Me either. I finally told my mom at 16 that I had anorexia and bulimia. She stayed calm, but said "let's look at it logically. Does it make sense to act on those thoughts?" I started crying and said "of course it doesnt make sense, that's why it's called a disorder." She never talked to me about it again, never offered to get me help. It was never mentioned again. But she did continue to always say how much she hated the way her body looks and how fat she felt.
4 года назад+6
@@tayalcu6750 My mom is just like yours, I cant tell her anything but when I told her "i cant tell you anything personal" she said "Like what?! What is so personal that i dont know?" and continued to yell "Tell me!" though i was uncomfortable and never told her because if i did she would say "you always play the victim" or avoid my problems so in her mind there not there and she can portray me as a perfect daughter.
I wish bulimia got more attention. Bulimia on its own, and not a combination of anorexia and bulimia. Just bulimia. I think a lot of people would relate and understand eating disorders more if we included all of them.
ʜᴏᴇs sᴀᴅ I know right, the major lack of representation hurts. my suffering doesn’t feel valid at all. no one cares unless you’re underweight and look like you’re dying.
Yes. Like I passed through that, for months, nobody realized because in the end I didn’t look like I was about to passed out, I looked “healthy” so nobody noticed. It hurt when nobody believed me that I was bad, so I had to pass through that alone...
The control you fear losing though is anorexia taking control. You fight to maintain the behaviours AND you fight the people who are trying to separate you from your behaviours. To gain control? You have to put down your weapon and accept others to help defend you from anorexia.
If you’re a parent or family member of someone with an ed and they have entrusted you to cook for them. DO NOT DO WHAT THIS MOTHER DID and hide extra calories in the food. That’s so messed up. The person you’re ‘caring for’ will lose all trust in you, and they need you; they need someone they can trust. They also need to be accountable for what they’re eating and to do that they need to know whats in it. They also need to report their intake to nurses etc, who monitor that against weight, so it messes that up too and can lead to professionals thinking they are misreporting. Playing games like this won’t help anything. It’s not just this mother who I’ve heard of doing this, I’ve seen it it other similar documentaries too. Please don’t do it!
Apart from that it is actually dangerous to hand an unfed body too many calories. It can be so hard on the heart, that you actually can die from a fatty heart while anorexic.
Moonshadow Garden very true. I always get high cholesterol when in inpatient after not having any fat in my diet for so long. All the drs I’ve met have told me it’s common in anorexia recovery and a sign of refeeding syndrome.
Melina Burkhardt can’t tell if you’re joking or not but if you are it isn’t something to be sarcastic about. I’m fully recovered now but then if someone smuggled an extra spoon of butter into my noodles it would have been so detrimental to my recovery in specific points. A spoonful of butter means the world to an extreme anorexic like I was and I already had no trust in myself, if I was to lose the trust in my loved ones it would have probably killed me. Also, it’s a mental illness. Not a physical one. You need to repair the mental health, not focus on secretly trying to make the sufferer gain weight. It’s really is such a misunderstood illness. If you’re not joking then I’m sorry, just trying to spread a bit of awareness. Xx
@@scarlettorourke8705 No joking. 😰 I wouldn't dream of doing such a wicked thing, please believe me. Just a repenting mum wanting to reach out and be honest and open. As a warning maybe for other helpless mums? No offence, wishing you all the best on your journey.
This came up on my recommendations for some reason and I watched it even though the subject touches a part of my life I have put behind me. I got sick in anorexia when I was 15 and I am now almost 43 with four beautiful children and husband. I remember being told it takes 6 months to get anorexia and 7 years to get well. It was so true. It took a long time and I knew I was free from anorexia when there was no food that was not “allowed”. I had to stop being a vegetarian to get better. It was so easy to use as an excuse not to eat something someone was serving. Another milestone was when I did not care that I ate more than the other people that was eating with me. I was free!!!!My oldest daughter is now 15 and I recently told her about my teenage struggles and she was shocked. “But mamma you love your food, I can’t believe it”. I told her all about my lost years and how fantastic life is on the other side. Life is great. My parents and siblings love got me through it and my fear of not being able to have children. I got better because I knew life could be great again. Love to everyone that is still suffering.💕
Thank you for your heartfelt comment @westclare75 - proof you truly can come through the other side. Great advice - you can be such a great role model for your kids and others. Thank you for sharing your journey!
