doing is projecting his own insecurities onto Emem. How she so called treats other people has nothing to do with him not liking her.

  • @redlipstickclub
    @redlipstickclub 23 дня назад +11

    I want to see more men that are reviewing this show say if they recognize a pattern in Ike that I personally have seen in other men that were SA'd as young adults or kids by women..sometimes to a grooming point and they are incredibly triggered by aggressive women because it puts them back in that vulnerable position where they had no control. All the guys I know that have dealt with that are also all narcissists to hide the trauma.

    • @LittleBlackBook91
      @LittleBlackBook91  23 дня назад +5

      oooh wow i never thought of it like that but now u say it it makes sense

    • @redlipstickclub
      @redlipstickclub 23 дня назад +3

      @ and many of the young boys were chunky or overweight and the older ones were young men that developed quickly. They end up being body insecure (that’s what i get from Ike with his body shape that’s a bit more voluptuous than most men) or they go over the top with being vain but self loathing at the same time. Instead of protecting these young boys and men, they are given high fives and kudos not realizing the long lasting impact.

    • @redlipstickclub
      @redlipstickclub 23 дня назад +9

      @@LittleBlackBook91 I also find these men at times to become "overly sexual" themselves when they are in charge, but feeling taken advantag of when they arent. Notice, he put her hand on his private area right away, but when she kind of took over and he had no more control, sex became a turnoff. Now all of a sudden he equates her advances to not having emotions connected to it. He was the same way, but he only holds her accountable for that. Even his friends said he was a "ladies man"...he has emotionally detached from sex, but at the same time, longs for intimacy...but he is so broken, he wouldnt be able to provide it back. Lose/Lose situation.

  • @Play4keeks
    @Play4keeks 23 дня назад +4

    I'm sorry I disagree.Anybody would have an attitude if they were subjected to what this man has put Emem through.

  • @anyascales4302
    @anyascales4302 22 дня назад +2

    I think without knowing it Emem has given up on the idea that a man can be secure with her success.
    When he was looking at her apartment you can see her shrink like “not again”.
    I think her desperation comes from the same place her success comes from she has an idea of where her life should be now and she may feel like she can’t have that life because of the thing she is so proud of. Her success

  • @ToOpen6seven
    @ToOpen6seven 22 дня назад

    ‘You have to inquire before you can make a judgment’. Excellent advice.

  • @PG0799
    @PG0799 23 дня назад +1

    You guys nail it 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @angieb822
    @angieb822 23 дня назад +3

    Hi Kojo - great vid - but I would push back on the ‘spicy ’ label re: Ike. The primary difference being Emem hadn’t called him out of his name, up to that point. Everyone has a breaking point, and I agree that Emem needs to fall back or just get out of dodge altogether. Sean gave great points re:therapist. The sessions should be a safe and/or brave space to express yourself, not be ridiculed in the manner in which the expression is given.

  • @buttaflygirl05
    @buttaflygirl05 21 день назад +1

    From what I can see Em is an A type, overachiever. Shes a trailblazer and a boss, a leader who is managing a business with many clients. She's been alone for so long that all she knows is to take the reins and push things forward..juggling schedules, paying bills for herself and her business (im sure she probably takes care of family members to some extent). The problem is they gave her a beta male and he doesn't have the ability to help her turn all of that off in his presence and in the marriage. He instead became childlike and feels she's trying to dominate him. When really he just doesn't have the financial status or the level of self esteem to knw how to step up and she probably would naturally step down a bit with his help.

    • @buttaflygirl05
      @buttaflygirl05 21 день назад +1

      Sidebar - if u watch the scene of the 2 of them with the experts - peep his hand placement covering his private parts. That man is intimidated by her strong personality. Lol He literally shrinks in her presence and he's trying to combat it but he's too emotional and isn't fully equipped to do so without throwing daggers. Em knows herself so we see her trying to dial her assertiveness and her ambition back but her energy is still dominant.

  • @kawandajohnson6297
    @kawandajohnson6297 23 дня назад +1

    Phil is spot on!!!!!!

