Thank you for this interview. Georgina’s description of the harm done by her parents’ insistence on ignoring her race is spot on. A black presenting human will be seen as black, regardless of the race of their parents and it is very lonely to literally be the only black person in every single room. I too am envious of people who get to grow up with their racial experience acknowledged and not having to defend their families at every turn when something is clearly off. It’s rough to be the secret that cannot discussed and Georgina is absolutely right - that secrecy makes you feel ashamed. I first found Georgina’s podcast and then her book when I discovered I was half black a few months ago. I searched for any memoirs or stories like mine because i felt so stupid for not knowing when it was so obvious to everyone else. I reached out to Georgia on Instagram and she responded immediately. We had a great conversation about our experiences and I will never forget how warm she was.
Her story is similar to my older sisters story. My mom and dad separated early in their marriage, and during that time my mom dated another guy for a couple of months. But then she and my dad got back together and soon my mom found out she was pregnant. She really hoped it was my dad's baby, but once my sister was born she knew it wasn't. My mom and dad are light complexioned, and my sister was dark skinned like the guy my mom had dated. She even had his same nose. My dad accepted my sister from the start, even when his family was telling him it wasn't his baby. He raised her as his own daughter and never treated her any different than the rest of us. ( 7 girls altogether and two boys). But my sister always wondered why she was darker than all of us, especially when other kids would point this out and question her about it. My mom would bring up the fact that my dad's mom was dark skinned too, so this gave my sister the answer she was needing at the time. But one time my sister was coming home from college in a taxi, and the taxi driver told her that my dad was not her dad. My sister was so upset that she confronted my parents. My dad told her it didn't matter what any one said, she was his daughter, period. My mom denied the whole thing and said the taxi driver was lying, but later she sent my uncle to confront him. We lived in a small town so every body knew everybody's business. My mom thought that if she didn't admit it, nobody would know. But before she passed, I asked her about it and she finally admitted it was true. She even told me how it all happened. She said she had to avoid the father of my sister for years just to try to keep that secret. I think she felt a sense of relief once she admitted the truth out loud. After she passed away I told my sister what my mom had told me, which I think brought some comfort, but also pain because she wanted my dad to be her real dad so much.
This was great Dr. Trish. What a treat to have an interview with the actual author. I really enjoyed it! I hope she will continue to blossom on this journey.
To have to deal with the outside everyday from a child to an adult alone, wow! Praying for you! You will find your father and family. You are speaking about it, first step.
This was a wonderful interview! Thanks to Georgina Lawton for sharing her story here. Very fascinating. There is so much to uncover when it comes to family secrets and as DNA tests becomes more widely available, I suspect there will be more of these secrets uncovered.
Great interview and she gave really helpful advice at the end. For me it was how come you didn’t know you were adopted…, I knew my mother wasn’t my biological mother because I just felt it but my parents lied to me my entire life until death… so did my entire family…I was most certain after my father’s death and I couldn’t get a copy of my birth certificate ( to obtain his death certificate)….because they make you so many amended copies after you’re adopted it was the first time I ever tried to get a new copy. Let’s talk about adoptees not being entitled to their true birth records…anyway I found out through AncestryDNA that I had 11 siblings….3 of which are younger siblings from my biological mother. My birth story is a whole hot mess and I’m still angry at everyone for their secrets and lies. The most hurtful thing is that all these years (49) my bio mother didn’t tell my younger siblings and now they don’t want anything to do with me. She’s still ashamed for other family members to find out and doesn’t understand or care why that is so hurtful to me.
Thank you, Dr Trish, for this interview. Georgina has a remarkable story and I am glad that Georgina is so strong that she was able to overcome this trauma and move forward gracefully through her life.
That was such an great interview! My husband and I are considering adopting children in the future, and we had already decided that we are open to any ethnicity/race. We are both white/Euro American. I’m very interested in learning more about what it’s like to be black both because it actively helps me to not be racist and because I am considering adopting black children. This was particularly eye opening to me as an example of maybe how not to raise a black or mixed child in an otherwise white family. Sometimes some truths have to be admitted and accepted for someone to develop their complete identity. I identify as European American instead of “white” because “white” would erase the (admittedly small) differences between the different European heritages that I’ve come from. The Swedish/English side of my family is very different from the Dutch/English. I’m not comfortable losing that nuance in a “white” identity. Also, I quit lurking around and subscribed already. I love your content.