Attitude Thank you! I was unsure about telling my oldest daughter, I have three but two of them are too young to benefit from hearing my story, but my sister had told her daughter about me. She told the daughter my story because her daughter was talking about dieting to loose weight and I felt that it would not be right for my daughter to find out about my anorexia/bulimia story from her cousin. My story has help both girls to keep a healthy relationship with their bodies and food. All I can do now is to continue to set a good example by my actions.
westclare75 I’m so happy you shared this it has made me realise that what I’m going through is only a small part of my life and people can help me and I can have a life other than this disorder and I feel like my biggest worry during this pain is the fact that I could potentially not be able to have children in the future and this really helps to know that someone like me has now got a life and people around them. I just worry I have been broken before I have even lives properly. This will always stay in my mind Thank you so much your amazing 😁
This is ACTUALLY incredible. I hope many eating disorder sufferers see this. It is a unique, VERY insightful perspective on the illness. p.s. Your parents REALLY got it on a deep level...which is unusual. Bravo to all of you.
its hones,t and does not glamorize the illness at all. there is no mention of wight, numbers, or 'horrific pictures' of how 'bad' she looked. too often, its like a freak show, when media report on anorexia. It is real, and how it is. it destroys relationships, destroys you as a person
My father freaking yelled at me and threatened not to cook for me and my mom told me everyday how skinny I am and that I should eat more . By the way I am anorexic ..... my family is messed up .
I love the introduction so much I have it in my notes page. What an amazing way to describe a terrible condition. Another quote that reminds me of the condition is “A terrible way to live, a terrible way to die.” A touching video, it makes me want to get better. A silent killer. I hope everybody finds peace with themselves x
I absolutely understand the part where she was reading back through her journals and didn't seem to recognize her mindset. I felt the exact same way going back through my own diary when my ED was at it's worst. I didn't even recognize myself, and the way I was talking. I'm still anorexic/EDNOS, but I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be.
Kailah Butler I am recovery from heroin addiction and I look back on myself when I was using and I don’t recognize myself at all, I almost feel like it was a different person, except I remember all the emotions and pain so viscerally.
Great jog. I jave a daughter who has anorexia and bulemia. She switches. She is 30 years old and has refused help. She also moved to a different state. It's so hard to watch her and know she is in pain. I don't want to loose her. Thanks for sharing your story.
this is the ED content i needed. looking at anorexic brain vs normal brain and how much of a struggle it was before recovery. that’s what all struggling young people need. NOT glarmorising ed content, but THIS ✨
I can understand what she is going through. I am now 65 but when I was 20 I became anorexic and for 2 years food actually scared me and I just wouldn't eat. My mother put me in the hospital and they wouldn't release me until I got up to 95 pounds. That was still thin but I was actually eating.
Kathy Harrington - Good for you and congradulation on your recovery, i hope you have had it easier since then and you have been able to live a relatively good and kind life :)
To recover from anorexia you must heal the mind as well as the body. Force feeding an anorexic person back into a "healthy" weight isn't enough. Anorexia doens't have a look.
what an inspiring family for showing unconditional love throughout the terrifying process! so glad she’s on the mend and able to talk so freely about her struggles because you never know, these powerful words may reach someone in the same situation xx lots of love :)
This is Chloe Lafon- I've seen it twice and even though I don't suffer from an ED this is the most realistic documentary I've ever seen. Enjoy and hope you get better! ruclips.net/video/J2ntMjtrPkc/видео.html&lc=z23wivgzmyfkjdbj204t1aokgpvw2dlgxmn4mwcizy1tbk0h00410.1528984367630776
Yeah this girl recovered/ is on that journey in a positive way and says it’s “The hardest thing” she’s “ever done”. Yet she’s only 2 years in, and didn’t get to the point of needing inpatient/mental health legislative intervention. This is why early diagnosis and treatment is so important. The longer it goes on the harder it is to pull yourself out.
itskimm._ I didn’t say or even infer such a thing. My point is that she benefited from early intervention, as she ought to have received, but that not everybody has early access to treatment at the most pivotal time in their disorder. Please read comments properly before leaving an unwarranted sarcastic response.
