Also please be reminded that while people can be a "bad friend" to you, it doesn't mean they are a bad person in general. Maybe you just don't fit with each other. That person can be a good friend to other person too.
@@zendrox.von-laixer9192 I'm not sure but a group like that exist somewhere. You can research. It's most likely telegram group chats or Facebook groups. But one thing is for certain. These groups exist.
Don't make the huge mistake I made in the past, brothers and sisters, don't waste precious years with loser friends, or hang out with people who dont want the best for you. A real friend is happy for your happiness and sad for your loss, it's instinct. If not, it's not friendship, Just ghosts who talks and is in your presence. A friend wants the best for you and you feel the same for your friend. Don't fear time on your own. Read good books, take long walks, start meditating, yoga, do creative things and realize that life is short. Don't you ever dare to waste it on people who are mean to you, make you feel embarrassed, or put you in situations that could ruin your life or give you memories that will haunt you. Don't. Love life, treat your soul and integrity with care, affection and respect.
Don't mistake the "fool". The Buddha said, “one who possesses three qualities should be known as a fool. What three? Bodily misconduct, verbal misconduct, and mental misconduct... One who possesses three qualities should be known as a wise person. What three? Bodily good conduct, verbal good conduct, and mental good conduct.” - AN 3.2 Lakkhaṇasutta
A truly wise person is someone who knows that there's no really such thing as being wise. At best we have deep knowledge in some aspects, and not so deep in others. One can be wise in artistic ways, but a fool when it comes to have social skills.
I dont think this video is about being wise or a fool in that regard. To my understanding, its about being friends with a jerk (the fool) - a person who is not compassionate and friendly. Either way, you are correct in your assesment. I do great when I paint (not saying my art is great, but I feel great when I do paint) but im terrible at socializing (I have social anxiety). Spot on
No, no one can be wise in artistic ways, that liguisticaly wrong. Try to learn the difference between knowledge and wisdome before trying to tell others whats what 😅😅😅😅
To the *incredible person* that's seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.
Yes , it is quite true that bad friends don't understand the feeling of other friends and always show themselves superior . I have experienced these situations whatever is described in the video. Bad friends can use us and at the time when we're in need then they move aside . Also they take advantage of us and don't tell before others that we helped them .They give credit to themselves instead us .. So beware of these kind of friends.. 😊 💕🌹Thank you for making such a useful videos..💕🌹
"Though only for a moment a discerning person associates with a wise man, quickly he comprehends the Truth, just as the tongue tastes the flavor of the soup."
328. If for company you find a wise and prudent friend who leads a good life, you should, overcoming all impediments, and keep his company joyously and mindfully. 329. If for company you cannot find a wise and prudent friend who leads a good life, then, like a king who leaves behind a conquered kingdom, or a lone elephant in the elephant forest, you should go your own way alone. 330. Better it is to live alone, there is no fellowship with a fool. Live alone and do no evil; be carefree like an elephant in the elephant forest. ☆ Dhammapada -- translated by Ācharya Buddharakkhita
Fools are the ones that only think about themselves. Good friends in my experience are the ones that you can be yourself and they can be be themselves. Freedom and love 💕
"If one strings a piece of putrid fish On a blade of kusa grass, The grass will smell putrid too; The same with one who follows the fool. If one wraps frankincense In an ordinary kind of leaf, The leaf will soon smell sweet too; The same with one who follows the wise." -- Buddha ( Buddha Vacana / Ven. S. Dhammika )
"Who you are with will determine what you are able to know and your ability to follow what you know-to follow the greater Knowledge that God has given you to guide you, to protect you and to lead you to your greater accomplishments in life. One misaligned or misappropriated relationship can stand in the way of this discovery and expression. This you must realize. You must take your relationships very seriously. You cannot afford to be with people who are not going where you are going and who cannot respond to the power of Knowledge within themselves. Face the disappointment that this realization may bring about. But face the truth, for the truth is very clear in these matters even though people are very confused." A quote from *Love and Relationships* - a teaching from *The New Message from God*
Thank you so much, I really really loved this video. Perfectly well put. In words I've been trying to express for so long. Now all I have to do is copy and fwd to all the fools I befriended.
What you are doing, through these videos. It's beyond the reach of words to explain.....🙏 A big thankyou from india. I feel Gratitude from my deepest heart, for the knowledge you provide, the efforts you put in and most importantly...the passion that you have for life. 🙏 Thankyou. 🌷
So many people need to hear this message, especially in polarized communities and those only seeking confirmation biases! I appreciate your point of view and am greatful for you bringing insight upon blind minds-- including mine..
I watched this and I am glad you touched on us possibly being the bad friend. I have 2 friends who I love very much. Unfortunately we have grown apart. We do not have the same views anymore. And Ive even said I’ve become a bad friend to them. So it was nice to run into this video.
