A friend told me what works for her son is sour candy. The sour probably distracts enough from the issue at hand, is my guess. Unfortunately, my son doesn’t like sour anything, so I guess everyone has to figure out what works for them. For myself, I can imagine it doing a good job distracting, but when I get angry, it’s usually frustration based, and then i don’t want to suck or chew on a candy, I want to let out the frustration. Problem is; I end up saying things I can’t take back. At least I don’t usually break or hurt anything or anyone. If I’m playing a challenging game, for example, I’ll finger the crap out of my iPad with every muscle in my body clenched. Lol I’m sure I look stupid, but hey, it helps. 🤷🏽♀️
People have told me I overreact a lot, but I don't feel like I'm overreacting. The problem is, I don't know when the appropriate time is to stop, and a simple misunderstanding will set me off. I've gotten into fights with friends because of this. :(
@@LizM894 So agree I hate to hurt people with my words and do everything not to lash out physically including pinching my own arms. If I do I feel so bad after. I seem to go from zero to 100+ in nano seconds. Great relief though at my age of 62 to realise that I am on the Autistic Spectrum. Waiting for formal diagnosis. When I was young there was no understanding of ASD in women unless it was severe. I am glad that it will get easier for the young women coming along behind me. Your not alone.......... Take care Hx
I'M 47 years oid, and this being angry of asperger is the worst symptom, because it can hurt other people... and I must admit that I (very) often get angry for very stupid or irrational reasons... And it's so difficult to control. Thanks for sharing, it really helps to see that I'm not alone...
Especially if something positive has happened in your life, every time you get angry, think of that, and whatever you’re angry for won’t matter that much, and then you care less.
As an aspie I struggle with anger management. There are quite a lot of things that send me over the edge, like tapping fingers, bad table manners, getting stuck behind slow drivers who have no friggin' clue how to drive, people who know my parents or other friends and start getting too "familiar" toward me and the list goes on. So I can totally relate to this vid.
I think much of the anger comes from inability to correlate boundaries with the norm. I for one am committed to sincerity and opposed to eye contact. those things alone are enough to doom you to a life of isolation.
Late to the party, but let's not forget those family members that "forgive" you.... by spreading rumors, pretty much shunning you, and conveniently bringing up that time you did something wrong when you were a decade younger, so they'll feel validated.
My brother has aspergers and we suffer from him, he physically abuses my mother and is impossible to have a conversation with him without him having a meltdown. It's really upsetting for us and for him. I think it differs from case to case, but to say that it is neurotypical people that are the cause for antagonism around aspergers syndrome is wholly unhelpful
True, it does differ from case to case, a lot has to do with the individuals personality/upbringing/circumstance. It´s important to remember that we are all human and therefore react and behave in many different ways, but hopefully with more understanding and acceptance, one day Neurotypicals and Autistics might co-exist better. I would say neurotypicals need to adjust their viewpoints if we want this to happen.
I am autistic but I was previously diagnosed bipolar because I have severe inappropriate outbursts of anger when I get upset. I really hate how irrational I become when I get angry. I become like a total sociopath whose only ambition is completely & utterly destroy the target of my rage in every way possible. I’ve stalked, harassed, menaced, doxxed, outed, exposed, threatened, and cyberbullied dozens of middle-aged men whom I‘ve never actually met in person, for things ranging from them promising to contact me and them blocking me afterward to them making appts to meet with me at a hotel and them flaking out without telling me. I find that I can’t stand being: 1) ignored 2) blown off 3) led on 4) rejected 5) turned down People who do these things to me cause me to go from being a meek mild-mannered math teacher to a sociopathic cyberstalker straight out of a Lifetime thriller.
Your herbs has work wonders in my family. Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best. #droyalo
People with Asperger's have problems with their Amygdala, even though the higher rational parts of the brain are often better than average. The Amygdala sends out panic, fear and rage signals for no reason at times and at other times these signals are triggered for minor things. Normally what I do, if I'm going to go into a situation that is likely to be stressful, I attempt to take a pre-emptive strike and think, these things are likely to happen and whatever happens the first action is to think, this is not a problem, it happens all of the time and everyone else gets through it, it won't result in anything bad, reacting negatively to it is the real problem. I'm not sure exactly how this might work in your case in particular situations, because filling your mind with these thoughts in an attempt to block bad thoughts might trigger the thoughts you are attempting to avoid. Of course, don't fixate on things that can't reasonably be fixed. I believe that the bad problems caused by the Amygdala aren't necessarily ended by a "calm down" environment as much as the panic, fear and rage signals/chemicals run their course and the system undergoes an automatic reset. There is a limit as to those chemicals after which the system goes numb. You may feel the meltdown is going down because you left to go to a calming environment, but I suspect what has actually happened is that you have changed environments, but the system is burning out anyway. For me, even when I'm removed from the irritating environment, I'm still thinking about it. This creates another possibility. For example, if you don't like being touched, maybe before going into a situation in which you are going to be touched and bumped in crowds, you should spend the night before in a mosh pit and burn the feeling out of you. Often my best work comes after an anxiety attack meltdown and the problematic chemical systems have spent themselves. At other times when going into a stressful situation, I see myself as an actor. I'm going in to play a part of a normal person and it's not me. By concentrating as an actor and carrying on an act, I'm able to submerge the real me. What is the actor going to do for his audience? The audience is made up of normal people and they want a certain show. I jokingly told another guy who suffers with the same things that maybe we should have a T-shirt that shows one of those cartoon bombs with a fuse and a hand holding a lit match moving toward the fuse with one of those international no signs over it and the words, "Don't Do Something Stupid and Make Me Explode".
Thank you for your videos, Dan. I live in the U.S. and am working on getting a diagnosis. I started learning about autism disorders only a few years ago and what I learned made my life make so much more sense. When I'm distressed I can't stand people touching me, the feel of my clothes, noises -- I have to isolate myself as much as possible. (When I was younger I used to slam my body into walls, things like that. I've trained myself not to, and gotten some help with anxiety, but the physical feelings are still there.) I'm not glad this troubles you, too, but I was so relieved to hear you talk openly about your experiences, because it makes me feel less alone and less like a freak. Thanks again for your channel.
I’m fifteen years old (the hormonal age) so my anger is getting so much worse. I’ve started to hit and verbally abuse my family, house and literally anything that I am surrounded with I just want to hurt. This is upsetting both me and my family and pushing me further away from them, especially between me and my mother.
thanks for sharing. sometimes when I feel irritable or restless and frustrated for whatever reason, freezies, ice cubes, Popsicles, or a cold drink will help me feel better. even laying down in the snow can help me. this is why I prefer winter much more than summer. I really dislike the heat. especially when it makes me all sweaty. it's uncomfortable.
I just wanted to thank you for your videos. I have two little aspies and watching you in the videos really helps them see that there are others in the world who get it and understand.
I'm beginning to understand myself after 31 years of fits, spats, panic attacks and drinking heavily to cope in social situations. I'm sober now 5 months and seeing a therapist. Lot's has come to light. My previous behaviors are making sense. My over sensitivity to light and sounds making sense. I am an Aspie. Thanks for this upload it has been a great help :)
I used to get very angry when I was younger, but never did any physical damage to me, or others. I'm 36 now, I tried to control my anger. Thanks for sahring!
Yes, you are so blessed. It has got worse as I age. But that is because of my circumstances. Are you challenged a lot? Are you faced with illogical behaviour or ones cause your emotions to go in overdrive? If all this happens, but you can control it, then what is your secret?
When I was doing my MBA, I was delivering pizza. The commotion of the store would often trigger meltdowns. I learned to go into the walk-in cooler and sort the food. It was cool, quiet, and safe. I was considered a great employee because I was always doing something productive. Nobody knew I was running from my meltdowns, not even me.
When I was younger I use to get very angry. Broke mirrors. Put holes in doors. Got physical. I still get angry, but I'm a little better now about it now sometimes.
I am glad that I am not the only one that have felt this way. I am not an angry, mad person but every once in a while, I will get anger outbursts but I try to not just let it keep building, by getting my mind preoccupied by something else or getting by myself, letting myself kinda unwind, relax & cool down. but what you said sounds a lot like me & thank u for putting this up, to educate ppl & help us other Aspies not feel alone.
My temper is getting worse, and my meltdowns are more often. Feels like I can't control of anymore. I'm damaging things in the house and getting hurt myself.
The Aspie World Thank you for the advice and reply, I'm going to work these tips into my life. I help my family with a guesthouse too, so the number of people around me at times sort of leads me to losing the plot. I had better self control at a time, but its getting harder for sure as I mature more. Keep up the brilliant content man, your channel is few and far in between and very helpful...
My son is 12 and has Aspergers as well. I was brought to tears listening to you because this is identical to my kid. I feel so much pain for him when he goes through this. I’ve learned that when he needs time alone, he really does. As a mom, I fear his future relationships are in jeopardy and it kills me. We go to therapy and work on strategies all the time. He feels so misunderstood about why he has outbursts.
Dude! Thank you for posting these videos! My son was diagnosed with AS last year (age 8). In dealing with his diagnosis and how to best help him, I've started to wonder if I might has AS as well. I've not met any adults with AS. So, your videos have been huge eye opener for me. Once again, thank you so much!
