Sorry, a 16 year old and a 14 year old still need to be babysat? And the dad thought to foist that on the person paying his vacation? Where is the logic?
I guess the proper term would be "chaperoned", to prevent the teens from doing stupid crap and end up in trouble. Still crappy because she was the one footing the bills and was being treated as a child, taken for granted and looked down to massage the dude's ego.
The logic, if there's one, is they assumed OP would be a pushover and put up with it for the sake of the trip "going well". Essentially, they didn't expect OP to just leave like that, in their mind it was probably like "Worst case scenario, she keeps insisting and we can act like she's the one ruining the trip for everyone to shut her up".
the logic is very simple . op is the doormat who pay all bill and take care of the kids when they got a pay honeymoon for themself . they didnt want a familly trip, a bonding shit or anythink like that, they want a couple trip for themself without the kids on their leg .
It’s funny how they think Ops in the wrong for leaving and that he could’ve addressed it in the morning. But we all know what’s going to happen. They’re going to act offended when Op tells them the truth, get mad, they’re gonna have some victim mentality, and the stepdad is going to act like he’s in charge when he contributed nothing to the vacation.
Absolutely. They're not mad that OP didn't speak with them first. Not really. They're mad that OP reminded them that they're an EQUAL adult in this situation (one who's bankrolling their vacation no less), not a child they can boss around and shut down when they don't like what they're told. They can go cry about it on the plane ride home since they want to behave like spoiled toddlers.
I still feel like any parent who does this deserves to be publicly named and shamed as a shite parent. My father did something similar to my sibling and I... we were adults already so we just took our exit. So now, he hasn't heard from us in 6 years and that won't change no matter how much he whines to his sister (ie sends flying monkeys). Parents who pull that crap deserve nothing, since they see their child as disposable.
this men seems very fishy imo, the way she didn't defend her son, that she didn't tell her family about him before getting married, that he was always so cold to OP and how he was so disrespectful to him the worst part was comparing OP's mom with the ex mom, it's a manipulation technique used to makes you feel bad. That's a really toxic thing to do. I love my best friend, she is the best in the world, but i would never EVER negatively compare her to my ex-best friend who was sexually assaulting me. If you really love that person, you wouldn't act like that i have a feeling that her husband might be a manipulative and toxic person. But it's only my own feeling with what i saw. (Also isolating her from others might be another hint of his toxic behavior)
Op's Mom: I'm going to put all my attention on my new family, guilt you into paying for 3 more people on vacation, dump babysitter duty on you, disregard your privacy and attack you when you stand up for yourself. That's 4 fails, 4 violations. Not to mention she was going to focus on her husband, NOT OP- no bonding, thanks Mom. Nope: FREE just vacay+airfare+childcare. The mom's apology is another guilt trip. The only way back is the mom changing her behavior for a Good long Time. 😢
I mean...is it much of a vacation if you make your mother also look after the kids during this time? Eh. Im on neither side of this - op should of thought about the family before giving her mother a one ticket. They also should of talked about being included.
@@sentinalchocobo Those kids are their dad's responsibility-not the stepmoms. If they needed a chaperone, he should have been it, paid for it, or stayed behind with them and let the mom enjoy the trip that he couldn't afford to give her. They should have let her know upfront that they were planning on doing their own couples thing on her dime, and expect her to look after his kids.
I was a single mom. I would absolutely NEVER expect my daughter to do anything so extravagant for me. I wouldn't accept it. It was my privilege to raise her into the wonderful daughter and mother she is now.
Wait. They can't pay for a hotel room when op left, because their cards won't work internationally. Did I misheard? How they were going to pay for things (food, drinks, tickets to places, etc). What, they thought op will pay for that too?
OP's mom discarded her years ago when she married stepdad, easily. Makes you wonder whether mom was looking for an offramp from OP the whole relationship. Maybe Mom never wanted to be Mom in the first place.
Didn’t she take care of op her whole life? Now your saying that she discarded her js cuz she remarried? I swear man, Op and this comment section are so entitled. I’m not siding with the mother either, both of them are in the wrong.
OP was arrogantly humiliated twice by her mom's new husband when she tried to talk to them about the situation where she was forced to live with the kids and be a babysitter, and her mom sided with her husband instead of standing up for her. That makes them sacks of scat and OP was 100% right to punish them for that. The kids are however victims too; they weren't involved in their dad's disrespectful behavior. When OP decided to leave she should probably still have paid for ONE room for the rest of the stay. That way her mom, her new husband and the kids could have stayed together in that one room. That way the "family" can still stay together, and OP can enjoy the rest of her trip in a different hotel without being forced to babysit.
Insecure and poor old boomers are always like this. He consider op as competition because he can't be good breadwinner for his family and knew economy is crap and also envy rich boomers. I employ a guy like this and the reason I don't fire his ass yet because I feel pity for his family
@@m4x927Exactly, from the very beginning I had the feeling that the story about the ex was BS because he doesn't exactly seem like a great person either.
Op should've told her that THIS IS A GIFT FOR HER and ONLY HER and not going to pay it for people that are not even kind to her. This doesn't make her an A-hole but a doormat in the beginning.
Honestly, I don't think OP was a doormat. I think she was being as considerate as she could be. She gave time, tried to have two conversations then left when she felt disrespected. Again, just my opinion
Agreed, assert the offer is for a mother/daughter trip. ¿Anyone else guessing that the stepdad would have blocked the mom so he wouldn't have to be responsible for his 2 kids in her absence?😅
I wouldn’t have left like that but I would insist that since I paid for everything and step dad will not have a say in who sleeps where. I would tell them to apologize and give me my personal space or I leave and won’t pay for shit.
That would be the good way to go, but given how step dad was behaving so disrespectfully toward OP, I'd say f*ck 'em, they don't deserve the heads up if they can't even speak respectfully toward the person who's bankrolling their trip.
This wouldve been my approach too. I would have explained im paying for his familys trip, so the least he can do is pay for childcare, because i have my own room.
They never like Find Out time, so it's always the "Why don't you just talk???" Like they aren't gonna sit there and DARVO this crap once OP brings it up. Pieces of crap deserve to pay for their own damn hotel. And the mom is the biggest piece of crap in this. Any parent who chooses a new partner over their child (even if the child is an adult) deserves to be seen by everyone as the trash they are.
So let me get this straight: OP: Mom, I got a new promotion at work, and I've got money to take you and me on a vacay! I love you so much I want to treat you because you were such a great mom to me growing up! Mom: Oh, that's nice, sweetie. But I'll only accept if you agree to pay thousands of dollars more for my husband who's never been kind to you, and for the two stepkids that I treat better than I do you. Is that okay? OP: Sure, I'm a doormat. Bring them with you! Later... OP (twice): Hey, um, you know, I didn't make plans to be y'all's babysitter for this trip. Isn't this something you should have cleared with me beforehand? Stepdad: Shut up and just do what you're told. What are you going to do? Leave your mom behind? OP (no longer a doormat): Bet. Later... Mom: (Surprised Pikachu): I can't believe that you ran away like a cowardly child instead of talking to us like an adult! OP: I did try to talk to you, but your asshat of a husband shut me down each time. Mom: Well, I suppose I was being entitled, and my marriage is on the rocks, and I'm blaming you for all of this, because you made it worse. I think what's best for me now is for you not to talk to me, k? OP: What the hell happened to the woman who raised me? ... That story's all kinds of messed up. Hope it isn't real.
