***** I'm commenting on the fact that women are waiting later to have children. Which in turn has made it more difficult to for the body to physically make a child.
I love how this video clearly went over both sides of the argument and explained them both, yet allowed the viewer to form their own opinion about the issue. That kind of neutrality is hard to find in education/news sources today
I feel bad for women in this position. At One job I worked a pregnant woman came back only a week after giving birth because she couldn't afford not to. I don't want children and I feel lucky that I never felt the instinct to procreate because my country does not treat vulnerable women well.
omg yes i am so fortunate to not have the instinct to procreate especially as i have been single most of my adult life and by the way things seem to go will continue to be single most probably for the rest of my life and this is my choice i am very happy being single but the day (time frame) when I decided to not have kids was the most liberating as all the burdens n expectations of motherhood etc were lifted off of my shoulders n now i never feel the pressure b/ i never want to procreate or adopt
wtf ... women want to have a career also, they want to have a job, a social life and not being emprisonned in the house like in the mddle east. are you muslim or what ? If he gvt give more money to the family, to the mother to help to raise and take care of the kids, if men will help more and take paternity leaves , women wouldn't have to make a choice between a career and a family life. it's not feminism who did that, feminists want more money to help the women , the children , the family , they want men to be allowed to take paternity leaves as much as they women are allowed to
Why do women want a career if you want a child, you silly bitch ? Don't give birth to a child if you don't wanna look after it 24/7. Don't expect the Man to provide and look after you, because remember it's your body and your child
Why do we put pressure on women to take dangerous and expensive medical procedures instead of looking at the factors in our society and culture that are not accepting and supportive of mothers with lives, careers, and self worth ?
It's more than that though. What about women who aren't lucky in love and don't find partners to get married and have children with earlier in life. There are many women who don't even meet the right man until their 30s. Freezing eggs is good for women in those situations too.
It really is a BIG problem that women cant afford to have children at a younger age. Im lucky enough to live in a country that lets me and my bf share a full year of payed parental leave even when I have a child right after uni, without having worked. So for me it's study; have a kid(with a years leave),work for a few years- have another kid(with a years leave);work
+Artheila In which country do you think women are unable to afford to have children? The Congo or Papua New Guinea or somewhere like that? In virtually every country in the world food, clothing and shelter are cheaper than they have ever been in history, when considered in terms of the hours of worked required to afford each. It has never been cheaper or easier to raise children than it is today.
Something like 80% of people in nursing homes have zero visitors. That might not be the exact number but ask anyone who works in one, they'll tell you. Also, I could drop dead in 10 seconds and my husband is in the shower... there are zero guarantees you won't die alone.
I’ve never heard of women having that fear. Those that want to be mothers know very early usually. So that part makes sense but fear of dying alone? Nah. 😅😅😅
Dr. Marcy Darnovsky: Egg freezing is a "hyper-individualized solution to a very broad social problem that we should be tackling with changes in our social policies and cultural expectations". So true!!!
Many women freeze eggs nowadays. But speaking about me, I`m not sure it`s good idea. No one can definitely say that your eggs will be in perfect condition. Two year ago I made up my mind to freeze my cells. I`m from Belgium, so I decided to do it there. My sister is 7 years older. She also did it but four years earlier. Last year there was a horrible accident. My sister died. Our mother contacted that clinic and asked to find a surrogate mother. She wanted to have grandchildren. The clinic did 4 IVF attempts. But surrogate mother wasn`t pregnant. As appeared it was an old technology of freezing. It led to the destruction of cells. Egg freezing is not a guarantee of good result. So think thoroughly before doing it.
You are right. Egg freezing is one of the biggest mistakes in my life. I have read so many stories of people who used it. They all were satisfied with it. They had the opportunity to build a career. And then, they had enough money, they were able to give their children good future. I decided to earn money and to do it too. Just to be sure that in any case I`ll have children in future. I used this service in Spain. Hey offer quite low prices. But when last year I decided to use them, I was shocked. Well, at that moment I was 43. All IVF attempts we did gave no result. I didn`t get pregnant. Doctor said, that there`s a possibility of damage during the freezing. Why he decided to hide this information from me some years ago. Now I`m going to do ivf procedure with donor`s eggs. They will be fresh and the possibility of getting pregnant is higher. Probably in Ukraine. One of the centers offers 5 attempts for 10 000 euros. It`s my last chance.
why spend so much money on something that "may or may not" work at all , when you do it younger at a cheaper rate ? and being younger , you can endure pregnancy better. I am very sure being pregnant at an older age(compared to younger) is definitely tougher and more painful
This is insane. Woman put themselves at risk and spend so much money for a procedure that might not even work. Just wow. I feel like they’re being preyed on.
women take student loans of over 300k for their sociology education, of which when they are done they work at Macdonald. When they are 35 they take a further loan of 40k-100k or more so that they may become mothers in the near future. All these loans are in the name of strong independent women.
@@zebare726 Don’t, worry’s. Some of them will have some Simp bail them out eventually. Then when she no longer has any use for him, she’ll clean him out and live like a queen.
BMP Don't project your insecurities on women. If you have been 'cleaned out' because you were a 'simp' then that is your fault, and your responsibility - not the fault of random women you've never met.
@@kp361 Like most men, I was a simp. Never married tho, so I didn’t have to worry about getting cleaned out lol. Also in a hilarious twist of irony, you decided to project your own insecurities onto my comment. How do I know this? You automatically perceived my comment as a threat to you and the rest of whamen when clearly it wasn’t.
As a 24yo, I hate the expectation that I need to focus on family or career. If I choose to delay kids, it's not because I give one single shit about a prestigious career. I'm not going to invest my worth in feeding corporations, I'm going to spend my time developing interests and hobbies and relationships.
One thing I gotta say about this: YOU NEVER KNOW UNTIL YOU TRY. I mean, you could be 37 years old and conceive on the first try or you could be 23 years old and wind up having to go through IVF for even a small chance of conceiving and having a live birth. Fertility is such a complex issue and depends on soooo many factors, not just age. I say this as a 28-year-old woman who's been struggling to conceive since 24. TL;DR: YOU NEVER FUCKING KNOW UNTIL YOU FUCKING TRY.
@Alpha Om3gatr1x79 For the very same reason that women feel that their opinion is relevant when it comes to things like MGTOW for the same reason that there are females producing MGTOW content on RUclips
I had my first child at 22, then at 23 and my last children were at 26. I don't regret it and think I had them all at the right age. But I believe it's up to each individual woman on how and when she has her own children.
And I am SOOOO happy I got to travel and sleep in, go to school, date, be selfish, screw up, quit jobs, be lazy, be driven, mature and enjoy my 20s. Then had my baby at 30. It’s such a sweet spot. To each their own.
@paulidson1483 Omg are you for real?! 😂 I thought society was finally passed trying to scare women into giving up their lives and having kids at 25, but evidently not. I literally do not know a single person (yes ons from high school that I have on FB) who had kids before 30. Most women I know with kids had them between 33 and 37, and it worked out fine for every single one. And most women I know who break up with someone are usually quickly in a new relationship if they want to be. This woman didn’t “get lucky”. She planned and had kids at a really good time. If her relationship would have ended she would have met someone new if she made it a priority. Stop spreading bullshit.
Men date younger women, 30 yr old men don't date 30 yr old women, they will be dating 22-27 year olds. Women have a window of opportunity and they should use it, otherwise they will be freezing eggs in the hope prince charming will roll up when they are 40 and the chances of that are slim to none.
Having children and a career is difficult. Children are crazy expensive, so It's logical that women want to finish their post-secondary studies, get settled in their field and want to be financially stable before they procreate. I just turned 28 and believe I'll only be ready to have children in a few years, once I'm at a decent place in my career. My parents were poor when I was a child and I want to offer more to my children, than my parents were able to offer me.
Shelby R guess what, children aren’t that expensive. I have 5. You don’t have to give them “the best” of everything. They mostly need love and attention not all the most expensive stuff.
kanut the hunter Ah, another comment from a man who wants his woman to NEED him for basic necessities rather than choose him because she wants him. That way it is much harder for her to leave, right?
@@kp361 How insecure of a woman are you that u got offended by a person's opinion. Some people say its good to have children when you are young and some say its good to have have children when you have a stable life. There is no right answer. You don't need to be butthurt about it. So what if its a man saying it. There are plenty of women with the same opinion. What are you gonna say to them? Do you generalize everybody based on their gender. If that's the case then your a SEXIST for doing that. Work on your Insecurities and Stop Being a Sexist. What a BUM.
The kindred Soul -- does it really matter? Let’s be honest. Most men end up abandoning their families anyway so if a woman goes to the sperm bank. Not much of a difference if we were to get realistic about it 😴☕️
I am a 55 year old woman with one adult child whom I gave birth to at age 21. I completely understand the interest and desire to put off child bearing, and to take steps to preserve fertility. I believe this is happening mostly in the US, where there aren't many supports in place to help mothers succeed. Paid parental leave for new parents is almost completely absent. Child care choices are not very good, and child care workers aren't paid enough money. College funds are almost useless for a lot of people because it's very hard to save that large-dollar amount unless you are working in a very lucrative position...which generally doesn't happen until the late 30s or even later. I agree that we should be looking at ways to allow women to give birth while still in their most fertile years without making it seem like some kind of a mistake. And seriously, the last 10 or 15 minutes of this video put me in mind of axlotyl tanks. We are more than a womb! And we have a fertile womb for which we should not feel punished OR used. There has to be a better way than this. If you feel you have no alternative or that this is the best choice for you, go for it and blessings. I really hope it works out for you. Peace.
+Fukaikokro The thing is, if you are spending $40 000 on freezing your eggs, adoption can be a better option. There isn't a failing success rate and it won't be dangerous to your body with the risk that comes with hormones, and also carrying and laboring the baby.
+Annie Beach It's natural human desire to have your own babies. Not everyone want adoption, some people want their own children. Yes, they're selfish, but so what? Not everybody is a Jesus.
No, It's ACTUALLY NOT selfish. What's selfish are fertile people who keep popping out kids and put the entire burden on disabled infertile couples as if it's their problem there are so many abandon children. In reality it's fertile people's problem because they are the ones who keep pushing out babies and abadondoning them. That's pretty hypocritical that's fertile people don't adopt at all and place blame with the infertile. As if they are the sole problem... You know just because you can have your own kids ose not take the responsibility off your back. It shouldn't take away the guilt off your back! Fertile people are extremely judgemental and ignorant which leads to discrimination towards Infertile women and men. It NEEDS TO STOP!
+loveurselv2 My husband and I have been trying to adopt for 2 years now. We hope to have a child between the ages of newborn and 12 years old sometime in the next year. It's going to cost us around $60,000-$100,000 because we are adopting IN the US. It's a VERY lengthy and tedious process. :/
Maybe technological progress can help a few (wealthy) women in an individual way, but only social progress can help us reach equality. If policies on maternity leave and childcare were improved that would be a much more important step forward. Also, why wouldn't men ask themselves 'maybe it's time to take a step back from my career and take care of my family.'? When men and women are paid the same for the same jobs, it might seem normal for parents to share the amount of time spent with their kids.
