Even Teachers Can’t Do New Math. Mike Toomey - Full Special

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  • Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
  • Even teachers can't do new math and Mike Toomey thinks it's pretty ridiculous. How old were your kids when you could no longer help them with their math homework? Whether it's new math or just plain craziness Mike Tommey's full Dry Bar Comedy special is here to keep you laughing from start to finish.
    If you enjoyed this full Dry Bar Comedy special from Mike Toomey, be sure to check out the links blow for even more Dry Bar Comedy specials you might enjoy!
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Комментарии • 693

  • @edgarflores5569
    @edgarflores5569 3 года назад +203

    This guy was amazing! The narrator voice was flawless, and the "cheap trick" punchline was arguably THE BEST joke on the show, yet people merely reacted to it.
    In my humble opinion HE KILLED!

    • @donaldtavares9957
      @donaldtavares9957 3 года назад +10

      That cheap trick was hilarious, but it did go over the head of the audience...

    • @dcgameronline6999
      @dcgameronline6999 3 года назад +4

      How is it humble if you say your humble

    • @edgarflores5569
      @edgarflores5569 3 года назад +1

      @@dcgameronline6999 'Cause I know his comedy is better than mine and I'm stating it. Go annoy your nanny

    • @dcgameronline6999
      @dcgameronline6999 3 года назад +2

      @@edgarflores5569 what is a nanny

    • @dcgameronline6999
      @dcgameronline6999 3 года назад +1

      @@edgarflores5569 Go look up the definition of humble.

  • @LadyVoldemort
    @LadyVoldemort 3 года назад +45

    *Careful Bill...it's the devil!*
    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Laughed so hard...

    • @whirlhoof5117
      @whirlhoof5117 3 года назад +1

      Omg I spit my tea out that was so funny and spot-on ! 😂😂

    • @thereallinnz9407
      @thereallinnz9407 2 года назад +5

      When he said "too bad for Bill" 😂😂😂🤦

    • @stefs3460
      @stefs3460 2 года назад +2

      I snorted when I laughed and cried laughing so hard! 🤣

    • @GabrielaChaves-gy7jo
      @GabrielaChaves-gy7jo 4 месяца назад +1

      I laughed way to hard😭🤣

  • @carolynnowak3823
    @carolynnowak3823 3 года назад +102

    When I was young I was in the hospital. My mom came to visit me and brought me a box of Captain Crunch. She usually only bought no name cereal. I assumed it meant I was dying!

    • @factsoverfiction7826
      @factsoverfiction7826 3 года назад +12

      Omg, the Cap'n was brought in to consult on your case ... that's a Mother's love.

    • @davianabel3381
      @davianabel3381 3 года назад +2

      i dont mean to be so off topic but does any of you know of a way to log back into an instagram account?
      I stupidly forgot the account password. I appreciate any help you can offer me.

    • @aronernesto423
      @aronernesto423 3 года назад +2

      @Davian Abel Instablaster ;)

    • @jacobshort6528
      @jacobshort6528 2 года назад +2

      @@davianabel3381 Here is a really analog method to remember your passwords: Write them down on paper in a spiral bound notebook! You would be surprised at how well this works! Good luck!

    • @ChancetheCanine
      @ChancetheCanine 2 года назад +1

      Carolyn 😂😂😂

  • @ACJacksongoingoneup
    @ACJacksongoingoneup 3 года назад +117

    In my humble opinion, this guy is top 10 I've seen on Dry Bar. That Bill bit had me crying 😂

    • @MsJENelson
      @MsJENelson 3 года назад +3

      Let me know your Top 10 thanks

    • @Username-tz9ud
      @Username-tz9ud 3 года назад +1

      @@MsJENelson bike locks should be illegal #1

    • @jacobcash6067
      @jacobcash6067 3 года назад +1

      @@Username-tz9ud Hmm...why? What did the entirety of bike locks do to you lol?

    • @Username-tz9ud
      @Username-tz9ud 3 года назад +1

      @@jacobcash6067 it’s the name of my top favorite comedy show

    • @jacobcash6067
      @jacobcash6067 3 года назад +1

      @@Username-tz9ud Ahhh, gotcha... I completely overlooked the ' #1 ' I guess bc it was on a separate line lol... no sleep in 54 hours will do things to ya lolol but that's what happens when you travel for a living

  • @tlworkman
    @tlworkman 3 года назад +295

    That bus driver candy joke was solid. Great job and holy cow on the memorization!

