Living with a narc is like being on a roller coaster! Up and down, one minute they love you and the next minute they cannot stand you! Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde..., also has to be the center of attention!
I never got any affection after the wedding. No conversation. Lousy in the bedroom. At work all the time. Raging. Watching only loud violent programs while he laid on the couch every night. I not only divorced the narcissist. I divorced the TV.
My parents got married in 1950, my my said at the wedding reception my moms mother missed the cake cutting ( she was in the restroom, she told my dad and he pulled her aside and cursed her out!!!!! That would’ve been it for me !!!!! But they stayed married 66 years , between the two of them they reeked havoc on my life with their words and tactics if I spoke on it they started a smear campaign on me, for decades till they passed to top it off both brothers were narcissist as well, I always felt like Marilyn in the Munsters!!!!!
My ex used to always tell me I can choose any woman I want but I chose you as if to say that I'm lucky to have him when in actuality he was lucky to have me
What's it like? Being in a relationship/marriage with your nemesis!!! They are ALWAYS in competition with you!!!! So WEIRD!!!! They'd rather go into BANKRUPTCY than watch you succeed WITH them... SMH 😂
"You are the only one that can calm me down" That one just hit me like a ton of bricks ! It is like these narcs are reading from a script word for word . That is truly creepy
My ex would intentionally stay late at work....when I would ask why he’s staying so late he would blame me for not supporting him and his business......he would pick fights with me to leave the house...told me I couldn’t befriend his friends because they were his friends.....he would intentionally keep in contact with old lovers...the list goes on!
TheBeautyWithin see he was blame shifting and gaslighting he was love bombing a new supply evidence by him picking a fight to leave and he was hovering old supply just in case sad but true
Dr. Carmen Bryant - Overcoming narcissist abuse very true! I later discovered he was talking to multiple exes from over 10 years ago!!! He was also trying to connect with a new supply all while I was pregnant!! Worse thing was....we worked in the same building!! Same profession!!! He ended the relationship with me, I moved out of the house...2 months later he hovered me!! I fell for it...played house.....only for the cycle to start again...but he made certain to tell me that we weren’t in a relationship. 4 months later, discarded again. This time for good. He’s tried to Hoover, but it stopped. He’s now currently love bombing a new victim (she’s 51), he’s 44 and I’m 34. I tried to warn her, (big mistake) but she laughed and remained silent. He blew up on me the next day for talking to her..MAJOR NARC injury!!!
TheBeautyWithin don’t worry he has t changed she’s next he won’t stop tigers dont change their stripes she got worse than you As for the discard that’s what hurts when you know you are good person but you may never have left because he knew you had hope now your healing can take place and good job for not falling for another Hoover he already had shown you from the past he dors it to all the exes
Yes they do like to keep you compartmentalized my ex wouldn’t bring me around his friends tried to isolate me from his family so I couldn’t get too close and expose to his parents what he was really like. You are right they keep their friends separate so they can use them for future supply. They love friends with benefits but wanna tell you we are not in a relationship while having multiple secret relationships all over town.
One of the most maddening parts of my relationship with my malignant narcissist/ex-wife, was the circular arguments. At the time I called them insane unresolvable loops. I would be trying to resolve some issue,(and there was always issues) using fact and honesty and truth. What I got in return was denial, gaslighting and outright lying. I used to feel like my head was spinning.
Jerry S hi Mr Jerry, yes they always divert your attention like a magician or an illusionist away from them you are speaking of oranges and at the end of the conversations you are arguing about your front teeth smh pointless conversations with them A lot of people end up apologizing and then are angry after they have time to think.....wait a minute I hope you are out and no contact Thank you so much for the response
I’m out and no contact for 9 months . Blocked everything. Was hoovered after the divorce year and a half ago. Then a second attempted Hoover and went no contact. Best thing I ever did. You have great videos Dr. Carmen!
Jerry S thank you so much Mr Jerry I am honored And I am happy for you I know you feel better and stress free Kings rule never allow a woman to dominate ever
I felt like I was losing my mind for years. I was told day after day I was dumb and then she start saying I am crazy I need medicine. For years I walked on egg shells so I could keep the peace. I worked kept the house clean I would make her breakfast and lunch every day plus pick out her clothes to wear. I didn't realize I was just being abused and I was a servant. Now I am in the process of trying to leave. I didn't realize how hard it is to leave. I am working on it plus I am in therapy to help my self heal.
Always right on point! You speak the truth. Ladies keep watching these videos they will help you and change your life for the better. Thank you for the info!!
They will humiliate you publicly to punish you when you didn’t do something you wanted you to do. They have outburst of anger and rage. They blame you for everything that isn’t your fault. They will gaslight you and make you feel as if you’re crazy. They want all of your attention and adoration.
My narcissist was so mean but enjoyed spending my money, broke all the time and could buy me cheap presents that I couldn't not even use and he would say you never like anything I get you that's why I don't buy staff for you even when I had not commented on his gift. There was no love bombing in my situation but he used my family values and knew I wanted a family. So all his conversation was about starting a family together and this attracted me to him. I moved in with him after 2yrs of off n on dating and fell pregnant. I broke the news to him which I thought would be the most exciting moment of our times but his response was quite cold, he just said ok, and then the devaluation started. I went through my pregnancy wondering what I had done wrong but only wish I knew what I know now, my dream of a perfect family were fading away though I had my beautiful 2 babies. I moved out and got myself a home and after some time he started hoovering me but I could only let him see the kids. After 3 attempts of hoovering in three years time I decided to give in for the sake of our kids and thought of my dream of a perfect family with dad mummy n the kids. It was such a special time, kids were happy and I had never seen him so happy before. With in less than 2 months he was back to his other supply and moved her in by the time I became aware. I had never felt this pain before, I could not sleep and the statement he gave me when I co fronted him were like a sharp knife going through my chest. After a month sleepless nights, I googled how to treat a broken heart and Google opened the RUclips clips, I had never had of the word narcissist and every clip I watched was a closure to what was going on and I couldn't believe that was the time my healing process began, I don't know what I would be now if I had not come across the information shared here, so I say thanks for educating us, you saved my life!! They had a wedding last November after scarding me in August. It was winter time and the reception was in the garden at his house no decorations no high table🤣🤣🤣🤣.
nantawo I am glad you are out and i am honored that the information has been helpful Do not be surprised because they do not change it will happen to her as well keep your head held high and go through this process which is painful but you will make it through thank you so much for subscribing to my channel
You are not alone. I married my narc because he was the first guy who said he wanted his wife to stay home with the kids. All I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. Turns out he did not want to support a family and really did not want children. I stayed as long as I could but finally filed for divorce when my third child was 5 months old. You can do this. Never look back! Only more hell awaits if you ever go back when this latest marriage is on the rocks. Run!!
Sleep deprivation, computer in bedroom and while you are sleeping (or trying to) will turn on bedroom light and just start printing papers on the copy machine. Also, will ignore or forget your birthday repeatedly. Not even mention it-as if it never happened. Also, wedding anniversaries. Forget thinking they are special, when I bought it up to mine for our 27th he said, “its that time of year again?” As if it was a tax deadline I was mentioning. Another is they future fake. They promise trips, concerts, you name it to get your excited reaction and then when the time gets there, with a sinking and sad realization you know it is not going to happen-they just wanted to get your excited response. Now when he days we are going to Europe for our 30th anniversary, I don’t even smile. We had our 30th last year-you guessed it-didn’t even buy a card, lol. But he told several people in our family about it. They will just lie, project and promise, but nothing changes. You learn from the beginning to set the bar very low. Very low. Like in the ditch. Then we learn to educate and love ourselves. That is when our lives and psyche get healed. It is up to us. Thank you Doctor for these videos.
Whoaaa! I experienced that. He keeps the tv on all night. Knowing that I do not like it. Sometimes when I would come back he would say he can compromise and he would do it by turning down the light but that was only the way to make me feel like he cared. Then the next day he would go back to the same old behavior.
Ephesians 6:12 ► For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Psalm 121:7 King James Bible The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul John 14:6 ► Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Psalm 18:2 ► The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold
living with a narcissist is like walking on eggshells one minute they're fine one minute they're not you don't know how they're going to react day to day you always have your card up.
Narcissist I was in situationship with would tell me how her previous primary supply would cater to her every need and keep their home clean. Watch out when they tell u about the previous supply, they want u to take on that character
I thought that's what that was because he was always talking about how he loves natural hair and how it looks up. Then when I finally saw the ex wife that's exactly how she would wear her hair.
My ex used to keep me up at night just talkin about a bunch of nothing and every time I try to go to sleep he would keep talkin and then when it was time to go to work in the morning I will always be late going to work because he will be still talking. He was doing it on purpose.
Waking me up at 2 in the morning threatening and starting fights on purpose and if I said Anything this person would slap or threaten to hit me. They are very violent
@@felicaphillips8190 Just to drain u so ur not focus . I been threw this before. Bad 2nd red flag. So when he deprived my sleep nd I became very angry nd discarded the narc . Then the rage nd violence came . This started at 1am until 6am .
They always try to take you out of your comfort zone. He works hard and makes more money than I do, but would have to spend it on material things and then complain that we were broke. It was like he literally felt that the bank account should never go down even after spending. Everything we had was due to him in his eyes. Even though I work it was always his money that got us everything unless I wanted something for myself then it was like well you work. We had joint bank accounts and he would spoil me but it was always with what HE wanted me to have. I could tell him Exactly what I wanted for Christmas and he would be like that’s stupid I’m going to get you this. Even if it was something I wasn’t interested in
He’d do stuff like call me and say he’d eaten a late lunch and wasn’t hungry then come home and get mad that I wasn’t cooking dinner??? Completely irrational!