You CHOOSE. You make choices in life! There is no “having it all”. There are times and seasons for everything. Biology decides that a woman has a season in which she is fertile. Take that season and have kids! You don’t have to of course but there are consequences just as there are consequences to every decision in life. You don’t need to be rich, you don’t need to give your kids all the material things. Kids need parents, kids need love, kids need attention. There’s nothing wrong with living a humble life. Having a garden. Having a simple home. Getting married. Being faithful to your spouse. Not having the richest man. This pursuit of “fulfillment” is a largely a scam. It’s often the simple, unflashy, selfless life that yields the greatest joy. I have 5 kids. It is hard work. I have to be selfless every day. Listen, I didn’t know I wanted them when I was 20 and beautiful and single and free. But that phase of life doesn’t last forever. Just believe me when I say that the older you get the more you realize that family is everything. Family is everything. If you want it you have to prioritize it above all else! I work part time from home, my husband works hard, we live in a modest home, we live within our means, we have a garden, we make our food stretch, we don’t eat out a bunch, but we have a beautiful family and beautiful children. If you want it you can make it work but there is a window! It doesn’t need to be a battle or about inequality! It’s a beautiful thing to be at home raising your OWN FAMILY! it’s a privilege.
turning 30 on Dec 20 .. kids are not even in my mind .. just about to start MBA/MPH (got sciences and nursing degree already) no all women want kids ..
believe me im more then happy .. im in cloud nine that i get accepted to this program. I experiences happiness different then you .. what makes you happy may not make happy and vice versa...
its actually arrogant that u think I dont have fulfilling life now .. there is million of ppl without kids by choice and they lead positive life .. they even have more impact in the world then ppl who simple just have kids !! I lead inspiring life as HIV nurse in remote northern community in Canada .. it brings me joy to help ppl in need .. (money aside), the reward I feel after every day shift is unimaginable !! im not asking you to choose my path but all Im asking is to actually open your eyes and realize kids are not the only thing to do in life .. there is other roles you can take on that can be as fulfilling if not more !!
see that your goal .. my goals are different I was 14 when i was day dreaming about being CEO for public health agancy. girls around that time all they want was boyfriend I just want to educate myself and get to the top .. didnt change till now !! I have great family we are 6 siblings all live together. my youngest sisters are 17 and 15 .. im their older sister, mother, best friend !! definition of family differs from one person to another I have my own family it may not be same as yours but never the less its family. !!
I don't want kids but when I'm much older, I might open up a house for foster kids. I wish more people would consider adoption if they want kids but can't have them.
18:05 "Consumers" she calls them consumers- and even though they are...consumers/customers...its still creepy to hear her say it. They're really selling something not empowering or any of those pretty sounding buzz words.
I'm astounded that a woman would stay in a relationship with a guy for 5 years knowing all the time that he didn't want children.. all the while she knows she DOES want them..SMH!! I would have been like "buh bye" after a few months. Ain't nobody got time for fools who don't want to be a father... there's always more fish in the sea. I'd be like.. bye Philippe... NEXT!!
@@sebastep They're not but your life goals should somewhat line up. Not wanting kids and wanting kids is a big decision that can leave both parties deeply unsatisfied
Tracy is my favourite Broadly journalist. Her interviews are professional, engaging and personable. This was really insightful and kind of difficult to watch - egg freezing always sounded like a miracle solution to fertility challenges, I guess not.
I love how no one here seems to consider the possibility that not anyone who considers egg freezing is a rich white career woman who "just wants more time". there are many things that can negatively affect fertility. if a woman gets diagnosed with cancer the chemotherapy or radiation treatmeant could make her infertile. there may be conditions that require surgery which would render the reproductive system defunct or at least severely reduce chances of a pregnancy. there are a lot of other medical conditions with this effect. Egg freezing could be a way for these women to retain the possibility of a pregnancy even if they are unexpectedly hit by a medical condition they have no control over. this could help people beyond just 'lifestyle'. but of course the people here just want to complain about how 'selfish' the women are who consider this treatment or how it's 'against nature'. funny how the last bit is always brought up with women's reproductive issues. if that really were the issue people would be dying left and right of hypertension, diabetes and literally every cancer there is but weirdly what's 'natural' suddenly isn't an issue then anymore...
I'm curious as to the eventual outcome of the procedure. Say, hypothetically, you have your eggs frozen at 25. At 40 you and your partner decide to have a baby. But, would you have had to be on hormones this entire time to maintain your entire body in a pre-menopausal, fertile state? I think there are more issues and health requirements to having a baby than just the eggs.
After readign down the comments, I agree with some others in that why not adopt? Why the need to have children of your own, especially when you are older
+Claudia Stocks adoption is just as expensive and it's a long process, so I guess people decide to do this as an option also. Some women want to experience pregancy.
Adoption needs to be made more efficient and easier for able and caring parents. The US also needs to work through international agreements and norms for international adoption. We've screwed up so many times that countries are banning American parents from adopting and that's just a lose-lose situation.
I have to give credit to the advertising industry. You convinced women to say no on their biology in order to make longer profit and more employees, very smart of you. 👏👏
@@methodOW What are you talking about? Egg freezing is a way to help preserve fertility before those conditions rob a woman of her fertility through cancer treatment or surgery for endometriosis.
Suuuuper late to this video, but “consumers…patients..same thing?” Edit: also, you have to pay $15k to go through hormonal hell to collect the eggs, then pay the storage fee, then meet the right guy (or gal or by yourself if you decide to raise your children as a single mom by choice) who wants to procreate via IVF that costs another $10-15k per embryo, and that’s if you’re lucky to have the eggs thaw correctly, be fertilized correctly, develop into a healthy embryo with no defects, and then implant successfully.
i think it's a shame that women can't have their family lives with kids and then go back and have a career 10-20 years later. We live so long nowadays that it should be fine to start a career at the age of 35-45. Just a year out of the workforce for a kid makes women so unemployable... i think the statistics are that they are 50% less employable as a result. :/
Feeling blessed having had my son at 23. I'm now 25 and all my friends are single and childless and I wonder if I should have waited. But deep down I know it was right and I will never ever regret having my son.
Alicia Johnson -- women in their early 20’s never regret not having kids at that age. That’s your best years. You can say what you want to make yourself feel better but having a baby at 23 isn’t the business 😴
If all the news media outlets on TV hadn't eliminated their investigative journalism departments in 2012, we might be able to see more stories like this one - doing the job of actually telling a real story that needs to be told, articulately and efficiently.
Isn't procreation one of the strongest biological urges we humans have? I mean, it says something about the society we live in, when this urge of procreation is being compromised.
saying that's an only 50 % - 60% chance of actually working ... while the other 50%-40% of women still paid one hell of a lot of money WOULDN'T WORK ... that's mind blowing
The world is so messed up right now. I guess this is the best available solution for a bad situation but it’s sad. I’d lost my dad by my mid twenties and my mum by my mid thirties. I never got to sort my life out and look after my parents, and I don’t feel they got to die in peace knowing I’d be ok. I too had my daughter pretty late, actually just before my mom passed, and I worry about the pressure she’ll feel at wanting to look after me when I get old, and I hope she gets to live a little first, or at the same time.
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+Katharina Schmidt Thank you! Excellent point! There are too many people in the world right now. I'm anticipating women will complain "I don't want someone else's kid/some other ethnicity/some possibly dysfunctional brewing in them"/blah blah blah. In other words = I want to pass my genetics on so my child is from my egg = MY genetics are SO special they HAVE to be preserved for future generations! The majority of kids, do best when there is a mother and a father present in the home. I, am not against same sex couples raising kids, or against single mothers. But simply, this notion of "Women want it all (just like those MEN)",...Ugh. I can only speak for myself. I don't want kids. I didn't have kids. I adopted a 13 year old cat 11 years ago and I truly love him. Simply be thankful for what you have. Especially if you have your health.
I hate when interviewees from companies beat around the bush about statistics. You can hear when asked about the statistics of the success rates the Egg Banks lady just goes off on a different tangent to avoid the question.
Great documentary. Very informative. Raises a lot of questions about modern work and living standards. Women are still not given the opportunity to have children without loosing money. People need to able to have kids. We are human beings with lives, not work robots or corporate slaves.
How about updating the feminist ideology to encourage women the have children in their 20s so not so many women are suffering in their 30s and 40s or are you feminist more concerned about big corporate profits ?
Why should women give up their youths to look after everyone else. Who else does that? Women should have the opportunity to fulfil their own desires too. Not everything has to revolve around extending your line. And we are realising that more every single day 😅😴
I remember I asked my mom that i wanted to freeze my eggs because I was scare not be able to have more children later on bc I have pcos and had a tumour in my right ovary that I lost few eggs under surgery. But I got pregnant naturally and Im happy for it, never though it would happen even the state was willing to give 3 ivf for free(In sweden they give for those who cant get pregnant over a year) . I feel sorry for few people who done to much abortion younger age and when they decide to have baby they can't.. I know this girl who is younger than me (im 27) had 5 abortion and now she cant get pregnant and had passed over 2 years.. And the state doesnt want to offer ivf because she was able to get pregnant before and now she have to save alots of money to her ivf and theres no garantee if it will work.
When I got married at 43 a few months later I fell pregnant but it didn’t happen . The next year I found a lump . It turned out to be breast cancer and in passing my oncologist said the chemo would put me into early menopause . We put the breaks on and made my oncologist make a cold call to the leading fertility doctor in the UK . We met her that Sunday and she explained that she could harvest my eggs but as my cancer was hormone receptive after the procedure I had to start my chemo 48 hours later . I had only one small window of 12 days to harvest . If I had known that this was going to be my life I would have done this 10 years previously as of course I was 43 and I didnt have as many eggs to fertilise and freeze . My eggs would also be and stay the same age as they were when harvested . Just liked a good malt whisky they stay that age and I would have more and younger eggs . Men just keep reproducing sperm , women only have so many eggs . Unfortunately although I had a good ‘Ixi ‘ (defrosting process) I wasn’t able to carry the embryo because of my age and that I had to have my womb, which had shrunk as I had gone into a menopause, It had to be enlarged again with the female hormones which was still dangerous for me but it was a risk I was willing to take. I really wanted to be a mum and I was in a male dominated career and I found myself looking at younger females and telling them to think about doing it . This isn’t promoted as much here in the UK and when I froze my eggs/embryos it cost £100 per year for 10 years then they advise that you must use them before the 10 yrs are up . If I knew the options open to me when I was in my 20’s I definitely would have frozen my eggs . All those periods and lost eggs and all those years making sure I didn’t get pregnant . I wish I’d known .
Amazing documentary, thank you. A part that could be done as s follow up and to show what women go through is to follow at least one woman through the roller-coaster of an IVF. The emotions, the angst, the hope, the joy, the crumbling... It is a tough experience.
I see the saddo MGTOW brigade are out in force - the ones who claim they have given up on women, but actually think of nothing but them. Why don't you live up to your promise and 'go your own way'? You won't be missed from either the dating pool or the gene pool.
As a woman in the US I’m afraid of two things 1: That my children will be poor 2: That I’ll never have children at all. I fear the former thing because it is so unstable to have a child financially...my husband could leave me and the children, my husband could die suddenly without warning. In the United States if you suddenly become a single parent you’re fucked because there is NO help for single parents here. I’d become a single mom and have to work three jobs and I wouldn’t be able to see my children grow up because I’d be working just to put a roof over their head. The only way to guarantee that my children won’t be poor if I suddenly became single is for me to wait until I have a high paying career...but if I wait that long I may not be able to have children at all, which is the second fear. For people reading this understand that a lot of women put off motherhood not because they are selfish, but because they want to make sure their children never end up in poverty...which is hard to guarantee in the United States :(
I just checked the SART report and that woman is incorrect. The rate for women over 42 (keep in mind least likely to get pregnant, may have been older when eggs were frozen and/or may not have had eggs frozen in the most modern fashion) is still 19.6%.
