How to Make Your Life More ADHD Friendly - the Issues Log!
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
- Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video. To receive 10% off your first month, visit: betterhelp.com...
Happy Mental Health Awareness Month! Super excited to be presenting content this month that's fully in line with creating a more ADHD friendly world! Check out our vlog prior talking all about it: • What if We Could Make ...
Check out our Issues Log worksheet we made: drive.google.c...
Support us on Patreon: / howtoadhd
Check out our website: howtoadhd.com
Follow us on all the things:
Twitter: / howtoadhd
TikTok: / howtoadhd
Instagram: / howtoadhd
Facebook: / howtoadhd
Our Merch Shop: shop.howtoadhd.com
#mentalhealthawarenessmonth #adhd #lifestyle
Question - how do you handle the log? I struggle with making this kind of log...
Once I left it on the kitchen table and just went and wrote stuff down...once I kept a small notebook and pen in my pocket and just wrote stuff down as it came up. Honestly I’ve never done it “perfectly” or consistently but it’s helps me a lot whenever I do it :) however much I do is better than nothing
@@HowtoADHD
I struggle with not doing thing perfectly-ier than perfectly, so it will be a challenge, but I'll try to do it.
Thank you :)
@@yaa40 same, bro. While I know I’m in a hurry still cannot do stuff in an imperfect way. It annoys, especially when you have a deadline.
I have tried every system and can’t find a single one that works :-(
@@dpilcher same. The only thing that seems to make a difference is reminder alarms and calender reminders on my phone. I've started keeping a log in my note app, so we'll see what happens.
There is a thing I’ve been doing for years to help me with some of this, I call it “Butler Time”. Every evening I have an alarm to spend 15 minutes on Butler Time, going through my house and preparing little things I will need for the next day (laying out my workout clothes, cleaning coffee machine, laying my book by the couch for reading), like I’m the butler of my own mansion preparing things for “when the master of the house starts his morning”. Talking to myself in a posh British accent while doing it isn’t mandatory, but it makes it more fun. It really helps me making things a little more friendly for my brain. Thanks for this great video!
I just love that you call it Butler Time! Absolutely love the concept and it made me smile to imagine!
Lol, that sounds amazing and fun!
Omg I love this
I need to do this!!
This is brilliant
For ages my clothes kept ending up in piles on the floor and my room was always COVERED in laundry and then I realised that my brain was just REJECTING the laundry hamper because there was a lid it so I got rid of the lid and now my room is tidy
Adhd is wild
Another solution: less laundry. I'm not being facetious. I did the Konmari method on my clothing in 2019 and it's much easier to do laundry when I actually LIKE the clothes I have. I hate gathering and cleaning and drying and folding and hanging clothes because I hate the clothes themselves.
@@wickandwax I actually don’t have that many clothes, just a really tiny bedroom😂 Totally agree though it’s a great idea!!
I have a chairdrobe aka a chair where I put all the clean clothes.
Yeah I had the same problem for years... Now I have one that is practical *and* looks good, stationed right next to where I actually undress and it works.
Also I'm thinking of getting a second one to put the clothes I'll wear again so that these don't stay on the floor either.
@@elenatouly8558 ngl that’s genius
I didn't vacuum my room because I felt that just bringing the vacuum cleaner to my room already felt like an accomplishment.
I own three vacuums, in varying sizes. One for each floor of the house. I also keep cleaning supplies on each floor, so that I can get what I need immediately.
I got a robot vacuum... It feels like I live in someone else's house now!!
Yess robot vacuum is the best decision! I've had one for 5 years. They're so well built and such a great investment
@@katypilkington1704 im kinda scared of that thing. I keep thinking that I will hurt myself or break the thing
@@KarmaDNA I thought the same thing - he (Hoovy) likes to play with cat toys, chargers, socks, shoes - anything I leave on the floor! So now when he starts it's like a trigger for me to do the "Hoovy check" and remove things from his path! My cats hate him since he keeps trying to eat their food - I'm working on that 😂
Everytime I watch one of these video's I learn a life lesson that seems stupid but honestly helps me so much, stuff like: "losing your socks is not a failure of morals"
Literally same.
Not completing care tasks isn't a moral failing, yes! Care tasks are morally neutral :)
Seriously! The things we internalize and shame ourselves for. Ridic.
it can be especially difficult when adhd mixes with depression, since your mind views those obstacles as ‘necessary punishments’ for yourself and stubbornly insists that making things easier would make you lazy. but making life less difficult is a necessary step in coping/recovery! thanks for another enlightening video, as always
@Sangled. Yes exactly.
Do you have to ask yourself sometimes, is this Depression or ADHD ?
Having both is like lying curled up in bed while your brain is doing the chicken dance. And everything feels saddddd
Hugs
@@shriyas3432 can I steal this? It's the perfect explanation!
@@ruaoneill9050 I myself took the explanation from a friend
Honestly I love having this page, because as an Indian girl, there is a ton of stigma and misunderstandings with mental health alone, let alone ADHD, and learning from other neurodiverse people makes me feel so validated, thank you for this page, it really impacts a lot of lives
I Totally agree with the Stigma and Misunderstanding bit in our country.., after watching the videos and finally finding the courage to get myself evaluated - was only possible with the support of my wife , but the "Other People" or "Log" - including close friends did a total number on me .., not to mention when you visit the Pharmacy to Get your prescription - you are treated "Very Differently" ..., this space here feels safe ..., being 40 years old and having spent so many many years being - told that you were Lazy, and Under Achiever, Strange, Mad, etc .., there is finally a tribe that understands .., i finally do not feel intensely alone anymore - there are people like me..., who like me ..,for being like them ...,
That is so hard. There is still a stigma here in the US, but nothing like that. Such a shame. None of us choose our challenges. I guess that can make us more compassionate to others and their challenges. Sending you a warm hug.