I was always at fault. Accused of eating or using things that were almost empty and would not have touched it. Was always complimented for my beauty. He made me feel so beautiful and I was so perfect. (I was 8yrs older). Called horrible names when he was mad or if someone complimented me. Given pleasurable sex that was constantly about pleasing me. Everyone wanted him, females that he thought I would want as a friend were not good for me bc they flirted with him he would say. He was hated by everyone and he could not see or did not want to see why. He was always victim. No one was right, and he was. Everyone did him wrong. No one understands him. Was his reasoning Anger issues that he justified BC I know how he is, so I should have known I would get the hell beat out of me. Physical abusive. He accused my family of being racist against him and that's why he wasnt liked by them. Not bc of the bruises or lack of communication I had with them. He always talked about what he had done for me and throw it in my face such as feeding or buying clothes. (I hated accepting anything from him) He would have men compliment me then call me names for having this man in my face or around me, but it was brought on by him asking them if they thought I was beautiful. He would want to have a woman in our relationship, but the minute a woman was introduced to me by him with out warning and I would get embarrassed or angry he would turn it on me not being pleased and I was a confused female even though I NEVER agreed to this. When I told him I didnt want that I was selfish and insecure. But yet when I played his game he would get angry and I'd be a whore again. He was very loud and verbally abusive in public. He would be the reason ppl would want to call police, but he swore it was all my fault. He never fought a man that confronted him, but was so quick to punch me. I stayed bruised and he bit me several times through out my body. He made ppl think I'm the crazy one. Made comments about my mouth being too smart ass and me talking back the reason why I was hit. Jealous of me talking to my daughter. Hated my time to go to anyone else for help with things like my car or something. He wanted my car broke down it seemed like. Accused my daughter of having an attitude and she was never a disrespectful kid. Talked trash about his ex then lied about it. Always made me miserable and never allowed me to be happy. He was a great man at times. He did pick up after his self was very much about his looks and mine too. Made it known I was a beauty queen and me and him were always stepping out nice. Made comments about his ex being ugly and insecure and he wasnt able to feel like he did when both of them were out like he did and enjoyed when me and him were out in public. He made me miserable. I was always the beauty queen, his eye candy...but at the same time it was also the reason I was the whore to him. Even though I never slept around and was in only 2 serious relationships before him.
Praise THE LORD!! I am NOT crazy!! To hear you say “ Leaving you left wondering what just happened...am I the person with the issue?” I have been asking myself THIS very question???
Once you have had the experience of trying to have a relationship with a narcissist, you will fully understand why they can't keep a mate. They are a drag to be around.
This is an insightful peek into the manipulative techniques, attitudes or word play (I call them "narcisms") that ARE relationship red flags. Exactly what is a "red flag". A red flag denotes DANGER. The red flag may come in many forms. For example, you might say, "my spidey senses started tingling" when s/he said that. Or the red flag might come in the form of descriptive words to illustrate their dominant personality trait, such as, abusive, judgmental, rigid, dogmatic, inflexible, hateful, petty, envious, vindictive, cold-hearted, thief or snake. Or the red flag might come with an intense feeling of confusion, unease, mistrust, avoidance or walking on eggshells. It would be wisest to apply these red flags to everyone that is in our sphere of influence. Previously, I stated that a red flag denotes DANGER. Once a red flag or dangerous situation has been detected that means FULL STOP. No, there are no knives, guns or bombs visible that are more obvious signs of danger. This danger is more insidious, more destructive, more covert or more evil. YOU. That's what is in danger. You(r) sanity. You(r) children. You(r) physical health. You(r) finances. You(r) time. You(r) soul. You(r) home. You(r) humanity. You(r) mental health. You(r) sense of self. You(r) autonomy. You(r) emotional health. You(r) trust. You(r) reality. You(r) confidence. You(r) reputation. You(r) sexual health. You(r) life force. You(r) goals. You(r) voice. Yes! All this and more are at stake! This is the purpose of the red flag. It is warning you that you are in extreme danger of being harmed or being destroyed if you move forward. When danger is sensed an automatic FULL STOP needs to occur. Look at what is really at stake. The full stop gives you a chance to use your discernment. If you go against your instincts (the red flags) and move forward, do so with the knowledge that you have already decided to put yourself in the one down position. You've decided to lower your barriers, let in the marauding herds and hope that everything will be okay. Good luck with that!
My ex tried to pathologize the fact that I don't like horror movies. Anything to paint me as crazy to myself and others. A far stretch and unbelievable.
They flip the script, twist words, I never said this, never did that, they fake emotions, tell you are difficult even whrn the abandoned you during extremely stress times, tell you that your feelings and perceptions are wrong allot.
I have noticed that in my experience with narcissists both overt and covert, they say love you, rather than "I" love you, but it's superficial and has no substance. I didn't understand at the time, but it was to keep me hooked, thinking that they did love me. The control tactics with the overt were made clearly, like demanding, however with the covert, it seemed subtle almost with kindness. Another control tactic received from both overt and covert is the withholding of sex. That hurt...still dealing with the covert. I saw him with one of his supplies over the wknd. Where is my self worth. I used to be very active, loving, positive about life, and an abundance of happiness. I'm well educated, with a great occupation, and overcame adversity in my younger years. Where has she gone...I would love to find her 😔
P MP i think they say this just too hook us. Then once they do tbey’ll leave you hanging and wondering wth you’ve Doing wrong to them it’s like they discard you like trash like you meant nothing to them anyways!
You are so on point my husband treated me the way you explained...everything so so hurtful!!! Keep up the good work. You are great you summed my husband up to a T
Dr. Carmen , thank god for you. You literally, spoke exactly what happened with my sons father ( Christian licensed therapist)smh. Used his position and my trust for his education to convince me that I had borderline personality disorder and narcissism. He also used to start arguments before I had exams in nursing school, kept me up until 4 am on countless nights degrading me and beating me down mentally into apologizing . Even his parents state that he is mentally ill. He cursed me out on the night of my sisters funeral when he left the repays early to go smoke weed. I look back now and thank god I didn’t go insane.
Same thing happened to me. I dealt with him for 6 years. He said I was lucky to have someone like him and he was a ex convict...I got my college degree and he came and claimed he didn’t even see me walk across the stage. BS, My family was there and after it was over he became enraged as if he didn’t want them to go have dinner with us. He made it about him and what he wanted. Another time the mask came off. When I was trying to study, he would claim I wasn’t spending time with him. All to try to sabotage me. Pure evil. I tried to warn the new supply, she wouldn’t answer my phone calls or emails. A couple months later, she ended up dead. The best thing I ever did was walk away and not allow him to pull that Triangulation mess with me any longer. They all can have it. He is not worth it. He was always losing his job constantly. Never stable. He’s had 3 different jobs in the 6 years I knew him. Always some off and on and instability. He had good credit though.
Yes i was love bomb. but I didnt fall in love with him. every where i was going he wanted to go. it was ok five years in. after 2 months in he had a wedding ring and was ready to plan. then I saw he was still married in the court doc. after it seem like I bought it to his attention he began to change , lie seldom come around. then I found out he was engaged to another woman as well. he hated his ex wife. all he would do in argument was talk about how special his private parts were. nothing outside of that. but I look back and it was so many flags. he at first never had friends he was so under me. now all of a sudden all these women friends need his help.. Supplies.. but i walked away.
He hated his ex wife. Yeah, I guess so. Hmmmm somewhere in somebody's mind someplace, I'm probably considered the "ex wife". Any girl with him needs to wake up and recognize he's still hoovering me while in her presence. If he does have a new woman, all I have to say is "girlfriend, I will pray for you." But he probably doesn't because he's still f...kin with me, and I'm managing the shit out of his N ass :-)
Victim mentality. I have been in 3 narcissist relationships (unfortunately) finally figured out WTF was going on. Anyway, key thing with the them is they always operate and perceive from the place of victim. Someone is always doing something to them and when they retell any story, you will notice they never say what they done or they minimize it. They will tell you a story of they got arrested but will leave out the fact that they instigated a huge fight instead blaming their cousin for not defending them. And when you question their culpability in the situation, expect the side eye from them like you’ve just became the enemy. Easy way to cause a narcissistic injury is to say/imply that they are somehow responsible for a unfavorable situation in their life. Also, once they feel like they got you, they tend to show you how they are manipulating others in their life. This gives you as a victims sense that you are “in on it” with without realizing this a pure manipulation in itself. Also if don’t be vain enough to think they would be doing it to that person but not do something like that to you.
This is so funny enlightening but so very very true. They isolate you from friends and family and you never get to hang out with their friends like normal couples do. My ex Narc used to sit in the den after dinner in a recliner that I could see from the kitchen. He would make calls or receive calls and laugh when he saw me disturbed trying to see who he was talking to. It made him so happy if I was jealous of who he was possibly talking to. They will use triangulation all the time to keep you jealous broken and on your toes competing for their love when at the end of the day, the never loved you in the first place. So glad I am free from that horrible creature 🙏🏾
In the 33 yrs of my dealing with a naracist it has been as close to hell as one could ever imagine. Nothing is ever good enough. You can cook a meal fit for a king and there will always be something not right, the house will never be clean enough, you will never be pretty enough or dress correctly, talk correctly. Everything he or she does to you the will have absolutely no remorse for. At times , well most the times you'll wonder if they are even human. They dislike everyone and everything. You can only go the places they want to go or do the thing they want to do. They want you around the 24/7. But ask them one time to do or watch something you want, forget it. Oh yes, I have been touchured for 8 to 9 hours straight. Then turn around and tell you it was all your fault. Every single place we moved was because he has lost or was fired due to his cheating, stealing or running his mouth. Oh heaven forbid you love something, it will be taken from you or you will be totally degraded in front of the people that you enjoy. I have had friends that would refuse to come back due to him scaring them. Oh yes 100% they hate you not kissing their tail. Lie,cheat,steal is their calling cards. Yes he has bribed our kids to come live with him so I had to pay child support. One time I had it set for me to receive child support he actually quit his job 2 days before he was due insurance for the kids. Every time I left he threaten to take off with our kids. Now that the kids are older and gone he started hacking and cyber stalking everything I do online. Yes 100% drama king.yes, I am sick of this and yes off they go. They won't clean up after themselves. amen I don't know how please can't you do this for me . Nothing they say or do makes an ounce of sence. Everything they do is important and perfect. I stopped making friends cause he would sleep with them or scare them off. .every single person I talk to or like I am having sex with them .they do make you feel like you have lost you ever lasting mind. Trust me you have not. They definitely have though. And I truly is not our fault
I’m literally days from moving out of my exes house & his unpredictability has reached unprecedented levels. Despite terrorizing me non-stop for not adhering to his unreasonable expectations of what I should be doing to speed up this process, he keeps doing things to sabotage my efforts. Yesterday I woke up to realize he’d taken my car (which meant he had to order a new key at some point). When I contacted him to ask about it, he informed me he’d already sold it and threw away all my belongings that were in it. Not once did he even hint to anything indicating he had any interest in the car. It had been mine since the day he gave it to me as a gift. I’m trying very hard to let it go and use what happened to fuel my efforts to get out sooner. I could really use some insight and info about how to navigate through the tail end of this situation. I’m finding it difficult to find resources for dealing with a narcissist whose only tools left to terrorize me with are the practical ones. Although my eyes are wide open to what I’m up against, and I’m so close to being able to leave even if it means going to a shelter temporarily, he keeps finding ways to knock me off track. The worst part is that every time he does something to complicate my progress, he simultaneously amps up the pressure to move sooner. Now he’s even threatening to have people come take all of my daughters (they’re both with their dads for the summer) and my belongings to the dump which I absolutely don’t put past him. I know there’s no making sense of this. No reasonable person would sell the vehicle that was meant to move the possessions of the person then threaten to take everything that person owns to the dump when they no longer have means to move it. I’m struggling to maintain my sanity at this point. Especially with the constantly shifting ground.