  • @songsofgrace.cornflakes1766
    @songsofgrace.cornflakes1766 23 дня назад +4

    Emem doesn't hold him accountable. She's still grinning in his face.

  • @Leah-lv4qv
    @Leah-lv4qv 20 дней назад

    He liked her on the honeymoon. They talked about how well they were doing, as they both acknowledged that realistically there would be challenges ahead, and started conversation about how to handle it openly and honestly. It was not until he saw her place that he did the about face!

  • @lifeisgood2492
    @lifeisgood2492 21 день назад

    I think the misconception of allowing someone to lead is that you automatically have to follow. From what we’re getting Emem doesn’t allow space for the situation to unfold. You can allow someone to show you who they are or what they will or won’t do and operate from that position.

  • @leaticethomas3266
    @leaticethomas3266 23 дня назад +3

    Looking back to when Ikechi informed Emen about his past upbringing with his mother and father, this may tell us about his present behavior with Emem. It seemed like he wanted some degree of empathy from her but judging from her response he did not get this from her.

    • @whyme7862
      @whyme7862 23 дня назад

      It's just my guess, but probably because when she asked him to clarify he stormed off.

    • @leaticethomas3266
      @leaticethomas3266 23 дня назад

      @ I don’t recall Emem questioning Ikechi after he told her about his father throwing him out and having to live on the street . Please don’t take this comment as a indication that I support Ikechi’s behavior. I was brainstorming and trying to figure out his thinking process.

  • @renecardwell2126
    @renecardwell2126 22 дня назад

    I agree with Shawn that Emem was not being spicy with Dr. Pia. She was simply acknowledging what is true--that Ike is, in every sense, her husband. I also don't think Emem should be penalized for trying to embrace this process. Also, as Kojo mentioned, on the After Party, Keisha repeatedly had to press Ike to get the specific answers to her questions, yet he didn't curse her or call her aggressive. Yet when it comes to his wife, who he vowed before God and man, to honor and respect, he chooses not to give her that same benevolence anytime she tries to gain clarification when they communicate. Even Pastor Cal told Ike to stop trying to gaslight him on two occasions.

  • @therealilanchefpatricia
    @therealilanchefpatricia 23 дня назад +8

    Y make her look desperate after being disrespected dehuamaized

  • @estellabranson1887
    @estellabranson1887 23 дня назад +5

    Ikeci is not going to do anything to help the marriage. Emem is probably in her head saying " this is where I should be in my life my stage of life." Ikeci perspective is still delusal, and passive aggressive. Any newlywed should be eager and happy. Ikeci has too much baggage to be on this show. He needs to be on someone's couch talking to a psychologist. Ikeci would bring out the spice any woman with his attitude.

    • @tamikoaaron1597
      @tamikoaaron1597 23 дня назад +1

      Narcissistic people never collaborate to solve problems. He believes she has 100% of the blame and he has already discarded her mentally.

  • @randomthought6681
    @randomthought6681 23 дня назад +3

    Everyone say: *In that space* in 3,2,1…

  • @PMA-s8m
    @PMA-s8m 22 дня назад

    I totally agree with Sean

  • @madelinewilliams7073
    @madelinewilliams7073 23 дня назад +5

    Can she be communicating with passion, and is the response related to any trauma regarding that type of communication in her life? That would make her response coming from a place of hurt, instead of anger. I like positive words to address communication. “Spicy” aggressive, does not allow for someone to look internally. Ask the person how they think they responded and wha was going on with her tone, body language, etc.

    • @Heal885
      @Heal885 23 дня назад

      Spicy is not negative

    • @madelinewilliams7073
      @madelinewilliams7073 23 дня назад +2

      In my opinion, spicy is not positive, therefore it is negative, it can put someone on the defense and move the conversation away from the goal, which is to communicate for all parties involved to understand.

    • @Heal885
      @Heal885 23 дня назад +1

      Something not being positive does not mean it’s negative. The word “neutral” exists.
      Your opinion is fine but the logic of your argument didn’t work.