There’s no way this is real. Who doesn’t get a round trip for a short vacation? Also normally hotels are paid in full before arriving. So why would they have to pay it. And most banks allow u to make a purchase overseas now… Edit: also how on earth did they find out ops new hotel? Also did they not checked out of that hotel? Why did the mom come back two days later to talk to op?
Yeah. Every booking site has you pay all or a minimum then pay the rest at the hotel. And those same sites also have round trip flights. Definitely fake story.
Lol. Talk about it like an adult.😂😂😂 She did, twice. Don't bite the hands that feed you. If mom had been more open about why she wanted a vacation it would have been much more smoothly. Both seem to have the same communication issues.
I'd call her now ex an abusive and entitled pile of shit. Like someone is paying for an expensive vacation for you, and you treat them like garbage? Nuh uh. I'd probably say to his face that he is just as spoiled and entitled as his ex wife who ran around on him for treating you this way especially when this was a trip for your mother and him and his kids were add-ons that you were only willing to pay for cause it would make her happy.
This is messed up. The vacation wasn't only a gift for the mom but also a vacation for OP so the fact they tried to have her babysit and acted like this was their vacation is really entitled, leaving aside the fact the the mom insisted on bringing the step family and also the fact that the mom was giving any sort of priority to her new family is really fucked up. OP lost her dad and doesn't have any siblings so her mom was her only immediate family. As a parent you should never show favorites except in a situation like this. If you have step kids and only one bio kind from a previous relationship you should always give priority to the one bio kid. They need more support and you are their only real family plus it would feel awful if your only parent started treating step kids equal or better the them. It sounds selfish but think about it. We all feel entitled to our parents love and imagine if your parent now is giving someone else's kids that same love if not more and also giving their love to their new partner. Anyone would feel betrayed or upset in some way
When she said that she wouldn't come unless the rest of them could come, I would have said okay and booked me a first class ticket for one right in front of her. Also, who goes to another country without having any money?? Honey, you are nothing more than a ATM to them!
OP’s mom took her son’s generosity and kindheartedness for granted, so if is she is suffering than remember it’s just the karma biting her back, the entitlement of OP’s stepdad and his kids is simply disgusting, OP did the right thing, he shouldn’t apologise to anyone for anything, nothing to sorry about
IMO, while the mothers husband (and the mother) are issues, I didn't personally see the entitlement from the two stepsiblings you did. Actually I saw it the exact opposite way. From what the mother said to the OP, the stepkids mother lost custody for locking the children in a room alone for hours when she didn't want to be bothered being a parent. While the kids are now older, the father was basically doing the same thing to them on this holiday. The kids were told they were to room with the OP, and seemed to just be following instructions. The OP never mentions them being rude or anything similar about the situation, just matter of fact that they'd been told by their father they were rooming with OP. They clearly explained to OP in front of the children that they wanted a break from the kids, so expected OP to look after them. Honestly in this entire situation, I just feel bad for all three of the kids involved. The two minors appear to have been born into a situation where neither of their parents wanted to be parents, and OP was born to someone who was willing to throw their child under a bus for their partner.
So her marriage was an attempt to save her already shit relationship, the vacation was an attempt to salvage an already failing relationship, and now this was Al for nothing.
op mother lost both side here ... she understand who her husband is and don't like it, and op understand who her mother it and didnt like it . it's the trip of the truce in the end, everyone know wayyy better each other, and no one like it .
I don't understand why the room situation wasn't discussed prior so this story doesn't make sense. Unless his mom lied to OP and said they only needed one room for her family.
Ok but I think the mom was being reasonable at one point like, just because you had to share a room with someone and your mom let someone be disrespectful to you, doesn’t mean you get to leave the stranded in a foreign country
Why couldn’t the 17 year old watch the 14 year old?? And even if someone offers to pay your way to a trip, why wouldn’t two adults bring money just in case?? Her mom was doing too much. I get she might want companionship but at what cost?? I’m sure she blames her daughter for her bad choices.
the mom is in an abusive relationship, that is why she "wanted" the step family to come along ... so sad 😔😔and the step dad was able to alienate the mom from her daughter now with this trip. I hope the mom wakes up soon. good on OP for standing her ground!!
How does mom witness her husband disrespect her daughter and shut the door in her face without realizing that it reflects badly on her? Wtf is wrong with you lady? OP planned a vacation for 2, then they suckered her into paying for a vacation for 5, then they pre-planned to stick her with babysitting duties but not tell her because they KNEW it was fucked up. they both disrespected her to her face, then played the victim card like they were stranded, then caused a scene in public, then mom told daughter that shes choosing her husband over her. I dont care how bad that was a run on sentence, shes delusional. Why for a single second would you even want a relationship with her? She sounds horrible to be around...
Her mother don't get no sympathy from me so you cut your own daughter off try to make something work with somebody who's clearly still stuck on his ex-wife
Anyone who can discard their own children so easily belongs in the trash. That's where my father who let his new gf/wife of 2 months verbally harass me and my sister without a word now lives as far as I'm concerned. You toss your kids aside, they aren't gonna be there when the thing you tossed them for goes south. Sucks to suck.
Getting the end of the story finally made sense of the beginning. Stepdad is a controlling AH, so the marriage was already rocky when OP contacted her mom to invite her on a trip. The mom, desperate to save her marriage, insists on bringing her husband and step kids, thinking this will be the chance for them all to bond (or maybe it was the stepdad's idea). Then stepdad tries his controlling BS on OP, and OP isn't having it. I'm thinking that was the catalyst that made the mom realize that she had done a great job raising a strong young woman, but she was failing to be strong, herself. That's why she hasn't kept her daughter in the loop during the entirety of this relationship. She's ashamed. And she probably won't reach out to OP even as she's going through the pain of a divorce because of that shame. So at this point, I think OP may need to make the first move and just send a simple text that says something like, "I love you, and I'm here if you need me."
Babysitters, for a 16 and 14 yr old? WTH?! And they knew they would be in a foreign country but didn’t make sure their credit cards would work while possibly needing to pay for food, souvenirs or tipping out staff.
While I do agree on revenge, it’s actually insane of you to leave them in a completely different country with NO FOOD, NO WATER, NO MONEY, NO SHELTER, WITH THEIR CHILDREN, that is not ok.
OP's first mistake was to treat her mother to a holiday abroad and expect her to leave her new husband and step-children behind. She was hoping to have her mother back as a (temporary) single parent. Of course he mother and stepfather were not going to share a bedroom with two teenagers. The situation called for four, not two, bedrooms. That was the second mistake.
I think they had been married for a couple of years so not new. And sure 3 maybe (teens could share) but only if stepdad and mom were going to pay for it.
@@ashleyt6840 That would have been what Americans call an Indian gift. "Please come and join me in this five star restaurant. Oh, by the way, you'll have to pay for your meal."