I am man, but would like to say woman have been deceived by feminism big time. If a woman is ready to spend time on money on this. Why can't she just spend the same for finding the right guy. I have the highest respect to housewives. My wife and my mom is one. My woman Clearly understands she can't have it all. Life is a compromise in the pursuit of happiness
It's possible she just doesn't want to be a housewife. You and many other see value in living that lifestyle, but many others don't. Similar to how I have no interest in becoming a doctor, I have no interest in being a housewife.
I am infertile. Wish I had the choices normal women do. To delay having a kid. Just to be a normal woman sounds wonderful. But alas. I am a defect. A broken soul, with a broken body. Why is it that in life when you really, really I mean REALLY want something, you need get it. But when you don't seem to care it shows up on your door step. That's my life with fertility and yearning to be a mom but will never have that. I am 24 and the clock is ticking. Never gave a second thought that infertility would destroy me entirely.
Thank you SO much for your inspiring words of wisdom :) It's just really hard to get over. Especially when you experence a lot of isolation and distance from others who just don't understand the amount of mental anguish and grief. God would I love too feel empowered and get over this lump in life! Because It feels like when you can't / choose not to have kids people cut you out of their lives because they have kids and you don't. I have been isolated from a lot of my family and friends, when I was a kid it was all great and dandy but now that I am older just feels like they can't be around me because I am "defected" and "abnormal" or hate kids and Because they "need" to have relationships only with other parents as if I am a terrible person. I feel so broken because of people's general treatment of infertility / people who choose not to have kids. As if it makes you abnormal or a "bad" person. I REALLY wish in society that stigma would go away as it would make going through this struggle ALOT easier to mentally deal with. It's just also hard getting over mourning the loss of what could have been. That's another really challenging thing to deal with. Is the grief that comes along with it and the lack of support.
stay strong. I will never able to understand how it is to be infertile. In my case i wish I can have a child under my circumstances. But I dont even get the chance to do it because of no partner or partner doesnt want a child. I feel I will regret if I didnt even try. If for example know now, I wont be infertile. Okay that it is. But regret to never do it even you have the chance to do it, its sad .
I will definitely be sending out wishes for healing and for a future child birth soon.. I send prayers your way. You poor woman. My geuine condolences for your struggles. I will also pray for a good, faithful, traditional, committed man for you or whoever wants that.
Are there any negative side affects from hyper stimulating the ovaries sometimes more than once? Also, are there unintended side affects from subjecting our bodies to so many artificial hormones? Full disclosure is extremely important when we make these decisions.
Well I've lived through this. I was the child at the bedside of one of my parents while they died. They "bought/adopted" me. Nothing wrong with it. It's incredibly lonely. The parent who died was 82 so they lived a fairly long life. It's sad to be an orphan again!
It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable in the least. I want to die surrounded by my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren... Just like I was there for my me maw and I laid her out for her wake and funeral. I was with her for her last breath and it was actually a beautiful experience.
I got married at 16 and been married for 11 years, we have 3 beautiful girls together and a baby boy on the way and I couldn’t be happier, I love being a mom so much and wouldn’t change it for the world. I also run my own embroidery business and my husband has his own business too. Who said you can’t have it all.
What's the problem with being 60 with teenagers? I bet a lot of men would have nothing to say about this if it was a father of that age. Maybe don't comment on things which don't concern you.
@@Traceyi1000 Not really. Donald Trump is 70 something with a healthy teen son. If a young woman freezes her eggs and used them when she’s in her 40’s what’s the difference?
Mario - It is not as simple as that. There are lots of medical conditions (including endometriosis and cancer) which can prematurely rob a young woman of her fertility. This is a way round that.
Life is expensive. A lot of adults are holding off on a lot of things... families, buying homes. It is unfortunate that nature isn’t on our side when it comes to waiting. I’m 30 and know I don’t have much longer to wait but I’m still not where I want to be financially. I’m just stuck right now.
Great video! But what a lot of people don't know about is post-pregnancy freezing which is where you take a baby from 6 weeks old to up to 18 months old and cryogenically freeze them until you are financially, physically, or domestically, willing/able to deal with a child. This is actually a fantastic option for women who decided against having an abortion but thought better of it after birth.
Sweet friends and fellow childless women in their 30s, what is so wrong with adoption? SO MANY babies in this overpopulated world need a loving home. Whatever the cause be (career, or like in my case not being in a trusting relationship), why resort to this expensive and painful procedure rather than adopt? We humans can be so selfish in doing it just to have a mini me if thats the case.
I agree the last stat I saw for adoptable kids in the US was over 100,000 and in the foster system, it was 500,000. Adopting costs just as much as what they're doing and doesn't have the failure rate of IVF and egg freezing cause there already is a child.
When you really want to be a mother and have children and you have the deep desire to live your life for a child it doesn’t matter if it’s a biological child or an adopted one. So... I always wonder if these ladies who are willing to spend this kind of money to get pregnant have actually the vocation to be a mother. It doesn’t matter if a child has your blood or not. It’s like a pet, some people love their dogs as children and as far as I know they don’t have a genetic connection.
Sometimes (often) people do want to have children who are their own flesh and blood. There's nothing wrong with that, it's natural. Simply telling people to adopt is rarely actually advocated by people who HAVE adopted (a noble endeavour for anyone who chooses that, but they know it is not as simple as you are suggesting, and understand it's unique challenges and benefits). It is also rarely ever advocated by people who have struggled with their own fertility.
Ultimately choosing between career and family is question of values. While i am not woman, i am single dad of two who chose kids over career, so i do have -some- idea of it. Anyhow, even if one could have perfectly healthy kids at age of 90 years, there is the small question whether one wants to be around and sound in both body and mind to see the possible grandkids or not :)
If it is a choice between dying with a complete dead-end on your family tree, and dying with only being able to see your immediate generation of children, I think being alive to see grandchildren is the LEAST of your concern.
4 года назад+1
You can freez eggs as much as you like, but you still need male sperm to get the egg to hatch. No one is thinking about the other half, you do need a man in there somewhere, and what man wants to get some over the hill, 40 year old woman pregnant? Noooooo I dont think so
12:50 and 13:10 sums it up, it all comes down to personal choices, she brought all of that upon herself. That's just how it is for most women. When she was in her early and mid-twenties she could've made other choices, her choices in relationships could have been different and probably she would have had kids by 29. I know some women in similar situations who now realize they didn't make good choices when they had the chance and now they wish they had the opportunities they didn't take
It does not always come down to 'personal choices' and even when it does, why do you have such a problem with people seeking a contingency plan? She paid for it herself, why does it concern you? Lots of medical conditions including cancer and endometriosis can prematurely rob a woman of her fertility, nothing to do with her 'choice' in those instances. Lots of young men also harbour the delusion that they can act like kids until they're 40 and then impregnate a 25 year old, only to be disappointed / find out about male fertility degradation with age (which is also a thing) or end up bitching about women being whores and goldiggers because they are, as men, incapable of a normal relationship with a woman who is their equal. We could all play the blame game, but it is a lot more healthy to live and let live.
Going to egg freezing parties, sipping cocktails and lookin business and smart instead of finding a good hot guy, hit the sack, have fun and make babies...these women' s logic beats me
Ava -- Not every woman has the desire to procreate with bums. Ok? Many leave that for the desperate, uneducated, Low income ghetto/ trailer trash women who don’t mind spreading their legs for thugs and occupying their ovaries with poverty sperm 💅🏽☕️ A guy being ‘hot’ doesn’t mean he will be a good provider and family man. Your comment was sooo basic. It’s troubling. 😴
Not really as simple as you describe it. This isn’t a movie. Some women would rather not be locked in a relationship at 20 and want to experience their first few adult years seeing the world before they settle down immediately
I think it's wonderful they are trying to empower women by giving them a choice for when they want children and with whom, but I think it gets a bit selfish to only want a Dna replication of yourself when there are thousands of children, not just around the world, in America who are in dire need of being adopted, my best friend was adopted and I don't see how anyone could love someone less just because they aren't their own actual biological child. If you have $40,000 and clearly more money, there's no reason why you can't, even if you are single, and it still gives you the same empowerment and choice and I think it's more meaningful and you're helping the world and humanity. It also makes me sad how so many young women shun a family structure or being a young mother, I chose to be a young mother, had a home birth because I'm healthy and my daughter is healthy and I can breastfeed and it was a mindful decision, I'm tired of feeling belittled by that, there is nothing wrong with wanting a family also. I think the real issue is the as a society we don't feel it is important to help women or children and leave it I all up to them, obviously it is hard financially but the love my daughter brings to my life greatly out weighs that, and I am still able to continue my dreams in life and school. I think we are dancing on a dangerous line. I mean none of these women even talk about adoption, do they even consider it? It makes me really sad.
Unfortunately it is true that many people cannot love another's child like their own. Might not be you, and I'm not taking sides either, but just saying that it is true that it can be hard to love an adopted child like your own.
Then maybe they should reconsider even having children in the first case since there's already overpopulation. I think we need more SELFLESS parents in the world. And what of foster parents? Do they not love their foster kids too, I've met so many wonderful foster parents who love their foster kids as their own and continue for the rest of their lives. These women also didn't seem very emotionally stable, seemed very codependent, I don't think people understand what being a parent is, it's just about love, everything else is pretty null and void. Especially when it comes to biology, how petty. I'm sure many people feel like you, which is why we need a serious transformative shift in how we view children. This shit is disgusting to me.
Aaliyah Leveau Lol, you can't be replying to me, can you? I don't know why you're appearing to be very upset. You asked why they don't consider adoption, and I gave you an answer based on experience. Personally, I am actually pro-adoption and think that all children who are orphaned or in situations where they cannot be looked after should be loved as best as possible, therefore it is very much unwarranted that you should call me petty and everything else here, when I was a very neutral party giving an anecdote. Of course foster parents can love their children, that is why they chose to be foster parents, and also there are people who can love adopted children. The sad truth is that not everyone believes they can love a child that is not theirs, therefore they choose not to dabble in the lives of these orphaned children, and that's why you get people doing what is described in this documentary. I'm just providing you with a neutral opinion. Don't presume that you have opposition before you realize that you don't. Be at peace.
Thanks for the essay, and I do think your reply was petty, if that's neutral then yeah we live in a fucked up society. I really don't care about your long angry replies you probably typed breathing heavily over your keyboard. And yeah when you say people can't love a child who isn't their own in the same way, again I emphasize WHY ARE YOU WANTING TO BE A PARENT. and you took it so personally, clearly it was to people who think that way, I'm already over your emotional response, don't take think so personally it's RUclips. Peace out.
Aaliyah Leveau Well, I see by your indeed very passionate response that you don't want to address the reasons I have given, but instead prefer to make your own inferences, in all capital letters. Honestly, be at peace, and don't shove your own heavy breathing into my lungs, lol! :) I could certainly provide more information on the reasons why people don't choose to adopt, but I don't think that would be useful as you're quite thoroughly convinced that everyone who open-mindedly accepts ideas other than yours is part of a f*cked up society (which, as you put it, you may not be part of). In that case, I think you should retire from RUclips and foster children from abused homes, to do your part. It's a good thing to do, indeed it is, and as I just said in my previous comment which you failed to read, I am all supportive of adoption. And again as you failed to see from my comment, I do not wish to be a parent, so I wonder why you're typing that sentence in capital letters. Don't associate formality with emotion. I will write, and I will argue, and I will always, always read someone's comment before replying to them. Anyway, this isn't a good debate, so I'm out of here. Again, please be at peace.