I struggle with my frustration and anger. The worst I'd when I have a evening like tonight when I get annoyed and stressed and I don't know why. I tend to end up hard surfaces with my wrist. It's been very sore and bruised a lot of times...... It is sore and bruised now cos I just bashed it out of frustration. It's hard to know how else to deal with it. I know understand why I get annoyed with the feeling of my clothes rubbing on me when I'm annoyed. I've always had this happen to me..... now I know it's part of my aspergers. Great video.....Thanks for sharing it.
I have been watching your videos. I came across this throwback from 2014, it looks like you were really just beginning to understand yourself and the "autism factor" (it is what I call it). I always knew I was "different", but I didn't know my "different" had a whole community of like minded "differents" until I recently, at the age of 38. It is reassuring, comforting to know that there are others out there who feel like an alien who was transplanted here on earth to observe the human race.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
I lose my rag easily, usually with objects rather than people. One thing that sets me off is losing stuff. Typically, I will patiently go through a systematic search for something and if I feel that I have searched everywhere it could be and find nothing, I fly into a rage so intense that I often break things and shout four letter words repeatedly. I have trashed quite a lot of stuff as a result.
I haven't lost my wallet in decades (it did once in NYC in a cab and I recovered it later from a good soul), but god if that happened to me now, I'd probably turn into the Hulk! hehe. I hate losing stuff. I also cannot stand when I'm building something like furniture, whatever, fixing things, and it goes wrong or I'm stumped, it drives me crazy and gets me in a rage.
Thank you so much for your video's. I learn so much from you! I am just realizing a friend has this, but does not realize it. He is 53 yrs old and I'm not sure how he will take the information, or if it's even my place to tell him? But I now understand him a lot more and that in and of itself is a LOT!
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Awesome damask wallpaper in your room! My mom is an aspie & becomes very angry at unexpected events or trying to find closure to arguments when she feels the need to explain her opinions & tell people she's an aspie. She hurts herself. Also when pushed into a corner...I have that too. I'm looking into being diagnosed too. Years of misdiagnosed disorders & over 18 meds which never "helped" now benzo withdrawals which I conclude are more intense for aspies due to sensory damage to the CNS...I have many aspie symptoms but got angry when I was abused & backed into a corner being yelled at for hours by an ex. I'd try to make everything ok but cut myself from the stress & abuse plus prescribed high dose of a benzodiazepine. Many psych doctors misdiagnose patients with anxiety, depression or other psychotic or anti social disorders when the patient is in fact on the autism spectrum.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Hi, Aspie World! You are the only RUclipsr as of right now that I can find to relate myself to. I am an Aspie, too, just undiagnosed, since I am a female. We girls mask our traits more than boys with autism do. Anyway, I am glad you not only spread awareness around, but you also find out why and ways to help with dealing with certain things. But, here’s my question: What should I do, as an Aspie myself, when I assume that the people around me are internally judging me for wearing my headphones down the hallways? It’s been a problem for a while, so I’m hoping you can help me, since we relate. Also, keep up the good work of spreading awareness for autism. You rule!
Your herbs has work wonders in my family. Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best. #droyalo
I have a lot of frustration and anger but when I’m at work we all work together and I have no way of getting out of the situation which makes me even more agitated
I tend to get angry when my emotions get too strong over something. I back away from my boyfriend when I'm angry over something he said or someone else has said to me, I don't let him touch me or comfort me, I just want to be left alone in this shell I created for myself. I then feel upset because I'm lashing out at him and it makes my anger so much worse and all I want is to be left alone at that point and I basically give up. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm mad about and my reasoning for why I'm mad and that also doesn't help. Sadly, I even lash out at my parents because they have a hard time understanding that I put myself in my shell for a reason; to be left alone and to calm down, but then I get yelled at and it's a big argument that didn't need to start. What's bad is that lately, it's getting worse and I don't know what to do....
I always get super aggressive when I‘m at the supermarket check out and someone doesn‘t stack their items in a logical way. It really bothers me that I get so angry about it and I always wiggle my hands and feet when it happens and try to calm down
I have experienced the same thing growing up. Felt like the entire world was against me. But recently i've rarely ever felt, traped, unsafe. Its good to hear Im not the only one experiences what I experience.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Wow you just explained my son, he doesn't want anyone to touch him, he has to be ALONE, if his girl friend follows him and tries to touch him he has hit her, it's so hard for him to control, I know he has aspergers, he couldn't stand riding the school bus when he was a kid, couldn't stand the noise, he hates crowds too much going on, and the sad part is he gets it from me 😢 Thank you for sharing, I need to find out if my son is autistic
Thank you so much for sharing, I have to do an audition and the character I am portraying has Aspergers. Without this I wouldn't feel as prepared as I do. So thank you :)
What about extreme anger at people cus they yet again repeat the same info each time you have to see/put up with them for years, or even just twice if their repition in the same conversation? Is that also Asperher's-related, or?
I know the anger feeling. Though as I am introvert, I usually do not get angry in the traditional sence. What happens is, that I turn it inwards. Meaning that I stop thinking, like my mind goes blank, and it drains all my strenghts.
The Aspie World True that.... Eighter it is your self that becomes "the victim" when introvert. Or some item becomes the victim as you describe. Hope my english is good enough, as it is my second language and not my mothers tounge.
I used to lash out a lot in school when I was younger. I used to get nerd rage and get into fist fights. I still have anger issues. I'm getting better about it but I've broken things and I yell a lot. I know this video is hella old but thanks for showing me something that could possibly help. Even in my mid thirties it helps a ton.
I haven't had a problem usually with becoming physically agressive other than when I snap. However, I do have trouble getting over something in that moment. I usually cannot get the situation that upset me out of my head and I keep repeating it and reflecting on it in my head. I have a few techniques now to try and prevent this which helps a bit but not entirely.
@@f-lorui For sure. When resentful thoughts of scenarios repeat in my head, I say "God bless him/her for causing me to suffer." Repeating that simple phrase helps me quite a bit. It makes sure that I am addressing the suffering as real, even if only perceived. And by dealing with it in that way, it distracts me from having to argue with the scenario over and over. Sometimes I have to repeat the phrase for five minutes at a time, but it beats repeating the scenario for hours. I do sometimes have to switch between phrases to keep myself from falling into scrupulosity, but the essence of the phrase remains the same. I use the same technique even if it is myself that I resent at times. An act of the will means more than how I feel in a given moment, which is something that I have to constantly remind myself of. I hope that helps in some way.
@@f-lorui The purpose is twofold. One purpose is for my own psyche. It is unhealthy to hold resentment towards others. By wishing someone well who I have perceived to cause me suffering releases my heart by doing the opposite of wishing bad things for him. The second purpose, although related to the first, is religious. I am a devout Catholic, and so I am supposed to do good to those who harm me. Praying for God to bless someone is a way of attempting to accomplish that. When I ask God to "bless", I see it as an all encompassing word for God to do what is necessary in that person's life to bring him peace in this life and the next. And, perhaps somewhat selfishly, I hope that by praying for someone who has done me wrong that I will likewise be shown mercy for the many things that I have done wrong. This comes from the concept in the Lord's prayer from the gospel, that we must show mercy to others in order to obtain it for ourselves. I hope that clarified what I meant.
Hi. It sounds like when you get angry, you get an overall brain stimulation reaction. I don't know if a lot of neuron patterns get over-excited or what. But, what you describe sounds awful. It sounds like you have symptoms on your skin, in your body temperature, etc. There is a reaction in the world of hearing disorders called recruitment. It's when a person hears nothing at all and then suddenly at certain intensities, the hearing blasts them. That's what your anger reaction reminds me of. I wish you and your psychiatrist all the best as the two of you figure this out. One more thing, here in the US we have a saying when people get really angry, we say, "cool down." Maybe, this saying has wisdom to it! I like the idea you propose of physically getting cooler. Please continue your good work, you are helping many people.
I and my 5 year old are both like this, bit he's so much more violent. Today he slapped his teacher with so much rage and kicked the play table so hard that a large piece shattered right off! I drove all the way home crying...
I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of 9 n now am almost 28 n I still have angry outbursts to this day, in fact I've been havin outbursts n melt downs recently for differeant reasons like how frustrating it is for me that I have frequent miss-communications with pple and also I'd love to have a girlfriend but feel I can't get one cos I'm not good lookin enough nor good enough for one which's frustrating
Whenever I think about, talk about, see about, or hear about anything autism/syndrome related, my energy kicks in and have the strong need to vibrate my upper body and laugh maniacally. Watching this video was tough to not wake up the fam. (Edit. Also if the excitement gets too bad and can't expel it, I start to gag and dry heave)
Hi, I am currently an undiagnosed aspie and I so relate to what you are describing and also, how difficult it is to describe it. I call it a huge ball of red that envelopes me and the only thing that will calm me down, is being left on my own. I cannot cope being touched or talked to and will not look anyone in the eyes. As long as I can be on my own, I calm down pretty fast.
I'm convinced that I have Aspergers after taking online test and all the scores being quite high, I have most of the "symptoms" and a lot of the things that you talk about (especially anger) all happen to me. Even though all this is happening, my parents don't believe that I have any form of ASD, but that I'm just struggling with puberty and hormones changes that all teenagers go through. But to me this feels different. Do you have any advice?