I think it’s great that you’re taking the time to be well informed before adopting. Sounds like you’re an amazing mom. Wishing you all the very best on your adoption journey. ❤️
Thank you Georgina for sharing your story. I agree about therapy. It really can be a useful tool in life's toolbox, if you can access it. I almost think that DNA tests should come with at least one pre-results talk with a councilor. Just to educate people on what their results could reflect and resources to turn to if needed.
Interesting book and interview. It ties in to the challenge that family secrets have no matter what they are. I also watched Lacy Schwartz’s powerful documentary. The secrets of an affair which produces a child who looks so different from other family members and it is never discussed. Another very poignant watch is Family Secrets showed on SBS Insight. It is available on RUclips. Thank you.
ok, so I believe that I have missed something. I thought she was adopted. But was she actually mixed race as a result of her mother having had an affair? Ok, I finally got to the point where she made it clear what she was speaking specifically about.
I don’t see the issue if one has no problem of mixed race children being label as “black” and ignoring the multicultural heritage said child then it shouldn’t be a problem is done the other way
Hi there. Thank you for the comment. This video isn’t about how mixed race children are labeled. This is an interview with Georgina Lawton, author of the memoir, Raceless. She discovered in her 20s after takIng a DNA test that her parents had not been truthful about her identity.
Fabbeyond- I think the difference is that if a mixed race child is labeled black (ignoring the multicultural heritage) it’s not always obvious. I guess it depends on the features of the child how much they fit in with their community. But if you have a mixed race child being labeled as white (again ignoring the multicultural heritage) then it’s usually more obvious. I have heard of mixed race children that were light skinned but black heritage and they grew up with issues of not feeling black enough. Georgina’s story is different because her multicultural heritage wasn’t ignored, it was denied. She was lied to about these features and why she had them. It’s like being gas lit for her entire upbringing.
Listening to this episode, I see how I didn’t help my son while he was growing up. I was asked when he was about 18 months how we (my white ex husband) planned to raise him, white or black? My answer was like a human being. Growing up, my family didn’t talk about traditionally black things and we spent a lot of our time not in black communities, schools or churches. So I never realized how much my son or for that matter myself, was missing. Looking at this, I see how confusing it must have been for him growing up. I home schooled him to avoid the preconceived idea that he was somehow less intelligent than his white peers. But he didn’t understand that at 5 when his teacher refused to call on him she was doing so because she thought he was somehow less. I see that I was hurt and wasn’t able to give to him what he needed to be alright. Many things are clearer now.
I truly ADMIRE this lady. Kudos to her!! She was, imo, emotionally abused as a child. At first I thought her mom was selfish in how she raised her daughter but thinking about it I believe her mom's behavior in raising her was cultural since her mom was probably raised to the British way of "keeping a stiff upper lip" and keep family secrets. It seems so strange to me, but God made each of us different. I'm glad Georgina is healing and has forgiven her parents, especially her mom. May God continue to BLESS her. 😍😍👏👏🙏🙏👍👍Btw, the human race is so VILE and UGLY when it comes to "RACE" and it's not just the white race that behaves in this manner. It's ALL races/ethnicities, but some more than others.
Not really. If you enter the world as a black child, your parents need to acknowledge rot because you aren’t treated the same. One human race comments erase real differences in how POC experience the world.
Hi may I ask did your mum have you before she met your dad who died or did she have affair when with your dad hope you find your dad will have other family members
Thank you for this interview. Georgina’s description of the harm done by her parents’ insistence on ignoring her race is spot on. A black presenting human will be seen as black, regardless of the race of their parents and it is very lonely to literally be the only black person in every single room. I too am envious of people who get to grow up with their racial experience acknowledged and not having to defend their families at every turn when something is clearly off. It’s rough to be the secret that cannot discussed and Georgina is absolutely right - that secrecy makes you feel ashamed. I first found Georgina’s podcast and then her book when I discovered I was half black a few months ago. I searched for any memoirs or stories like mine because i felt so stupid for not knowing when it was so obvious to everyone else. I reached out to Georgia on Instagram and she responded immediately. We had a great conversation about our experiences and I will never forget how warm she was.
