I'm Not Crying - Flight Of The Conchords (Lyrics)

I'm Not Crying
Flight Of The Conchords
Series One - Episode One - Sally
So, you're leaving, aren't you
I knew it when you said just then and you told me you were leaving
That's when I definitely knew
But if you're trying to break my heart
Your plan is flawed from the start
You can't break my heart, it's liquid
It melted when I met you
And as you turn around to leave
Don't turn back to me
Don't turn around and see if I'm crying
I'm not crying
I'm not crying
It's just been raining
On my face
And if you think you see some tear tracks down my cheeks
Please. Pleasee, don't tell my mates
I'm not crying
No, I'm not crying
And if I am crying
It's not because of you
It's because I'm thinking about a friend of mine you don't know who is dying
That's right, dying
These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me
I've just been cutting onions
I'm making a lasagna
For one
Oh, I'm not crying
No
There's just a little bit of dust in my eye
That's from the path that you made when you said your goodbye
I'm not weeping because you won't be here to hold my hand
For your information there's an inflammation in my tear gland
I'm not upset because you left me this way
My eyes are just a little sweaty today
They've been looking around, a lot
Searching for you
They've been looking for you
Even though I told them not to
These aren't tears of sadness
They're tears of joy
I'm just laughing
Ha ha ha-ha ha
I'm sitting at this table called love
Staring down at the irony of life
How come we've reached this fork in the road
And yet it cuts like a knife
I'm not crying
I'm not crying
I'm not cry-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-ing

[@Sephiralen]

"How come we've reached this fork in the road
And yet it cuts like a knife"
Actually a reeaally good line haha

[@quantumblip4715]

Yep

[@acasualbeancan246]

Sephiralen That line was masterful.

[@drcmac]

🔹️ Yes, very descriptive & well thought out. It requires excellent lateral thinking skills to come up with these ideas for song lyrics.

[@Iggonic]

Agreed

[@zagorith14]

"What I really want is an Australian." Ouch

[@wseam1]

Some people just say awful things

[@cynthiarowley719]

Do you know some? 😮

[@Kristoph-69-69]

She wants a kangaroo?

[@liamrokocoko]

"You can't break my heart, it's liquid
It melted when I met you" brilliant!!!

[@nijnij3988]

You're not the only one who likes it. Love those little impressed noises Jermaine makes after saying that line 😅

[@RainDrops12113]

Sometimes...I listen to this song and laugh my face off
Sometimes...I listen to this song and cry like a baby
Only a really great song can do that.

[@MrSimilee]

This is one of the best written songs of all time. Period. I had the privilege of seeing these guys live at Forest Hills a few years ago, it was everything I expected and more.

[@lilyallen6331]

This makes my first heartbreak a little less painful

[@DerekWiedenheft]

One of the best shows of all time in my opinion

[@Mimuxuu]

I looked someone elses playlist for Empowering Break-Up songs and this song was in it hahahaha

[@pandecoco2245]

that's fantastic. haha

[@sarahamilton275]

Every time I make lasagna this song plays over and over in my head…

[@schattentaenzerin]

Same. Mixed with Jemaine's bit about making a nutritious meal in "tears of a rapper" 😁

[@wseam1]

For one…

[@trollthis]

I love how deep they actually go with their songs even through comedy relief its quite refreshing i mean if i had to be told i was dying, i would love flight of the conchords to tell me i think it would be more uplifting

[@Lucrative_24]

I'm not, weeping cuz you won't be here to hold my hand
For your information, theres an inflammation in my tear gland.. Genius! LOL!!

[@booksRmylife1042]

"I'm not crying… It's just raining… On my face!" Haha, I love that :P

[@horseyhead2]

This song was the funniest bit in the film "The Pirates." Hilarious!

[@thisisdoza]

Theres just a little bit of dust in my eye, from the path that you made wheny ou said your goodbyes. im not crying cuz you wont be here to hold my hand, for your information theres an inflamation in my tear gland! im not upset because you left me this waaay, my eyes are just a little sweaty tday...pure class!

[@ikybaiiki]

heard this on Pirates movie those lasagne lyrics had me cracking up 😂

[@LastFirstism]

"How come we've reached this fork in the road and yet it cuts like a knife?" Possibly my favorite FOTC line ever, ROFL.