What a wonderful family, all very introspective and in tune with their feelings. They are also very brave to be willing to share such a private experience. This will certainly serve as an inspirational source for others suffering from this awful illness.
Tracey Gold hit the nail on the head for me when she said "I know this disease will never really go away, but I can be stronger than it, I can make it" For me it is a daily battle.....
Her: “I was really afraid of carbs or dairy, so she would tell me all the good things about carbs and dairy. And then I’d go off and research about it. And realized it wasn’t actually too bad.” That hit me. Such a good point. Looking up the nutrients in the food your eating can be very beneficial. To see, your body is receiving A B and C from eating this or that. Makes it seem more healthy.
What an incredibly well-spoken & insightful young woman. She's obviously made this difficult journey a part of her past, but the wisdom gained is now & forever. Hold tight to it! You're amazing in your honesty, which can only help others struggling with their own issues (and feeling very alone in it). God Bless!
So proud of Arley (cute name) and her family! I love that her Mom acted on her instincts and went with her own plan. I love how the Dad told the townsfolk without hesitation, showing himself to be a real leader. I love how the sister was ready and willing to go to bat for her. And I love that Arley fought for her family and now fights for herself, too.
Arley Gower.....you are a very brave young woman to talk about your anorexia so deeply. You are even more braver that you are concurring this deadly disease. For any young woman or man struggling with this, your story will be their beacon of light. Your a champion.
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my RUclips channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
I fell far aswell, no breakfast no snacks throughout the entire day would only have dinner because I was forced to eat with my parents, but that didn’t stop me I would purge my “dinner” and put in a glass of water and a piece of chewing gum. That was it. It was smt like 20 calories a day. When I mum found out my privacy was stripped away, if I left the house my mum or dad was with me. If I was in the toilet, my mum would wait outside the door she would watch me eat every meal and snack. I made a rapid hole out of that hell. On the surface, I recovered easily and I must have just been pathetic. But underneath... all the time I was alone... I was crying... most the time I would cry myself to sleep. I had a diary that might aswell be called the “the book of hatred” because of all the words I would say about my parents. As much as I got out of a toxic hole, I fell into another one... depression. In the end I went back to anorexia, I felt in control I liked how much weight I was losing. But then I saw the fact that there is a mortality rate to anorexia. So I went through the vicious cycle of getting out of anorexia but then going into depression instead. This happened 3 other times. Until the vicious cycle ended and I am who I am today. A person normal again but I still struggle With not going back. Note: I knew that anorexia was bad (not to the point of death tho) but I thought I could stop once I reached a certain goal. But no, that ain’t how addictions work. Please, to anyone reading this, I beg u not to take the path that I and millions of other people have taken.
I read your story. It sounds like a miracle, that you are okay, today. Being so controlled must have been so bad for you. So extra lonely. I wish you well. You're still fighting. I hope you'll find, what makes you happy. Good luck.
I've struggled with atypical anorexia and other eating disorder behaviors and I had a supportive family too that kept me from going into the extremes a lot of people do when no one notices and they're enabled. So many eating disorders get to the point where they are because people are enabled. Also, you don't have to be underweight to have an eating disorder (or to get really sick/die from it), and IMO (I'm not a doctor so take this with a grain of salt) anorexia is mental, not physical. The physical effects only happen because your mind is telling you to restrict. The thought patterns of an anorexic (e.g. needing to be thin, obsessing about calories) are the real symptoms regardless of weight.
Thank you so much for being so brave to share this Arley. It helps so much to watch this especially for those still at the bottom of that hill. You are amazing !
