Lemme know in the comments, people: do you get told you're "too sensitive," a "drama queen," or that you should "forgive and forget" when you tell someone about a hurtful experience? Do you recognize the people in your life who may be abuse enablers? If so, I wanna know if this video resonated with you!
Such a helpful video! I’d like to add that I find managing my expectations important. If I go to a friend or family member wanting my experience to be validated and that family member has shown they aren’t capable of holding space without judgment/input , then I know that even saying “I’m not looking for feedback.” Isn’t enough. Sometimes even asking, “hey I’m going through something. Are you willing and able to just listen and understand me without giving advice/feedback, etc? isn’t going to work with people in our lives who are on another level of emotional awareness/maturity. Some friends/family just need to be farther out on our orbit of importance/vulnerability than others. This is just my personal experience. ❤️
"Yeah but what did YOU do?" Got that all the time growing up. No wonder I kept it to myself, and so have my siblings, for enduring health and life altering levels of abuse. But I don't anymore. Thanks for a great topic!
For me it was an enabler telling me I need to change my perspective. Then going on to explain how I had all the physical things a child could want growing up, therefore I have no right to say that my narcissistic mother had any part in my diagnosis of depression and anxiety disorder at 14. I then asked this person to leave my home.
Great advice, thank you so much, Terri. I experience this all the time with my parents and my older sister. My sister is incredibly unhappy and miserable, is always verbally abusing me and yelling at me because my life is different than hers. My parents brush it off by saying "she's a single mom, she has a hard job, she has a hard life." I used to really internalize all of this abusive stuff and beat myself up about my sister. I went through a really difficult time with breast cancer a few years ago; she was not emotionally supportive at all. She couldn't handle seeing me so sick because I have always been her rock and also her punching bag. Her support comes in gifts, whatever money could buy. I was/am grateful. I thought my brush with death would give everyone perspective, but I was wrong. All these years later, no one has changed but me. And here I am still shouldering the abuse from her. I finally realized the other night when she did it again that she will never change because she hates herself and attracts that into her life. I love myself, I am in awe of myself for surviving cancer, I treat everyone with kindness and compassion, and have a wonderful boyfriend and best friends. So, in order for me to cope and enjoy my own life, I have begun to block my sister on my phone. I still struggle with understanding why she does this. It's very painful and confusing for me. Always screaming, always yelling and cursing, mad at everyone who doesn't have her life. It's hard to love her. It's hard to even like her. The only reason why I haven't cut ties completely is because of my niece. I want to keep my relationship with my niece and my parents. Therapy helps a lot. Self-protection and self-care. 💖
I can so relate to this but I’m the oldest scapegoat and my youngest sibling was taught how to treat me by our narcissistic parent. The middle one enables the behavior and the youngest one lashes out at me consistently. It’s taken me so long to finally face the truth that my siblings in many ways have adopted the behavior of our Narcissistic parent. Thankfully with time and therapy and Al-Anon I have built a life for myself. A good life that I want them to have also but I’m not willing to be their punching bag because their lives have not turned out the way they would have liked.
@@dnk4559 Glad that you have built a life for yourself separate from your siblings. Differentiation is key, as I am learning every single day. Baby steps. Support and self-care. 💖
I’ve experienced this recently. I went to a trusted mutual friend for support and guidance. Big mistake. Humiliation was added to my heartbreak. Sad but true. I’m learning to accept my situation for what it truly is (reality). I’m recognizing that I have been investing into a fantasy. I’m valuable, lovable and kind. I can detach and create a better life for myself. Thank you for sharing this with us and telling us that we are not alone in this.
"You need to let go, like the Disney ice movie says," is what my Mother wrote to me. It's like she thinks all the pieces of the puzzle of my abusive past are just going to magically vanish in a puff of smoke and glitter. Like the hurtful nasty words she refused to apologize for didn't actually happen. That was the one time in over 60 years that I finally called her out on the words being hurtful. I've worked so hard to get to this place. Now, with the help from your book and info, and that of many others, therapy and lots of deep diving I finally have clarity about why I have felt life was such a struggle. I look forward to part 2. Great topic.
