Why everyone on Strictly sleeps together - The Mash Report

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  • Опубликовано: 9 сен 2024
  • Subscribe and 🔔 to the BBC 👉 bit.ly/BBCYouT...
    Watch the BBC first on iPlayer 👉 bbc.in/iPlayer... With robust reporting and up-to-the-minute analysis, Nish Kumar and a team of hilarious correspondents keep you up to date with everything that has happened - or not happened - this week.
    The Mash Report | Series 2 Episode 1 | BBC
    #themashreport
    #bbc
    All our TV channels and S4C are available to watch live through BBC iPlayer, although some programmes may not be available to stream online due to rights. If you would like to read more on what types of programmes are available to watch live, check the 'Are all programmes that are broadcast available on BBC iPlayer?' FAQ 👉 bbc.in/2m8ks6v.

Комментарии • 216

  • @davidmackayy
    @davidmackayy 2 года назад +94

    Absolutely cackled at this now that she’s just been announced for strictly 😭😭😭

  • @olivarionline
    @olivarionline 5 лет назад +942

    There's a reason why it's called "come dancing".

    • @mittfh
      @mittfh 5 лет назад +1

      Groan!

    • @sheniahasiamah9802
      @sheniahasiamah9802 5 лет назад +3

      No. Just...no.

    • @mikemondano3624
      @mikemondano3624 5 лет назад

      There is not actually anything that is called that. You foreigners need to learn English.

    • @olivarionline
      @olivarionline 5 лет назад +5

      @@mikemondano3624 www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006m8dq btw foreigners to what? To the English language? It's a national language of my country. Foreigner to the internet? Haha

    • @krashd
      @krashd 5 лет назад +6

      @@mikemondano3624 Except for one of the longest running talent shows on the planet you mean?
      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Come_Dancing

  • @flyawaytodie
    @flyawaytodie 2 года назад +28

    "One third of the presenters have died"
    Now *THAT* was an unexpected stat!

  • @daveharris8115
    @daveharris8115 5 лет назад +207

    as genuine as Tess Daly's smile... lmao

  • @iainstirling6978
    @iainstirling6978 2 года назад +83

    How funny is it that Ellie Taylor is now joining strictly for the 2022 show!

    • @roxiewynter8152
      @roxiewynter8152 2 года назад +1

      First thing I thought when I saw it!

    • @peterwilliamskelhorn6675
      @peterwilliamskelhorn6675 Год назад +3

      @@roxiewynter8152 but at least there would be no "strictly curse" with Ellie and Johannes (because Johannes is gay)

  • @gregcyr
    @gregcyr 5 лет назад +211

    It's a biological mystery that demands thorough and intensive study by dedicated, professional researchers. I see a magnificent research grant in the making.

    • @mikemondano3624
      @mikemondano3624 5 лет назад +2

      What would make money, as in "research grant", something magnificent? All piles of money are alike.

  • @mattevans4377
    @mattevans4377 3 года назад +114

    "1/3 of the presenters have died..."
    Meanwhile, one of the presenters on the show is literally corpsing, lol.

    • @Kartissa
      @Kartissa 3 года назад +17

      I get the impression from all these clips that Nish never reads or hears the other presenters' scripts until the live recording. Of course, he may just be an amazing actor....

    • @duncanbryson1167
      @duncanbryson1167 3 года назад +6

      I'm wondering if that was an ad lib 😊

    • @kimaboe
      @kimaboe 3 года назад +4

      @@Kartissa To quote Nish on Richard Herring's podcast, specifically referring to this show and his reactions, "I am a woeful actor".

    • @cruachan1191
      @cruachan1191 3 года назад +6

      Impressive that Ellie held it together there, but I think she was pretty close to corpsing too.

    • @dharmashark108
      @dharmashark108 2 года назад

      I actually don't get the joke, can someone explain please? 😅

  • @cdh5397
    @cdh5397 5 лет назад +113

    Love Ellies attempts at concealing her laughter

    • @markc8956
      @markc8956 3 года назад

      Which is what most people going to her shows have to do,as she's not funny

    • @DIPleasure
      @DIPleasure 2 года назад +9

      @@markc8956 People who go to her shows. Have to conceal their laugher. Because she's not funny.
      Did you seriously not read your comment before posting it?

    • @davidgibson3481
      @davidgibson3481 8 месяцев назад

      That final line sends me over the edge😂 comedy wise. Not sexually. I need guidance from Rachel Parrish!

