@@samanthasoukup5852 Oh no, they're not dead. I just couldn't take care of them anymore (due to financial reasons.) Thanks for your concern though i guess
An Oleander is a flower that is toxic in all of its parts. I really like the symbolism in the song with the Toxic Oleander, which when you realize what an Oleander really is you can understand that the song is about someone Toxic.
I see people putting comments about the lyrics meaning and the different people in an abusive relationship, which I fully understand and think is a good way to perceive it. But when I first listened to the song I instantly thought it was from the perspective of an abuser.
@@boxdoesASMR yeah, and the high voice at the beginning is like a mask, because you can hear a deeper voice in the background which could be who the abuser really is
yeah same. the lyrics "white white leaves of an oleander, white like me" made me think its from the abusers pov because oleander is a toxic/poisonous shrub
BYE cus someone on pinterest came up with an EPIC story idea about a small village and ppl living their lives, until ppl start mysteriously dying and everybody desperately investigates (imagine this taking place in a time before autopsies and stuff). Little do they know the killer happens to be the sweet old lady selling her honey cakes and treats with the honey from an oleander flower. THIS IS NOT MY ORIGINAL STORY BUT imagine this song being the main theme and playing at the ending or something and maybe add sum romance to make it more interesting....I think this story has a shitton of potential esp with a dark cottage core aesthetic or something Being a "writer" myself, I truly wish that I couldve come up with the idea because I'm in love
@@kittibird4464 can't say I'm in the place I wanted to be but I am slowly making my way and not having to fear for someone's life day after day is making everything better. Hope you are doing alright as well. PSA for anyone reading this thread: if you feel something is wrong in your relationship/friendship etc and you know you are not able to fix it because, for example, you're not a therapist who knows how to deal with psychological shit, just break up. It's not going to be any better, no matter what you do. Your sacrifices won't even be recognised. Your health and safety is more important.
I was once in a toxic relationship, where my ex was emotionally abusive and would talk about her cuts, and self harm. Whenever I would want to log off (we were internet gfs) she would threaten to kill herself, even if I had tests or if I was sick, so whenever I found this it hit me right in the feels. Now I just listen to it cause it's so good.
Ooft, I went through something extremely similar with my ex at the start of last year, even worse he was in the same class as me. Guilt tripping is never good, I hope you're okay because I know how traumatising it can be
finn's garden I’ve had one like that too. I’m not so sure about him now. He’s not really there anymore, and I hate to say that I’m glad. I’m tired of all of the fake suicides he’d announce. He’s only done an attempt once and the rest are just lies for attention.
I had a girlfriend that would physically and emotionally abuse me. She would always punch, bite, kick, pinch, scratch, you name it. She would also tell me I'm weird for having mental health problems and said I was psychotic, I believed her because I relied on her to tell me the truth. It fucking sucks going through that shit. Not only that though, she had the same issues and would guilt trip me into not breaking up with her by lying about awful things that happened to her... My mental health has suffered greatly from that experience
i have dxed bpd, while i don’t consider myself to be abusive and try to never (at least outwardly) express things like “ill die if you leave me” or any other manipulative bs, this song is sooo cathartic since i do feel like the lyrics are at least thoughts ive had but never (and won’t) expressed to ppl in my life. i obviously interpret the song to be from an abusers perspective
This song is told by pov of the abuser, an Oleander is a toxic flower that takes a lot of care to keep alive when not in the wild, kind of like the relationship in this song.
In the song, there were two vocals, one high and one low, the higher toned may be a mask for the abuser, making as though he's the good guy, but going further into the song, the "mask" voice slowly disappears (or well, fades out) symbolising that the abuser is revealing their true appearance. But I don't know, I might be overthinking, sorry for the weird English, not my mother tongue
I agree with these two. A common manipulation tactic is to prevent the victim from escaping their abuse by making them feel like if they were to leave the abuser would kill themself, and no one wants to be responsible for that. The abuser is often times very dependent on the victim, needing their support to stay afloat.
You stood beside me when I was out of my mind I broke the glass, and you were there to sweep it aside And if you leave me, rest assured it would kill me I make a mess and you'll be there to help me undress I'll be unclean, I'll be obscene, you'll be the rest And if you leave me, rest assured it would kill me Like an oleander White white leaves, of an oleander White like me I'm like a child in a sty I play with vile I burn you right out, I burned your bible You tried to cry, put on a smile And if you leave me rest assured it would kill me Rest assured if you leave Like an oleander White white leaves, of an oleander White like me Of the oleander White white leaves of an oleander White like me
@@bluwhal3500 The official lyrics are literally exactly this. The song sounds like this. I don't know what is incorrect or missing from it. If I'm wrong please correct me but from what I can see nothing is wrong here.
I’ve been a mother mother fan for years and I absolutely love this song. I got a kitten last week and when deciding names we wanted something elegant and nature themed. When we saw Oleander we knew it was right. It wasn’t until I was getting ready one morning when this song turned on and I freaked out. This is official his theme song. I love the fact we unintentionally named him after this song
as a long time mother mother fan, i go oof im in the warriors fandom too but its kinda depressing that the only songs that get a few views are because of the warriors fans commenting and watching like ok, if you came here from the map thats ok but please do y'all have anything to say... about the song, rather than where you came from..?
You stood beside Me while I Was out of my mind I broke the glass And you were there To sweep it aside And if you leave me Rest assured, it would kill me I make a mess And you'll be there To help me undress I'll be unclean I'll be obscene You'll be the rest And if you leave me Rest assured, it would kill me Like an oleander White, white leaves Of an oleander White, like me I'm like a child In a sty I play with fire I burn you right out I burned your bible You tried to cry Put on a smile
Man, this song hits home when you're slowly learning to understand you're an abuse victim who's abuser manipulated and taught you you were the abuser. It's all confusing, it hurts. Be careful dating when you've got BPD, yo, because it becomes real easy for mentally healthy women to prey on ya when you're broken down and already hate yourself enough for your symptoms. I took her gaslighting as absolute truth because, well, I was the borderline, I had to be wrong.