    • @PalaminoHills
      @PalaminoHills 3 года назад +3

      Pp pp p]0ppp

    • @globetrekker86
      @globetrekker86 3 года назад +25

      @Thida Lynda: His mannerisms had me rofl’ing! That driver sounds like Tim Meadows’ character, Leon Phelps

    • @jnorway7295
      @jnorway7295 3 года назад +8

      Hilarious! 🤣

    • @tlworkman
      @tlworkman 3 года назад +8

      @@globetrekker86 Hahah, yes, totally!

    • @LilJBoi2
      @LilJBoi2 3 года назад +5

      I said the same thing I’m like what’s up with these ads

  • @jefftamura1688
    @jefftamura1688 3 года назад +157

    This really hit home. My daughters are 13 and 17. I’ve been helping them with their math homework since the beginning. Now I can’t remember how to do math like algebra, trig etc. So I fake it, google it, bought a trig/ calculus dvd...etc. They still think I’m smart! Fingers crossed!

    • @happycook6737
      @happycook6737 3 года назад +22

      I love Kahn Academy. It is a free website and has recorded lessons of teachers. So I can look up specific math topics and see them taught. 😀 In fact there are lessons on so many subject areas. Love it!

    • @LeifJaredson
      @LeifJaredson Месяц назад

      Yeah, but we don't

  • @tomfoolery5526
    @tomfoolery5526 3 года назад +703

    My dad used to stare at my homework for a few painful minutes before we both realize it was time to move on R.I.P dad!

    • @paperclips4113
      @paperclips4113 3 года назад +31

      Tom Foolery - awesome tribute. Wish I had a dad like yours. Ever...😶😎😶 please be grateful that you had that! Contributed to your being...cooooooo

    • @versachithekid8538
      @versachithekid8538 3 года назад +11

      ❤️

    • @bigdikhurtz
      @bigdikhurtz 3 года назад +9

      Rip.....😇

    • @shellswetrick3395
      @shellswetrick3395 3 года назад +10

      I was the same with my kids.
      Mommy will you help me? I look and just stare lol

    • @deadguy775
      @deadguy775 3 года назад +13

      Mine had the Bill Engvall reaction. “When did they start putting the alphabet in math?!”

  • @Sassysipe
    @Sassysipe 3 года назад +110

    ROFL LOVED the candy call out during bus ride.

  • @KManwarren
    @KManwarren 3 года назад +82

    This guys impersonations are so good.

  • @Cartier_specialist
    @Cartier_specialist 3 года назад +55

    I had a defective phone with GPS once. It didn't give me any directions at all until I arrived at my destination and then it said "you have arrived".

    • @paperclips4113
      @paperclips4113 3 года назад +2

      @ghogue61 😂 that happened to ME TOO!

    • @lorriejones8064
      @lorriejones8064 3 года назад +9

      My GPS actually told me "You can walk the rest of the distance to your location."
      What???

    • @paperclips4113
      @paperclips4113 3 года назад +5

      @@lorriejones8064 😵😂🤭🤔😂😂😂

    • @Gasp7000
      @Gasp7000 3 года назад +2

      That was screenshot-able.

    • @toadaytomorrow8029
      @toadaytomorrow8029 2 года назад +1

      @@paperclips4113 I literally laughed out loud after I read your comment. Thank you!

  • @momisntmyname2205
    @momisntmyname2205 3 года назад +34

    OMG put that candy rap to a beat! LMAO 😂🤣

  • @tomfoolery5526
    @tomfoolery5526 3 года назад +60

    OMG He is hilarious and it just builds into the other parts of the sets. Really enjoyed this. Thank you so much.

  • @SmartCatDad
    @SmartCatDad 3 года назад +347

    My Dad had the opposite problem. He couldn't dumb down his math skills enough to help me with high school algebra.

    • @paperclips4113
      @paperclips4113 3 года назад +10

      @Sherman Cater - That's probably bc you are a common core kid. Lol

    • @SmartCatDad
      @SmartCatDad 3 года назад +16

      @@paperclips4113 I missed that by a few years. I was a "New Math" kid.
      I should probably clarify, I'm talking about the Tom Lehrer New Math.