Glad your getting clarity Carla, good job! Ignoring past abuse (no resolve) is abuse. Its such BS. I refuse to marinade in it by just hanging out and pretending my life wasnt ruined by something nobody in the family will recognize let alone offer me support on. Im supposed to just endure my plans and dreams smashed to pieces at thier benifit and still come back for Christmas? I choose to keep the fabric of my reality intact.
Thank you so much. I’m the oldest parentified scapegoat adult child of a narcissistic family system. It’s taken me being in my fifties to really come to terms with this. I wish I’d realized this last year when I walked away from my bullying narcissistic dying father. I needed the support of my two siblings. I was gaslit and blamed for his behavior. I was told “he doesn’t act that way when I go to the hospital”, “what are you saying to him when you go up there”, “I don’t have time for this drama”. My Dad had been abusive to me throughout my childhood and adult life. I kept hoping things would change. When he told me I didn’t deserve anything I have, called me a liar for wanting to wear a mask around him to protect him after his brain surgery. Of course, his brain surgery and shunt is the reason the family gives for his abusive behavior but it does not explain an entire life time of being his emotional punching bag. His behavior triggered all of that. The sexual comments, etc. I just could not do it anymore and chose to go no contact with him. I offered to bring meals to the siblings who were caring for him and I offered to give money each month to help with his care but I was not willing to be his punching bag anymore and have my family deny the abuse. I just couldn’t do it one more time. Now the story is I abandoned all of them. The dysfunction seems to never end. I was the only one who got therapy and have spent many years in Al-Anon. I pray someday things can be different and with the right tools I can navigate letting go of all expectations of care and concern from my siblings and just accept they are not capable of giving me the love and acceptance that I have tried to give them. I was an angry bossy child. They can forgive our Narc father for everything, his neglect, his abandonment, his lies and manipulation but it appears I am held to very different standards in the family.
Thank you so much for putting such heartfelt effort into this video. My mother is a toxic enabler with my abusive father who disowned me. She would always explain to me why I deserved the abuse and to this day she maintains that things were not really so bad in our family. She told me that I ruined her marriage. When I would describe to her an unpleasant interaction with others, she would always start her reply with, "Well it's your own fault..." and tell me that I am too sensitive. I learned not to look to her for support or guidance, and it was a relief to leave home and create distance from her. Your video is comforting.
Thank you Terri for shining a light on this painful situation. I have heard many of these remarks from my family at one time or another when really all I wanted was a compassionate ear. One of the worse though for me is the suggestion to 'get over yourself' that's tied up in the ‘It’s not always about you’ response to your situation. My sister gave me that one after I shared an upsetting interaction I had with my mother - it hurt me for much longer than anything that had passed between me and my mother. Keep up the great work you are doing!
Terri, I have come to believe, after learning a lot about abuse over the past many years, that those who do not support the victim/target of abuse, when they begin to talk about it, these enablers may themselves engage in dysfunctional, passive aggressive or even aggressive behavior (no one is perfect), so for them to label a certain behavior as evil, they would have to be critical toward themselves. I have personally seen, how when I told my maternal aunt about the abuse in my family or origin (narc yelling father, etc.): my narc father: who put his hands around moms neck and strangled her for a bit years ago during a heated argument after mom was unfaithful, aunt said mom deserved it. Yet my maternal aunt slapped my adult male cousin for him being unfaithful to his wife, who then divorced her. Situations that cause really strong emotions, many many people do not know how to functionally manage those emotions and make mistakes, but then they will not own up to those mistakes, so they try to make it ok..... My personal opinion based on observations. This maternal aunt took care of her 2 parents in the last 2 years of their lives (demented, bad walking, really difficult challenging situation).... she used to confide in me, how she beat grandpa over the head with his diapers, when he refused to put them on therefore leading to urine being on the floor..... Really hard life stuff that people in general do not want to see, consider or think about; let alone their/our own not so good actions. But then again, we should only tell our shame stories to the very safest of people. Life is really hard sometimes.