Living with a narc is like living with mosquitoes, bedbugs, and gnats inside your crib....they become irritating af and eventually get under your skin! Shoo fly don't bother me!
It's been 8 months since I left. I was with this narcissist for 7yrs and he was 19 yrs older. I'm seeing a therapist learning to love myself and learning no contact.
Used my ethics, morality, and loyalty against me. When confronted it was all my fault. Would make jokes that weren't jokes at my expense, would criticize my cooking and literally grunt because I made something he didn't like. Constant confusion, blame, downplaying of bad behavior. Would double down on any lie. Lacked intimacy and would run to my close friends when we had a falling out to cut me off from support. Allow his friends and family to RIP me off of money and show me disrespect. The worst is that after all these years and my pointing it out he adapted and got better at flying under my radar and manipulating me further. I feel very bad for the next woman because it'll be worse for her.
Love your channel. I'm also a survivor of narcasistic abuse. My mother was one and all my partners since after. I'm now 32 and training to be a therapist myself as I have much wisdom since reflection. I have adhd so the word jumble and distracting from topic really caught me off guard. Awarness of self and situation is vital. You can't see the situation without stepping right back. Love and light
So proud that you're an actual mental health professional. You are adorable, amazing and awesome. Rock on Dr. Bryant. I know them f*ckers can't bamboozle you :). Be careful because I'm currently dealing with an insane person (psychopath Type 2). Since you have an understanding of N abuse you know they are capable of going VERY far (e.g. monitoring). I'm dealing with disordered neighbours who are very dangerous. I'm glad you've gone through it too so you know what it's like. Others did not take me seriously when I said I'm being monitored, but I'm telling the truth, so be careful! I'll check back every now and then (this helps TONS!). Thank you for telling it like it is and spitting fire :). The guy I'm dealing with is insane and extremely dangerous. I'm hoping for him to be found out soon. He ain't getting no praise for me. I'm sticking to the truth: he's a nobody and a LOSER who derives his sense of sense and self-worth from hurting and sadistically punishing others. He's pathologically envious, jealous and incredibly insecure too. Can't stand anything bad said about him. It's OK for him to have a negative opinion of others and even be vulgar and call people names and be extremely intolerant towards anyone he's jealous of and feels massively entitled to brainwash other people and dictate how they should be. Can't take no for an answer. Can't accept boundaries being set. He's such a big fecking loser. Sorry for using profanity, but it's fecking cathartic :p. And the funny thing is, this guy has hardly ever said a word to me. All of this is communicated to me through his abusive behaviour towards me (continuous boundary-breaking behaviour through repeated break-ins in my apartment and damaging my belongings) It's getting fecking old. No is no is no is no is no is no and still a thousand times no. I don't care if I lose everything. I'd rather lose everything than to say YES to a fecking loser who deludes himself into thinking he's all that when he's a parasite. I'd rather choose my own happiness instead of dealing with that mofo one more day. What a creep that guy (pitting everyone against each other and they just go along with it, cuz they're just as envious and just as domineering and just as under-evolved - FANTASTIC!). I'm SO sorry for those who live with them. I live with them in the same building. I'm so tired of this effin' crazy cycle and I'm going to put an end to it soon. Just have to be patient. Soon he'll be found out. Can't keep hiding this disorder forever. I know of a daughter who had to stab one to death because she knew he was a psychopath (not here, but it was a case in the US - they made a documentary about it). Her mother dated him and was mesmerized and didn't see it (or didn't want to see it), but her daughter felt there was something very off. It's sad she had to stab the guy to get him to back off. If it ever comes to that for me, I will do it. I've worked too damn hard to give up. Feck this. And yes, they know they lie, they know they misbehave, they know they act in criminal ways, they know they're abusive, they KNOW but expect you to be okay with it. They expect us to cover up for them and abuse us further when we don't. It's just fecking insane. Loyalty, my @ss. Stuff it, crazy mofo's. Sry, beloved. But so pissed off. I'm so tired of the insanity. Male priviledge indeed. Lazy indeed. Expect to be catered to indeed. Expect you to pretend nothing is wrong. Expect you to believe they're the most amazing human being in the world when in reality they're the ugliest person you can think of. No way in hell would I ever put my bank account together with a person like that - AHAHAHAHAHA! OVER MY DEAD BODY! And some of them take offense to that! They have the NERVE to take offense to it and SHAME you for it! Even though they know EXACTLY they're not worthy of it! Can't be trusted and then expect you to deny the truth of who they really are. *INSAAAANE*
OMG!!!!! The clutter!!!! YESSSSS!!!! My ex would leave her clothes ON THE FLOOR in our bedroom... Me being Mr. Fixit decided to help her organize her closet... Guess what? MORE clothes ended up on the floor as if she was silently punishing me for "suggesting" that she be neater.... WTF!?!?!
Mine was notorious for hiding my keys, my wallet, take my ID and bank card out the wallet, my purse, especially if i wanted to go out or somewhere without him. Make me go crazy looking for it knowing i had just placed it in a certain area, spot. They would miraculously reappear after I'd abandon my plans to leave and decide to stay home because ive missed my appt or gotten so frustrated i didnt want to leave...Smh smh..
Mine did that too, to sneak in house and see if I was on phone. Or talking to somebody. He would not open garage and always try to Come in so quietly without shutting door making noise. That’s how untrusting he was. It was super weird. Amongst a million other bizarre behaviors ..lol 🤣
Love your work. Thankyou so much. The most shocking thing I'd ever heard was when my therapist said, "Its not your fault." That is when I shattered. I realized how abused and brainwashed I'd been. My question is, how do I begin to forgive myself for enduring 25 years of marriage with this horrific abuse? I lost my entire sense of self. What do I do with the realization that my life was a lie?
12 minutes in...You have described the man I am married to almost to a T. Was allways comparing me to every other woman and what they would do if they had him. I was and still aint good enough Now he's on some Im perfect and righteous mess and I am the toxic one. Who ever he is grooming now, best of luck to them. This man is excellent at destroying your whole psyche and telling you you did it to yourself and even feels like he's a victim. Funny thing is I Got the worst of it when I complained to him about the way he makes me feel. See what I discovered is I was responsible for my own feelings but when I upset him I was also responsible for HIS. Classic manipulator...
5 лет назад
Tell him....then go get those women.....watch how he looks at you😂😂😂
Put on a front like he has money and things were taken care of...he took money on my credit card to pay for a hotel room for his new supply while utilities were about to be cut off. The nonsense...
You are right Dr. Bryant, someone will definitely know if they have been with a narcissist...... exactly as we grow older compliments are to be watched for, compliments can be a major red flag.... their mask will drop......
I remember saying to my best friend that I felt real fear for the first time in my life. I woke up afraid and stayed that way all day. I never had pronounced fear like that (that I can remember anyway).
I had a 3yr friendship with a musician. He moved here from Nigeria. I for some reason was not interested in him romanticly. Never went to his house. Next thing he was married on Facebook. Big Beautiful wedding. His wife was a doctor. Before a year was up he was back in the apartment complex. Never gave up his apartment. They had seperated in less than a year. He saw me at the store and i had an illusion of prosperity and a healthy relationship. In short it was a year of lovebombing narcissistic rage disappearing, stalking cheating. I went in confident , energetic, vibrant, healthy. After less than a year i was exhausted drained with high blood pressure and thyroid issues ,weight gain, PTSD and i isolated myself from everyone. I had no self esteem left. He devalued me and made me feel like a slave there to fulfill his needs cook, clean, give my money. He had money but would pretend to be broke. 2000 dollar keyboard he bought and i found Dillard bags everywhere. I was hoovered during the holidays and it was more blatant and worse going back. I left for good. I think he came back for revenge because i went no contact
Beauty For Ashes TV sounds like the average narcissist and the thing is that many woman are not even attracted to the narc and will say he is not even my type They have a specific type of seduction almost a sedating seductive pull Are you out of the relationship I hope you are and yes they destroy who you once were the stress on you can cause your immune system to beak down or weaken I really hope you are free and healing from the horror
@@overcomingnarcissistabuse YES. I went no contact in September. I went back Thanksgiving with promises of A Real Relationship and the "I Love You". I fell for it hook, line and sinker. After he brow beat me about spilled milk on the carpet, openly talked to other women on the telephone and refused to take me home, i walked home in the cold and havent been back
Beauty For Ashes TV stay away you have too much value a fool doesn’t know what to do with a diamond it is dangerous for you to go back Go through the process which involves pain but when you get to the other side it will have been well worth your health, recovery and well being Remember you are a Queen don’t ever forget that
my ex of 18 years can’t keep a job. he blames everyone but himself. he got a vehicle that got repossessed 3 times because he stopped making payments but to him it’s not his fault. i kicked him out of my house because i know he’s cheating on me but he denied to the bitter end. instead of finding a job, he found a new supply instead. i can’t believe i spent that many years with him. i was hopeful that he’ll change but i was wrong.