    • @minttea1966
      @minttea1966 3 года назад +37

      And they teach the kids that the world would end if they didnt take the 47 extra steps to get to the same answer old math did in 3 steps😂🤣😂🤣

    • @paperclips4113
      @paperclips4113 3 года назад +13

      @@minttea1966 YES! Awful! The answer does not matter. They want them to show the steps in a particular form. They want them to think and articulate their thinking-process! It's crazy!

    • @ThereIsNoOtherHandleLikeMine
      @ThereIsNoOtherHandleLikeMine 2 года назад +17

      @@minttea1966 Ain't that the truth! I told my kids to forget all the new math crap, and just use standard math. I only wanted to know that he got the right answer. I don't care about all the extra steps. New math is a waste of time. Literally.

  • @Databyter
    @Databyter 3 года назад +152

    Don't feel bad for not understanding the point of "new math" methods" The reason people have trouble with them is because they are trying to work out why you would approach a simple problem from such a convoluted strategy. New Math has thrown out the baby with the bathwater to teach a few almost useless tricks, while ignoring the foundation and principles which allow them to make sense. I will put my old math against anybody's new math any day of the week, and I'll do it all in my head. Most new math victims can't figure out simple sums because they don't have a scratch paper and fifteen tables to complicate what would otherwise be common sense. Databyter

    • @Evilrose0611
      @Evilrose0611 3 года назад +12

      Long multiplication and division in my head everyday when I need to math something out. My teachers in grade school used to get mad at me for not showing my work with the little graphics they wanted.

    • @dennisgumm7016
      @dennisgumm7016 3 года назад +4

      They have been changing math every 15 / 20 years since I was in school. Manufactured generation gap. Why listen to a parent's advice on any subject?? Dummies can't even do simple math.

    • @ThereIsNoOtherHandleLikeMine
      @ThereIsNoOtherHandleLikeMine 2 года назад +8

      @@Evilrose0611 To heII with those stupld graphics.
      My physics prof got mad too. I told him that since 3 semesters of Calculus is a requirement to get in the class, I can do this stuff in my head!
      You don't have time to do those stupld graphics on physics tests. You need to know this stuff cold.

    • @toomessy
      @toomessy 2 года назад +5

      Absolutely agree! I went from going to math competitions every year, to straight up failing any mathematical exam. The transition from middle school to high school was TOUGH for me. New math isn't for everyone, and that was something I had to force myself to understand. The moment they started putting letters in mathematics, that's when it started becoming difficult for me.

    • @rjh1226
      @rjh1226 Год назад +5

      Like my kids needed anything more then the basics and maybe make Budgeting and Balancing your money and Bank accounts as part of Math. I am 66 and learned everything I need by living.
      School? I learned Historic lies, Zero about Government and very little to ready me for the World

  • @erikaiam8864
    @erikaiam8864 3 года назад +85

    This guy actually made me laugh about situations in life that would normally make me sad😂😭
    I stopped being able to help my daughter with her advanced math midway through her 8th grade year. That's pretty much where I stopped understanding advanced math midway through my 8th grade year. Wish Khan Academy existed when I was younger. Thankfully, unlike me, she graduated with honors this year.

    • @WandaDeeBackroads
      @WandaDeeBackroads Год назад +1

      I think the root of the problem may be that, in my experience, the math teachers never communicate why someone should learn this stuff. There are some basic skills which you may rarely need but will be vital when you do, addition, subtraction, multiplication, division and fractions and percentages as a useful kicker. No one has ever needed to figure out when a train leaving New York at 2:00 traveling 60 miles an hour will meet a train leaving Chicago at 3:00 traveling 90 miles an hour. The reason you should learn to answer questions like that is to teach your mind to look at a problem, and not just a math problem, and analyze it in an orderly manner.

  • @gwenyverreking5565
    @gwenyverreking5565 3 года назад +159

    When my dad went back to school for nursing I had to sit down at the kitchen table and help him with his math homework 😂 when I started calculus I knew I was on my own lol!

    • @lydia2366
      @lydia2366 2 года назад +15

      That’s so sweet that you helped him and much respect and appreciation to your father! I hope he’s staying safe and has become a nurse ❤️

    • @lilarts7099
      @lilarts7099 2 года назад

      @@lydia2366 to ppp

    • @JadeDragon407
      @JadeDragon407 2 года назад +11

      Math is like hurricane season; you know it's getting serious when it gets into the Greek alphabet >>:=p

    • @kitsunelee007
      @kitsunelee007 2 года назад +1

      @@JadeDragon407 I'm stealing that

    • @JadeDragon407
      @JadeDragon407 2 года назад +1

      @@kitsunelee007 Enjoy!🙃🙂

  • @42kellys
    @42kellys 2 года назад +3

    He is amazing with his voice! The way he plays with it is just pure delight. Not even mentioning that he is genuinely funny.