Yes. This video...yes. Nail on the head, dude. I also agree with another user. They said that they get annoyed by friends of the parents and when they get too personal with their questions. I'm like this with almost everyone. Most of the time it's because I don't know how to answer and I don't want to waste time trying to explain.
Saerek I just say.. "Do you have an hour?" thankfully most ppl aren't willing to sit down for an hour & be your counselor.. Not the ones you want to anyway..Also an hour isn't enough lol.. For me it's rarely ONE THING it's an accumulation of things over time and not knowing how to deal with them also with a life of being misunderstood it seems rather pointless expecting someone to understand unless they're like this themselves/highly insightful & empathic or are educated in this..
Thank you for that perspective. It breaks my heart to not know what to do when my bf gets angry about something and blames me out of nowhere. It’s scary and I try to calm him and it always makes it worse. I guess I’ll just get away from him as soon as possible instead of responding at all.
Your herbs has work wonders in my family. Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best. #droyalo
Anger is a big one for me, even sitting there with false memories going through my head I'll come round n my eyes will be bulging, I'll be shaking and quite hot n sweaty. The Mrs has compared me to Jekyll n Hyde at times like that. It seriously stops you enjoying life when your a pessimist with anger issues. Change to routine at the last minute or even worse, interference! That will make me go from calm to shouting blue murder at the top of my voice in an instant.
My anger is different. Instead of being instantly angry, I get aroused (NOT SEXUALLY) into a sort of dislike of people around me and my environment, and it slowly charges up into wanting to kill. I begin to meditate to prepare for hardcore physical exertion for the purpose of combat. My muscles are locked and loaded. I begin to look at things with a death stare. Not like the emo death stare, but more of an ominous "back off for your own good" stare. Oftentimes in this state I become aware that using pain to my advantage can send me into a sort of juggernaut mode that lets me perform at a level I shouldn't as a lean ish 20 y/o. The only way I stop being angry is with time to cool off. Thank god I work at a factory and don't have someone with me when I'm doing the parts. I'm scary when I get like that. Even then though, I absolutely hate directing negative emotions onto others so much that I get motivated to resolve any issues I have with someone rather than blow up on them.
I'm a teen going through some stuff. I'm currently trying to see a psychologist to see if I have aspergers or asd. my mom always suspected when I was a kid and as I grew up it became more obvious. now at 15 it's scary to see how much I relate to you.
For me, anger is kind of like my claustrophobia (my fear of being trapped in small spaces.) "Trapped" is an excellent word to describe how I feel during an outburst. I feel like I'm stuck somewhere and I'm desperately trying to fight myself out by physically lashing out. I often end up throwing the first thing in sight and things end up breaking sometimes. My Dad always grabs me and physically restrains me, which makes blindly lash out at him in return. And then he threatens to take away my privileges, which just adds more fuel to the fire. This feeling really scares me a lot... These outbursts are happening way more often now and I feel it's getting out of hand. The main triggers for me are when people get on my nerves, big changes in my daily home routine or when I'm generally just overwhelmed. Does anyone here in the comments know how I can improve my situation? Some advice would be greatly appreciated.
Ive never broke bones but I've cut open my knuckles so now I have a few scars. Im actually differ at the clothes part. I like to feel closed and warn so i pull on a blanket or a hoodie.
I don't remember what I've done in the past but the most recent time i got really irrationally upset about something going to my room and laying in bed with all the lights and everything off in the silence was the best i could do to kinda collect myself and be able to come back to the situation and be useful
I hear you brother. I joined an additional gym in addition to my calm, relaxing gym just for variety. I'm a health nut and lift a lot and the new place is night and day different. Older folks and retirees use my old gym and the new one is like tatted bro's, crowded, lots of testosterone and I nearly flew off the handle like 6 times at the new place today. What was I thinking? I like to be big and strong and thought it'd be fun to be around other big boys, but I do better with little old men and ladies--it's way more soothing. Now I know.
I hate myself tbh. I get really angry too easy, I am not like everyone else, I can hold down jobs. I also have so much physical disabilities. I just don’t want to be this way anymore. After I’m done being angry, I always say to myself “I want to go home” even though I am already home.
I'm wondering if the age of the mother of aspie's has anything to do with this condition. My husband's mother was in her late 30.s and I had read that there can be some problems with certain defects.
Ive never been diagnosed, and i have two kids on the spectrum. I have so much in common with them and relate to this instant anger issue and noise and sensory overload. However, I believe what i deal with is actually nonresolved ptsd. Im wondering how much overlay there is. It's like our anxiety/stress responses just go on full-speed (no matter how insignificant the issue) to where we're just forced ride out the crappy wave of excess emotion. As a result of my own (whats been dx'd as ptsd for me) anxiety I can easily slip into obsessive thinking and perseverating on certain things. Gosh, I really don't know now. Perhaps Ive adapted over the years to push past some of the other issues. They never go away, but we just learn to put them aside a bit better. But in lots of ways Im very different from my kiddos. Or perhaps this is a female thing... Its quite confusing to me as i try to find my own way through life. Ah well. I learn from my kids, and they learn from me, and we all learn from people like you who are brave enough to share yourself with us. Thank you for all your videos.
+✿Nor.Cal.Gal✿ Thank you for the comment. I would say that as we grow we learn to adapts and make work arounds for the condition. I would suggest seeking medical advise from your GP or mental health board, :).
Of course I don’t know you personally but, I think if you start replaying your life’s memories in your mind, you might find it quite surprising how very much you’ve adapted throughout the years… Females with Aspergers Syndrome Checklist by Samantha Craft everydayaspie.wordpress.com/2016/05/02/females-with-aspergers-syndrome-checklist-by-samantha-craft/
I like your videos for you are almost describing word for word how I saw my brother. His anger was very unjust and instead of hurting his own hand, he’d aim for my face. Brother had as much anger as the mountain from game of thrones when he crushes the princess head in with his bare hands..
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
I just cant stand when someone interupts me when im watching youtube or when im playing on my ps4 and i just get realy how do you say that self protective idn but realy angry and whynt to be alone so yea tahts my story
Your herbs has work wonders in my family. Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best. #droyalo
I get angry like this quite a lot as well, but luckily people around me make an effort to keep the anger levels down. However unlike you I can't calm down unless everything is silent and extremely dark, which is how I can be mad for hours on end. The dark especially helps me but in reality it is difficult to instantly turn all the lights out of a busy room or building that people are in, so if you have any other advice, please let me know.
My anger is pretty much sporned from being in an environment of high achievers, family, outer family, and the general people in the city I reside. From the end of primary school through to the present (I'm almost 50 now), I have been surrounded by neurotypicals with overly assertive, matter a fact, and inflexible personas. Though I've done a number of courses and engaged in social groups to keep my sense of being alert, and for keeping a perspective on how other people think and breathe, I've never been able to land any paid work in my entire life, aside from a few low paid training temp jobs in the mid nineties. For almost 20 years, I even tried setting up a radio station, which I had to close from not being able to obtain a license. I certainly cannot vouch for how other people experience aspergers, but for me, it's a case of being begrudged for everything you try; some neurotypicals have even outright resented (even have gone as far as letting me know), for trying to do the same kind of things that they do. Well here in Australia anyway, the segregation between neuro and aspie is still stubbornly wide. I don't know if it's to do with my visual impairement or the asperger's, but I have a much higher and stronger intensity of feel. It can be best described if the average person has about 50 touch neurons per square inch over the hands, body, I have like a few thousand per square inch. This is effective in all sorts and interesting ways, and thankfully has given me a way to deal with the anxiety I experience from being socially shut out, having no career, and a very low income. For example if my hands come into contact with dust, dirt, oil, and any unpleasant texture, my brain starts going nuts. Out in the real world, these things are common, and I can handle them (to what one could say) to a healthy degree. I won't go into a OCD panic and wash my hands 100 times a day. Conversly however the interesting otherside of this is my mind goes into a huge sense of well being when touching the plastic used for inflatable beach balls. I have one of those balls now on my sofa. As soon as my hands / skin come in contact with the soft, squeeky, shiny polypropylene plastic, I'm in another world, and my mind is at complete peace. Though many think of beach balls all being made of the same plastic, they're definitely not as different manufacturers and online retailers obtain their stock from various sources. Many are made using a thicker plastic, which almost feels like a canvas, while others use matte materials, and though other types use translucent plastics, these can still feel thick, hard, and inflexible. The pure black 36 inch balls I source use a much smoother, shinier, and softer PVC, this is relative to feel, not inflation pressure) Again, this is not a silver bullet to my overall anger; however it temporates the sharp spikes and valleys that I often experience, and at least gives me a way out when I feel completely helpless. The well being I experience from one of these black balls is very intense and beautiful, so much so that it's just undescribable.
I used to fly off the handle more in my youth but less so now in my 50s. Of course at the time I had no understanding of Asperger's. So much bothered me or set me on edge. Today I live fairly isolated in the country and have the ability to center my thoughts with little interruption. I knew even before I found I was on the spectrum that a safe zone environment was essential to my psychological survival.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Yeah as for my case, i can be a happy person and all the sudden i can get really ticked off by minor things, or if there has been changes in layout, per say an item that have had it's place and no longer can be located, or sudden anger in videogames, i know that's more common for people to get frustrated but i can start getting really angry really quick so i had to quit playing.