I'm sorry, I missed something. She wanted just her mom, the mom wanted to bring her family. Op had to spend more to accommodate her mom. Then they want op to babysit kids who can babysit themselves and pay for everything. Then was rude when op, the person paying for them all, didn't like what they, the people op is paying for, was rude to her while she is paying for everything. Then they got mad when they had to pay for themselves. Did I mention op was paying for everything? I don't think op did anything wrong.
OP should have made it clear before booking a thing that her “family” is not invited. Every step along this path OP could have put a stop to all of this expense and mess. Do NOT apologize. You don’t owe your mother anything. That was her responsibility to you. I’m confused though she started this post so positively, yet they end there? How good of a mother was she before meeting this man?
OP's mom really truly chose a disrespectful man who not only treated his new wife's adult daughter like shit but also compared said new wife to his ex wife who regularly neglected their children... Wow, what a loser. Both the husband and the mom.
That new guy OP's mom found has got to be a narcissist. Can't seem to recognize when someone is doing him a favor, doesn't seem to understand that actions have consequences even for him and that his burden of family isn't someone else's job to sort out, can't see that he's projecting bullshit arguments that he himself completely ignores because they don't fit his narrative. He's just the worst type of parental figure you could ask for before it turns physically abusive in some fashion. I seriously doubt his ex was any worse than he is.
She lost me at her mom saying she "loves them all equally." You can't love your second husband the way you loved your first. You can't love your husband in the same way you love your children. You can't love the child you carried and gave life to even remotely the same amount you love your step children. Let alone only knowing her husband's children for 6 years. Her mom is trash. The husband probably left her in Greece and now that she's stranded she suddenly "sees the error of her ways"? Highly doubtful. Cut them off. Grieve. Then move on with your life.
My guess is the stepdad was a controlling asshole. Mom likely told him about the vacation her daughter offered to give her and guilt tripped her into bringing the entire family. He was likely the one who came up with the idea for his stepdaughter to watch his kids. Mom probably also saw the vacation as an opportunity for them to work on a failing marriage.
Honestly in my opinion if she wanted a break she should have asked her husband to leave the teenage kids that could be left on their own with his parents or perhaps an uncle or Aunt or whatever on his side that would have been a better idea parents need their alone time sometimes too and it would have been forcing someone else that barely knows them to watch him while they try to work shit out and stuff on a vacation
terrible mother. Such a terrible mother who puts her new family over her own child. I hate people who do this with my whole core ( maybe its the trauma talking ). Op should've never even offered to take their mother on the damn vacation bc she damn well does not deserve it. And the husband is so entitled and horrible too.
I'm questioning if OP's mom was really a good person at all. Sounds to me if she had the chance to dump OP off before then she would have. No respectful mother would abandon their child like that. The fact that OP's mom ditched her for a new family, and never bothered to ever tell her about the relationship before they got married tells you all. Yeah, I think OP's mom was looking for the exit all alone. OP should go no contact and have nothing more to do with her.
OPs mom saw her daughter as a prop. Source: personal experience. It's funny, because now I can just pull out info my abusive father never told me about to shame him, like the fact that he's bought a new car in the last two years or so, but he can't be bothered to pay $40 gym bill (he was putting my info down on stuff he didn't want to pay for... never mind the fact that I've been NC for 6 years). The post I made on the book of faces seems to have made him think twice about that little maneuver.
I would be completely on your side if it wasn’t for the fact that this takes place in a different country because they have no money and other countries laws work different so you might not know how things will end up you could’ve got them all arrested and the kids put into social services but yeah they’re all assholes
I honestly don't know what a responsible decision it is to take a family you dont care for abroad with you on vacation. Like.. you know you'll probably get into an argument sooner or later, leaving them stranded might be petty and maybe deservedly so, but they become your responsibility once they're in a new country... as unfortunate as that is... The father sounds suspicious from the story, maybe the mother of his children is trashy, but the sneakiness to marry OP's mom behind everyone's back seems suspicious. Was it his idea? Was it hers? they're clearly of a certain age where being alone might take a toll but he's got teenagers who you can't play around with marrying just anyone tl;dr I think the mother is probably the one making poor life decisions and its inadvertently affecting OP. The divorce sounds like it was inevitable because it seems like her husband is the REAL one who married a woman to "babysit" HIS children.
This happened to me somewhat. Have a sister 16 years older than me who arranged a family trip to some beach rental home. I paid for a room all to myself and when l eventually got there a bit later than everyone, they had given my room to the kids, since they only got them ONE for 6. No one talked this with me. no one said was l alright as a 20 year old sharing my rom with a bunch of 10-13 year olds and so that afternoon l just drove back after dinner...which also consisted of "are you going to eat all of that? Kids will want some later" :C l paid for a whole room and didnt even get a whole plate lol.
I am a bit torn between the emotions of both mother and OP. I don’t support the mother for what she did at the vacation but at the same time I feel OP should have just once contacted her mother to show that she is there for her whenever she wants a shoulder. The reason I say this is cos right now OP’s mother is alone without any support and she did apologise for whatever had occurred between her and OP. Maybe its just me but i would like to know other people’s opinion about this too. Also i dont mean OP should go back to her mother but just convey to her that she(OP) is there for her(mother) if she wants. After that if the mother doesnt respond then atleast she fulfilled her duty as a daughter and friend.
Why do some biological parents put the stepparent/ other spouse on the top priority over anyone who been in there live? And why some stepparent/s like to destroy the relationship with their spouse’s child?
I find it sad that OP’s mom kept her out of important things like the new relationship and a whole divorce but OP thought of her mom first for the vacation and even brought along people who she doesn’t get along with for the mom’s sake
Oh, mom lost the family she prioritized over her own daughter? Sounds like karmic justice to me. This story also brings me back to another one, where OP's sister kept forcing him to babysit her three kids during vacations, until he put his foot down and forced the whole family dynamic to change.
I remember that one! Yeah his parents always told him since they were paying for his room and driving him there then he had to babysit. When it came time to book rooms he told them he was booking his own room and driving himself and they freaked out bc they weren’t going to be able to hold that over his head. He was able to enjoy the vacation. He was genius for that!
once you make the move, is suddenly a "you should have talked about it first", but before making the move she did tried to talk, twice!, and there was not talking done. always the same, i said that in these situation is better to be impulsive, in general, in life, im not saying that being impulsive always is a good thing, but if you try to talk and you get shut down, doing something unexpected is always a good move, not only because you will always have the initiative afterwards in whatever the issue is, but also because after a couple of these, people will actually listen to you when is talking time, because they know that you are going to act if you dont talk things out.
well it is a foreing country and you shouldn't do that but hey Citizens defraud their fellow citizens when they go abroad. (or something like that originally its "hemşeri hemşeriyi gurbette dolandırırmış".)
Yta Sorry! You should’ve said no once she asked about bringing her family, this would’ve avoided it, now they were moneyless and in a foreign country, that’s extremely scary. Yta but so is your mom
They were both assholes, op shouldn’t have agreed to bring the family as it was not her responsibility, but now that she did agree they would’ve been part of her responsibility, so leaving them knowing they won’t have the means to pay the hotel was indeed childish. But the moms also an asshole for expecting her daughter to bring her new family and for not standing up for her. And then the mom just really started fumbling after she left. Like really??? You’ve never learned to not bite the hand that feeds you?? Just apologize and get them kids to sleep in your room and you would’ve still been able to enjoy a nice vacation 💀
It takes a single phone call to get the credit card processor to open the card to international transactions. They could pay for themselves, they were just being shitty.