  • @YouHadMeAtMoonPie
    @YouHadMeAtMoonPie 3 года назад +332

    He gets funnier as he goes! Man, he had the fifties anti-drug film voice down to a science.

    • @danpaulmobile
      @danpaulmobile 3 года назад +1

      Y

    • @Str8KOsoFUHQ
      @Str8KOsoFUHQ 3 года назад +19

      I couldn't stop laughing at one point. The greyhound bus driver naming all the candy was awesome!

    • @HollyMoore-wo2mh
      @HollyMoore-wo2mh 3 года назад +5

      I had flashbacks listening to him about the drug films. 🤣🤣

    • @johnbernstein7887
      @johnbernstein7887 2 года назад +3

      It was shown during Science too!

  • @neoblakkrstal9865
    @neoblakkrstal9865 2 месяца назад +2

    This guy is fantastic. I got to the point during the cereal bit where I could no longer breathe. Awesome man, keep rolling.

  • @vanessa5129
    @vanessa5129 3 года назад +312

    Once common core started no one could help my kids with their math..... and my mom is a CFO..... I made an appointment with the teacher...... she didn’t know how to do it either 😬

    • @stephj9378
      @stephj9378 3 года назад +7

      lol

    • @daviddickey9762
      @daviddickey9762 3 года назад +7

      is common core still around

    • @1umbreon4life
      @1umbreon4life 3 года назад +13

      I'm pretty sure I was raised with Common Core, so I can't speak for the veracity of earlier methods. What I can say is that 99% of people I've met who weren't raised with other methods *still hate math.* I'm pretty convinced that most of the people who complain about Common Core couldn't help their kids with math if the lessons were exactly the same as the ones they got as a kid. It's the result of a societal stigma towards math as a whole because people have long since realized that it's easier to complain about math than to actually learn it.

    • @sagittarius420cheefie
      @sagittarius420cheefie 3 года назад +11

      @Carol Young Very true. According to history I can "discover" my neighbors Cadillac Escalade and keep it for myself. Lol!!!

    • @vanessa5129
      @vanessa5129 3 года назад +28

      Carol Young yes ma’am. I put my kids in private school when in the middle of a math test a question popped up on the computer that said “How many people have you had sex with?”
      A. 0-3. B.4-7. C. 8-12 . D. More
      And the homework two different nights were “Write down everything in your parents medicine cabinet” and a couple nights later..... “How does the state provide for you like your parents/family, but better?” He was 14 at the time and my daughter was 17. Nope! Done Done!!!

  • @beththompson2188
    @beththompson2188 3 года назад +22

    Omg sounds like Mike Tyson driving the bus. 😂

  • @asherikamichaela8425
    @asherikamichaela8425 3 года назад +38

    That candy list was impressive! Kudos, man.

    • @bowl4u
      @bowl4u 8 месяцев назад

      I think Kudos was the only candy he missed!!

  • @pookiie271
    @pookiie271 3 года назад +83

    Did anyone else not realize how many types of candies there was until he named them all hahaja

    • @its__justb
      @its__justb 3 года назад +8

      I was shocked by the list myself.

    • @annfraley7083
      @annfraley7083 3 года назад +4

      I think he said Laffy Taffy twice.

    • @BEAUTYnIQ
      @BEAUTYnIQ 3 года назад +3

      he .. he missed sour patch !

    • @pookiie271
      @pookiie271 3 года назад +2

      @@annfraley7083 because its twice as good haha

    • @quickchris10
      @quickchris10 3 года назад +3

      Did you ever hear of ``Mary Janes?'' He stuck that in there. Maybe he meant marijuana.

  • @tara_hysteria
    @tara_hysteria 3 года назад +92

    Wow dear God he’s fantastic. That was truly hilarious, beyond entertaining; it was 36 minutes of pure joy for me, he is super talented and creative. I am beyond impressed with every single joke!!! Thank you Dry Bar comedy you always deliver and never disappoint!!!

    • @jeffaller6190
      @jeffaller6190 3 года назад +3

      So did you think he was funny or not?

