Being an INFJ male and trying to conform to societal norms is a downright tragedy; what is more, if you succeed in that endeavour then deep down you will know you're a failure. Hold on to your Inner Truth. (Great video as always, Ren!!)
I dont mean to be so off topic but does anyone know a tool to log back into an Instagram account..? I stupidly forgot my login password. I love any tricks you can give me
@Calvin Lyle Thanks so much for your reply. I found the site through google and Im waiting for the hacking stuff atm. Takes a while so I will reply here later with my results.
When i need to freed myself from the question "how do those people see me ?", i try to remind myself that .... it's already too late. Everybody judges everybody, all the time, everywhere, and those judgements usually takes very little time. So no matter what you do, what you don't do, you have been judged already and ... you have no more reason to censure or restrict yourself in any way.
You're right, Tsen Jin, but I would add that there will always be some people - not many, that's for sure - who will relate to you more deeply than quick judgers... which is why I think it's important to be oneself, so that these people, who are worth it, can really get access to who you are, and appreciate it for what it is.
Ti-emphasis in INFJ males is accurate, in my experience. I wouldn't say that introverted thinking is all that stressful for me, but it made my Fe suffer, and I am just now coming into mature Fe (in the past 2 years), and I'm 33
I got married pretty young and started having kids almost immediately. I got into IT as a career, not because I was fascinated by it, but because it takes money to support a family. 17 years later and it still feels like I'm swimming upstream constantly. No doubt I've learned quite a bit, and I finally don't hate my job, but it's still just the thing I do to pay the bills. About a year ago it hit me 'out of the blue' that I wanted to make a podcast about world religions and spiritual practices and the shared ideas that can be found between so many of them (how very Ti & Fe, right?). It's still very much a hobby thing at the moment, but I finally have something that energizes me. I'd never understood the people I've worked with in IT that just love what they do, but I think I'm finally starting to understand. Renaud makes a great point. We just need to be unapologetic about what our real strengths are and forget about the stereotypes.
This whole part is so true 15:50 when you show your true self because it's hard to maintain the "fake" persona they start to see you in a different light. It feels like you disappoint them in some way for showing that you're actually have emotions. That's why I barely show it now. Fu#k them if that's what they want I won't show them my true personality. Depending on the person you're dealing with. Most if them don't want to see your sift side
I am double your age & am an INFJ. It's been an interesting journey, however harsh. Never really fit in with the mainstream culture. To each their own....
I am thinking as I listen to your post and read these comments, that you will naturally migrate toward the environment that allows you to be your authentic self in your maleness or INFJ ness, rather than to try to force your idea of maleness or Infjness into an environment that does not fit. It seems you have accepted and embraced who you are in a very thoughtful and intelligent manner.
Ren, I really like watching your videos (while not being an INFJ) because you just appear pure and honest. There are lots of INFJ videos on youtube, and most give some sort of advice (actually - they typically tend to), but most kinda stay away from being very personal or actually open about themselves. There's a very clear difference between them being the providers of some sort of "broad, general advice", while at the same time avoiding to add anything personal about them and these subjects. I could watch 20 of their videos, while still having no clue who they really are or what they're really thinking about anything. These videos kind of feel hollow to me, because in the end it's unclear what I'm really watching. It's not a person...it's a show. A show on itself is not a problem, but the problem is that for a "show" to be interesting it needs to be thought out well, scripted and contain a lot of other content in order to be interesting, because otherwise it appears hollow. A person who's sharing their genuine thoughts and is willing to not keep a distance the subject they're discussing, automatically makes any given subject that is discussed more interesting, because it becomes 3-dimensional and gets depth without having to try hard to construct it.
As an INFJ male demisexual, I completely relate to this, especially in the romantic sphere. We are different and the more you try to fight it, the more you will end up hating yourself. Hs and college were nightmares since hookups simply don't work for me and I tried really hard to fit in with the norm, but had to accept it just wasn't for me and I needed real emotion to sleep with someone.
Also took years to learn that fully embracing yourself and being free is probably the sexiest thing we as infj men can do cause then we naturally stand out
Thanks for sharing your perspective on this. I think all male feelers may face this struggle on some level. You are absolutely right about being yourself - there are always people out there who appreciate authenticity, insight, and creativity. Hang in there, brothers!
It's the same thing with INFJ females who are actually not very feminine or the things that the female stereotype should want, INFJ women just don't. For instance, not that INFJ women don't want to get married, I find that a lot of us hardly ever turn into bridezillas and the wedding just isn't that important to us. In fact we find the whole ritual exhausting. Well I do.
As an INFJ woman I completely agree with this...I once told a priest-friend "I'm not concerned about the wedding, I'm concerned about who it is that will be waiting for me at the end of the aisle (ie the altar)". The dress, the cake and the party are very distant secondary concerns vs who it is I'll actually be marrying.
