Best HFY Reddit Stories: Don't F*ck With Our Boats (r/HFY)

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  • Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
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Комментарии • 424

  • @NetNarrator
    @NetNarrator  2 года назад +198

    100% of the revenue I make from this video will be split between the following military charities!
    www.helpforheroes.org.uk/
    www.woundedwarriorproject.org/

    • @willparry530
      @willparry530 2 года назад +1

      A worthy thing to do. :) Take my upvote, and my comment for the algorithm. ^_^

    • @gdragonlord749
      @gdragonlord749 Год назад +4

      The funny thing about us as a violent species is that we made a code of ethics to make war less bad. Kind of ironic if you ask me. We also don't like overextending ourselves as it caused numerous empires to fall in the past.

    • @bansagleon8543
      @bansagleon8543 Год назад

      Based

  • @camronloesel5243
    @camronloesel5243 2 года назад +1481

    "We sunk three boats and they dropped the sun on us twice"

    • @jeremyszpicki491
      @jeremyszpicki491 2 года назад +183

      You really should have chosen someone elses boats pal.

    • @BrunoMaricFromZagreb
      @BrunoMaricFromZagreb 2 года назад +42

      Ah!A Muselk referenxe!Huzzah!A man of quality!

    • @danielstellmon5330
      @danielstellmon5330 2 года назад +69

      Only twice? The humans were being nice. Think about that before you make humans mad.

    • @petrimal
      @petrimal 2 года назад +99

      @@danielstellmon5330 I think he was actually refering to Hiroshima and Nagasaki XD

    • @brianlance8263
      @brianlance8263 2 года назад +75

      @@petrimal If I remember correctly, we did in fact only have 5 boats compleatly sunk in Pearl Harbour, but two of them were "repaired" by taking some of the internals and putting new ships around them. Also if I remember correctly, the three ships not repaired at all were the Arizona, the Oklahoma, and a harbour tug boat. (Please note this is just off the top of my head.)

  • @kleinjahr
    @kleinjahr 2 года назад +932

    Alien: They're throwing rocks! We have plasma cannons and lasers. We will win!. Other Alien: You think you can win against people who are willing to throw rocks against plasma cannons and lasers?

    • @Wayofswords
      @Wayofswords 2 года назад +74

      Yes and I'll do it with a cocktail too

    • @TheDragShot
      @TheDragShot 2 года назад +159

      You see, you're not dealing with your average rock thrower. These humans are _quite good_ at throwing rocks.

    • @ChronoTriggerHappy
      @ChronoTriggerHappy 2 года назад +109

      10,000 years of perfecting the art of throwing rocks, we are really really REALLY good at it.

    • @Pink_Invader
      @Pink_Invader 2 года назад +47

      you see, we are throwing rocks that can go almost to the speed of sound, so yeah.....

    • @WE_DONT_LIE
      @WE_DONT_LIE Год назад +36

      @@Pink_Invader the Brownlee manhole cover traveling at 130,000 mph am I a joke to you

  • @barstool9156
    @barstool9156 Год назад +115

    “ as a result, hulls became much thinner. “
    Loads HE rounds with malicious intent

    • @xlxRavegerxlx
      @xlxRavegerxlx Год назад +4

      Yikes how very unlucky

    • @levantdiggerus3473
      @levantdiggerus3473 Год назад +11

      Do we have space A10s?
      We need space A10s.

    • @barstool9156
      @barstool9156 Год назад +8

      @@levantdiggerus3473 I agree. We should start a petition for Space A10s

  • @jackslash9403
    @jackslash9403 Год назад +263

    The moment i heard the fact that the ships and shields where specifically designed for plasma and lasers all i could think was, "well that was a mistake, humans specialize in ballistic, impact based, fuck you weaponry."

    • @WE_DONT_LIE
      @WE_DONT_LIE Год назад +62

      Ah yes are ancient traditions of throwing rock at high speeds at each other

    • @danzydan2479
      @danzydan2479 Год назад +12

      Fark, that made me laugh.

    • @js1970nj
      @js1970nj 9 месяцев назад +4

      -dying of laughter-

    • @wakcedout
      @wakcedout 9 месяцев назад +8

      Akin to Star gate sg1 with the replicator war. Humans were needed by The Asgard because they’d “forgotten how to think the way humans did”.

    • @glytchmeister9856
      @glytchmeister9856 8 месяцев назад +8

      Armor-piercing-fin-stabilized-discarding-sabot-get-your-day-fucked-up-round

  • @stevensutton3577
    @stevensutton3577 2 года назад +295

    Aliens: Noooo you can't just use ballistics in war.
    Humans: HAHA depleted uranium gun go bbbbrrrrrr

    • @233Deadman
      @233Deadman 2 года назад +55

      The description of guns firing in a "cyclic" manner just made me wonder if we built ships around a single massive rotary cannon, like a giant A-10.
      Presumably at the very least there was one engineer who came up with that and proceeded to madly cackle with glee.

    • @steveisthecommissar4013
      @steveisthecommissar4013 2 года назад +38

      @@233Deadman that is most definitely something we whoud try to do and I’d gladly throw my tax dollars at it

    • @medigjl4
      @medigjl4 Год назад +29

      "Requesting air support."
      "Copy."
      *railgun go brrrrrrrrrrt*

    • @AceDan-gc9po
      @AceDan-gc9po Год назад +19

      Problem humans have a emotional attachment to rapid fire kinetic ordnance and we have no armour

    • @gabrielc7861
      @gabrielc7861 Год назад +16

      @@233Deadman we don't put guns on ships, we put ships on guns.