After he discarded me after 8 years then did a smear campaign by sending letter to my family & friends tried to tarnish my name. The narc failed though. My family & friends never fed into the lies
It's been a while since I checked in Dr Bryant, but I've been devastated and depressed, as you know I filed charges but bc they couldn't find anywhere where I said "no" bc shaking your head and crying Doesnt count in a small town where all the low life's are friends, they dropped the charges but kept the restraining order but with that being said I have no one to mediate between the two of us in regards to my health which was ordered by the judge for him to pay my insurance etc.. I'm devastated totally depressed
Be careful for the good looking ones men or women. If you treat them like a child the less you will care which will be good to help control your emotions
What if they don't say a whole lot, but have this look. It can cut right through you and make you feel like you are walking on eggshells. Nothing I ever did was good enough to make him happy. I found out about nine woman. Is this narcissism or just an asshole?
He was so vicious with his words so one day, I told him all I could picture when I looked at him was tying is veins on a pair of knitting needles and knitting his veins into a blanket to be hung on the wall of a battered women's shelter.
They will never meet you halfway on anything and leave to carry the all baggage and theirs, if you die they want have a single care in the world trust your gut
And they will drain you sometimes until your physically sick and make you feel that your nothing . And bring you down . To make them selfs feel better about them self .
Been married for 17 years, my husband is a narcissist. I put up with intense verbal and emotional abuse, there has been physical but stopped after I called the police. We have a 17 and 14 year old. A year ago I discovered narcissism and have researched it I obsessively ever since. Recently I had that aha moment which was probably an aha few weeks. There are 3 things, 1 - I cant leave yet we have kids, he has parental rights etc..I need to tread carefully and look after my family. 2 - I am repeatedly astounded by the fact the everything that proceeds from his mouth is fiction. 3 - my question is how do I deal with this intense frustration I feel everytime I look at him or listen to him?? I am working on an exit strategy...but the frustration and anger is something else
he humiliated me in public, he used to wait when there is a lot of women looking at us and then he kissed me then spite on the floor to show people that something was wrong with me, few minutes after in the car he used to tell me that he didn't remember what happened and that I love to create drama. He did me that several time. 1 year of an exhausting relationship
My Narcissist mother never worked.. ever! Had 9 kids. He was the youngest. His parents didnt even like eachother. Slept in sep beds. She son husband the last two boys and when I came in the pic.. I was clear that I wanted to be a stay home mother JUST until my girls were in school. He would use that to blame me for the finances. And I did more and more for him. Packed his lunches.. ironed his uniforms. Cooked. Took care of the kids w out ever asking for help. When I did go to work.. I began to build my business as to NEVER need him for anything. Long story short.. they expect you to raise the kids.. still.. and work and do everything. Its entitlement
I just to say I love your real hair..sooo cute...My ex narc never lived with me however, when I met him he was living with his girlfriend who I knew nothing about .I didn't find out until 8months into the situationship...Thats what I call it because it wasn't real.My ex narc has a drug and alcohol problem according to his girlfriend when we spoke he use to ghost her a lot I don't know if he went out to get high or if he was with me or other supply.She told me he couldn't keep a job he never gave her money for the bills....Certified bum im soooo glad to be narc free
My mom was married to narc that's a paster. He tried to distray my mother and I relationship! I'm her only child. When she would come to visit me she was locked out the house. He didn't succeed in coming between us.
The my soon to be ex Narc husband was able to get in so quickly was because he was a familiar face, we went to middle school together. Therefore, I let my guard down yet there were truly red flags on the onset. He cheated on me 10 days after I let him move in with me and I still married his snaky a@!s... I am wife #5. It’s been 2 months today of my discard. I dealt with Domestic violence and but him in jail twice for it. This 3rd time he left ( the discard). 6 days later, my niece friend was sitting on his lap and he was hugged up in pictures on FB!! Unbelievable 😡
The Moment I advised him I could no longer do his truck company with him due to him yelling at me everyday and telling me I wasn't enough and that I wasn't unambitious towards his truck company the total disrespect came even harder. He had a women (It's always women around him, never men) call and "train" me on being a better dispatch operator. I found out she was his previous supply who's name he changed so I wouldn't now it was her. I found out he was having sex with her to keep her compliant to helping him run his company. At this time I started pulling away from him trying to find my own job which really upset him. its still took me 4 more years to fully break away from him... its hard
My N was very calm, didn't raise his voice or behave aggressively at all till he thought the hostage plan he had for me was irreversible. He even had a psychologist friend come to my home to talk me into "keeping the family together". Absolutely no apology from the N at all. Replaced an apology with behavior he strategized to evoke sentimentality in me; which he intended to use to evoke a desire to reconcile within me. Whew. But my teen experience with a teen partner who I now believe has N defenses, he also was "outwardly" calm but he smoldered in jealousy and anger and would exact conceiled punishment and sabotaging as he covertly expressed that. As you described he speaks about work and former friends as though everyone is mistreating him, no accountability and can speak about himself non stop. He hadn't seen me for 20 yrs and had mostly spoke about himself didn't ask much about my life. Constantly dreaming about what he's going to do in life, but never even after 20 years got any closer to actualizing the dream. And I was a fixer, help and fix. But after 20 yrs I saw it was a hook and an invitation to try to fix, reassure, support and encourage him to follow a dream he never intends to fulfill. Wow....even as a teen and college student leaving family domestic violence, I was the one with the job, apartment, used car, college courses, friends, birthday and new years parties. He would stay with me in my home sheltered from the conflict in his own. A friend of his visited my place and in my home asked me who wore the pants in the relationship. And my sweet, gentlemanly costumed ex didn't say a word, didn't correct him. I told his friend "you know what, you need to get your shit and get the f--k out." I was scjooling in the day working at night and paying the rent, utilities etc.... in the home his friend was attempting to devalue me in. And like you said, he only responded with "well, well, well". Wow. I can see clearly now the rain has gone. I can see all obstacles in my way....gonna be a bright bright bright sunshiny future for me 🌞! Keep spreading your healing wisdom!! Yesss!
OMG this is so true my husband the narc jas this grand entitled personality the food part cooking and cleaning he dont do shit and ecspect everything to be done for him. Wow this is so frustrating i domt know how much more i can take
Definitely hit a lot of key issues with my ex narcissistic, his new supply think she found the love of her life and hates me. I’m moving far away to set some boundaries and keep from getting in trouble. All the anger I have for that man I be done hurt that woman because she is unaware and unstable herself.
I had a head-injury at 17yrs old... My dad took full advantage of situation... I took his supply away... Ive barely seen him in 19yrs... Quite sad really... But my life is soo much happier... He took liberties when i wasnt very well after my head injury... & i never forgot abt it... Im now,, a smarter wiser man... Got my confidence back👍.. Be strong💪
I have been married to my narc for 11 years today. HE was so good at withholding affection cause he didn't get his way that I realized years had passed without ANY intimacy, although he was a master at it the two years we dated. He knows I know what he is, but he doesn't know that I'm leaving him.
I dated a female narc for 5 years. And everything said is true. Woman are no different than men but I felt the woman I dated was a lot more sneaky about it. She’s definitely used triangulation and manipulation on me and it worked . I hated her ex and believed everything I changed into an aggressive person . She’d have tantrums like a toddler throw herself on the floor scream as loud as she can saying things like why don’t you love me!? All I want is for you to care! I want to die ! She’d bang her head on the walls it’s was just insane. She actually even did that in public at my workplace in front of my boss. Another in a therapist office . The therapist didn’t even know what the hell to do with her. Towards the end I knew she was cheating but was so covert about it I couldn’t prove it. Later I caught her in our house . She married the new supply right after. This bitch was just the craziest thing I’ve even encountered in my life EVER. The rage the tantrums the pathological cheating lying gaslighting triangulation projection playing the victim or hero it’s all true. I believe she even let my dog out when he ran away on purpose and found him I didn’t give her the reaction she wanted when she brought him to me she got angry and left . Just so crazy that my mind couldn’t even process what was happening . I now am going to therapy for everything that’s happened and how much she brainwashed me and isolated me.
Living with a narc is like being on a roller coaster! Up and down, one minute they love you and the next minute they cannot stand you! Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde..., also has to be the center of attention!
Loria Littleton o
I never got any affection after the wedding. No conversation. Lousy in the bedroom. At work all the time. Raging. Watching only loud violent programs while he laid on the couch every night. I not only divorced the narcissist. I divorced the TV.
You have just described my time living with the ex narc. It was like living with a child in an older mans body.
Wow, I don’t even like watching tv because of that relationship
My parents got married in 1950, my my said at the wedding reception my moms mother missed the cake cutting ( she was in the restroom, she told my dad and he pulled her aside and cursed her out!!!!! That would’ve been it for me !!!!! But they stayed married 66 years , between the two of them they reeked havoc on my life with their words and tactics if I spoke on it they started a smear campaign on me, for decades till they passed to top it off both brothers were narcissist as well, I always felt like Marilyn in the Munsters!!!!!
I've never heard anything more accurate. Down to the sleep deprivation.
Frema B yes ma’am very common will keep talking and won’t stop
They also take credit for your work, they mirror any and everything that you do and say. Sick twisted individuals.
My ex used to always tell me I can choose any woman I want but I chose you as if to say that I'm lucky to have him when in actuality he was lucky to have me
Exactly what my narc would do.. Start an argument to get out of the house to go see his supply.. I would cry myself to sleep so hurtful
I went through the same thing.i wasn't sure but, then I start to sense this. But I didn't know what it was NPD
Thats when you show them the door. Lol
What's it like? Being in a relationship/marriage with your nemesis!!! They are ALWAYS in competition with you!!!! So WEIRD!!!! They'd rather go into BANKRUPTCY than watch you succeed WITH them... SMH 😂
😮😮😮😅😅
My narc discarded me after 18 yrs of marriage. Divorce final 2 weeks ago👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Dee Sweatt I hope you celebrated yourself 💙
Yay!! You are free, congratulations. I can't wait for the day I can say "My divorce is final!" Wish I would have never ever met this tyrant.
Hope you had a party. Enjoy your beautiful life. Wish you a happy healthy life well done 😊
Open champagne 🍾
Amen !!!
"You are the only one that can calm me down" That one just hit me like a ton of bricks ! It is like these narcs are reading from a script word for word . That is truly creepy
Yes, same here … I thought it was a compliment then…. 😂 now I know
My ex would intentionally stay late at work....when I would ask why he’s staying so late he would blame me for not supporting him and his business......he would pick fights with me to leave the house...told me I couldn’t befriend his friends because they were his friends.....he would intentionally keep in contact with old lovers...the list goes on!