  • @luvlybeauty85
    @luvlybeauty85 21 день назад

    What I don’t understand is how is he not her husband, but this is married at first sight make it make sense. Dr Pia was tripping period.😒

  • @dr.ivypearl
    @dr.ivypearl 18 дней назад

    I’ve been missing these reviews🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @exquisite921
    @exquisite921 23 дня назад +3

    I’m not defending Emem anymore like girl you are damn near Pepe Le Pew. She doesn’t know when to quit even when humiliated. Like he’s not reciprocating her energy and has rejected her in more ways than one. I see what Ike means when describing her as aggressive. It’s unattractive.

  • @slya9547
    @slya9547 23 дня назад +5

    Ike needs to go get help.

  • @lorij92
    @lorij92 22 дня назад +1

    Don’t get me wrong Ikechi is a problem, but Emem came in with the idea I am married and he is mine. Possession. From jump she was singing about her husband, her husband, her husband. As if the fact they were matched meant that’s it. We are hitched for life.

    • @maryj1156
      @maryj1156 22 дня назад

      Aren't they legally married? This is not Love is Blind...they are MARRIED. If he was not ready/willing to be in it for the long haul, no matter who you are matched with, why sign up for the show? Imen acted like a WIFE.

  • @KS-hi8vi
    @KS-hi8vi 20 дней назад

    Ikechi knows what he’s doing. He even said he didn’t want to answer questions. He’s self aware this man is a teacher. Ikechi plays games he’s a CON MAN.
    It’s no reason for Ikechi to be so mean and call her names and accuse her of SA.
    Emem lacks boundaries and self awareness. She needs therapy. Ikechi is a liar he is jealous of Emem. He was impressed that she had so many tv’s. Who are low value people sound like he’s JUDGING. We didn’t see it I don’t believe it. He had to make up a story to validate his lie. He knows who to push he wasn’t about to come at Keisha.

  • @amby3805
    @amby3805 20 дней назад

    He’s intimidated by his wife, her cousin, the other men on the cast. As soon as they even ask him a question he goes into defense. He hates being asked questions because it requires him to reveal his true self. What a deeply insecure man.

  • @JacquelineRobertson-zo7gf
    @JacquelineRobertson-zo7gf 23 дня назад +1

    I have a TV in every room too.

  • @mariareid8209
    @mariareid8209 22 дня назад

    Shawndavis 120 exactly 💯 if he is not going to uphold what the experiment is they need to talk to him if not he needs to leave screw the views and etx enough is enough with these shows keep doing this to us

  • @jennapitts8373
    @jennapitts8373 23 дня назад +2

    Em is almost a doctor. I would not want for her to make any decisions for me as a patient the way she can't make decisions for herself. People bashed Danielle for ending the marriage saying she was too young and you bashed Orion for ending his.

    • @THEREALSOURCE
      @THEREALSOURCE 23 дня назад +1

      She's not a doctor. She's an esthecian nurse practioner.

    • @Play4keeks
      @Play4keeks 23 дня назад +4

      Well, I'm glad you don't know your doctor's background because they are just humans. They care as much baggage as the next person.

    • @thepurpleone5959
      @thepurpleone5959 22 дня назад

      Well damn. 😂😂😂

  • @troylinzey3326
    @troylinzey3326 22 дня назад +2

    she was not spicy!

  • @Leah-lv4qv
    @Leah-lv4qv 20 дней назад

    Dr Pia was wrong! MAFS wants EVERYONE to acknowledge that they are married. They have counselled many couples to acknowledge the marriage. The experts usually tell the couples this is your husband, this is your wife. Lean in to it! So if Emem chooses to recognize that they have big problems AND they are required by contract to be together for 8 weeks. She may need to say this is MY HUSBAND in order to allow to hang in for 3 more weeks!

  • @Leah-lv4qv
    @Leah-lv4qv 20 дней назад

    What's wrong with direct communication? Emem would have to be a saint to not go off on him AND his clown suit. As Ike would say, if you act like a clown... The clown suite fits!