  • @someoneawesome8717
    @someoneawesome8717 Год назад +395

    I love when aliens find out why humans have the Genova Convention by telling them Space War has no rules

    • @singletona082
      @singletona082 Год назад +90

      'Rules? We... don't have....'
      Humanity: You Will.

    • @gilmadreth680
      @gilmadreth680 Год назад +95

      Xenos: There are no rules in war!!
      Human Warhawks: Good news, everyone! The Geneva Conventions just became a checklist!

    • @godofflames5427
      @godofflames5427 Год назад

      Part of the shit part of the poo if you know you know

    • @MichaelBW-bn9gf
      @MichaelBW-bn9gf Год назад +38

      ​@@gilmadreth680 *sabaton starts playing in the distance* xenose be like "why do I hear Boss music"

    • @n7honeybadger103
      @n7honeybadger103 Год назад

      ​@gilmadreth680 Always has been. The trick is to kick out the reporters and distract the politicians with car keys or something shiny.

  • @jzapien1377
    @jzapien1377 2 года назад +70

    I’m sitting in my bricks in Okinawa and all I could think of was “ yeah you fucked with the Marines… that’s on you “

    • @ford6
      @ford6 Год назад +1

      Yep, they f'ed around and found out.

    • @carsoncasmirri3874
      @carsoncasmirri3874 11 месяцев назад

      Oki gang. Don’t miss the Corps but I miss that island sometimes. If you’re still there get some cocos for me will ya?

    • @jzapien1377
      @jzapien1377 11 месяцев назад

      @@carsoncasmirri3874 they got spice level 20 now ill ruin my weekend

    • @ElainCorrine
      @ElainCorrine 9 месяцев назад

      Old Marines never die. They just get orders to take a different beach.

  • @savevsdeath
    @savevsdeath 2 года назад +296

    As a former sailor I can safely say this story is entirely believable.
    Don't fuck with our boats.

    • @deathdooddieimmortalbastard
      @deathdooddieimmortalbastard Год назад +9

      Second that I'm a sailor 🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

    • @joshuaholmes468
      @joshuaholmes468 Год назад +1

      Yup currently a Sailor as well

    • @Zael_Moonblade
      @Zael_Moonblade Год назад +3

      Operation Praying Mantis anyone?

    • @sailirish7
      @sailirish7 10 месяцев назад +1

      *Ships. Unless you are a fellow bubblehead, then boats :)

  • @nooblangpoo
    @nooblangpoo 2 года назад +33

    >made saturn's moons into training bases
    Fort Polk, Enceladus

    • @WE_DONT_LIE
      @WE_DONT_LIE Год назад +1

      Mars with the bfg

    • @mrnasty2757
      @mrnasty2757 Год назад +1

      Hopefully there’s not huge ice mosquitoes there😂

  • @sam2x13
    @sam2x13 Год назад +15

    It's not just rocks that we throw. Humans are also known to throw telephone poles faster than the speed of sound. Heck,, we will throw anything just to see what it does...

    • @calanon534
      @calanon534 8 месяцев назад +2

      At least those poor Alien bastards never had to deal with the Floridian 14th Gator Cavalry and their infamous motto: "Hey, Earl... hold my beer, and watch this!"

  • @antimatter1075
    @antimatter1075 2 года назад +114

    If I could draw better I wish I could draw what it looked like on an enemy command deck as a full salvo hit all their fleet at once, tactical nuclear warheads, depleted uranium rods and maybe a gravity slingshot assisted asteroid storm from multiple directions to stop any FTL retreat. Also great video

    • @willparry530
      @willparry530 2 года назад

      that would be nice :)

    • @Gizero7
      @Gizero7 2 года назад

      Full send and try it. Won't get better until you keep trying it. Don't be discouraged because you can't do it at someone else's level. Work at it and one day you can be awesome at it. Even if you are only a fraction better today than yesterday that is still improvement. Even if it starts out with stick figures I'd live to see it.

    • @antimatter1075
      @antimatter1075 2 года назад +3

      @@Gizero7 let me rephrase my statement, what I want to draw does not match my actual art style and I can't draw what I see in my head but can draw a pretty good copy of something I am looking at. Also I can't draw with color, only shades because my brain is just weird and only looks at shades and details but not color and stuff like that so I can only really use pencil and pen sometimes. Thanks for the pep talk though

    • @williamrekow7513
      @williamrekow7513 Год назад

      If random RUclips commenter's are designing tactics against FTL enemies the likes of which we've never seen, and which may not even exist... That says a lot.

    • @antimatter1075
      @antimatter1075 Год назад

      @@williamrekow7513 i just like speculating, also i personally doubt we will ever encounter advanced life for a couple thousand years, the universe is still kind of young

  • @Nyghtking
    @Nyghtking 2 года назад +90

    I like stories like these, it's probably better then what we would actually do if we got to that point.

    • @kopkaljdsao
      @kopkaljdsao 2 года назад +17

      7 billion enemies dead for 600 million human lives. Numbers seem reasonable. That is 10/1 KD ratio and in line with human bloodlust.

    • @Nyghtking
      @Nyghtking 2 года назад +17

      @@kopkaljdsao Well what i'm getting at is realistically we wouldn't stop.
      We already have human casualties as collateral damage on "accident" in our own wars and we're all human, against an alien species that doesn't look like us or sound like us I don't see us treating them anything like us really.

    • @Gizero7
      @Gizero7 2 года назад +11

      @@kopkaljdsao The best way to storm an enemy stronghold would be to just make it a crater.

    • @Akabans999
      @Akabans999 2 года назад +2

      @@Nyghtking yup just look at all franchises with sentient biengs not looking like humans with diferent skin color or body with extra bits and how they are threated >>> racism, slavery, exploitation on varius scakes ect.