This video seems to attract all kinds of creatures looking for validation of their questionable life choices and taking delight in other people's life struggles. If you are such a happy teen mom/ MGTOW/ RP why are you so invested in this? Go enjoy your own life
Not to mention whether or not the female body can still sustain pregnancy when the woman finally decides to have a child; the body will have gone through many drastic changes between the time of freezing and the time of pregnancy, on average, I'm sure. Many of these women are freezing to try to have a child after they no longer can get pregnant naturally, as they spent their most fertile years on their career, they have to hope to try and find the man they want to reproduce with now with a pretty serious time clock. Of course, this is all under the assumption that she's not opting for artificial insemination via a donor, which, that whole situation just makes me cringe, although I'm SO morally obligated to allow anyone to do with their own body what they wish that although personally abhorrent, publically/politically I must support a woman's right to do this. It is no one's right to tell another what they can or can not do with their body, and yes that includes putting drugs into said body(although if you then get behind the wheel of a car, now you've put the public in jeopardy and that is where the crime comes in). I'm all for the option, just be smart about it. Use it wisely.
I'm looking forward to the day when we can just pay a nice reputable company to drop a fertilized ova in a "womb bag" and 9 months later take the baby home, with no muss no fuss and no biological ordeal. What a blessing it would be to all women to have the horrible ordeal of pregnancy and birth removed forever.
Freezing eggs is kinda stupid, reason such as its pricey and doesnt guaranty you will have a kid in the future, even if you freeze your eggs at an early age how will you be sure the facilities you keep the eggs in will not have an electrical malfunction and all the eggs become cooked because of inadequate freezing, if your eggs are young and healthy but you become old your body might not even be able to handle carrying a fetus till maturity, your body is like a car when you are 16-30 its like the new car everything works and between 30-45 its like a used car the electronics start going bad same with your body the plumbing start to age and not function properly eventually turning into Chernobyl where its barren and uninhabitable for anything including getting pregnant.
As much as I respect women for wanting to give birth to their child, there are SO many children out there waiting to be adopted. I get frustrated when women freak out about their 'ticking clocks' when they can adopt when they decide they are ready for kids. Just seems quite selfish to only want a genetic copy of themselves rather than just a child to call their own.
i can only speak about germany but here its not even possible to adopt if you're not married. and the whole process lasts years and if your over 40-something you are not even allowed to apply. so its not easy. my sister is currently 36 and not able to conceive but she could not apply for adoption since she is not married and is self employed. so i'd ay the adotion system is also extremely flawed.
cypressunlimited I wouldn't say so because it's just risk control out of a sense of responsibility. When the statistics tells that more than half of the criminals were raised by a single or a divorced parent, you wouldn't give them permission to adopt either.
I think adopt is a great way , too. But in reality its easier to get pregnant and bear your own child then to adopt. There are so many factors involved and you need to be rich to adopt.
Also, a my moms coworker, a surgeon at ucsf, his wife went through this, and they had twin boys, because multiple fetuses are common, and after 3 months they both died a few days apart, was it worth it? And for what, to know that that was your biological child, they could have adopted a perfectly healthy child and not paid out of pocket for all of the medical expenses and that child would have a ticket to college, imagine that, paying it forward for one child if each person who wants this considers that first, there would be significant changes in the world and how we view children as a whole regardless if they are our "family"
Ok..so.. ?? I know literally DOZENS of healthy babies born from this technology and happy parents.. so.. adoption, surrogacy, eggl freezing.in the end there's plenty of ways to be a parent. I still think good old fashioned marriage and natural conception is the best.. we live though, in a Brave New World.. for better or worse..
Women should be able to decide when they want to have a child. Adoption is good because it shows that we are willing to love a child that is not their own. However, a child will always look for their biological parent because that is where they came from and it is human nature to want to connect to your original parents. No matter how you look at it women in this society do not have any real options. There are no good men left who want to settle down and have a family. They just want a girlfriend not a wife because they don't want to grow up. I understand that women have a biological clock and they want to be able to have kids. My advice to women is to educate yourselves when you are young. Teach your daughter's to value knowledge as well as building a family. Women are intelligent they know what they are doing when they postpone having a baby for so long.
Are you really grown up? You bought the bullshit of feminism.You are the same feminist who act like man untill your 30's then you suddenly start acting like women. If a man has option to get married to a younger woman or with you ,definitely he will choose where he don't have to struggle to see his own race.Go on girl you can have it all ! And be ready to spend your time with a cat.
I'm adopted and my I have no desire to meet my biological parents. If they didn't want me then I don't want them. I love my parents because they're always there for me. This is incredibly insulting.
Yep, like a fish needs a bicycle Reality is that majority of people will have a mediocre life with mediocre jobs, if you’re lucky. That’s a big sacrifice for a mundane existence. Don’t waste your youthful & fertile years because the decline is steep and dramatic post 25
@@painiscupcake8856 'fefail' isn't a word, incel. I realise you and your boys have your own made up language (it's all quite homoerotic) but the rest of the world is not obligated to acknowledge it.
Every women’s decision for wanting to freeze her eggs is incredibly personal. Whether it’s the impending biological clock, unforeseen fertility issues at a young age, being diagnosed with cancer, or just simply wanting to be pro-active in your 30’s - putting your eggs on ice is a decision that inevitably comes with a lot of soul searching. Whether you are in a relationship or single, you never know what the future is going to bring. Figuring out whether or not to invest in freezing your eggs is a very personal decision that takes time to evolve. If you’re like me, you might actually have to decide to freeze your eggs, before you and your partner REALLY decide together whether you want to bring a child into this world. However, as a career-driven, independent woman, at some point it dawns on you, you really hope you can make it ALL happen within the proper window of time. Well I still have time to think about it. Maybe I really should first try IVF with fresh eggs in the East Europe like in Kiev. Then if it is failed try to freeze my eggs.
So perfectly healthy women do this to themselves. Make this shit make sense to me. Personally I don't want a frozen egg to form part of the genesis of my child.
women dont understand what men want or value in a partner. they keep thinking men want what women want. It's simply not the case. we want youth and beauty. We dont give a damn about their careers. They still dont get that.
@@taasch2505 They want careers so they can be financially secure as well. Back then it was normal that men have careers while women raise the family, but nowadays in the west it seems that only one income doesn’t make the cut anymore.
@@isamaree7346 one income doesnt cut it anymore because when women entered the workforce the doubled the amount of the working population, thus removing the value of the individual worker, thus leaving wages stagnate, thus CEOS laughing their asses off as they can double their profits while giving nothing to their workers. It was a scheme all along.
@@taasch2505 Yes I agree. That’s the main reason why I would rather work a small part time job instead of spending a fortune on student loans to pursue a career that will only end up paying me 20k a year. I’d rather be a stay at home mom and have kids while I’m young, and then live out my middle aged life when my kids are grown up.
It's incredibly difficult to have a child now. Not only physically but financially as well.
***** I'm commenting on the fact that women are waiting later to have children. Which in turn has made it more difficult to for the body to physically make a child.
+sean weldon I agree. I'm in no way saying it was not difficult in the past.
And the fact that women who have children later tend to experence more complications during pregnancy!
+FerriBerri I don't think anything physically changed, are bodies are pretty much the same, and we have more financial aid than before.
And you can thank feminism for that...
I love how this video clearly went over both sides of the argument and explained them both, yet allowed the viewer to form their own opinion about the issue. That kind of neutrality is hard to find in education/news sources today
I was just about to leave the same comment. I just watched this and am really impressed with the journalism and neutrality. Good work Broadly!
They think a baby will fulfill them,forget the kids feelings
I feel bad for women in this position. At One job I worked a pregnant woman came back only a week after giving birth because she couldn't afford not to. I don't want children and I feel lucky that I never felt the instinct to procreate because my country does not treat vulnerable women well.
omg yes i am so fortunate to not have the instinct to procreate especially as i have been single most of my adult life and by the way things seem to go will continue to be single most probably for the rest of my life and this is my choice i am very happy being single but the day (time frame) when I decided to not have kids was the most liberating as all the burdens n expectations of motherhood etc were lifted off of my shoulders n now i never feel the pressure b/ i never want to procreate or adopt
wtf ... women want to have a career also, they want to have a job, a social life and not being emprisonned in the house like in the mddle east. are you muslim or what ? If he gvt give more money to the family, to the mother to help to raise and take care of the kids, if men will help more and take paternity leaves , women wouldn't have to make a choice between a career and a family life. it's not feminism who did that, feminists want more money to help the women , the children , the family , they want men to be allowed to take paternity leaves as much as they women are allowed to
Why do women want a career if you want a child, you silly bitch ? Don't give birth to a child if you don't wanna look after it 24/7.
Don't expect the Man to provide and look after you, because remember it's your body and your child
Chill out. Why are you shitting on women so much dude?
omg yes
Why do we put pressure on women to take dangerous and expensive medical procedures instead of looking at the factors in our society and culture that are not accepting and supportive of mothers with lives, careers, and self worth ?
It's more than that though. What about women who aren't lucky in love and don't find partners to get married and have children with earlier in life. There are many women who don't even meet the right man until their 30s. Freezing eggs is good for women in those situations too.
It really is a BIG problem that women cant afford to have children at a younger age. Im lucky enough to live in a country that lets me and my bf share a full year of payed parental leave even when I have a child right after uni, without having worked.
So for me it's study; have a kid(with a years leave),work for a few years- have another kid(with a years leave);work
Why are you so self-entitled?
Exactly!
+Artheila In which country do you think women are unable to afford to have children? The Congo or Papua New Guinea or somewhere like that? In virtually every country in the world food, clothing and shelter are cheaper than they have ever been in history, when considered in terms of the hours of worked required to afford each. It has never been cheaper or easier to raise children than it is today.
"Patients and consumers, that's the same thing" yeah right, I don't like the marketing of this.. It's obvious they advertise it.
Jitsefy when she said that I was “no it’s not the same 😓 what because either way you make money 🤨
In the words of Childish Gambino "This is America".
Women's insecurities of dying alone? I feel this is everyone's insecurity. And it is not the fear of dying alone but of missing out on motherhood.
side sauce Can't you read? The comment says about the fear of missing out on motherhood. Not the time for you to try to be edgy.
@@sidesauce edge lord
Something like 80% of people in nursing homes have zero visitors. That might not be the exact number but ask anyone who works in one, they'll tell you. Also, I could drop dead in 10 seconds and my husband is in the shower... there are zero guarantees you won't die alone.
I’ve never heard of women having that fear. Those that want to be mothers know very early usually. So that part makes sense but fear of dying alone? Nah. 😅😅😅
I choose to be childfree
Dr. Marcy Darnovsky: Egg freezing is a "hyper-individualized solution to a very broad social problem that we should be tackling with changes in our social policies and cultural expectations".
So true!!!
Many women freeze eggs nowadays. But speaking about me, I`m not sure it`s good idea. No one can definitely say that your eggs will be in perfect condition. Two year ago I made up my mind to freeze my cells. I`m from Belgium, so I decided to do it there. My sister is 7 years older. She also did it but four years earlier. Last year there was a horrible accident. My sister died. Our mother contacted that clinic and asked to find a surrogate mother. She wanted to have grandchildren. The clinic did 4 IVF attempts. But surrogate mother wasn`t pregnant. As appeared it was an old technology of freezing. It led to the destruction of cells. Egg freezing is not a guarantee of good result. So think thoroughly before doing it.