I recently found out I have a family member has an ED, and I've been trying to find information to help support her, and her Mum. I live in another state, so I feel quite helpless from here, while she is fed through a tube in her nose and has her vitals monitored. This video has helped me understand this condition more than any other info I have found. And Arley's story and family scenario is very similar. Arley I'm sure you probably don't read the comments here being that this story was filmed 4 years ago, but thankyou for your honesty, your insight and your courage in sharing your journey. Your family is truly amazing, and I hope that you are well. Thank you, and all the best x
thank you so much for helping me to understand this sickness... thank you for ur honesty, your lucky you have a family that loves and cares for its worse battling on your own but i have hope
i hope Arley is doing well, and continuing to recover and live life to the fullest. she is very talented, how she describes her journey is amazing. I know doing things like this - can be triggering so i hope she has stayed well
My daughter 17 is fighting this battle right now. Its heart breaking seeing my girl suffer so much in this way. She lives with her mother and currently is not talking to me. I get snippets of info from her mum but my girl still wont talk to me. It breaks my heart, Im living in the same town but feel like Im a million miles away 😪 I want to be there supporting her so much but find myself battling against my urges to go up and see her and help, and going with my girls wishes. The txts I get from her mother are, by what she says, my daughter is getting worse and hearing this realy breaks my heart. I send txts every morning encouraging her to be strong but it never feels enough. What do I do? I love her so much and have to stay strong for my girl and be there for her when she needs me.
Watching this after my best friend was diagnosed with anorexia, I just want to understand the illness more cause I care so much about her. She's currently out of school so she can get enough food every day, I miss her so much.
That last sentence really touched! There's now this covid -19 pandemic and I kind of feel I live eyes closed now. I don't live to the fullest like before so I felt the meaning of this sentence. Whatever big obstacle in life comes up, it causes such a reaction: you live like eyes closed! I am just waiting for the moment when I dare to open my eyes to the world again. Feel the wonderful scent of fresh air and flowers, without a mask, meet and touch people without fear...
In my case I was the first to suspect I had an ED. I read loads of books on EDs during school, so when I started developing symptoms I recognised what they were symptoms of. Actually telling someone else that I thought I had an ED was hard though. By the time I came to that suspicion I had been struggling for months and I felt I couldn't tell anyone. It was only when I started developing body dysmorphia that I realised what might be happening. I ended up being referred to a dietitian because it was obvious I had issues with food. I told my mum what symptoms I was experiencing before speaking to the dietitian, she caught on to what I was getting at, but when the dietitian seemed completely not worried about what I had told her and simply prescribed meal replacement drinks. My mum was reassured by that and trusted the dietitians lack of concern was warranted. I still struggle to believe how a dietitian could be so incompetent at recognising the symptoms of an ED. About 3 months later I went to the doctor about what was happening, and this time it got the ball rolling in getting the help I needed, which started 5 months after the initial appointment.
Great stuff. Beautiful way of presenting recovery from anorexia. I feel so connected to you folks out there in NZ, the young woman,the family, everyone victimized by relentless Ano lashing out. All the best to you from Germany. Stay strong and emotional. You give us hope for ourselves in a similiar situation.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful video with us; it was really informative to hear more about anorexia and how it is a disease that affects many women in the worst way possible. God bless you for sharing such an inspiring story!
Video: "think of that one terrifying thing that makes your heart racing". Me: *confused choosing from my hundreds and hundreds of fears* And yeah, anorexia is one of them... and gaining weight as well...
What a beautiful family! To have parents who are willing to hear you, take you seriously, and stand by you, is quite a blessing. As an American, I will never understand boarding school.Taking a child away from their family, the environment that they love and feel safe in, and throwing them into a competitive environment, without a support system, makes no sense to me. I’m quite sure it’s cultural but I don’t get it.
Do you see how rural her house it? Boarding school is common in NZ because it's where rural farm girls that may live hours away from a high school, go to get their qualifications. Sometimes there's no choice, and home schooling can't be done. Parental sacrifice for an education. They try go home for as many weekends as they can, and must always go home between terms, and for the 3 months of summer.