Wow. I've been thinking about this a lot recently as I spend a lot of time alone. I've heard Enid. F talk about how Fe can socially engineer the user as much as its audience, and I can definitely see that being a thing. I definitely don't love being a feeler yet, but thanks for enlightening me to the fact I'm a rational feeler and not a sensitive thinker. My enneagram type is 5, so maybe I'm actually more cerebral than most INFJs, but I'm guessing I'm just full of shit, and will try and find self acceptance. Thanks for the insight, Ren! :)
Steven universe always makes me cry, especially that one scene when steven sings Change your mind, it was so beautiful in its honesty and simplicity I dont need you to respect me I respect me.. I dont need you to love me I love me.. but I want you to know you could know me if you change your miiiiind, if you change your miiiiind, if you change your miiiiind, if you change your miiiiiiind... *gets emotionally punched in the heart* 😭😊😭😊😭😊😭😊😭 damn it.. it hurts so good...
Is that a map of Dublin I see on your shelf back there? I watched a number of your videos and I wondered how your English sounded familiar, how you pronounced some words like 'that' and 'cutting' sound unmistakably like a Dubliner would.
@@RensRoom That's great, the accent has really rubbed off on you, you were definitely here when things got though. lol, you missed some classic weather here too. The Sunday before St.Patrick's day, I was showing two French people around on a sunny day, then the clouds started to darken, winds picked up, then it rained, then it hailed, and a snow blizzard, then back to sunny again all in the space of 1 hour.
You seem quite ENFP to me. Your body movements are all over the place, eye movement is quite irratic and your thoughts go in many different directions and will follow a random thought where it goes. Just a type you may want to consider.
The first thing I thought about after I read the title was, “what if I identify as a masculine spirit in a biologically female body?” Just a funny thought :’)
Being an INFJ male and trying to conform to societal norms is a downright tragedy; what is more, if you succeed in that endeavour then deep down you will know you're a failure.
Hold on to your Inner Truth.
(Great video as always, Ren!!)
Thanks, Cian! Appreciate your comments and support :)
I dont mean to be so off topic but does anyone know a tool to log back into an Instagram account..?
I stupidly forgot my login password. I love any tricks you can give me
@Elon Kamden Instablaster =)
@Calvin Lyle Thanks so much for your reply. I found the site through google and Im waiting for the hacking stuff atm.
Takes a while so I will reply here later with my results.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
When i need to freed myself from the question "how do those people see me ?", i try to remind myself that .... it's already too late. Everybody judges everybody, all the time, everywhere, and those judgements usually takes very little time. So no matter what you do, what you don't do, you have been judged already and ... you have no more reason to censure or restrict yourself in any way.
You're right, Tsen Jin, but I would add that there will always be some people - not many, that's for sure - who will relate to you more deeply than quick judgers... which is why I think it's important to be oneself, so that these people, who are worth it, can really get access to who you are, and appreciate it for what it is.
The quote " People who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind" did help me a lot. I hope it helps u too ❤
Thanks. Mostly enjoyed that "You are a Feeler. Accept that. Embrace it, that is your person."
Cheers, David!
Ti-emphasis in INFJ males is accurate, in my experience. I wouldn't say that introverted thinking is all that stressful for me, but it made my Fe suffer, and I am just now coming into mature Fe (in the past 2 years), and I'm 33
I got married pretty young and started having kids almost immediately. I got into IT as a career, not because I was fascinated by it, but because it takes money to support a family. 17 years later and it still feels like I'm swimming upstream constantly. No doubt I've learned quite a bit, and I finally don't hate my job, but it's still just the thing I do to pay the bills. About a year ago it hit me 'out of the blue' that I wanted to make a podcast about world religions and spiritual practices and the shared ideas that can be found between so many of them (how very Ti & Fe, right?). It's still very much a hobby thing at the moment, but I finally have something that energizes me. I'd never understood the people I've worked with in IT that just love what they do, but I think I'm finally starting to understand. Renaud makes a great point. We just need to be unapologetic about what our real strengths are and forget about the stereotypes.
This whole part is so true 15:50 when you show your true self because it's hard to maintain the "fake" persona they start to see you in a different light. It feels like you disappoint them in some way for showing that you're actually have emotions. That's why I barely show it now. Fu#k them if that's what they want I won't show them my true personality. Depending on the person you're dealing with. Most if them don't want to see your sift side
I am double your age & am an INFJ. It's been an interesting journey, however harsh. Never really fit in with the mainstream culture. To each their own....
Thanks for your comment, Sonny. Hope you are good where you are at :)
I am thinking as I listen to your post and read these comments, that you will naturally migrate toward the environment that allows you to be your authentic self in your maleness or INFJ ness, rather than to try to force your idea of maleness or Infjness into an environment that does not fit. It seems you have accepted and embraced who you are in a very thoughtful and intelligent manner.
I enjoy your vast English as a French person. You clearly use the English language regularly. Bravo for your well said video!