Quiet BPD here, it's genuinely sad that people can't possibly fathom us at the victims. I've been in multiple abusive relationships in the past, none were romantic but Im aro so that is a given. I was young and dumb and gullible and these people I had hyperfixated on for most of my time with them, and they took that as an advantage. I'm so glad I got out of there.
I just realized that the very last note of the song makes this song incredibly good at instantly looping the song endlessly if you cut out the couple seconds of silence afterwards. Is this a coincidence or is it a hidden meaning to the symbolism of the song?
yeah! and the lyrics change as well from start to middle of the song. it says at the start: "i broke the glass and you WERE there to sweep it aside" but during the middle it becomes more demanding, as they say "i made a mess and you'll BE there to help me undress.", which makes the manipulative relationship even more evident, as the manipulator expects the victim to help them
I thank my ex for introducing me to this amazing band, however, I can relate with the lyrics: Our relationship became toxic and codependent after the last... Idk six months, we were both abusers and victims, we would threat each other with leaving or killing ourselves, at some point he would forbid me from wearing lots of makeup, skirts, dresses and even doing my hair, he would get mad if I talk to one of my guy friends, but I couldn't feel bad when I saw him treating his ex girlfriends better than me We never really picked fights, but one day at a party, we yelled at each other (can't remember why), and I wanted to leave, so when I turned around, he grabbed my arm saying "YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" when I asked why, he said because he needed me... We broke up almost two years ago, and even though I still kinda look after him (especially for his anxiety, epilepsy and several attempts of suicide), I'm glad I set myself free
I know this is old, but I've had a similar relationship back in my teenage years where both me and my partner were simultaneously the abusive and abused in our relationship. Both of us came from terrible backgrounds, him having just escaped an abusive relationship and my dealing with parental abuse and being a runaway, so it made sense why we behaved the way that we did, though that doesn't excuse either of our actions. We were both mentally unstable; two unstable people attempting to find solace in one another never ends well. Though of the two of us, after we broke things off, I was the worst between us and continuously put all the blame on him for how damaged my highschool reputation was (him having forced me to cut off all of my friends and isolating me as well as threatening suicide constantly) even as an adult, despite me having my own flaws as well (me foolishly sharing intimate secrets and images he sent me to my friends and ridiculing him for it). It's been years now. And I still hate myself for my behavior before, and he still hates himself for his behavior as well. We still talk, and we've been able to put it behind us and help one another with our own issues as of today. Though what happened in the past will always linger, no matter how much we choose to ignore it.
I keep having the urge to sing the ‘and if you leave me it will surely kill me’ in the high pitch and everything but 1 I can’t reach that pitch and 2 the voice dysphoria would be real (I’m ftm).. I love this song and band so much
I’m transmasc and one song that really helps me with that is Teddy Hyde’s “Amelie.” It gives me enough time between lyrics to get enough breath in and hit those low notes.
oleander has to be my favorite out of all of mother mothers songs, close second would be calm me down. eureka as an album has the best songs in my opinion.
This and Bit by Bit are probably my favorite Mother Mother songs so far since I started listening to em but THIS is the one I keep playing over and over
People are saying this is a song about abuse, meanwhile I saw it as someone singing about how they’ve form a bond with someone because they’re suicidal, and the lyrics “And if you leave me, rest assured it would kill me” meant that if the person left them, they’d kill themself because they’ve formed a trauma bond with that person. I still like interpreting it like that though since I do struggle with thoughts like that myself, and that im also quite close with a few people I can’t worth living for
now that I read the comments I think I relate to this song from the "wrong" side of it, it takes like so much effort not to get overly attached to people in a mutual assured destruction kinda way
Found oh Ana a couple years ago and I found this song about two weeks ago I love how much I’m getting out of this band, there’s songs for every mood and every taste that I have and I love it
This song is amazing. My take on it is that it (quite obviously) represents an abusive relationship, in which one person manipulates the singer into staying with them by blackmailing ("if you leave me, rest assured it would kill me") ie. They're using the threat of suicide as a means of getting the singer to stay with them. I'm guessing the abuser relies on the relationship for sexual pleasure ("i'll be unclean, i'll be obscene, you'll be the rest), while the singer tries to take care of the rest of the work that goes into the relationship. The next verse seems to be more from the singer's point of view; "im like a child in a sty" seems to be implying that they feel lost or out of place in a bad environment (ie. A dirty pig sty). It looks as though the singer tries a more aggressive approach with the abuser to try to get them to change their ways, show them how the singer is feeling, or try to get out of the relationship (i burned you right out, i burned your bible, you tried to cry, put on a smile). Another option is that it's talking about how the relationship is affecting the abuser. The abuser possibly has their own mental health issues, which seems to be implied though the "you tried to cry, put on a smile". "I burned you right out, I burned your bible", may mean something along the lines of the relationship being tiring to either party, and the bible bit may mean that something which is considered important by either person has been destroyed. The explanation for this verse may honestly apply to points of views of either of the people involved in the toxic relationship. Also, oleanders are really toxic flowers, which obviously symbolises the nature of their relationship or the nature of one of the people in the relationship ( or possibly both). Overall a really neat song with a lot of symbolism! Love it!
well, the singer seems to be the abuser so what we're hearing is the pov of the abuser, they usually use the guilt tripping tactics hence the "and if you leave me rest assured it would kill me" saying that they would kill themselves if the victim left them so that the victim stays
So that's because of the deep meaning of the song that people aren't allowed to use it for their animations ? Actually, I know what meaning is behind all of this, I know that some of you suffer and I understand your anger that someone made a thing with fictional characters and this, but do you have to forbid people to do it ? It's actually nicely done most of the time, and it's actually good when it fits the characters backstories. I don't think that the creator of that famous WC MAP wanted to hurt anyone, they just wanted to let their creativity go. In my opinion, it make some people aware of these kinds of these situations after they weren't aware of it. In any ways and especially if it is used wisely. So please, people that lived that, know that it must make you suffer that people make fictional kitties sing on this song and I am hoping y'all get better, but I am just stating my opinion, nothing else. Thanks for reading this (sloppy ?) comment, and hoping you'll understand it :)
Anyone ever hear/see the guy's TED talk? he's a frickin genius. Now, I don't like every one of their songs, but what baffles me is people who can't appreciate their music. Sure I can hear possible influences, but can't name one other band that sounds like them (and my music taste is extremely eclectic). And their progression is great. Art is supposed to be about the healing process, about growing, about evolving, not stagnating and dwelling on the same routine for ever. And that's exactly what happens with their music, there's a progression of ever deeper insight on life, a coming out of the dark into the light. If you want to remain in the dark your whole life, that's your prerogative. But I'd rather come to find myself having wrestled that power out of the darkness, that power that belongs to me (and you too), and stand triumphantly above it all. Much love to yall. keep plugging away.
