I’m grateful for y’all. I went through a similar process. I had a magnetic attraction and married Narc Husband #2. A short time after marrying, I watched him morph into my Narc Husband #1!!!!! It was uncanny. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone! I thought I’d been so careful not to choose a similar man to #1, but #2 changed, showing his true narcissism, despite my efforts. I was so perplexed in my painful experience that could not be remedied through traditional methods. I had an awakening, during which I woke up to my pattern of attracting narcissists. I began to better understand the personality I was attracting, and then it was time to look at WHY. I knew I was the common denominator. I then made the connection to wounds from my childhood. Amazingly, I had denied the covert narc characteristics existing in my parent. I had to bring this forward to my consciousness and accept that my parent was abusive. I’m now in trauma therapy and exploring what my wounds ARE so that I can heal them. It takes hard work and time. I’m also spending a lot of time with myself and enjoying ME. I’m grateful to be a pattern breaker! Thanks, guys for your work.
I am listener of both of you for long time. I watched this video 3 years ago. helped me learn about truth and I was able to save my life. Thank you Vey much Ross and Meredith.
I never drank ayahuasca but lots of therapy over the years. A workshop called the Journey of the Inner Child stands out but there was a lot more involved. Eventually, I came to the realisation that the child within wasn’t fatally flawed and I wasn’t responsible for the abuse I suffered. I came to accept myself, warts and all, and the crushing loneliness disappeared. Currently, I live alone and in isolation, apart from my two beautiful cats but I am not lonely at all. To anyone reading this, understand that you’re not the problem and you never were. Just remember that self love is accepting everything about yourself, as perfection is an impossible and unrealistic goal.
Look forward to watch it. I see you and Meredith as warriors. Both of you are important figures in fighting Narcissism and creating a kinder more respectful world. There are others too like Dr Ramani and others ,I fallow topic of narcissistic abuse with a kind of obsession, because in my personal life and relationships I find your insights amazingly useful and I hope when I finished studying psychotherapy I use knowledge that you have thought me to help my clients have a narc-free ,codependency-free and more fulfilling life. Thanks guys you are champions!
Thank you for re-releasing this. I've learned something different through every step of recovery. Revisiting these videos, I've learned something new each time. Thank you Ross and Meredith for sharing your lessons and wisdom ❤
Thank you both. It warms my heart, and I get excited as the prospect to recognize pathological loneliness is cured by falling in love with ones self. Amazingly simple, so far away. "Whole"ing. Intergrating. Old world, new world practices meet. Thank you again.
This is just what I needed to hear. Been dreaming a lot about heavy subjects that I have been avoiding dealing with. I was just hoping after time it would just away on it’s own, but it’s been 4 or 5 years now. But when I dream, which isn’t too often, it’s like I just went through this a week ago. I have built a wall up around myself, trying not to get hurt by anything, but I realized just how much this is really hurting only me. I am the one sabatoging my own life now. Thank for your honest assessment on the matter, it gives me hope. I feel finally ready to take back what I gave away so easily. I liked the clear explanation on the pyramid levels. Great job to you both.
I do remember this video. Two people who change my life profoundly and I thank you so much💖 I started to learn about my narcissm childhood from Meredith videos and book. As she mentioned about Ross, then I found his SLRI webinars.
Separated from my second husband in April this year 2020. CNarc me the co dependent. I want love in my life and to not be alone so here I am working! Thank you for all of these.
