HOW TO TELL THEM YOU WANT TO BE A HOMEMAKER / DEALING WITH NEGATIVITY AS A HOMEMAKER
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How to tell your friends you want to be a homemaker how to tell your family you want to be a stay at home mom , how to tell others you are going to be a homemaker , homemaking , dealing with negativity as a homemaker , 
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I am a lawyer with three degrees. When my second son was born with Autism I chose to be a full-time home keeper and work out of the home part-time. My work at home is 100% more important than anything I do outside of the home.
Wow, that is awesome! Thank you for sharing!❤️
God bless you.
Yes,,The zLord bless you and give you wisdom and strength !
When you decide to become a homemaker:
Your family and friends- don't tell them. Let them see you live it out.
If your friends have a problem with it: time for new friends
If your family has a problem with it: ignore them
Good tip;)
Beautiful.
I am an empty-nester to 4 beautiful children. I didn't want anyone else raising my children. They were a gift to me. 🌹
That is so wonderful! I completely agree with you! 💕
Amen sister ❤
Wow, I LOVE this video. Warning: THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG, BUT IM VERY PASSIONATE!!!! This has been a really tough journey for me. Growing up, I was always in "gifted and talented classes" constantly being pressured into progressive ideals (that's another topic I won't get into right now) and that college and an elite career is the only way to success. When you're in that environment, of course you want to be viewed as successful. You want teachers and your parents to praise / be proud of you. I fed into this lie so hard. After high school , I went to a pretty good private college (American University) and was actually even pursuing a degree in gender studies!! I was constantly at odds with myself there. Thought maybe I just wasn't ready for college which DEVASTATED my parents beyond belief. I got married at 19 and joined the Army as a paralegal. My husband was already in the Army at that point, so we were stationed together. It was really tough being is such a male dominated environment as a woman. I mean, for me, it was literally soul crushing. The good thing is I learned I did NOT want to pursue a law degree. The work-life balance was just completely out of whack with how I knew I wanted to live my life. STILL THOUGH, I was refusing to accept my deepest and what I believe God directed desires. I had had "baby fever" since I was like 20 and just kept brushing it off, brushing it off. Saying ,"we're too young" or "we need to be established in careers first". It wasn't until I got out of the Army, started going back to college, went through a life altering depression that I realized I wasn't living the life I was meant to live. I had let feminism and my family's wishes corrupt my life path! I was ignoring God speaking to me, because I wanted to be "successful". I wanted my family to be proud of me. I wanted to crush it in an elite career. BOLOGNE!! Finally, my husband convinced me to live MY life. TO be who I wanted and who I was meant to be. Now, I am a stay at home Mom with a 5 month old and have literally never been happier in my entire life. I'm living my childhood dream of making almost everything myself. I always wanted to be a farmer, but learned quickly that was not an "acceptable" career from my teachers in school. Screw that! Now I am beginning that path and at the same time strengthening my walk with God :)!
I do hope this made sense. I'm so passionate about it and it's such a long timeline that it's kind of hard to organize and stay concise. Anyway, THANKS FOR THIS VIDEO!!!!
Oh my goodness, hearing these type of testimonies and stories just warms my heart!!! Thank you SO much for sharing this with us! 💕💕
@Amina Meziani What you wrote is exactly the struggle I've had. My whole life (I'm 39) I was encouraged away from the traditional role, and I believed the feminist lie that to do so was to buy into the patriarchy. When I was a girl, I did want to have a family young, like my mum did (she married at 19 and had all 4 children by the time she was 30). Yet, I found myself chasing career and interweb fame doing a RUclips channel (which I still do, but it's not my whole life now). Anyway, as it turned out, I didn't get married until I was 31 and we struggle to conceive. Eventually, when I was 35 I had my first, and am now finally pregnant with number 2 (after another 3.5 years trying). But I've found myself sitting around at home not quite knowing what to do with myself, resenting my "oppression". I'm only now embracing the possibilities. I've always been a jack of all trades, and could never decide on one career path. I'm perfectly suited for a homemaker life with projects and DIY, creative outlets and taking my children on adventures. It's been right here this whole time.
