Remember that “coercive control” can happen behind the scenes. A person can be going about their daily life-working, coming home and making dinner, bathing their kids and putting them to bed, reading them stories before bed, and all the while the “covertly abusive” husband/wife is filming him or her, following her, stalking her, talking to her neighbors and church members behind her back about horrible she is--saying she’s done horrific things to the kids, saying she’s having affairs, ruining her reputation, all of which, of course, she has not done. And the victim of all this may be completely unaware that it’s going on, until something blows up or until someone clues her in on it. So remember, it can happen behind the scenes to you when you’re not aware of it.
Thank you Jane for your very important and timely contribution to this poorly understood phenomenon. Coercive Control= Antagonistic Domination...which includes Isolation, disempowerment, gaslighting, belittling, shaming, ridiculing, and crucially altering the self-awareness of the abused to be dependent on, and even loving, the abuser. Once this process of destruction has become well-embedded in the victim's psyche it can become self-perpetuating and result in suicide.
Thank you for your hard work Jane. I found your audio book so informative and invaluable and have recommended it to sooo many people, personal and professional. Thank you again.
We need to get the word out about coercive control. I was stuck in it for 2,5 years, got out and straight into another one for 16 years. It is impossible to get out if you don't even have language for what's happening to you.
Thank you for sharing this. I have read the book Dangerous Relationships and how they end in murder. I had no idea about "Coercive Control" or emotional & psychological abuse. I only discovered educational information post-separation when a former partner became more threatening, intimidating, and verbally aggressive after he terminated our relationship abruptly. It came as a shock when he moved on so quickly; he had jumped into a new relationship before ending our 11-year relationship. I'm going to share this video to raise more awareness.
Very interesting how you describe Separation (anxiety) as being the main trigger for the controlling abuser. Many people on the Quora platform for Narcissistic abuse advocate leaving the abusive relationship quickly and quietly, but without giving adequate consideration to these triggering effects you describe.
This book is terrifying and informative. I am sending a link to the book to a recently separated friend right now. She needs to read it like YESTERDAY :-( Also sending to my daughter.
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Remember that “coercive control” can happen behind the scenes. A person can be going about their daily life-working, coming home and making dinner, bathing their kids and putting them to bed, reading them stories before bed, and all the while the “covertly abusive” husband/wife is filming him or her, following her, stalking her, talking to her neighbors and church members behind her back about horrible she is--saying she’s done horrific things to the kids, saying she’s having affairs, ruining her reputation, all of which, of course, she has not done. And the victim of all this may be completely unaware that it’s going on, until something blows up or until someone clues her in on it. So remember, it can happen behind the scenes to you when you’re not aware of it.
Thank you Jane for your very important and timely contribution to this poorly understood phenomenon.
Coercive Control= Antagonistic Domination...which includes Isolation, disempowerment, gaslighting, belittling, shaming, ridiculing, and crucially altering the self-awareness of the abused to be dependent on, and even loving, the abuser. Once this process of destruction has become well-embedded in the victim's psyche it can become self-perpetuating and result in suicide.
Thank you for your hard work Jane. I found your audio book so informative and invaluable and have recommended it to sooo many people, personal and professional. Thank you again.
We need to get the word out about coercive control. I was stuck in it for 2,5 years, got out and straight into another one for 16 years. It is impossible to get out if you don't even have language for what's happening to you.
Thank you for sharing this. I have read the book Dangerous Relationships and how they end in murder.
I had no idea about "Coercive Control" or emotional & psychological abuse. I only discovered educational information post-separation when a former partner became more threatening, intimidating, and verbally aggressive after he terminated our relationship abruptly. It came as a shock when he moved on so quickly; he had jumped into a new relationship before ending our 11-year relationship.
I'm going to share this video to raise more awareness.
Very interesting how you describe Separation (anxiety) as being the main trigger for the controlling abuser. Many people on the Quora platform for Narcissistic abuse advocate leaving the abusive relationship quickly and quietly, but without giving adequate consideration to these triggering effects you describe.
This book is terrifying and informative. I am sending a link to the book to a recently separated friend right now. She needs to read it like YESTERDAY :-(
Also sending to my daughter.
This needs to be taught in high schools.
Thoughts on the Gabby Petito case?
Montecito?
I love your work so informative and caution for us women