@@kaymack5304 Thank you so much beautiful, I really appreciate it. I live in the US, but my culture and community definitely carries some of those stigmas, so I try to be that person who is open for other people:)
It’s excruciating when you struggle with mental illness or mental differences and friends and family-especially parents-won’t even listen to you or try to understand. It’s isolating.
Regardless, there’s a lot of us out here, so reach out!
I am a British National of Middle Eastern origin, worse . There is tons of prejudice regarding mental health / neurodiversity . My mother would not be happy I got my diagnoses. I believe the support for ND conditions, very poor in the UK, especially if you are undiagnosed as an child, with no children. I was diagnosed with dyspraxia, ADHD and aspergers traits traits , 1 by 1, 8 years 3 month apart, despite evidence as a child. The problem with ADHD, especially if it is diagnosed as an adult, it rarely occurs by itself . Earlier diagnosis would be less damaging.
Best statement. "If you see someone struggling there's a reason why they are struggling". Really clicked with me.
"I am used to climbing over things" Yeah that definitely feels accurate haha
Watching this, I look at the metre-wide pile of notebooks, clothes and paperwork next to my bed...
Same.... I really end to sort stuff. But the moment it's out of sight...
@@nikitawyllie-cinemastitch3267 Have you been in my bedroom?! Sounds like my bedroom. Lol
I resemble that remark.
@@StealthyGamerGirl2020 need to set aside dedicated time each week to tidy the bedroom count me in on that one mines messy at the moment
For me it’s often several reasons in line, like:
I didn’t do D because C needed to be done first.
I didn’t do C because B needed to be done first.
I didn’t do B because I expected someone else to do it.
They didn’t do B because I only told them the first half of what they needed to know.
I forgot to finish A (telling them) because doing the first half of A made it feel finished somehow.
or there's the whole opposite for being accidentally productive too???
i need to put my shoes away but the laundry's in the way so i put away the laundry.
i find my used drier sheets with the laundry so i need to throw them out but the trash is full.
so i'll take out the trash and i might as well get the trash from my desk while i'm at it.
and since i'm at my desk i'll take the dishes from there and put them in the sink on my way out.
then i walk back in and see the dishes in the sink and go "oh i'll just clean them now since i'm here."
so on and so forth until putting shoes away = everything i own is somehow clean
ADHD is like living the For the Want Of A Nail poem every dang day
@@hermesial me too. but it takes time away from what i should actually be doing... like studying or doing an assignment
Strange as it sounds, this problem is called yak shaving. (No, really. Look it up.)
Such a good description of the problem! Copying it to keep and share. Thanks and good luck
"ADHDers live life on Hard Mode."
I think I'll try remembering that. :D
The devs had to nerf us, after finding out hyper activity was to powerful.
My roommate replied in the background “that’s why I DON’T play my video games on hard mode”. 😂
@@kitdubhran2968 too many times I've given up on a day to go to sleep to restart the level
Love that, too!
This is facts!!!!!!
You got me on the "keep solving problems I don't even have" :)
Right? And ironically, that sometimes creates ones I didn’t have...
Solving problems we didn't actually need to sounds like that most ADHD thing possible - productive procrastination (in theory)
@@curiousfirely i agree
@@HowtoADHD exactly!!! and then it becomes an existential issue when I realize I didn't have the problem but now I have it so I could be anything and I may not have known... so wth? lol
It genuinely makes me happy when she says, “Hello brains” because it feels like someone understands me and I feel like I’m part of a community.
I love her "Hello Brains!" too! 😍🧠
I recently had a period where I hardly ate lunch. And I felt so bad about it because, how hard can it be? But at some point I realized that, whether I liked it or not, the process of deciding what I wanted to eat and actually preparing it was just too much at this time. So despite my shame I told my boyfriend that I thought it would help if, whenever he bought lunch to bring to work, he also got me something that I could just eat. And guess what? He didn't laugh at me, he didn't say I should just try harder, he got me the lunch and since then I've eaten lunch almost every day!
amazing!!
A good partner wants to take care of you, not shame you. Good on you for risking and reaching out, and I'm glad he took care of you when you needed it.
OMG i can relate to this so hard i could cry
Saweeeet!!!’ A keeper for sure😊
This is relatable to me in the sense that, I am told i am a picky eater....I always get the same thing at each restaurant. (IE Jacking the box: Jr jumbo Jack no pickles, Del Taco, Toasted Bacon Wrap, Mx place on the corner, Ceviche, Olive Garden, Shrimp Alfredo (even when I really want to try the lasagna)) and the truth is, its not that im a picky eater, its that the stress of looking at the entire menu and making a choice in under 5 minute is REALLY REALLY HARD for me.
so I stick to what I know.
I feel like I've replaced being late with anxiety about the event for 4 or 5 hours in advance.
Ooooo good one, same!!!
I regularly STILL feel anxious about whether I'm at the right place at the right time when I'm already there with other people who were supposed to be there
Same! And yet I somehow usually time warp through the window of "perfect time to leave the house" and end up rushing stressed on the way there and arrive just in the nick of time. Whyyyy 😩
im still struggling with both but i hear ya. one step forward...fill in th blank
When I was first looking into ADHD, I kept running into the "always running late" and "constantly miss appointments" symptoms, which I would always reply with "definitely not! I always try to be as early as I can (without being too socially awkward) and set a million reminders/alarms to make sure I---ohh....." Now I realize that my anxiety is a coping mechanism that my brain developed.