Thank you for this recap. I remember when that original video was released and....I guess it has been three years later or now that I have such a deeper understanding of it, though its roots were forming at the time. I was frantically seeking answers, about one other person. More recently I have begun to feel and experience the pain of little me, who was humiliated, shamed, abandoned, drawing those connections. Of course I've felt this way my entire life! I recently listened to The Drama of the Gifted Child and have the physical book with me as well. I know I'm on a path, and I know it stops with me. My heart breaks for the helpless innocent child I was, that was so abandoned and abused, neglected to a degree where he was programmed so deeply, convinced that he was only worth something if it showed up on the pleased faces of others. Thank you, Ross Rosenberg and Meredith Miller 🙏
Thank you both for putting together the segment. I absolutely loved that there was out-of-the-box thinking in the sense of therapy options and what does and doesn’t work. Unlike you Ross, I’ve never been able to sustain a relationship longer than a year, and in a ball of flames and to be honest I think I’m like one of the nicest guys on the planet. But as you all had mentioned, awareness is the first step, so decades shrouded in mystery of how people who are physically abusive to their partners have an often on relationship for ages, but my relationships come with. And it doesn’t even seem like it’s a very Trumatic issue that were grounds for the end of the relationship, until A therapist which seem like magic but now I know isn’t magic per se there’s criteria and such, identified me as having disorganized attachment. I’m looking forward to giving your book ago, but I’m just stuck on the codependency thing because I’ve never consider myself codependent and intensely independent and tend to get very suffocated in relationships. I’ll try to see if there’s some other videos that maybe elaborate more on the concept of codependency or permutations of it. Thank you both for all your contributions, Ross a big thank you to you, because you are the only mental health professional that I’ve seen talk about narcissism in a way of learning to not gravitate to that personality phenotype. I can’t lie a pretty much shit myself when that pyramid segment came up because it makes complete sense I wish I had known this is an actual construct and not that I’m just Weird and flawed. I think you are probably the first mental health professional on RUclips that has actually given ownership to the “victim“ and why wouldn’t you, it makes complete logistical sense. All those years I wasted, watching those bozos and stupid things like no contact, don’t react, don’t do this, blah blah. And if there a true cluster B narcissistic personality disorder, well that really makes those “professionals“ look like insensitive jerks. As humans we always like to think that we know what another person’s experience is like, but in reality, that’s impossible. If one has true NPD, that sounds kind of like a miserable life and since it’s ego syntonic they live in a world where they don’t even realize it
Do you have to have had a narcissitic parent? I'm wondering if mine is from adoption/abandonment and the lack of emotional being from my adoptive mom. I definately fit the co depdendent spectrum.
That book blew my mind too! I had to read the first chapter three times in a row before I could even read on to the rest of the book. I was intensely skeptical about her book until I read her disclaimer up front.
Dear Mr. Rosenberg, The people of Nova Scotia have recently suffered the most extreme psychotic abuse, namely, the worst mass killing in Canadian history. On April 19, 22 of our loveliest people were taken from us. This situation is exacerbated with isolation from covid-19, and we being a rural province with a small population, where services are sometimes more difficult to access. I am asking the best psychologists, licensed therapists, and certified life coaches on RUclips to collectively participate in the Shout Out to Nova Scotia Campaign. While no one video will be a panacea, if you all could post a video encouraging survivors, and providing them with tips on beginning their healing journey, you could profoundly help many of those in need. With your professional understanding, and experience, towards abuse and trauma recovery, your words and wisdom could go a long way towards helping those with a long, difficult healing journey ahead, to at least take their first steps in the right direction, and also, towards inspiring the confidence necessary for knowing that recovery, while painful, is indeed possible. Thank you so much, in advance, and please use “Shout Out to Nova Scotia” as part of your video title, for best search results, if you choose to participate. Your friend, P.C.
Ross.. good video. I have a question. Although you talk about being the child of a narcissistic parent, it was to my understanding that you could be a child of many different types of dysfunctional parents, the perfectionistic, the alcoholic, etc, that can create this trauma and shame that leads, which is unbearable, that then leads to codependence, and hundreds of other different ways of acting out
What if narcissists are the only ones who will talk to you? And when they do if it does lead to anything plutonic or intimate, it is devastating when they discover the SlD inside and want to leave or abandon the SLD. That is what happens to me, I get dumped or can't draw interest from someone because the narc senses that I'm deficient in something that fulfils the fantasies of the narc. However, it is a natural thing for a human to not want to be alone, we aren't made to be alone, and when this fails over and over with a 20+ year space of not being touched or emotionally loved one starts to realise that it isn't going to happen for some reason having to do with oneself.