    • @Earthy9025
      @Earthy9025 3 года назад +3

      🌷I agree. 🤣

    • @wakeup6910
      @wakeup6910 3 года назад +3

      What did you watch?

    • @jacobl6714
      @jacobl6714 2 года назад +1

      I mean they definitely disappoint sometimes lol I appreciate what they do, I think this guy's funny, and their success rate is pretty good, but folks like James gregory....hoo boy, some of em are painfully unfunny : p

  • @debbiehorn8263
    @debbiehorn8263 3 года назад +24

    The candy bars , OMG ! I couldn't stop laughing.. This man is brilliant but I thought the "voice" might not go over well in some cities . With out saying it was spot on ! I had to ride a Trailways Bus everyday to school. Very funny stuff .

  • @maryjanetheresa604
    @maryjanetheresa604 3 года назад +27

    My mom helped me with my math homework when I was in like grade 5, we both got most of it wrong hahaha

  • @adeolawilliams367
    @adeolawilliams367 3 года назад +51

    Your tape costs less than a blank tape... Lol

  • @l.a.w.79
    @l.a.w.79 3 года назад +19

    He has those accents down pat especially the bus driver from the Midwest. I know that Chicago accent anywhere.

  • @mindsmurf5282
    @mindsmurf5282 3 года назад +33

    that gps joke is the most relatable thing i've ever heard

  • @pablanu2591
    @pablanu2591 3 года назад +70

    “What were you thinking? Well, we were kind of thinking that it doesn’t really affect your life” Great line!

    • @cmherbs
      @cmherbs 5 месяцев назад

      Except we all do pay taxes to pay for their education

  • @FullMoonHowl
    @FullMoonHowl 3 года назад +53

    "Careful, Bill."
    Me: spine dissolves laughing.

  • @donwold1622
    @donwold1622 2 года назад +2

    I laughed SO hard and SO long at this comedic genius... I am sore! What a welcome surprise!

  • @TheBaritoneCrooner
    @TheBaritoneCrooner 3 года назад +22

    Been following Toomey's comedy for years! Nice to finally see him on Dry Bar. I wish he'd release his hilarious TV & Me comedy show where he imitates most of all the classic primetime TV and cartoon characters of his youth!

  • @lokristine8869
    @lokristine8869 3 года назад +3

    Crunch of Captains had me crying!!!

  • @georgiegal6745
    @georgiegal6745 3 года назад +3

    First time I met common core (11 years ago), my friend's 3rd grade daughter was like "Can you help me with my math homework?!" Sure!.....First problem?? After a 5 minute rant on the idiocy packed within her obviously sadistic teacher, I hugged her and said "Sorry, honey, but I'm gonna go, because I need therapy now." Lol

  • @katelily7619
    @katelily7619 3 года назад +5

    The candy part sounds like 'Leon Phelps Ladies Man' from SNL 😂😂😂

  • @moegreenback6854
    @moegreenback6854 3 года назад +19

    My dad used to stare at my homework for a few painful minutes before we both realize it was time to move on R.I.P dad!

  • @em1osmurf
    @em1osmurf 3 года назад +12

    4:30 my uncle offered to adopt me and enroll me in the copper mill apprenticeship. daddy: "my son is going to college". i flunked out, went to VN, and my cousin is now retired as UMW treasurer making $120k/mo retired pay. thanks daddy.

  • @beththompson2188
    @beththompson2188 3 года назад +4

    Fortuitous trinkets. 🤣

  • @whirlhoof5117
    @whirlhoof5117 3 года назад +2

    He had so many spot on impressions OMG! 😂😂 the greyhound bus driver and PSA weed voice Lmao seriously 😂😂🤣

  • @zacktankesly4940
    @zacktankesly4940 3 года назад +54

    That adam west impression was spot on

  • @fairday2
    @fairday2 3 года назад +25

    We had remedial training for students in the morning before they went to their 1st class. I was the librarian and had middle school students in my classes. I was supposed to teach 3 ways to solve a problem, but I taught one that they could remember. Even the most troublesome student did better just learning the natural way to solve a math problem. When we did reading I felt at home since library books were my job. Not all ways work like the "experts" that make the new ways.

  • @annfraley7083
    @annfraley7083 3 года назад +7

    If you drive from Dallas to Houston in three and a half hours, you're starting from the farthest point to the south in Dallas, going to the northernmost point of Houston - and you're driving 90 mph.