While I've never been in a toxic *romantic* relationship, I had a toxic friend for about a year. We did SRPs despite him being an adult and me being a minor and I had to talk him down from suicide almost every night it felt. He would always be alive the next day, whether I succeeded or not. When I finally blocked him on discord, he made alt accounts with threatening names to send me friend requests. 'Talk to me, Crocus.' 'I know where you live.' That kind of shit. He's been out of my life for two or three years now, all the misplaced nostalgia I had before is finally gone, I see that relationship for the fucking mess it was. All I would say to him now is good riddance.
shit that sounds terrifying. i hope you're alright now. i felt a huge amount of stress reading this and it must of felt even worse for you who actually went through it. drink some water, have a nice meal and make sure you're sleeping enough and have a good day ^^
I could eat this song up, gosh I love it. Probably the main offenser of my phone telling me “you know if you wanna keep hearing this good you might wanna turn down the volume”
Oleander flowers can also symbolize destiny and understanding . It can show that you are sensitive to how other people feel and that you want to make peace in difficult situations. i think this song is about a person who has severe mood swings and lashes out at people but their partner (oleander) is there to help them through everything. and if oleander leaves, the person wont know what to do with themselves anymore. :)
I love how the first verse is in a high pitch, as if the person singing it was a child and not fully mature. Small details like that makes this song a whole lot better.
From my book, Floriography, An Illustrated Guide to The Victoria Language of flowers by Jessica Roux "The Victorian's assigned the meaning of "caution" to the oleander, perhaps because the plant is poisonous, but also because of its association with the Greek cautionary myth of Hero and Leander. The two were in love, and although they lived on opposite sides of the Hellespont Sea, Leander swam across it every night to visit Hero. One night, during a violent storm, Leander died while trying to swim to his love in the rough waters. When Hero saw Leander's body washed ashore, she called out "O, Leander! O, Leander!" and drowned herself to be with him in death."
Kate Sellick The entire song sounds like my moms relationship with me. I feel gross knowing I'm the physical embodiment of her hate and abuse with her husband. She constantly has to take care of me or I forget to eat, sleep or bath and just wallow in my filth. I wish I could change.
i'd like to think that they were the toxic ones, but i know that i'm the oleander. after all, the only thing that come from an oleander, is another oleander.
this hits close to home in the way where the singer is the abused.. the person theyre singing about found them when they were mentally unstable, helped them, and when they couldnt show signs of growth fast enough, that person dropped them without thought and the person singing is left even more tortured than before. although its from personal experience... please remember, if you cant have the patience to help an emotionally scarred person, PLEASE dont try. it only leaves the scarred more wounded.
this song is permanently imprinted onto my braincells, and that's not a complaint, this is probably my favorite song from Mother Mother (and that says a lot coming from someone as indecisive as me), i absolutely love this
This really hits hard for me, as someone who has had many people leave my life and as a result I've become really clingy, and I constantly worry that people will hate me/perceive me as toxic for it... "if you leave me, rest assured it would kill me" is exactly how I feel about so many people.
If you think you'll actually say that to someone, or worse, already did, please get professional help. Your traumatic past and mental disorder is not an excuse for emotionally abusing people. It's not about perception, it IS toxic. Your trauma does not excuse you causing others trauma. Just like the person that hurt, abused or traumatized can't.
I don't know WHAT it is but I've had this for years now. Like.. Every time I listen to this song it reminds me of some other song but I can't put my hand on which one. No matter what I just won't remember. Do you have an idea which one I could mean?
This song reminds me of my first relationship, man. Except I was the (unintentionally) toxic one. I regret it every day of my life, and the guilt was so overwhelming that I almost did something *really* bad to myself. Glad I'm able to be a better person from that, though
The orleander like another commenter said, represents young love. It's a flower that is so toxic that a single pedal can kill an adult, but is beautiful to look at
I think that the line “ im like a child in a sty, i play with fire, i burn you right out i burnt your bible, you tried to cry. Put on a smile.” Means that the abuser is destroying one of the victim’s most prized possessions ( seashell, neckalace, fake plant/tree etc, ) and saying it’ll be fine OR they are out in public and the abuser is just saying rude stuff under their breath, the victim can hear it and is hurt and on the verge of tears, the abuser acts all sweet then just is yelling at them in some private place
I hate that I've experienced both perspectives of this song. I was in two very toxic relationships back to back. The first one was when I was at a major low. I clung to one person for support, and drained the both of us like a leech. To this day I'm sorry for how much energy I must have taken from her. After that friendship fell apart, I ended up being manipulated into dating this other girl. She was constantly playing the victim and insisting that if I wasnt constantly looking at her that I didnt love her. I didn't even want to be in the relationship, it took me telling her three separate times that I didn't want to be with her for her to finally understand I was really gone. Love is shit. I want something healthy and a shower.
It's the sort of toxic relationship where one person takes on the role of the guardian; whose job is to entirely and completely care for the other person no matter what they're doing, and always side with them and take care of them no matter the cost, even if it hurts you, because you're their flower and they would do anything to protect their flower Exactly the type of relationship I had last time
@@likira111 well in this case, its the person demanding the protection, forcing (even if not directly) and manipulating their partner into this guardian/protector position by depending them completely, and demanding to be taken care of, lest they put themselves in danger and mess themselves up just so the guardian HAS to protect and care for their flower out of their love for the flower. The flower is not trying to be out of trouble so that the guardian won't need to hurt themselves trying to protect it, the flower is SEEKING trouble just so the guardian can show how devoted they are and the flower can feel truly loved in their own head.
It feels strange listening to this, being someone who has been on both sides of this type of relationship. BPD is a bitch. I was never really abusive myself, just... a l o t for my partner to handle, too much in fact. Which was.. reasonable. I've grown to be better at controlling myself but deep down? I feel like i'm always going to be an unfixable mess.