YES my malignant narcissist husband (diagnosed by 3 mental health professionals, all on separate occasions) uses drugs/alcohol and WILL NOT let me and the kids go. His mom likes to ask me what's going on and when I tell her about the drama and abuse she victim blames everything back onto me. Shock how he ended up as a Narc! His family are the worst enablers, that have helped him torment me for 12 years. And they all somehow exepmt themselves from responsibly in their participation. Its like- NO, if you're denying, supporting, advising, antagonizing, and/or financing abuse- you're responsible for it. Period.
You may want to cut off communication with your mother-in-law and other relatives of your husband. Have you looked into taking yourself and the kids into a women's shelter?
Dear Terri, thank you so much for this video and for your content in general since I also listen to your podcasts. I grew up in a highly abusive environment and my best move was to go no contact a few years back. Best decision ever. Nowadays it strikes as some of my friends have these enabling traits, and I am trying to figure out if I must let go of them, or set better boundaries with them and spend less time possible around them… thanks again for your video 🤗
As always I appreciate greatly the energy you share with us. Groundedness, stability, a receptive, kind and safe container, curiosity, clarity. Thank you. I love your continued presence in my life
love yourself and you're not responsible for forgiving or loving someone else who abused you, your self love is enough and important and that means my boundary it's my choice and it's okay so I can protect myself
love you terri! you are so pretty! this is some real content! thank you for the healing, truth and pulling the curtain back on things we've subconsciously accepted out of love and thinking we are obligated to receive.🙏🏼
One person who was not an abuse enabler was my last boyfriend's brother. He was in a tight spot, because he loved his bro and wouldn't dream of costing him his girlfriend, so had to be careful what he said, but when I asked if my bf lies, he told me, "He tells you what you want to hear". He then thought he might have said too much and tried to cover his tracks, but the message was given. Bf lied all the time. My main enabler that comes to mind though as you talk is my half sister. She said those exact things, but she never lived with our Dad. She doesn't know what it's like. Plus, she wanted the money, and was prepared to live in a lie for nearly 30 years to get it, especially the last 5, when she was the ideal grown daughter to him, and he rewarded her with 80%. I really like the bit about asking your friend to hold space for you to be the observer. I had that same situation with my cousin, when she told me I'm a good mother when I wasn't asking, and I felt judged. I reminded her that she doesn't know what it's like to be me. I told her what I didn't want, but I didn't tell her what I do want. She agreed not to send any further empty platitudes, but she doesn't know what I do want. I think however that she has had to choose a side between me and my Mom, and she picks mom, so that's ok. They're closer in age, and have known each other longer, and are generally closer. She doesn't see how controlling and selfish my mom is. My Mom"s an angel compared to her's.
Love the content! I struggle with a mom who has narcissistic tendencies. She means well but expects everyone to have the same thoughts and opinions as her. She constantly reminds my brother and I (ages 31 and 33) how much she sacrificed for her and that in some cases, in order to validate her feelings is to agree with her. She also has this "I am your mother, so I am right and how dare you speak to me that way" whenever my brother and I try to set boundaries. In regards to this video, my father is the one who enables her. We have told him he does this by telling us to just stop being "difficult" and do as she says and when we don't, he blows up on us too. My brother and I are learning to work together to get through these tough times but having an enabling father complicates things as we can't go to him with our issues
Hi been there. I tried respond vs reacting and it works well for me. You Don't ever have to be codependent whatsoever. No matter who, your life us your own, and therefore boundaries are vital. If that means being difficult, then so be it! Love yourself. Love and hugs.
Could you please do a video on how to energetically separate yourself from others? As a co-dependent who grew up in a choatic votile home, this is really hard. I have listened to your book but i am still struggling to make the shift internally.