We used to have lots of tiny rural schools, churches, communities but with urbanization now only the bigger towns and cities really have them. The farmers don't have time for such long commutes daily
At 3:45 they're barely home and she is going to go for a walk so she can burn off a few calories before they eat the meal her mother is preparing. Her mother recognizing the behavior tells her to not go too far. Even through the filter of this recording you can see how fragile her "recovery" is. I guess anorexia is similar to alcoholism, they are both "forever" diagnoses. You will only ever be a "recovering alcoholic", a "recovering anorexic". Other comments I've read here seem to confirm this.
You live in a place of paradise & I think you are a lovely person & keep at the writing!! I write,privately my thoughts & various lots of poems.....it is a form of healing. You do have the gift of self awareness which kept you going. Keep on being Strong! For You! No One Else !!!!
I'm japanese. I have suffered from anorexia for about 5 years ... Everyday is like living hell. I strongly want the recovery, but my brain and body refuse it. They are out of controls.....
I understand. Like you have no choice. Right? Try to learn to love yourself. I don;t know how, but that can help. I had AN for about 25 years. You can overcome this. ❤
It's hard I know but take care. Stay slim but eat healthy food that gives you energy. Find something that you are passionate about and entertains you so you don't just think about weight and food. That's the only thing that helped me. I wouldn't say I'm completely recovered but healthier and better. Fighting!!!❤️
I wish my mom could have been more understanding when I had anorexia, instead of getting me grounded and doing it the harsh way. I still struggle, can’t say I fully recovered even though it’s been 4 years with this. But my parents aren’t very understanding in this situation
I battled EDNOS for 20 years along with terrible body image since age 4 years old. At age 16 years old I was medically hospitalized for anoxia treatment; Close to death . It has been a long road to where I am today with complete recovery . I do surfer lots of medical that is not reversible. Such as SVT, seizures, type 2 diabetes. There is always hope .
she makes the same ticks with her eyes that her daddy does as well, its so cool to see the similariyties we have with our parents our family, and you have an awesome family, i pray you continue to do well my friend, its a crazy world but you can do it, we all do right? if everyone does you can too, and food its actually one of the best thigs in this life if cooked well of course :-) , ahm eat healthy and enough its all your body needs the nourishment to live well and live YOUR best life, what others think who cares they are strugling as well no matter how well they hide right? many mmany happy thoughts going your way from the UK🥰
@@invertergamerff7614 oh I'm sorry well I was put in a hospital and they said u have to eat or your gonna stay here I was missing my family but I would not eat but somebody shuffled food in my mouth and it tasted good idk how but instantly I started eating
I haven't been diagnosed, but I do know I have anorexia. I feel so so uncomfortable eating certain foods, some are "safe foods" (such as carrots) and some are dangerous and I simply won't touch it. (such as Carbs and fatty greesy foods). I've told my parents about it, they are supporting me and Everything but unfortunatley, I don't think they fully understand the condition. My dad said I shouldn't be worrying about calories and Both mum and dad warned me of the dangers of what I was doing to myself, And I knew then they didn't truly get how hard it was. One of my family members has lost a friend to anorexia before, and I don't plan on letting them find out about my condition, because I'm scared what impact that'll leave, how they'll react ect. It's hurts to lie to the people I love dearly but I can't help it. I find comfort in suffering. 😔
This really connects with me because idk know if I’m anorexic but I feel like things are the same with me. I row! And it hurts me that I have to eat to stay okay to do something that I love! And it’s upsetting
You need salt. Don't overeat it but you need it cause salt is basically cleaning you up. I literally used to wash my clothes with salt. Eat salt for real.
The worst thing than can happen is when you just can't show your problems and your family see you as a fairly happy and healthy teen, but you feel so bad inside, hate yourself and literally feel how anorexia is grabbing your mind. I don't loose to much weight, it stays "healthy" so no one notice that something can be not ok but my thoughts are rubbish.