Exactly she shouldn’t have left like that. I would have a sit down and tell them since I’m paying step dad has no say and mom needs to back her up or you will leave. I’m sure they would have changed their tune,
Thank you! I see so many people saying what OP did was completely fine/right. OP agreed to take and pay for all of them (should’ve said no); she took on the responsibility of taking 4 other people to a foreign country, knowing they wouldn’t have the means to afford to go there on their own (reiterated multiple times how she could only afford this bc of her promotion and if money wasn’t an issue for mom/stepdad, they would’ve planned something before). Yes they were shitty and entitled but that would not have made me abandon 4 people in a foreign country with no means of returning home. Everyone (except the kids, not their fault) was an asshole in this story. Should’ve just ended the trip early or given them an ultimatum (I have my own room since I’m paying or I’m leaving). This does not excuse mom/step-dad at all but OP’s response to their disrespect could’ve been handled better.
@brandinicole1372 you've clearly never dealt with manipulative family members. When someone (like stepdad) shows you they aren't going to listen/respect a thing you say, there's no point in talking. You act. Bringing up the fact that she's paying for the vacation would've just sent AH step-dad and mommy dearest into an "I'm the victim" tantrum. Talking and communicating your feelings only works when the other person is willing to listen. Otherwise, you're just giving them more ammunition.
“I thought this could bond us all together.” Then you should’ve paid lady or make him pay for him and his kids. She doesn’t know these people! Definitely not well enough to pay for such a trip for them. And on top of that it’s for someone she already didn’t like! Op tried to gift a trip to her mom out of the goodness of her heart and mom basically gifted this to her husband. I have a feeling mom doesn’t do anything without the husband’s permission (ab*sive?) and knew he would’ve pressured her to make op pay for them anyways. He controls mom and for some reason thought he could control op too. I feel so bad for op bc she lost her only parent. It’s hard to feel bad for mom bc she made this happen. I will say good for her for leaving that ah. Maybe she thought she sacrificed a love life when op was a child. So she accepted any type of love. Unfortunately she was willing to sacrifice her relationship with her daughter. Now she really is alone.
Feels fake… pretty sure you have to prepay for a hotel so transferring to her mother wouldn’t mean they’d be kicked out, and she must of know what room she was getting as she was organising it? So why’d she get a room with multiple beds instead of just 1 for herself, would of made the mother not able to leave the kids with her
These are very possible. There are times where it would be cheaper if they reserve a room but have the hotel select the rooms. Depending on the hotel you can either pay before you stay or after. When I was in Japan I had the option to pay before or after. Wouldn't be surprised if you talked to the front you can change the credit card info.
A fun fairytale. Not gonna get into banks, traveling and all that real life stuff. I think this is OP's fantasy about what she wish she could do to her mom and new family. Her mom probably got married to someone she didn't like and because she's grown (probably 20s, she's too needy to be in her 30s), her mother shut down her input. She doesn't feel like family to the new people and has not been able to get her mother to understand. Now she has to watch her step siblings have not only a mom but a father too. She's hurt and can only fantasize her wishes. Fun story though.
Human always in the pursue of new things that dopamine's when the usual thing become stale they often sought a new risk and new experience that potentially may or may not damage an already solid relationship Tldr something that cost you family ain't worth the risk unless you're investor in stock exchange
I dont get along with my stepmom. But we're nice to each other. Mostly. But its my dad who lives with her so there's something he likes about her. He been married to her longer than my mom, so who am i to but in. I think sometimes we are a lot alike but thats why we bump heads so much.
Actually y'all may not agree with me but this is Opie's fault because she should have put her foot down and said no. You should have told your mother that look I want to take you on a vacation your family is not my family and if you don't agree with that then I'm going to just go ahead and go on my own simple as that there was no if ands and buts and it shouldn't have been. 😊 But her being the door mat that she is could not tell these people know and then get shocked when they throw the kids in the room with her and then she sit there and said she was for some reason you people up here that writes these stories every time you are shocked you act like you can't open your mouth. I would have told them no your kids are not staying in my room I don't care what you say so and so because you aren't paying for anything and honestly I didn't even want you to be on this trip they're going to be in your room and I don't care about the fact that y'all need a vacation if that was the case and you shouldn't have brought your kids and sent them to your family. But she couldn't do that because she was too weak and like I said she was a doormat
"I'll accept your gift, but only if you spend thousands more on people you don't like"
* spend thousands on strangers
*And will actively treat you like garbage.
* And act entitled
Sorry, a 16 year old and a 14 year old still need to be babysat? And the dad thought to foist that on the person paying his vacation? Where is the logic?
Ong bro that’s just embarrassing
I guess the proper term would be "chaperoned", to prevent the teens from doing stupid crap and end up in trouble. Still crappy because she was the one footing the bills and was being treated as a child, taken for granted and looked down to massage the dude's ego.
there is no logic
The logic, if there's one, is they assumed OP would be a pushover and put up with it for the sake of the trip "going well". Essentially, they didn't expect OP to just leave like that, in their mind it was probably like "Worst case scenario, she keeps insisting and we can act like she's the one ruining the trip for everyone to shut her up".
the logic is very simple .
op is the doormat who pay all bill and take care of the kids when they got a pay honeymoon for themself .
they didnt want a familly trip, a bonding shit or anythink like that, they want a couple trip for themself without the kids on their leg .
the op’s mom should’ve paid for her new family if she wanted them to go that bad
Agreed
Yeah no shit
Except the only reason the kids came was so OP could babysit them while “bonding”
Fr tho
So she put op second and still lost the fake family she was trying to make lol
The best kind of karmic justice
That's what you get when you don't know who is worth loving. A mother would never let someone disrespect her child.
It’s funny how they think Ops in the wrong for leaving and that he could’ve addressed it in the morning. But we all know what’s going to happen. They’re going to act offended when Op tells them the truth, get mad, they’re gonna have some victim mentality, and the stepdad is going to act like he’s in charge when he contributed nothing to the vacation.
Absolutely. They're not mad that OP didn't speak with them first. Not really. They're mad that OP reminded them that they're an EQUAL adult in this situation (one who's bankrolling their vacation no less), not a child they can boss around and shut down when they don't like what they're told. They can go cry about it on the plane ride home since they want to behave like spoiled toddlers.
She real life just chose a man over her own flesh and blood who compared to his terrible wife🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
I still feel like any parent who does this deserves to be publicly named and shamed as a shite parent. My father did something similar to my sibling and I... we were adults already so we just took our exit. So now, he hasn't heard from us in 6 years and that won't change no matter how much he whines to his sister (ie sends flying monkeys). Parents who pull that crap deserve nothing, since they see their child as disposable.
I hate parents who pick the person they're sleeping with over their kids more than any other kind of person.
this men seems very fishy imo, the way she didn't defend her son, that she didn't tell her family about him before getting married, that he was always so cold to OP and how he was so disrespectful to him
the worst part was comparing OP's mom with the ex mom, it's a manipulation technique used to makes you feel bad. That's a really toxic thing to do. I love my best friend, she is the best in the world, but i would never EVER negatively compare her to my ex-best friend who was sexually assaulting me. If you really love that person, you wouldn't act like that
i have a feeling that her husband might be a manipulative and toxic person. But it's only my own feeling with what i saw. (Also isolating her from others might be another hint of his toxic behavior)
Her husband is abusive and she's rolling over and taking it.