Ren, I really like watching your videos (while not being an INFJ) because you just appear pure and honest. There are lots of INFJ videos on youtube, and most give some sort of advice (actually - they typically tend to), but most kinda stay away from being very personal or actually open about themselves. There's a very clear difference between them being the providers of some sort of "broad, general advice", while at the same time avoiding to add anything personal about them and these subjects. I could watch 20 of their videos, while still having no clue who they really are or what they're really thinking about anything. These videos kind of feel hollow to me, because in the end it's unclear what I'm really watching. It's not a person...it's a show.
A show on itself is not a problem, but the problem is that for a "show" to be interesting it needs to be thought out well, scripted and contain a lot of other content in order to be interesting, because otherwise it appears hollow. A person who's sharing their genuine thoughts and is willing to not keep a distance the subject they're discussing, automatically makes any given subject that is discussed more interesting, because it becomes 3-dimensional and gets depth without having to try hard to construct it.
Yes
You have a very good point. Acknowledging that I am a feeler is something I need to work on. You mentioned so many things that could help me.
As an INFJ male demisexual, I completely relate to this, especially in the romantic sphere. We are different and the more you try to fight it, the more you will end up hating yourself. Hs and college were nightmares since hookups simply don't work for me and I tried really hard to fit in with the norm, but had to accept it just wasn't for me and I needed real emotion to sleep with someone.
Also took years to learn that fully embracing yourself and being free is probably the sexiest thing we as infj men can do cause then we naturally stand out
Thanks for sharing your perspective on this. I think all male feelers may face this struggle on some level. You are absolutely right about being yourself - there are always people out there who appreciate authenticity, insight, and creativity. Hang in there, brothers!
Thank youuuu! :D
Great video Ren! keep up the good work!
Thanks Victor! I hope you’ve been well in Brazil :)
@@RensRoom i've been great! Even beter when I watch some good video!
@@minok7374 Oh, you charmer :P Thanks man!
Yep
Your awesome
I appreciate all your efforts. Thank you. 👍💯
It's the same thing with INFJ females who are actually not very feminine or the things that the female stereotype should want, INFJ women just don't. For instance, not that INFJ women don't want to get married, I find that a lot of us hardly ever turn into bridezillas and the wedding just isn't that important to us. In fact we find the whole ritual exhausting. Well I do.
This is a great perspective, Elfen. My girlfriend is INFJ and she is EXACTLY like the way you describe!
As an INFJ woman I completely agree with this...I once told a priest-friend "I'm not concerned about the wedding, I'm concerned about who it is that will be waiting for me at the end of the aisle (ie the altar)". The dress, the cake and the party are very distant secondary concerns vs who it is I'll actually be marrying.
Wow. I've been thinking about this a lot recently as I spend a lot of time alone. I've heard Enid. F talk about how Fe can socially engineer the user as much as its audience, and I can definitely see that being a thing. I definitely don't love being a feeler yet, but thanks for enlightening me to the fact I'm a rational feeler and not a sensitive thinker. My enneagram type is 5, so maybe I'm actually more cerebral than most INFJs, but I'm guessing I'm just full of shit, and will try and find self acceptance. Thanks for the insight, Ren! :)
I've been busy. I need to download these new videos and catch up this weekend.
It would be lovely to hear your thoughts on these, Iain. Take your time!
Steven universe always makes me cry, especially that one scene when steven sings Change your mind, it was so beautiful in its honesty and simplicity
I dont need you to respect me I respect me.. I dont need you to love me I love me.. but I want you to know you could know me if you change your miiiiind, if you change your miiiiind, if you change your miiiiind, if you change your miiiiiiind...
*gets emotionally punched in the heart* 😭😊😭😊😭😊😭😊😭 damn it.. it hurts so good...
You need to upload more Ren boi ❤
Is that a map of Dublin I see on your shelf back there?
I watched a number of your videos and I wondered how your English sounded familiar, how you pronounced some words like 'that' and 'cutting' sound unmistakably like a Dubliner would.
Haha yes it is :) I lived in Ireland from 2006 to 2013. Miss it a lot.... except the weather, ha!
@@RensRoom That's great, the accent has really rubbed off on you, you were definitely here when things got though. lol, you missed some classic weather here too. The Sunday before St.Patrick's day, I was showing two French people around on a sunny day, then the clouds started to darken, winds picked up, then it rained, then it hailed, and a snow blizzard, then back to sunny again all in the space of 1 hour.
♥️♥️♥️
Its 1-3% not 0.5%
You seem quite ENFP to me. Your body movements are all over the place, eye movement is quite irratic and your thoughts go in many different directions and will follow a random thought where it goes. Just a type you may want to consider.
The first thing I thought about after I read the title was, “what if I identify as a masculine spirit in a biologically female body?”
Just a funny thought :’)
Or even the opposite, "a female spirit in a biologically male body." Sounds like Androgyny a bit to me, and I think INFJs are even that!