Her story is similar to my older sisters story. My mom and dad separated early in their marriage, and during that time my mom dated another guy for a couple of months. But then she and my dad got back together and soon my mom found out she was pregnant. She really hoped it was my dad's baby, but once my sister was born she knew it wasn't. My mom and dad are light complexioned, and my sister was dark skinned like the guy my mom had dated. She even had his same nose. My dad accepted my sister from the start, even when his family was telling him it wasn't his baby. He raised her as his own daughter and never treated her any different than the rest of us. ( 7 girls altogether and two boys). But my sister always wondered why she was darker than all of us, especially when other kids would point this out and question her about it. My mom would bring up the fact that my dad's mom was dark skinned too, so this gave my sister the answer she was needing at the time. But one time my sister was coming home from college in a taxi, and the taxi driver told her that my dad was not her dad. My sister was so upset that she confronted my parents. My dad told her it didn't matter what any one said, she was his daughter, period. My mom denied the whole thing and said the taxi driver was lying, but later she sent my uncle to confront him. We lived in a small town so every body knew everybody's business. My mom thought that if she didn't admit it, nobody would know. But before she passed, I asked her about it and she finally admitted it was true. She even told me how it all happened. She said she had to avoid the father of my sister for years just to try to keep that secret. I think she felt a sense of relief once she admitted the truth out loud. After she passed away I told my sister what my mom had told me, which I think brought some comfort, but also pain because she wanted my dad to be her real dad so much.
Wow. Very similar stories. Thank you for sharing.
This was great Dr. Trish. What a treat to have an interview with the actual author. I really enjoyed it! I hope she will continue to blossom on this journey.
To have to deal with the outside everyday from a child to an adult alone, wow! Praying for you! You will find your father and family. You are speaking about it, first step.
🙏🏾
This was a wonderful interview! Thanks to Georgina Lawton for sharing her story here. Very fascinating. There is so much to uncover when it comes to family secrets and as DNA tests becomes more widely available, I suspect there will be more of these secrets uncovered.
Thanks for watching. So true. Family secrets are so hard on families, but they are hard to keep hidden now with the popularity of DNA tests.
Great interview and she gave really helpful advice at the end. For me it was how come you didn’t know you were adopted…, I knew my mother wasn’t my biological mother because I just felt it but my parents lied to me my entire life until death… so did my entire family…I was most certain after my father’s death and I couldn’t get a copy of my birth certificate ( to obtain his death certificate)….because they make you so many amended copies after you’re adopted it was the first time I ever tried to get a new copy. Let’s talk about adoptees not being entitled to their true birth records…anyway I found out through AncestryDNA that I had 11 siblings….3 of which are younger siblings from my biological mother. My birth story is a whole hot mess and I’m still angry at everyone for their secrets and lies. The most hurtful thing is that all these years (49) my bio mother didn’t tell my younger siblings and now they don’t want anything to do with me. She’s still ashamed for other family members to find out and doesn’t understand or care why that is so hurtful to me.
Thank you, Dr Trish, for this interview. Georgina has a remarkable story and I am glad that Georgina is so strong that she was able to overcome this trauma and move forward gracefully through her life.
That was such an great interview! My husband and I are considering adopting children in the future, and we had already decided that we are open to any ethnicity/race. We are both white/Euro American. I’m very interested in learning more about what it’s like to be black both because it actively helps me to not be racist and because I am considering adopting black children.
This was particularly eye opening to me as an example of maybe how not to raise a black or mixed child in an otherwise white family. Sometimes some truths have to be admitted and accepted for someone to develop their complete identity. I identify as European American instead of “white” because “white” would erase the (admittedly small) differences between the different European heritages that I’ve come from. The Swedish/English side of my family is very different from the Dutch/English. I’m not comfortable losing that nuance in a “white” identity.
Also, I quit lurking around and subscribed already. I love your content.
I think it’s great that you’re taking the time to be well informed before adopting. Sounds like you’re an amazing mom. Wishing you all the very best on your adoption journey. ❤️
Thank you Georgina for sharing your story.
I agree about therapy. It really can be a useful tool in life's toolbox, if you can access it.
I almost think that DNA tests should come with at least one pre-results talk with a councilor. Just to educate people on what their results could reflect and resources to turn to if needed.
I’m reading her book now. I wish her mother had been more forthcoming about her heritage.