    • @quickchris10
      @quickchris10 3 года назад

      Yeah, I was thinking, ``more like 5 hours.'' And that's as the crow flies, if there are some good highways that take that diagonal? Otherwise, it's south to Austin (4 hours,) and turn left and drive another 2-3 hours.

  • @luisenriquez2712
    @luisenriquez2712 3 года назад +3

    TOTALLY agree about Cap'n Crunch! And I think I lived on that from age 21-23!

  • @Fetrovsky
    @Fetrovsky 3 года назад +4

    I hate when they start the video somewhere in the middle, for 3 seconds, then bring you to the beginning. Just start from the beginning. It's not interesting, funny or enticing to hear a sentence from somewhere in the middle, without context.

  • @momofmany9954
    @momofmany9954 3 года назад +34

    My husband and I tapped out with our 1st grader with predicate nouns..
    We felt like morons. Haha
    And yeah I was told by my college bound friends that "college isn't for everyone".. jokes on them as they have 6 figure student debt and my husband has a 6 figure trade job without the debt.😅

    • @HavianEla
      @HavianEla 2 года назад +2

      Hey! Sorry to bother you, but may I please ask what that trade is? I’ve been looking at different trades to take up instead of going to college (not for a lack of interest. I love learning, but I can learn for free on the Internet and would rather get OUT of debt (thanks medical bills!) than add to it. Plus, there aren’t enough people going into trade so it’s just gonna balloon a tradesmen’s salary

    • @treeguyable
      @treeguyable 2 года назад +3

      Yep, went to a 1 yr trade school, automotive, many decades ago. Cheap, and worth it. Got out with a job at a dealership. Worked on Mercedes Benz. $11.00 per hr, was good money 33 yrs ago, but.. quit, and started another business. Knowing how to work on stuff, saved me prob $100,000.00 over the last few decades, working on my fleet of junk.

  • @lennonscat
    @lennonscat 3 года назад +14

    I was not ready for the awesome impression of Adam West...

  • @amyx231
    @amyx231 3 года назад +3

    Oh hey look, a red car! My gps keeps telling me to turn too late.

  • @camarossdriver
    @camarossdriver 2 года назад +2

    FRUIT TIRES! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @whirlhoof5117
    @whirlhoof5117 3 года назад +2

    The candy bar rundown was nuts 😲😂😂

  • @Reman1975
    @Reman1975 Месяц назад

    Great set. Just brilliant. Remember to give him an up vote folks.

  • @nickmay9272
    @nickmay9272 3 года назад +17

    "What is that made out of, gravel?"

  • @AnnieWarriorPrincess
    @AnnieWarriorPrincess 3 года назад +3

    Fruity Pebbles with extra milk to dunk my Peanut Butter sandwich into. Never finished the cereal, cuz it got mushy, but loved the flavored milk with my sandwich! Those were the days!

  • @nea273
    @nea273 3 года назад +3

    Robert Barone? (Everybody Loves Raymond)

  • @ibidesign
    @ibidesign Год назад

    INCREDIBLY talented on so many levels. When he started reciting all that Halloween candy...wow!

  • @Arcona
    @Arcona 3 года назад +1

    How rude is that person in the audience? Someone's in the middle of answering his question and they decide to just shout YOU GUYS ARE OLD. What a prick.

  • @lisat.8138
    @lisat.8138 2 года назад

    I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time!!! His voices are amazing!!! 👍🏻

  • @katycollins5914
    @katycollins5914 3 года назад +9

    TOTALLY agree about Cap'n Crunch! And I think I lived on that from age 21-23!

  • @jeanniebell9493
    @jeanniebell9493 Год назад

    Great Job, Mike !!!

  • @stanwolenski9541
    @stanwolenski9541 3 года назад +6

    I always buy my sunglasses at the .99 Cent Only Store for the very same reasons.

  • @katelily7619
    @katelily7619 3 года назад +9

    WTF Mike? I watch you every morning on WGN9 Chicago. Never heard you mention Dry Bar.

  • @ItsAllAboutPerspective375
    @ItsAllAboutPerspective375 3 года назад +1

    My favorite offbrand names are Pirate's Crunch and Irish Treasure.