I'm happy I found this channel. It's inspiring me to make the most of the fortunate position I'm in. I don't have to, nor need to have a career. But I ought to be here for my family. Sorry for the long reply, but your comment resonated with me.
Our life shouldn’t be merely the pursuit of our career, but the pursuit of the will of God and whatever that entails. The Lord will always provide, even sometimes if that means humbling ourselves to accept his gifts in an unconventional way.
Amen💕
Right now I’m a nanny and I realized this is the most fulfilling job that I’ve ever had. If I had kids I think I would want to be a stay at home mom because it’s a very similar thing but even more special because it’s with your own kids.
Oh my goodness, that is awesome! Way to go!:)
You're in a very similar situation that I am in, I recently became more invested in starting babysitting, and I am slowly but surely getting into it, planning to do it for the long run. I love being around kids and babies, so that was a job that I definitely felt was my calling, but I do not desire to work any longer once I am married, and once I have children, I will be able to take care my own full time. So majority of my life will be revolving around kids, which I love.
I worked for 21 years. Had a great job and made good money. I just had my 5th child and my husband said hey, I got this. You stay home now. Eveyone patted me on thre back while I was working and said how hard I worked. Now the same people laugh at me and I'm busier than ever
Oh my goodness, that is so sad. It doesn’t surprise me though. :/ wow, five kids, that is so neat, but you must be crazy busy! Way to go! I respect women like you so much!
This is so perfect! I’ve had to defend my choices so much when choosing to be a housewife. It seems so looked down upon! Being a homemaker is the best/most challenging job I’ve ever had, but I know I was 100% created for this!
Thank you. Oh my goodness, it’s sad how many women have to deal with that. :/ thank you for reaching out! ❤️
This video is going to be so good for me when I become a homemaker. I already know that my family is going to be so negative about it but that doesn’t prevent me from becoming what I am meant to be.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. That is really neat though that despite the negativity you know what you’d love to do!:)
Yes, this!!! I would consider myself a feminist, and I wouldn't identify myself as a conservative nor am I a Christian. However, it has always been my choice to stay home with my kids and be a homemaker. My husband and I have very traditional roles as I do most of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, bake bread, garden etc and he works full-time. I absolutely love being a mom and a housewife. I also homeschool my kids. I have had negative feedback. Some women are jealous, some women raise their eyebrows at me, as in "why don't you work more?" Now, at 44, I am getting to the point where I do not care, this life belongs to ourselves and at the end of our lives, our biggest regrets will be living our lives to pleae other people. The world needs more voices such as yours because caring for a home, a family, children is a very, very important job. =)
Wow, thank you very much for sharing your story. It is so encouraging to hear from women who have done this for many years and do not regret it for a moment! ❤️
@@BecauseitMatters I have been doing this since my first child was born and he's now 15.5. I wouldn't change it for anything either. :)
This is exactly me also
it’s so sad this is our reality that we have to fight to do what feels most natural
Yes! Amen to that! ❤️
Thank you for the tips! I am still studying and i know for sure once i am blessed with children i'd rather become a homemaker.I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but I've been told several times that I should study hard and get a good job so that I'm not reliant on my husband. I came across your RUclips channel today, and it makes me happy to know that it's a dream worth pursuing, and that I shouldn't be ashamed of wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, regardless of what people tell me. In today's world, it is ideal for me to raise my children rather than for someone else to do so.