  • @ef1876
    @ef1876 3 года назад +28

    Mary Fisher- Shark Eyed Marriage Torpedo had me in stitches

  • @barryfowles-zl5ib
    @barryfowles-zl5ib 5 лет назад +138

    Famous and beautiful women spend hours every week learning to dance with a handsome super-fit professional dancer, what could possibly go wrong within their marriage?

    • @craigkingdon4424
      @craigkingdon4424 5 лет назад +7

      Lol, it's normally the other way round

    • @toomuchinformation
      @toomuchinformation 3 года назад +1

      @@craigkingdon4424 Either way it's a recipe for di-saaar-ster!

  • @GozieZilla
    @GozieZilla 5 лет назад +595

    She's pregnant... she knows what she's talking about

    • @davidlance5310
      @davidlance5310 5 лет назад +3

      GozieZilla she either needs to get an abortion or send her kid to a better loving planet after giving birth. There’s mums who have to work on the street for money for their families and then there’s working on a trashy dystopian satire show overseen by the right wing media officials as a way to dumb their audience down otherwise they really are thrown out onto the street

    • @lead111
      @lead111 5 лет назад +55

      David Lance to follow in your footsteps?

    • @peteandurnot
      @peteandurnot 5 лет назад +31

      @@davidlance5310 if you hate the planet that much, then why are you still here? Just asking.

    • @LordAaronus
      @LordAaronus 5 лет назад +8

      still gon hit that

    • @TheGodlessGuitarist
      @TheGodlessGuitarist 5 лет назад +4

      @@davidlance5310 I take it you like the show then

  • @abh15funk
    @abh15funk 3 года назад +20

    OMG ! This show and its hosts are so bloody hilarious ! I could not stop laughing after Stephen said "A Toxic Cow" ! 😅😂🤣

  • @poppywillowx
    @poppywillowx Год назад +8

    love how she is on strixtly now

  • @ameliel8792
    @ameliel8792 5 лет назад +17

    'Imagine I have a fire in my vagina.' I just spat out my drink. Well done me!

    • @Bobcat_guy
      @Bobcat_guy 5 лет назад

      Amelie Astor well someone had to take out the fire 😂😂😂

  • @arnothill
    @arnothill 2 года назад +6

    Welcome to Strictly, Ellie! 😇

  • @bessieburnet9816
    @bessieburnet9816 Год назад +12

    3 years later, she's on Strictly, but good thing is she's dancing with the gay man. She's good.

  • @callumswords1524
    @callumswords1524 2 года назад +6

    And now she's on strictly 🤣

  • @jhc_fan
    @jhc_fan 3 года назад +5

    RIP Bruce Forsyth, Paul Daniels, Caroline Flack, Willie Thorne & Gary Rhodes

  • @fraserkatie
    @fraserkatie 5 лет назад +46

    Its taking the pee out of the furore between Seann and Katya! Lol lol so funny though!

    • @krashd
      @krashd 5 лет назад +23

      They are just the latest couple, the show is infamous for *"My spouse has no problem with me going on the show"* becoming *"Well we've just drifted apart and it has nothing to do with my dance partner"* after 6 weeks.
      Rachel Riley and several soap stars have dumped long term partners for dancers during the show and always used the same excuse *"Well being in the spotlight means they understand me better than my not famous partner that I've dated my whole adult life."*

  • @mark.lawrence
    @mark.lawrence 3 года назад +13

    we're such good friends lol lol... hilarious...

  • @rightasreign3807
    @rightasreign3807 5 лет назад +11

    This is why Dirty Dancing needs protection.

  • @defaultyorker6096
    @defaultyorker6096 5 лет назад +118

    I swear Nish Kumar would laugh at anything.

    • @borismuller86
      @borismuller86 5 лет назад +10

      Default: Yorker someone has to 🤷🏻‍♂️

    • @DanGolag
      @DanGolag 5 лет назад +5

      "LOL" ~ Nish Kumar.

    • @stephenguppy3466
      @stephenguppy3466 5 лет назад +12

      With all the money that unfunny, box-ticking idiot Kumar gets paid by the BBC,, he SHOULD be laughing.....

    • @1Chasg
      @1Chasg 5 лет назад +8

      He is one of those people who has to try to be funny and isn't naturally funny.

    • @rajanlad
      @rajanlad 4 года назад +3

      British Jimmy Fallon , perhaps

  • @markcampbell6767
    @markcampbell6767 2 года назад +3

    and she's now on strictly!