TheBeautyWithin see he was blame shifting and gaslighting he was love bombing a new supply evidence by him picking a fight to leave and he was hovering old supply just in case sad but true
Dr. Carmen Bryant - Overcoming narcissist abuse very true! I later discovered he was talking to multiple exes from over 10 years ago!!! He was also trying to connect with a new supply all while I was pregnant!! Worse thing was....we worked in the same building!! Same profession!!! He ended the relationship with me, I moved out of the house...2 months later he hovered me!! I fell for it...played house.....only for the cycle to start again...but he made certain to tell me that we weren’t in a relationship. 4 months later, discarded again. This time for good. He’s tried to Hoover, but it stopped. He’s now currently love bombing a new victim (she’s 51), he’s 44 and I’m 34. I tried to warn her, (big mistake) but she laughed and remained silent. He blew up on me the next day for talking to her..MAJOR NARC injury!!!
TheBeautyWithin don’t worry he has t changed she’s next he won’t stop tigers dont change their stripes she got worse than you
As for the discard that’s what hurts when you know you are good person but you may never have left because he knew you had hope now your healing can take place and good job for not falling for another Hoover he already had shown you from the past he dors it to all the exes
Yes they do like to keep you compartmentalized my ex wouldn’t bring me around his friends tried to isolate me from his family so I couldn’t get too close and expose to his parents what he was really like. You are right they keep their friends separate so they can use them for future supply. They love friends with benefits but wanna tell you we are not in a relationship while having multiple secret relationships all over town.
@@shebutter3195 I am glad you realized that, you have so much more worth than to be hidden. Go on a shine and be great!
One of the most maddening parts of my relationship with my malignant narcissist/ex-wife, was the circular arguments. At the time I called them insane unresolvable loops. I would be trying to resolve some issue,(and there was always issues) using fact and honesty and truth. What I got in return was denial, gaslighting and outright lying. I used to feel like my head was spinning.
Jerry S hi Mr Jerry, yes they always divert your attention like a magician or an illusionist away from them you are speaking of oranges and at the end of the conversations you are arguing about your front teeth smh pointless conversations with them
A lot of people end up apologizing and then are angry after they have time to think.....wait a minute
I hope you are out and no contact
Thank you so much for the response
I’m out and no contact for 9 months . Blocked everything. Was hoovered after the divorce year and a half ago. Then a second attempted Hoover and went no contact. Best thing I ever did. You have great videos Dr. Carmen!
Jerry S thank you so much Mr Jerry I am honored
And I am happy for you
I know you feel better and stress free
Kings rule never allow a woman to dominate ever
I felt like I was losing my mind for years. I was told day after day
I was dumb and then she start saying I am crazy I need medicine. For years I walked on egg shells so I could keep the peace. I worked kept the house clean I would make her breakfast and lunch every day plus pick out her clothes to wear. I didn't realize I was just being abused and I was a servant. Now I am in the process of trying to leave. I didn't realize how hard it is to leave. I am working on it plus I am in therapy to help my self heal.
🎯
They would make up lies to start arguments then abused u for it. Oh and they’ll isolate you from your love ones.
Pure Hell that's what it's like 😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠
Exactly
You nailed it
They do not respect your property. Low and behold they purchase anything it is required that you care for and respect theirs....
Always right on point! You speak the truth. Ladies keep watching these videos they will help you and change your life for the better. Thank you for the info!!
M P thank you beautiful Queen 👑
these videos really have helped me feel less alone.
Spot on Dr. Bryant! At my young age of 49, been there done that. Some shit you just got to laugh at. And please keep it movin. Be stronger that.
Best thing to know is whatever they accuse you of is pretty close to what they are up to
They will humiliate you publicly to punish you when you didn’t do something you wanted you to do. They have outburst of anger and rage. They blame you for everything that isn’t your fault. They will gaslight you and make you feel as if you’re crazy. They want all of your attention and adoration.
My narcissist was so mean but enjoyed spending my money, broke all the time and could buy me cheap presents that I couldn't not even use and he would say you never like anything I get you that's why I don't buy staff for you even when I had not commented on his gift.
There was no love bombing in my situation but he used my family values and knew I wanted a family. So all his conversation was about starting a family together and this attracted me to him. I moved in with him after 2yrs of off n on dating and fell pregnant. I broke the news to him which I thought would be the most exciting moment of our times but his response was quite cold, he just said ok, and then the devaluation started. I went through my pregnancy wondering what I had done wrong but only wish I knew what I know now, my dream of a perfect family were fading away though I had my beautiful 2 babies. I moved out and got myself a home and after some time he started hoovering me but I could only let him see the kids. After 3 attempts of hoovering in three years time I decided to give in for the sake of our kids and thought of my dream of a perfect family with dad mummy n the kids. It was such a special time, kids were happy and I had never seen him so happy before. With in less than 2 months he was back to his other supply and moved her in by the time I became aware. I had never felt this pain before, I could not sleep and the statement he gave me when I co fronted him were like a sharp knife going through my chest.
After a month sleepless nights, I googled how to treat a broken heart and Google opened the RUclips clips, I had never had of the word narcissist and every clip I watched was a closure to what was going on and I couldn't believe that was the time my healing process began, I don't know what I would be now if I had not come across the information shared here, so I say thanks for educating us, you saved my life!!
They had a wedding last November after scarding me in August. It was winter time and the reception was in the garden at his house no decorations no high table🤣🤣🤣🤣.
nantawo I am glad you are out and i am honored that the information has been helpful
Do not be surprised because they do not change it will happen to her as well keep your head held high and go through this process which is painful but you will make it through thank you so much for subscribing to my channel
You are not alone. I married my narc because he was the first guy who said he wanted his wife to stay home with the kids. All I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. Turns out he did not want to support a family and really did not want children. I stayed as long as I could but finally filed for divorce when my third child was 5 months old. You can do this. Never look back! Only more hell awaits if you ever go back when this latest marriage is on the rocks. Run!!
Sleep deprivation, computer in bedroom and while you are sleeping (or trying to) will turn on bedroom light and just start printing papers on the copy machine. Also, will ignore or forget your birthday repeatedly. Not even mention it-as if it never happened. Also, wedding anniversaries. Forget thinking they are special, when I bought it up to mine for our 27th he said, “its that time of year again?” As if it was a tax deadline I was mentioning. Another is they future fake. They promise trips, concerts, you name it to get your excited reaction and then when the time gets there, with a sinking and sad realization you know it is not going to happen-they just wanted to get your excited response. Now when he days we are going to Europe for our 30th anniversary, I don’t even smile. We had our 30th last year-you guessed it-didn’t even buy a card, lol. But he told several people in our family about it. They will just lie, project and promise, but nothing changes. You learn from the beginning to set the bar very low. Very low. Like in the ditch. Then we learn to educate and love ourselves. That is when our lives and psyche get healed. It is up to us. Thank you Doctor for these videos.
So true!
Whoaaa! I experienced that. He keeps the tv on all night. Knowing that I do not like it. Sometimes when I would come back he would say he can compromise and he would do it by turning down the light but that was only the way to make me feel like he cared. Then the next day he would go back to the same old behavior.
Ephesians 6:12 ►
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Psalm 121:7
King James Bible
The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul
John 14:6 ►
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Psalm 18:2 ►
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold
2 Timothy 3:1-5 amplified version
He was always saying how lucky I am to be with him and other women would die to be with a man like him that I’m going to be sorry when he’s gone .
👀😳 so are you are beginning to see your value?
living with a narcissist is like walking on eggshells one minute they're fine one minute they're not you don't know how they're going to react day to day you always have your card up.
This is true... dealt with this with my mother too and now with this soon to be ex nar husband. They will never take accountability.
Living with them is hell on earth. They will abuse you in every aspect, financially, physically, mentally, emotionally. Drain the life out of you.
He would always say "It's boring, are you bored?"🤦♀️🤦♀️boy go!!!
Narcissist I was in situationship with would tell me how her previous primary supply would cater to her every need and keep their home clean. Watch out when they tell u about the previous supply, they want u to take on that character
I thought that's what that was because he was always talking about how he loves natural hair and how it looks up. Then when I finally saw the ex wife that's exactly how she would wear her hair.
My ex used to keep me up at night just talkin about a bunch of nothing and every time I try to go to sleep he would keep talkin and then when it was time to go to work in the morning I will always be late going to work because he will be still talking. He was doing it on purpose.
Waking me up at 2 in the morning threatening and starting fights on purpose and if I said Anything this person would slap or threaten to hit me. They are very violent
I remember getting woke up at 2am, when he finally let me go to sleep it was time for work....smf
@@felicaphillips8190 Just to drain u so ur not focus . I been threw this before. Bad 2nd red flag. So when he deprived my sleep nd I became very angry nd discarded the narc . Then the rage nd violence came . This started at 1am until 6am .
They always try to take you out of your comfort zone. He works hard and makes more money than I do, but would have to spend it on material things and then complain that we were broke. It was like he literally felt that the bank account should never go down even after spending. Everything we had was due to him in his eyes. Even though I work it was always his money that got us everything unless I wanted something for myself then it was like well you work. We had joint bank accounts and he would spoil me but it was always with what HE wanted me to have. I could tell him Exactly what I wanted for Christmas and he would be like that’s stupid I’m going to get you this. Even if it was something I wasn’t interested in
He’d do stuff like call me and say he’d eaten a late lunch and wasn’t hungry then come home and get mad that I wasn’t cooking dinner??? Completely irrational!
That would be the irrational mins if a narc
I was always at fault.
Accused of eating or using things that were almost empty and would not have touched it.
Was always complimented for my beauty. He made me feel so beautiful and I was so perfect. (I was 8yrs older).
Called horrible names when he was mad or if someone complimented me.
Given pleasurable sex that was constantly about pleasing me.
Everyone wanted him, females that he thought I would want as a friend were not good for me bc they flirted with him he would say.
He was hated by everyone and he could not see or did not want to see why.
He was always victim. No one was right, and he was. Everyone did him wrong.
No one understands him. Was his reasoning
Anger issues that he justified BC I know how he is, so I should have known I would get the hell beat out of me.