Yes, yes, yes!:) this comment makes me so happy! ❤️❤️
Sigh. I believe God is calling me to be a housewife. But the thing is… I’m not married nor do I have kids. However, when I fasted and prayed I felt it in my spirit… I hope I’m not crazy lol. Please pray for me so that I may find a man of God and I fulfill my calling in the ministry of home-making. 💜
That is wonderful!:)
I really like your videos and as a stay at home mom of teens, I completely agree and can say it’s been sooo worth it! I always wanted to be the house in the neighborhood where all the kids came to and I am! I babysat as well and helped out when there were snow days and neighborhood parents still had to work - their kids would come over and entertain my kids. I was a latch key kid growing up and didn’t want thst for my children. Downsizing your life to accommodate this lifestyle is worth it for your whole family!
Hi Sarah! TY for the time you chose to devote to this precious video. I am 67 and I have done it all in the arena of staying home with my girls / working 40 hours per week in an office/ having a home business only / working retail / being a pastor’s wife and serving my church. Please allow me to say that I am proud of you and that you listen to God’s direction in your life and do whatever HE tells you to do. He will take care of you as long as you obey His leading and direction, no matter which way He tells you to turn, in the seasons of your life. Amen.
Oh my goodness, thank you so much Debbie! 💕 you are so encouraging! Wow, you sound very impressive!!! Thank you for this encouragement!:)
I love this video and can totally relate. Even though I've been a stay at home mom for the past 32 yrs, with raising 12 children, 4 which are still living at home and homeschooling my children, I have had to defend my choice for many, many years. Now, I find myself encouraging young women to be a homemaker if their hearts are leading them in this direction. If they have children, I strongly encourage them to be a stay at home mom if this desire has been placed on their hearts. I enjoy teaching my daughters, daughter-in-laws and other young women I meet different skills I've learned over the years that as homemakers or stay home moms we can do to make our husband's income to stretch or skills that can be used to bring in some extra money. I am passionate on this career and love hearing your take on your homemaking adventures.
Also, being a stay at home mom, I feel, is THEE most important job in the whole world, because as a mother, you are raising the next generation. You are raising the next generation of scientists, scholars, doctors, farmers, world leaders and more. As mothers we have a major influence as to what direction the world will go, by how we raise and what we teach our children. We have the option to help our children to develop a belief, how to live lives that are honoring to God, and to grow as a Christian over the worldly ways more so than if we sent our children to daycare for 8 hours out of the day.
Thank you for making a video and hopefully more that will be supportive of women choosing this career over working outside our homes.
It is so inspiring hearing from women like you! Wow! You must have such a wealth of knowledge after raising 12 children!
I love all that you had to share! It is so wonderful meeting women who share similar views and understand the importance of our job. Thank you very much for that encouragement! 💕
I'm sorry but your child is literally the cutest thing in the world
Oh, you are so kind! Thank you!:)
I just told my parents I want to be a homemaker. Hell broke lose. 💔. But am determined. In Sha Allah. Love your video
Oh, I am so sorry! That is terrible!
I am relatively new at homemaking and haven't told my parents that I plan to stay home. They think I am out looking for a traditional job right now. I am so afraid of what they are going to say. I am sure I will be called all sorts of things, but I know in my heart my job is to take care of my partner and make his life easier. He encourages me to be a homemaker and ignore the outside negativity but its hard when you are so used to trying to get approval.
Good for you. 💕 being a homemaker is such a fulfilling job. I am so happy your partner is supportive. ❤️
That's right, ignore the haters and negativity, you do you 🌟💞
This happened to me with my own father. Eventually he just had to get used to it. 😆
Not to say it wasn't hurtful, but I am now ready to do what's best for family's life
I've slowly started to mention to my family that I desire to be a homemaker. I was pretty scared at first but they've been pretty open and receptive to the idea. They've encouraged me to finish my education first just in case I would have to be part time initially. I'm very excited for the future :)
Oh that is awesome! Way to go!💕
@@BecauseitMatters thank you
That's great news. I am also planning on receiving an education so that I can do some work from home, but also so I have something to fall back on just in case things work out, even though I'm sure it will. Education is still important, and I don't care what anyone thinks about my decision, because they've always encouraged me to do whatever my heart desires, so I'm going to, even if it's not a career where I leave my house every morning.