    • @kopkaljdsao
      @kopkaljdsao 2 года назад +1

      @@Nyghtking realistically the aliens would have glassed Earth. Narratively story reminds me of USA and Perl Harbour: enemy does a sudden devastating strategic attack, then USA/humans win naval war. Culminating in a sudden surrender after nukes(glassing a planet with nuckes would explain the billions lost).

  • @Its_shiki_time4876
    @Its_shiki_time4876 2 года назад +25

    Only 300 divisions? The soviets alone had 550 divisions humanity at this point should be able to produce thousands of divisions

    • @rodgemic
      @rodgemic 2 года назад +12

      we resized... A Division is now much bigger...

    • @captiancholera8459
      @captiancholera8459 2 года назад +6

      @@rodgemic that would actually make sense, planets are large. Our traditional division sizes of 10-20,000 would be inadequate for garrisoning entire sections of a world.

    • @calanon534
      @calanon534 8 месяцев назад

      Each Division is probably on the order of several hundred Battalions - or, they're each "nation-separated," with the largest nations getting more than one Division, and a full "Corps" being a continent's entire Divisions, or parts of Continents. There's over 150 nations on Earth that are recognized. If you took the entire current and potential force sizes for each major Continent, those 300 Divisions could range in size from one Division including all headquartered troops on the US East Coast (National Guard included, all units kept with the same unit numbers, but sizes drastically inflated to account for recruitment), to one Division being the entire military force of, say, Greece. So, the Divisions may not have uniform sizes, and some "Divisions" would probably act more like a World War 2 "Army Group" of multiple Corps-sized forces, while others behaved as just enlarged/expanded "Divisions" as we see them today.

  • @brigidtheirish
    @brigidtheirish 11 месяцев назад +7

    "That will pierce the heavens."
    "Row, row, fight the powah."

  • @SolTerran5050
    @SolTerran5050 6 месяцев назад +3

    Two things not to mess with!
    1. Our Boats
    2. Marines
    😂😂😂😂

  • @KuDastardly
    @KuDastardly 9 месяцев назад +2

    The fact that other alien factions wanted to adopt human doctrines into their military makes me think they've been using Star Wars Napoleonic tactics to fight all ground wars.

  • @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH
    @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH 2 года назад +6

    Bless the Narrator
    Bless the Author

  • @MikMoen
    @MikMoen Год назад +2

    I love this, Mass Accelerators go BRRRRT.

  • @joshmcdonald5520
    @joshmcdonald5520 Год назад +2

    "It became worrisome to -NOT- ally with humanity..."

  • @greenphoenix7365
    @greenphoenix7365 Год назад +2

    more like "they dont give us enough reason yet"

  • @GeorgeOrwell-yz6zx
    @GeorgeOrwell-yz6zx Год назад +1

    I really liked this story. Thanks Net

  • @CT-1035
    @CT-1035 Год назад +1

    The thumbnail is what happened to the last person who touched out boats

  • @AmericanCaesarian
    @AmericanCaesarian Год назад +1

    Company C 1st Battalion 2nd Marine Regiment 2nd Division would definitely be the star of a sabaton song after this shit

  • @100yohon
    @100yohon 2 года назад +2

    Can the auther off that wrire a book series

  • @Jack-kb5nb
    @Jack-kb5nb Год назад +1

    Definitely find this more likely that “Humanity not giving a fuck”

  • @ssfbob456
    @ssfbob456 6 месяцев назад

    Aliens: "they're a weak race that uses projectile weapons, we destory them."
    _exlposions_
    Aliens: "What was that?!"
    Humans: "WOOO!!! Now _that_ was a boom!"
    Aliens: "...Well at least they don't have FT-"
    Humans: "Figured it out!"
    Aliens: "Well shit."

  • @darklord8793
    @darklord8793 Год назад +2

    I fucking love my spicies

  • @WallNutBreaker524
    @WallNutBreaker524 Год назад +1

    Humanity First 💪😎👌

  • @makko1266
    @makko1266 Год назад +2

    FFS it's not a boat it's a SHIP!

  • @callisto1556
    @callisto1556 2 года назад +2

    I love one

  • @seanadams4920
    @seanadams4920 Год назад +1

    badass

  • @jerrysweet8202
    @jerrysweet8202 Год назад +6

    Wish we were actually this awesome as a species, good story.

    • @WE_DONT_LIE
      @WE_DONT_LIE Год назад

      We are you just have to cut though all the media bullshit

  • @glennnile7918
    @glennnile7918 Год назад +1

    Is there any action in any of these stories?

  • @rustbucket5189
    @rustbucket5189 2 года назад +3

    This story says im short

    • @Gizero7
      @Gizero7 2 года назад

      This is in the future so if you lived in the future you would be taller.

  • @bathroomprophet2310
    @bathroomprophet2310 2 года назад +2

    For the algorithm

  • @gamestald
    @gamestald 2 года назад +2

    Neat

  • @МихаилРадулов-й4т
    @МихаилРадулов-й4т Год назад +3

    Well sure but we all know quite a lot of civilian xenos were shot or blown away by the soldiers on the ground.
    We are doing it to humans even now so dont try to dream that we wont do it to a xeno that atacked and killed our civilians first.
    Not on a mass scale sure but i bet those 7 billion casualties were not just soldiers.

  • @jasonwarren9279
    @jasonwarren9279 8 месяцев назад

    FAAFO. Humanity has time.

  • @Cluxystardom
    @Cluxystardom 2 года назад +3

    P

  • @GLORYInintact
    @GLORYInintact Год назад +1

    Hmm, mariens arn’t that good fighters just ask the taliban or Vietnam lol

  • @Bdady74
    @Bdady74 2 года назад +1

    Algorithm appeasement comment!