[@warnation101]

This is my most favorite song from them.

[@potatostew9030]

I first heard this song in the move Pirates and it's been a meme in my family ever since. Lmao 😂

[@tinntinnamp]

Haha.. Iv'e seen this so many times and just realized the girls said what she really wanted was an Australian. I am dying! I love New Zealand accent.. my favorite. Did y'all know that Murry plays on the one of the new X File episodes? It's hilarious, he is an alien who turns into a human.

[@ciderfan823]

She goes on to say "maybe you know some", as though he could introduce her to an Australian (or multiple Aussies).

[@LTPottenger]

Something tells me he's had this exact conversation. I have had it many times just no australia part lol

[@dumaass]

I always watch this video when I'm not crying. So good.

[@medievalknievelC001]

"How come we reached this fork in the road, but it cuts like a knife?" Wow, I've been listening for weeks, and I just now got this. Brilliant line!

[@sarahl9398]

So I grew up in this very neighborhood their show is shot at, even this scene is a mere few blocks from my place. It's incredibly nostalgic watching this and I always regret being away for college during the filming of this show 😭

[@Geraldeeen]

I believe this to be the most amazing song EVER

[@Lizziegal1]

That bit about her looking for an Australian made me lol so much! I don't think many people hear it though

[@tolgaavcu1382]

creating funny, meaningful and sad lyrics in a 3 minutes song is the real talent. not to mention the good melody.

[@JimHisself]

this song speaks to my soul, not unlike every FOTC song ever in every universe ever

[@wjeiv]

I love the tribute to Godley & Creme's "Cry" at 2:37!!

[@maryragavelas9961]

2:50 favourite part

[@favornwosu4672]

Pirates - band of misfits brought me here lol
my eyes are just a little sweaty today

[@AyngeMackay]

I'll hold you, Jemaine!

[@schattentaenzerin]

I'm still quoting "I'm making a lasagna... _For one_ ..." years later.

[@lune78]

So brilliant, like everything they do. Love the reference to Cry by Godley & Creme.

[@NotAurichu]

Why walrus whyyyyy Two-faced DX My feelsssss

[@ravefacekidd]

There's a fork in the road
and yet it cuts like a knife.
:D
my favorite part is the lasagna part!

[@angelareyes1920]

love the lyrics...perfect for broken heart!

[@mehwhyausername1]

FotC seriously has some strange fascination for cutlery utensils

[@AiraLovella]

When you’ve been crying and just really needed the perfect song for the moment.

[@chrisjanwust]

The "NO DUMPING" sign in the background

[@Neverendingriver]

The first time I heard this song I just got home from the hospital for stitches and I was on Lortab for pain. I BURST INTO TEARS WHEN I HEARD THIS SONG. xD

[@irlKimiko]

The end cracks me up every time.

[@TheBluzguy]

FOTC's finest. We miss these guys.

[@johnskrip7174]

Listened to this a billion times, can’t scroll past without listening to it. Not when “For your information there’s an inflammation in my tear gland” is here waiting for me.

[@DavidMcBrien]

I like the bit "How come we've reached this fork in the road and yet it cuts like a Knife!"

[@aherdofsheep]

im crying right now

[@ArcadeFL]

These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me
I've just been cutting onions
I'm making a lasagna
my favorite part xD they act like they are serious lol ... i love it :D

[@MikeWeber5]

(whispers) for one

[@agentorange81]

I'm not crying shaney ! Your the ones crying!

[@cynthiarowley719]

Sad and beautiful song! A real masterpiece, gentlemen. 🎉

[@XG-13]

at the end it sounds like Jermaine is gonna start singing moonman

[@mikespadafora4993]

Goodbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee moon man!

[@marlesimms]

I love at 0:55 where Jemaine has started the music video and she's still there in the background like, "hey I thought we were talking here"

[@trishaaafishaaa]

This is the laugh/happiness I really needed and I thank you deeply for putting a smile on my face. And hey, I bet that lasagna for 1 was the best one it tha beats ,(

[@baldeepssidhu]

this song is stuck in my head from last whole week... How come we've reached this fork in the road, And yet it cuts like a knife! no, i am not crying...

[@aliceeex]

This video made my 2018 100000x better

[@LassieRF]

@MissFioredipesco What an ultimate hero your english teacher was last year!