That’s so rare and such a blessing your family supports you. My family told me over and over don’t get married in my early 20s, then when I did they said don’t get pregnant... I know they’re just waiting for my kids to reach school age so I can “catch up” in life to my female cousins with careers. They haven’t accepted yet that I want to homeschool...
Oh, that is sad, but so very relatable to so many women! 😂 I remember mom telling me so many people thought she was utterly crazy to have kids young- and then have six- and then homeschool.
It is funny now though, because her work and sacrifice has paid off and I think many of those who once judged her, now are reconsidering, and are actually pretty impressed:) ❤️
Everyone was also horrified that so far none of my siblings have gone to college. Now three out of the four graduated, run their own very successful businesses and have little to no debt. 😂
I’m super proud of my mom for doing what she felt God called her to do, and ignoring the criticism. ❤️❤️
Thanks for the encouragement! Like you, I lucked out with my family - they're all very traditional Christians and think there's nothing more fulfilling for a woman to do than keep her home and raise her family. My FRIENDS, on the other hand...! "What are you thinking for college?" "I don't really have a career interest so I might not go." "Oh, you've gotta go to college." (moves on with the conversation in a different direction) Even some of my church friends were like "So you want to JUST be a wife and mother?" I feel fairly secure in my choice, but this video bolsters me even more.
I am so happy this video has been an encouragement to you. ❤️
Thank you so much for this! I love how you referenced scriptures. So helpful!
You have put it so beautifully, thank you. 🙏
Thank you! 💕💕
Wow what a powerful message, thanks for you videos
Oh, well thank you for this encouraging comment!:)
Thank you so much! ❤️ This helped a lot.
Awe, I’m so glad! Thank you for the wonderful idea! 💕
Thank you so much for this video! It is so incredibly helpful! You are such a God sent blessing!
Oh my goodness, thank you! 💕
Hey thank you for sharing! I just found your channel a few days ago and I really appreciate the content.
Oh, thank you so much!:)
Omg thank you so much for this video, its as if God heard my prayers!! Ive been trying to figure out how to tell my parents and how to deal with their horrible thoughts towards it. Thank you so much.
Oh my goodness, well thank you for this encouragement. I am so sorry you have to deal with that type of a situation. I hope it goes well! ❤️
has anyone here dealt with criticism and condemnation for being a stay at home wife without children? I struggle greatly with this. Family assumes I'm lazy and dont want to "contribute" even though I try to be a hard worker of our home
You are definitely not alone in having these feelings! I have definitely felt this way many times before!
You are definitely not alone in having these feelings! I have definitely felt this way many times before!
My aunt is in her 70s and always had negative feedback from people for not working. She doesn't give a dang about what they say, but I'm sure it was hurtful at first
Yes! All though they would never say it to my face! I usually get the “what do you do all day”?! I would be so bored. Or the “must be nice”. 😏 I just say yep it is. Also I work harder at this job then I ever did out in “the real world” as they like to say. I’m never bored! There is always something that needs to be done. It’s the most rewarding job I’ve ever had. Personally I think more and more people are realizing that maybe going back to the old way of doing things isn’t such a bad idea. People are overworked, underpaid, undervalued and missing their families. In the end that’s the only thing that really matters in this life. Family. No one ever says on their death bed, “sure wish I would’ve put in those extra hours at work” 😏 no instead they wish they would’ve spent more time with the ones they love. 🥰
It was very lonely for me , my parents are so angry and I had to go against them ! I had to shut them down completely and relationships are not the same
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. That sounds so difficult. Wow! 😥
Well, that's their lost, all you can do is make yourself happy, this is your journey, you have the rights to accept what works or doesn't, honestly the best you can do is just keep growing and getting better as a person.