Op's Mom: I'm going to put all my attention on my new family, guilt you into paying for 3 more people on vacation, dump babysitter duty on you, disregard your privacy and attack you when you stand up for yourself. That's 4 fails, 4 violations. Not to mention she was going to focus on her husband, NOT OP- no bonding, thanks Mom. Nope: FREE just vacay+airfare+childcare. The mom's apology is another guilt trip. The only way back is the mom changing her behavior for a Good long Time. 😢
I mean...is it much of a vacation if you make your mother also look after the kids during this time? Eh. Im on neither side of this - op should of thought about the family before giving her mother a one ticket.
They also should of talked about being included.
@@sentinalchocobo Those kids are their dad's responsibility-not the stepmoms. If they needed a chaperone, he should have been it, paid for it, or stayed behind with them and let the mom enjoy the trip that he couldn't afford to give her. They should have let her know upfront that they were planning on doing their own couples thing on her dime, and expect her to look after his kids.
I was a single mom. I would absolutely NEVER expect my daughter to do anything so extravagant for me. I wouldn't accept it. It was my privilege to raise her into the wonderful daughter and mother she is now.
I would go to the vacation but just me and daughter
Wait. They can't pay for a hotel room when op left, because their cards won't work internationally. Did I misheard? How they were going to pay for things (food, drinks, tickets to places, etc). What, they thought op will pay for that too?
Most likely yeah. She thought OP was gonna pay everything for 3 extra people, who he did not invite in the first place
OP's mom discarded her years ago when she married stepdad, easily. Makes you wonder whether mom was looking for an offramp from OP the whole relationship. Maybe Mom never wanted to be Mom in the first place.
That’s a good point! I didn’t even think maybe she had resentment for being a single mom.
She did that's why even after divorce she's still no contact. Now she will try to find single men but that won't go well.
Didn’t she take care of op her whole life? Now your saying that she discarded her js cuz she remarried? I swear man, Op and this comment section are so entitled. I’m not siding with the mother either, both of them are in the wrong.
OP was arrogantly humiliated twice by her mom's new husband when she tried to talk to them about the situation where she was forced to live with the kids and be a babysitter, and her mom sided with her husband instead of standing up for her. That makes them sacks of scat and OP was 100% right to punish them for that. The kids are however victims too; they weren't involved in their dad's disrespectful behavior. When OP decided to leave she should probably still have paid for ONE room for the rest of the stay. That way her mom, her new husband and the kids could have stayed together in that one room. That way the "family" can still stay together, and OP can enjoy the rest of her trip in a different hotel without being forced to babysit.
they're adults with their own money, op did right
honestly if this is how the new dad behaved I wouldn't be surprised if he was just as bad as his ex wife
Insecure and poor old boomers are always like this. He consider op as competition because he can't be good breadwinner for his family and knew economy is crap and also envy rich boomers. I employ a guy like this and the reason I don't fire his ass yet because I feel pity for his family
@@m4x927Exactly, from the very beginning I had the feeling that the story about the ex was BS because he doesn't exactly seem like a great person either.
Absolutely not. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
Op should've told her that THIS IS A GIFT FOR HER and ONLY HER and not going to pay it for people that are not even kind to her.
This doesn't make her an A-hole but a doormat in the beginning.
Honestly, I don't think OP was a doormat. I think she was being as considerate as she could be. She gave time, tried to have two conversations then left when she felt disrespected. Again, just my opinion
Exactly. It was a mother-daughter trip.
Agreed, assert the offer is for a mother/daughter trip. ¿Anyone else guessing that the stepdad would have blocked the mom so he wouldn't have to be responsible for his 2 kids in her absence?😅
Agree
I wouldn’t have left like that but I would insist that since I paid for everything and step dad will not have a say in who sleeps where. I would tell them to apologize and give me my personal space or I leave and won’t pay for shit.
That would be the good way to go, but given how step dad was behaving so disrespectfully toward OP, I'd say f*ck 'em, they don't deserve the heads up if they can't even speak respectfully toward the person who's bankrolling their trip.
This wouldve been my approach too.
I would have explained im paying for his familys trip, so the least he can do is pay for childcare, because i have my own room.
I feel like OP's step father (if you can even call him that) lied about his ex. He comes off as manipulative and abusive but that's just me
I got the same feeling! I feel like even if mom had told him about the trip he still would’ve pressured her to get op to take them or she couldn’t go.
Why did she even ask the kids to go when all she wanted to do was get away from them?
Yep, just leave the man home with kids.
She wanted a vacation with the husband and needed a babysitter 💁🏼♂️
She did bring it up and they had the chance to talk. FAFO.
I love hiw it's always "ee should be able to talk" when it's FO time.
They never like Find Out time, so it's always the "Why don't you just talk???" Like they aren't gonna sit there and DARVO this crap once OP brings it up. Pieces of crap deserve to pay for their own damn hotel. And the mom is the biggest piece of crap in this. Any parent who chooses a new partner over their child (even if the child is an adult) deserves to be seen by everyone as the trash they are.
So let me get this straight:
OP: Mom, I got a new promotion at work, and I've got money to take you and me on a vacay! I love you so much I want to treat you because you were such a great mom to me growing up!
Mom: Oh, that's nice, sweetie. But I'll only accept if you agree to pay thousands of dollars more for my husband who's never been kind to you, and for the two stepkids that I treat better than I do you. Is that okay?
OP: Sure, I'm a doormat. Bring them with you!
Later...
OP (twice): Hey, um, you know, I didn't make plans to be y'all's babysitter for this trip. Isn't this something you should have cleared with me beforehand?
Stepdad: Shut up and just do what you're told. What are you going to do? Leave your mom behind?
OP (no longer a doormat): Bet.
Later...
Mom: (Surprised Pikachu): I can't believe that you ran away like a cowardly child instead of talking to us like an adult!
OP: I did try to talk to you, but your asshat of a husband shut me down each time.
Mom: Well, I suppose I was being entitled, and my marriage is on the rocks, and I'm blaming you for all of this, because you made it worse. I think what's best for me now is for you not to talk to me, k?
OP: What the hell happened to the woman who raised me?
...
That story's all kinds of messed up. Hope it isn't real.
A Mom that loves you stands up for you. She gave you up when she got the new family. Your mom no longer loves you.
There’s no way this is real. Who doesn’t get a round trip for a short vacation? Also normally hotels are paid in full before arriving. So why would they have to pay it. And most banks allow u to make a purchase overseas now…
Edit: also how on earth did they find out ops new hotel? Also did they not checked out of that hotel? Why did the mom come back two days later to talk to op?
Yeah. Every booking site has you pay all or a minimum then pay the rest at the hotel.
And those same sites also have round trip flights.
Definitely fake story.
@@ComeliaO7 I don’t get why people would just lie.
Lol. Talk about it like an adult.😂😂😂
She did, twice. Don't bite the hands that feed you.