Yes. Abuse enablers. Co-abusers. Usually, making excuses for men Expecting women to take abuse. Blame us for being abused. Shaming us for the crime of "staying," with a family. Being required to sacrifice the lives of our unborn children "for someone's convenience."
Thank you Terri, it's lovely to hear explained the situations I have recently been through. How do you deal with a boundary bully on which your future career depends? I had to choose between protecting my boundaries and the safety of my future....and I chose my boundaries, but still...so many people in the world keep silent because of fear of losing their job. What's your point on this one? What do you do when the gate to your paradise is guarded by a manipulator? Thank you.
@coyote g. Thank you for sharing your story. It's indeed a very difficult choice... shut up and be promoted or speak your truth and you'll get fired...sounds to me like the story from the movie Scent of Woman with Al Pacino. I'm glad you don't have regrets and that you're in a better place now.
How about... "her mother is very mean.. but she doesn't know how to make herself agreable either.." The second part was about me. Except I knew exactly how to "be agreable" but I didn't want to give her more fuel or validation by doing that.
I felt like I was responsible for thinking of an excuse to day happy birthday so the person would like me n change their opinion of me but I can't change if she doesn't like me and I tried twice to prove that I'm doing better at my work and she was still mean to me
Lemme know in the comments, people: do you get told you're "too sensitive," a "drama queen," or that you should "forgive and forget" when you tell someone about a hurtful experience? Do you recognize the people in your life who may be abuse enablers? If so, I wanna know if this video resonated with you!
Such a helpful video! I’d like to add that I find managing my expectations important. If I go to a friend or family member wanting my experience to be validated and that family member has shown they aren’t capable of holding space without judgment/input
, then I know that even saying “I’m not looking for feedback.” Isn’t enough. Sometimes even asking, “hey I’m going through something. Are you willing and able to just listen and understand me without giving advice/feedback, etc? isn’t going to work with people in our lives who are on another level of emotional awareness/maturity. Some friends/family just need to be farther out on our orbit of importance/vulnerability than others. This is just my personal experience. ❤️
"Yeah but what did YOU do?" Got that all the time growing up. No wonder I kept it to myself, and so have my siblings, for enduring health and life altering levels of abuse. But I don't anymore. Thanks for a great topic!
For me it was an enabler telling me I need to change my perspective. Then going on to explain how I had all the physical things a child could want growing up, therefore I have no right to say that my narcissistic mother had any part in my diagnosis of depression and anxiety disorder at 14. I then asked this person to leave my home.
Great advice, thank you so much, Terri. I experience this all the time with my parents and my older sister. My sister is incredibly unhappy and miserable, is always verbally abusing me and yelling at me because my life is different than hers. My parents brush it off by saying "she's a single mom, she has a hard job, she has a hard life." I used to really internalize all of this abusive stuff and beat myself up about my sister. I went through a really difficult time with breast cancer a few years ago; she was not emotionally supportive at all. She couldn't handle seeing me so sick because I have always been her rock and also her punching bag. Her support comes in gifts, whatever money could buy. I was/am grateful. I thought my brush with death would give everyone perspective, but I was wrong. All these years later, no one has changed but me. And here I am still shouldering the abuse from her. I finally realized the other night when she did it again that she will never change because she hates herself and attracts that into her life. I love myself, I am in awe of myself for surviving cancer, I treat everyone with kindness and compassion, and have a wonderful boyfriend and best friends. So, in order for me to cope and enjoy my own life, I have begun to block my sister on my phone. I still struggle with understanding why she does this. It's very painful and confusing for me. Always screaming, always yelling and cursing, mad at everyone who doesn't have her life. It's hard to love her. It's hard to even like her. The only reason why I haven't cut ties completely is because of my niece. I want to keep my relationship with my niece and my parents. Therapy helps a lot. Self-protection and self-care. 💖
I can so relate to this but I’m the oldest scapegoat and my youngest sibling was taught how to treat me by our narcissistic parent. The middle one enables the behavior and the youngest one lashes out at me consistently. It’s taken me so long to finally face the truth that my siblings in many ways have adopted the behavior of our Narcissistic parent. Thankfully with time and therapy and Al-Anon I have built a life for myself. A good life that I want them to have also but I’m not willing to be their punching bag because their lives have not turned out the way they would have liked.