“I couldn’t cook my dinner because the pot wasn’t clean”... “I am USED to stepping on piles of laundry to get to my bed” *feels exposed* yeaaaahhh... 😳
OMG THIS!!!
I just have an open set of shelves for clothes, no drawers. Out of sight out of mind means I'll just wash and wear the same 2 pairs of jeans over and over back and forth until they disintegrate because I forgot the existence of the other 5 pairs I own.
YES!
Maybe I should try,
I'm somewhere in between. I recently went through some of my drawers and found t-shirts I hadn't seen in years. On the other hand, I really hate doing laundry too often, so I only want to do it every 2 weeks (my asperger syndrome is probably coming into play, as well, since suggestions of doing my laundry when it's only been 11 or 12 days since the last one can throw me out of whack). So I do use more than 2 things, but then when I wash what I used, they tend to wind up being stuffed back on top/in front of the drawers, and I wind up pulling out the same shirts again.
I semi Marie kondo fold/ roll my stuff so i can see what I have etc and im too lazy to do it properly. But owning less clothes is best less washing
I have a large trash bag labeled "current laundry" that has been in the corner of a room since we moved to this house, 4 years ago.
Me and my best friend are both ADHD and today she told me that we procrastinate because our brains perceive the action thats in front of us as painful or traumatizing so we put off doing it. it made so much sense and it was such a relief to hear that i'm not just lazy, thought I'd share it with you all.
Honestly your videos are a hugh help to my dysfunctioning brain and i actually cried for 2 days when I found them because it was the first time anyone ever told me that it's ok to not do everything I need to do that day, and I started educating my family to be more ADHD friendly as well, all with your videos. (BTW, my mom, my brother and me are all ADHD so our house is usually a mess).
I know it's a long comment but I really wanted you to know how much I appreciate you :)
You might enjoy Jessica's video on the Wall of Awful! ruclips.net/video/Uo08uS904Rg/видео.html
My family is too! But they don't want to hear a word of it. I still try and help them where I can. I am glad yours wants to educate themselves about it ☺️
Wooooowwwww! What you said about procrastinating really hit home for me. As I am facing my Master's degree certification exam...and I'm terrified....no WONDER I don't want to study. I didn't realize my behavior. Thank you for pointing that out.
Do you actually have an idea about why our brains perceive actions in front of us as traumatizing? This is actually exactly how I feel.
@@annamariafassio1799 Sadly I don't know why for sure but I can assume that because we want things to be perfect and to feel accepted or succesful and a lot of times the outcome is medium at best, or even if the outcome is good, the amount of stress and panic and overthinking that we go through takes such a toll on us that we try to postpone that feeling as much as we can. of course this is a loop of incorrect behavior because the more we procrastinate the more stress we are in when we actually do what we have to.
I do advice to plan everyday as a coping mechanism, it's a work in process and it won't 100% stop the procrastinating but it helps a lot :)
Me : finally makes a decision to do some hard tasks after a long time
My brain and ADHD : Allow us to introduce ourselves
What about paralysis, like, “I know I need to do my homework but I really really don’t want to do it so I guess I’ll just sit here and stress about it forever”?
You might find Jessica's "Wall of Awful" video helpful for this.
Solidarity from an internet stranger. That must-do-can't-do paralysis sucks so, so much.
@@GaraksApprentice I second this.
my eternal problem. currently working on slowly reducing my anxiety around these types of tasks.
Rachel, I'm doing a master's degree and having to do essays constantly is killing me. I'm about to finish one essay today that is already eight days late, so I'll be penalised and lose 40% of my grade. But the thing is, after that, I still manage to get a top grade and get to pass the subject. Each semester is the same thing. I feel paralysed, and for some reason, although the stress and anxiety that this behaviour cause, I simply stay there, feeling awful and unable to make a move towards books, papers and my laptop.
@@Xtremefox7 me too!!!!
Right now I'm really struggling with finding the line between under- and over-attributing my actions to ADHD. I feel that it's easy to say "oh, it's just my illness, so it's not my fault I can't do x." and "this is my personality, I'm lazy, unmotivated, etc." I find even if I identify the barriers you mentioned, I'm feeling depressed and embarrassed that I'm thrown off my such simple problems.
same. depression blames you to your core yet you understand that in reality you also have a valid and debilitating struggle that is ADHD
@@mollyanasthasya3828 True, and on the other hand, it's not helpful or even entirely valid to blame everything on the disease. I don't want to use it as a crutch or an excuse when the problem is actually me. It's hard to find that balance :(
I don’t think everything on you issue log has to be an adhd problem. Just anything you find you aren’t doing but want to. It isn’t about blame, it’s about finding ways to hack yourself so you don’t have to struggle so much.
I help ppl on computers and I love that there are usually five or more ways to do the same thing. It’s a matter of finding the way to do the thing the person can remember and are physically capable. Whether it’s using keyboard short cuts more, going to that menu instead of this, saving to the desktop instead of a folder... the difficulty is there regardless if it’s disease, illness, ignorance, or what have you.
Literally same
Lazy vs ADHD is really simple to determine.
When you hear/see yourself not doing something you want or think needs doing, ask yourself this:
If I was to force myself to get up and do it right now, could I?
When I ask myself that question when I’m being lazy, i feel no emotions except perhaps disappointment (because now I have no excuse) and realise yeah I can do it.
If when I think the question I become overwhelmed and distraught, it’s adhd. It is not normal for someone being lazy to feel distraught about the possibility of getting up and doing it anyway. Disappointment? Sure. A little guilt? Maybe. Not distraught. Not going to end up in tears over it.
So next time you’re on the couch and there’s things you should be doing, ask yourself that. Also consider the third option: you’re sore/tired and need a bit of a break because that’s ok too. Check in again if you’ve been there an hour or two…or three
Me: I'm going to stream games on RUclips today.