  • @Noblehowl1
    @Noblehowl1 2 года назад +359

    “Ship hulls became much thinner…”
    Oh no.

    • @levantdiggerus3473
      @levantdiggerus3473 2 года назад +95

      *AGGRESSIVELY LOADS 105 MM*
      OH IVE BEEN WORKIN' ON THE RAIL ROAD-
      FIRE!
      AAAAALL THE LIVE-LONG DAYYYY-
      FIRE!

    • @jzapien1377
      @jzapien1377 2 года назад +58

      Load 105 shell with malicious and direct intent

    • @levantdiggerus3473
      @levantdiggerus3473 2 года назад +56

      @@jzapien1377 Hit every target NOT marked with a flare-
      Xeno Church is NOT marked with a flare-

    • @jzapien1377
      @jzapien1377 2 года назад +64

      @@levantdiggerus3473 **Geneva convention does not apply to Alien species**

    • @steveisthecommissar4013
      @steveisthecommissar4013 2 года назад +18

      @@levantdiggerus3473 THERE IT GOES

  • @WiredTurkey316
    @WiredTurkey316 2 года назад +2

    For the algorithm

  • @monotonexylophone1623
    @monotonexylophone1623 2 года назад +2

    Neat

  • @21700r
    @21700r 2 года назад +493

    I like stories where we, as a collective people, actually learn from past mistakes to the point it's enshrined into culture. It happens in real life too, but in fiction I can pretend it's not so likely to be co-opted into new reasons to hurt people

    • @willparry530
      @willparry530 2 года назад +8

      indeed

    • @fenixmeaney6170
      @fenixmeaney6170 2 года назад +13

      THAT'S why I was feeling a bit iffy about this one!
      It felt too much like war propaganda
      I kept having flashbacks to starship troopers

    • @redcell9636
      @redcell9636 11 месяцев назад +1

      Until some space elves start their inevitable orgies that bring about literal Hell upon the Galaxy; then humanity stops liking anything that isn't human.
      Better to understand now that "We must suffer Not the Xenos"
      Then _after_ a Galactic Cataclysm.

  • @IshijimaKairo
    @IshijimaKairo Год назад +785

    Humans in HFY: Badass, yet somehow wholesome apes
    Humans IRL:
    "It would be so funny if we nuked ourselves."
    "Yes."

    • @pilotbubba4171
      @pilotbubba4171 Год назад +98

      Both are somehow right though

    • @Chosen_Ash
      @Chosen_Ash Год назад +15

      samething ngl

    • @tikimillie
      @tikimillie Год назад +2

      Yee

    • @kingminceraft9487
      @kingminceraft9487 Год назад +21

      @@Chosen_Ash Google: translates to English.
      Results: one space added bc apparently that qualifies as a translation

    • @someoneawesome8717
      @someoneawesome8717 Год назад

      The difference is in HFY is that Humans have a unifying enemy

  • @tacticalturtlez4906
    @tacticalturtlez4906 Год назад +184

    Human warship: hit with very minor damage”
    “Gunner see that artillery?”
    “Yes captain?”
    “I don’t want to.”
    “Understood.”

    • @leechowning2712
      @leechowning2712 Год назад +26

      Temper, temper.

    • @ettibbet5493
      @ettibbet5493 Год назад +26

      @@leechowning2712 God damn it wisconsin

    • @leechowning2712
      @leechowning2712 Год назад +19

      @@ettibbet5493 "But captain, they fired first".

    • @brentkalmbacher9092
      @brentkalmbacher9092 9 месяцев назад +7

      ​@@leechowning2712they started it......

    • @Mellow7543
      @Mellow7543 7 месяцев назад

      I was about to mention this xD​@@ettibbet5493

  • @Gizero7
    @Gizero7 2 года назад +567

    I had a lot of fun writing this a few months back. When NetNarrator contacted me asking about possibilities of reading it for his chanel I was quite drunk at the time. I hope you all like it and consider a donation to the two charities. I am an active duty US Marine and the military is a core part of who I am. I figured these two charities, one for the US and one for the UK, are some of the best charities to help military members after their service and sacrifice to their countries.

    • @arbitorm1952
      @arbitorm1952 2 года назад +4

      what a neeeeeerd, get out already and keep writing

    • @skyrere
      @skyrere 2 года назад +15

      Thank you for your service sir. :)

    • @Gizero7
      @Gizero7 2 года назад +10

      @@arbitorm1952 Says you. Tell me how Hawaii is when you get there I may have to come visit.

    • @willparry530
      @willparry530 2 года назад +9

      @@arbitorm1952 dontcha know? The US military is FILLED with nerds. XD

    • @Gizero7
      @Gizero7 2 года назад +11

      @@willparry530 He is actually one of my best friends and helped me write it. Trust me when I say he is a bigger nerd than I am. We spent plenty of time watching nerd stuff and anime in his barracks room.

  • @calvingreene90
    @calvingreene90 2 года назад +141

    We have discovered that committing genocide makes us unhappy. --- Humanity

    • @SH-qs7ee
      @SH-qs7ee Год назад +26

      Or we decided genocide wasn't fun any more, knowing humanity, could be either

    • @calvingreene90
      @calvingreene90 Год назад

      @@SH-qs7ee
      We decided committing genocide wasn't fun anymore because we realized that it made us unhappy.

    • @spudthepug
      @spudthepug Месяц назад

      Both. Definitely both.