While watching this video, I sense that the otherwise is true, "Avoid being a fool, be a wise friend". Started from 3:29, "If I don't take a natural interest in my friend's worldview, in how they see the world, especially when it contradicts with my own, it's unlikely the friendship will work. If I don't take an interest in understanding them, what can I learn from or teach them? I won't learn from them, because I don't have a genuine interest in exploring their knowledge. But If I don't explore their knowledge, I won't understand their point of view. And if I don't understand their point of view, how will I correct it?" A friend seemingly obsessed with their own thoughts has concern which we might find it hard to discern. When their thoughts contradict our value, we almost instantly reject their idea,. We gravitate to accept surface level of understanding and avoid seeking a deeper knowledge. The contradicting value hits our core so hard that it blocks our willingness to explore more and consequently, negatively label them as someone who is "obsessed with their own thought".
Yup this is a surprising lesson for me, and it's tough to unravel. It's wild how maintaining self-truths can go so far as to deny the outright deny that it's you may, in reality, be the fool to others. The self-view that you are a good friend who has interests in exploring others is a very slippery slope. How do you act mutually with a friend that you envy for their lifestyle? Perhaps your lifestyle does not match up with theirs, to such a degree, that you cannot fathom the idea of trying to do what they do? Is your worldview so contradictory that you have decidedly no interest in their worldview? Who is the fool when the friendship fades away?
@Butzacooky Value is like a double-edged sword. It uses similarities among members as a glue that hold them. Yet, the glue is also an oil toward non-members. The extreme example would be Nazi. But, the glue doesn't have to be that way. When contradictory value confront us, we discern it with our own google translate that lack development. We transcribe the value with a buggy code we frame ourselves without input from other perspectives. However, from that buggy system, we learn (hopefully). More insights we cultivated as we mature enrich our translation. By the improved version, we can calm our guts and harness the bug. Study finds that although we may share different backgrounds (and thus value), one similarity is good enough to form a bond. For example, the rich and the poor guy can be friends toward a common cause (say they are both cosplay lovers). Their stark wealth difference are irrelevant because cosplay is their shared identity. Although the rich may hate the poor because different value, they are one when it comes to cosplay. You are great that you have just discovered a slippery bug in your believe system, now its time to use this insight for the next cycle of developing a better translation. When it comes to learning, being a fool is expected.
"Just as a fire that starts in a house made of reeds or grass burns down even a house with a peaked roof, plastered inside and out, draft-free, with bolts fastened and shutters closed; so too, ... the fool brings peril, the wise person brings no peril; the fool brings calamity, the wise person brings no calamity; the fool brings misfortune, the wise person brings no misfortune. There is no peril from the wise person; there is no calamity from the wise person; there is no misfortune from the wise person. Therefore, bhikkhus, you should train yourselves thus: ‘We will avoid the three qualities possessing which one is known as a fool, and we will undertake and practice the three qualities possessing which one is known as a wise person.’ It is in this way that you should train yourselves.” - the Buddha AN3.1 Bhayasutta
I've known a lot of people in my life and the conclusion is this : Always come back to this quote 5:15 ... as you evolve and experience new things in life, always go back and ask yourself this question and come up with a conclusion.
I'm trying to get out of a toxic friendship with my friend . Actually he is my friend since kindergarten and it's been like 11 years of our friendship but he is going on the wrong track , he is becoming an addict of alcohol and drugs and is pursuing me too to do those things . I have decided to end the friendship but it's just so hard for me ......
My friend of 10 years I'm also in similar situations he has become toxic without even knowing it and he has developed arrogance in himself and I don't even like his company anymore he likes to play video games whole day and I don't even like it But just to please him I play online games with him just to make him happy. I have been struggling with maintaing a healthy boundary
That cycle of " Don't care, so they-Dont listen, so they- Don't know your story because they-(Go to start), is happening to people from bureaucratic institutions also. Which can allow the oppression of some, even with social approval. That could be the thin edge of the authoritarian wedge if we , umm, don't care. Gross injustice is like a tar-baby that can pull Buddhists back into samsara if we are not careful, however, with all the love in my heart, I will speak the truth about very naughty people who have already caused me violence for speaking about the violence. "He hit me, he beat me! The hatred of such a one will never cease". Very true. I don't hate anyone. I wish everybody well because that would make for a better world. There is no provision for aversion of any kind when practicing Metta, free of hate and as wide as the universe. The deeper my practice becomes, the more the world, (the people around me) seems to push back and accuse me of terrible violence and threats of violence, even to the extent of issuing court declarations to cease and desist, said violence. I am amazed at the reaction of my community. Is this Mara playing stupid games? Lol. ✋☸️☮️💟
Thank you for this point of view ! But I'm not totally convinced. In certain cases, I believe that being isolated can lead us to become more self-absobed and less genuenly interested in others, because we might think : "others are fools, I can't trust them, so I better trust my own points of view". And also because if it's during childhood or teenage, a lack of social interactions can prevent us from learning some of the skills that are needed to understand and appreciate others. Just a thought.
Indeed, aloneness when cultivated badly can further arrogance and self-absorption. And you second point about needing to learn social skills is very relevant. Here’s a third point that relates to both: when you are hit by loneliness, sometimes it clouds your perception of others and can make them look even more like fools (or just bad friends). In which case, aloneness feels more natural and the only place where you feel safe. But to fight loneliness one must start opening up again to the world and not run from social interaction. And then it would be wise to try to - courageously - assume that people maybe aren’t the fools they seem to be, maybe my point of view is not “true” nor should serve as absolute reference. -> To courageously meet the apparent foolness of others is a way to realize maybe it was us that were the fools all along.