+The Aspie World I came off the store just now and, well people in line bumping into you and the guy behind me put a hand on my shoulder, started telling me hurry up hurry up and started laughing after, i whas so nervous, angry, i just exploded inside, when i came home i smashed my hand right into the table, still hurts...
My 11 year old son gets so angry. The anger doesn't usually fit the situation. It could be that his seat belt has locked and won't pull properly, or his brother is teasing with him in a playful way. He melts down. Screams, cries and where his brother is concerned he goes after him and hits him. Last night we played baseball and he didn't catch the ball. He got so upset and I try to be supportive and diffuse any situation by letting him know that he is not alone. I understand he's angry etc. And he gets very "dark" during these times. Very negative on himself. When he calms down its as if a switch flips and he comes back to us. Clouds are gone and he's himself again. I dont know how to help him with the frustration meltdowns. If he doesnt complete something perfectly the first attempt an angry, crying meltdown is imminent.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Hi there , I listen to you because of the anger and you don't have to have Asperger to be angry . The whole world is angry and I was VERY angry for so many years , thank God I'm not any more even though I know it's some of it is still there , but worked hard to get rid of it , not push it down but get rid of it . I have question which has not been answered . What kind of behavior is it that makes people with your condition stand out ?? Not how people receive you or you them , just the worst to expect from someone with it ?? I enjoyed your talk and could relate allot to what you said , I hope things are going well for you know some years later ..
That's absolutely true: try being bullied for four years in jr. high to high school and see how your anger level is! You don't need any other conditions to be angry. Although, I would also say that being angry for no good reasons whatsoever, is something entirely different. Like, I sometimes get annoyed or even angry when I'm in a supermarket and I have a ton of stuff laid out on the conveyor, which is unusual for me, and I suddenly see more people backed up on my line in the checkout, and they are getting aggressive, or even if not, it starts pushing my buttons, anger, anxiety, sweating, nervousness, etc., because I feel like they're rushing me, or hurrying me. But I've also run into a lot of of bullying, angry, rude obnoxious people in situations like that, so there's that also. (In which case anybody could have a run-in with someone like that, anyway, even if they are NT). But, people with Asperger's tend to react much more readily or strongly in situations like that. Someone could be in the market and get angry or have a meltdown that the overhead lights are too bright, etc., or the supermarket music is too loud or annoying.
I never got angry when I was younger, but after 40 I have become more and more angry. But I got upset. And when I felt hurt/overwhelmed and got a meltdown this behaviour was often interpreted as anger by people around me.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
I have struggle for years. Meditation is the key. Jon Kabat Zinn is my favorite. Also, I find that other people who have social adjustment issues really pile on Aspies because of their sincerity and independence. That is the real battle for me-all the people who need a scapegoat for a witch hunt. when i want to take responsibility for my actions it is distressing to wade through so much manipulation.
I suspect my husband has aspbergers. Being with him is exhausting and I try not to take his anger and meltdowns personally. I researched this and 1% of the population has it and 90% are men. Most neurotypical wives have to resort to antidepressants or alcoholism to deal with these men on a daily basis. Do us a favor and don't date or get married, you'll be happier and less frustrated in the long run
You know all of those things you mentioned a very common for meals later on in life with not inspection condition and they do fall into that category of using substances or alcohol unfortunately that’s just sometimes how it goes but there is help if you are able to get a diagnosis and then seek specific help and support where you can this can be overcome. I can totally understand how exhausting this may be for you so I hope that you find some support soon. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I usually get upset or angry, but when I get upset now I calm myself down by playing with my game console; which is one of my obsessions and I usually don't like wearing socks round the house because it makes me feel uncomfortable and I prefer to wear loose clothes like shorts. I guess this is to do with my sensory problems.
Hi, how would u handle the aggression growing up before you were aware you had aspergers and perhaps your teachers and school staff not understanding that you weren't just being defiant?
Thank you so much for this video. I have been with my husband for 21 years (3 years married) and im just finding out that he may be on the spectrum. He is 45. Hes a very successful, and very intelligent man. Im so very proud of him. But ive felt unloved for years, maybe 4 - 5 years. But things within the last 2 years are just getting worse. Is this possible? For things to get worse? *No intimacy for 2 years *No emotion *No affection physically or verbally *He snaps at me *I feel i cant be myself and that im walking on eggshells *Has a temper *Speaks aggressively *Obsessive (at the moment it's his vegan diet) it will soon be something else then back to the diet again *He will only wear super soft clothing and takes tags out of his t-shirts *Some of his comments are immature, maybe what you would expect from maybe a 7 or 8 year old *Hes only interesting in talking about himself his own day *I have health issues, he never asks how i am (thankfully i have amazing parents) *He goes into a rage/tantrum if asked to do something or not do something *Doesnt give people eye contact, it takes him a long time to feel comfortable around someone *Prefers to be alone *No friends *Hates anything social *He only likes to do things he's familiar with (example. going on the same vacations) *Doesnt like change *Lives to a routine/schedule *Very matter of fact *Doesnt like any conversations, especially about our r.ship or feelings *Speaks to me like dirt for no reason *Doesnt spend time with me...work comes first These are some of the things i live with day to day. Am i right in thinking he could be on the spectrum? For years ive cried and felt unloved. A few weeks ago, the left side of my face went numb...i had to call emergency services....he went and got in bed with a book....he didnt even come and ask if i was ok? And doesnt see that hes coming across as not caring? I think the main issue though...is the anger. I asked him the other day to cover his mouth when he coughs and he just blew! I never know when hes going to kick off at me. We are in the UK. I really hope to find some answers 🙏
So sorry to hear of your plight. I just discovered this site, and this anger thread, in hopes of learning more about a daughter of my ex-girlfriend who had intermittant rage issues. One thing I can say to you is that the lack of physical intimacy of your husband is probably his way of removing pressures which he can't handle (or a secret porn addiction). But being aware of that doesn't mean that you should acquiesce to it. You can't love someone who you can't trust, and, more importantly, you need someone who you can trust to understand you. I'm afraid such mutual understanding trust is impossible for you two.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Yes, my son and I both have this issue. I as the mom, and an aspie, have to be able to help him when he is in the midst of a meltdown. Sometimes, tho, I do have to walk away rather than exploding myself. We now just send him to chill out in his room, and if I have my own issues, I will just go in my room and turn all the lights off and calm down, which is hard because what I'd rather do is kick some hiney, but that's not the answer. I must say that my son has gotten much better now that he is 9. At 4, he'd beat the tar out of me, which was a year before he was diagnosed autistic. He also has been known to totally wreck his room in a meltdown. I've never known a 4 year old who could hurl a twin mattress across a room.
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A friend told me what works for her son is sour candy. The sour probably distracts enough from the issue at hand, is my guess. Unfortunately, my son doesn’t like sour anything, so I guess everyone has to figure out what works for them. For myself, I can imagine it doing a good job distracting, but when I get angry, it’s usually frustration based, and then i don’t want to suck or chew on a candy, I want to let out the frustration. Problem is; I end up saying things I can’t take back. At least I don’t usually break or hurt anything or anyone. If I’m playing a challenging game, for example, I’ll finger the crap out of my iPad with every muscle in my body clenched. Lol I’m sure I look stupid, but hey, it helps. 🤷🏽♀️
I get so mad so fast and then 1 min later I'm like why am I mad and my girlfriend really hates it but I really can't help it any tips for help
People have told me I overreact a lot, but I don't feel like I'm overreacting. The problem is, I don't know when the appropriate time is to stop, and a simple misunderstanding will set me off. I've gotten into fights with friends because of this. :(
+Miss Mia Yeah! Don't worry, it will get better with time.
Me too. Now he is starting drama and acting like I am stupid. I cant even help it.
Same here.
It's nice not being the only person who feels this I've had really bad issues with anger but after I'm angry I start to get really upset with my self
Oscar 5236 yes. I also feel ashamed and think to myself I shouldn't have got to that place as I cannot seem to get out of it
@@LizM894 So agree I hate to hurt people with my words and do everything not to lash out physically including pinching my own arms. If I do I feel so bad after. I seem to go from zero to 100+ in nano seconds. Great relief though at my age of 62 to realise that I am on the Autistic Spectrum. Waiting for formal diagnosis. When I was young there was no understanding of ASD in women unless it was severe. I am glad that it will get easier for the young women coming along behind me. Your not alone.......... Take care Hx
I'M 47 years oid, and this being angry of asperger is the worst symptom, because it can hurt other people... and I must admit that I (very) often get angry for very stupid or irrational reasons... And it's so difficult to control.
Thanks for sharing, it really helps to see that I'm not alone...
Just stop caring, that’ll help
Especially if something positive has happened in your life, every time you get angry, think of that, and whatever you’re angry for won’t matter that much, and then you care less.
As an aspie I struggle with anger management. There are quite a lot of things that send me over the edge, like tapping fingers, bad table manners, getting stuck behind slow drivers who have no friggin' clue how to drive, people who know my parents or other friends and start getting too "familiar" toward me and the list goes on. So I can totally relate to this vid.