This is such an honest and enlightening interview. I wish her success in life and you as well Dr Trish. Well done.
Thank you!
Good interview
Family secrets are horrible, my dad was the product of an affair that I discovered thru Dna.
Family secrets leave children and even grandchildren with so many questions. All the best to you. ❤️
Interesting book and interview. It ties in to the challenge that family secrets have no matter what they are. I also watched Lacy Schwartz’s powerful documentary. The secrets of an affair which produces a child who looks so different from other family members and it is never discussed. Another very poignant watch is Family Secrets showed on SBS Insight. It is available on RUclips. Thank you.
this was a great interview. i'm glad her hosted her. Georgina is very well spoken. more power to her
Thank you Dr. Trish for sharing this interesting story by this amazing author. I did buy the the book audio. I truly enjoyed the book.
Thank you for sharing.
This was great! It’s fantastic to see how Georgina has discovered and owned her identity - an example for the rest of us!
Thank you for sharing. Jxx
Wow! Speechless.
Excellent interview!
An eye opener.
Great interview! I can't wait for her next book!
Me too. She’s a great writer.
Nice interview 😍
She should take 23 and Me and Ancestry too.
ok, so I believe that I have missed something. I thought she was adopted. But was she actually mixed race as a result of her mother having had an affair? Ok, I finally got to the point where she made it clear what she was speaking specifically about.
Georgina: you are beautiful no matter what your race is!
Her father probably knew, loved his daughter anyway
Could this Beautiful Young Lady have been this man’s Biological Daughter? I want to read this book!
I don’t see the issue if one has no problem of mixed race children being label as “black” and ignoring the multicultural heritage said child then it shouldn’t be a problem is done the other way
Hi there. Thank you for the comment. This video isn’t about how mixed race children are labeled. This is an interview with Georgina Lawton, author of the memoir, Raceless. She discovered in her 20s after takIng a DNA test that her parents had not been truthful about her identity.
Fabbeyond- I think the difference is that if a mixed race child is labeled black (ignoring the multicultural heritage) it’s not always obvious. I guess it depends on the features of the child how much they fit in with their community. But if you have a mixed race child being labeled as white (again ignoring the multicultural heritage) then it’s usually more obvious. I have heard of mixed race children that were light skinned but black heritage and they grew up with issues of not feeling black enough.
Georgina’s story is different because her multicultural heritage wasn’t ignored, it was denied. She was lied to about these features and why she had them. It’s like being gas lit for her entire upbringing.
Listening to this episode, I see how I didn’t help my son while he was growing up. I was asked when he was about 18 months how we (my white ex husband) planned to raise him, white or black? My answer was like a human being. Growing up, my family didn’t talk about traditionally black things and we spent a lot of our time not in black communities, schools or churches. So I never realized how much my son or for that matter myself, was missing. Looking at this, I see how confusing it must have been for him growing up. I home schooled him to avoid the preconceived idea that he was somehow less intelligent than his white peers. But he didn’t understand that at 5 when his teacher refused to call on him she was doing so because she thought he was somehow less. I see that I was hurt and wasn’t able to give to him what he needed to be alright. Many things are clearer now.
She is beautiful. Continue to be yourself. There is no exact way to be black.( you are right).
I truly ADMIRE this lady. Kudos to her!! She was, imo, emotionally abused as a child. At first I thought her mom was selfish in how she raised her daughter but thinking about it I believe her mom's behavior in raising her was cultural since her mom was probably raised to the British way of "keeping a stiff upper lip" and keep family secrets. It seems so strange to me, but God made each of us different. I'm glad Georgina is healing and has forgiven her parents, especially her mom. May God continue to BLESS her. 😍😍👏👏🙏🙏👍👍Btw, the human race is so VILE and UGLY when it comes to "RACE" and it's not just the white race that behaves in this manner. It's ALL races/ethnicities, but some more than others.
One Race the Human Race . This is about cultural differences. Your das love you for you is daughter ❤🌈
Not really. If you enter the world as a black child, your parents need to acknowledge rot because you aren’t treated the same. One human race comments erase real differences in how POC experience the world.
Not just her skin but the hair is a dead giveaway.
Her mom did her wrong but she is an awesome person despite it
Hi may I ask did your mum have you before she met your dad who died or did she have affair when with your dad hope you find your dad will have other family members