Not about intelligence, the "fool" in Buddhist texts is characterized by three things: bad conduct by way of body, speech, mind, and will be suffering from bad karma. Close to such an unwise person may lead us astray, do wrong things, and cause misfortune.
If there would be noone at your level to be friends with then couldn't you teach someone to your level and then together learn and discuss ideas? As the quote "Teach the ones below you and learn from the ones higher than you"
i came from a country where social skills outweighs academic skills. the amount of friends determine one's likeability. individuality seemed like nothing tsk
@@letsgobrandon3007 By intention to give positive viibes we receives...........don't we? you are right it's easy to look intelligent not fool so we can become wise....... ''The truly intelligent person is one who can pretend to be a fool in front of a fool who pretends to be intelligent.''
Well having a narcissist friend is always doomed to crush your friendship with the other person. So we have to also notice psychological problems that can’t be cured in any way… For all the people who are suffering first see if the problem was you, then think harder to see if the problem was the other person, or if you were both the actual problem. Take your time write it down doubt yourself a little bit, that’s what progression means.
I feel that I many times am the fool, this video is talking about. Not because I want to be, but its just a thing I do subconsciously. It contradicts my understanding of friendship, this behaviour. Friendship to me, is being able to prosper together while not "trying so hard". I find, that when I am relaxed with another person, I tend to become cruel in some regards - make fun of the other, many times too harshly. I would like to hear some opinions to this. I am open to advice and Wise words.
Hey guys. What if I do the opposite? What if I understand completely what people go through energetically and make their purpose my purpose. What is this?
You should double check that quote translation, and carefully consider who the fool is when travellers meet and one is not able to find his betters, or equals. :)
what if you know your boss is a fool... how to avoid? i faced this problem, when I knew boss is self absorbed, not willing to take any of my input... but still he was one controlling my career. how not to allow fools from controlling you or your career... change jobs? what if next job has bigger fool?
damn bro, sometimes you can just have friends that are nice to be around. having friends just to seek self improvement is using them, not having genuine friendship.
The “friends for self-improvement” need not be considered inane pillars from which you stand, rather one part of a duality where both of you learn from each other and rise, like a pair of twisting vines that grows stronger when winding together. In that case it’s not so much “selfish”/ “using them” but more of a “genuine friendship”. And looking for such genuine friends instead of “lower quality” friendships, such as groups of friends to hang out and have fun, doesn’t seem to me to be utterly contemptible behaviour. Though one must never forget the sheer strength of the bonds uniting whole groups of friends.
@@robertog8008 dude, I mean this with no disrespect because i used to be like you -you write like an incel or a 12 year old. no one is going to respect you when you talk like that. the only people who write "utterly contemptible" (and similar phrases) are people that are trying to show off how smart they are, and its incredibly transparent.
@@FearTheImpaler na not really everyone writes how they want to or they like to follow basic grammar as it feels comfortable as it is taught to oneself or they teach it to themselves, that's an argument that probably (speculation) stemmed from the handwriting bullshit that tells about ones personality.
Im not interested in having “friends” at all after what I dealt with. The “friends” I had in the past put my open enemies in the unemployment line. smh
Hello dear, I am following your channel and watching your videos from the very beginning of this channel. Can I ask you a question? Obviously I will not get any response saying yos/no. So I think I have to a do it anyway. Look I have already asked you that if I can ask you or not. This is also a damn question, right? On a serious note, Do you think that it's your duty to read the comments on your videos and try to reply them at least some of them? Edit: Can the comment section of this type videos be more interactive?
What about the superiority and inferiority dilemma and seeing yourself in everyone. i've been struggling with this for a long time. don't we make judgements about others by calling them fools only then for that to rebound towards us because they treat us how we treat them.
I like this channel, offers solid info. This vid has positive offerings, but I must say, I take it with a grain of salt. Most of the relationships I have are at work, where I spend more time with my co-workers than than anyone else. They are very conservative politically and theists, some go to church every time they can, sing in choir, teach Sunday school, are deacons and members of security force. I am conservative to large degree, but if they were to find out I am not a theist, I would be seen as a Threat. I want to get along, but have to keep my personal world view to myself. Would it were otherwise.
Is the other person to be judged only? Always? What about me then? I can also be a fool to them. If someone is higher in this ranking method then I will always in lower position compared to them. Then why they will choose me as a friend?
Is it wrong to seek comfort? Comfort seeking in all of its various forms is a plausible action. However, under the guise of comforting yourself, you may be misguided. Obvious examples of injudicious comfort seeking are when you tell yourself you're stressed and need a drink or that you must have “comfort food” to calm your nerves. What is wrong with the comfort zone? If you stay in a comfort zone too long, it can make you complacent. If you don't perform activities that somewhat scare or challenge you, you miss out on growth opportunities. What does seeking comfort mean? If you are doing something in comfort, you are physically relaxed and contented, and are not feeling any pain or other unpleasant sensations.