The word love like the word god for me doesn't really work anymore because both of those words are such loaded words, used up words that means so many different things. And love is mainly based on emotions and feelings that come and go. So that's why I don't base my sense of self by that overused word that can mean a hundred different things. It's just a sticky word, this word love, that entails a lot of expectation and overuse. I use the word goodness or Reason, or even sanity when it comes to substituting the word love, and so I don't ask do I love myself I asked am I being good to myself am I being sane with myself and other people. Let me put it in a kind of strange way, I would rather be at peace with myself then even love myself. Once again, love is such a psychologically sticky and overused and abused word. Instead of this word love and loving myself I find it much more effective and true to myself when I use words like balance and harmony with myself, being at one with myself.
@12:20...insane action. You opened yourself up for possession to anti-christ spirits. I hope that you will choose to repent to the real Jesus Christ of Nazareth. It is your choice though. Just don't lead others to open bad doors for "enlightenment".
I’m grateful for y’all. I went through a similar process. I had a magnetic attraction and married Narc Husband #2. A short time after marrying, I watched him morph into my Narc Husband #1!!!!! It was uncanny. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone! I thought I’d been so careful not to choose a similar man to #1, but #2 changed, showing his true narcissism, despite my efforts.
I was so perplexed in my painful experience that could not be remedied through traditional methods.
I had an awakening, during which I woke up to my pattern of attracting narcissists. I began to better understand the personality I was attracting, and then it was time to look at WHY. I knew I was the common denominator.
I then made the connection to wounds from my childhood. Amazingly, I had denied the covert narc characteristics existing in my parent. I had to bring this forward to my consciousness and accept that my parent was abusive.
I’m now in trauma therapy and exploring what my wounds ARE so that I can heal them. It takes hard work and time.
I’m also spending a lot of time with myself and enjoying ME.
I’m grateful to be a pattern breaker! Thanks, guys for your work.
Thank you Tracie for the support. Keep up the good work!
I am listener of both of you for long time. I watched this video 3 years ago. helped me learn about truth and I was able to save my life. Thank you Vey much Ross and Meredith.
I never drank ayahuasca but lots of therapy over the years. A workshop called the Journey of the Inner Child stands out but there was a lot more involved. Eventually, I came to the realisation that the child within wasn’t fatally flawed and I wasn’t responsible for the abuse I suffered. I came to accept myself, warts and all, and the crushing loneliness disappeared. Currently, I live alone and in isolation, apart from my two beautiful cats but I am not lonely at all. To anyone reading this, understand that you’re not the problem and you never were. Just remember that self love is accepting everything about yourself, as perfection is an impossible and unrealistic goal.
Two of my favorite people on narcissism. 😁
Look forward to watch it. I see you and Meredith as warriors. Both of you are important figures in fighting Narcissism and creating a kinder more respectful world. There are others too like Dr Ramani and others ,I fallow topic of narcissistic abuse with a kind of obsession, because in my personal life and relationships I find your insights amazingly useful and I hope when I finished studying psychotherapy I use knowledge that you have thought me to help my clients have a narc-free ,codependency-free and more fulfilling life. Thanks guys you are champions!
Thank you for re-releasing this. I've learned something different through every step of recovery. Revisiting these videos, I've learned something new each time.
Thank you Ross and Meredith for sharing your lessons and wisdom ❤
Thanks for re-watching. 🙂
Thank you, Ross and Meredith!
Thank you both. It warms my heart, and I get excited as the prospect to recognize pathological loneliness is cured by falling in love with ones self. Amazingly simple, so far away. "Whole"ing. Intergrating. Old world, new world practices meet. Thank you again.
Thank you for your comments and support Maria.
What a blessing to have this information at our fingertips. Thank you 🙏
So much love and gratitude for the work you both do.
Wonderful Kasia! For more information on Ross's resources, please visit www.selfloverecovery.com/ and humanmagnetsyndrome.com/hmsblog/
What a beautiful combo this is!!! Love it!! :)
This is exciting, can't wait!
awesome seeing u r working together...u r such a kind and precious people....thank u for the all the good information u r giving to us.