  • @bernardrednix756
    @bernardrednix756 2 года назад +173

    The human race not exactly "warriors" more like a race of creative killers

    • @iaaf_nw2367
      @iaaf_nw2367 Год назад +18

      More like “thinking warriors”

    • @rjhogan07
      @rjhogan07 Год назад +25

      Perhaps “Extremely overly rambunctious engineers”

    • @donavynceesay9437
      @donavynceesay9437 Год назад +18

      “Artistic brutalists”

    • @WE_DONT_LIE
      @WE_DONT_LIE Год назад

      More like skilled genocidal monkeys with a love flinging rocks at high speed

    • @actuallysatan7105
      @actuallysatan7105 Год назад +9

      Criminalistic Fighters

  • @dreamypizza8458
    @dreamypizza8458 Год назад +66

    "Dear Humanity, we regret being alien bastards. We regret coming to Earth. And we most definitely regret that the Corps just blew up our raggedy ass fleet. OORAH!"

  • @paxamericania5923
    @paxamericania5923 2 года назад +158

    This gives me ww2 vibes of "We blew up 7 ships and the dropped the sun on us twice"

    • @silentbobfan32
      @silentbobfan32 Год назад +14

      "we blew up 7 ships and then they dropped the sun on us twice as an experiment to see which flavor of sun was more effective, all while our unconditional surrender waited on thier desk"

    • @NicPTheMeme
      @NicPTheMeme Год назад +10

      ​@@silentbobfan32japan didnt surrender until after the 2nd nuke

    • @IAmAlpharius20
      @IAmAlpharius20 2 месяца назад +1

      ​@@silentbobfan32 if you're expecting any sympathy for WW2 Japan, you've come to the wrong place.

  • @Wolf_1775
    @Wolf_1775 Год назад +69

    "He would soon find out that his captors were called... Marines."
    As a Marine, I could only chuckle and think to myself "You done fucked up, son."
    The rest of the story tracks pretty accurately to how I remember the men too. Good times.

    • @carsoncasmirri3874
      @carsoncasmirri3874 11 месяцев назад

      I do believe “We have fought in every clime and place, where we can take a gun.” Does in fact include Space. Those motherfuckers will learn just why so many fear us.

  • @InstinctiveRelfex
    @InstinctiveRelfex 2 года назад +102

    The funnest part of these stories is how "uninhabitable" Earth seems to be by galactic standards and how "tall" humans are in comparison to other species. Granted we have the 3rd highest level of gravity in our solar system just behind Jupiter and the Sun. It really makes it sound like we're the 'Goliath' in this story but we're also 'David' somehow, the best of both figures barreling down on some poor bastard that stepped into a lions den.

    • @Lorkanthal
      @Lorkanthal Год назад +4

      I think Saturn, Uranus and Neptune might disagree with you there

    • @barstool9156
      @barstool9156 Год назад +7

      @@Lorkanthalwe have the highest terrestrial gravitational pull.

    • @floseatyard8063
      @floseatyard8063 Месяц назад

      ​@barstool9156 so then whyd he include jupiter and the sun if this is about terrestrial gravity

  • @carlfranz6805
    @carlfranz6805 2 года назад +156

    On a complete side note... I was looking at the merch. The 'Princess Twatsparkle' one brought me to tears. It reminded me of my sister who passed from Cancer several years ago. She believed that every women needs to wear a Tiara now and again and to allow themselves to be a princess, if just for a little while. RIP Julie. You were among the best of us and the strongest. I miss you.

    • @experimentoffusion6705
      @experimentoffusion6705 2 года назад +10

      May she rest well

    • @NetNarrator
      @NetNarrator  2 года назад +22

      I'm so sorry for your loss, I have no words.

    • @BeeKisses
      @BeeKisses 2 года назад +3

      GNU Julie

    • @singletona082
      @singletona082 2 года назад +6

      I am sorry for your loss she sounded pretty damned fantastic as a person, and... I think i speak for everyone when i say this.
      Fuck Cancer.

  • @Shythalia
    @Shythalia 2 года назад +63

    Xenos: (attacks Earth)
    Humans: B*TCH

    • @medigjl4
      @medigjl4 Год назад +1

      "Bitch do that again and I'll drop seven suns on you."

    • @NicPTheMeme
      @NicPTheMeme Год назад

      "HEY THE ONLY ONE WHO FUCKS WITH US IS US!!!! FUCK YOOOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    • @edwintrinidadperazacaraban4650
      @edwintrinidadperazacaraban4650 11 месяцев назад +3

      Humans: THE AUDACITY?!

  • @redraven8963
    @redraven8963 Год назад +44

    Never underestimate the homicidal murder monkeys.

  • @singletona082
    @singletona082 Год назад +25

    'They made their hulls thiner.'
    .... I'm going to need to grab popcorn.

  • @kennethhummel4409
    @kennethhummel4409 2 года назад +35

    Humanity. No better friend, no worse of an enemy.

  • @lloydkeith3061
    @lloydkeith3061 10 месяцев назад +44

    Dear xeno's, 2 combatants should be avoided. Marine officers and medical personnel, called doc's, the officers keep things as civilized as possible. The doc is like a little brother and best friend or pet to a very violent group of humans. Even hard looks in their direction can sometimes end violently. Marines love fighting enough as it is. You really don't want to go making things personnel with them

    • @spudthepug
      @spudthepug Месяц назад

      Bored Marines are dangerous Marines. We think flash bangs make for awesome pranks.

  • @admiralglenn2323
    @admiralglenn2323 2 года назад +67

    Title is America speaking to the rest of the world, especially after WW2

    • @jrk22233
      @jrk22233 2 года назад +11

      Most American wars have a boat involved even before the great war

    • @admiralglenn2323
      @admiralglenn2323 2 года назад +14

      @@jrk22233 in most situations it’s best to just leave America alone to play with their toys in their little corner of the map. Definitely don’t poke holes in their boats or knock over their block towers.