1. "The truth is, I've never fooled anyone. I've let men sometimes fool themselves." --Marilyn Monroe 2. "Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit." ? Elbert Hubbard 3. "Any fool can make a rule. And any fool will mind it." ?Henry David Thoreau 4. "People do not wish to appear foolish; to avoid the appearance of foolishness, they are willing to remain actually fools." ? Alice Walker 5. "Until you're ready to look foolish, you'll never have the possibility of being great." --Cher 6. "I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher." --Mark Twain 7. "Who's the more foolish: the fool, or the fool who follows him?" --Alec Guiness (as Obi Wan Kenobi) 8. "A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer." --Bruce Lee 9. "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do." --Benjamin Franklin 10. "If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me." --Angelina Jolie 11. "Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish." --Albert Einstein 12. "You can say any foolish thing to do to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'" --Dave Berry 13. "Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolish." --Chuck Palahniuk 14. "For God's sake, give me the young man who has brains enough to make a fool of himself. " --Robert Louis Stevenson 15. "I'm still dealing with the 21-year-old me. That idealist, that purist, that young, noble and somewhat foolish guy... So I tell them to try to hold on to the way they feel right now. Because that's going to effect them for the rest of their lives." --Billy Joel 16. "There are people who walk against then wind. Then, there are people who pee against the wind." --Mirtunjay Upadhyay 17. "We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance." --Japanese Proverb 18. "A wise man fights to win, but he is twice a fool who has no plan for possible defeat." --Louis L'Amour 19. "The best servants of the people, like the best valets, must whisper unpleasant truths in the master's ear. It is the court fool, not the foolish courtier, whom the king can least afford to lose." --Walter Lippmann, American writer 20. "The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes." --Sir Winston Churchill 21. "Stay hungry, stay foolish." --Steve Jobs 22. "Foolproof systems do not take into account the ingenuity of fools." --Gene Brown 23. "Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each other." --Oscar Wilde 24. "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." --Frank Lloyd Wright 25. "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself." --Ethel Barrymore 27. "A fool and his money are soon elected." --Will Rogers 28. "I just love making a fool out of myself. I made my living as a clown at kids' parties for about three years." --Hugh Jackman 29. "When the water starts boiling it is foolish to turn off the heat." --Nelson Mandela 30. "If you don't educate yourself, you'll never get out of the starting block because you'll spend all your money making foolish decisions. --Daymond John
Have to disagree a little bit. Sometimes, in the spirit of equipoise, one must maintain toxic or dysfunctional relationships to cultivate compassion and love. A person may hurt you, but the love you feel for them can outweigh it. Something for you to work your karma out.
Me realizing I'm kinda of a fool how can I change that I dont want to be a fool I always thought others were the fools that I had more experience and knowledge because when I was a little child I was my parents always said that im smart that's why I never listened but now I realize that I am a just dumb what should I do
Also please be reminded that while people can be a "bad friend" to you, it doesn't mean they are a bad person in general. Maybe you just don't fit with each other. That person can be a good friend to other person too.
You are a good friend to him if you let him go. Because it is a favor for both of you, to find another companion.
Bruh do you know any where else where I can discuss about serious things like mental health or self improvement journey
there's really no other place I can really talk about it to discuss my discoveries
@@zendrox.von-laixer9192 I'm not sure but a group like that exist somewhere. You can research. It's most likely telegram group chats or Facebook groups. But one thing is for certain. These groups exist.
True. As a vegan, non-religious spiritual, centrist, there are a ton of blockades with people. Lmfao. 💀😅🤝😎🤜🤛🔥🥰👻👻✊💚🌱🙏🙇🏽♂️🧘🏽♂️
This is one of the most fundamental teachings of the Buddha: "if you cannot find a noble friend, it is better to go alone like a wild Tusker elephant"
“Don’t compare your journey with anybody else’s. You walk different paths”.
Don't make the huge mistake I made in the past, brothers and sisters, don't waste precious years with loser friends, or hang out with people who dont want the best for you. A real friend is happy for your happiness and sad for your loss, it's instinct. If not, it's not friendship, Just ghosts who talks and is in your presence. A friend wants the best for you and you feel the same for your friend. Don't fear time on your own. Read good books, take long walks, start meditating, yoga, do creative things and realize that life is short. Don't you ever dare to waste it on people who are mean to you, make you feel embarrassed, or put you in situations that could ruin your life or give you memories that will haunt you. Don't. Love life, treat your soul and integrity with care, affection and respect.
but there are many common fear(feel weak inside us) we are just hiding and running from every day..........what to do dude with that?
Thank you for this beautiful message 🥺💕
Thank you for this enlightening comment.
There are many fools and even less wise people in the world, so appreciate when you find your soulmate(s).
Don't mistake the "fool". The Buddha said, “one who possesses three qualities should be known as a fool. What three? Bodily misconduct, verbal misconduct, and mental misconduct... One who possesses three qualities should be known as a wise person. What three? Bodily good conduct, verbal good conduct, and mental good conduct.” - AN 3.2 Lakkhaṇasutta
right..........👍
A truly wise person is someone who knows that there's no really such thing as being wise. At best we have deep knowledge in some aspects, and not so deep in others. One can be wise in artistic ways, but a fool when it comes to have social skills.
I dont think this video is about being wise or a fool in that regard. To my understanding, its about being friends with a jerk (the fool) - a person who is not compassionate and friendly.