I just wished to share a story I created from this song. Basically, the character is called Nerium (like the first name of the flower Oleander), and she was born with her nails being toxic, which is weird, but yk... that is the thing I thought about, and the reason why I made it like that is because Oleanders are extremely poisoning, and if im not wrong, if you eat one you'll most probably die, so as a representation, her nails are the petals of the flower. Anyways, let's continue....In her story, her surroundings are as toxic (or even more) as her nails. At some point, she gets so tired of this enraging situation of exploitation and stress that she decides to rip off her nails (ouch) and make the people who made her feel guilty eat them. For the grand finale, she decides to eat one of her last nails to give a closure to herself, but she soon realizes that it doesn't have an effect on her at all. With a mix of rage, relief and regret she just thinks about what she's done and continues her life. Ta-da!!!
i just search randomly for the word "poisonous flower" and the word "oleander" appeared so i search it for it and found this song from the same band that make music "Back to school"
as a former parakeet owner, i can confirm that the squeaky noises in the beginning of this song gave me war flashbacks
Oh boy- my lovebird is freaking out 😔
Omg mood, my cockatiels started screaming even though I had headphones on! 😔
My condolences
@@samanthasoukup5852 Oh no, they're not dead. I just couldn't take care of them anymore (due to financial reasons.) Thanks for your concern though i guess
Oh god- I can only imagine. 😰
An Oleander is a flower that is toxic in all of its parts. I really like the symbolism in the song with the Toxic Oleander, which when you realize what an Oleander really is you can understand that the song is about someone Toxic.
I like this song because it reminds me of myself
So true.
@@alexmeade47 it- it what-
@@alexmeade47 that isnt smth you should just announce 😃😃
Warren Greene aren’t you the toxic person now?
I see people putting comments about the lyrics meaning and the different people in an abusive relationship, which I fully understand and think is a good way to perceive it. But when I first listened to the song I instantly thought it was from the perspective of an abuser.
So did I
@@boxdoesASMR yeah, and the high voice at the beginning is like a mask, because you can hear a deeper voice in the background which could be who the abuser really is
Yeah I think it's a person who KNOWS they're the abuser but also can't stop
@@-vhydra-1252 yeah, which I feel like makes it an even more meaningfull song
yeah same. the lyrics "white white leaves of an oleander, white like me" made me think its from the abusers pov because oleander is a toxic/poisonous shrub
the oleander is a flower that represents young love. it's also extremely toxic. do with that what you will, writers.
BYE cus someone on pinterest came up with an EPIC story idea about a small village and ppl living their lives, until ppl start mysteriously dying and everybody desperately investigates (imagine this taking place in a time before autopsies and stuff). Little do they know the killer happens to be the sweet old lady selling her honey cakes and treats with the honey from an oleander flower. THIS IS NOT MY ORIGINAL STORY BUT imagine this song being the main theme and playing at the ending or something and maybe add sum romance to make it more interesting....I think this story has a shitton of potential esp with a dark cottage core aesthetic or something
Being a "writer" myself, I truly wish that I couldve come up with the idea because I'm in love
@@dianalovesbagelss8029 it could be interesting without romance.
@@kukkameri4991 i agree
thank you my good friend.
Oh I’m gonna make so much angst material with this
Damn
This song hits differently when you were the person that heard "I'm gonna kill myself if you leave me" almost every week.
Fuck I thought the "if you leave me rest assured it would kill me" was just about how it's ok to need someone?
You good dude?
@@AyeshaNazir731 haha yeah I think so. I mean right now not exactly but because of different reasons 🤣
Kumkwat
Same situation- I hope you’re doing wayyy better dude
@@kittibird4464 can't say I'm in the place I wanted to be but I am slowly making my way and not having to fear for someone's life day after day is making everything better. Hope you are doing alright as well.
PSA for anyone reading this thread: if you feel something is wrong in your relationship/friendship etc and you know you are not able to fix it because, for example, you're not a therapist who knows how to deal with psychological shit, just break up. It's not going to be any better, no matter what you do. Your sacrifices won't even be recognised. Your health and safety is more important.
unpopular opinion: this is the most unrrated mother mother song. My favourite, tbh
Yes this one and Love And Truth
THIS. this song FEELS like it’s amazing & popular meanwhile nobody talks about it and it’s so weird
That opinion is so good though, I agree
Definitely my fave I've heard so far since I started listening to em recently, I've been driving my partner nuts in the car playing it over and over 😭
@@ikedaren_29336 wait so even the fans don't talk about this one???
I was once in a toxic relationship, where my ex was emotionally abusive and would talk about her cuts, and self harm. Whenever I would want to log off (we were internet gfs) she would threaten to kill herself, even if I had tests or if I was sick, so whenever I found this it hit me right in the feels. Now I just listen to it cause it's so good.
I had a friend like that too, I'm glad i got rid of him eventually.
Ooft, I went through something extremely similar with my ex at the start of last year, even worse he was in the same class as me. Guilt tripping is never good, I hope you're okay because I know how traumatising it can be
Glad that shes just your ex now, stay strong, friend. Im in a relationship like that right now, I have no words to confess how lost and scared I am
finn's garden I’ve had one like that too. I’m not so sure about him now. He’s not really there anymore, and I hate to say that I’m glad. I’m tired of all of the fake suicides he’d announce. He’s only done an attempt once and the rest are just lies for attention.
I had a girlfriend that would physically and emotionally abuse me. She would always punch, bite, kick, pinch, scratch, you name it. She would also tell me I'm weird for having mental health problems and said I was psychotic, I believed her because I relied on her to tell me the truth. It fucking sucks going through that shit. Not only that though, she had the same issues and would guilt trip me into not breaking up with her by lying about awful things that happened to her... My mental health has suffered greatly from that experience
i have dxed bpd, while i don’t consider myself to be abusive and try to never (at least outwardly) express things like “ill die if you leave me” or any other manipulative bs, this song is sooo cathartic since i do feel like the lyrics are at least thoughts ive had but never (and won’t) expressed to ppl in my life.
i obviously interpret the song to be from an abusers perspective
OMG SAME ❤❤❤❤
you get it
Yes
I think of the 'ill die if you leave me" as me getting numb without the person
I have BPD as well but Elevated BPD, 👀
yep I agree!! and when she did leave me that’s when it got messy 🙁
This song is told by pov of the abuser, an Oleander is a toxic flower that takes a lot of care to keep alive when not in the wild, kind of like the relationship in this song.