  • @LilByrdFly2
    @LilByrdFly2 9 месяцев назад

    😅 LoL is all I can say! Love you, where have you been? Thanks for the laughs

  • @cameronstone1611
    @cameronstone1611 2 года назад

    This guy is over the Top, meaning he takes u to every level of life, while making your face sore from laughing so hard 😆😆😆😆😃😁

  • @crivket1233
    @crivket1233 2 года назад +1

    LMFAO!!! YES !!! 😅🤣😂 yes I would pay more for a BLANK tape , then one with whitney huston!!!! 👍👍👍👍

  • @karlamkuhn760
    @karlamkuhn760 3 года назад +6

    😂😂😂 how many hours of practice did he need for ALL THAT CANDY list!!!!????!!!!! Needed that & he delivered!!!!
    -Azariah/SuburbaKnight
    PS 20:1, 6-8; IS 43; IS 38:15-20; DAN 3:16-18; JOHN 14:11-21

  • @blue39503
    @blue39503 2 года назад +1

    I had three older sisters that adored their baby brother . I really wasn't crazy about them hand-me-downs though.

  • @Charlottlette
    @Charlottlette 2 года назад

    This guy is absolutely great! XD XD XD XD

  • @WindowPains
    @WindowPains 3 года назад +42

    Me over here just quietly chanting "C's get degrees! C's get degrees!"

    • @sunset6010
      @sunset6010 3 года назад +2

      So do D's

    • @AimeeGirl
      @AimeeGirl 3 года назад +3

      A friend of mine was a straight A student. But she still got D's in college too 🤣😂🤣

    • @beththompson2188
      @beththompson2188 3 года назад +9

      I’ve heard that but someone once said she wouldn’t want her brain surgeon to have only earned C’s. 🧐🤔

    • @tomfoolery5526
      @tomfoolery5526 3 года назад +3

      This guy sounds like Robert off of the Ray Romano show

    • @allclay1993
      @allclay1993 3 года назад +2

      @@AimeeGirl This was me also. I didn't know how to study when I got to university because I never had to in high school

  • @anniemiller7729
    @anniemiller7729 Год назад

    The cereal part was good but the bus driver made me cry/laugh!

  • @benden5095
    @benden5095 3 года назад +2

    Math isn't new, the American education system has just found new and stupid ways to make it more difficult than it needs to be.

  • @lindablue7494
    @lindablue7494 3 года назад

    I love that Fortuitus Trinkets! lol Love the candy bar part too. Hilarious!

  • @donnawatson845
    @donnawatson845 3 года назад +1

    You are funny!! Thx for the laughs!!😆😆

  • @avianna7738
    @avianna7738 3 года назад +7

    Fortuitous Trinkets! ❤️⭐️🧲🍀🌑💰🌈🎈 😂🤣☠️

  • @cronastar1172
    @cronastar1172 2 года назад +9

    I worked in a daycare we had two nursing students a engineering student and I was a business student. We wrote a letter for a 5th grader saying we couldn’t figure out how to help her with her homework and neither could her parents. The teacher wrote a note back she apologized to her students and gave them full credit and got rid of that homework.

    • @saritataylor4235
      @saritataylor4235 Год назад +1

      I once took a worksheet back in to the teacher for my nephew. It was out and out wrong in the math. They had to get rid of that one.
      And they're always trying to show them 3 or 4 methods to come to an answer. I'm like "Just let them do the problem!"

    • @cronastar1172
      @cronastar1172 Год назад +1

      @@saritataylor4235 I fear what math is going to be like when my son starts school in 5 years. My old teachers favorite saying was there’s more than one way to skin a cat. She said It every time someone asked why we need to know different ways to get a answer

    • @bonnieweidman1002
      @bonnieweidman1002 Месяц назад

      So tell me how does getting rid of homework help someone learn how to do the math that they need.

    • @cronastar1172
      @cronastar1172 Месяц назад

      @@bonnieweidman1002 it wasn’t at the correct level the kids were learning at the time they were unable to complete the homework she threw it out so it didn’t effect their grades

  • @thesquigglespin
    @thesquigglespin 2 года назад

    That Greyhound bit was spot on. I took a one way trip from Chicago to San Antonio, and I think that was the driver I ended up with.

  • @PluribusProject
    @PluribusProject 3 года назад +5

    If you put someone else's trophy on the mantle it would have to face the wall so your guests couldn't read the names on the front. And then if they ask why you just tell them the athletes on top are on time-out.