  • @davidlance5310
    @davidlance5310 5 лет назад +44

    Ellie’s all of us at the end & she & Nish & some of the other comedians are probably thinking “save me”

  • @marksinthehouse1968
    @marksinthehouse1968 3 года назад +10

    It’s like a legalised knocking shop ,strictly come bonking ,even the ITV news reader her partner is getting his leg over with her and I don’t mean the tango 😂😂

  • @S1L3NTG4M3R
    @S1L3NTG4M3R 3 года назад +7

    She's pregnant... she knows what she's talking about
    .... LOL

  • @KeithFraser82
    @KeithFraser82 3 года назад +14

    Interestingly, Shark-Eyed Marriage Torpedo, a neo-punk band from Galashiels, have also opened for Lee Mack.

    • @oliverstemp9132
      @oliverstemp9132 3 года назад

      It’s like they thought about it really hard before writing it

    • @kimaboe
      @kimaboe 3 года назад

      I had to google this to make sure...

  • @RIXRADvidz
    @RIXRADvidz 5 лет назад +20

    OMG FELICITY WARD!!!!!

  • @jassonsw
    @jassonsw 3 года назад +10

    Not everyone. Remember Ann Widdecombe was on it.

    • @jassonsw
      @jassonsw 3 года назад +3

      @mayson lee Haha :) Wanting and getting are two different things ;)

    • @bruh-ok5ks
      @bruh-ok5ks 3 года назад

      and caroline quentin is currently on it and she's with johannes (who's gay)

  • @brianmurray7407
    @brianmurray7407 5 лет назад +20

    the gorgeous ellie taylor

  • @charlesmilligan7778
    @charlesmilligan7778 3 года назад +8

    Brilliant British comedy

  • @spidercat2841
    @spidercat2841 3 года назад +3

    Love her sarcasm

  • @mikefahey3878
    @mikefahey3878 3 года назад +1

    THE ROOM NEXT DOOR!!!

  • @patylombard6991
    @patylombard6991 3 года назад +2

    Wait. What? It's SASSY SMURF! Good on you for your Ted Lasso gig!

  • @rodden1953
    @rodden1953 3 года назад +14

    Now the BBC have removed the Mash Report from the orders of the Government , so much for impartiality

  • @tommymcweedface229
    @tommymcweedface229 4 года назад +5

    Watched this and subscribed!

  • @jonblackk
    @jonblackk 3 года назад +5

    "Sex ghost" best scientific explanation

  • @johnbarton7543
    @johnbarton7543 3 года назад +17

    I was a hetro male dance teacher. Many women would do ANYTHING to dance with a good dancer who could make them look good. I just took what was on offer.

    • @johnbarton7543
      @johnbarton7543 3 года назад +2

      Just to add to my post. I'm nearly 87 and all I have now are my memories. But what memories!!!

    • @kimaboe
      @kimaboe 3 года назад +2

      @@johnbarton7543 I hope you've managed to recover fully from all the effort :p

  • @jane9875
    @jane9875 5 лет назад +8

    i should call it strictly come dating

  • @matafuko
    @matafuko 3 года назад +7

    I miss The Day Today.

  • @minikipp8549
    @minikipp8549 4 года назад +9

    We think the studios is haunted by sex ghosts

  • @knightstemplar1967
    @knightstemplar1967 5 лет назад +9

    Just simply watching it is a curse

  • @matthewnicholas6365
    @matthewnicholas6365 3 года назад +1

    That last comment 😂

  • @helipeek2736
    @helipeek2736 3 года назад +2

    The question on everybody’s lips “which third?”

  • @pasha12343
    @pasha12343 3 года назад +1

    Spot on 👍🙂

  • @Hinderlengjes
    @Hinderlengjes 3 года назад +6

    Michael Spicer before he was famous!

  • @JoostMehrtens
    @JoostMehrtens 3 года назад +5

    I thought they just forgot the N in "Strictly come 'n dancing"

  • @seankilburn7200
    @seankilburn7200 3 года назад

    next video: why everyone on love island keeps killing themselves

  • @PtolemyJones
    @PtolemyJones 5 лет назад +22

    "dogged" with controversy? Pretty sure dogging means something a bit different over there.

    • @jamesspackman9819
      @jamesspackman9819 3 года назад

      Yeah, the writers missed several laughs.
      It doesn't quite hit comedy heights.
      But that's probably just some knowingly ironic post-modern political statement for the snobbish metropolitan middle-classes who the show is produced by and for.
      Liberal snowflakes who don't need a punchline because they're already laughing at the joke they're about to tell you about how they were right about what they told you before about the link between Brexit and Coronavirus.
      Nish whatever-his-name-is could do with a custard pie or two.