If mom had been more open about why she wanted a vacation it would have been much more smoothly.
Both seem to have the same communication issues.
I'd call her now ex an abusive and entitled pile of shit. Like someone is paying for an expensive vacation for you, and you treat them like garbage? Nuh uh. I'd probably say to his face that he is just as spoiled and entitled as his ex wife who ran around on him for treating you this way especially when this was a trip for your mother and him and his kids were add-ons that you were only willing to pay for cause it would make her happy.
This is messed up. The vacation wasn't only a gift for the mom but also a vacation for OP so the fact they tried to have her babysit and acted like this was their vacation is really entitled, leaving aside the fact the the mom insisted on bringing the step family and also the fact that the mom was giving any sort of priority to her new family is really fucked up. OP lost her dad and doesn't have any siblings so her mom was her only immediate family. As a parent you should never show favorites except in a situation like this. If you have step kids and only one bio kind from a previous relationship you should always give priority to the one bio kid. They need more support and you are their only real family plus it would feel awful if your only parent started treating step kids equal or better the them. It sounds selfish but think about it. We all feel entitled to our parents love and imagine if your parent now is giving someone else's kids that same love if not more and also giving their love to their new partner. Anyone would feel betrayed or upset in some way
"You should have waited till morning so we could talk about it as a family" um. The stepdad slammed a door in her face. That ship has sailed.
When she said that she wouldn't come unless the rest of them could come, I would have said okay and booked me a first class ticket for one right in front of her. Also, who goes to another country without having any money?? Honey, you are nothing more than a ATM to them!
Seen ironic that mom picked the new family and soon broke it off with the husband! Make me wonder if she regret putting OP second place?
I wonder where I heard this before. Hmmm 🤔
You probably did I remember this a few months prior but I’m asymming this story was updated
This story is clearly fake so you have probably seen variations out there.
OP’s mom took her son’s generosity and kindheartedness for granted, so if is she is suffering than remember it’s just the karma biting her back, the entitlement of OP’s stepdad and his kids is simply disgusting, OP did the right thing, he shouldn’t apologise to anyone for anything, nothing to sorry about
IMO, while the mothers husband (and the mother) are issues, I didn't personally see the entitlement from the two stepsiblings you did. Actually I saw it the exact opposite way. From what the mother said to the OP, the stepkids mother lost custody for locking the children in a room alone for hours when she didn't want to be bothered being a parent. While the kids are now older, the father was basically doing the same thing to them on this holiday. The kids were told they were to room with the OP, and seemed to just be following instructions. The OP never mentions them being rude or anything similar about the situation, just matter of fact that they'd been told by their father they were rooming with OP. They clearly explained to OP in front of the children that they wanted a break from the kids, so expected OP to look after them. Honestly in this entire situation, I just feel bad for all three of the kids involved. The two minors appear to have been born into a situation where neither of their parents wanted to be parents, and OP was born to someone who was willing to throw their child under a bus for their partner.
So her marriage was an attempt to save her already shit relationship, the vacation was an attempt to salvage an already failing relationship, and now this was Al for nothing.
op mother lost both side here ...
she understand who her husband is and don't like it, and op understand who her mother it and didnt like it .
it's the trip of the truce in the end, everyone know wayyy better each other, and no one like it .
I don't understand why the room situation wasn't discussed prior so this story doesn't make sense. Unless his mom lied to OP and said they only needed one room for her family.
Right. Why would four people share a room?
This ofc doesn’t make u the AH but I hope u realize u we’re a bit of a doormat, you didn’t set boundaries when needed
Ok but I think the mom was being reasonable at one point like, just because you had to share a room with someone and your mom let someone be disrespectful to you, doesn’t mean you get to leave the stranded in a foreign country
Why couldn’t the 17 year old watch the 14 year old?? And even if someone offers to pay your way to a trip, why wouldn’t two adults bring money just in case?? Her mom was doing too much. I get she might want companionship but at what cost?? I’m sure she blames her daughter for her bad choices.
Mom was looking for a babysitter.
Step-dad was looking for a babysitter for his crotch spawns, Mom was a door mat
the mom is in an abusive relationship, that is why she "wanted" the step family to come along ... so sad 😔😔and the step dad was able to alienate the mom from her daughter now with this trip. I hope the mom wakes up soon. good on OP for standing her ground!!
How does mom witness her husband disrespect her daughter and shut the door in her face without realizing that it reflects badly on her? Wtf is wrong with you lady?
OP planned a vacation for 2, then they suckered her into paying for a vacation for 5, then they pre-planned to stick her with babysitting duties but not tell her because they KNEW it was fucked up. they both disrespected her to her face, then played the victim card like they were stranded, then caused a scene in public, then mom told daughter that shes choosing her husband over her. I dont care how bad that was a run on sentence, shes delusional.
Why for a single second would you even want a relationship with her? She sounds horrible to be around...
Mom loves the new husband more than her kid, that's it
Thats the problem with families. They are the most untrustworthy and toxically entitled people you'll ever know.
Yes international hotels just let you say "someone else is paying" and leave your booking.
Please try harder to seem real.
On top of she’s getting a refund on a roundway plane ticket
i do have trouble feeling bad for OP for allowing them to come with her
OP getting the best revenge by enjoying her vacation and ruining step dads 😂
the last bit about the "too old to hold grudges" really fuckin hit me lmao
That last visit by the mom was her revenge
Her mother don't get no sympathy from me so you cut your own daughter off try to make something work with somebody who's clearly still stuck on his ex-wife
Anyone who can discard their own children so easily belongs in the trash. That's where my father who let his new gf/wife of 2 months verbally harass me and my sister without a word now lives as far as I'm concerned. You toss your kids aside, they aren't gonna be there when the thing you tossed them for goes south. Sucks to suck.
That's not how you accept a gift, and it doesn't seem like those kids are gonna develop fully with how they've been raised.
Getting the end of the story finally made sense of the beginning. Stepdad is a controlling AH, so the marriage was already rocky when OP contacted her mom to invite her on a trip. The mom, desperate to save her marriage, insists on bringing her husband and step kids, thinking this will be the chance for them all to bond (or maybe it was the stepdad's idea). Then stepdad tries his controlling BS on OP, and OP isn't having it. I'm thinking that was the catalyst that made the mom realize that she had done a great job raising a strong young woman, but she was failing to be strong, herself. That's why she hasn't kept her daughter in the loop during the entirety of this relationship. She's ashamed. And she probably won't reach out to OP even as she's going through the pain of a divorce because of that shame. So at this point, I think OP may need to make the first move and just send a simple text that says something like, "I love you, and I'm here if you need me."
Babysitters, for a 16 and 14 yr old? WTH?! And they knew they would be in a foreign country but didn’t make sure their credit cards would work while possibly needing to pay for food, souvenirs or tipping out staff.
While I do agree on revenge, it’s actually insane of you to leave them in a completely different country with NO FOOD, NO WATER, NO MONEY, NO SHELTER, WITH THEIR CHILDREN, that is not ok.
OP's first mistake was to treat her mother to a holiday abroad and expect her to leave her new husband and step-children behind. She was hoping to have her mother back as a (temporary) single parent. Of course he mother and stepfather were not going to share a bedroom with two teenagers. The situation called for four, not two, bedrooms. That was the second mistake.