    • @alexandercry5585
      @alexandercry5585 2 года назад +7

      @@admiralglenn2323 Also with all the infighting, don't give them a reason to unite.

    • @madtechnocrat9234
      @madtechnocrat9234 2 года назад +7

      @@admiralglenn2323 unless you are vietnamise i guess...

    • @lonelypancake5979
      @lonelypancake5979 2 года назад +3

      @@jrk22233
      Sinking of the Lusitania and American supply ships: *America joins WW1*
      Attack on pacific fleet: *Joins WW2*

  • @doot8348
    @doot8348 2 года назад +35

    Humanity is just Michael reeves to xenos

    • @aerfwefd7334
      @aerfwefd7334 2 года назад +9

      Nightmare NIGHTmare NIGHTMARE

    • @theangrysocialist6884
      @theangrysocialist6884 2 года назад +8

      What would they think if they saw his videos

    • @doot8348
      @doot8348 2 года назад +10

      @@theangrysocialist6884 "Fucking humans."

    • @levantdiggerus3473
      @levantdiggerus3473 2 года назад +3

      @@theangrysocialist6884 Is he their LEADER?!?
      "You... you actively drink TOXINS to improve your energy and strengths?!"
      "You haven't seen SHIT! I'm the ELON MUSK of bad ideas!"

    • @jzapien1377
      @jzapien1377 2 года назад +4

      Armor piercing English.

  • @evilmurlock
    @evilmurlock 2 года назад +32

    This is fascinating, we truly can learn from history, in many of these stories the writers of our age, who have yet the world wars in their memory, know how both the peace of Versailles and post ww2 peace impacted the following years. Without the failure of Versailles, would be think the same about our enemies? Would be welcome them into the international comunity as a fellow nation? Or would be punish them as the Entante did in the past?

  • @bogustoast22none25
    @bogustoast22none25 2 года назад +87

    Alien: *gets caught*
    Me: I hope it’s not by the Mar-
    Narrator: He got caught by the Marines.
    Me: Geneva is gonna be mad.
    Edit:
    Marine Commander: we’re short on ammo for our weapons, I need 5 volunteers.
    Recruit Marine: What for, sir?
    Marine Commander: Alright, I need 4 more volunteers to capture enemy weapons... and use their bodies as extra protection.
    Geneva: ... bro.
    Marine Commander: UCMJ me when we get back.
    2nd edit: I am both awed and disappointed Geneva is okay for once.

    • @wade8342
      @wade8342 2 года назад +14

      Geneva is for human on human conflicts

    • @jzapien1377
      @jzapien1377 2 года назад +2

      Ain’t gonna lie this some shit chesty puller would say

    • @bogustoast22none25
      @bogustoast22none25 2 года назад +8

      @@wade8342 pretty sure it would get updated for aliens after .5 seconds of the first interstellar war.

    • @ettibbet5493
      @ettibbet5493 2 года назад

      @@jzapien1377 or Dan Daly, mother fucker gave us "come on you sons of bitches do you want to live for ever?"

    • @gmailquinn
      @gmailquinn 2 года назад +6

      1 not a war crime the first time
      2 we don't know what would violate the convention

  • @katamed5205
    @katamed5205 Год назад +8

    a more reasonable answer as to why you don't genocide another species.
    it sets a precedent. if war with you results in anihilation. then that means killing your people becomes fair game.
    by sparing the enemy. you establish that peace talks can be had. and that resorting to warcrimes is unreasonable and unwise.

  • @igkslife
    @igkslife 2 года назад +27

    Off topic.
    Imagine getting paid for space salvage.... If you think about it... Anyone can create ion engines, and ion engines can run on any gasses.
    .... So, in theory one could create a space blimp capable of using both the atmosphere, and it's own fuel, hilum to get into space.
    Obviously it'll be slow, and the home made space craft would have to be light, and small, but with a decent size Hilum balloon as it's back bone.
    Note: weather balloons use hilum as fuel, and they can rise to 60,000 feet to near 150,000 feet.
    With some basic modifications it can go higher, and possibly be able to reach low Earth orbit, or even high Earth orbits.
    Add some modified Lego robot parts ( legobots, being the programmable kind) as well as some ion engines, and control thrusters.
    You could create your own salvage drone.... Or space junk destroyer.
    Of course.... It won't be cheap, but it is doable..... Could do it as a fun raiser like team seas, and team trees.

    • @mfree80286
      @mfree80286 2 года назад +2

      You'd make it another few tens of thousands about 150,000 and stall out. Buoyancy gets you mostly there but stops when there's no longer enough surrounding gas to make you buoyant, you're neutral at that point. Anything above that is a fight between engine output and ever-increasing effective mass of the craft, and you can't carry enough fuel to keep up a 1+:1 lift/weight ratio without using orbital mechanics..... which really just means moving sideways fast enough that the arc of your fall is beyond the edge of the atmosphere.

    • @igkslife
      @igkslife 2 года назад +1

      @@mfree80286 why not use the blimp's gasses for ion fuel?
      Also, in space there is also 2 more mechanics at play.
      Less friction, and less active gravity.
      Get high enough, then both is no longer a issue, and all you need to do after wards is move from west to east.
      Earth's rotation should, in theory, have enough gravitational drag on your craft to help speed it up.
      .... So, if you spin a styrofoam ball in a tube of water left to right. It should create a vortex wave pattern in the water.
      The concept should be similar for planets, and space time.
      Space time the water, and Earth is the styrofoam ball. The concept is that as the earth is rotating, it is creating gravitational waves in the process.
      The idea would be to ride these waves to higher orbits using ion engines, and control thrusters.
      Also, in zero gravity/ zero friction environments you can only build up speed.
      So, in other words... Slow, and steady is possible, but isn't looked at as a viable option mainly because it's considered unfeasible.
      How ever, consideration, and feasibility is two different things.
      I can consider making you a sandwich, but it might not be feasible to do so.
      Seeing I'm here, and your there, and you might want a sandwich.
      Do you want me to a sandwich?