I knew about oleanders being toxic but not about how they're difficult to take care of, thank you for sharing that
this sounds more like toxic codependency than abuse imo
@azulizachan7595 Oleanders are very drought-tolerant once established, but respond well to occasional deep watering.
In the song, there were two vocals, one high and one low, the higher toned may be a mask for the abuser, making as though he's the good guy, but going further into the song, the "mask" voice slowly disappears (or well, fades out) symbolising that the abuser is revealing their true appearance. But I don't know, I might be overthinking, sorry for the weird English, not my mother tongue
No the English was perfect I actually thought it was better then mine and It’s my first language 😭
this makes sm sense
your english is perfect!
“Not my mother tongue” *Continues to type better than 90% of all native speakers*
This song hits me in the feels. Yikes. Ive been the abused and the abuser and either way it makes me cry.
you okay?
boot sector infector I made this 30
my abuser asked me to abuse him. shit fuckn sucked bruh.
@@laperra5542
“Boot sector infector”😂😭
@@Kay-ph6fx lmaoo shut uppaudsasdb
I can't quite tell if this song is sung from the point of view of the abuser or the victim. Can anyone tell me?
Cranberry the Cat i feel like its from the abusers perspective having a huge realization about what theyve done
I agree with these two. A common manipulation tactic is to prevent the victim from escaping their abuse by making them feel like if they were to leave the abuser would kill themself, and no one wants to be responsible for that. The abuser is often times very dependent on the victim, needing their support to stay afloat.
It's my opinion that it's the victim, but I could be wrong. I think it's open to interpretation.
Cranberry the Cat What if it’s both
Honestly I think it was sung from the POV of both the abuser and the victim due to in the song you can hear two voices simultaneously
Has anyone noticed that the songs all transition from one to another? From getaway to far in time to this song, for example
Ikr! I just noiticed
YES it's amazing
No, that kinda interesting
Yeah, the last sound of Far in Time transitions to this uvu
A lot of artists bleed one song into another for a better album listening experience
You stood beside me when I was out of my mind
I broke the glass, and you were there to sweep it aside
And if you leave me, rest assured it would kill me
I make a mess and you'll be there to help me undress
I'll be unclean, I'll be obscene, you'll be the rest
And if you leave me, rest assured it would kill me
Like an oleander
White white leaves, of an oleander
White like me
I'm like a child in a sty
I play with vile
I burn you right out, I burned your bible
You tried to cry, put on a smile
And if you leave me rest assured it would kill me
Rest assured if you leave
Like an oleander
White white leaves, of an oleander
White like me
Of the oleander
White white leaves of an oleander
White like me
A lot of this is incorrect, no offence.
@@iclynnx Nope, if you google the lyrics all of this looks the same as the official lyrics.
@@havesomehotcocoa8076 doesn’t stop it from being wrong and it not including all of the lyrics :/
@@bluwhal3500 The official lyrics are literally exactly this. The song sounds like this. I don't know what is incorrect or missing from it. If I'm wrong please correct me but from what I can see nothing is wrong here.
@My third autistic Nipple okay then, which ones are incorrect?
How is it actually possible to dislike this song
I’ve been a mother mother fan for years and I absolutely love this song. I got a kitten last week and when deciding names we wanted something elegant and nature themed. When we saw Oleander we knew it was right. It wasn’t until I was getting ready one morning when this song turned on and I freaked out. This is official his theme song. I love the fact we unintentionally named him after this song
Song with a meaning: *exists*
Warrior Cats Fandom: Allow us to introduce ourselves
It's a pretty deep series
Long Fork wait a warriors map on this song? Lmao never seen it
It was pretty cool oof
as a long time mother mother fan, i go oof
im in the warriors fandom too but its kinda depressing that the only songs that get a few views are because of the warriors fans commenting and watching
like ok, if you came here from the map thats ok but please do y'all have anything to say... about the song, rather than where you came from..?
I like both but I mean my favourite song by them isn’t really noticed at all :,(
MOTHER MOTHER HAS SOMETHING FOR SINGING ABOUT TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, BUT I LIKE IT
the best mother mother song imo
Mood
Ur right
For some reason this brought back memories of Nirvana....
Ikr
Same
How? As far as I know no one is able to return from Nirvana.
I swear you the first time I listened to this a thought "Is this smells like teen spirit?" the first seconds it is pretty much similar
@@175strawberries I mean only the guitar part reminds me smells like teen spirit
You stood beside
Me while I
Was out of my mind
I broke the glass
And you were there
To sweep it aside
And if you leave me
Rest assured, it would kill me
I make a mess
And you'll be there
To help me undress
I'll be unclean
I'll be obscene
You'll be the rest
And if you leave me
Rest assured, it would kill me
Like an oleander
White, white leaves
Of an oleander
White, like me
I'm like a child
In a sty
I play with fire
I burn you right out
I burned your bible
You tried to cry
Put on a smile
no offence it says white, white leaves not white like me
@@misopo0 it actually says white like me after of an oleander!
Man, this song hits home when you're slowly learning to understand you're an abuse victim who's abuser manipulated and taught you you were the abuser. It's all confusing, it hurts. Be careful dating when you've got BPD, yo, because it becomes real easy for mentally healthy women to prey on ya when you're broken down and already hate yourself enough for your symptoms. I took her gaslighting as absolute truth because, well, I was the borderline, I had to be wrong.
Man that sucks. I've got APD, and it's impossible to break out of the people-pleasing habits... Fear of judgement and wrong-doing is just so powerful.
Felt :( my longest 2 relationships were like that and i just got out of one , the wound is fresh .
Quiet BPD here, it's genuinely sad that people can't possibly fathom us at the victims. I've been in multiple abusive relationships in the past, none were romantic but Im aro so that is a given. I was young and dumb and gullible and these people I had hyperfixated on for most of my time with them, and they took that as an advantage. I'm so glad I got out of there.