@@dnk4559 Glad that you have built a life for yourself separate from your siblings. Differentiation is key, as I am learning every single day. Baby steps. Support and self-care. 💖
@@birdie6916 blessings on your continued healing journey!
@@dnk4559 Thank you so much! 🙂You too!
Getting sick with a major illness or chronic disease is the fastest way to find out who you can really count on. So sorry to hear that Birdie much ❤️
"....blaming a kid for an adult's behavior......" Lived that one, for sure. Thank you for this great video.
I feel you. Indeed this is a terrible experience creating codependend adult 🥺 lots of good wishes 💝
For REAL.
I’ve experienced this recently. I went to a trusted mutual friend for support and guidance. Big mistake. Humiliation was added to my heartbreak. Sad but true. I’m learning to accept my situation for what it truly is (reality). I’m recognizing that I have been investing into a fantasy. I’m valuable, lovable and kind. I can detach and create a better life for myself. Thank you for sharing this with us and telling us that we are not alone in this.
"You need to let go, like the Disney ice movie says," is what my Mother wrote to me. It's like she thinks all the pieces of the puzzle of my abusive past are just going to magically vanish in a puff of smoke and glitter. Like the hurtful nasty words she refused to apologize for didn't actually happen. That was the one time in over 60 years that I finally called her out on the words being hurtful.
I've worked so hard to get to this place. Now, with the help from your book and info, and that of many others, therapy and lots of deep diving I finally have clarity about why I have felt life was such a struggle. I look forward to part 2. Great topic.
Glad your getting clarity Carla, good job!
Ignoring past abuse (no resolve) is abuse. Its such BS. I refuse to marinade in it by just hanging out and pretending my life wasnt ruined by something nobody in the family will recognize let alone offer me support on. Im supposed to just endure my plans and dreams smashed to pieces at thier benifit and still come back for Christmas? I choose to keep the fabric of my reality intact.
Thank you so much. I’m the oldest parentified scapegoat adult child of a narcissistic family system. It’s taken me being in my fifties to really come to terms with this. I wish I’d realized this last year when I walked away from my bullying narcissistic dying father. I needed the support of my two siblings. I was gaslit and blamed for his behavior. I was told “he doesn’t act that way when I go to the hospital”, “what are you saying to him when you go up there”, “I don’t have time for this drama”. My Dad had been abusive to me throughout my childhood and adult life. I kept hoping things would change. When he told me I didn’t deserve anything I have, called me a liar for wanting to wear a mask around him to protect him after his brain surgery. Of course, his brain surgery and shunt is the reason the family gives for his abusive
behavior but it does not explain an entire life time of being his emotional punching bag. His behavior triggered all of that. The sexual comments, etc. I just could not do it anymore and chose to go no contact with him. I offered to bring meals to the siblings who were caring for him and I offered to give money each month to help with his care but I was not willing to be his punching bag anymore and have my family deny the abuse. I just couldn’t do it one more time. Now the story is I abandoned all of them. The dysfunction seems to never end. I was the only one who got therapy and have spent many years in Al-Anon. I pray someday things can be different and with the right tools I can navigate letting go of all expectations of care and concern from my siblings and just accept they are not capable of giving me the love and acceptance that I have tried to give them. I was an angry bossy child. They can forgive our Narc father for everything, his neglect, his abandonment, his lies and manipulation but it appears I am held to very different standards in the family.