  • @limeyfox
    @limeyfox 3 года назад

    Just think about what Ann Widdecombe got up to...

  • @anonymous2092
    @anonymous2092 5 лет назад +3

    Felicity Ward ❤️

  • @alanjackson2712
    @alanjackson2712 4 года назад +1

    Brilliant !!

  • @alanoneill3065
    @alanoneill3065 11 месяцев назад

    Was The Mash Report a remake of the Day Today?

  • @shelleylyme6402
    @shelleylyme6402 8 месяцев назад

    It's a publicly-funded BBC knocking shop.

  • @Longshanks1956
    @Longshanks1956 3 года назад +8

    The bigger question is where has all the comedy gone on the BBC?

    • @pickledaardvark1532
      @pickledaardvark1532 3 года назад +2

      The even bigger question is, if it was still there, how many people would be in a legal position to actually watch it.

    • @HD-dz4uk
      @HD-dz4uk 3 года назад +2

      Dave!!, other than that they just have the same group of politically correct planks.

    • @Geffo555
      @Geffo555 3 года назад

      The question now is what will we have to laugh at once all the satirical shows have been righty cancelled.

  • @ancan963
    @ancan963 2 года назад

    Was this based on the relationship of rachel riley and Pasa?

  • @petergrossett9236
    @petergrossett9236 3 года назад +6

    Try watching TW3 satire from the BBC, that was ground breaking, in the 60s. Mash report? Groin breaking? No just breaking wind!

  • @practicing1
    @practicing1 3 года назад +5

    So now everyone has to have a vaccine from strictologist

  • @jessicamilestone3934
    @jessicamilestone3934 4 года назад +1

    Brilliant

  • @caoimhedee
    @caoimhedee 3 года назад

    *cough* jamie and karen *cough*

  • @frombrum
    @frombrum 3 года назад +7

    waiting for fox news to pick this up as a serious report

    • @jamesspackman9819
      @jamesspackman9819 3 года назад

      I'm confused, it has nothing to do with Brexit...

  • @bazkib
    @bazkib 2 месяца назад

    Why not call it Strictly Shag City.

  • @peacock69mcp
    @peacock69mcp 4 года назад +1

    ❤😂😆😂😆😆❤

  • @sefman5851
    @sefman5851 5 лет назад +2

    Haaaa-Hahahaha

  • @amyclarke41
    @amyclarke41 3 года назад

    HM could be the relationship they had b4 wasn't great

  • @drewu213
    @drewu213 2 года назад

    That's because they are human.

  • @andrewfelcey5593
    @andrewfelcey5593 3 года назад

    Louise couldn't keep her Knicker on ,,,now she's a single mom with 2 kids.

  • @marcoc2555
    @marcoc2555 4 года назад +6

    The BBC didn't warn that this video contains adult humour.

  • @mrquirky3626
    @mrquirky3626 3 года назад +2

    I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure if you're a women getting a feeling of fire in your vagina, you should maybe consult a gynecologist.

  • @anthonyleighton4754
    @anthonyleighton4754 3 года назад +1

    The strictly curse - being made to watch it...

  • @brianmurray7407
    @brianmurray7407 4 года назад +14

    one of the funniest shows recently bbc bring it back again ignore the right-wingers who slate because it tells the truth and how the news should be done oh and she is a real babe and she is pregnant which makes her even more sexy

  • @neomasoeu3400
    @neomasoeu3400 5 лет назад +1

    Lol

  • @JohnSmith-kn1uq
    @JohnSmith-kn1uq 3 года назад +2

    Brits are best at comedy.

  • @martinlowe1457
    @martinlowe1457 3 года назад +2

    Shame the BBC were pressured to cancel The Mash Report. All because of po-faced Brexiters whose idea of a fun night out is attending a book burning.

    • @danimayb
      @danimayb 3 года назад

      It was a load of shit anyway nothing lost.

  • @wordsmithgobshite3296
    @wordsmithgobshite3296 5 лет назад +2

    Most people think manogamy is a type of wood

  • @2490debrick
    @2490debrick 5 лет назад +9

    Milky milky...

  • @fivish
    @fivish 3 года назад

    1/3 rd of the presenters have indeed died.
    The show is however better with just the two lady presenters.