    • @mfree80286
      @mfree80286 2 года назад

      @@igkslife You're taking the very material that's keeping you in the air and spitting it out the bottom of the craft at an incredible rate... something runs out first, and it's never gravity.
      I don't want a sandwich, I want you to take a better physics class.

    • @igkslife
      @igkslife 2 года назад +2

      @@mfree80286 ..... The sandwich bit was added as a joke.... -_-

    • @igkslife
      @igkslife 2 года назад +1

      Question to myself, why do I entertain people who says, "sense it's not proven, it must be wrong."
      Or why do I entertain people who won't send me information to combat my claim?
      Better yet, why do idiots exists that clearly doesn't understand how science works?
      If it's unproven, then it must be proven to be false, or true.
      If you can't prove that a unproven technology doesn't work, or does work, then you're not a scientist.

  • @carsoncasmirri3874
    @carsoncasmirri3874 11 месяцев назад +9

    I imagine they learned the phrase “it’s not a warcrime if it’s the first time.” I also imagine they learned the hard way just what happens if you kill the sir, doc, or a machine gunner and just why Marines have the reputation we do.

    • @katherinkeegan8601
      @katherinkeegan8601 7 месяцев назад

      I was looking to see if someone had already said this. I learn so much from his videos.

  • @Chaos__incarnate
    @Chaos__incarnate Год назад +9

    Once I heard that the only used lasers I knew what was to come

    • @WE_DONT_LIE
      @WE_DONT_LIE Год назад +2

      Ratatatatatata and then brrrrrrrrrrrtttttttt

  • @HurremDurrem
    @HurremDurrem 2 года назад +9

    Mmmmmm USE Untied States of Earth

    • @calanon534
      @calanon534 8 месяцев назад +1

      USE! USE! Yeaahh URF!

  • @ryanlavallie4065
    @ryanlavallie4065 2 года назад +11

    That was powerful. I’m in a sleepy mountain town on a work trip from the prairies and seeing the moons corona through the valley clouds being flanked on both sides by the Rockies. This was epic.

  • @jaca688
    @jaca688 2 года назад +6

    Goddamn good story now I have to liberate something might have to play some hoi4 or stelaris

  • @dolphingoreeaccount7395
    @dolphingoreeaccount7395 Год назад +4

    Given what our species did to the other hominid species on our planet before we even had metal, aliens should fear us.

  • @takeandbakejake3271
    @takeandbakejake3271 2 года назад +4

    Intergalactic pearl harbor

  • @Vault87Fallout
    @Vault87Fallout Год назад +9

    Most of these storys have Humanity being very culturaly Anglo Saxon, I suppose the folly here is since the wrightings are in English the people wrighting them are likely from Anglo Nations and it is erroneously assumed our culture is in fact Humantys base nature.

    • @jayeisenhardt1337
      @jayeisenhardt1337 Год назад +1

      The dream we learned to be better or still reaching for the divine. Anglo/Western/Christian and all the philosophies that entails.

    • @jimdix7302
      @jimdix7302 Год назад

      It will be when Anglo's are done.

    • @dreamypizza8458
      @dreamypizza8458 Год назад

      @@jayeisenhardt1337 christianity is uh...quite big you know
      ever slightly giant
      positively ethiopian and quite rather russian
      not to mention the whole being better than yourself is also quite important in budhism aswell as the other abrahamic religions

  • @spaceemperorkarl121
    @spaceemperorkarl121 Год назад +4

    Man as much as I love these stories, and I REALLY do, these comment sections are GOLD!!!!!

  • @imperialinquisitor510
    @imperialinquisitor510 Год назад +2

    Aliens: HAHAHA pathetic humans
    Humans: LOL war-machine go brrrrrrrrrr!

  • @ragnorockcookie2868
    @ragnorockcookie2868 2 года назад +9

    If you want solid bulletd to go true energy shield you need to ionize them or match the Shields energy

    • @233Deadman
      @233Deadman 2 года назад +7

      How do you know? Last I checked we don't have functional energy shields, and who knows how alien tech would work.

    • @ragnorockcookie2868
      @ragnorockcookie2868 2 года назад +1

      @@233Deadman well its a hypothesis. My hypothesis is the fact that if energy acts like a liquid and if you surround a object with the exact energy it'll act like a liquid drop. I'll be able to be absorbed by the shield but then the objects will have enough kinetic energy to continue true.

    • @shayminthedoctor9663
      @shayminthedoctor9663 2 года назад +3

      He is actually onto something. While it isn't feasible with today's technology, it is possible to make magnetic fields so powerful even non-magnetic materials are effected by it. It would then, in theory, be possible to create an energy shield that would deflect kinetic weapons by simply applying such a powerful magnetic field the round loses all energy
      Though, it was noted that the aliens had optimized their shields to deal with plasma weapons, which, in order to work, would already need to have a magnetic field, making them much easier to disrupt and deflect with a shield. This would mean, while their shields were effectively impervious to their own energy weapons, and maybe even able to stop smaller rounds from human ships, the sheer amount of energy required to stop a cannon round being fired from a naval main battery would likely have been too much for the shields to displace, hence the shields being defeated
      That's my hypothesis anyways

    • @ragnorockcookie2868
      @ragnorockcookie2868 2 года назад +1

      @@shayminthedoctor9663 hey brother nice to meet you it seems like you and I have the same hypothesis and ideas want to work together?