Same here....trying to find a support system online because it's a very lonely life
Such an inspiring video. ♥️♥️
Thank you so much!:)
I love this! Way to empower women❤️
Thank you! ❤️
I love this
I love your videos
Thank you so much! 💕
I literally looked up.... "How to be a better homemaker"and you came up. I am so happu I just found you. Godbless.
Awe, this makes me so happy!:) I am blessed to share in this community!:)
Funny thing is that in the past be a homemaker was perfectly normal and women prepare themselves to be a wife.
So do you need to save up a lot of money or the couple works together to pull together resources? Does the homemaker have a stay at home job or work part time? My parents both worked but I did see my mom a lot when I was a kid; she worked at night and my dad worked during the day.
I literally just learned about the term homemaker from a friend, I thought it was someone who makes homes like a builder XD
Stay at home mom, now that's a term I could get behind; she wants to win the lottery so get rich so she can, and I told her just like in life it's hard work if you want to succeed and yes I am a hard worker and I'd like someone who can help contribute to bills and stuff too because things like rent and other expenses it's almost impossible to provide for 2 people when only one is working lol.
Great questions. :)
Going into marriage I had saved a chunk of money which was very helpful getting started, especially with house expenses and such.
I continued to work until we had our first child.
Then we both decided it would be worth less income for me to stay home to take care of my daughter, the house, as well as helping my husband on his days off with remodeling homes.
While me mainly being home has worked out tremendously well for us, and I take my job of running a house, being a mother, wife and helper to my man, very seriously, i certainly don’t think all women, or men have to aim for this lifestyle. It just suits my family and I really well and personally I would never change my chosen lifestyle, for having a bigger house, or fancy boat, or such.
We live fairly simply, both work very hard, and love being able to all be together much of the time. :)
Oh, and I loved that you thought being a homemaker meant you built homes! It does actually sound like that! 😂👍🏻
I'm actually quite surprised that in a Christian community you experienced negativity. Many wives and mothers are often looked at sideways when they have children and want (or need) to work outside the home. Many churches assume that all mothers are fulltime homemakers and only organize bible studies, social events etc during the day when working moms are at work. It seems we can't win whichever way we go sometimes.
I come from a Christian family and they all are against housewives
I think we as mothers must be fully convinced in our own minds about why we are making the decisions we’re making, so we are less swayed by the opinion of others.
While the church I attend, does highly encourage mothers to be the main raisers of their children when at all possible, I actually believe that is becoming a rare experience within the American church as a whole.
Due to the huge about of women who share their stories with me through comments, I definitely think that many mothers still experience tremendous negativity by other Christian’s over their choice to stay at home.
Sandwiches and all day sex sounds fantastic, what’s not to like?
Haha, 😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why do you Pin feminists against homemakers based on the words of ONE woman? I'm both and now feel alienated from your channel. This doesn't need to be woman versus woman. We should pursue unity and mutual respect. Your sister is NOT your enemy.
I appreciate hearing your perspective. When I use the term feminist perhaps I should clarify, I am not speaking of women who believe in equality, because I believe in that as well, I am more referring to the more radical feminist, who by your words I would definitely not assume you to be, that do very much attack the stay at home moms and the traditional family.
I do agree though that I should make that more clear. ❤️
I appreciate hearing your perspective. When I use the term feminist perhaps I should clarify, I am not speaking of women who believe in equality, because I believe in that as well, I am more referring to the more radical feminist, who by your words I would definitely not assume you to be, that do very much attack the stay at home moms and the traditional family.
I do agree though that I should make that more clear, and I certainly did not intend to make you feel alienated from this channel. 💕
Name a feminist author who has praised homemaking.
She didn't pin fems against homemakers. Actually watch the video first before commenting. Oh, and, there are plenty of femanazi channels out there that you can watch.
@@sidecar7714 👌🏻
Just so you know, it’s pronounced « See-moan deuh bo-vwa »
Thanks:)