Thank you so much for putting such heartfelt effort into this video. My mother is a toxic enabler with my abusive father who disowned me. She would always explain to me why I deserved the abuse and to this day she maintains that things were not really so bad in our family. She told me that I ruined her marriage. When I would describe to her an unpleasant interaction with others, she would always start her reply with, "Well it's your own fault..." and tell me that I am too sensitive. I learned not to look to her for support or guidance, and it was a relief to leave home and create distance from her. Your video is comforting.
Thank you Terri for shining a light on this painful situation. I have heard many of these remarks from my family at one time or another when really all I wanted was a compassionate ear. One of the worse though for me is the suggestion to 'get over yourself' that's tied up in the ‘It’s not always about you’ response to your situation. My sister gave me that one after I shared an upsetting interaction I had with my mother - it hurt me for much longer than anything that had passed between me and my mother. Keep up the great work you are doing!
Yes, I so agree!
Terri, I have come to believe, after learning a lot about abuse over the past many years, that those who do not support the victim/target of abuse, when they begin to talk about it, these enablers may themselves engage in dysfunctional, passive aggressive or even aggressive behavior (no one is perfect), so for them to label a certain behavior as evil, they would have to be critical toward themselves. I have personally seen, how when I told my maternal aunt about the abuse in my family or origin (narc yelling father, etc.): my narc father: who put his hands around moms neck and strangled her for a bit years ago during a heated argument after mom was unfaithful, aunt said mom deserved it. Yet my maternal aunt slapped my adult male cousin for him being unfaithful to his wife, who then divorced her. Situations that cause really strong emotions, many many people do not know how to functionally manage those emotions and make mistakes, but then they will not own up to those mistakes, so they try to make it ok..... My personal opinion based on observations. This maternal aunt took care of her 2 parents in the last 2 years of their lives (demented, bad walking, really difficult challenging situation).... she used to confide in me, how she beat grandpa over the head with his diapers, when he refused to put them on therefore leading to urine being on the floor..... Really hard life stuff that people in general do not want to see, consider or think about; let alone their/our own not so good actions. But then again, we should only tell our shame stories to the very safest of people. Life is really hard sometimes.
YES my malignant narcissist husband (diagnosed by 3 mental health professionals, all on separate occasions) uses drugs/alcohol and WILL NOT let me and the kids go. His mom likes to ask me what's going on and when I tell her about the drama and abuse she victim blames everything back onto me. Shock how he ended up as a Narc! His family are the worst enablers, that have helped him torment me for 12 years. And they all somehow exepmt themselves from responsibly in their participation. Its like- NO, if you're denying, supporting, advising, antagonizing, and/or financing abuse- you're responsible for it. Period.
You may want to cut off communication with your mother-in-law and other relatives of your husband. Have you looked into taking yourself and the kids into a women's shelter?
Dear Terri, thank you so much for this video and for your content in general since I also listen to your podcasts. I grew up in a highly abusive environment and my best move was to go no contact a few years back. Best decision ever. Nowadays it strikes as some of my friends have these enabling traits, and I am trying to figure out if I must let go of them, or set better boundaries with them and spend less time possible around them… thanks again for your video 🤗
Wow! Great comment about asking someone to just hold space as an observer.
As always I appreciate greatly the energy you share with us. Groundedness, stability, a receptive, kind and safe container, curiosity, clarity. Thank you. I love your continued presence in my life
love yourself and you're not responsible for forgiving or loving someone else who abused you, your self love is enough and important and that means my boundary it's my choice and it's okay so I can protect myself
I just wanted to say how much I LOVE this channel!
Thank you so much, I appreciate you 💕
Your videos always help me thank you 😊
love you terri! you are so pretty!
this is some real content! thank you for the healing, truth and pulling the curtain back on things we've subconsciously accepted out of love and thinking we are obligated to receive.🙏🏼
Thanks Terri. I can't wait to watch part 2!