I think much of the anger comes from inability to correlate boundaries with the norm. I for one am committed to sincerity and opposed to eye contact. those things alone are enough to doom you to a life of isolation.
Late to the party, but let's not forget those family members that "forgive" you.... by spreading rumors, pretty much shunning you, and conveniently bringing up that time you did something wrong when you were a decade younger, so they'll feel validated.
We don't suffer from Aspergers, we suffer from other people- Tony Atwood
So true.
Amber Hale hey civics Ｐｌｅａｓｅ 😑💭🎨🌏🌛🌔🎼👑
My brother has aspergers and we suffer from him, he physically abuses my mother and is impossible to have a conversation with him without him having a meltdown. It's really upsetting for us and for him. I think it differs from case to case, but to say that it is neurotypical people that are the cause for antagonism around aspergers syndrome is wholly unhelpful
True, it does differ from case to case, a lot has to do with the individuals personality/upbringing/circumstance. It´s important to remember that we are all human and therefore react and behave in many different ways, but hopefully with more understanding and acceptance, one day Neurotypicals and Autistics might co-exist better. I would say neurotypicals need to adjust their viewpoints if we want this to happen.
As a whole yeah of course.
I am autistic but I was previously diagnosed bipolar because I have severe inappropriate outbursts of anger when I get upset.
I really hate how irrational I become when I get angry.
I become like a total sociopath whose only ambition is completely & utterly destroy the target of my rage in every way possible.
I’ve stalked, harassed, menaced, doxxed, outed, exposed, threatened, and cyberbullied dozens of middle-aged men whom I‘ve never actually met in person, for things ranging from them promising to contact me and them blocking me afterward to them making appts to meet with me at a hotel and them flaking out without telling me.
I find that I can’t stand being:
1) ignored
2) blown off
3) led on
4) rejected
5) turned down
People who do these things to me cause me to go from being a meek mild-mannered math teacher to a sociopathic cyberstalker straight out of a Lifetime thriller.
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best. #droyalo
Sounds like BPD.
People with Asperger's have problems with their Amygdala, even though the higher rational parts of the brain are often better than average. The Amygdala sends out panic, fear and rage signals for no reason at times and at other times these signals are triggered for minor things.
Normally what I do, if I'm going to go into a situation that is likely to be stressful, I attempt to take a pre-emptive strike and think, these things are likely to happen and whatever happens the first action is to think, this is not a problem, it happens all of the time and everyone else gets through it, it won't result in anything bad, reacting negatively to it is the real problem.
I'm not sure exactly how this might work in your case in particular situations, because filling your mind with these thoughts in an attempt to block bad thoughts might trigger the thoughts you are attempting to avoid.
Of course, don't fixate on things that can't reasonably be fixed.
I believe that the bad problems caused by the Amygdala aren't necessarily ended by a "calm down" environment as much as the panic, fear and rage signals/chemicals run their course and the system undergoes an automatic reset. There is a limit as to those chemicals after which the system goes numb. You may feel the meltdown is going down because you left to go to a calming environment, but I suspect what has actually happened is that you have changed environments, but the system is burning out anyway. For me, even when I'm removed from the irritating environment, I'm still thinking about it.
This creates another possibility. For example, if you don't like being touched, maybe before going into a situation in which you are going to be touched and bumped in crowds, you should spend the night before in a mosh pit and burn the feeling out of you.
Often my best work comes after an anxiety attack meltdown and the problematic chemical systems have spent themselves.
At other times when going into a stressful situation, I see myself as an actor. I'm going in to play a part of a normal person and it's not me. By concentrating as an actor and carrying on an act, I'm able to submerge the real me. What is the actor going to do for his audience? The audience is made up of normal people and they want a certain show.
I jokingly told another guy who suffers with the same things that maybe we should have a T-shirt that shows one of those cartoon bombs with a fuse and a hand holding a lit match moving toward the fuse with one of those international no signs over it and the words, "Don't Do Something Stupid and Make Me Explode".
Lewis Doherty happy aspie thanks 😑💭😊
Thank you for your videos, Dan. I live in the U.S. and am working on getting a diagnosis. I started learning about autism disorders only a few years ago and what I learned made my life make so much more sense.
When I'm distressed I can't stand people touching me, the feel of my clothes, noises -- I have to isolate myself as much as possible. (When I was younger I used to slam my body into walls, things like that. I've trained myself not to, and gotten some help with anxiety, but the physical feelings are still there.) I'm not glad this troubles you, too, but I was so relieved to hear you talk openly about your experiences, because it makes me feel less alone and less like a freak. Thanks again for your channel.
I am happy that my videos help you, :).
I’m fifteen years old (the hormonal age) so my anger is getting so much worse. I’ve started to hit and verbally abuse my family, house and literally anything that I am surrounded with I just want to hurt. This is upsetting both me and my family and pushing me further away from them, especially between me and my mother.
thanks for sharing. sometimes when I feel irritable or restless and frustrated for whatever reason, freezies, ice cubes, Popsicles, or a cold drink will help me feel better. even laying down in the snow can help me. this is why I prefer winter much more than summer. I really dislike the heat. especially when it makes me all sweaty. it's uncomfortable.
I just wanted to thank you for your videos. I have two little aspies and watching you in the videos really helps them see that there are others in the world who get it and understand.
I just started telling myself to calm down more. It’s not good to be angry all the time. It’s hard but I’m working on it.
I'm beginning to understand myself after 31 years of fits, spats, panic attacks and drinking heavily to cope in social situations. I'm sober now 5 months and seeing a therapist.
Lot's has come to light. My previous behaviors are making sense. My over sensitivity to light and sounds making sense. I am an Aspie.
Thanks for this upload it has been a great help :)
I used to get very angry when I was younger, but never did any physical damage to me, or others. I'm 36 now, I tried to control my anger. Thanks for sahring!
+alphaphotoandvideo You are lucky
Yes, you are so blessed.
It has got worse as I age. But that is because of my circumstances.
Are you challenged a lot?
Are you faced with illogical behaviour or ones cause your emotions to go in overdrive?
If all this happens, but you can control it, then what is your secret?
Nice one, Dan. Your videos are brilliant; thank you for helping people like me understand Aspergers a bit more.
This helped,I feel the exact same,good to hear from someone with the same issues
ever flipped out because something like the pen isn't on the table where you left it? and start streaming at and attacking things around you..?
Yes! And especially if I can't find it fast!
I broke a computer mouse the other day, due to anger and frustration.
Yes and I flip out if I cannot find the remote
Yes. I flip out if I can't find my keys, wallet, phone, or chapstick. It almost always gets to the point to where I punch walls.
What stuff do you attack ? I’d love to see that
Yep and when the computer freezes when I'm in the middle of something important, I get a meltdown.
When I was doing my MBA, I was delivering pizza. The commotion of the store would often trigger meltdowns. I learned to go into the walk-in cooler and sort the food. It was cool, quiet, and safe. I was considered a great employee because I was always doing something productive.
Nobody knew I was running from my meltdowns, not even me.
When I was younger I use to get very angry. Broke mirrors. Put holes in doors. Got physical. I still get angry, but I'm a little better now about it now sometimes.
I am glad that I am not the only one that have felt this way.
I am not an angry, mad person but every once in a while, I will get anger outbursts but I try to not just let it keep building, by getting my mind preoccupied by something else or getting by myself, letting myself kinda unwind, relax & cool down.
but what you said sounds a lot like me & thank u for putting this up, to educate ppl & help us other Aspies not feel alone.
My temper is getting worse, and my meltdowns are more often. Feels like I can't control of anymore. I'm damaging things in the house and getting hurt myself.
+Henry Austin Yes, I was like this a few years back. I feel anger gets worse with age. I have found anger management techniques helpful.
The Aspie World Thank you for the advice and reply, I'm going to work these tips into my life. I help my family with a guesthouse too, so the number of people around me at times sort of leads me to losing the plot. I had better self control at a time, but its getting harder for sure as I mature more. Keep up the brilliant content man, your channel is few and far in between and very helpful...
My son is 12 and has Aspergers as well. I was brought to tears listening to you because this is identical to my kid. I feel so much pain for him when he goes through this. I’ve learned that when he needs time alone, he really does. As a mom, I fear his future relationships are in jeopardy and it kills me. We go to therapy and work on strategies all the time. He feels so misunderstood about why he has outbursts.
Dude! Thank you for posting these videos! My son was diagnosed with AS last year (age 8). In dealing with his diagnosis and how to best help him, I've started to wonder if I might has AS as well. I've not met any adults with AS. So, your videos have been huge eye opener for me. Once again, thank you so much!
I struggle with my frustration and anger. The worst I'd when I have a evening like tonight when I get annoyed and stressed and I don't know why. I tend to end up hard surfaces with my wrist. It's been very sore and bruised a lot of times...... It is sore and bruised now cos I just bashed it out of frustration. It's hard to know how else to deal with it.
I know understand why I get annoyed with the feeling of my clothes rubbing on me when I'm annoyed. I've always had this happen to me..... now I know it's part of my aspergers. Great video.....Thanks for sharing it.