Physical abusive.
He accused my family of being racist against him and that's why he wasnt liked by them. Not bc of the bruises or lack of communication I had with them.
He always talked about what he had done for me and throw it in my face such as feeding or buying clothes.
(I hated accepting anything from him)
He would have men compliment me then call me names for having this man in my face or around me, but it was brought on by him asking them if they thought I was beautiful.
He would want to have a woman in our relationship, but the minute a woman was introduced to me by him with out warning and I would get embarrassed or angry he would turn it on me not being pleased and I was a confused female even though I NEVER agreed to this. When I told him I didnt want that I was selfish and insecure. But yet when I played his game he would get angry and I'd be a whore again.
He was very loud and verbally abusive in public.
He would be the reason ppl would want to call police, but he swore it was all my fault.
He never fought a man that confronted him, but was so quick to punch me. I stayed bruised and he bit me several times through out my body.
He made ppl think I'm the crazy one.
Made comments about my mouth being too smart ass and me talking back the reason why I was hit.
Jealous of me talking to my daughter.
Hated my time to go to anyone else for help with things like my car or something. He wanted my car broke down it seemed like.
Accused my daughter of having an attitude and she was never a disrespectful kid.
Talked trash about his ex then lied about it.
Always made me miserable and never allowed me to be happy. He was a great man at times. He did pick up after his self was very much about his looks and mine too. Made it known I was a beauty queen and me and him were always stepping out nice. Made comments about his ex being ugly and insecure and he wasnt able to feel like he did when both of them were out like he did and enjoyed when me and him were out in public. He made me miserable. I was always the beauty queen, his eye candy...but at the same time it was also the reason I was the whore to him. Even though I never slept around and was in only 2 serious relationships before him.
Everything you saying is a 💯 true. This sounds just like my ex that's crazy. Just like him. He was very lazy.
Praise THE LORD!! I am NOT crazy!! To hear you say “ Leaving you left wondering what just happened...am I the person with the issue?” I have been asking myself THIS very question???
Once you have had the experience of trying to have a relationship with a narcissist, you will fully understand why they can't keep a mate. They are a drag to be around.
This is an insightful peek into the manipulative techniques, attitudes or word play (I call them "narcisms") that ARE relationship red flags. Exactly what is a "red flag". A red flag denotes DANGER. The red flag may come in many forms. For example, you might say, "my spidey senses started tingling" when s/he said that. Or the red flag might come in the form of descriptive words to illustrate their dominant personality trait, such as, abusive, judgmental, rigid, dogmatic, inflexible, hateful, petty, envious, vindictive, cold-hearted, thief or snake. Or the red flag might come with an intense feeling of confusion, unease, mistrust, avoidance or walking on eggshells.
It would be wisest to apply these red flags to everyone that is in our sphere of influence. Previously, I stated that a red flag denotes DANGER. Once a red flag or dangerous situation has been detected that means FULL STOP.
No, there are no knives, guns or bombs visible that are more obvious signs of danger. This danger is more insidious, more destructive, more covert or more evil.
YOU. That's what is in danger.
You(r) sanity. You(r) children. You(r) physical health. You(r) finances. You(r) time. You(r) soul. You(r) home. You(r) humanity. You(r) mental health. You(r) sense of self. You(r) autonomy. You(r) emotional health. You(r) trust. You(r) reality. You(r) confidence. You(r) reputation. You(r) sexual health. You(r) life force. You(r) goals. You(r) voice.
Yes! All this and more are at stake! This is the purpose of the red flag. It is warning you that you are in extreme danger of being harmed or being destroyed if you move forward. When danger is sensed an automatic FULL STOP needs to occur. Look at what is really at stake. The full stop gives you a chance to use your discernment. If you go against your instincts (the red flags) and move forward, do so with the knowledge that you have already decided to put yourself in the one down position. You've decided to lower your barriers, let in the marauding herds and hope that everything will be okay. Good luck with that!
Everything that you said from this video is exactly that of my experience with my ex husband.
I would to add one, is that ' really cheap'.
Ikeu Boehlke sound like a narc
My ex tried to pathologize the fact that I don't like horror movies. Anything to paint me as crazy to myself and others. A far stretch and unbelievable.
They flip the script, twist words, I never said this, never did that, they fake emotions, tell you are difficult even whrn the abandoned you during extremely stress times, tell you that your feelings and perceptions are wrong allot.
I have noticed that in my experience with narcissists both overt and covert, they say love you, rather than "I" love you, but it's superficial and has no substance. I didn't understand at the time, but it was to keep me hooked, thinking that they did love me. The control tactics with the overt were made clearly, like demanding, however with the covert, it seemed subtle almost with kindness. Another control tactic received from both overt and covert is the withholding of sex. That hurt...still dealing with the covert. I saw him with one of his supplies over the wknd. Where is my self worth. I used to be very active, loving, positive about life, and an abundance of happiness. I'm well educated, with a great occupation, and overcame adversity in my younger years. Where has she gone...I would love to find her 😔
Priscilla Pena She Said Love Ya Not Love You or I Love You
@@carloloturco1659 I'm sorry you had to go through that
P MP i think they say this just too hook us. Then once they do tbey’ll leave you hanging and wondering wth you’ve Doing wrong to them it’s like they discard you like trash like you meant nothing to them anyways!
WOW!!!!! My ex says that to our kids and it makes my skin crawl!!!!
Wow 👀
You are so on point my husband treated me the way you explained...everything so so hurtful!!! Keep up the good work. You are great you summed my husband up to a T
Dr. Carmen , thank god for you. You literally, spoke exactly what happened with my sons father ( Christian licensed therapist)smh. Used his position and my trust for his education to convince me that I had borderline personality disorder and narcissism. He also used to start arguments before I had exams in nursing school, kept me up until 4 am on countless nights degrading me and beating me down mentally into apologizing . Even his parents state that he is mentally ill. He cursed me out on the night of my sisters funeral when he left the repays early to go smoke weed. I look back now and thank god I didn’t go insane.
Same thing happened to me. I dealt with him for 6 years. He said I was lucky to have someone like him and he was a ex convict...I got my college degree and he came and claimed he didn’t even see me walk across the stage. BS, My family was there and after it was over he became enraged as if he didn’t want them to go have dinner with us. He made it about him and what he wanted. Another time the mask came off. When I was trying to study, he would claim I wasn’t spending time with him. All to try to sabotage me. Pure evil. I tried to warn the new supply, she wouldn’t answer my phone calls or emails. A couple months later, she ended up dead. The best thing I ever did was walk away and not allow him to pull that Triangulation mess with me any longer. They all can have it. He is not worth it. He was always losing his job constantly. Never stable. He’s had 3 different jobs in the 6 years I knew him. Always some off and on and instability. He had good credit though.
Miss Universe wow thank God that wasn’t not your story I’m glad you got away
Yes i was love bomb. but I didnt fall in love with him. every where i was going he wanted to go. it was ok five years in. after 2 months in he had a wedding ring and was ready to plan. then I saw he was still married in the court doc. after it seem like I bought it to his attention he began to change , lie seldom come around. then I found out he was engaged to another woman as well. he hated his ex wife. all he would do in argument was talk about how special his private parts were. nothing outside of that. but I look back and it was so many flags. he at first never had friends he was so under me. now all of a sudden all these women friends need his help.. Supplies.. but i walked away.
I am glad and I am glad that you weren't too far in the relationship that you ignored what you suspected or saw. Go ahead Queen, keep walking!!
@@overcomingnarcissistabuse sad but i gave 8 years
Gracefully broken you are now 8 years wiser Queen some education you dont get in formal schools
He hated his ex wife.
Yeah, I guess so.
Hmmmm somewhere in somebody's mind someplace, I'm probably considered the "ex wife". Any girl with him needs to wake up and recognize he's still hoovering me while in her presence.
If he does have a new woman, all I have to say is "girlfriend, I will pray for you." But he probably doesn't because he's still f...kin with me, and I'm managing the shit out of his N ass :-)
Victim mentality. I have been in 3 narcissist relationships (unfortunately) finally figured out WTF was going on. Anyway, key thing with the them is they always operate and perceive from the place of victim. Someone is always doing something to them and when they retell any story, you will notice they never say what they done or they minimize it. They will tell you a story of they got arrested but will leave out the fact that they instigated a huge fight instead blaming their cousin for not defending them. And when you question their culpability in the situation, expect the side eye from them like you’ve just became the enemy. Easy way to cause a narcissistic injury is to say/imply that they are somehow responsible for a unfavorable situation in their life.
Also, once they feel like they got you, they tend to show you how they are manipulating others in their life. This gives you as a victims sense that you are “in on it” with without realizing this a pure manipulation in itself. Also if don’t be vain enough to think they would be doing it to that person but not do something like that to you.