One person who was not an abuse enabler was my last boyfriend's brother. He was in a tight spot, because he loved his bro and wouldn't dream of costing him his girlfriend, so had to be careful what he said, but when I asked if my bf lies, he told me, "He tells you what you want to hear". He then thought he might have said too much and tried to cover his tracks, but the message was given. Bf lied all the time.
My main enabler that comes to mind though as you talk is my half sister. She said those exact things, but she never lived with our Dad. She doesn't know what it's like. Plus, she wanted the money, and was prepared to live in a lie for nearly 30 years to get it, especially the last 5, when she was the ideal grown daughter to him, and he rewarded her with 80%.
I really like the bit about asking your friend to hold space for you to be the observer. I had that same situation with my cousin, when she told me I'm a good mother when I wasn't asking, and I felt judged. I reminded her that she doesn't know what it's like to be me. I told her what I didn't want, but I didn't tell her what I do want. She agreed not to send any further empty platitudes, but she doesn't know what I do want. I think however that she has had to choose a side between me and my Mom, and she picks mom, so that's ok. They're closer in age, and have known each other longer, and are generally closer. She doesn't see how controlling and selfish my mom is. My Mom"s an angel compared to her's.
Love and have compassion to yourself even family sometimes don't understand you if friends do then stick closer to them that's what I do
@@jenisselokai4239 ❤Thank you
this is sooo real in my family !!
Love the content! I struggle with a mom who has narcissistic tendencies. She means well but expects everyone to have the same thoughts and opinions as her. She constantly reminds my brother and I (ages 31 and 33) how much she sacrificed for her and that in some cases, in order to validate her feelings is to agree with her. She also has this "I am your mother, so I am right and how dare you speak to me that way" whenever my brother and I try to set boundaries. In regards to this video, my father is the one who enables her. We have told him he does this by telling us to just stop being "difficult" and do as she says and when we don't, he blows up on us too. My brother and I are learning to work together to get through these tough times but having an enabling father complicates things as we can't go to him with our issues
Hi been there. I tried respond vs reacting and it works well for me. You Don't ever have to be codependent whatsoever. No matter who, your life us your own, and therefore boundaries are vital. If that means being difficult, then so be it!
Love yourself. Love and hugs.
Spot on...my family's dynamics ; all jockeying for position out of range from malignant narc father.
Thank you Terri, wow so helpful! I can see more clearly!
Thank u this was Amazing When u say these things To people No one understand
Could you please do a video on how to energetically separate yourself from others? As a co-dependent who grew up in a choatic votile home, this is really hard. I have listened to your book but i am still struggling to make the shift internally.
Yes.
Abuse enablers.
Co-abusers.
Usually, making excuses for men
Expecting women to take abuse.
Blame us for being abused.
Shaming us for the crime of "staying," with a family.
Being required to sacrifice the lives of our unborn children "for someone's convenience."
Thank you Terri, it's lovely to hear explained the situations I have recently been through. How do you deal with a boundary bully on which your future career depends? I had to choose between protecting my boundaries and the safety of my future....and I chose my boundaries, but still...so many people in the world keep silent because of fear of losing their job. What's your point on this one? What do you do when the gate to your paradise is guarded by a manipulator? Thank you.
@coyote g. Thank you for sharing your story. It's indeed a very difficult choice... shut up and be promoted or speak your truth and you'll get fired...sounds to me like the story from the movie Scent of Woman with Al Pacino. I'm glad you don't have regrets and that you're in a better place now.
thankyou 🥰 🙏
Thank you for this video,however I find the delivery a little confusing. Will watch part two with the hope I understand it better. Thank you.
How about... "her mother is very mean.. but she doesn't know how to make herself agreable either.." The second part was about me. Except I knew exactly how to "be agreable" but I didn't want to give her more fuel or validation by doing that.
I felt like I was responsible for thinking of an excuse to day happy birthday so the person would like me n change their opinion of me but I can't change if she doesn't like me and I tried twice to prove that I'm doing better at my work and she was still mean to me
Why are we going to these enablers for their comments?