Either way, you are correct in your assesment. I do great when I paint (not saying my art is great, but I feel great when I do paint) but im terrible at socializing (I have social anxiety). Spot on
No, no one can be wise in artistic ways, that liguisticaly wrong. Try to learn the difference between knowledge and wisdome before trying to tell others whats what 😅😅😅😅
In today's selfish world, being alone and happy internally is the best strategy to adopt. ☺️🙏🏻
Its hard to admit it but im one of those self absorbed bastards. Thank you for making me realized this.
yeah it's not easy.......
I needed this reality check. I should really be a better friend
To the *incredible person* that's seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.
Thank you
bs but thanks
As long as your mindset and direction is clear, it does not matter whom you mixing with!
ohhhhhhhh........right
Yes , it is quite true that bad friends don't understand the feeling of other friends and always show themselves superior . I have experienced these situations whatever is described in the video. Bad friends can use us and at the time when we're in need then they move aside . Also they take advantage of us and don't tell before others that we helped them .They give credit to themselves instead us .. So beware of these kind of friends.. 😊 💕🌹Thank you for making such a useful videos..💕🌹
"Though only for a moment a discerning person associates with a wise man, quickly he comprehends the Truth, just as the tongue tastes the flavor of the soup."
328. If for company you find a wise and prudent friend who leads a good life, you should, overcoming all impediments, and keep his company joyously and mindfully.
329. If for company you cannot find a wise and prudent friend who leads a good life, then, like a king who leaves behind a conquered kingdom, or a lone elephant in the elephant forest, you should go your own way alone.
330. Better it is to live alone, there is no fellowship with a fool. Live alone and do no evil; be carefree like an elephant in the elephant forest.
☆ Dhammapada -- translated by Ācharya Buddharakkhita
Fools are the ones that only think about themselves. Good friends in my experience are the ones that you can be yourself and they can be be themselves. Freedom and love 💕
There is no awareness without gratitude
"If one strings a piece of putrid fish On a blade of kusa grass, The grass will smell putrid too; The same with one who follows the fool. If one wraps frankincense In an ordinary kind of leaf, The leaf will soon smell sweet too; The same with one who follows the wise." -- Buddha ( Buddha Vacana / Ven. S. Dhammika )
"Who you are with will determine what you are able to know and your ability to follow what you know-to follow the greater Knowledge that God has given you to guide you, to protect you and to lead you to your greater accomplishments in life.
One misaligned or misappropriated relationship can stand in the way of this discovery and expression. This you must realize. You must take your relationships very seriously. You cannot afford to be with people who are not going where you are going and who cannot respond to the power of Knowledge within themselves.
Face the disappointment that this realization may bring about. But face the truth, for the truth is very clear in these matters even though people are very confused."
A quote from *Love and Relationships* - a teaching from *The New Message from God*
I love this video! It shows me some very important things!
Thank you!
Thank you so much, I really really loved this video. Perfectly well put. In words I've been trying to express for so long. Now all I have to do is copy and fwd to all the fools I befriended.
This is a great reminder, thank you.
Be a friend for everyone. Just dont stop your own path for anyone. Good friends share paths, interests and support.
What you are doing, through these videos. It's beyond the reach of words to explain.....🙏 A big thankyou from india. I feel Gratitude from my deepest heart, for the knowledge you provide, the efforts you put in and most importantly...the passion that you have for life. 🙏 Thankyou. 🌷
So many people need to hear this message, especially in polarized communities and those only seeking confirmation biases! I appreciate your point of view and am greatful for you bringing insight upon blind minds-- including mine..
the music in these videos has me floating
Thank you🙏🏾
Loved the video. Thank you 😊
seems like I sometimes was a fool. Thank you for your different point of view.
I watched this and I am glad you touched on us possibly being the bad friend.
I have 2 friends who I love very much. Unfortunately we have grown apart. We do not have the same views anymore. And Ive even said I’ve become a bad friend to them. So it was nice to run into this video.
Thanks
Good video. Sound advice.
That “1 + 1 = 3” part omg talk about mind blown 🤯 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Yeah i second like your video :).. Always love your point of view!
good video!
We've waited soo long for your new vedio ,aren't we🥺💛
While watching this video, I sense that the otherwise is true, "Avoid being a fool, be a wise friend". Started from 3:29,
"If I don't take a natural interest in my friend's worldview, in how they see the world, especially when it contradicts with my own, it's unlikely the friendship will work. If I don't take an interest in understanding them, what can I learn from or teach them? I won't learn from them, because I don't have a genuine interest in exploring their knowledge. But If I don't explore their knowledge, I won't understand their point of view. And if I don't understand their point of view, how will I correct it?"
A friend seemingly obsessed with their own thoughts has concern which we might find it hard to discern. When their thoughts contradict our value, we almost instantly reject their idea,. We gravitate to accept surface level of understanding and avoid seeking a deeper knowledge. The contradicting value hits our core so hard that it blocks our willingness to explore more and consequently, negatively label them as someone who is "obsessed with their own thought".