@@radarcore2125 im so glad you're doing better now, that sucks
It really is sad how people with BPD (and other mental illnesses!) are framed as being abusers when they so often are victims of abuse themselves. :(
I just realized that the very last note of the song makes this song incredibly good at instantly looping the song endlessly if you cut out the couple seconds of silence afterwards. Is this a coincidence or is it a hidden meaning to the symbolism of the song?
Meaning probably a constant loop of toxic realationships would.cuase someone to stay in the role of "the oleander" after long enougu
yeah! and the lyrics change as well from start to middle of the song. it says at the start: "i broke the glass and you WERE there to sweep it aside" but during the middle it becomes more demanding, as they say "i made a mess and you'll BE there to help me undress.", which makes the manipulative relationship even more evident, as the manipulator expects the victim to help them
"Hehe haha nice song let's check the comments"
"Youwch that's enough reflecting for me"
J'aime Mother mother
Moi aussi
oe moi aussi posé
@@youx.mp4 Vous aime meré meré
Moi aussi :)
Moi aussi!
I thank my ex for introducing me to this amazing band, however, I can relate with the lyrics:
Our relationship became toxic and codependent after the last... Idk six months, we were both abusers and victims, we would threat each other with leaving or killing ourselves, at some point he would forbid me from wearing lots of makeup, skirts, dresses and even doing my hair, he would get mad if I talk to one of my guy friends, but I couldn't feel bad when I saw him treating his ex girlfriends better than me
We never really picked fights, but one day at a party, we yelled at each other (can't remember why), and I wanted to leave, so when I turned around, he grabbed my arm saying "YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" when I asked why, he said because he needed me...
We broke up almost two years ago, and even though I still kinda look after him (especially for his anxiety, epilepsy and several attempts of suicide), I'm glad I set myself free
I know this is old, but I've had a similar relationship back in my teenage years where both me and my partner were simultaneously the abusive and abused in our relationship. Both of us came from terrible backgrounds, him having just escaped an abusive relationship and my dealing with parental abuse and being a runaway, so it made sense why we behaved the way that we did, though that doesn't excuse either of our actions. We were both mentally unstable; two unstable people attempting to find solace in one another never ends well. Though of the two of us, after we broke things off, I was the worst between us and continuously put all the blame on him for how damaged my highschool reputation was (him having forced me to cut off all of my friends and isolating me as well as threatening suicide constantly) even as an adult, despite me having my own flaws as well (me foolishly sharing intimate secrets and images he sent me to my friends and ridiculing him for it). It's been years now. And I still hate myself for my behavior before, and he still hates himself for his behavior as well. We still talk, and we've been able to put it behind us and help one another with our own issues as of today. Though what happened in the past will always linger, no matter how much we choose to ignore it.
I keep having the urge to sing the ‘and if you leave me it will surely kill me’ in the high pitch and everything but 1 I can’t reach that pitch and 2 the voice dysphoria would be real (I’m ftm).. I love this song and band so much
It hits very close to home my guy-
A big oof
I’m transmasc and one song that really helps me with that is Teddy Hyde’s “Amelie.” It gives me enough time between lyrics to get enough breath in and hit those low notes.
@@serious_salt22 thank you! (to add to that, Maroon 5 because they’re guys and can hit high notes idk helps me)
I FEEL THAT SINGING DYSPHORIA SO MUCH man. SO many of their songs are amazing but hit that higher range and OOF.
i found this song years ago and it was the first mother mother song i’d ever heard - now i’m a huge fan of them and this is still my favorite song :)
Sameee
the parts where they say oleander have got to be the best beat my ears have ever had the pleasure of hearing
Jasmin's vocals in this are INSANE 😱
oleander has to be my favorite out of all of mother mothers songs, close second would be calm me down. eureka as an album has the best songs in my opinion.
I totally agree, o my heart is a close second tho
I was surprised someone was playing this song at a party I went to, now I’m attach to it
This and Bit by Bit are probably my favorite Mother Mother songs so far since I started listening to em but THIS is the one I keep playing over and over
2:10 to the end is my faaaaavorite part 😍😍😍
I love this song because of the plant. But the second I look it up it's just- "CoViD 19 CuRe?"
me- No... it's poison
@owo lmao
some toxic compounds _can_ have medical use in the right doseage
By far one of the best songs. Never gets old. Always has a place in my heart and gives me the chills.
People are saying this is a song about abuse, meanwhile I saw it as someone singing about how they’ve form a bond with someone because they’re suicidal, and the lyrics “And if you leave me, rest assured it would kill me” meant that if the person left them, they’d kill themself because they’ve formed a trauma bond with that person.
I still like interpreting it like that though since I do struggle with thoughts like that myself, and that im also quite close with a few people I can’t worth living for
now that I read the comments I think I relate to this song from the "wrong" side of it, it takes like so much effort not to get overly attached to people in a mutual assured destruction kinda way
i always get chills listening to this, it’s THAT good
Found oh Ana a couple years ago and I found this song about two weeks ago I love how much I’m getting out of this band, there’s songs for every mood and every taste that I have and I love it
This song is amazing.
My take on it is that it (quite obviously) represents an abusive relationship, in which one person manipulates the singer into staying with them by blackmailing ("if you leave me, rest assured it would kill me") ie. They're using the threat of suicide as a means of getting the singer to stay with them. I'm guessing the abuser relies on the relationship for sexual pleasure ("i'll be unclean, i'll be obscene, you'll be the rest), while the singer tries to take care of the rest of the work that goes into the relationship. The next verse seems to be more from the singer's point of view; "im like a child in a sty" seems to be implying that they feel lost or out of place in a bad environment (ie. A dirty pig sty). It looks as though the singer tries a more aggressive approach with the abuser to try to get them to change their ways, show them how the singer is feeling, or try to get out of the relationship (i burned you right out, i burned your bible, you tried to cry, put on a smile). Another option is that it's talking about how the relationship is affecting the abuser. The abuser possibly has their own mental health issues, which seems to be implied though the "you tried to cry, put on a smile". "I burned you right out, I burned your bible", may mean something along the lines of the relationship being tiring to either party, and the bible bit may mean that something which is considered important by either person has been destroyed. The explanation for this verse may honestly apply to points of views of either of the people involved in the toxic relationship. Also, oleanders are really toxic flowers, which obviously symbolises the nature of their relationship or the nature of one of the people in the relationship ( or possibly both).