ASMR WITH ZAHRA I'm so sorry to hear. Please call to someone for help. Even try the number they put in the end of the video. Good luck, i hope you will get better.
I actually stopped using social media a while ago but I can log in if that's how you would prefer to contact me? Otherwise I have messenger or could give you my email?
Can relate. Continue to face your fears. Doing the same, I have this its very difficult.n. Schools are toxic places for Anorexia, Was Told to gain weight for being small framed a teen and watched eat. I eat a alone and I have to this day a hatred of eating which put me in hospital in 2015 with anemia. I was a healthy bmi about 20. I ended up at 15-16 due to the pressure to gain extra weight, I grew to hate and dread food. Now back to some normality I have enough to be healthy, just about well 3 years. I have anorexia for 20 years. I weight restored but I struggle with mealtimes and eating enough. The weakness is crushing. I cant always keep my house clean as I like as I will be too weak to move much, was convinced Id a slow metabolism. I proved I had not. `i was binge eating causing the extra weight. I am still afraid of takeaways, Trying to get used to eating a small bit for my training as I purportedly am borderline underweight now. I rest if I know I'll undercut, I am lighter but my brain doesn't like that too much and struggles to accept it. Its true though.
I can’t imagine having a loving family like that.
Hi yes we mo
right:( when my mom found out i’m starving my self she laughed at me..
@@whenworldscollide1595 awww are you okay? If you ever wanna talk I'm here 🙂
Me either. I finally told my mom at 16 that I had anorexia and bulimia. She stayed calm, but said "let's look at it logically. Does it make sense to act on those thoughts?" I started crying and said "of course it doesnt make sense, that's why it's called a disorder." She never talked to me about it again, never offered to get me help. It was never mentioned again. But she did continue to always say how much she hated the way her body looks and how fat she felt.
@@tayalcu6750 My mom is just like yours, I cant tell her anything but when I told her "i cant tell you anything personal" she said "Like what?! What is so personal that i dont know?" and continued to yell "Tell me!" though i was uncomfortable and never told her because if i did she would say "you always play the victim" or avoid my problems so in her mind there not there and she can portray me as a perfect daughter.
I wish bulimia got more attention. Bulimia on its own, and not a combination of anorexia and bulimia. Just bulimia. I think a lot of people would relate and understand eating disorders more if we included all of them.
ʜᴏᴇs sᴀᴅ I know right, the major lack of representation hurts. my suffering doesn’t feel valid at all. no one cares unless you’re underweight and look like you’re dying.
There's more than just two
sadder daze that’s how I feel
Yes. Like I passed through that, for months, nobody realized because in the end I didn’t look like I was about to passed out, I looked “healthy” so nobody noticed. It hurt when nobody believed me that I was bad, so I had to pass through that alone...
I agree people don’t see it as you aren’t always skinny and it’s a horrible disorder that controls my life
Anorexia’s biggest fear is losing control
So true
yess
The control you fear losing though is anorexia taking control. You fight to maintain the behaviours AND you fight the people who are trying to separate you from your behaviours. To gain control? You have to put down your weapon and accept others to help defend you from anorexia.
Anorexia is losing control, unfortunately. It is in control.
God I wish my parents were so understanding...
Meeeee tooooo
Swear
If you’re a parent or family member of someone with an ed and they have entrusted you to cook for them. DO NOT DO WHAT THIS MOTHER DID and hide extra calories in the food. That’s so messed up. The person you’re ‘caring for’ will lose all trust in you, and they need you; they need someone they can trust. They also need to be accountable for what they’re eating and to do that they need to know whats in it. They also need to report their intake to nurses etc, who monitor that against weight, so it messes that up too and can lead to professionals thinking they are misreporting. Playing games like this won’t help anything.
It’s not just this mother who I’ve heard of doing this, I’ve seen it it other similar documentaries too. Please don’t do it!
Apart from that it is actually dangerous to hand an unfed body too many calories. It can be so hard on the heart, that you actually can die from a fatty heart while anorexic.