  • @borismuller86
    @borismuller86 5 лет назад +13

    This segment was shit... until that final bit 🤭

  • @johnc08fan
    @johnc08fan 5 лет назад +13

    Just here to read angry right wing Brexit comments 😼.

    • @thehellyousay
      @thehellyousay 5 лет назад

      Oh, sorry, we seem to be out of fresh ones.
      Got some weeks old ones round the back...

  • @JAYDUB1279
    @JAYDUB1279 4 года назад

    this is funny

  • @BarterTom
    @BarterTom 5 лет назад +3

    What is this curse? Men and women shouldn’t fraternise!!!

  • @noneofurbizness5155
    @noneofurbizness5155 9 месяцев назад

    funny....if you have the mentality of a five year old

  • @k9pker
    @k9pker 5 лет назад

    0-100 so fast

  • @roblex63
    @roblex63 5 лет назад +18

    OMG... The mash report was actually funny for once....

    • @daveharris8115
      @daveharris8115 5 лет назад +9

      The Mash Report would be 100% better without Nish, whose only two gags seem to be, ohhh I'm a minority, and Wooahhh isnt Brexit really bad.

    • @1Chasg
      @1Chasg 5 лет назад +3

      @@daveharris8115 He is one of those people who has to try to be funny and isn't naturally funny.

  • @tobytroubs
    @tobytroubs 3 года назад +4

    Nish Kumar must be the unfunniest comedian on TV

  • @hungryOrb
    @hungryOrb 3 года назад +3

    BBC is so un-funny. Fade away..

  • @oiooi6460
    @oiooi6460 2 года назад

    They booked her for Strictly? At least we know it will be a little less funny this year

  • @pega1ag171
    @pega1ag171 5 лет назад

    Woudent mind sleeping with you even though I 64

  • @Saintbow
    @Saintbow 3 года назад

    Women, this is the look we men make when you walk around in yoga pants out in public...1:32

  • @blxtothis
    @blxtothis 3 года назад +3

    Unoriginal, formulaic and childish, perfect for the typical BBC audience!

  • @TheFunktipus1
    @TheFunktipus1 3 года назад +1

    Funny as brain cancer

  • @acephantom5244
    @acephantom5244 5 лет назад +2

    10th comment woooo

  • @things_i_say5951
    @things_i_say5951 5 лет назад +5

    Good for them. Sex should be celebrated, not shamed. Sex isn't a curse.

    • @krashd
      @krashd 5 лет назад +48

      Betrayal should never be celebrated, if you are incapable of fidelity then you should not go on these shows.

    • @knightowl3577
      @knightowl3577 5 лет назад +9

      Agreed but destroying your partner's life should not be celebrated.

    • @adam_p99
      @adam_p99 4 года назад

      Things_I_Say tell the judge that

    • @wunnell
      @wunnell 3 года назад +1

      The issue is not the sex. If it was single people then no one would bat an eyelid. It's about the infidelity and/or the destruction of existing relationships.
      That said, some relationships should have been destroyed long ago but too many people settle for a bad relationship over none at all. I'd suggest that Rachel Riley is an example of someone who would be considered part of this curse but who really should have separated from her husband before she went on Strictly at all. I'm sure that there are other examples too.

    • @gemstar7286
      @gemstar7286 Год назад

      @@wunnell Ben Cohen was another one , wasn't he already married ...then he got with a pro dancer and they had a baby together.

  • @jasperjones6206
    @jasperjones6206 3 года назад +1

    What a load of crap. Who thought this up?

  • @petersaunders747
    @petersaunders747 3 года назад +1

    Stopped watching it when they introduced two woman dancing!!

  • @simonw3330
    @simonw3330 3 года назад +2

    This show! What waste of time

  • @SakuraTempura
    @SakuraTempura 5 лет назад +5

    How is this programme supposed to be funny?

  • @jwmufc99
    @jwmufc99 5 лет назад +2

    Funny up until the 1/3 joke bad taste

    • @brydon5721
      @brydon5721 5 лет назад +7

      Death happens to all of us, so might as well laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

    • @alexw5085
      @alexw5085 4 года назад +4

      Arguably the best line in the "news" item :-D Caught the studio audience completely off-guard too!

  • @Mors_Inimicis
    @Mors_Inimicis 5 лет назад +1

    On first glance you think she may be quite attractive then the more you look at her you realise she isn’t at all🤔

    • @antred11
      @antred11 5 лет назад +5

      Who are you talking about?