RUclips: oh btw, you can't see your stream chat in OBS.
-- 6 HOURS LATER --
Me: So that's how Python works. Why was I learning code again?
HAHAHA as a streamer I get this
Wait, you can add chat to obs?!
@@liliespetals19 yep! It's a pain to automate it, but you can manually transfer RUclips's chat popout to OBS. Just copy the popout's randomly generated address into a new "dock" window in OBS. Go to View » Docks » Custom Browser Docks
"why don't you stream regularly"
".... because I forgot streaming existed the last time I was trouble shooting OBS."
OBS is not adhd friendly 😭
I think that we ADHD’ers are always convincing ourselves how our perceived failures (or our actual failures) are in fact part of some sort of “moral failure” and it is a constant battle to convince ourselves that we are valuable. We each have our contributions and we each have our strengths. I know that I struggle with that push/pull everyday! Sometimes i see the irrationality of my reasoning and other times I succumb to the “negative monster” and can’t fight my way out of the dark. Hope this helps somebody know they aren’t alone.
I would literally have a book by the end of this list
Yep! Same. I don’t do this every week for a reason. 🤣 But it really does help me when I do
@@HowtoADHD I need to work on my whole apartment’s Feng Shui lol
Great video as always
Right ?!?!
@@halonostalgiatheater7440 believe it or not clearing clutter helps me part of my ADHD is my compulsion for cleaning I think I have comorbid OCD
@@Sensitivesoulessentials Try the Konmari method.
My issues log (sporadically updated) consisted of 3 repeating issues:
1) Forgot.
2) Distracted.
3) Pain.
...and GAZILLIONS of sub-reasons, sub-sub-reasons, and sub-sub-sub-lost-my-train-of-thought issues.
Having someone there to help and support you is a must.
Having people depend on you, who get upset when you fail THEM, is a WHOLE other level of misery.
😔
Keep asking yourself "Why" until you get to the heart of pain, distraction, or forgot.
For distraction one thing I read in the comments of one of Jess' videos is to make a BuJo Boredom Breaker. You get distracted right down what distracted you or wrote a task. Then when you're bored take items from the list.
"Having people depend on you, who get upset when you fail THEM, is a WHOLE other level of misery."
Indeed, and no less so when that person is yourself.
I bet the log would also be helpful for talking with therapists/coaches.
Our logs should start hanging out together so we can get on with our own stuff
I forgot we were talking about a log and was confused why everyone was saying log. Not joking. Wow.
So I started something, I bought an alexa flex with a motion sensor. I then created an alexa routine that goes off once between 6 and 9 am when it first detects movement. When this happens it kicks off my morning routine with timings, so it reminds me to do everything and announces it throughout the house in case I get distracted. I have also set routines for other parts of the day for lunch, exercise and shut downs and word activated routines based on getting home or finishing exercises.
I dream of stuff like this but my variable work schedule would make this a nightmare
I use Alexa routines a lot to get up, get the kids in bed, reminders etc. It's really great if you can set it up to work for you!
I do these kinds of logs for me (adhd mom) and my three adhd kids, and it really makes life easier. But, yes, someone has to tell you, that its not your fault and you don't have to accept it, so, thank you
Me (watching this video): Nah. I don't need an issues journal
Also Me watching this video: Those dishes haven't been done in days...
Me: That's cuz I'm lazy.
Also Me: WHAT IS YOUR ISSUE, FRIEND!?
Me: 💡Hey! I should figure out why I can't seem to do my dishes every day!
Also Me: 🤪Yeah! We should!
🤣Thanks, Jessica!
Holy shit, accurate description of my thought process! XD
Same.
Put the dishes into the washer instead of the sink.
Dirty dishes can’t pile up if they’re in the dishwasher instead. No more room? Great! Run the dishwasher.
It completely solved this problem for me
@@knightsintodreams what if only what if majority of people have no dishwasher. The only dish washer is their own hands. Oh no. What a world
@@knightsintodreams I don't have a dishwasher.
I have started to at least rinse the dishes though.
"Because I ended up solving problems that I don't even have." Yea... I catch myself starting on that quite a lot, and stop before I really get started.
I, too, struggle to find socks, but my solution was to just wear sandals every day all year except when there was snow on the ground. 😂🤦🏻♀️
Yesss! Master strategy 👍
+
Oh god... I've been wearing flip-flops every day as long in the year as I can and that's definitely the reason why... Makes a lot of sense haha
Nowadays, the only days I break down crying at the end of the day are when I watch your videos and realize that so many people are able to learn the skills they desperately need to cope with their symptoms.
On my issues log: Couldn't keep up with updating my issues log regularly... 🤔
Oh, 100% 🤣 but WHAT WAS THE BARRIER
I dont thin you should do a issuue log always. I think its is better if you do them in a limited time of space. And you decide how long that time will be: a week, a day, a 10- minute. Then you try to see how you can fix those issuse and think that is important that you let that take the time you need. Then the time it takes to make that implant and become rutin that you don´t even need to think of (Or in adhd terms: that you are not aware of that you are thinking of) And reward yourself at every step. And then when you feel motivate you make a new issue log for the time period you want it to be and that you can handle. Good luck!
@@HowtoADHD just to hear the word “log” I feel already in trouble
@@Xtremefox7 I printed the log. It’s still in the printer tray, and for some reason I printed 6 copies... progress?! Yeah, progress! At least that’s what makes me more happier accepting at this particular time.
I didnt know "if I'm running less than 10 minutes early I'm running late" was an ADHD defense and not just somewhere where I'd avoided ADHD 😭
I struggle all the time with my ADHD , I get angry and upset so easily for no reason!