This is so funny enlightening but so very very true. They isolate you from friends and family and you never get to hang out with their friends like normal couples do. My ex Narc used to sit in the den after dinner in a recliner that I could see from the kitchen. He would make calls or receive calls and laugh when he saw me disturbed trying to see who he was talking to. It made him so happy if I was jealous of who he was possibly talking to. They will use triangulation all the time to keep you jealous broken and on your toes competing for their love when at the end of the day, the never loved you in the first place. So glad I am free from that horrible creature 🙏🏾
In the 33 yrs of my dealing with a naracist it has been as close to hell as one could ever imagine. Nothing is ever good enough. You can cook a meal fit for a king and there will always be something not right, the house will never be clean enough, you will never be pretty enough or dress correctly, talk correctly. Everything he or she does to you the will have absolutely no remorse for. At times , well most the times you'll wonder if they are even human. They dislike everyone and everything. You can only go the places they want to go or do the thing they want to do. They want you around the 24/7. But ask them one time to do or watch something you want, forget it. Oh yes, I have been touchured for 8 to 9 hours straight. Then turn around and tell you it was all your fault. Every single place we moved was because he has lost or was fired due to his cheating, stealing or running his mouth. Oh heaven forbid you love something, it will be taken from you or you will be totally degraded in front of the people that you enjoy. I have had friends that would refuse to come back due to him scaring them. Oh yes 100% they hate you not kissing their tail. Lie,cheat,steal is their calling cards. Yes he has bribed our kids to come live with him so I had to pay child support. One time I had it set for me to receive child support he actually quit his job 2 days before he was due insurance for the kids. Every time I left he threaten to take off with our kids. Now that the kids are older and gone he started hacking and cyber stalking everything I do online. Yes 100% drama king.yes, I am sick of this and yes off they go. They won't clean up after themselves. amen I don't know how please can't you do this for me . Nothing they say or do makes an ounce of sence. Everything they do is important and perfect. I stopped making friends cause he would sleep with them or scare them off. .every single person I talk to or like I am having sex with them .they do make you feel like you have lost you ever lasting mind. Trust me you have not. They definitely have though. And I truly is not our fault
I’m literally days from moving out of my exes house & his unpredictability has reached unprecedented levels. Despite terrorizing me non-stop for not adhering to his unreasonable expectations of what I should be doing to speed up this process, he keeps doing things to sabotage my efforts. Yesterday I woke up to realize he’d taken my car (which meant he had to order a new key at some point). When I contacted him to ask about it, he informed me he’d already sold it and threw away all my belongings that were in it. Not once did he even hint to anything indicating he had any interest in the car. It had been mine since the day he gave it to me as a gift. I’m trying very hard to let it go and use what happened to fuel my efforts to get out sooner. I could really use some insight and info about how to navigate through the tail end of this situation. I’m finding it difficult to find resources for dealing with a narcissist whose only tools left to terrorize me with are the practical ones. Although my eyes are wide open to what I’m up against, and I’m so close to being able to leave even if it means going to a shelter temporarily, he keeps finding ways to knock me off track. The worst part is that every time he does something to complicate my progress, he simultaneously amps up the pressure to move sooner. Now he’s even threatening to have people come take all of my daughters (they’re both with their dads for the summer) and my belongings to the dump which I absolutely don’t put past him. I know there’s no making sense of this. No reasonable person would sell the vehicle that was meant to move the possessions of the person then threaten to take everything that person owns to the dump when they no longer have means to move it. I’m struggling to maintain my sanity at this point. Especially with the constantly shifting ground.
I hope you were able to get out🖤
I was sleep deprived 3 to 4 times of the week for 2 years....didnt know what was going on until the break up when i start reading about the narccist
Living with a narc is like living with mosquitoes, bedbugs, and gnats inside your crib....they become irritating af and eventually get under your skin! Shoo fly don't bother me!
Narcissists put you through trials and tribulations. A covert war of attrition.
Everything she is saying is so so real
You are so spot on...this is absolute the real narc...this weekend I deal with that after 40 years...luv you😍👌👍
It's been 8 months since I left. I was with this narcissist for 7yrs and he was 19 yrs older. I'm seeing a therapist learning to love myself and learning no contact.
Used my ethics, morality, and loyalty against me. When confronted it was all my fault. Would make jokes that weren't jokes at my expense, would criticize my cooking and literally grunt because I made something he didn't like. Constant confusion, blame, downplaying of bad behavior. Would double down on any lie. Lacked intimacy and would run to my close friends when we had a falling out to cut me off from support. Allow his friends and family to RIP me off of money and show me disrespect. The worst is that after all these years and my pointing it out he adapted and got better at flying under my radar and manipulating me further. I feel very bad for the next woman because it'll be worse for her.
In church one day I was fanning myself with a paper, he said I hate when people do that!
Love your channel. I'm also a survivor of narcasistic abuse. My mother was one and all my partners since after. I'm now 32 and training to be a therapist myself as I have much wisdom since reflection. I have adhd so the word jumble and distracting from topic really caught me off guard. Awarness of self and situation is vital. You can't see the situation without stepping right back. Love and light
So proud that you're an actual mental health professional. You are adorable, amazing and awesome. Rock on Dr. Bryant. I know them f*ckers can't bamboozle you :). Be careful because I'm currently dealing with an insane person (psychopath Type 2). Since you have an understanding of N abuse you know they are capable of going VERY far (e.g. monitoring). I'm dealing with disordered neighbours who are very dangerous.
I'm glad you've gone through it too so you know what it's like. Others did not take me seriously when I said I'm being monitored, but I'm telling the truth, so be careful! I'll check back every now and then (this helps TONS!).
Thank you for telling it like it is and spitting fire :).
The guy I'm dealing with is insane and extremely dangerous. I'm hoping for him to be found out soon. He ain't getting no praise for me. I'm sticking to the truth: he's a nobody and a LOSER who derives his sense of sense and self-worth from hurting and sadistically punishing others. He's pathologically envious, jealous and incredibly insecure too. Can't stand anything bad said about him. It's OK for him to have a negative opinion of others and even be vulgar and call people names and be extremely intolerant towards anyone he's jealous of and feels massively entitled to brainwash other people and dictate how they should be. Can't take no for an answer. Can't accept boundaries being set. He's such a big fecking loser. Sorry for using profanity, but it's fecking cathartic :p.
And the funny thing is, this guy has hardly ever said a word to me. All of this is communicated to me through his abusive behaviour towards me (continuous boundary-breaking behaviour through repeated break-ins in my apartment and damaging my belongings) It's getting fecking old.
No is no is no is no is no is no and still a thousand times no. I don't care if I lose everything. I'd rather lose everything than to say YES to a fecking loser who deludes himself into thinking he's all that when he's a parasite. I'd rather choose my own happiness instead of dealing with that mofo one more day. What a creep that guy (pitting everyone against each other and they just go along with it, cuz they're just as envious and just as domineering and just as under-evolved - FANTASTIC!).
I'm SO sorry for those who live with them. I live with them in the same building. I'm so tired of this effin' crazy cycle and I'm going to put an end to it soon. Just have to be patient. Soon he'll be found out. Can't keep hiding this disorder forever.
I know of a daughter who had to stab one to death because she knew he was a psychopath (not here, but it was a case in the US - they made a documentary about it). Her mother dated him and was mesmerized and didn't see it (or didn't want to see it), but her daughter felt there was something very off. It's sad she had to stab the guy to get him to back off.
If it ever comes to that for me, I will do it. I've worked too damn hard to give up. Feck this.
And yes, they know they lie, they know they misbehave, they know they act in criminal ways, they know they're abusive, they KNOW but expect you to be okay with it. They expect us to cover up for them and abuse us further when we don't. It's just fecking insane.
Loyalty, my @ss. Stuff it, crazy mofo's. Sry, beloved. But so pissed off. I'm so tired of the insanity.
Male priviledge indeed.
Lazy indeed.
Expect to be catered to indeed.
Expect you to pretend nothing is wrong.
Expect you to believe they're the most amazing human being in the world when in reality they're the ugliest person you can think of.
No way in hell would I ever put my bank account together with a person like that - AHAHAHAHAHA! OVER MY DEAD BODY! And some of them take offense to that! They have the NERVE to take offense to it and SHAME you for it! Even though they know EXACTLY they're not worthy of it! Can't be trusted and then expect you to deny the truth of who they really are. *INSAAAANE*
OMG!!!!! The clutter!!!! YESSSSS!!!! My ex would leave her clothes ON THE FLOOR in our bedroom... Me being Mr. Fixit decided to help her organize her closet... Guess what? MORE clothes ended up on the floor as if she was silently punishing me for "suggesting" that she be neater.... WTF!?!?!
"You have to be equally relentless.... leave!"
😁😂😂😂👍🏾
I KNOW that's right!
Mine was notorious for hiding my keys, my wallet, take my ID and bank card out the wallet, my purse, especially if i wanted to go out or somewhere without him. Make me go crazy looking for it knowing i had just placed it in a certain area, spot. They would miraculously reappear after I'd abandon my plans to leave and decide to stay home because ive missed my appt or gotten so frustrated i didnt want to leave...Smh smh..
He would always sneak up on me. Urked my nerves because I was always so jumpy everytime he came into the room.
Mine did that too, to sneak in house and see if I was on phone. Or talking to somebody. He would not open garage and always try to Come in so quietly without shutting door making noise. That’s how untrusting he was. It was super weird. Amongst a million other bizarre behaviors ..lol 🤣
Love your work. Thankyou so much. The most shocking thing I'd ever heard was when my therapist said, "Its not your fault." That is when I shattered. I realized how abused and brainwashed I'd been. My question is, how do I begin to forgive myself for enduring 25 years of marriage with this horrific abuse? I lost my entire sense of self. What do I do with the realization that my life was a lie?
I really like all your videos Dr. Carmen!!!They are so uplifting and very enlightening.
Wow. It's all textbook behavior. Sounds so familiar.
12 minutes in...You have described the man I am married to almost to a T. Was allways comparing me to every other woman and what they would do if they had him. I was and still aint good enough Now he's on some Im perfect and righteous mess and I am the toxic one. Who ever he is grooming now, best of luck to them. This man is excellent at destroying your whole psyche and telling you you did it to yourself and even feels like he's a victim. Funny thing is I Got the worst of it when I complained to him about the way he makes me feel. See what I discovered is I was responsible for my own feelings but when I upset him I was also responsible for HIS. Classic manipulator...
Tell him....then go get those women.....watch how he looks at you😂😂😂
Put on a front like he has money and things were taken care of...he took money on my credit card to pay for a hotel room for his new supply while utilities were about to be cut off. The nonsense...
You are right Dr. Bryant, someone will definitely know if they have been with a narcissist...... exactly as we grow older compliments are to be watched for, compliments can be a major red flag.... their mask will drop......
I remember saying to my best friend that I felt real fear for the first time in my life. I woke up afraid and stayed that way all day. I never had pronounced fear like that (that I can remember anyway).
I had a 3yr friendship with a musician. He moved here from Nigeria. I for some reason was not interested in him romanticly. Never went to his house. Next thing he was married on Facebook. Big Beautiful wedding. His wife was a doctor. Before a year was up he was back in the apartment complex. Never gave up his apartment.