  • @XAAROV1
    @XAAROV1 3 года назад +9

    We should have never turned from the abacus

  • @Roni-yy1uv
    @Roni-yy1uv 3 года назад +2

    Halloween in my neighborhood......🤣🤣

  • @happycook6737
    @happycook6737 3 года назад +4

    I think the big problem is kids are expected to solve math problems in many different ways and to explain how they solved them. This is ridiculous as most kids get confused. When I was a student, we were shown 1 way. We mastered that one way and could do it. We did not have to explain and solve, just solve. Now today we have very confused kids except for the very few brilliant kids.

  • @poppyssnoopy5835
    @poppyssnoopy5835 Год назад +5

    I was SO impressed with how he listed ALL those candies and gum brands without missing a beat!! 😂👍 Brought back alot of memories for me along with the costumes... I was dying throughout the whole show 👌

  • @arcdusky
    @arcdusky 3 года назад +5

    SpaghettiOs three for a dollar!? That's a good deal.

  • @abbycross90210
    @abbycross90210 3 года назад +12

    This guy's voice game is amazing.

  • @robertschwartz4810
    @robertschwartz4810 3 года назад +8

    Mike Toomey, the man with all the answers! I enjoy watching you mornings on WGN.

  • @orleansartist6095
    @orleansartist6095 3 года назад +2

    Whoa he knows a lot of candies

  • @TeamCat1128
    @TeamCat1128 3 года назад +1

    Really like this guy! Good stuff.

  • @emilymorris7046
    @emilymorris7046 3 года назад +1

    I can’t do math in general. Luckily I missed the Common Core math curriculum just in time. My sister however….

  • @katiedrew4708
    @katiedrew4708 3 года назад +2

    I rode a bus from Avon Park, FL to Keene, NH, bike week 1989, changed buses every major city on the East coast, first change in Daytona Beach, biker who was getting off tried to convince me to go. 37 1/2 hours with 8 1/2 hour stop in Port Authority NY City. Not fun.

  • @michah321
    @michah321 3 года назад +4

    This guy actually HAS ADD... omg.. I found a friend... So many people say they do.. they have no idea the daily struggle of doing everything wrong...the principal would tell my mom.. "there's nothing wrong with average.. " as I struggled to keep my own ponytails from obstructing my vision...

  • @byron.jennings
    @byron.jennings 3 года назад +1

    FANTASTIC voice!

  • @joycejean-baptiste4355
    @joycejean-baptiste4355 2 месяца назад

    Wow, he reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield, his voice has that cadence and his jokes are reminiscent. Funny.

  • @alaboutfood2326
    @alaboutfood2326 3 года назад +5

    Hey Mike,
    GGGGGGOOOOOOOD MORNING Chicago! This is amazing, I didn't know this about you! Very Cool!!

    • @catherineshaw1122
      @catherineshaw1122 2 года назад

      I remember him headlining as a comic back in 1990. Had no idea he was still doing it or working at WGN, lol.

  • @C3yl0
    @C3yl0 3 года назад +1

    His voice same as the brother of Ray Romano from Everybody Loves Raymond Show. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @denisestinnett4414
    @denisestinnett4414 Год назад

    Shootz, now I want fruity pebbles with whip cream! Ooh, cocoa pebbles…

  • @creatorsjourney6286
    @creatorsjourney6286 2 года назад +4

    Very impressed with the memory capacity! 😳 I was an A student in Trigonometry but, there some problems with bad instructions on my 3rd grader homework that leaves me scratching my head! 🤪😜

  • @carolartis2149
    @carolartis2149 Год назад

    I'm a sub but I've been a teacher for 30 years. But this new math is nuts. So I teach the old way and they get it right away. Crazy.

  • @carlbaumeister3439
    @carlbaumeister3439 2 года назад

    The best comedians are from Chicago!

  • @jodirenaud7917
    @jodirenaud7917 3 года назад +12

    OMG this guy is sooooooo funny! I'm literally crying! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @alewisscott
      @alewisscott 3 года назад

      That candy list was amazing!! I remember all of those! 😊

    • @majoroldladyakamom6948
      @majoroldladyakamom6948 3 года назад +1

      @Rob Figaro It's spelled
      L I T E R A L L Y, duh.
      Hope you're not home-schooling anyone above the 3rd-grade level, ROFL!

  • @brendafleming6443
    @brendafleming6443 3 года назад +1

    How did he do that awesome very funny!

  • @johnmonk66
    @johnmonk66 3 года назад +1

    Never in the history of the country has anyever put a razor blade into an apple on Halloween, that was a candy company rumour started to sell more candy