I have been watching your videos. I came across this throwback from 2014, it looks like you were really just beginning to understand yourself and the "autism factor" (it is what I call it). I always knew I was "different", but I didn't know my "different" had a whole community of like minded "differents" until I recently, at the age of 38. It is reassuring, comforting to know that there are others out there who feel like an alien who was transplanted here on earth to observe the human race.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
This video was very helpful :)
+GreyAlien〈3 You are more than welcome!
Thank you for your insight. Also I love that wallpaper.
Thank you :).
When I’m in school and I got get a problem I immediately resort to frustration.
I’m exactly the same mate. Well explained! ❤️👌🏽
So informative!
I lose my rag easily, usually with objects rather than people. One thing that sets me off is losing stuff. Typically, I will patiently go through a systematic search for something and if I feel that I have searched everywhere it could be and find nothing, I fly into a rage so intense that I often break things and shout four letter words repeatedly. I have trashed quite a lot of stuff as a result.
I haven't lost my wallet in decades (it did once in NYC in a cab and I recovered it later from a good soul), but god if that happened to me now, I'd probably turn into the Hulk! hehe. I hate losing stuff. I also cannot stand when I'm building something like furniture, whatever, fixing things, and it goes wrong or I'm stumped, it drives me crazy and gets me in a rage.
Hey thanks for posting
Thank you so much for your video's. I learn so much from you! I am just realizing a friend has this, but does not realize it. He is 53 yrs old and I'm not sure how he will take the information, or if it's even my place to tell him? But I now understand him a lot more and that in and of itself is a LOT!
I thought i was alone in this. Thanks for sharing. It is debilitating anger.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Here as a grown daughter with a mother with aspies and I am trying to understand the anger that comes out as abusive in a mother-child relationship.
Awesome damask wallpaper in your room! My mom is an aspie & becomes very angry at unexpected events or trying to find closure to arguments when she feels the need to explain her opinions & tell people she's an aspie. She hurts herself. Also when pushed into a corner...I have that too. I'm looking into being diagnosed too.
Years of misdiagnosed disorders & over 18 meds which never "helped" now benzo withdrawals which I conclude are more intense for aspies due to sensory damage to the CNS...I have many aspie symptoms but got angry when I was abused & backed into a corner being yelled at for hours by an ex. I'd try to make everything ok but cut myself from the stress & abuse plus prescribed high dose of a benzodiazepine.
Many psych doctors misdiagnose patients with anxiety, depression or other psychotic or anti social disorders when the patient is in fact on the autism spectrum.
Thank you.
Oh my gosh you're such a baby!!! You've changed so much since this video. All good, all good.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Hi, Aspie World! You are the only RUclipsr as of right now that I can find to relate myself to. I am an Aspie, too, just undiagnosed, since I am a female. We girls mask our traits more than boys with autism do. Anyway, I am glad you not only spread awareness around, but you also find out why and ways to help with dealing with certain things. But, here’s my question: What should I do, as an Aspie myself, when I assume that the people around me are internally judging me for wearing my headphones down the hallways? It’s been a problem for a while, so I’m hoping you can help me, since we relate. Also, keep up the good work of spreading awareness for autism. You rule!
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best. #droyalo
I have a lot of frustration and anger but when I’m at work we all work together and I have no way of getting out of the situation which makes me even more agitated
Yes it can get bad. I would suggest stress balls. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I tend to get angry when my emotions get too strong over something. I back away from my boyfriend when I'm angry over something he said or someone else has said to me, I don't let him touch me or comfort me, I just want to be left alone in this shell I created for myself. I then feel upset because I'm lashing out at him and it makes my anger so much worse and all I want is to be left alone at that point and I basically give up. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm mad about and my reasoning for why I'm mad and that also doesn't help. Sadly, I even lash out at my parents because they have a hard time understanding that I put myself in my shell for a reason; to be left alone and to calm down, but then I get yelled at and it's a big argument that didn't need to start. What's bad is that lately, it's getting worse and I don't know what to do....
I always get super aggressive when I‘m at the supermarket check out and someone doesn‘t stack their items in a logical way. It really bothers me that I get so angry about it and I always wiggle my hands and feet when it happens and try to calm down
Yes, shops are overly stimulating and can cause this issue.
I have experienced the same thing growing up. Felt like the entire world was against me. But recently i've rarely ever felt, traped, unsafe.
Its good to hear Im not the only one experiences what I experience.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Wow you just explained my son, he doesn't want anyone to touch him, he has to be ALONE, if his girl friend follows him and tries to touch him he has hit her, it's so hard for him to control, I know he has aspergers, he couldn't stand riding the school bus when he was a kid, couldn't stand the noise, he hates crowds too much going on, and the sad part is he gets it from me 😢 Thank you for sharing, I need to find out if my son is autistic
Thank you so much for sharing, I have to do an audition and the character I am portraying has Aspergers. Without this I wouldn't feel as prepared as I do. So thank you :)
+Brittany Thornton Hey I am glad it helped you!
What about extreme anger at people cus they yet again repeat the same info each time you have to see/put up with them for years, or even just twice if their repition in the same conversation? Is that also Asperher's-related, or?
Thanks mate
Can Totally Relate to this Brother
I know the anger feeling. Though as I am introvert, I usually do not get angry in the traditional sence. What happens is, that I turn it inwards. Meaning that I stop thinking, like my mind goes blank, and it drains all my strenghts.
Anger is so difficult to overcome.
The Aspie World True that.... Eighter it is your self that becomes "the victim" when introvert. Or some item becomes the victim as you describe. Hope my english is good enough, as it is my second language and not my mothers tounge.
I used to lash out a lot in school when I was younger. I used to get nerd rage and get into fist fights. I still have anger issues. I'm getting better about it but I've broken things and I yell a lot.
I know this video is hella old but thanks for showing me something that could possibly help. Even in my mid thirties it helps a ton.
Yeah!!!
I feel the same way man thanks
Thanks for sharing this vidéo
You are welcome!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
thanks for the info
I haven't had a problem usually with becoming physically agressive other than when I snap. However, I do have trouble getting over something in that moment. I usually cannot get the situation that upset me out of my head and I keep repeating it and reflecting on it in my head. I have a few techniques now to try and prevent this which helps a bit but not entirely.
Yeah it can be difficult.
if you see this, do you mind sharing what techniques help you?
@@f-lorui For sure. When resentful thoughts of scenarios repeat in my head, I say "God bless him/her for causing me to suffer." Repeating that simple phrase helps me quite a bit. It makes sure that I am addressing the suffering as real, even if only perceived. And by dealing with it in that way, it distracts me from having to argue with the scenario over and over. Sometimes I have to repeat the phrase for five minutes at a time, but it beats repeating the scenario for hours. I do sometimes have to switch between phrases to keep myself from falling into scrupulosity, but the essence of the phrase remains the same. I use the same technique even if it is myself that I resent at times. An act of the will means more than how I feel in a given moment, which is something that I have to constantly remind myself of. I hope that helps in some way.
@@keithmayhewhammond5357 thanks for responding
what's the goal with that phrase, why are you blessing someone for making you suffer?
@@f-lorui The purpose is twofold. One purpose is for my own psyche. It is unhealthy to hold resentment towards others. By wishing someone well who I have perceived to cause me suffering releases my heart by doing the opposite of wishing bad things for him.
The second purpose, although related to the first, is religious. I am a devout Catholic, and so I am supposed to do good to those who harm me. Praying for God to bless someone is a way of attempting to accomplish that. When I ask God to "bless", I see it as an all encompassing word for God to do what is necessary in that person's life to bring him peace in this life and the next. And, perhaps somewhat selfishly, I hope that by praying for someone who has done me wrong that I will likewise be shown mercy for the many things that I have done wrong. This comes from the concept in the Lord's prayer from the gospel, that we must show mercy to others in order to obtain it for ourselves.
I hope that clarified what I meant.
Hi. It sounds like when you get angry, you get an overall brain stimulation reaction. I don't know if a lot of neuron patterns get over-excited or what. But, what you describe sounds awful. It sounds like you have symptoms on your skin, in your body temperature, etc. There is a reaction in the world of hearing disorders called recruitment. It's when a person hears nothing at all and then suddenly at certain intensities, the hearing blasts them. That's what your anger reaction reminds me of. I wish you and your psychiatrist all the best as the two of you figure this out. One more thing, here in the US we have a saying when people get really angry, we say, "cool down." Maybe, this saying has wisdom to it! I like the idea you propose of physically getting cooler. Please continue your good work, you are helping many people.
I and my 5 year old are both like this, bit he's so much more violent. Today he slapped his teacher with so much rage and kicked the play table so hard that a large piece shattered right off! I drove all the way home crying...
I really appreciate this video. I need a lot of help and i have anger issues and autism . I was put in jail twice for domestic related things.
Hey thank you!!!
Good video Dan I have had the same experience as u
I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of 9 n now am almost 28 n I still have angry outbursts to this day, in fact I've been havin outbursts n melt downs recently for differeant reasons like how frustrating it is for me that I have frequent miss-communications with pple and also I'd love to have a girlfriend but feel I can't get one cos I'm not good lookin enough nor good enough for one which's frustrating
Whenever I think about, talk about, see about, or hear about anything autism/syndrome related, my energy kicks in and have the strong need to vibrate my upper body and laugh maniacally. Watching this video was tough to not wake up the fam.