“Many of us are very early to things because we don’t want to be late.”
Uh, turns out that soft noise I would sometimes hear when going inside to work was the alarm, so I’m pretty sure I’m the reason no one’s key cards work before 6am.
Actually Im usually running like the clappers and still can be late
Does anybody else find that they are always missing one or more ingredients to cook with? I’ve learned to be ok with googling alternatives. Yesterday I found out that white wine vinegar is a good alternative to rice vinegar. The meal was still delicious and the world didn’t explode ☺️
I was just talking about this with a friend and she said that I should make an ADHD cooking show video.
"To make this recipe, first add a cup of milk... aaaaaaaaand we're out of milk."
That would be the entire video. :)
Absolutely! I find that I often don't have all the right ingredients... even if I have gone to the shop to buy the ingredients. Even when they are all available, I manage to come home missing one or two.
Jessica did a video on cooking for ADHD... I even managed to watch it all! :)
I think you should definitely do a whole show on cooking!
Following recipes gives me genuine anxiety so I just chuck in whatever I think is good, and only use the recipes as a guide for the type of dish I want (Unless it's baking where you need exact measurements)
Closed Captions really help me remain focused.
Something that has stuck with me is that ADHD is like learning the same lesson, the hard way, every time.
Buying a closet organizer saved my life. I have a clean cubby box and a small, zippable laundry bag just for socks because I'm constantly losing them.
I FINALLY GOT DIAGNOSED!!!! YAYYYY!!! It really makes me feel so relieved because now it feels like there’s hope because there are a lot of things that I can do to help manage ADHD. I’ve been waiting since September to find out if I had ADHD. I’m so glad I have this channel to help me find stuff that works for me! 😊
Congrats!!!!
For organizing clothes: I remind myself that I save a LOT of time when I put them away. I’ll listen to a podcast, RUclips video, or audiobook so I still do something I enjoy.
Socks go in a box that looks like a fabric cube. I pull the tops of them down together so they don’t come apart and I don’t have to hunt for the mates.
Hi Jessica! I was recently diagnosed (at age 31) with ADHD combined and I've watched dozens of your videos already, they're so relatable and helpful! Thanks for your hard work on this channel. I have teared up more than once when watching.
Got my Neurodiversity University shirt on! I've had a lot of people ask me what Neurodiversity is. Becoming a minimalist has been great. Especially because I'm trying to downsize before moving.
I had mine on today too! 🙂
Second comment on this post... When I was in high school I had a poster on my wall that said: "Anyone can handle a crisis, it's the little S#!T that gets to you". Socks matter!
Oh I love this! I have a tendency to identify the small issue that made something hard, say "I should fix that", then forget about it until the hard thing comes up again, say "I should fix that"...like, at least 20 times before actually fixing the small thing. 🤦🏻♀️
Maybe this will actually get me using my bujo again lol.
What’s a bujo? Same!!!
I literally lived for years with no door attached to my bedroom door frame (about 10 years). I had a door, but it was propped against the door frame for privacy. Last month I got a carpenter to put up a door that I bought. Sometimes I can’t believe what I put myself through!
No more moving my door back and forth like a caveman 😅
10 years??? Oh, that's amazing. Good on you for finally getting that for attached! ADHD is wild. How come it was like that to begin with?
When I moved into my place, the water heater had not been turned on. It turned out that for some reason, it had a regular sheetrock wall panel sealed over what should have been a door, which had to be removed for the maintenance guy to turn it on. This was five years ago and the sheet rock is still sitting against the wall. I have asked for help with it and always get the response that it would be easy to take care of it myself. But it's not.
The symbolism of the effort to open and close your cave, needing to strain and lurch out of your cave. Hard mode days. What did you do with the surplus energy and time once the door was up, still riding high?
One of the best tips I ever got was to sleep on top of my already-made bed with a blanket. That way I only have to wash pillow cases, and occasionally the blanket, and rarely the comforter.
I also implemented a bucket and hook system in my room to help prevent Laundry Chair. Command hooks on the back of doors for coats and robes (no need to open door or get hangers!) And for my clothes that aren't dirty enough to wash, I keep them in a decorative cloth hamper by the bed. I can pick through it like a vulture! :D Also no hangers!
I also had sock issues, so I started tying them to the hangers holding my work clothes so I wouldn't have to spend 5 minutes looking for a matching pair.
This got kind of long, but just sharing in case it could help someone else. Godspeed, fellow brains!
I might be too late for you to see this, but THANK YOU, JESSICA! Because you share ADHD information AND your personal experiences, I was able to get diagnosed with ADHD. And I'm going to graduate this year. I will forever be grateful for your channel and for you. You have a beautiful spirit with useful information. I'm glad I found you on the internet!
Sometimes this looks like having spare chargers (one for work, one for home) so I don’t constantly leave them at once place and my phone dies.
My tooth brush is stuck to my mirror so I see it and I remember to brush my teeth.
We also have a trash can in literally every room to prevent any trash from being left. And I’m okay with that.
I thought a bin in every room was normal 😂
Yep. I also keep my next dental cleaning appointment card next to the toothpaste in the cabinet to help me remember there is a day of reckoning if I don’t brush/floss😁it works for me to have accountability.
thanks for making my life a little easier
I have never related to anything more than being late because of socks
Same. I stopped wearing socks at one point because I realized that that one extra step was enough to make me give up and stay home
This is why I can never go workout. Shoes too.
My ADD kid always puts his socks in his pants pockets. Now I finally know why!
you got me on "we play life on hard mode" I feel that
Achievements?
I actually just made something like this two days ago. It's really helped me lower my expectations of what I need to be doing, because it's all written down and I don't have to have all the problems floating around in my head stressing me out. I also made a reverse list, with things that are not problems/that I'm happy with (Edit: similar to a gratitude journal).