Moonshadow Garden very true. I always get high cholesterol when in inpatient after not having any fat in my diet for so long. All the drs I’ve met have told me it’s common in anorexia recovery and a sign of refeeding syndrome.
Thank you, I wasn't aware of that. I feel ashamed of having smuggled an extra spoonful of butter into the noodles. I know better now.
Melina Burkhardt can’t tell if you’re joking or not but if you are it isn’t something to be sarcastic about. I’m fully recovered now but then if someone smuggled an extra spoon of butter into my noodles it would have been so detrimental to my recovery in specific points. A spoonful of butter means the world to an extreme anorexic like I was and I already had no trust in myself, if I was to lose the trust in my loved ones it would have probably killed me. Also, it’s a mental illness. Not a physical one. You need to repair the mental health, not focus on secretly trying to make the sufferer gain weight. It’s really is such a misunderstood illness. If you’re not joking then I’m sorry, just trying to spread a bit of awareness. Xx
@@scarlettorourke8705 No joking. 😰 I wouldn't dream of doing such a wicked thing, please believe me. Just a repenting mum wanting to reach out and be honest and open. As a warning maybe for other helpless mums? No offence, wishing you all the best on your journey.
This came up on my recommendations for some reason and I watched it even though the subject touches a part of my life I have put behind me. I got sick in anorexia when I was 15 and I am now almost 43 with four beautiful children and husband. I remember being told it takes 6 months to get anorexia and 7 years to get well. It was so true. It took a long time and I knew I was free from anorexia when there was no food that was not “allowed”. I had to stop being a vegetarian to get better. It was so easy to use as an excuse not to eat something someone was serving. Another milestone was when I did not care that I ate more than the other people that was eating with me. I was free!!!!My oldest daughter is now 15 and I recently told her about my teenage struggles and she was shocked. “But mamma you love your food, I can’t believe it”. I told her all about my lost years and how fantastic life is on the other side. Life is great. My parents and siblings love got me through it and my fear of not being able to have children. I got better because I knew life could be great again. Love to everyone that is still suffering.💕
Thank you for your heartfelt comment @westclare75 - proof you truly can come through the other side. Great advice - you can be such a great role model for your kids and others. Thank you for sharing your journey!
Attitude Thank you! I was unsure about telling my oldest daughter, I have three but two of them are too young to benefit from hearing my story, but my sister had told her daughter about me. She told the daughter my story because her daughter was talking about dieting to loose weight and I felt that it would not be right for my daughter to find out about my anorexia/bulimia story from her cousin. My story has help both girls to keep a healthy relationship with their bodies and food. All I can do now is to continue to set a good example by my actions.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! This inspired me so much! 😊💪🏻
westclare75 I’m so happy you shared this it has made me realise that what I’m going through is only a small part of my life and people can help me and I can have a life other than this disorder and I feel like my biggest worry during this pain is the fact that I could potentially not be able to have children in the future and this really helps to know that someone like me has now got a life and people around them. I just worry I have been broken before I have even lives properly. This will always stay in my mind Thank you so much your amazing 😁
This is so inspiring
This is ACTUALLY incredible. I hope many eating disorder sufferers see this. It is a unique, VERY insightful perspective on the illness. p.s. Your parents REALLY got it on a deep level...which is unusual. Bravo to all of you.
its hones,t and does not glamorize the illness at all. there is no mention of wight, numbers, or 'horrific pictures' of how 'bad' she looked. too often, its like a freak show, when media report on anorexia. It is real, and how it is. it destroys relationships, destroys you as a person
As much as it is insightful I find the illness is too strong to persuade me to recover
imagine your parents believing and helping you with your ed. can't relate
My father freaking yelled at me and threatened not to cook for me and my mom told me everyday how skinny I am and that I should eat more . By the way I am anorexic ..... my family is messed up .
my mom kinda knows ab my ed she just thinks its a phase n not a big deal lol
also cant relate
I'm relapsing again. Was doing ok for about 4 months but now I've gone down hill again. Hope you're well Arley ❤
Elizabeth Sylvester how are you doing?