You are right. Egg freezing is one of the biggest mistakes in my life. I have read so many stories of people who used it. They all were satisfied with it. They had the opportunity to build a career. And then, they had enough money, they were able to give their children good future. I decided to earn money and to do it too. Just to be sure that in any case I`ll have children in future. I used this service in Spain. Hey offer quite low prices. But when last year I decided to use them, I was shocked. Well, at that moment I was 43. All IVF attempts we did gave no result. I didn`t get pregnant. Doctor said, that there`s a possibility of damage during the freezing. Why he decided to hide this information from me some years ago. Now I`m going to do ivf procedure with donor`s eggs. They will be fresh and the possibility of getting pregnant is higher. Probably in Ukraine. One of the centers offers 5 attempts for 10 000 euros. It`s my last chance.
Hi Jessica Kirk= How is things going for you...? Any luck ....?
Would like to know too
They did say that failure rate for 40+ was 90% tho
@@jessicakirk8139 lol
why spend so much money on something that "may or may not" work at all , when you do it younger at a cheaper rate ? and being younger , you can endure pregnancy better. I am very sure being pregnant at an older age(compared to younger) is definitely tougher and more painful
This is insane. Woman put themselves at risk and spend so much money for a procedure that might not even work. Just wow. I feel like they’re being preyed on.
women take student loans of over 300k for their sociology education, of which when they are done they work at Macdonald.
When they are 35 they take a further loan of 40k-100k or more so that they may become mothers in the near future.
All these loans are in the name of strong independent women.
Companies: but I want money
@@zebare726 Don’t, worry’s. Some of them will have some Simp bail them out eventually. Then when she no longer has any use for him, she’ll clean him out and live like a queen.
BMP Don't project your insecurities on women. If you have been 'cleaned out' because you were a 'simp' then that is your fault, and your responsibility - not the fault of random women you've never met.
@@kp361 Like most men, I was a simp. Never married tho, so I didn’t have to worry about getting cleaned out lol. Also in a hilarious twist of irony, you decided to project your own insecurities onto my comment. How do I know this? You automatically perceived my comment as a threat to you and the rest of whamen when clearly it wasn’t.
As a 24yo, I hate the expectation that I need to focus on family or career. If I choose to delay kids, it's not because I give one single shit about a prestigious career. I'm not going to invest my worth in feeding corporations, I'm going to spend my time developing interests and hobbies and relationships.
One thing I gotta say about this: YOU NEVER KNOW UNTIL YOU TRY. I mean, you could be 37 years old and conceive on the first try or you could be 23 years old and wind up having to go through IVF for even a small chance of conceiving and having a live birth. Fertility is such a complex issue and depends on soooo many factors, not just age. I say this as a 28-year-old woman who's been struggling to conceive since 24.
TL;DR: YOU NEVER FUCKING KNOW UNTIL YOU FUCKING TRY.
I'm so glad this channel has created a safe space for men to discuss women's issues.
Best comments of the day
About time men had a safe space to discuss womens issues especially keeping in mind how entitled and critical women are of mens issues.
@Alpha Om3gatr1x79 For the very same reason that women feel that their opinion is relevant when it comes to things like MGTOW for the same reason that there are females producing MGTOW content on RUclips
LOL!
LOLOLOL true dat
I had my first child at 22, then at 23 and my last children were at 26. I don't regret it and think I had them all at the right age. But I believe it's up to each individual woman on how and when she has her own children.
And I am SOOOO happy I got to travel and sleep in, go to school, date, be selfish, screw up, quit jobs, be lazy, be driven, mature and enjoy my 20s. Then had my baby at 30. It’s such a sweet spot. To each their own.
@@cay820
you got lucky, you were one breakup away from spending 20 grand on one of these egg banks
Paul Idson Incel alert.
@@paulidson1483 She won the lottery. It is very rare. Most won't make it.
@paulidson1483
Omg are you for real?! 😂
I thought society was finally passed trying to scare women into giving up their lives and having kids at 25, but evidently not. I literally do not know a single person (yes ons from high school that I have on FB) who had kids before 30. Most women I know with kids had them between 33 and 37, and it worked out fine for every single one. And most women I know who break up with someone are usually quickly in a new relationship if they want to be.
This woman didn’t “get lucky”. She planned and had kids at a really good time. If her relationship would have ended she would have met someone new if she made it a priority. Stop spreading bullshit.
Men around 30: “I want to have fun, no commitments!”
Also men around 30: “Women around 30 do not want kids?! So selfish!!!”
A 30 year old guy would have money and a career why wouldn’t he get a 20 year old?
@@conductingintomfoolery9163 Because most 20 year olds are not looking for 30 year old guys. Stop deluding yourselves.
@@conductingintomfoolery9163 Most 20 year old women wouldn’t do that and they don’t even like you lol they just want your money...
Men date younger women, 30 yr old men don't date 30 yr old women, they will be dating 22-27 year olds.
Women have a window of opportunity and they should use it, otherwise they will be freezing eggs in the hope prince charming will roll up when they are 40 and the chances of that are slim to none.
@Paul Idson not you pulling out these conclusions and statistics out of your butt. It's not even medically accurate 🤡
Having children and a career is difficult. Children are crazy expensive, so It's logical that women want to finish their post-secondary studies, get settled in their field and want to be financially stable before they procreate. I just turned 28 and believe I'll only be ready to have children in a few years, once I'm at a decent place in my career. My parents were poor when I was a child and I want to offer more to my children, than my parents were able to offer me.
Shelby R guess what, children aren’t that expensive. I have 5. You don’t have to give them “the best” of everything. They mostly need love and attention not all the most expensive stuff.
@@yeshalloween no as a teenager i NEED money.
kanut the hunter Ah, another comment from a man who wants his woman to NEED him for basic necessities rather than choose him because she wants him. That way it is much harder for her to leave, right?
@@kp361 How insecure of a woman are you that u got offended by a person's opinion. Some people say its good to have children when you are young and some say its good to have have children when you have a stable life. There is no right answer. You don't need to be butthurt about it. So what if its a man saying it. There are plenty of women with the same opinion. What are you gonna say to them? Do you generalize everybody based on their gender. If that's the case then your a SEXIST for doing that.
Work on your Insecurities and Stop Being a Sexist. What a BUM.
The most dangerous assumption is that there is a willing prince charming waiting when the women are ready to have kids.
There are sperm-donors...
yoruageha and the child just grows up without a dad, don't you even think of the consequences
The kindred Soul -- does it really matter? Let’s be honest. Most men end up abandoning their families anyway so if a woman goes to the sperm bank. Not much of a difference if we were to get realistic about it 😴☕️
@@candykane5442 Statistically 80% of divorce are engaged by women ?
Aaron Jacobson -- Care to share proof that this is false?🙃
Don’t be upset just because women are taking control into their own hands now ☕️😴
I am a 55 year old woman with one adult child whom I gave birth to at age 21. I completely understand the interest and desire to put off child bearing, and to take steps to preserve fertility. I believe this is happening mostly in the US, where there aren't many supports in place to help mothers succeed. Paid parental leave for new parents is almost completely absent. Child care choices are not very good, and child care workers aren't paid enough money. College funds are almost useless for a lot of people because it's very hard to save that large-dollar amount unless you are working in a very lucrative position...which generally doesn't happen until the late 30s or even later. I agree that we should be looking at ways to allow women to give birth while still in their most fertile years without making it seem like some kind of a mistake. And seriously, the last 10 or 15 minutes of this video put me in mind of axlotyl tanks. We are more than a womb! And we have a fertile womb for which we should not feel punished OR used. There has to be a better way than this. If you feel you have no alternative or that this is the best choice for you, go for it and blessings. I really hope it works out for you. Peace.
Those "success" rates are pretty low considering the risk factors.
"Consumers, patients... Same thing"
Egg freezing to me seems odd, I would want children by the time im 30 have them raised before 50 then be able to live my middle aged life
50 is elderly lol 35 is middle age
***** if your carrer peak at 30 you're going to have a miserable career. Unless you plan to retire at 40...
hi, have you thought of adopting?
Everyone is different and adopting isn't for everyone. And not to mention can be really spendy. So yeah adopting isn't the right choice for everyone!
+Fukaikokro The thing is, if you are spending $40 000 on freezing your eggs, adoption can be a better option. There isn't a failing success rate and it won't be dangerous to your body with the risk that comes with hormones, and also carrying and laboring the baby.
+Annie Beach
It's natural human desire to have your own babies. Not everyone want adoption, some people want their own children. Yes, they're selfish, but so what? Not everybody is a Jesus.
No, It's ACTUALLY NOT selfish. What's selfish are fertile people who keep popping out kids and put the entire burden on disabled infertile couples as if it's their problem there are so many abandon children. In reality it's fertile people's problem because they are the ones who keep pushing out babies and abadondoning them. That's pretty hypocritical that's fertile people don't adopt at all and place blame with the infertile. As if they are the sole problem... You know just because you can have your own kids ose not take the responsibility off your back. It shouldn't take away the guilt off your back!
Fertile people are extremely judgemental and ignorant which leads to discrimination towards
Infertile women and men. It NEEDS TO STOP!
+loveurselv2 My husband and I have been trying to adopt for 2 years now. We hope to have a child between the ages of newborn and 12 years old sometime in the next year. It's going to cost us around $60,000-$100,000 because we are adopting IN the US.
It's a VERY lengthy and tedious process. :/
Maybe technological progress can help a few (wealthy) women in an individual way, but only social progress can help us reach equality. If policies on maternity leave and childcare were improved that would be a much more important step forward. Also, why wouldn't men ask themselves 'maybe it's time to take a step back from my career and take care of my family.'? When men and women are paid the same for the same jobs, it might seem normal for parents to share the amount of time spent with their kids.
The kindred Soul
Indeed. Its a wahmen's job to take care of themselves just like men. No one gives a fuck about men.
I’m 38 and conceived on my honeymoon. First try. Naturally.
At 38?
You CHOOSE. You make choices in life! There is no “having it all”. There are times and seasons for everything. Biology decides that a woman has a season in which she is fertile. Take that season and have kids! You don’t have to of course but there are consequences just as there are consequences to every decision in life. You don’t need to be rich, you don’t need to give your kids all the material things. Kids need parents, kids need love, kids need attention. There’s nothing wrong with living a humble life. Having a garden. Having a simple home. Getting married. Being faithful to your spouse. Not having the richest man. This pursuit of “fulfillment” is a largely a scam.
It’s often the simple, unflashy, selfless life that yields the greatest joy.
I have 5 kids. It is hard work. I have to be selfless every day. Listen, I didn’t know I wanted them when I was 20 and beautiful and single and free. But that phase of life doesn’t last forever. Just believe me when I say that the older you get the more you realize that family is everything. Family is everything. If you want it you have to prioritize it above all else!
I work part time from home, my husband works hard, we live in a modest home, we live within our means, we have a garden, we make our food stretch, we don’t eat out a bunch, but we have a beautiful family and beautiful children. If you want it you can make it work but there is a window!
It doesn’t need to be a battle or about inequality! It’s a beautiful thing to be at home raising your OWN FAMILY! it’s a privilege.
Thank you for another great, informative video! I'm really loving Broadly right now.
turning 30 on Dec 20 .. kids are not even in my mind ..
just about to start MBA/MPH (got sciences and nursing degree already)
no all women want kids ..
believe me im more then happy .. im in cloud nine that i get accepted to this program.