Yup this is a surprising lesson for me, and it's tough to unravel. It's wild how maintaining self-truths can go so far as to deny the outright deny that it's you may, in reality, be the fool to others. The self-view that you are a good friend who has interests in exploring others is a very slippery slope. How do you act mutually with a friend that you envy for their lifestyle? Perhaps your lifestyle does not match up with theirs, to such a degree, that you cannot fathom the idea of trying to do what they do? Is your worldview so contradictory that you have decidedly no interest in their worldview? Who is the fool when the friendship fades away?
@Butzacooky Value is like a double-edged sword. It uses similarities among members as a glue that hold them. Yet, the glue is also an oil toward non-members. The extreme example would be Nazi. But, the glue doesn't have to be that way.
When contradictory value confront us, we discern it with our own google translate that lack development. We transcribe the value with a buggy code we frame ourselves without input from other perspectives. However, from that buggy system, we learn (hopefully). More insights we cultivated as we mature enrich our translation. By the improved version, we can calm our guts and harness the bug.
Study finds that although we may share different backgrounds (and thus value), one similarity is good enough to form a bond. For example, the rich and the poor guy can be friends toward a common cause (say they are both cosplay lovers). Their stark wealth difference are irrelevant because cosplay is their shared identity. Although the rich may hate the poor because different value, they are one when it comes to cosplay.
You are great that you have just discovered a slippery bug in your believe system, now its time to use this insight for the next cycle of developing a better translation. When it comes to learning, being a fool is expected.
"Just as a fire that starts in a house made of reeds or grass burns down even a house with a peaked roof, plastered inside and out, draft-free, with bolts fastened and shutters closed; so too, ...
the fool brings peril, the wise person brings no peril;
the fool brings calamity, the wise person brings no calamity;
the fool brings misfortune, the wise person brings no misfortune.
There is no peril from the wise person; there is no calamity from the wise person; there is no misfortune from the wise person.
Therefore, bhikkhus, you should train yourselves thus: ‘We will avoid the three qualities possessing which one is known as a fool, and we will undertake and practice the three qualities possessing which one is known as a wise person.’ It is in this way that you should train yourselves.” - the Buddha AN3.1 Bhayasutta
Need a video on consciousness and law of non- duality. Thank you it's my humble request!
I've known a lot of people in my life and the conclusion is this : Always come back to this quote 5:15 ... as you evolve and experience new things in life, always go back and ask yourself this question and come up with a conclusion.
Awesome video as always!
Just wanna ask, How do you make your videos?
What softwares do you use?
Thank you😊
Solid video
Dammm your videos make me so relaxed
Please post more videos about Aristotle works.Thank You
3:30
ואוו.
זה בדיוק מה שהרגשתי
Even if your videos aren't advice, they help me getting my ideas clear, since I have a bit of insomnia so at times I can't think properly.
Brilliant
Attachment is the source of all suffering...
Very nice
Better to share our folly & pardon each other as you may not be able to choose who accompanies you.
I’m glad RUclips recommended me this video. I learned I’m the fool in my friend group.
I'm trying to get out of a toxic friendship with my friend .
Actually he is my friend since kindergarten and it's been like 11 years of our friendship but he is going on the wrong track , he is becoming an addict of alcohol and drugs and is pursuing me too to do those things . I have decided to end the friendship but it's just so hard for me ......
you're doing yourself a favor
just leave them. it's better for you.
Good for you.
My friend of 10 years
I'm also in similar situations he has become toxic without even knowing it and he has developed arrogance in himself and I don't even like his company anymore he likes to play video games whole day and I don't even like it
But just to please him I play online games with him just to make him happy. I have been struggling with maintaing a healthy boundary
@@taj__
You gotta learn to say no
tell them to behave better or end of friendship
just say him to his face i am leaving you......you are my bad friend not good
That cycle of " Don't care, so they-Dont listen, so they- Don't know your story because they-(Go to start), is happening to people from bureaucratic institutions also. Which can allow the oppression of some, even with social approval. That could be the thin edge of the authoritarian wedge if we , umm, don't care. Gross injustice is like a tar-baby that can pull Buddhists back into samsara if we are not careful, however, with all the love in my heart, I will speak the truth about very naughty people who have already caused me violence for speaking about the violence. "He hit me, he beat me! The hatred of such a one will never cease". Very true. I don't hate anyone. I wish everybody well because that would make for a better world. There is no provision for aversion of any kind when practicing Metta, free of hate and as wide as the universe. The deeper my practice becomes, the more the world, (the people around me) seems to push back and accuse me of terrible violence and threats of violence, even to the extent of issuing court declarations to cease and desist, said violence. I am amazed at the reaction of my community. Is this Mara playing stupid games? Lol. ✋☸️☮️💟
Thank you for this point of view ! But I'm not totally convinced. In certain cases, I believe that being isolated can lead us to become more self-absobed and less genuenly interested in others, because we might think : "others are fools, I can't trust them, so I better trust my own points of view". And also because if it's during childhood or teenage, a lack of social interactions can prevent us from learning some of the skills that are needed to understand and appreciate others. Just a thought.
Indeed, aloneness when cultivated badly can further arrogance and self-absorption.
And you second point about needing to learn social skills is very relevant.
Here’s a third point that relates to both: when you are hit by loneliness, sometimes it clouds your perception of others and can make them look even more like fools (or just bad friends). In which case, aloneness feels more natural and the only place where you feel safe.
