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Dad goes viral for his simple tips to reduce ‘mental load’ for his partner
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- Опубликовано: 23 мар 2023
- Michael Vaughn shared a step-by-step list of what chores he tackles around the house before going out of town to make sure his wife feels supported.
Good point about actually researching weather conditions. Dads are not just “helpers”, they need to do the full job which often has many details. Women are expected to do this automatically and with no praise. They are just as capable with practice.
Someone give this man a gold medal.
why? this is what partners do. partners. mental load = the planning/researching/networking in order to get.. two kids somewhere safely. making sure the house is running smoothly, the two.. growing humans are gettng what is needed mentally, educationally, physically.
someone give this man a widdle pat on the back because he's sooooo smart, he figured it out all by himself uwu
Why for the hotel room? I mean that's as above and beyond as he goes, the rest is just doing chores so the wife doesnt have to shoulder everything - men are always looking for a huge congratulations for doing the smallest things.
Yes! Show them how it is done. Best Husband award!
I am manifesting a man like this in my life!
That is the Robin every batman is looking for.
this is awesome and thoughtful
My husband is not capable of noticing anything that needs to be done, not even when it’s right in front of his face. And if I ask him to take care of anything he gets an attitude and treats me as if I have asked him to give up a kidney. I’m exhausted and think about leaving him every day.
😢
Oh he's capable he just doesn't want to do those things. Oh &.that attitude he's giving you is training & punishment. Punishment for asking him & training you so you won't ask again.
Wow
The bar is in hell
Wtf
Does she do those things for you when she has time away? Thats the issue.
majority of unhappy sahms don't include the dads in decision making because they don't respect the fathers input. then when the father doesn't comply all of the sudden he's a lazy narcissist gas lighter. women make up too many frivolous requirements that sound good in theory but when it comes time to take responsibility for those "wants" the shortcomings are scapegoated to their partners. the most risky career of woman to a man is a sahm.
That's not always true. I can't speak for every SAHM but usually unhappiness stems from bitterness that grows because the SAHM isn't having her needs met and is feeling taken advantage of. And then, sometimes, when she communicates this, it's not received well and nothing changes. So the bitterness grows.
There's something that men need to realize about women and motherhood. I'll tell it to you by giving you an example:
I watched this video of a ring doorbell recording. A Mom had left the home (I can't remember where she went, the store or something?) and the kids were being watched by their father. Well the kids ended up needing something. And instead of going to their father to ask for it, who was home, they rang their own doorbell to get ahold of their mom 😂. They then proceeded to ask her for what they were needing. And she was able to help them through the camera doorbell.
THAT is the weight of motherhood and womanhood. THAT is the unseen and unspoken bond between a mother and her children. It's only when a mother fails to strengthen and maintain that bond that the children will go to their father for it instead. How many times as a kid did you or any of us ask our Dad where Mom was even though we could've just asked our Dad for the thing we wanted? I know I did. I STILL do. Women have charge over everyone's emotional needs in a way that men can't mimic. And that responsibility to our husband's, our kids, our family, and our community can be very exhausting and draining. Naturally, anyone would need a break from being needed. That's where the husband can step in.
Now, you did say something about input not being appreciated from men and I think that sometimes you're right about that. Both spouses should be willing to listen to each other and consider the others input before making a decision. But also consider how a man can give input on something he may not fully understand. He can't understand the weight of being a Mom because he can't be one. He can only be a Dad. And vise versa. Women can't understand what it's like to be a Dad because they can't be one. So then, each spouse needs to communicate their needs and together they should be able to help each other. The only way a marriage stays happy is if both spouses feel their needs are being met. If they are not, communication is key to help each other understand what the other is going through and how they can help.
Yeah those crazy standards like kids need a sweater when it’s going to be cold? 😂
@@missinterpretation4984 yeah like don't drink out of water hose either cause it's ick
@@postskeetclarity oh no she wants kids to have clean drinking water. You must feel so oppressed.
It's crazy what people have to do nowadays because both parents have to work.
But people who are stay at home parents and complaining about "mental load" are just lazy.
Agreed. If your at home. That's your job.
Yeah definitely not! Being a stay at home parent is not a job. Last I checked you get paid for a job. People who work get to go home and not have to worry about their job. Stay at home parents don't have that luxury. Especially when there are children involved. Half the time you dont even get to rest when you go to sleep. When I became a stay at home parent I realized it is 100x harder than working. Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting on a daily basis. So no it isn't laziness. I guarantee most of the people who think the way you do would be able to do it effectively.
job = paid.
the things that a stay at home parent must do is crazy and.. severely underappreciated.
think of this:
two kids. one is 5 and one is 7.
thats two different curriculum. two very stages of their lives in which a parent should be on top of.
lets go into details:
medical check ups. and if something goes wrong, now what?
ok lets talk about a normal fever or a cut, what do we do? how much should a 7 year old, who weighs this much and is this tall get that much of Tylenol? we've ascertain for that time being tylenol is still safe for children. coz we've looked it up. yeah, we called our doctors, googled enough,
nevermind, the weird negative stuff, think of.. a birthday party, just something simple, a get together for the two siblings and their friends. oh wait, again, these kids are at different grades. lets send out invites, to whom? there are little "goodies" to pack together, whats inside those goodies bags? it must be "nice" for everyone. catering, saying you dont have to cook actually. lets now arrange catering.
now, emotionally during a party, things will go wrong, do we have enough adults around, and what time does this end so cleaning can be done? and they're children remember, so sleep according to schedule is very very important to them. or else. i mean even as adults, sleep is important.
remember cleaning: youre lucky if youve got a helper, most stay at home parents dont.. laundry, whos lost what, whos tired to the point of just acting out coz yeah, get them to bed, oh and yeah, that kitchen is a wreck.
ok, now a lot of things have been used for that one party, parties are like that. plan as you are waiting on the laundry, and pick up a stray shoe from the party, you need a whole list of things to get from different places. order online you say? what about budget? we aren't all the musk family.
okay, thats all done, youre just putting your feet up, and the 5 year old is awake, the 5 year old is irritable from losing sleep, see, set bed time and pratice is important.
does that sound manageable? thats just one in .. many examples.
your spouse gets home and ridiculously, "have you seen my..."
you keep your cool, coz children needs a good example (and a good sleep) but .........
@@TheCastedone
does she do things specific to his workplace requirements to reduce his workload?
At a job you get to go home and rest. Sahms work 24/7