I experiences happiness different then you .. what makes you happy may not make happy and vice versa...
thank you ..
I raised my 5 siblings may be that influenced my decision not to have my own and enjoy life now !!
its actually arrogant that u think I dont have fulfilling life now .. there is million of ppl without kids by choice and they lead positive life .. they even have more impact in the world then ppl who simple just have kids !!
I lead inspiring life as HIV nurse in remote northern community in Canada .. it brings me joy to help ppl in need .. (money aside), the reward I feel after every day shift is unimaginable !!
im not asking you to choose my path but all Im asking is to actually open your eyes and realize kids are not the only thing to do in life .. there is other roles you can take on that can be as fulfilling if not more !!
see that your goal .. my goals are different I was 14 when i was day dreaming about being CEO for public health agancy.
girls around that time all they want was boyfriend I just want to educate myself and get to the top ..
didnt change till now !!
I have great family we are 6 siblings all live together. my youngest sisters are 17 and 15 .. im their older sister, mother, best friend !!
definition of family differs from one person to another I have my own family it may not be same as yours but never the less its family. !!
its none-sense to you cuz u just dont get it .. you life in your own bubble and you judge the world from very narrow tunnel :)
I don't want kids but when I'm much older, I might open up a house for foster kids. I wish more people would consider adoption if they want kids but can't have them.
18:05 "Consumers" she calls them consumers- and even though they are...consumers/customers...its still creepy to hear her say it. They're really selling something not empowering or any of those pretty sounding buzz words.
I'm astounded that a woman would stay in a relationship with a guy for 5 years knowing all the time that he didn't want children.. all the while she knows she DOES want them..SMH!!
I would have been like "buh bye" after a few months. Ain't nobody got time for fools who don't want to be a father... there's always more fish in the sea. I'd be like.. bye Philippe... NEXT!!
Too bad you cant make decisions for other people
Yeah because men are just enablers of your life goals
@@sebastep They're not but your life goals should somewhat line up. Not wanting kids and wanting kids is a big decision that can leave both parties deeply unsatisfied
Tracy is my favourite Broadly journalist. Her interviews are professional, engaging and personable. This was really insightful and kind of difficult to watch - egg freezing always sounded like a miracle solution to fertility challenges, I guess not.
I love how no one here seems to consider the possibility that not anyone who considers egg freezing is a rich white career woman who "just wants more time". there are many things that can negatively affect fertility. if a woman gets diagnosed with cancer the chemotherapy or radiation treatmeant could make her infertile. there may be conditions that require surgery which would render the reproductive system defunct or at least severely reduce chances of a pregnancy. there are a lot of other medical conditions with this effect.
Egg freezing could be a way for these women to retain the possibility of a pregnancy even if they are unexpectedly hit by a medical condition they have no control over. this could help people beyond just 'lifestyle'.
but of course the people here just want to complain about how 'selfish' the women are who consider this treatment or how it's 'against nature'. funny how the last bit is always brought up with women's reproductive issues. if that really were the issue people would be dying left and right of hypertension, diabetes and literally every cancer there is but weirdly what's 'natural' suddenly isn't an issue then anymore...
This happened to two of my friends…they were 30 when diagnosed with cancer and didnt have time to freeze their eggs before undergoing chemo.
That was a seriously good coverage on this issue! Thanks Broadly
I'm curious as to the eventual outcome of the procedure. Say, hypothetically, you have your eggs frozen at 25. At 40 you and your partner decide to have a baby. But, would you have had to be on hormones this entire time to maintain your entire body in a pre-menopausal, fertile state? I think there are more issues and health requirements to having a baby than just the eggs.
After readign down the comments, I agree with some others in that why not adopt? Why the need to have children of your own, especially when you are older
+Claudia Stocks adoption is just as expensive and it's a long process, so I guess people decide to do this as an option also. Some women want to experience pregancy.
Most women in their 40s who do that have unsuccessful pregnancies and not to mention the egg quality. By that time I think it’s just too late.
The eggs should be frozen for 10 yrs. Beyond that, many may not have survived already
Adoption needs to be made more efficient and easier for able and caring parents. The US also needs to work through international agreements and norms for international adoption. We've screwed up so many times that countries are banning American parents from adopting and that's just a lose-lose situation.
I have to give credit to the advertising industry. You convinced women to say no on their biology in order to make longer profit and more employees, very smart of you. 👏👏
Not as simple as that. Lots of conditions (including cancer) can prematurely rob a woman of her fertility. This is a way to help mitigate that.
@@kp361 we can’t tell them that we need to make money. ;)
@@methodOW What are you talking about? Egg freezing is a way to help preserve fertility before those conditions rob a woman of her fertility through cancer treatment or surgery for endometriosis.
@@kp361 as long as the monetary incentive is there we’re happy
Suuuuper late to this video, but “consumers…patients..same thing?”
Edit: also, you have to pay $15k to go through hormonal hell to collect the eggs, then pay the storage fee, then meet the right guy (or gal or by yourself if you decide to raise your children as a single mom by choice) who wants to procreate via IVF that costs another $10-15k per embryo, and that’s if you’re lucky to have the eggs thaw correctly, be fertilized correctly, develop into a healthy embryo with no defects, and then implant successfully.
Consumers are not the same thing as patients.
They are if they are buying a service.
i think it's a shame that women can't have their family lives with kids and then go back and have a career 10-20 years later. We live so long nowadays that it should be fine to start a career at the age of 35-45. Just a year out of the workforce for a kid makes women so unemployable... i think the statistics are that they are 50% less employable as a result. :/
Yes, this is a problem as well. And what compounds this issue is how short maternity leave is in this country.
Feeling blessed having had my son at 23. I'm now 25 and all my friends are single and childless and I wonder if I should have waited. But deep down I know it was right and I will never ever regret having my son.
Alicia Johnson -- women in their early 20’s never regret not having kids at that age. That’s your best years. You can say what you want to make yourself feel better but having a baby at 23 isn’t the business 😴
this sounds so painful
If all the news media outlets on TV hadn't eliminated their investigative journalism departments in 2012, we might be able to see more stories like this one - doing the job of actually telling a real story that needs to be told, articulately and efficiently.
Isn't procreation one of the strongest biological urges we humans have? I mean, it says something about the society we live in, when this urge of procreation is being compromised.
saying that's an only 50 % - 60% chance of actually working ... while the other 50%-40% of women still paid one hell of a lot of money WOULDN'T WORK ... that's mind blowing
Aahh! My ovaries hurt hearing of OHSS, having your ovaries turning and swell 300%. 😣
The world is so messed up right now. I guess this is the best available solution for a bad situation but it’s sad. I’d lost my dad by my mid twenties and my mum by my mid thirties. I never got to sort my life out and look after my parents, and I don’t feel they got to die in peace knowing I’d be ok. I too had my daughter pretty late, actually just before my mom passed, and I worry about the pressure she’ll feel at wanting to look after me when I get old, and I hope she gets to live a little first, or at the same time.
Is it worth your time and money to freeze your eggs?
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Broadly
Jocelyn Rachel is tha best you should put her in the most cool Reports, in my Opinion :)
Broadly no
+Broadly There are enough kids in the world. We are 7,3 billion people. Dont waste further resources. If you want a kid, adopt one!
+Katharina Schmidt Thank you! Excellent point! There are too many people in the world right now.
I'm anticipating women will complain "I don't want someone else's kid/some other ethnicity/some possibly dysfunctional brewing in them"/blah blah blah. In other words = I want to pass my genetics on so my child is from my egg = MY genetics are SO special they HAVE to be preserved for future generations!
The majority of kids, do best when there is a mother and a father present in the home. I, am not against same sex couples raising kids, or against single mothers. But simply, this notion of "Women want it all (just like those MEN)",...Ugh. I can only speak for myself. I don't want kids. I didn't have kids. I adopted a 13 year old cat 11 years ago and I truly love him. Simply be thankful for what you have. Especially if you have your health.
The Green Cesspool
xD
I hate when interviewees from companies beat around the bush about statistics. You can hear when asked about the statistics of the success rates the Egg Banks lady just goes off on a different tangent to avoid the question.
Great documentary. Very informative. Raises a lot of questions about modern work and living standards. Women are still not given the opportunity to have children without loosing money. People need to able to have kids. We are human beings with lives, not work robots or corporate slaves.
How about updating the feminist ideology to encourage women the have children in their 20s so not so many women are suffering in their 30s and 40s or are you feminist more concerned about big corporate profits ?
Why should women give up their youths to look after everyone else. Who else does that? Women should have the opportunity to fulfil their own desires too. Not everything has to revolve around extending your line. And we are realising that more every single day 😅😴
I remember I asked my mom that i wanted to freeze my eggs because I was scare not be able to have more children later on bc I have pcos and had a tumour in my right ovary that I lost few eggs under surgery. But I got pregnant naturally and Im happy for it, never though it would happen even the state was willing to give 3 ivf for free(In sweden they give for those who cant get pregnant over a year) . I feel sorry for few people who done to much abortion younger age and when they decide to have baby they can't.. I know this girl who is younger than me (im 27) had 5 abortion and now she cant get pregnant and had passed over 2 years.. And the state doesnt want to offer ivf because she was able to get pregnant before and now she have to save alots of money to her ivf and theres no garantee if it will work.
5 abortions tho why should the state pay fir her ivf Sorry but once or twice yeah but 5 abortions is irresponsible
When I got married at 43 a few months later I fell pregnant but it didn’t happen . The next year I found a lump . It turned out to be breast cancer and in passing my oncologist said the chemo would put me into early menopause . We put the breaks on and made my oncologist make a cold call to the leading fertility doctor in the UK . We met her that Sunday and she explained that she could harvest my eggs but as my cancer was hormone receptive after the procedure I had to start my chemo 48 hours later . I had only one small window of 12 days to harvest .
If I had known that this was going to be my life I would have done this 10 years previously as of course I was 43 and I didnt have as many eggs to fertilise and freeze .
My eggs would also be and stay the same age as they were when harvested . Just liked a good malt whisky they stay that age and I would have more and younger eggs .
Men just keep reproducing sperm , women only have so many eggs .
Unfortunately although I had a good ‘Ixi ‘ (defrosting process) I wasn’t able to carry the embryo because of my age and that I had to have my womb, which had shrunk as I had gone into a menopause, It had to be enlarged again with the female hormones which was still dangerous for me but it was a risk I was willing to take.
I really wanted to be a mum and I was in a male dominated career and I found myself looking at younger females and telling them to think about doing it .
This isn’t promoted as much here in the UK and when I froze my eggs/embryos it cost £100 per year for 10 years then they advise that you must use them before the 10 yrs are up .
If I knew the options open to me when I was in my 20’s I definitely would have frozen my eggs .
All those periods and lost eggs and all those years making sure I didn’t get pregnant . I wish I’d known .
I'm sorry to hear that, but i'll take on your advice and get my eggs frozen before the age of 30 (ivf is my only option to have biological kids)
Am I the only one wo dering of she ever had kids in the end?
Imagine going through all of this just for the procedure to fail, the Western World needs to get their shit together
Amazing documentary, thank you. A part that could be done as s follow up and to show what women go through is to follow at least one woman through the roller-coaster of an IVF. The emotions, the angst, the hope, the joy, the crumbling... It is a tough experience.
why are there so many dislikes on your videos? this one in particular was very informative!
roxanar men commenting who want to tell women how they are doing it wrong.