This is just what I needed to hear. Been dreaming a lot about heavy subjects that I have been avoiding dealing with. I was just hoping after time it would just away on it’s own, but it’s been 4 or 5 years now. But when I dream, which isn’t too often, it’s like I just went through this a week ago. I have built a wall up around myself, trying not to get hurt by anything, but I realized just how much this is really hurting only me. I am the one sabatoging my own life now. Thank for your honest assessment on the matter, it gives me hope. I feel finally ready to take back what I gave away so easily. I liked the clear explanation on the pyramid levels. Great job to you both.
Well put...."the very nature of trauma is transformative." Thank you!!!
Welcome Karen!
Wow! I really appreciate this conversation!!!!!!!
I do remember this video. Two people who change my life profoundly and I thank you so much💖 I started to learn about my narcissm childhood from Meredith videos and book. As she mentioned about Ross, then I found his SLRI webinars.
Thank you for your support
Separated from my second husband in April this year 2020. CNarc me the co dependent. I want love in my life and to not be alone so here I am working! Thank you for all of these.
You can do it Elaine! I am glad to know this material is helpful.
Thank you for this recap. I remember when that original video was released and....I guess it has been three years later or now that I have such a deeper understanding of it, though its roots were forming at the time. I was frantically seeking answers, about one other person.
More recently I have begun to feel and experience the pain of little me, who was humiliated, shamed, abandoned, drawing those connections. Of course I've felt this way my entire life! I recently listened to The Drama of the Gifted Child and have the physical book with me as well.
I know I'm on a path, and I know it stops with me. My heart breaks for the helpless innocent child I was, that was so abandoned and abused, neglected to a degree where he was programmed so deeply, convinced that he was only worth something if it showed up on the pleased faces of others.
Thank you, Ross Rosenberg and Meredith Miller 🙏
Thank you both for putting together the segment. I absolutely loved that there was out-of-the-box thinking in the sense of therapy options and what does and doesn’t work. Unlike you Ross, I’ve never been able to sustain a relationship longer than a year, and in a ball of flames and to be honest I think I’m like one of the nicest guys on the planet. But as you all had mentioned, awareness is the first step, so decades shrouded in mystery of how people who are physically abusive to their partners have an often on relationship for ages, but my relationships come with. And it doesn’t even seem like it’s a very Trumatic issue that were grounds for the end of the relationship, until A therapist which seem like magic but now I know isn’t magic per se there’s criteria and such, identified me as having disorganized attachment. I’m looking forward to giving your book ago, but I’m just stuck on the codependency thing because I’ve never consider myself codependent and intensely independent and tend to get very suffocated in relationships. I’ll try to see if there’s some other videos that maybe elaborate more on the concept of codependency or permutations of it. Thank you both for all your contributions, Ross a big thank you to you, because you are the only mental health professional that I’ve seen talk about narcissism in a way of learning to not gravitate to that personality phenotype. I can’t lie a pretty much shit myself when that pyramid segment came up because it makes complete sense I wish I had known this is an actual construct and not that I’m just Weird and flawed. I think you are probably the first mental health professional on RUclips that has actually given ownership to the “victim“ and why wouldn’t you, it makes complete logistical sense. All those years I wasted, watching those bozos and stupid things like no contact, don’t react, don’t do this, blah blah. And if there a true cluster B narcissistic personality disorder, well that really makes those “professionals“ look like insensitive jerks. As humans we always like to think that we know what another person’s experience is like, but in reality, that’s impossible. If one has true NPD, that sounds kind of like a miserable life and since it’s ego syntonic they live in a world where they don’t even realize it
Woow, thank you so much for the information
Love you Dr.Rosenberg and Meredith!
Thank you for this!!!
You're so welcome!
Yey! Can't wait! 😇
I love both of you so much!!! Nice people!! ♥️♥️
2 earth angels ❤️
A cure in lieu of a recovery! I love that!