Well needed in my daily ADD life thank you Jessica
This is so helpful! I’m autistic and my sister and mom have adhd. We all struggle with separate disabilities and it’s very difficult to get things done when we rely on each other like three broken wheels on a tricycle. This might help us get on task
Sis! You have no idea how finding your channel has eased my life. Not even the techniques, but just the UNDERSTANDING! Thank you, so much, for sharing! You’re making a difference!
Kindly make a video on the need for ADHD facilities in Pakistan. 30 to 40% of the total patients at psychiatrists get diagnosed with ADHD in Pakistan and it is said that around 2.49% of Pakistanis have it. Yet there's no med available here.
None at all? What is treatment like there?
@@HowtoADHD I just jumped after realizing you replied.
The only med avalible here is ritalin (that too near the expiry date) but if I decide to take it after discussing with the psychiatrist, and if it doesn't work, that's the end. Plus, I contacted the drug regulatory authority in Pakistan and the only solution is to import it, which is extremely expensive due to exchange rate and customs and it takes more than a month to reach and there's no guarantee if it'll reach here.
@@luqmanqureshi5026 Are anti-depression drugs more available? Such as wellbutrin (it is a SNRI, norepinephrine and dopamine reuptake inhibitor, opposed to a SSRI which reuptakes serotonin) Not a doctor but prior to my adhd diagnosis it was the only prescribed med that had any noticeably positive effects.
ALSO, once again, not a doctor, and it is illegal in some countries, prescribed in others, but ephedrine, which is legally sold at over the counter at body building stores in my country as a "nasal decongestant" it is a CNS stimulant similar to amphetamines, but less pronounced, as it releases noradrenaline and dopamine in the substantia nigra. If it's legal, and over-the-counter, please do tons of research before and/or talk to a doctor.
I am sorry access to ADHD meds is difficult and expensive. Neither of the ones I listed have had the same effect as the Vyvanse I'm on now, but did help some.
I can't tell you how many times I've almost put soap on my tooth brush instead of toothpaste because the soap bottle is much closer... and that's when I don't forget to even brush my teeth in the first place
I once accidentally brushed my teeth with the bathroom cleaning toothbrush instead of my real toothbrush which looked really similar 😭
Pro tip: wrap an elastic around your cleaning brush so you can tell which is which
@@rainbowfoxmagicgrrrl you could also get those toothbrush covers! (Some even have suction cups attached so you can put it on the mirror) Not only would it remind you which is which (bathroom cleaning one wouldn't have one) but it also keeps germs off of it!
@@Shrimple-Sheeple ooh good idea! yeah I hear we're not supposed to keep our toothbrushes out in the open because poo particles will float onto your toothbrush
I’ve come so close to that that I had to multi check to make sure it didn’t happen. The other one nearly out glen twenty in my frying pan instead of olive oil. The best one though that actually happened was putting several teaspoons of salt in my coffee instead of sugar and trying to drink it and wondering why it tasted rubbish
I am so glad that you said a lot of people with ADHD are minimalist. I’m not Minimalist, but I have Decluttered a lot of stuff. And the more I Declutter, the better and more relaxed I feel. Thanks for confirming what I was thinking
I seriously need to declutter & do so much better with less stuff. But then I also think about “oh but what about this memory??” (I call myself a memory hoarder 😅) or I’ll think “but what if I forget about this? What if I NEED this??” When I haven’t even touched any of it in yearssss…I just started getting rid of old things again. It’s hard, but super needed for me & my brain.
@@TeeCup22 you can always take pictures of sentimental items. You don’t need the physical item itself.
💜💜💜💜This channel has really helped me in my relationship. My boyfriend and I watch your videos on our lunch breaks at work and it has opened our eyes to some of our strengths and struggles with with me and my adhd. It has helped soooo much 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Lol - I love this so much! I haven’t put my laundry away because my drawers aren’t organized and it’s not easy to fit clothes inside them, so now my room is filled with folded piles of laundry. Didn’t even know this was a thing but now this makes so much sense and I need to make a log now. 😅
You’ve been the single biggest help to me and my adhd life. I rly appreciate everything you do and so do countless other people!
Thanks :)
Letting myself keep some things "out/messy" or kind of not organized/not tidy/not put away helps SO MUCH. Not just with "adult" type tasks, but also making it easier for me to sit down and enjoy my hobbies.
I keep the rags I use for cleaning windows, dusting, and etc. draped over the bottles themselves under the sink. I keep all the "pieces" together so I can grab and go instead of procrastinating what feels like a daunting task of many fetch quests.
I keep the vacuum out against a wall in the living room, already plugged in.
I keep a pair of earbuds plugged into my keyboard and the TV connected to my video game console so I can just sit down and play (apartment=using earbuds for noisy things).
I don't put away all of my dishes; I use the same ones repeatedly and let them "live" in the drying rack.
Thank you for this video! You're making our life with ADHD easier :)
Oh my gosh!!!! I asked my husband just this week, "how can you stand walking over piles of crap on your side of the bed!?" He's probably USED TO IT 🤯 you are amazing for teaching me how to understand him and his ADHD. Thank you thank you so much!!!
my family didn't accept my ADHD so tomorrow I will go to doctor alone remember Iam 15 and yes Iam alowed in my country wish me luck Iam super stressed do I have it or just lazy
For issues caused by pileups:
I constantly have pile-ups of literally anything that can pile-up and once it is piled up I get overwhelmed with the amount of stuff or steps I need to take.
Right now, I'm using an impulse based system to help deal with it (not ideal, but it's better than nothing).