I understand the lure, but a huge deterrent to me is mature motherhood. Would I have the interest or energy to guide a toddler at 45?
Adoption is better. Too many kids needs a good home and the earth is over populated already.
egg freezing, nothing is more profitable than selling hope
As very intelligent, educated, seemingly enlightened woman. One would think they would consider adoption.
They probably considered it, and decided against it.
Here here woof woof 😂😂😂
Oh, there is a man of culture here! 😎👌
I see the saddo MGTOW brigade are out in force - the ones who claim they have given up on women, but actually think of nothing but them. Why don't you live up to your promise and 'go your own way'? You won't be missed from either the dating pool or the gene pool.
@@kp361 My my, that's quite some womansplaining there! 😂👌
@@jean-baptistedupont5967 Yes, it's almost as eloquent as "here here woof woof", isn't it?
@@kp361 You seem very angry, ah well. I'll keep enjoying this comedy channel here. 😎👍
As a woman in the US I’m afraid of two things 1: That my children will be poor
2: That I’ll never have children at all.
I fear the former thing because it is so unstable to have a child financially...my husband could leave me and the children, my husband could die suddenly without warning. In the United States if you suddenly become a single parent you’re fucked because there is NO help for single parents here. I’d become a single mom and have to work three jobs and I wouldn’t be able to see my children grow up because I’d be working just to put a roof over their head.
The only way to guarantee that my children won’t be poor if I suddenly became single is for me to wait until I have a high paying career...but if I wait that long I may not be able to have children at all, which is the second fear.
For people reading this understand that a lot of women put off motherhood not because they are selfish, but because they want to make sure their children never end up in poverty...which is hard to guarantee in the United States :(
Exactly!
True. But in the event that you are married and worried about your husband passing, you could get life insurance... just saying
I just checked the SART report and that woman is incorrect. The rate for women over 42 (keep in mind least likely to get pregnant, may have been older when eggs were frozen and/or may not have had eggs frozen in the most modern fashion) is still 19.6%.
I am man, but would like to say woman have been deceived by feminism big time.
If a woman is ready to spend time on money on this. Why can't she just spend the same for finding the right guy.
I have the highest respect to housewives. My wife and my mom is one.
My woman Clearly understands she can't have it all. Life is a compromise in the pursuit of happiness
It's possible she just doesn't want to be a housewife. You and many other see value in living that lifestyle, but many others don't.
Similar to how I have no interest in becoming a doctor, I have no interest in being a housewife.
I am infertile. Wish I had the choices normal women do. To delay having a kid. Just to be a normal woman sounds wonderful. But alas. I am a defect. A broken soul, with a broken body. Why is it that in life when you really, really I mean REALLY want something, you need get it. But when you don't seem to care it shows up on your door step. That's my life with fertility and yearning to be a mom but will never have that. I am 24 and the clock is ticking. Never gave a second thought that infertility would destroy me entirely.
Why not adopt, you aren't broken you just have a different path
Thank you SO much for your inspiring words of wisdom :)
It's just really hard to get over. Especially when you experence a lot of isolation and distance from others who just don't understand the amount of mental anguish and grief. God would I love too feel empowered and get over this lump in life! Because It feels like when you can't / choose not to have kids people cut you out of their lives because they have kids and you don't. I have been isolated from a lot of my family and friends, when I was a kid it was all great and dandy but now that I am older just feels like they can't be around me because I am "defected" and "abnormal" or hate kids and Because they "need" to have relationships only with other parents as if I am a terrible person. I feel so broken because of people's general treatment of infertility / people who choose not to have kids. As if it makes you abnormal or a "bad" person. I REALLY wish in society that stigma would go away as it would make going through this struggle ALOT easier to mentally deal with. It's just also hard getting over mourning the loss of what could have been. That's another really challenging thing to deal with. Is the grief that comes along with it and the lack of support.
+Fukaikokro Stay strong!
stay strong. I will never able to understand how it is to be infertile. In my case i wish I can have a child under my circumstances. But I dont even get the chance to do it because of no partner or partner doesnt want a child. I feel I will regret if I didnt even try. If for example know now, I wont be infertile. Okay that it is. But regret to never do it even you have the chance to do it, its sad .
I will definitely be sending out wishes for healing and for a future child birth soon.. I send prayers your way. You poor woman. My geuine condolences for your struggles. I will also pray for a good, faithful, traditional, committed man for you or whoever wants that.
Are there any negative side affects from hyper stimulating the ovaries sometimes more than once? Also, are there unintended side affects from subjecting our bodies to so many artificial hormones? Full disclosure is extremely important when we make these decisions.
There is a ton of negative side-effects, including ovary cancer and breast cancer. I'll pass
💯🎯
It's an odd solution, so to counter my fear of dying alone I die with a child on my bedside? The thought makes me cringe.
Well I've lived through this. I was the child at the bedside of one of my parents while they died. They "bought/adopted" me. Nothing wrong with it. It's incredibly lonely. The parent who died was 82 so they lived a fairly long life. It's sad to be an orphan again!
It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable in the least. I want to die surrounded by my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren... Just like I was there for my me maw and I laid her out for her wake and funeral. I was with her for her last breath and it was actually a beautiful experience.
Dying alone is one thing, living alone is worse.
I got married at 16 and been married for 11 years, we have 3 beautiful girls together and a baby boy on the way and I couldn’t be happier, I love being a mom so much and wouldn’t change it for the world.
I also run my own embroidery business and my husband has his own business too.
Who said you can’t have it all.
It's great that it turned out great for you. But not everyone has the circumstance you have.
@@mediokritet and I’m sure people reading my previous comment will take that in to account considering no ones life or experience is the same.
I just imagine a woman freezing her eggs at 28, having them implanted at 45 and then them being like 60 with teenaged children.
Frightening
Kiki XO but you’ll still be old if you wait until your late 30s and 40s
@kanuk the hunter it's like you just pick these surrogates up like you pick up bread from the supermarket🤦🏾♂️
What's the problem with being 60 with teenagers? I bet a lot of men would have nothing to say about this if it was a father of that age. Maybe don't comment on things which don't concern you.
@@Traceyi1000 Not really. Donald Trump is 70 something with a healthy teen son. If a young woman freezes her eggs and used them when she’s in her 40’s what’s the difference?
They think that in the future they will have more time, but often the older you are, the more responsibility you have.
Mario - It is not as simple as that. There are lots of medical conditions (including endometriosis and cancer) which can prematurely rob a young woman of her fertility. This is a way round that.
Life is expensive. A lot of adults are holding off on a lot of things... families, buying homes. It is unfortunate that nature isn’t on our side when it comes to waiting. I’m 30 and know I don’t have much longer to wait but I’m still not where I want to be financially. I’m just stuck right now.
Great video! But what a lot of people don't know about is post-pregnancy freezing which is where you take a baby from 6 weeks old to up to 18 months old and cryogenically freeze them until you are financially, physically, or domestically, willing/able to deal with a child. This is actually a fantastic option for women who decided against having an abortion but thought better of it after birth.
You're trolling and no one's taking the bait. Poor you. Pathetic
Sweet friends and fellow childless women in their 30s, what is so wrong with adoption? SO MANY babies in this overpopulated world need a loving home. Whatever the cause be (career, or like in my case not being in a trusting relationship), why resort to this expensive and painful procedure rather than adopt? We humans can be so selfish in doing it just to have a mini me if thats the case.
I agree the last stat I saw for adoptable kids in the US was over 100,000 and in the foster system, it was 500,000. Adopting costs just as much as what they're doing and doesn't have the failure rate of IVF and egg freezing cause there already is a child.
Or alternatively you can mind your own business, go adopt kids yourself and let other women do what works for them.
I’m married and 27 years old and a lawyer. I have some thinking to do.
If you decide to go through the IVF route, freeze embryos not eggs. No point in just freezing eggs if you're married (embryos thaw better).
When you really want to be a mother and have children and you have the deep desire to live your life for a child it doesn’t matter if it’s a biological child or an adopted one. So... I always wonder if these ladies who are willing to spend this kind of money to get pregnant have actually the vocation to be a mother. It doesn’t matter if a child has your blood or not.
It’s like a pet, some people love their dogs as children and as far as I know they don’t have a genetic connection.
Sometimes (often) people do want to have children who are their own flesh and blood. There's nothing wrong with that, it's natural. Simply telling people to adopt is rarely actually advocated by people who HAVE adopted (a noble endeavour for anyone who chooses that, but they know it is not as simple as you are suggesting, and understand it's unique challenges and benefits). It is also rarely ever advocated by people who have struggled with their own fertility.
Ultimately choosing between career and family is question of values.
While i am not woman, i am single dad of two who chose kids over career, so i do have -some- idea of it.
Anyhow, even if one could have perfectly healthy kids at age of 90 years, there is the small question whether one wants to be around and sound in both body and mind to see the possible grandkids or not :)
If it is a choice between dying with a complete dead-end on your family tree, and dying with only being able to see your immediate generation of children, I think being alive to see grandchildren is the LEAST of your concern.
You can freez eggs as much as you like, but you still need male sperm to get the egg to hatch.
No one is thinking about the other half, you do need a man in there somewhere, and what man wants to get some over the hill, 40 year old woman pregnant? Noooooo I dont think so
Can an update be done on this women's journey? did she ever conceive a child?
No updates.
OK, this scared the shit out of me, but I'm still doing it. Statistically, the risk is small. But still scary, man.
12:50 and 13:10 sums it up, it all comes down to personal choices, she brought all of that upon herself. That's just how it is for most women. When she was in her early and mid-twenties she could've made other choices, her choices in relationships could have been different and probably she would have had kids by 29.
I know some women in similar situations who now realize they didn't make good choices when they had the chance and now they wish they had the opportunities they didn't take
It does not always come down to 'personal choices' and even when it does, why do you have such a problem with people seeking a contingency plan? She paid for it herself, why does it concern you? Lots of medical conditions including cancer and endometriosis can prematurely rob a woman of her fertility, nothing to do with her 'choice' in those instances. Lots of young men also harbour the delusion that they can act like kids until they're 40 and then impregnate a 25 year old, only to be disappointed / find out about male fertility degradation with age (which is also a thing) or end up bitching about women being whores and goldiggers because they are, as men, incapable of a normal relationship with a woman who is their equal. We could all play the blame game, but it is a lot more healthy to live and let live.
we are WORSE under feminist "progress"
My small and sweet question did the CEO of Egg Bank freeze her Egg???
If your career is that much more important to you than family then why not just opt to adopt when the times comes you feel you want a family?
Why not adopt?
Everyone is just trying to do their best , motherhood is a personal journey and do whatever you need or want to do.
Going to egg freezing parties, sipping cocktails and lookin business and smart instead of finding a good hot guy, hit the sack, have fun and make babies...these women' s logic beats me
Ava -- Not every woman has the desire to procreate with bums. Ok? Many leave that for the desperate, uneducated, Low income ghetto/ trailer trash women who don’t mind spreading their legs for thugs and occupying their ovaries with poverty sperm 💅🏽☕️
A guy being ‘hot’ doesn’t mean he will be a good provider and family man. Your comment was sooo basic. It’s troubling. 😴
Candy Kane look at your comment bitch!
Not as simple as that Ava. People have medical conditions which can rob them of their fertility - something egg freezing can help prevent.