But to fight loneliness one must start opening up again to the world and not run from social interaction. And then it would be wise to try to - courageously - assume that people maybe aren’t the fools they seem to be, maybe my point of view is not “true” nor should serve as absolute reference.
-> To courageously meet the apparent foolness of others is a way to realize maybe it was us that were the fools all along.
right genuis...👍
this video is lacking your wise experience/thought
Sounds a lot like my brother. 😀
If someone brings you Down or you can't learn anything from then cut them off.
Not about intelligence, the "fool" in Buddhist texts is characterized by three things: bad conduct by way of body, speech, mind, and will be suffering from bad karma. Close to such an unwise person may lead us astray, do wrong things, and cause misfortune.
😱 me, this entire video
This vid is true but not about my friend, its about my family, and i cant do anything to improve or escape from the situation im in for 26 years
How do you animate your videos
this is great contenttt
If there would be noone at your level to be friends with then couldn't you teach someone to your level and then together learn and discuss ideas? As the quote "Teach the ones below you and learn from the ones higher than you"
Yeah u can if that friend u r trying to teach wants to learn,a lot of ‘friends’ don’t want to and there’s nothing u can do
i came from a country where social skills outweighs academic skills. the amount of friends determine one's likeability. individuality seemed like nothing tsk
South Korea? Superficial country.
i just respect south korea not deeply just on the surface level
lol not from korea
Iam a fool and trying to become better
i am a fool and my foolishness not stopping to become intelligent but i am stopping myself
Good! Brother I want to use your video for educational purposes, may i? Certainly not on RUclips...
💯💯💯💯
I guess this is why I spend 80% of my time alone. The world is full of fools.
why not make world full of intelligent people.......?
@@Thank-u-so-much-for-everything I love the positive vibe, but it will never happen. It’s far too easy to be a fool than to be intelligent.
@@letsgobrandon3007 By intention to give positive viibes we receives...........don't we?
you are right it's easy to look intelligent not fool so we can become wise.......
''The truly intelligent person is one who can pretend to be a fool in front of a fool who pretends to be intelligent.''
Well having a narcissist friend is always doomed to crush your friendship with the other person. So we have to also notice psychological problems that can’t be cured in any way… For all the people who are suffering first see if the problem was you, then think harder to see if the problem was the other person, or if you were both the actual problem. Take your time write it down doubt yourself a little bit, that’s what progression means.
I feel that I many times am the fool, this video is talking about. Not because I want to be, but its just a thing I do subconsciously.
It contradicts my understanding of friendship, this behaviour. Friendship to me, is being able to prosper together while not "trying so hard". I find, that when I am relaxed with another person, I tend to become cruel in some regards - make fun of the other, many times too harshly.
I would like to hear some opinions to this. I am open to advice and Wise words.
Hey guys. What if I do the opposite? What if I understand completely what people go through energetically and make their purpose my purpose. What is this?
Hmm... what's this verse number? who translated? what's the original meaning?
You should double check that quote translation, and carefully consider who the fool is when travellers meet and one is not able to find his betters, or equals. :)
what if you know your boss is a fool... how to avoid? i faced this problem, when I knew boss is self absorbed, not willing to take any of my input... but still he was one controlling my career. how not to allow fools from controlling you or your career... change jobs? what if next job has bigger fool?
damn bro, sometimes you can just have friends that are nice to be around. having friends just to seek self improvement is using them, not having genuine friendship.
The “friends for self-improvement” need not be considered inane pillars from which you stand, rather one part of a duality where both of you learn from each other and rise, like a pair of twisting vines that grows stronger when winding together.
In that case it’s not so much “selfish”/ “using them” but more of a “genuine friendship”.
And looking for such genuine friends instead of “lower quality” friendships, such as groups of friends to hang out and have fun, doesn’t seem to me to be utterly contemptible behaviour.
Though one must never forget the sheer strength of the bonds uniting whole groups of friends.
@@robertog8008 dude, I mean this with no disrespect because i used to be like you -you write like an incel or a 12 year old. no one is going to respect you when you talk like that.
the only people who write "utterly contemptible" (and similar phrases) are people that are trying to show off how smart they are, and its incredibly transparent.
@@FearTheImpaler na not really everyone writes how they want to or they like to follow basic grammar as it feels comfortable as it is taught to oneself or they teach it to themselves, that's an argument that probably (speculation) stemmed from the handwriting bullshit that tells about ones personality.
@@twinedmouse7821 that run on sentence was also hard to read. there is a reason we have writing conventions. ignoring them makes you sound stupid.
Im not interested in having “friends” at all after what I dealt with. The “friends” I had in the past put my open enemies in the unemployment line. smh
✨📝
Some books english are so advanced that i can't understand it. I need help
practice, learn, use Internet to understand stuff you don't understand
what if you are fool and it is said to make wise friend but what about the wise person since you are fool so he will not make you friend
00:44
01:11
02:29
03:21
04:01
Hello dear, I am following your channel and watching your videos from the very beginning of this channel. Can I ask you a question? Obviously I will not get any response saying yos/no. So I think I have to a do it anyway. Look I have already asked you that if I can ask you or not. This is also a damn question, right?
On a serious note, Do you think that it's your duty to read the comments on your videos and try to reply them at least some of them?