Overall a really neat song with a lot of symbolism! Love it!
Really nice theory!
well, the singer seems to be the abuser so what we're hearing is the pov of the abuser, they usually use the guilt tripping tactics hence the "and if you leave me rest assured it would kill me" saying that they would kill themselves if the victim left them so that the victim stays
I am pretty sure the singer is the abuser lol
So that's because of the deep meaning of the song that people aren't allowed to use it for their animations ?
Actually, I know what meaning is behind all of this, I know that some of you suffer and I understand your anger that someone made a thing with fictional characters and this, but do you have to forbid people to do it ? It's actually nicely done most of the time, and it's actually good when it fits the characters backstories. I don't think that the creator of that famous WC MAP wanted to hurt anyone, they just wanted to let their creativity go. In my opinion, it make some people aware of these kinds of these situations after they weren't aware of it. In any ways and especially if it is used wisely. So please, people that lived that, know that it must make you suffer that people make fictional kitties sing on this song and I am hoping y'all get better, but I am just stating my opinion, nothing else.
Thanks for reading this (sloppy ?) comment, and hoping you'll understand it :)
this is literally a fact. nobody can say what you can and can't make with this song
And it's because of that Map that I found this amazing song! If anything there just helping to make it more known!
Thank you for pointing this out!
yea ive actually met her a bit i was in one of her maps she wouldnt mean to hurt so many people
PREACH
Anyone ever hear/see the guy's TED talk? he's a frickin genius. Now, I don't like every one of their songs, but what baffles me is people who can't appreciate their music. Sure I can hear possible influences, but can't name one other band that sounds like them (and my music taste is extremely eclectic). And their progression is great. Art is supposed to be about the healing process, about growing, about evolving, not stagnating and dwelling on the same routine for ever. And that's exactly what happens with their music, there's a progression of ever deeper insight on life, a coming out of the dark into the light. If you want to remain in the dark your whole life, that's your prerogative. But I'd rather come to find myself having wrestled that power out of the darkness, that power that belongs to me (and you too), and stand triumphantly above it all. Much love to yall. keep plugging away.
OMG my friend showed me this song she said it would be something I like and omg yes I love it!
loving p much everything ive come across from this band , so glad to have stumbled upon them
this has been my favourite song for 4 years
While I've never been in a toxic *romantic* relationship, I had a toxic friend for about a year. We did SRPs despite him being an adult and me being a minor and I had to talk him down from suicide almost every night it felt. He would always be alive the next day, whether I succeeded or not. When I finally blocked him on discord, he made alt accounts with threatening names to send me friend requests. 'Talk to me, Crocus.' 'I know where you live.' That kind of shit. He's been out of my life for two or three years now, all the misplaced nostalgia I had before is finally gone, I see that relationship for the fucking mess it was. All I would say to him now is good riddance.
shit that sounds terrifying. i hope you're alright now. i felt a huge amount of stress reading this and it must of felt even worse for you who actually went through it. drink some water, have a nice meal and make sure you're sleeping enough and have a good day ^^
I could eat this song up, gosh I love it. Probably the main offenser of my phone telling me “you know if you wanna keep hearing this good you might wanna turn down the volume”
Oleander flowers can also symbolize destiny and understanding . It can show that you are sensitive to how other people feel and that you want to make peace in difficult situations. i think this song is about a person who has severe mood swings and lashes out at people but their partner (oleander) is there to help them through everything. and if oleander leaves, the person wont know what to do with themselves anymore. :)
I love how the first verse is in a high pitch, as if the person singing it was a child and not fully mature. Small details like that makes this song a whole lot better.
Eureka is my everything and this song I cant describe with words how much I love it aaaa
From my book, Floriography, An Illustrated Guide to The Victoria Language of flowers by Jessica Roux
"The Victorian's assigned the meaning of "caution" to the oleander, perhaps because the plant is poisonous, but also because of its association with the Greek cautionary myth of Hero and Leander. The two were in love, and although they lived on opposite sides of the Hellespont Sea, Leander swam across it every night to visit Hero. One night, during a violent storm, Leander died while trying to swim to his love in the rough waters. When Hero saw Leander's body washed ashore, she called out "O, Leander! O, Leander!" and drowned herself to be with him in death."
Cool! I'll try to check out your book!
ok but
oleander>hayloft
AGREED hayloft is overrated asf this song is honestly epic tho
I think hayloft is good, but at the same time you are right, Oleander (personally also problems and chasing it down) are better :D
YESSS
The first three lines sound exactly like the relationship between myself and my best friend. Which is honestly terrifying.
Kate Sellick yikes
Kate Sellick if a song about manipulation makes you think of one of your own relationships. jinkies
zoinks!
Kate Sellick The entire song sounds like my moms relationship with me. I feel gross knowing I'm the physical embodiment of her hate and abuse with her husband. She constantly has to take care of me or I forget to eat, sleep or bath and just wallow in my filth. I wish I could change.
that's strong... i really hope you to get better.
AMO OLEANDER💟
i'd like to think that they were the toxic ones, but i know that i'm the oleander. after all, the only thing that come from an oleander, is another oleander.
This is my favourite song from this album. i love the chorus
Yess it finally reached 1 million views
I am probably responsible for most of them
this hits close to home in the way where the singer is the abused.. the person theyre singing about found them when they were mentally unstable, helped them, and when they couldnt show signs of growth fast enough, that person dropped them without thought and the person singing is left even more tortured than before. although its from personal experience... please remember, if you cant have the patience to help an emotionally scarred person, PLEASE dont try. it only leaves the scarred more wounded.
this song is permanently imprinted onto my braincells, and that's not a complaint, this is probably my favorite song from Mother Mother (and that says a lot coming from someone as indecisive as me), i absolutely love this
I love this song so much,
I named my cat after this song who recently had passed away❤️ i’ll always love mother mother so much
when theyre an oleander but ur an oleander hawk moth 😳😳😳😳
this is so cool sounding!!! i love it so much
this song reminded me of my past with this very toxic person, they constantly made feel like shit and it was horrible
My new favorite song
This, hay loft and oh Ana ARE LITERALLY THE BEST SONGS I-
Excuse me- Ghosting? Body? Problems?