Not really as simple as you describe it. This isn’t a movie. Some women would rather not be locked in a relationship at 20 and want to experience their first few adult years seeing the world before they settle down immediately
I think it's wonderful they are trying to empower women by giving them a choice for when they want children and with whom, but I think it gets a bit selfish to only want a Dna replication of yourself when there are thousands of children, not just around the world, in America who are in dire need of being adopted, my best friend was adopted and I don't see how anyone could love someone less just because they aren't their own actual biological child. If you have $40,000 and clearly more money, there's no reason why you can't, even if you are single, and it still gives you the same empowerment and choice and I think it's more meaningful and you're helping the world and humanity. It also makes me sad how so many young women shun a family structure or being a young mother, I chose to be a young mother, had a home birth because I'm healthy and my daughter is healthy and I can breastfeed and it was a mindful decision, I'm tired of feeling belittled by that, there is nothing wrong with wanting a family also. I think the real issue is the as a society we don't feel it is important to help women or children and leave it I all up to them, obviously it is hard financially but the love my daughter brings to my life greatly out weighs that, and I am still able to continue my dreams in life and school. I think we are dancing on a dangerous line. I mean none of these women even talk about adoption, do they even consider it? It makes me really sad.
Unfortunately it is true that many people cannot love another's child like their own. Might not be you, and I'm not taking sides either, but just saying that it is true that it can be hard to love an adopted child like your own.
Then maybe they should reconsider even having children in the first case since there's already overpopulation. I think we need more SELFLESS parents in the world. And what of foster parents? Do they not love their foster kids too, I've met so many wonderful foster parents who love their foster kids as their own and continue for the rest of their lives. These women also didn't seem very emotionally stable, seemed very codependent, I don't think people understand what being a parent is, it's just about love, everything else is pretty null and void. Especially when it comes to biology, how petty. I'm sure many people feel like you, which is why we need a serious transformative shift in how we view children. This shit is disgusting to me.
Aaliyah Leveau Lol, you can't be replying to me, can you? I don't know why you're appearing to be very upset. You asked why they don't consider adoption, and I gave you an answer based on experience. Personally, I am actually pro-adoption and think that all children who are orphaned or in situations where they cannot be looked after should be loved as best as possible, therefore it is very much unwarranted that you should call me petty and everything else here, when I was a very neutral party giving an anecdote. Of course foster parents can love their children, that is why they chose to be foster parents, and also there are people who can love adopted children. The sad truth is that not everyone believes they can love a child that is not theirs, therefore they choose not to dabble in the lives of these orphaned children, and that's why you get people doing what is described in this documentary.
I'm just providing you with a neutral opinion. Don't presume that you have opposition before you realize that you don't. Be at peace.
Thanks for the essay, and I do think your reply was petty, if that's neutral then yeah we live in a fucked up society. I really don't care about your long angry replies you probably typed breathing heavily over your keyboard. And yeah when you say people can't love a child who isn't their own in the same way, again I emphasize WHY ARE YOU WANTING TO BE A PARENT. and you took it so personally, clearly it was to people who think that way, I'm already over your emotional response, don't take think so personally it's RUclips. Peace out.
Aaliyah Leveau Well, I see by your indeed very passionate response that you don't want to address the reasons I have given, but instead prefer to make your own inferences, in all capital letters. Honestly, be at peace, and don't shove your own heavy breathing into my lungs, lol! :)
I could certainly provide more information on the reasons why people don't choose to adopt, but I don't think that would be useful as you're quite thoroughly convinced that everyone who open-mindedly accepts ideas other than yours is part of a f*cked up society (which, as you put it, you may not be part of). In that case, I think you should retire from RUclips and foster children from abused homes, to do your part. It's a good thing to do, indeed it is, and as I just said in my previous comment which you failed to read, I am all supportive of adoption. And again as you failed to see from my comment, I do not wish to be a parent, so I wonder why you're typing that sentence in capital letters.
Don't associate formality with emotion. I will write, and I will argue, and I will always, always read someone's comment before replying to them. Anyway, this isn't a good debate, so I'm out of here. Again, please be at peace.
This video seems to attract all kinds of creatures looking for validation of their questionable life choices and taking delight in other people's life struggles. If you are such a happy teen mom/ MGTOW/ RP why are you so invested in this? Go enjoy your own life
Not to mention whether or not the female body can still sustain pregnancy when the woman finally decides to have a child; the body will have gone through many drastic changes between the time of freezing and the time of pregnancy, on average, I'm sure. Many of these women are freezing to try to have a child after they no longer can get pregnant naturally, as they spent their most fertile years on their career, they have to hope to try and find the man they want to reproduce with now with a pretty serious time clock. Of course, this is all under the assumption that she's not opting for artificial insemination via a donor, which, that whole situation just makes me cringe, although I'm SO morally obligated to allow anyone to do with their own body what they wish that although personally abhorrent, publically/politically I must support a woman's right to do this. It is no one's right to tell another what they can or can not do with their body, and yes that includes putting drugs into said body(although if you then get behind the wheel of a car, now you've put the public in jeopardy and that is where the crime comes in). I'm all for the option, just be smart about it. Use it wisely.
I'm looking forward to the day when we can just pay a nice reputable company to drop a fertilized ova in a "womb bag" and 9 months later take the baby home, with no muss no fuss and no biological ordeal. What a blessing it would be to all women to have the horrible ordeal of pregnancy and birth removed forever.
You're f- ing crazy. That would be TOTAL dehumanizing and it is repugnant.
Felicity Ray Self, these people are going against nature itself. It’s insanity. Horrible unintended consequences ahead of them!
Women would be obsolete then
Freezing eggs is kinda stupid, reason such as its pricey and doesnt guaranty you will have a kid in the future, even if you freeze your eggs at an early age how will you be sure the facilities you keep the eggs in will not have an electrical malfunction and all the eggs become cooked because of inadequate freezing, if your eggs are young and healthy but you become old your body might not even be able to handle carrying a fetus till maturity, your body is like a car when you are 16-30 its like the new car everything works and between 30-45 its like a used car the electronics start going bad same with your body the plumbing start to age and not function properly eventually turning into Chernobyl where its barren and uninhabitable for anything including getting pregnant.
I see they are deleting my comments.
Leave your kids with a qualified person? Just who are you then?
As much as I respect women for wanting to give birth to their child, there are SO many children out there waiting to be adopted. I get frustrated when women freak out about their 'ticking clocks' when they can adopt when they decide they are ready for kids. Just seems quite selfish to only want a genetic copy of themselves rather than just a child to call their own.
Yeah, so many children, but not so many families who are infertile to have their own but qualified to adopt.
i can only speak about germany but here its not even possible to adopt if you're not married. and the whole process lasts years and if your over 40-something you are not even allowed to apply. so its not easy. my sister is currently 36 and not able to conceive but she could not apply for adoption since she is not married and is self employed. so i'd ay the adotion system is also extremely flawed.
cypressunlimited I wouldn't say so because it's just risk control out of a sense of responsibility. When the statistics tells that more than half of the criminals were raised by a single or a divorced parent, you wouldn't give them permission to adopt either.
saneill17 I agree.
I think adopt is a great way , too. But in reality its easier to get pregnant and bear your own child then to adopt. There are so many factors involved and you need to be rich to adopt.
It’s a good time to be a woman.
Also, a my moms coworker, a surgeon at ucsf, his wife went through this, and they had twin boys, because multiple fetuses are common, and after 3 months they both died a few days apart, was it worth it? And for what, to know that that was your biological child, they could have adopted a perfectly healthy child and not paid out of pocket for all of the medical expenses and that child would have a ticket to college, imagine that, paying it forward for one child if each person who wants this considers that first, there would be significant changes in the world and how we view children as a whole regardless if they are our "family"
Ok..so.. ?? I know literally DOZENS of healthy babies born from this technology and happy parents.. so.. adoption, surrogacy, eggl freezing.in the end there's plenty of ways to be a parent. I still think good old fashioned marriage and natural conception is the best.. we live though, in a Brave New World.. for better or worse..
Women should be able to decide when they want to have a child. Adoption is good because it shows that we are willing to love a child that is not their own. However, a child will always look for their biological parent because that is where they came from and it is human nature to want to connect to your original parents. No matter how you look at it women in this society do not have any real options. There are no good men left who want to settle down and have a family. They just want a girlfriend not a wife because they don't want to grow up. I understand that women have a biological clock and they want to be able to have kids. My advice to women is to educate yourselves when you are young. Teach your daughter's to value knowledge as well as building a family. Women are intelligent they know what they are doing when they postpone having a baby for so long.
Are you really grown up? You bought the bullshit of feminism.You are the same feminist who act like man untill your 30's then you suddenly start acting like women. If a man has option to get married to a younger woman or with you ,definitely he will choose where he don't have to struggle to see his own race.Go on girl you can have it all ! And be ready to spend your time with a cat.
I'm adopted and my I have no desire to meet my biological parents. If they didn't want me then I don't want them. I love my parents because they're always there for me. This is incredibly insulting.
Yep, like a fish needs a bicycle
Reality is that majority of people will have a mediocre life with mediocre jobs, if you’re lucky. That’s a big sacrifice for a mundane existence. Don’t waste your youthful & fertile years because the decline is steep and dramatic post 25
That woman in red is so impressive and knowledgeable.
ReplicantPhish brought me here
Nice way of telling the world you are an incel.
@@kp361 Your shaming tactics are useless and idiotic just like these fefails spending a ton of money on freezing their eggs.
@@painiscupcake8856 'fefail' isn't a word, incel. I realise you and your boys have your own made up language (it's all quite homoerotic) but the rest of the world is not obligated to acknowledge it.
Fefail is getting scared because men are waking up and not simpin anymore!
Every women’s decision for wanting to freeze her eggs is incredibly personal. Whether it’s the impending biological clock, unforeseen fertility issues at a young age, being diagnosed with cancer, or just simply wanting to be pro-active in your 30’s - putting your eggs on ice is a decision that inevitably comes with a lot of soul searching. Whether you are in a relationship or single, you never know what the future is going to bring. Figuring out whether or not to invest in freezing your eggs is a very personal decision that takes time to evolve. If you’re like me, you might actually have to decide to freeze your eggs, before you and your partner REALLY decide together whether you want to bring a child into this world. However, as a career-driven, independent woman, at some point it dawns on you, you really hope you can make it ALL happen within the proper window of time. Well I still have time to think about it. Maybe I really should first try IVF with fresh eggs in the East Europe like in Kiev. Then if it is failed try to freeze my eggs.
So perfectly healthy women do this to themselves. Make this shit make sense to me. Personally I don't want a frozen egg to form part of the genesis of my child.
women dont understand what men want or value in a partner. they keep thinking men want what women want. It's simply not the case. we want youth and beauty. We dont give a damn about their careers. They still dont get that.
@@taasch2505 They want careers so they can be financially secure as well. Back then it was normal that men have careers while women raise the family, but nowadays in the west it seems that only one income doesn’t make the cut anymore.
@@isamaree7346 one income doesnt cut it anymore because when women entered the workforce the doubled the amount of the working population, thus removing the value of the individual worker, thus leaving wages stagnate, thus CEOS laughing their asses off as they can double their profits while giving nothing to their workers. It was a scheme all along.
@@taasch2505 Yes I agree. That’s the main reason why I would rather work a small part time job instead of spending a fortune on student loans to pursue a career that will only end up paying me 20k a year. I’d rather be a stay at home mom and have kids while I’m young, and then live out my middle aged life when my kids are grown up.
@@isamaree7346 sadly the feminists kind of wrecked that dream for a lot of women.