This showed up on my RUclips page! This is very helpful!
Glad it helped!
Standing by.
Do you have to have had a narcissitic parent? I'm wondering if mine is from adoption/abandonment and the lack of emotional being from my adoptive mom. I definately fit the co depdendent spectrum.
That book blew my mind too! I had to read the first chapter three times in a row before I could even read on to the rest of the book. I was intensely skeptical about her book until I read her disclaimer up front.
Thank you, so true and helpful!
So glad it was helpful Nina!
Dear Mr. Rosenberg, The people of Nova Scotia have recently suffered the most extreme psychotic abuse, namely, the worst mass killing in Canadian history. On April 19, 22 of our loveliest people were taken from us. This situation is exacerbated with isolation from covid-19, and we being a rural province with a small population, where services are sometimes more difficult to access. I am asking the best psychologists, licensed therapists, and certified life coaches on RUclips to collectively participate in the Shout Out to Nova Scotia Campaign. While no one video will be a panacea, if you all could post a video encouraging survivors, and providing them with tips on beginning their healing journey, you could profoundly help many of those in need. With your professional understanding, and experience, towards abuse and trauma recovery, your words and wisdom could go a long way towards helping those with a long, difficult healing journey ahead, to at least take their first steps in the right direction, and also, towards inspiring the confidence necessary for knowing that recovery, while painful, is indeed possible. Thank you so much, in advance, and please use “Shout Out to Nova Scotia” as part of your video title, for best search results, if you choose to participate. Your friend, P.C.
Thanks again! Very helpful.
Glad it was helpful!
Ross.. good video. I have a question. Although you talk about being the child of a narcissistic parent, it was to my understanding that you could be a child of many different types of dysfunctional parents, the perfectionistic, the alcoholic, etc, that can create this trauma and shame that leads, which is unbearable, that then leads to codependence, and hundreds of other different ways of acting out
Can you clarify more about what family types create, trauma and shame?
I agree with the solution
That diagram is really informative.
Aisling Ying I agree!
Fabulosity! X2! TY!! 👌😎😁
Thank you Maria!
love you both ...
What if narcissists are the only ones who will talk to you? And when they do if it does lead to anything plutonic or intimate, it is devastating when they discover the SlD inside and want to leave or abandon the SLD. That is what happens to me, I get dumped or can't draw interest from someone because the narc senses that I'm deficient in something that fulfils the fantasies of the narc. However, it is a natural thing for a human to not want to be alone, we aren't made to be alone, and when this fails over and over with a 20+ year space of not being touched or emotionally loved one starts to realise that it isn't going to happen for some reason having to do with oneself.
👍💕
22:00: "It ends with me"
These vids are so helpful however I'd like someone to do a video on MST and it's long-lasting effects.
The word love like the word god for me doesn't really work anymore because both of those words are such loaded words, used up words that means so many different things. And love is mainly based on emotions and feelings that come and go. So that's why I don't base my sense of self by that overused word that can mean a hundred different things. It's just a sticky word, this word love, that entails a lot of expectation and overuse. I use the word goodness or Reason, or even sanity when it comes to substituting the word love, and so I don't ask do I love myself I asked am I being good to myself am I being sane with myself and other people. Let me put it in a kind of strange way, I would rather be at peace with myself then even love myself. Once again, love is such a psychologically sticky and overused and abused word. Instead of this word love and loving myself I find it much more effective and true to myself when I use words like balance and harmony with myself, being at one with myself.
omg this is me.........
I’m not having people from the past coming back. I’m so not accepting drama back. Better alone than having another narcissist boyfriend in my life.
"or you disagree with people and you think it's funny" 22:45 lol, because it is, it is ok to have your own opinion, lol.
Agreement amen bless you.
@12:20...insane action. You opened yourself up for possession to anti-christ spirits. I hope that you will choose to repent to the real Jesus Christ of Nazareth. It is your choice though. Just don't lead others to open bad doors for "enlightenment".