They had seperated in less than a year. He saw me at the store and i had an illusion of prosperity and a healthy relationship. In short it was a year of lovebombing narcissistic rage disappearing, stalking cheating. I went in confident , energetic, vibrant, healthy. After less than a year i was exhausted drained with high blood pressure and thyroid issues ,weight gain, PTSD and i isolated myself from everyone. I had no self esteem left. He devalued me and made me feel like a slave there to fulfill his needs cook, clean, give my money. He had money but would pretend to be broke. 2000 dollar keyboard he bought and i found Dillard bags everywhere. I was hoovered during the holidays and it was more blatant and worse going back. I left for good. I think he came back for revenge because i went no contact
Beauty For Ashes TV sounds like the average narcissist and the thing is that many woman are not even attracted to the narc and will say he is not even my type
They have a specific type of seduction almost a sedating seductive pull
Are you out of the relationship
I hope you are and yes they destroy who you once were the stress on you can cause your immune system to beak down or weaken I really hope you are free and healing from the horror
@@overcomingnarcissistabuse YES. I went no contact in September. I went back Thanksgiving with promises of A Real Relationship and the "I Love You". I fell for it hook, line and sinker. After he brow beat me about spilled milk on the carpet, openly talked to other women on the telephone and refused to take me home, i walked home in the cold and havent been back
Beauty For Ashes TV stay away you have too much value a fool doesn’t know what to do with a diamond it is dangerous for you to go back
Go through the process which involves pain but when you get to the other side it will have been well worth your health, recovery and well being
Remember you are a Queen don’t ever forget that
@@overcomingnarcissistabuse Yes. Thank You fot the encouraging words....
Beauty For Ashes TV always!!! 👑
my ex of 18 years can’t keep a job. he blames everyone but himself. he got a vehicle that got repossessed 3 times because he stopped making payments but to him it’s not his fault. i kicked him out of my house because i know he’s cheating on me but he denied to the bitter end. instead of finding a job, he found a new supply instead. i can’t believe i spent that many years with him. i was hopeful that he’ll change but i was wrong.
After he discarded me after 8 years then did a smear campaign by sending letter to my family & friends tried to tarnish my name. The narc failed though. My family & friends never fed into the lies
gldngurl4364 excellent I’m glad
You do not have to respond real friends and family know your character
It's been a while since I checked in Dr Bryant, but I've been devastated and depressed, as you know I filed charges but bc they couldn't find anywhere where I said "no" bc shaking your head and crying Doesnt count in a small town where all the low life's are friends, they dropped the charges but kept the restraining order but with that being said I have no one to mediate between the two of us in regards to my health which was ordered by the judge for him to pay my insurance etc.. I'm devastated totally depressed
Great explanation! Everything is true!
Be careful for the good looking ones men or women. If you treat them like a child the less you will care which will be good to help control your emotions
What if they don't say a whole lot, but have this look. It can cut right through you and make you feel like you are walking on eggshells. Nothing I ever did was good enough to make him happy. I found out about nine woman. Is this narcissism or just an asshole?
You are so on point!
This video is soooo on point!
My ex use to say that I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.
He was so vicious with his words so one day, I told him all I could picture when I looked at him was tying is veins on a pair of knitting needles and knitting his veins into a blanket to be hung on the wall of a battered women's shelter.
Its a living nightmare 😡
I've been married to one for 36 yrs. I would love to help in any way possible
They will never meet you halfway on anything and leave to carry the all baggage and theirs, if you die they want have a single care in the world trust your gut
I just went through this but I walked away don’t go back.
And they will drain you sometimes until your physically sick and make you feel that your nothing . And bring you down . To make them selfs feel better about them self .
SPOT ON!
Been married for 17 years, my husband is a narcissist. I put up with intense verbal and emotional abuse, there has been physical but stopped after I called the police. We have a 17 and 14 year old. A year ago I discovered narcissism and have researched it I obsessively ever since. Recently I had that aha moment which was probably an aha few weeks. There are 3 things, 1 - I cant leave yet we have kids, he has parental rights etc..I need to tread carefully and look after my family. 2 - I am repeatedly astounded by the fact the everything that proceeds from his mouth is fiction. 3 - my question is how do I deal with this intense frustration I feel everytime I look at him or listen to him?? I am working on an exit strategy...but the frustration and anger is something else
he humiliated me in public, he used to wait when there is a lot of women looking at us and then he kissed me then spite on the floor to show people that something was wrong with me, few minutes after in the car he used to tell me that he didn't remember what happened and that I love to create drama. He did me that several time. 1 year of an exhausting relationship
My Narcissist mother never worked.. ever! Had 9 kids. He was the youngest. His parents didnt even like eachother. Slept in sep beds. She son husband the last two boys and when I came in the pic.. I was clear that I wanted to be a stay home mother JUST until my girls were in school. He would use that to blame me for the finances. And I did more and more for him. Packed his lunches.. ironed his uniforms. Cooked. Took care of the kids w out ever asking for help. When I did go to work.. I began to build my business as to NEVER need him for anything. Long story short.. they expect you to raise the kids.. still.. and work and do everything. Its entitlement
I just to say I love your real hair..sooo cute...My ex narc never lived with me however, when I met him he was living with his girlfriend who I knew nothing about .I didn't find out until 8months into the situationship...Thats what I call it because it wasn't real.My ex narc has a drug and alcohol problem according to his girlfriend when we spoke he use to ghost her a lot I don't know if he went out to get high or if he was with me or other supply.She told me he couldn't keep a job he never gave her money for the bills....Certified bum im soooo glad to be narc free
My mom was married to narc that's a paster. He tried to distray my mother and I relationship! I'm her only child. When she would come to visit me she was locked out the house. He didn't succeed in coming between us.
The my soon to be ex Narc husband was able to get in so quickly was because he was a familiar face, we went to middle school together. Therefore, I let my guard down yet there were truly red flags on the onset. He cheated on me 10 days after I let him move in with me and I still married his snaky a@!s... I am wife #5. It’s been 2 months today of my discard. I dealt with Domestic violence and but him in jail twice for it. This 3rd time he left ( the discard). 6 days later, my niece friend was sitting on his lap and he was hugged up in pictures on FB!! Unbelievable 😡
The Moment I advised him I could no longer do his truck company with him due to him yelling at me everyday and telling me I wasn't enough and that I wasn't unambitious towards his truck company the total disrespect came even harder. He had a women (It's always women around him, never men) call and "train" me on being a better dispatch operator. I found out she was his previous supply who's name he changed so I wouldn't now it was her. I found out he was having sex with her to keep her compliant to helping him run his company. At this time I started pulling away from him trying to find my own job which really upset him. its still took me 4 more years to fully break away from him... its hard
My N was very calm, didn't raise his voice or behave aggressively at all till he thought the hostage plan he had for me was irreversible. He even had a psychologist friend come to my home to talk me into "keeping the family together". Absolutely no apology from the N at all. Replaced an apology with behavior he strategized to evoke sentimentality in me; which he intended to use to evoke a desire to reconcile within me. Whew.
But my teen experience with a teen partner who I now believe has N defenses, he also was "outwardly" calm but he smoldered in jealousy and anger and would exact conceiled punishment and sabotaging as he covertly expressed that.
As you described he speaks about work and former friends as though everyone is mistreating him, no accountability and can speak about himself non stop. He hadn't seen me for 20 yrs and had mostly spoke about himself didn't ask much about my life. Constantly dreaming about what he's going to do in life, but never even after 20 years got any closer to actualizing the dream. And I was a fixer, help and fix. But after 20 yrs I saw it was a hook and an invitation to try to fix, reassure, support and encourage him to follow a dream he never intends to fulfill. Wow....even as a teen and college student leaving family domestic violence, I was the one with the job, apartment, used car, college courses, friends, birthday and new years parties. He would stay with me in my home sheltered from the conflict in his own. A friend of his visited my place and in my home asked me who wore the pants in the relationship. And my sweet, gentlemanly costumed ex didn't say a word, didn't correct him. I told his friend "you know what, you need to get your shit and get the f--k out." I was scjooling in the day working at night and paying the rent, utilities etc.... in the home his friend was attempting to devalue me in. And like you said, he only responded with "well, well, well". Wow. I can see clearly now the rain has gone. I can see all obstacles in my way....gonna be a bright bright bright sunshiny future for me 🌞! Keep spreading your healing wisdom!! Yesss!
OMG this is so true my husband the narc jas this grand entitled personality the food part cooking and cleaning he dont do shit and ecspect everything to be done for him. Wow this is so frustrating i domt know how much more i can take
Genaia Taylor see if you can find a counselor that understand narcissist abuse and a do advocate and talk to them if you are thinking of leaving
16 years of hell thank you so much for the videos it has helped me out so much
Definitely hit a lot of key issues with my ex narcissistic, his new supply think she found the love of her life and hates me. I’m moving far away to set some boundaries and keep from getting in trouble. All the anger I have for that man I be done hurt that woman because she is unaware and unstable herself.
I had a head-injury at 17yrs old... My dad took full advantage of situation... I took his supply away... Ive barely seen him in 19yrs... Quite sad really... But my life is soo much happier... He took liberties when i wasnt very well after my head injury... & i never forgot abt it... Im now,, a smarter wiser man... Got my confidence back👍.. Be strong💪
We are with you King! 🤚🏽
I have been married to my narc for 11 years today. HE was so good at withholding affection cause he didn't get his way that I realized years had passed without ANY intimacy, although he was a master at it the two years we dated. He knows I know what he is, but he doesn't know that I'm leaving him.
All si true always create caos aroud to make you feel insaine
I dated a female narc for 5 years. And everything said is true. Woman are no different than men but I felt the woman I dated was a lot more sneaky about it. She’s definitely used triangulation and manipulation on me and it worked . I hated her ex and believed everything I changed into an aggressive person . She’d have tantrums like a toddler throw herself on the floor scream as loud as she can saying things like why don’t you love me!? All I want is for you to care! I want to die ! She’d bang her head on the walls it’s was just insane. She actually even did that in public at my workplace in front of my boss. Another in a therapist office . The therapist didn’t even know what the hell to do with her. Towards the end I knew she was cheating but was so covert about it I couldn’t prove it. Later I caught her in our house . She married the new supply right after. This bitch was just the craziest thing I’ve even encountered in my life EVER. The rage the tantrums the pathological cheating lying gaslighting triangulation projection playing the victim or hero it’s all true. I believe she even let my dog out when he ran away on purpose and found him I didn’t give her the reaction she wanted when she brought him to me she got angry and left . Just so crazy that my mind couldn’t even process what was happening . I now am going to therapy for everything that’s happened and how much she brainwashed me and isolated me.