[@SethyBouy]

9 people have solid hearts

[@XneonpussyX]

awww:( when i saw bret crying i wanted to give hima big old hug

[@mrpatriots43]

have you ever seen any of these two ever smile?!?!?!?!

[@MrJeeOHH9]

the best video on utube

[@AliceandGabby]

This song made me cry... with laughter XD
"Ive been cutting onions I'm making a lasagne for one"

[@SultanaBranWthBanana]

Such an awesome movie....:D

[@SnowWings3000]

The lasagna part always gets to me..

[@TheDevilishangel123]

TWO FACED, WHY???!!

[@DaglessMc]

Armin Arlert walrus mmmmmmmmmmm

[@MissFioredipesco]

ooh myyy when our english teacher made us watch this ep last year the whole class was crying indeed..beacuse of the laughters! LOL

[@MissFioredipesco]

@LassieRF u got that right! Best american language teacher in Venice!! :)

[@pibomarco]

You can't break my heart, it's liquid
It melted when I met you

[@AlexO-sx6ff]

A lasagna for one. Story of my life.

[@felicitassa]

"I'm not cryingggggg" just dyingggggg cuz i got dumped on Christmas eve eve.😭

[@aliciacrusdal2177]

I'm not crying

[@PeteyLoops320]

one time when i was watching this my 5 yr old brother acually started crying and i just laughed in his face it was halarious

[@beetosbeef]

Kinda funny, I love this program and I'm 11.

[@theseanlegacy1795]

+I'm a huge Phan K.

[@alexhamilton8585]

I quote this song a lot. because i'm not crying. really, i swear.

[@LilPinkFuzzyMonster]

ive always had a crush on these guys :3

[@surendra011000]

so beautiful!! true feelings in song!! loved it!!

[@montzemoyeda2576]

best guys ever!

[@aracelypalacios4995]

Simplemente una obra maestra 🥺

[@hengedhymeith2589]

Masterpiece

[@gentlesoft6627]

vampire + elf = de la magie

[@puddlofpee]

omg..this is a good song

[@gibson724]

o man i was singing this song all day had to hear again. funny stuff

[@KoolIsKeith]

This song actually made me cry, haha.

[@babyinblack]

my fave part:
these aren't tears of sadness, they're tears of joy, i'm just laughing!!
Ha.. ha ha ha... haa! lol.
And you can't break this heart, it's LIQUID! It melted when I met YOU! lol good one Jemaine :P.
I love this song soo much because it's so heartfelt and funny at the same time :D.
Love the closeups too

[@wendelkin]

I will always be a Jemainiac. Makes me laugh so hard!

[@Linnel98]

This is one of the funniest things i have seen.

[@MartinWAMPAllen]

How come we've reached this for in the road and yet it cuts like a knife....... lyrical fucking gold

[@rays2794]

This is top 40 stuff, with a snicker 😂

[@thewholesomegrail6722]

And if I am crying, it’s because I’m thinking about a friend of mine who is dying. That’s right, dying 😭

[@MegaLegoboy6]

i love this song!!

[@HarryHaubitze]

im making a lasagne..... for one... !!

[@CroakerX]

Yeah, thats amazing!

[@gracee118]

fotc at it again!! too good

[@babey6189]

I been cutting onions. I'm making a LASAGNA... for one

[@PaytonRosier15]

i like this song cause im not cryin either.

[@BehindTheGoalAnalysis]

4 people have dust in their eye

[@JoseSolisLoera]

Me too! :D

[@extrantice]

I like the bit about lasagne

[@tEeNuIsFyNsT]

dahaha that's the worst thing you could say to a kiwi that you were looking for an aussie insted!! hahahaha

[@quantumblip4715]

Who else came here because of the Pirates?

[@Insomniaccat6667]

Yes that movie is my childhood but it’s still so good

[@basiatomaszewska4532]

Me 😂😂😂

[@moosezues]

OMG. THIS ROCKS.
"HA HA HAHA HAAAA"

[@AndyHocvs]

@XneonpussyX
He's not crying. He's just been cutting onions, jeez

[@12rosiecheeks]

They're so wonderful! The best is 1:23 - 1:49

[@zmile8]

nice...