Edit: Can the comment section of this type videos be more interactive?
What about the superiority and inferiority dilemma and seeing yourself in everyone. i've been struggling with this for a long time. don't we make judgements about others by calling them fools only then for that to rebound towards us because they treat us how we treat them.
I like this channel, offers solid info. This vid has positive offerings, but I must say, I take it with a grain of salt. Most of the relationships I have are at work, where I spend more time with my co-workers than than anyone else. They are very conservative politically and theists, some go to church every time they can, sing in choir, teach Sunday school, are deacons and members of security force. I am conservative to large degree, but if they were to find out I am not a theist, I would be seen as a Threat. I want to get along, but have to keep my personal world view to myself. Would it were otherwise.
hi
Friend. How are you
Is the other person to be judged only? Always? What about me then? I can also be a fool to them. If someone is higher in this ranking method then I will always in lower position compared to them. Then why they will choose me as a friend?
No points. The creator is busy. Lol😆🤣
good people give attention to only good people they just can't ignore them becsause it's rare to find them
👍👍,,
Whats wrong with seeking comfort?
Is it wrong to seek comfort?
Comfort seeking in all of its various forms is a plausible action. However, under the guise of comforting yourself, you may be misguided. Obvious examples of injudicious comfort seeking are when you tell yourself you're stressed and need a drink or that you must have “comfort food” to calm your nerves.
What is wrong with the comfort zone?
If you stay in a comfort zone too long, it can make you complacent. If you don't perform activities that somewhat scare or challenge you, you miss out on growth opportunities.
What does seeking comfort mean?
If you are doing something in comfort, you are physically relaxed and contented, and are not feeling any pain or other unpleasant sensations.
Me first 😌
Hard realization i was the fool friend 😭💔
Buddha is an avatar of lord Vishnu
1. "The truth is, I've never fooled anyone. I've let men sometimes fool themselves."
--Marilyn Monroe
2. "Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit."
? Elbert Hubbard
3. "Any fool can make a rule. And any fool will mind it."
?Henry David Thoreau
4. "People do not wish to appear foolish; to avoid the appearance of foolishness, they are willing to remain actually fools."
? Alice Walker
5. "Until you're ready to look foolish, you'll never have the possibility of being great."
--Cher
6. "I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher."
--Mark Twain
7. "Who's the more foolish: the fool, or the fool who follows him?"
--Alec Guiness (as Obi Wan Kenobi)
8. "A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer."
--Bruce Lee
9. "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do."
--Benjamin Franklin
10. "If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me."
--Angelina Jolie
11. "Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish."
--Albert Einstein
12. "You can say any foolish thing to do to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"
--Dave Berry
13. "Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolish."
--Chuck Palahniuk
14. "For God's sake, give me the young man who has brains enough to make a fool of himself. "
--Robert Louis Stevenson
15. "I'm still dealing with the 21-year-old me. That idealist, that purist, that young, noble and somewhat foolish guy... So I tell them to try to hold on to the way they feel right now. Because that's going to effect them for the rest of their lives."
--Billy Joel
16. "There are people who walk against then wind. Then, there are people who pee against the wind."
--Mirtunjay Upadhyay
17. "We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance."
--Japanese Proverb
18. "A wise man fights to win, but he is twice a fool who has no plan for possible defeat."
--Louis L'Amour
19. "The best servants of the people, like the best valets, must whisper unpleasant truths in the master's ear. It is the court fool, not the foolish courtier, whom the king can least afford to lose."
--Walter Lippmann, American writer
20. "The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes."
--Sir Winston Churchill
21. "Stay hungry, stay foolish."
--Steve Jobs
22. "Foolproof systems do not take into account the ingenuity of fools."
--Gene Brown
23. "Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each other."
--Oscar Wilde
24. "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."
--Frank Lloyd Wright
25. "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself."
--Ethel Barrymore
27. "A fool and his money are soon elected."
--Will Rogers
28. "I just love making a fool out of myself. I made my living as a clown at kids' parties for about three years."
--Hugh Jackman
29. "When the water starts boiling it is foolish to turn off the heat."
--Nelson Mandela
30. "If you don't educate yourself, you'll never get out of the starting block because you'll spend all your money making foolish decisions.
--Daymond John
93
What if I am the fool?
who said we are not........than continue to the part of normal life
Bodily misconduct, verbal misconduct, and mental misconduct...avoid these things
Have to disagree a little bit. Sometimes, in the spirit of equipoise, one must maintain toxic or dysfunctional relationships to cultivate compassion and love. A person may hurt you, but the love you feel for them can outweigh it. Something for you to work your karma out.
Me realizing I'm kinda of a fool how can I change that I dont want to be a fool I always thought others were the fools that I had more experience and knowledge because when I was a little child I was my parents always said that im smart that's why I never listened but now I realize that I am a just dumb what should I do
Not interested in neither learning how to live from others nor in being praised for how I live. Just leave me be and I'll do the same for you.
please read bhagwat geeta, a personal request.
what is amazing in that..........?
@@Thank-u-so-much-for-everything
the answer to your youtube name.
@@asheeesh_09 ohhhh.........now i see that what you mean😂
than read all religious books.......👍
so why will the person who is better than me makes friends with me