(Edit. Also if the excitement gets too bad and can't expel it, I start to gag and dry heave)
Hi, I am currently an undiagnosed aspie and I so relate to what you are describing and also, how difficult it is to describe it.
I call it a huge ball of red that envelopes me and the only thing that will calm me down, is being left on my own.
I cannot cope being touched or talked to and will not look anyone in the eyes.
As long as I can be on my own, I calm down pretty fast.
✌🏼
I'm convinced that I have Aspergers after taking online test and all the scores being quite high, I have most of the "symptoms" and a lot of the things that you talk about (especially anger) all happen to me. Even though all this is happening, my parents don't believe that I have any form of ASD, but that I'm just struggling with puberty and hormones changes that all teenagers go through. But to me this feels different. Do you have any advice?
Yes. This video...yes. Nail on the head, dude. I also agree with another user. They said that they get annoyed by friends of the parents and when they get too personal with their questions. I'm like this with almost everyone. Most of the time it's because I don't know how to answer and I don't want to waste time trying to explain.
Saerek I just say.. "Do you have an hour?" thankfully most ppl aren't willing to sit down for an hour & be your counselor.. Not the ones you want to anyway..Also an hour isn't enough lol.. For me it's rarely ONE THING it's an accumulation of things over time and not knowing how to deal with them also with a life of being misunderstood it seems rather pointless expecting someone to understand unless they're like this themselves/highly insightful & empathic or are educated in this..
Thank you for that perspective. It breaks my heart to not know what to do when my bf gets angry about something and blames me out of nowhere. It’s scary and I try to calm him and it always makes it worse. I guess I’ll just get away from him as soon as possible instead of responding at all.
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best. #droyalo
Anger is a big one for me, even sitting there with false memories going through my head I'll come round n my eyes will be bulging, I'll be shaking and quite hot n sweaty. The Mrs has compared me to Jekyll n Hyde at times like that. It seriously stops you enjoying life when your a pessimist with anger issues. Change to routine at the last minute or even worse, interference! That will make me go from calm to shouting blue murder at the top of my voice in an instant.
I wish I’d seen this before. It’s answered, why I react.
Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
My anger is different. Instead of being instantly angry, I get aroused (NOT SEXUALLY) into a sort of dislike of people around me and my environment, and it slowly charges up into wanting to kill. I begin to meditate to prepare for hardcore physical exertion for the purpose of combat. My muscles are locked and loaded. I begin to look at things with a death stare. Not like the emo death stare, but more of an ominous "back off for your own good" stare. Oftentimes in this state I become aware that using pain to my advantage can send me into a sort of juggernaut mode that lets me perform at a level I shouldn't as a lean ish 20 y/o.
The only way I stop being angry is with time to cool off. Thank god I work at a factory and don't have someone with me when I'm doing the parts. I'm scary when I get like that.
Even then though, I absolutely hate directing negative emotions onto others so much that I get motivated to resolve any issues I have with someone rather than blow up on them.
I'm a teen going through some stuff. I'm currently trying to see a psychologist to see if I have aspergers or asd. my mom always suspected when I was a kid and as I grew up it became more obvious. now at 15 it's scary to see how much I relate to you.
For me, anger is kind of like my claustrophobia (my fear of being trapped in small spaces.) "Trapped" is an excellent word to describe how I feel during an outburst. I feel like I'm stuck somewhere and I'm desperately trying to fight myself out by physically lashing out. I often end up throwing the first thing in sight and things end up breaking sometimes. My Dad always grabs me and physically restrains me, which makes blindly lash out at him in return. And then he threatens to take away my privileges, which just adds more fuel to the fire. This feeling really scares me a lot...
These outbursts are happening way more often now and I feel it's getting out of hand. The main triggers for me are when people get on my nerves, big changes in my daily home routine or when I'm generally just overwhelmed.
Does anyone here in the comments know how I can improve my situation? Some advice would be greatly appreciated.
Ive never broke bones but I've cut open my knuckles so now I have a few scars. Im actually differ at the clothes part. I like to feel closed and warn so i pull on a blanket or a hoodie.
I don't remember what I've done in the past but the most recent time i got really irrationally upset about something going to my room and laying in bed with all the lights and everything off in the silence was the best i could do to kinda collect myself and be able to come back to the situation and be useful
✌🏼
I hear you brother. I joined an additional gym in addition to my calm, relaxing gym just for variety. I'm a health nut and lift a lot and the new place is night and day different. Older folks and retirees use my old gym and the new one is like tatted bro's, crowded, lots of testosterone and I nearly flew off the handle like 6 times at the new place today. What was I thinking? I like to be big and strong and thought it'd be fun to be around other big boys, but I do better with little old men and ladies--it's way more soothing. Now I know.
Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I hate myself tbh. I get really angry too easy, I am not like everyone else, I can hold down jobs. I also have so much physical disabilities. I just don’t want to be this way anymore. After I’m done being angry, I always say to myself “I want to go home” even though I am already home.
I'm wondering if the age of the mother of aspie's has anything to do with this condition. My husband's mother was in her late 30.s and I had read that there can be some problems with certain defects.
Multiple times I have shouted at someone because they stood to close to me or shouted too loud. It's hard to cope with and drives people away
Wish I’ve found this video sooner!
Yay glad you have it now!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Did so! I’m in bloody tears!! At last I don’t feel alone!!! Love from Abu Dhabi, UAE.
The Aspie World eh lol I’m a bit slow today I hope u see my latest reply.
Ive never been diagnosed, and i have two kids on the spectrum. I have so much in common with them and relate to this instant anger issue and noise and sensory overload. However, I believe what i deal with is actually nonresolved ptsd. Im wondering how much overlay there is. It's like our anxiety/stress responses just go on full-speed (no matter how insignificant the issue) to where we're just forced ride out the crappy wave of excess emotion. As a result of my own (whats been dx'd as ptsd for me) anxiety I can easily slip into obsessive thinking and perseverating on certain things. Gosh, I really don't know now. Perhaps Ive adapted over the years to push past some of the other issues. They never go away, but we just learn to put them aside a bit better. But in lots of ways Im very different from my kiddos. Or perhaps this is a female thing... Its quite confusing to me as i try to find my own way through life. Ah well. I learn from my kids, and they learn from me, and we all learn from people like you who are brave enough to share yourself with us. Thank you for all your videos.
+✿Nor.Cal.Gal✿ Thank you for the comment. I would say that as we grow we learn to adapts and make work arounds for the condition. I would suggest seeking medical advise from your GP or mental health board, :).
Of course I don’t know you personally but, I think if you start replaying your life’s memories in your mind, you might find it quite surprising how very much you’ve adapted throughout the years…
Females with Aspergers Syndrome Checklist by Samantha Craft
everydayaspie.wordpress.com/2016/05/02/females-with-aspergers-syndrome-checklist-by-samantha-craft/
I like your videos for you are almost describing word for word how I saw my brother. His anger was very unjust and instead of hurting his own hand, he’d aim for my face. Brother had as much anger as the mountain from game of thrones when he crushes the princess head in with his bare hands..
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Great video. My son has Aspergers and he has destroyed his walls from punching them when he is angry. What can we do to help him learn to control it?
+Catherine Wood Therapy, healthy gluten free diet and focus on the things he likes will reduce this.
I just cant stand when someone interupts me when im watching youtube or when im playing on my ps4 and i just get realy how do you say that self protective idn but realy angry and whynt to be alone so yea tahts my story
Today had an angry day ranting and raving today. So amount of rage today. I am not going to talk as to why as I will rant again
I get angry, because people treat me differently....... if I was (part of the team) is all I truly want in life .
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best. #droyalo
I get angry like this quite a lot as well, but luckily people around me make an effort to keep the anger levels down. However unlike you I can't calm down unless everything is silent and extremely dark, which is how I can be mad for hours on end. The dark especially helps me but in reality it is difficult to instantly turn all the lights out of a busy room or building that people are in, so if you have any other advice, please let me know.
My anger is pretty much sporned from being in an environment of high achievers, family, outer family, and the general people in the city I reside. From the end of primary school through to the present (I'm almost 50 now), I have been surrounded by neurotypicals with overly assertive, matter a fact, and inflexible personas.
Though I've done a number of courses and engaged in social groups to keep my sense of being alert, and for keeping a perspective on how other people think and breathe, I've never been able to land any paid work in my entire life, aside from a few low paid training temp jobs in the mid nineties. For almost 20 years, I even tried setting up a radio station, which I had to close from not being able to obtain a license. I certainly cannot vouch for how other people experience aspergers, but for me, it's a case of being begrudged for everything you try; some neurotypicals have even outright resented (even have gone as far as letting me know), for trying to do the same kind of things that they do. Well here in Australia anyway, the segregation between neuro and aspie is still stubbornly wide.