I think they had been married for a couple of years so not new. And sure 3 maybe (teens could share) but only if stepdad and mom were going to pay for it.
@@ashleyt6840 That would have been what Americans call an Indian gift. "Please come and join me in this five star restaurant. Oh, by the way, you'll have to pay for your meal."
I'm sorry, I missed something. She wanted just her mom, the mom wanted to bring her family. Op had to spend more to accommodate her mom. Then they want op to babysit kids who can babysit themselves and pay for everything. Then was rude when op, the person paying for them all, didn't like what they, the people op is paying for, was rude to her while she is paying for everything. Then they got mad when they had to pay for themselves. Did I mention op was paying for everything? I don't think op did anything wrong.
OP should have made it clear before booking a thing that her “family” is not invited. Every step along this path OP could have put a stop to all of this expense and mess. Do NOT apologize. You don’t owe your mother anything. That was her responsibility to you. I’m confused though she started this post so positively, yet they end there? How good of a mother was she before meeting this man?
OP's mom really truly chose a disrespectful man who not only treated his new wife's adult daughter like shit but also compared said new wife to his ex wife who regularly neglected their children... Wow, what a loser. Both the husband and the mom.
She should have told her mom to plan a time when she could come alone
Those weren't even kids to begin with.
The golden rule:
The one with the gold (or money) makes the rules.
That new guy OP's mom found has got to be a narcissist. Can't seem to recognize when someone is doing him a favor, doesn't seem to understand that actions have consequences even for him and that his burden of family isn't someone else's job to sort out, can't see that he's projecting bullshit arguments that he himself completely ignores because they don't fit his narrative. He's just the worst type of parental figure you could ask for before it turns physically abusive in some fashion. I seriously doubt his ex was any worse than he is.
She lost me at her mom saying she "loves them all equally." You can't love your second husband the way you loved your first. You can't love your husband in the same way you love your children. You can't love the child you carried and gave life to even remotely the same amount you love your step children. Let alone only knowing her husband's children for 6 years. Her mom is trash. The husband probably left her in Greece and now that she's stranded she suddenly "sees the error of her ways"? Highly doubtful. Cut them off. Grieve. Then move on with your life.
My guess is the stepdad was a controlling asshole. Mom likely told him about the vacation her daughter offered to give her and guilt tripped her into bringing the entire family. He was likely the one who came up with the idea for his stepdaughter to watch his kids. Mom probably also saw the vacation as an opportunity for them to work on a failing marriage.
Who goes to another country without making sure their credit cards work,, they just assumed op would pay for everything , the audacity
Honestly in my opinion if she wanted a break she should have asked her husband to leave the teenage kids that could be left on their own with his parents or perhaps an uncle or Aunt or whatever on his side that would have been a better idea parents need their alone time sometimes too and it would have been forcing someone else that barely knows them to watch him while they try to work shit out and stuff on a vacation
terrible mother. Such a terrible mother who puts her new family over her own child. I hate people who do this with my whole core ( maybe its the trauma talking ). Op should've never even offered to take their mother on the damn vacation bc she damn well does not deserve it. And the husband is so entitled and horrible too.
I'm questioning if OP's mom was really a good person at all. Sounds to me if she had the chance to dump OP off before then she would have. No respectful mother would abandon their child like that. The fact that OP's mom ditched her for a new family, and never bothered to ever tell her about the relationship before they got married tells you all. Yeah, I think OP's mom was looking for the exit all alone. OP should go no contact and have nothing more to do with her.
OPs mom saw her daughter as a prop. Source: personal experience. It's funny, because now I can just pull out info my abusive father never told me about to shame him, like the fact that he's bought a new car in the last two years or so, but he can't be bothered to pay $40 gym bill (he was putting my info down on stuff he didn't want to pay for... never mind the fact that I've been NC for 6 years). The post I made on the book of faces seems to have made him think twice about that little maneuver.
Op did the right thing. Her Mom was taking advantage. Go low contact
This sounds alot like the story about the parents forcing the creepy step brother to room with the op
At least try to talk to her husband to see if you 2 can come to an agreement to at least be cordial with each other for your mom’s sake
Op already tried to sort it out with mom and stepdad and it went nowhere. Nta. Play stupid games.....
I would be completely on your side if it wasn’t for the fact that this takes place in a different country because they have no money and other countries laws work different so you might not know how things will end up you could’ve got them all arrested and the kids put into social services but yeah they’re all assholes
I honestly don't know what a responsible decision it is to take a family you dont care for abroad with you on vacation. Like.. you know you'll probably get into an argument sooner or later, leaving them stranded might be petty and maybe deservedly so, but they become your responsibility once they're in a new country... as unfortunate as that is...
The father sounds suspicious from the story, maybe the mother of his children is trashy, but the sneakiness to marry OP's mom behind everyone's back seems suspicious. Was it his idea? Was it hers? they're clearly of a certain age where being alone might take a toll but he's got teenagers who you can't play around with marrying just anyone
tl;dr I think the mother is probably the one making poor life decisions and its inadvertently affecting OP. The divorce sounds like it was inevitable because it seems like her husband is the REAL one who married a woman to "babysit" HIS children.
She should’ve just said no
This happened to me somewhat. Have a sister 16 years older than me who arranged a family trip to some beach rental home.
I paid for a room all to myself and when l eventually got there a bit later than everyone, they had given my room to the kids, since they only got them ONE for 6. No one talked this with me. no one said was l alright as a 20 year old sharing my rom with a bunch of 10-13 year olds and so that afternoon l just drove back after dinner...which also consisted of "are you going to eat all of that? Kids will want some later"
:C l paid for a whole room and didnt even get a whole plate lol.
I am a bit torn between the emotions of both mother and OP. I don’t support the mother for what she did at the vacation but at the same time I feel OP should have just once contacted her mother to show that she is there for her whenever she wants a shoulder. The reason I say this is cos right now OP’s mother is alone without any support and she did apologise for whatever had occurred between her and OP. Maybe its just me but i would like to know other people’s opinion about this too.
Also i dont mean OP should go back to her mother but just convey to her that she(OP) is there for her(mother) if she wants. After that if the mother doesnt respond then atleast she fulfilled her duty as a daughter and friend.
That is just sad.
Why do some biological parents put the stepparent/ other spouse on the top priority over anyone who been in there live? And why some stepparent/s like to destroy the relationship with their spouse’s child?
The last update, you reap what you sow
Well…The mom’s decision to choose her new family over OP certainly backfired quickly, didn’t it? Now she has nothing.
I find it sad that OP’s mom kept her out of important things like the new relationship and a whole divorce but OP thought of her mom first for the vacation and even brought along people who she doesn’t get along with for the mom’s sake
That's what happens when the parent sees their child as a prop in their life rather than a relationship worth maintaining.
Beggars can't be choosers
Oh, mom lost the family she prioritized over her own daughter? Sounds like karmic justice to me.
This story also brings me back to another one, where OP's sister kept forcing him to babysit her three kids during vacations, until he put his foot down and forced the whole family dynamic to change.