If I see 1 thing in my room that I kind of feel like fixing, I do it, right away, no thinking.
Examples: putting away just underwear, folding just socks or throwing away one thing.
5-5 may be the fastest way to 0, but 5-1-1-1-1-1 will eventually give the same result.
Even if a thing is added, repeatedly removing just 1 small thing will keep the sum from just growing and becoming increasingly overwhelming.
Advice for getting the small tasks done: if you are like me, your brain loves the phrase "not right now". Always cut yourself off with "why not?". No instant legit reason not to? Do it right away, don't think, just do. Small tasks = no big time or energy cost = no need to contemplate whether it fits into your schedule.
Well, you've kinda got me there. I just made myself some hotdogs, instead of the pasta I bought everything for yesterday, cause I haven't cleaned than one big pan.... in a week...
Tmw you get to the end of the week and the cupboards are empty and the fridge is full of furry monsters... 🤣🤣😭
I SO get that!!
I was just diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 30. My son and husband have ADHD as well.. Your videos have helped me so much! Thank you!
Welcome to the club!
Ok.. so why can’t i just study?
- my bed is adjacent to the chair where i study
So change places
- there’s no space in my bedroom
- my house is loud
- Outside its too bright for my nootebok screen
Buy a new top-end notebook
- done!
Why can’t i study
- play games on the notebook
...
F
There are (suppsedly) apps you can download to lock other apps during certain times of the day. It might help.
Fellow ADHDer here that relates to SO much of what you talk about. I think my “biggest struggle”... well, let’s be real my entire day often feels like one long struggle, but I’ve learned to laugh at a lot if it & use humor... & really a lot of symptoms ADHDers find them selves having are hysterical, I think! I’m also used to what a “normal” day in the life of living with ADHD looks like. I really wish “ they’d” change the term ADHD to something else that’s more representative of what I actually struggle with, like executive functioning disorder. I’ve finally gotten to a point where I know I’m not “dumb” or incapable! I’m am... was starting to accept & appreciate my ADHD for the unique things it gives me! Then, work, boss, boyfriend, and the same talks I’ve had my entire life start over again. I can not explain ADHD, even to myself sometimes, let alone my boss. I feel like when people hear “ADHD” they nod their head with some sense of understanding... and there seems to be no way to get them to see their perception of my life it absolutely nothing like my actual life. Sooo, back to my biggest struggle right now is - other people and the lack of trust & respect usually end up feeling. Example, I want, I need so much more responsibility to stimulate & motivate me, but if I can’t show employers the tradition way of building this trust, I don’t earn it, no matter how great I do at certain things, no matter how many conversations I have explaining, I always end up feeling under appreciated and under utilized. It feels like society in general won’t let me use what I can do well to benefit “them”, to let it work for me instead of against me. My weakness seem amplified.
How do we get “them” to trust me
and to believe in me? And how am I ever supposed to actually move forward or up? It’s so exhausting, it’s harder to make that extra effort to get off Amazon & get ready for work. And when I get home, I just want to crawl under my covers. I assume this is a common problem a lot of us face. Id really love any helpful thoughts, ideas, or what’s worked for you?! Thanks brains!!
I feel like this is somewhat similar to the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS/Plan B) model which was developed by Dr. Ross Greene. This is like Plan B'ing yourself! So cool :D
Hello Brain!!!!
Nice to see a new video from you!
Greetings from Germany!
hit the nail on the head ! how to write things down without the judgment.
"I throw my clothes on the floor because I don't want to open my hamper"
This revelation changed the state of my room forever. Now I just leave my hamper open. I can toss my clothes in it from across my room. No more clothes on the floor!
I got my diagnosis this year.. at 33. And I've been struggling my whole life with things people just... Do. They don't even think about the things they do. Like getting towels off the floor, putting a pair of dirty socks in the laundry bin, put away the clean dishes, forgetting things. Even after my diagnosis people find it difficult to understand how hard it can be to put things back or whatever. "I forgot" or "i was distracted by something else." Nor do they understand how EXHAUSTING it is, just to get through a regular day. I've felt so alone in this my whole life. Being angry and frustrated with myself. But since finding your channel, i don't feel as alone anymore. Thank you, for sharing everything you do.
You're awesome! Thanks for the content you make❤️
I learned i need to keep anything currently important on my desktop of my computer, because I'm never going to go searching through the files for it.
Also constructive feedback that you can take or leave (it is your channel...;) The music usually stops at the intro or playing over images with no other sound. But for some reason you had the music playing in the "background" today. For me personally is hard to concentrate on what you saying when music is also playing especially since you don´t have captions. I prefer have caption on when possible even when its just the youtuber talking. So I can understand more and more easily. But maybe thats just my brain no really knowing how it should process sounds. I do love watching your videos (the music playing at the same time just make it harder do so).
It may have been a bit louder in this one, thank you for the feedback! We usually do have it in the background but I try to keep it low enough that it’s still easy to understand me
@@HowtoADHD I'd like to second Karin :) Don't feel bad! I loved the video! But, a little quieter would help out.
I struggled with forgetting things when I worked in IT, and the approval process required very specific stuff. I learnt to make a generic checklist to work through that was stuck up on my wall right next to my PC, that I would put check marks on. After 30 years of working in IT and doing checklists, I don't forget tasks as long as I make a checklist first. Somedays, I make a list for the whole day, and it brings me confidence that I'm completing everything I need for the task at hand. I'm not diagnosed with ADHD, but I definitely have executive function problems.
just forgetting to put on deodorant was one for me so now I keep one right at the entrance to my house so if I forget I don't have to run across the house, I can just use the one next to the door.
people with adhd play life on "hard mode".... No truer words have ever been spoken.💚🙏 Finding this community is literally as soothing as having warm honey poured over you.... or so i'd imagine
make one for men and adhd is very difficult and specially from the hispanic community is just overlooked
I think it's cause Hispanic people are stereotyped to being hyperactive in general
My Hispanic friend had the same issue. His family kept telling him that it’s not ADHD, it’s just that “Hispanic passion”.