I don't know if it's to do with my visual impairement or the asperger's, but I have a much higher and stronger intensity of feel. It can be best described if the average person has about 50 touch neurons per square inch over the hands, body, I have like a few thousand per square inch. This is effective in all sorts and interesting ways, and thankfully has given me a way to deal with the anxiety I experience from being socially shut out, having no career, and a very low income. For example if my hands come into contact with dust, dirt, oil, and any unpleasant texture, my brain starts going nuts. Out in the real world, these things are common, and I can handle them (to what one could say) to a healthy degree. I won't go into a OCD panic and wash my hands 100 times a day. Conversly however the interesting otherside of this is my mind goes into a huge sense of well being when touching the plastic used for inflatable beach balls. I have one of those balls now on my sofa. As soon as my hands / skin come in contact with the soft, squeeky, shiny polypropylene plastic, I'm in another world, and my mind is at complete peace.
Though many think of beach balls all being made of the same plastic, they're definitely not as different manufacturers and online retailers obtain their stock from various sources. Many are made using a thicker plastic, which almost feels like a canvas, while others use matte materials, and though other types use translucent plastics, these can still feel thick, hard, and inflexible. The pure black 36 inch balls I source use a much smoother, shinier, and softer PVC, this is relative to feel, not inflation pressure)
Again, this is not a silver bullet to my overall anger; however it temporates the sharp spikes and valleys that I often experience, and at least gives me a way out when I feel completely helpless. The well being I experience from one of these black balls is very intense and beautiful, so much so that it's just undescribable.
Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I used to fly off the handle more in my youth but less so now in my 50s. Of course at the time I had no understanding of Asperger's. So much bothered me or set me on edge. Today I live fairly isolated in the country and have the ability to center my thoughts with little interruption. I knew even before I found I was on the spectrum that a safe zone environment was essential to my psychological survival.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Yeah as for my case, i can be a happy person and all the sudden i can get really ticked off by minor things, or if there has been changes in layout, per say an item that have had it's place and no longer can be located, or sudden anger in videogames, i know that's more common for people to get frustrated but i can start getting really angry really quick so i had to quit playing.
Yeah, I can relate to that.
+The Aspie World I came off the store just now and, well people in line bumping into you and the guy behind me put a hand on my shoulder, started telling me hurry up hurry up and started laughing after, i whas so nervous, angry, i just exploded inside, when i came home i smashed my hand right into the table, still hurts...
+HansensUniverse Yeah, I have those days.
Same for me
Same. I have issue myself. Getting pissed off about minor things. Getting overly emotional over nothing
My 11 year old son gets so angry. The anger doesn't usually fit the situation. It could be that his seat belt has locked and won't pull properly, or his brother is teasing with him in a playful way. He melts down. Screams, cries and where his brother is concerned he goes after him and hits him. Last night we played baseball and he didn't catch the ball. He got so upset and I try to be supportive and diffuse any situation by letting him know that he is not alone. I understand he's angry etc. And he gets very "dark" during these times. Very negative on himself. When he calms down its as if a switch flips and he comes back to us. Clouds are gone and he's himself again. I dont know how to help him with the frustration meltdowns. If he doesnt complete something perfectly the first attempt an angry, crying meltdown is imminent.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Hi there , I listen to you because of the anger and you don't have to have Asperger to be angry . The whole world is angry and I was VERY angry for so many years , thank God I'm not any more even though I know it's some of it is still there , but worked hard to get rid of it , not push it down but get rid of it .
I have question which has not been answered . What kind of behavior is it that makes people with your condition stand out ?? Not how people receive you or you them , just the worst to expect from someone with it ?? I enjoyed your talk and could relate allot to what you said , I hope things are going well for you know some years later ..
That's absolutely true: try being bullied for four years in jr. high to high school and see how your anger level is! You don't need any other conditions to be angry. Although,
I would also say that being angry for no good reasons whatsoever, is something entirely different. Like, I sometimes get annoyed or even angry when I'm in a supermarket
and I have a ton of stuff laid out on the conveyor, which is unusual for me, and I suddenly see more people backed up on my line in the checkout, and they are getting
aggressive, or even if not, it starts pushing my buttons, anger, anxiety, sweating, nervousness, etc., because I feel like they're rushing me, or hurrying me.
But I've also run into a lot of of bullying, angry, rude obnoxious people
in situations like that, so there's that also. (In which case anybody could have a run-in with someone like that, anyway, even if they are NT). But, people with Asperger's
tend to react much more readily or strongly in situations like that. Someone could be in the market and get angry or have a meltdown that the overhead lights are too bright,
etc., or the supermarket music is too loud or annoying.
Is it common for someone with this condition to focus their anger on one person?
I never got angry when I was younger, but after 40 I have become more and more angry. But I got upset. And when I felt hurt/overwhelmed and got a meltdown this behaviour was often interpreted as anger by people around me.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
I have struggle for years. Meditation is the key. Jon Kabat Zinn is my favorite. Also, I find that other people who have social adjustment issues really pile on Aspies because of their sincerity and independence. That is the real battle for me-all the people who need a scapegoat for a witch hunt. when i want to take responsibility for my actions it is distressing to wade through so much manipulation.
I suspect my husband has aspbergers. Being with him is exhausting and I try not to take his anger and meltdowns personally. I researched this and 1% of the population has it and 90% are men. Most neurotypical wives have to resort to antidepressants or alcoholism to deal with these men on a daily basis. Do us a favor and don't date or get married, you'll be happier and less frustrated in the long run
You know all of those things you mentioned a very common for meals later on in life with not inspection condition and they do fall into that category of using substances or alcohol unfortunately that’s just sometimes how it goes but there is help if you are able to get a diagnosis and then seek specific help and support where you can this can be overcome. I can totally understand how exhausting this may be for you so I hope that you find some support soon. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I usually get upset or angry, but when I get upset now I calm myself down by playing with my game console; which is one of my obsessions and I usually don't like wearing socks round the house because it makes me feel uncomfortable and I prefer to wear loose clothes like shorts. I guess this is to do with my sensory problems.
Yes, this is a good way of cooling down.
Hi, how would u handle the aggression growing up before you were aware you had aspergers and perhaps your teachers and school staff not understanding that you weren't just being defiant?
+Susan Mora It was difficult, everyone thought I was just an unhappy kid and being naughty. Obviously these were not the case.
Thank you so much for this video.
I have been with my husband for 21 years (3 years married) and im just finding out that he may be on the spectrum. He is 45. Hes a very successful, and very intelligent man. Im so very proud of him. But ive felt unloved for years, maybe 4 - 5 years. But things within the last 2 years are just getting worse. Is this possible? For things to get worse?
*No intimacy for 2 years
*No emotion
*No affection physically or verbally
*He snaps at me
*I feel i cant be myself and that im walking on eggshells
*Has a temper
*Speaks aggressively
*Obsessive (at the moment it's his vegan diet) it will soon be something else then back to the diet again
*He will only wear super soft clothing and takes tags out of his t-shirts
*Some of his comments are immature, maybe what you would expect from maybe a 7 or 8 year old
*Hes only interesting in talking about himself his own day
*I have health issues, he never asks how i am (thankfully i have amazing parents)
*He goes into a rage/tantrum if asked to do something or not do something
*Doesnt give people eye contact, it takes him a long time to feel comfortable around someone
*Prefers to be alone
*No friends
*Hates anything social
*He only likes to do things he's familiar with (example. going on the same vacations)
*Doesnt like change
*Lives to a routine/schedule
*Very matter of fact
*Doesnt like any conversations, especially about our r.ship or feelings
*Speaks to me like dirt for no reason
*Doesnt spend time with me...work comes first
These are some of the things i live with day to day. Am i right in thinking he could be on the spectrum?
For years ive cried and felt unloved.
A few weeks ago, the left side of my face went numb...i had to call emergency services....he went and got in bed with a book....he didnt even come and ask if i was ok? And doesnt see that hes coming across as not caring?
I think the main issue though...is the anger. I asked him the other day to cover his mouth when he coughs and he just blew!
I never know when hes going to kick off at me.
We are in the UK. I really hope to find some answers 🙏
So sorry to hear of your plight. I just discovered this site, and this anger thread, in hopes of learning more about a daughter of my ex-girlfriend who had intermittant rage issues. One thing I can say to you is that the lack of physical intimacy of your husband is probably his way of removing pressures which he can't handle (or a secret porn addiction). But being aware of that doesn't mean that you should acquiesce to it. You can't love someone who you can't trust, and, more importantly, you need someone who you can trust to understand you. I'm afraid such mutual understanding trust is impossible for you two.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Watching in 2021! I get very angry quickly as well.
I shattered my skull eight years ago I was in a coma for two weeks. It was a very difficult journey.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help.
Yes, my son and I both have this issue. I as the mom, and an aspie, have to be able to help him when he is in the midst of a meltdown. Sometimes, tho, I do have to walk away rather than exploding myself. We now just send him to chill out in his room, and if I have my own issues, I will just go in my room and turn all the lights off and calm down, which is hard because what I'd rather do is kick some hiney, but that's not the answer. I must say that my son has gotten much better now that he is 9. At 4, he'd beat the tar out of me, which was a year before he was diagnosed autistic. He also has been known to totally wreck his room in a meltdown. I've never known a 4 year old who could hurl a twin mattress across a room.
Wow, yeah, I was like that when I was his age.
ever stumbled on stairs or something and then stared kicking/punching stairs???