Characters : 3 Age: 27-35 Mood: negative Action: Capturing a crime scene and helping the victim Aashish(30), was going for a job interview he was looking forward to for so long, he was already late and was in a hurry he tried to overtake a truck and started speeding up in the wrong side of road. He saw a Tanga which was being driven by a man about 35 year old. Unable to control his sped he bumped into the tanga and the driver of tanga fell off of it. Aashish was safe and didn't hurt much as he was wearing seatbelts but feeling guilty as it was completely his fault he got out of car and started helping the driver but he noticed that driver started bleeding and was unconscious. A journalist, Rahul(26) noticed this accident and adviced Rahul to not touch anything he called the ambulance and police and clicked some pictures of the accident location.While waiting for the police he also treated the victim's wound by tying a cloth on his head to stop the bleeding. The tanga driver was safely taken to hospital and treated there Aashish paid all his hospital bills and was also fined for speeding and overtaking on a narrow road. Rahul was appreciated for his quick wit and handling the situation.
Grammar needs to be improved, story is good, but Ashish has not been explained well. Add one more character like doctor or hospital staff. Story would be captivating
Hello ladies and gentlemen! I perceive 3 characters in my story . Male -30 years, neutral mood Male - 35 years ,-ve mood Male-25 years, neutral mood Action- Helping the injured person to reach hospital . Rajesh, a 30 year old man, while going to office by his car. A horse cart suddenly comes in between and hits the car and as a result Rajesh lost control over the car and there was a serious accident . The horse cart driver fell down and he got severely injured . Rajesh gave him the first aid and while he was giving first aid a passerby comes near them and starts making the video to whom Rajesh said that instead of making the video he should help the person in reaching hospital by making call to ambulance . Finally ambulance came and the man reached to hospital and he was admitted to the hospital . After a couple of hours he was discharged from the hospital and now he is in better condition .
@@DefenceDreamsbyayushi Intro can be improved e;g;- Rajesh daily leaves office by his happily. One day---- You didn't mention of doctors treating the driver, mention that, it gives weight to the story, Rajesh helped him recover from the injury, conclude like this. The story you wrote is very good, but needs some improvement.
Characters : 3
Age: 27-35
Mood: negative
Action: Capturing a crime scene and helping the victim
Aashish(30), was going for a job interview he was looking forward to for so long, he was already late and was in a hurry he tried to overtake a truck and started speeding up in the wrong side of road. He saw a Tanga which was being driven by a man about 35 year old. Unable to control his sped he bumped into the tanga and the driver of tanga fell off of it. Aashish was safe and didn't hurt much as he was wearing seatbelts but feeling guilty as it was completely his fault he got out of car and started helping the driver but he noticed that driver started bleeding and was unconscious. A journalist, Rahul(26) noticed this accident and adviced Rahul to not touch anything he called the ambulance and police and clicked some pictures of the accident location.While waiting for the police he also treated the victim's wound by tying a cloth on his head to stop the bleeding. The tanga driver was safely taken to hospital and treated there Aashish paid all his hospital bills and was also fined for speeding and overtaking on a narrow road. Rahul was appreciated for his quick wit and handling the situation.
Grammar needs to be improved, story is good, but Ashish has not been explained well. Add one more character like doctor or hospital staff. Story would be captivating
😮
Mam me bhi tayri kar rha hu but Mera 5 number se rah gya😢😢
Fir bhi me dwara prayas karunga
Hello ladies and gentlemen!
I perceive 3 characters in my story .
Male -30 years, neutral mood
Male - 35 years ,-ve mood
Male-25 years, neutral mood
Action- Helping the injured person to reach hospital .
Rajesh, a 30 year old man, while going to office by his car. A horse cart suddenly comes in between and hits the car and as a result Rajesh lost control over the car and there was a serious accident . The horse cart driver fell down and he got severely injured . Rajesh gave him the first aid and while he was giving first aid a passerby comes near them and starts making the video to whom Rajesh said that instead of making the video he should help the person in reaching hospital by making call to ambulance . Finally ambulance came and the man reached to hospital and he was admitted to the hospital . After a couple of hours he was discharged from the hospital and now he is in better condition .
Please review
@@DefenceDreamsbyayushi Intro can be improved e;g;- Rajesh daily leaves office by his happily. One day----
You didn't mention of doctors treating the driver, mention that, it gives weight to the story, Rajesh helped him recover from the injury, conclude like this.
The story you wrote is very good, but needs some improvement.
Good one
Maa Mera nahi huwa 😭😭😭