@@christinevu5260 what-?
@@kkcat1004 those the names of other amazing Mother Mother songs!
listen to more unknown songs they are so much better try wisdom, or even burning pile!!
This hits even harder if you've had this kind of relationship with a parent.
This really hits hard for me, as someone who has had many people leave my life and as a result I've become really clingy, and I constantly worry that people will hate me/perceive me as toxic for it... "if you leave me, rest assured it would kill me" is exactly how I feel about so many people.
If you think you'll actually say that to someone, or worse, already did, please get professional help. Your traumatic past and mental disorder is not an excuse for emotionally abusing people. It's not about perception, it IS toxic.
Your trauma does not excuse you causing others trauma. Just like the person that hurt, abused or traumatized can't.
ART
I’m here from ThistleclawxSnowfur MAP, and yes, indeed, this is my new favorite song 🌚✨
This was my first mother mother song i stumbled upon. Still as good even after 5 years!
I don't know WHAT it is but I've had this for years now.
Like.. Every time I listen to this song it reminds me of some other song but I can't put my hand on which one.
No matter what I just won't remember.
Do you have an idea which one I could mean?
@@175strawberries - Yeah, Smells like Teen Spirit comes to mind for me
This song reminds me of my first relationship, man. Except I was the (unintentionally) toxic one. I regret it every day of my life, and the guilt was so overwhelming that I almost did something *really* bad to myself. Glad I'm able to be a better person from that, though
The orleander like another commenter said, represents young love. It's a flower that is so toxic that a single pedal can kill an adult, but is beautiful to look at
This song gives me studio killers meets nashimoto-p.
Thank you boyfriend to death fandom for introducing me to this song.. now im hooked
Idk if anyone else relates, but this song makes me think of my mom
I think that the line “ im like a child in a sty, i play with fire, i burn you right out i burnt your bible, you tried to cry. Put on a smile.” Means that the abuser is destroying one of the victim’s most prized possessions ( seashell, neckalace, fake plant/tree etc, ) and saying it’ll be fine OR they are out in public and the abuser is just saying rude stuff under their breath, the victim can hear it and is hurt and on the verge of tears, the abuser acts all sweet then just is yelling at them in some private place
I hate that I've experienced both perspectives of this song.
I was in two very toxic relationships back to back. The first one was when I was at a major low. I clung to one person for support, and drained the both of us like a leech. To this day I'm sorry for how much energy I must have taken from her.
After that friendship fell apart, I ended up being manipulated into dating this other girl. She was constantly playing the victim and insisting that if I wasnt constantly looking at her that I didnt love her. I didn't even want to be in the relationship, it took me telling her three separate times that I didn't want to be with her for her to finally understand I was really gone.
Love is shit. I want something healthy and a shower.
I feel the same, friend
oh wow they do transition nicely into each other
on one hand oleanders are poisonous flowers ☠ on the other hand they simbolize destiny, understanding and high sensitivity and empathy
the last part 2:36 - the end gives me vibes of like a person breaking a bunch of things in a room, just destroying it for some reason
It's the sort of toxic relationship where one person takes on the role of the guardian; whose job is to entirely and completely care for the other person no matter what they're doing, and always side with them and take care of them no matter the cost, even if it hurts you, because you're their flower and they would do anything to protect their flower
Exactly the type of relationship I had last time
I'm dumb, who's the flower?
@@likira111 well in this case, its the person demanding the protection, forcing (even if not directly) and manipulating their partner into this guardian/protector position by depending them completely, and demanding to be taken care of, lest they put themselves in danger and mess themselves up just so the guardian HAS to protect and care for their flower out of their love for the flower. The flower is not trying to be out of trouble so that the guardian won't need to hurt themselves trying to protect it, the flower is SEEKING trouble just so the guardian can show how devoted they are and the flower can feel truly loved in their own head.
@@likira111 i now notice i messed up my wording on the first comment lol, sorry
No idea what the lyrics are (I have problems understanding song lyrics in English) but it sounds really nice and I like it
If it helps I’ll explain the song! It’s in the Point of View of the abuser in a toxic relationship
Still my favourite album
The drums are amazing!
It feels strange listening to this, being someone who has been on both sides of this type of relationship. BPD is a bitch.
I was never really abusive myself, just... a l o t for my partner to handle, too much in fact. Which was.. reasonable. I've grown to be better at controlling myself but deep down? I feel like i'm always going to be an unfixable mess.
2:09 HER VOICE HERE PLEASEEEEEEEE
My fav mm song! Its so underrated i think
Beautiful! I haven’t been interested to this album but this is changing my mind
damn dude that's very good
pinche canción espectacular
One of favourite songs ❤
Hey the one part in this song sounds like the same as in Baby Boy in No Culture!
I thought I was the only one who heard that lol
kaitlynm56 i made this 30
love how this reminds me of my parents😃
Same brother
Hehe that’s my name
You now have the world's best name
Change my mind
muy buena cancion
I just wished to share a story I created from this song.
Basically, the character is called Nerium (like the first name of the flower Oleander), and she was born with her nails being toxic, which is weird, but yk... that is the thing I thought about, and the reason why I made it like that is because Oleanders are extremely poisoning, and if im not wrong, if you eat one you'll most probably die, so as a representation, her nails are the petals of the flower. Anyways, let's continue....In her story, her surroundings are as toxic (or even more) as her nails. At some point, she gets so tired of this enraging situation of exploitation and stress that she decides to rip off her nails (ouch) and make the people who made her feel guilty eat them. For the grand finale, she decides to eat one of her last nails to give a closure to herself, but she soon realizes that it doesn't have an effect on her at all. With a mix of rage, relief and regret she just thinks about what she's done and continues her life. Ta-da!!!
i just search randomly for the word "poisonous flower" and the word "oleander" appeared so i search it for it and found this song from the same band that make music "Back to school"
/dad voice/ so uh. boyfriend to death, huh?
… I feel called out
@@Nobodyknobodysame…