  • @flowersforme375
    @flowersforme375 22 дня назад

    I would have been like, “Oh, I’m aggressive? I’ll show you aggressive-fire and brimstone!” 🔥🔥🌪️⚡️ Stop wasting your time on that hurt and ridiculous boy.

  • @exquisite921
    @exquisite921 23 дня назад +3

    I have completely concluded that Ike decided against being intimate with Emem because he sees her tendencies. while he’s not a great person, he’s not dumb either, and he knows that he’s not serious. It will be hard to get rid of her after sex.

  • @tbrigorman
    @tbrigorman 23 дня назад +5

    She does not know how to sit back and let him lead.
    She feeds to back off and his actions will speak louder than his words.

    • @femdivinemind7777
      @femdivinemind7777 23 дня назад +13

      He's not a leader...

    • @tbrigorman
      @tbrigorman 23 дня назад +6

      Exactly.
      I thought she said she wanted a leader.
      He's not a leader, why deal with him?
      She's too good for him.

    • @Play4keeks
      @Play4keeks 23 дня назад +3

      Why would she let him lead? He can't even control his emotions. Men say women can't lead all the time because we're emotional, but when a man is emotional, you're telling women to sit back and let them lead? That's ridiculous.

    • @femdivinemind7777
      @femdivinemind7777 22 дня назад

      @Play4keeks they think their penises automatically make them leaders ...

  • @yolandap6521
    @yolandap6521 23 дня назад

    Kojo, u have Easton face covered with clip from the show.

  • @nancy347
    @nancy347 22 дня назад

    She is just going to through the process, but I know you all need something to talk about.

  • @madelinewilliams7073
    @madelinewilliams7073 23 дня назад

    Can she be communicating with passion, and is the response related to any trauma regarding that type of communication in her life? That would make her response coming from a place of hurt, instead of anger. I like positive words to address communication. “Spicy” aggressive, does not allow for someone to look internally. Ask the person how they think they responded and what was going on with her tone, body language, etc. in addition, providing individuals if examples is a good way to enhance self reflection.

  • @belovedjordan189
    @belovedjordan189 22 дня назад

    to be honest I think Ikechi has dealt with physical and emotional abuse from his mother and his mother was mean and aggressive like Em. Ikechi needs therapy-look at how he holds him arm when talking to Em and immediate need to leave the situation when EM gets hypered and even tho she softens shes till probably too overly assertive for his liking and his trauma. This man has been traumatized and abused by his mother and prob needs someone to approach him with kindness and softness even when he's wrong dont hurt but like ww letting him know its ok

  • @cpalm5416
    @cpalm5416 23 дня назад +2

    Ikechi blows up on Emem AND Emem chews at Ikechi. Both of them bite.
    I agree with Jeff, both are delusional. Ikechi will never be able to connect with Emem because he is an emotional guy.
    Emem lacks emotions which she said at the beginning of the show explaining her family situation. She is too emotionally aggressive for Ikechi.

  • @TheMssandy
    @TheMssandy 20 дней назад

    Why is there a fire hydrant in the living room?

    • @amby3805
      @amby3805 20 дней назад

      It’s probably a hotel

  • @elmajique
    @elmajique 22 дня назад

    EMEM is NOT the problem in any way, the man is acting a fool because he's a fraud. He wants to be kicked out of the process so he won't be exposed.He's showing his full 🍑 in an effort to be kicked off without fault.

  • @jessicamazeya3626
    @jessicamazeya3626 23 дня назад +4

    Emmem is completely dellusional. Also i dont see her saying anything positive about him. So I dont understand why she is so pressed to call him « my husband » all the time like he is a prize … when they visited his appartement she didnt say anything nice. He played the guitar for her, she didnt complimented him. When asking why she wants to work on the situation she didnt had a clear answer … its giving desperate to be married. (Not saying Ikechi is perfect)

  • @Leah-lv4qv
    @Leah-lv4qv 20 дней назад

    What's wrong with direct communication? Emem would have to be a saint to not go off on him AND his clown suit. As Ike would say, if you act like a clown... The clown suite fits!