He went to a psychiatrist… yep ADHD. :)
My mom was always hyperactive, my dad forgetful, aunt talks non-stop, I just see ADHD everywhere in my family. Never even heard of it until I moved to Canada. My mom still doesn't want me labelled. I'm 34 and recently started taking Ritalin, but no actual diagnosis yet.
I love it, I will do this! I tend to write a to-do list for Monday but I noticed it needs to be my to-do list for the whole week and that's ok...
One thing that has helped me be more on top of things is every night (ok MOST nights) before bed I update a white board that is on the wall next to my calendar... I put tomorrow's date, agenda & what's for dinner. We also have a countdown to fun events at the bottom. The kids add their extra money earned in one corner too. Every Monday I sit with my kids and have a "family meeting" (I send notes to my husband when needed) ... we go over their allowance & goals, needs list (hello, who needs more socks???), and agenda.
I realized I dont really eat proper meals enough because I can never tell what leftover is what, so I thought it might be good to ask for them to be labeled with a sticky note. I asked my dad and he just said "no, too much work, figure it out yourself." -_-
No wonder I prefer living on my own
In the business world, we call this root cause corrective action. The goal is exactly what your video focuses on because people are essentially people even at work. Departments are interconnected and have mutual responsibilities so will often shift blame to prevent being punished. This causes people to not report issues they see and to focus more on cover your behind than solutions. Blaming doesn’t actually solve the problem but highlighting what can be done shifts the mind from defense to action and gets the whole team on board. It also creates transparency. The corrective actions must be actionable and quantifiable. It’s been a great tool and I think the reason why is that, as you pointed out in the previous vlog, what’s good for ADHD Brains is good for all executive function.
im thinking about dropping out of highschool and persuing a more vocational form of education. Im just so bad at school in so many ways that i hate myself for it.
It honestly isn’t for everyone. I think if you really think that dropping out is the best option, then it could be great for you. But you should definitely research what you can do instead of high school before making any big decisions. You should also carefully examine exactly why you want to drop. If it’s just coming from frustration, I can’t recommend going through with it. Make a pros and cons list and discuss it with people you’re close with and trust. Take their feedback seriously, but also don’t just do whatever they tell you. Such a big decision can’t be taken lightly. Good luck!
@@nixthelapin9869 definitely
revalued they’re so cool and you can grow so much and at your own pace with one.
Trade jobs*
Vocational career, good money fast.
I have been watching your channel for a while now. I was diagnosed in the late 80's and they really didn't know what to do with a 30 something because it was still being treated as a "kids disease" disease being their word not mine. I've floundered most of my life as a result, both personally and professionally even though I was until recently a highly respect emergency medical technician (great in a crisis, right). Meds didn't work for me and therapists, well, no good fits. This is the long way around to say that, now I'm 67 and you have opened SO many doors for me in this channel that have made my life going forward better. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Another meme review please!
I stumbled across an ADHD meme account on Instagram and now my sides hurt from laughing so much.
An issues log! And there I thought I've tried everything. Ready for a new round! Sounds promising.
1. Phone list
2. Whenever I'm frustrated write down the issue (I'll not track everything I don't do according to plan. Perhaps when I leveled up a couple of times...)
3. Remember to meditate for a minute to let it go
[Oh I forgot, edit:]
4. Set a calendar reminder for reviewing the issues!!
Not me watching this during class😅
Hey, this is kind of class too... #NeurodiversityUniversity 😜
I've been doing this for years. I make good choices in the grocery store so I can make it harder to eat junk. I make tomorrow's schedule today to so there's no pressure tomorrow when I need to figure out what to do. I find little ways to make myself accountable to others throughout the day so I accomplish goals. I turn my shampoo and conditioner in different directions so I have a harder time confusing them. I used to think it was me. I really appreciate you showing me that my problems and habits are not unique to me. It's nice not to feel so broken compared to others.
I like how natural this video is
2 views, uploaded 57 seconds ago, 1 comment 😳 i've never been that early haha
Hi! Welcome! Thanks for clicking so fast 🤓
@@HowtoADHD Your videos really help/have already helped a lot ☺ thank you so much for doing this ❤
I needed this today! I’m an ADHD mom of six. I run into the same trouble spots daily! It truly doesn’t occur to me to just buy more socks. Going to start my list! Thank you!
OMG you must be a trooper
I am one of the adhd tribes living in Japan🇯🇵
I have so many struggles in my every day life, but your you tube channel always helps me to look on the bright side of my life.
And now I'm trying to change my mindset and bring the best out in me😊
Thank you so much💕
Jessica, yes exactly, can be very helpful.
The two hardest parts are easy access to the list / remembering to note whatever is the roadblock, and remembering to review the list at some point.
This has been my whole thought process in what I need in a house while house shopping. Things like an ensuite with a shower or at least a shower on the same floor as my bedroom so stairs aren't between me and the shower, a craft room on the same floor as my bedroom so again stairs aren't between me and the things I want to do. A lot of my future house needs come down to me wanting a space as adhd friendly as I can start off with to make fighting my executive dysfunction much easier.
I know this channel is aimed at adults with ADHD, but I am gaining so much insight into how my ADHD kiddo's brain works by watching these videos (the issues manifest differently for kids vs teens vs adults, but clearly the foundations of them are the same--emotional dysregulation, anyone?). I appreciate you so much!