    • @shayminthedoctor9663
      @shayminthedoctor9663 2 года назад +1

      @@ragnorockcookie2868 Sorry, I'm not really a story writer, I'm more of just a freelance writer who knows a thing or two about science fiction

  • @Biblioholic1993
    @Biblioholic1993 Год назад +1

    Ok, slightly clearing the air.
    Iron was always too inconsistent to bronze age folks. What we're really talking about is steel when we say iron age. Selective steel welded onto blade edges and such. Springs. Axles. They HAD iron. Cast iron and pig iron will always lose to bronze. Its when you get that tiny balance between iron, steel and cast iron when you get innovation going. The difference is 0.50% to 2.5% carbon by weight. From bendy and stretchy iron to brittle and impossible to work cast iron. They had to learn to burn limestone in the kiln to slag out carbon. With solid fuel smelting its TOO easy to put alloys in there. They had to wick out the carbon. And then the sulfer when they started using coal.

  • @Sujad
    @Sujad Год назад +2

    Fuck around. Find out.

  • @laughingman7882
    @laughingman7882 Год назад +2

    And humanity sniffed is own farts after bringing true peace to the universe 🎉

  • @PolymurExcel
    @PolymurExcel 10 месяцев назад +1

    The U.S. Navy alone was established to fight pirates in the Mediterranean. Second founding though, since the Continental Navy was disbanded after the American Revolution due to funding before Thomas Jefferson brought it back during his presidency.

  • @alvin4100
    @alvin4100 Год назад +1

    Kinda Cringe. It's like playing Stellaris in Easy mode.

  • @wyvernharries4788
    @wyvernharries4788 2 года назад +3

    Shoot, this was a good one.

  • @kylestewart4087
    @kylestewart4087 Год назад +1

    It's only been going on for 30 units....lol. classic humans

  • @skylerbirkline8930
    @skylerbirkline8930 Год назад +1

    That is a 11 to 1 ratio of dead

  • @Nevermore-eq9lx
    @Nevermore-eq9lx 2 года назад +4

    Imagine if they met Navy Seals lmao

    • @carsoncasmirri3874
      @carsoncasmirri3874 11 месяцев назад +2

      I was in the Marine Corps and met a few different types of spec ops guys in my time. Navy Seals scared the living shit out of me. They are the most ruthless and efficient killers of men on the planet and it fucking shows. I remember thinking “holy shit thank God these guys are on our side.”

    • @ElainCorrine
      @ElainCorrine 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@carsoncasmirri3874 (plot twist) Until they aren't..... (Boss Music begins to play)

  • @SpiritWolf1966
    @SpiritWolf1966 4 месяца назад +1

    I enjoy all of NetNarrator videos

  • @thalastianjorus
    @thalastianjorus Год назад +1

    Whoever wrote this believes the Hollywood idea that Marines cuss a lot. They don't. Even in combat. Just a note for future writers. Marines put a LOT of effort into remaining professional.

    • @redcell9636
      @redcell9636 11 месяцев назад +1

      Until they don't have to. Then they are some of the most unprofessional people out there, and that's a good thing.
      It's like how the Army Engineers are complete functional drunks, because if we weren't were going to put a blasting cap on a pressure trigger to blow the legs out from your bunk and find every nut and unscrew it so that your billeting falls down around you for fun. We prank each other with hardware and power tools for fun.

    • @thalastianjorus
      @thalastianjorus 11 месяцев назад

      @@redcell9636 agreed on all accounts with that one.

  • @mikeemmons1079
    @mikeemmons1079 Год назад +1

    I carried on in spite of the fact that you chose to read in a "Rupert" voice.

  • @darthslackus499
    @darthslackus499 Год назад +1

    Ah, a better version of humanity.
    Because this sure as hell isn't us.

  • @ETOILEPHANTOME
    @ETOILEPHANTOME Год назад +1

    I wish we were that good irl

  • @UmarWazir
    @UmarWazir Год назад +1

    Gary Stu, the species.

  • @kaidearc8159
    @kaidearc8159 Год назад +1

    Remember this all started on "Boats"

  • @naverthis7552
    @naverthis7552 7 месяцев назад +1

    Ru'hak-lie trying to flee via FTL
    "You cant fast travel with enemies nearby"

  • @victortahlor4038
    @victortahlor4038 Год назад +1

    Thank You for the reading

  • @charleshagen1144
    @charleshagen1144 2 года назад +15

    This story is just humanity stroking it's own ego.

    • @MantisLizard511
      @MantisLizard511 Год назад +8

      That's the point

    • @themarlboromandalorian
      @themarlboromandalorian Год назад +4

      You do understand what "HFY" actually stands for, don't you son?

    • @hansdampf640
      @hansdampf640 10 месяцев назад

      @@themarlboromandalorian you now what "stroking its own ego" means son? 😆

  • @alexanderrosario8569
    @alexanderrosario8569 3 месяца назад

    Japan back then really thought they were a competeing world power. But they were just spreading themselves thin and when the chihuahua finally bit the tiger their bark couldn't match America's bite

  • @davidsmith7456
    @davidsmith7456 Год назад +1

    👍

  • @benjamingray2071
    @benjamingray2071 6 месяцев назад

    this is why in the future you need to have kinetic AND energy resistance as protection cause we love throwing spicy rocks out of tubes so if you have no kinetic resistance tough shit mate no matter how unlikely a threat is still a threat