Got a link on this story? I don’t believe I watched/listened to it
@@TheHummingSound if I remember correctly the title is something like aita for paying for my own room
I remember that one! Yeah his parents always told him since they were paying for his room and driving him there then he had to babysit. When it came time to book rooms he told them he was booking his own room and driving himself and they freaked out bc they weren’t going to be able to hold that over his head. He was able to enjoy the vacation. He was genius for that!
@@frogbrain944 bless yyou! i found the reddit post
once you make the move, is suddenly a "you should have talked about it first", but before making the move she did tried to talk, twice!, and there was not talking done. always the same, i said that in these situation is better to be impulsive, in general, in life, im not saying that being impulsive always is a good thing, but if you try to talk and you get shut down, doing something unexpected is always a good move, not only because you will always have the initiative afterwards in whatever the issue is, but also because after a couple of these, people will actually listen to you when is talking time, because they know that you are going to act if you dont talk things out.
well it is a foreing country and you shouldn't do that but hey
Citizens defraud their fellow citizens when they go abroad. (or something like that originally its "hemşeri hemşeriyi gurbette dolandırırmış".)
So she paid for a vacation for HER and HER mom but they stuck HIS kid in HER room that SHE paid for…..
The mother and step-father are just horrible!
The fucking AUDACITY.
Yta
Sorry!
You should’ve said no once she asked about bringing her family, this would’ve avoided it, now they were moneyless and in a foreign country, that’s extremely scary. Yta but so is your mom
They were both assholes, op shouldn’t have agreed to bring the family as it was not her responsibility, but now that she did agree they would’ve been part of her responsibility, so leaving them knowing they won’t have the means to pay the hotel was indeed childish. But the moms also an asshole for expecting her daughter to bring her new family and for not standing up for her. And then the mom just really started fumbling after she left. Like really??? You’ve never learned to not bite the hand that feeds you?? Just apologize and get them kids to sleep in your room and you would’ve still been able to enjoy a nice vacation 💀
It was an appropriate response. It's the only way to go with entitled AH like this.
It takes a single phone call to get the credit card processor to open the card to international transactions. They could pay for themselves, they were just being shitty.
Exactly she shouldn’t have left like that. I would have a sit down and tell them since I’m paying step dad has no say and mom needs to back her up or you will leave. I’m sure they would have changed their tune,
Thank you! I see so many people saying what OP did was completely fine/right. OP agreed to take and pay for all of them (should’ve said no); she took on the responsibility of taking 4 other people to a foreign country, knowing they wouldn’t have the means to afford to go there on their own (reiterated multiple times how she could only afford this bc of her promotion and if money wasn’t an issue for mom/stepdad, they would’ve planned something before). Yes they were shitty and entitled but that would not have made me abandon 4 people in a foreign country with no means of returning home. Everyone (except the kids, not their fault) was an asshole in this story. Should’ve just ended the trip early or given them an ultimatum (I have my own room since I’m paying or I’m leaving). This does not excuse mom/step-dad at all but OP’s response to their disrespect could’ve been handled better.
@brandinicole1372 you've clearly never dealt with manipulative family members. When someone (like stepdad) shows you they aren't going to listen/respect a thing you say, there's no point in talking. You act. Bringing up the fact that she's paying for the vacation would've just sent AH step-dad and mommy dearest into an "I'm the victim" tantrum. Talking and communicating your feelings only works when the other person is willing to listen. Otherwise, you're just giving them more ammunition.
“I thought this could bond us all together.” Then you should’ve paid lady or make him pay for him and his kids. She doesn’t know these people! Definitely not well enough to pay for such a trip for them. And on top of that it’s for someone she already didn’t like! Op tried to gift a trip to her mom out of the goodness of her heart and mom basically gifted this to her husband. I have a feeling mom doesn’t do anything without the husband’s permission (ab*sive?) and knew he would’ve pressured her to make op pay for them anyways. He controls mom and for some reason thought he could control op too. I feel so bad for op bc she lost her only parent. It’s hard to feel bad for mom bc she made this happen. I will say good for her for leaving that ah. Maybe she thought she sacrificed a love life when op was a child. So she accepted any type of love. Unfortunately she was willing to sacrifice her relationship with her daughter. Now she really is alone.
This is kinda crazy, I know what OP’s mother did was wrong but seriously? He left her because of something as little as that?
Everything not have happened, you just have book one more room.
All over a hotel room...
Feels fake… pretty sure you have to prepay for a hotel so transferring to her mother wouldn’t mean they’d be kicked out, and she must of know what room she was getting as she was organising it? So why’d she get a room with multiple beds instead of just 1 for herself, would of made the mother not able to leave the kids with her
different country. but it depends rerally.
These are very possible. There are times where it would be cheaper if they reserve a room but have the hotel select the rooms. Depending on the hotel you can either pay before you stay or after. When I was in Japan I had the option to pay before or after. Wouldn't be surprised if you talked to the front you can change the credit card info.
There's some hotels that let you pay by day. That's how a lot of hotels in my area work. But it's kinda rare in big cities and tourist towns.
@@lumindoesvideosvery strange haha I haven’t seen anything like that in Athens before and I’ve been there a bunch lol
@@kpmine1but it still could be fake, no responsible human being would act like the husband, since ya know, he isn't five years old.
A fun fairytale. Not gonna get into banks, traveling and all that real life stuff.
I think this is OP's fantasy about what she wish she could do to her mom and new family. Her mom probably got married to someone she didn't like and because she's grown (probably 20s, she's too needy to be in her 30s), her mother shut down her input. She doesn't feel like family to the new people and has not been able to get her mother to understand. Now she has to watch her step siblings have not only a mom but a father too. She's hurt and can only fantasize her wishes. Fun story though.
I think you’re right on the head, I was thinking the same thing this doesn’t sound right especially how the dad was talking
Wow, OP, your ,on is out of line. It’s not your family and your stepdad is the worse. I would go low contact.
Good for OP
it's 2:06 am, ima go to sleep 🛌
Human always in the pursue of new things that dopamine's when the usual thing become stale they often sought a new risk and new experience that potentially may or may not damage an already solid relationship
Tldr something that cost you family ain't worth the risk unless you're investor in stock exchange
I dont get along with my stepmom. But we're nice to each other. Mostly. But its my dad who lives with her so there's something he likes about her. He been married to her longer than my mom, so who am i to but in.
I think sometimes we are a lot alike but thats why we bump heads so much.
50 mins early your not in the Wrong
So basically, it's a repost?
yes?
Actually y'all may not agree with me but this is Opie's fault because she should have put her foot down and said no.
You should have told your mother that look I want to take you on a vacation your family is not my family and if you don't agree with that then I'm going to just go ahead and go on my own simple as that there was no if ands and buts and it shouldn't have been.
😊 But her being the door mat that she is could not tell these people know and then get shocked when they throw the kids in the room with her and then she sit there and said she was for some reason you people up here that writes these stories every time you are shocked you act like you can't open your mouth.
I would have told them no your kids are not staying in my room I don't care what you say so and so because you aren't paying for anything and honestly I didn't even want you to be on this trip they're going to be in your room and I don't care about the fact that y'all need a vacation if that was the case and you shouldn't have brought your kids and sent them to your family.
But she couldn't do that because she was too weak and like I said she was a doormat
That's not how hotels work