Elizabeth Sylvester stay safe lovie, we believe in you ❤️
You're stronger than you think. Fight it! Please
Me too I am relapsing too
*sending a virtual hug*
I will never understand how this channel doesn't have MILLIONS of subscribers. All of the content is incredible.
I love the introduction so much I have it in my notes page. What an amazing way to describe a terrible condition. Another quote that reminds me of the condition is “A terrible way to live, a terrible way to die.” A touching video, it makes me want to get better. A silent killer. I hope everybody finds peace with themselves x
That's our hope too Erin ... stay strong! X
erin cc dear Erin,how are you?
I absolutely understand the part where she was reading back through her journals and didn't seem to recognize her mindset. I felt the exact same way going back through my own diary when my ED was at it's worst. I didn't even recognize myself, and the way I was talking. I'm still anorexic/EDNOS, but I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be.
Kailah Butler I am recovery from heroin addiction and I look back on myself when I was using and I don’t recognize myself at all, I almost feel like it was a different person, except I remember all the emotions and pain so viscerally.
Kailah Butler same here
Great jog. I jave a daughter who has anorexia and bulemia. She switches. She is 30 years old and has refused help. She also moved to a different state. It's so hard to watch her and know she is in pain. I don't want to loose her. Thanks for sharing your story.
this is the ED content i needed. looking at anorexic brain vs normal brain and how much of a struggle it was before recovery. that’s what all struggling young people need. NOT glarmorising ed content, but THIS ✨
Glad her family was there to help support her ❤
I'm 43 nxt month & have struggled with anorexia since age 12. I enter IOP in a week... This young woman gives me hope for My future 💟🦄.
i still can’t believe this channel only has 66k and not a couple million at least
amazing work
I can understand what she is going through. I am now 65 but when I was 20 I became anorexic and for 2 years food actually scared me and I just wouldn't eat. My mother put me in the hospital and they wouldn't release me until I got up to 95 pounds. That was still thin but I was actually eating.
Kathy Harrington - Good for you and congradulation on your recovery, i hope you have had it easier since then and you have been able to live a relatively good and kind life :)
To recover from anorexia you must heal the mind as well as the body. Force feeding an anorexic person back into a "healthy" weight isn't enough. Anorexia doens't have a look.
I had anorexia and bulimia in my 20s recovered but have relapes
"Life is so beautiful but you can't see it if your eyes are shut" that hits different. 🥺❣️
5 minutes and I’m crying. This hits way too close to home.
Keeping fighting everyone! We can do it!!
what an inspiring family for showing unconditional love throughout the terrifying process! so glad she’s on the mend and able to talk so freely about her struggles because you never know, these powerful words may reach someone in the same situation xx lots of love :)
I would love to see one about anorexia binge eating type. That's one that I could relate to.
Lizzy Grace I feel you
Check out one called Amy P's Eating Disorder
This is Chloe Lafon- I've seen it twice and even though I don't suffer from an ED this is the most realistic documentary I've ever seen. Enjoy and hope you get better! ruclips.net/video/J2ntMjtrPkc/видео.html&lc=z23wivgzmyfkjdbj204t1aokgpvw2dlgxmn4mwcizy1tbk0h00410.1528984367630776
Same
Lizzy Grace you might be interested in this one. ruclips.net/video/J2ntMjtrPkc/видео.html
Yeah this girl recovered/ is on that journey in a positive way and says it’s “The hardest thing” she’s “ever done”. Yet she’s only 2 years in, and didn’t get to the point of needing inpatient/mental health legislative intervention.
This is why early diagnosis and treatment is so important. The longer it goes on the harder it is to pull yourself out.
its not a competition.
itskimm._ I didn’t say or even infer such a thing. My point is that she benefited from early intervention, as she ought to have received, but that not everybody has early access to treatment at the most pivotal time in their disorder. Please read comments properly before leaving an unwarranted sarcastic response.
S P oh ok i interpreted it wrong. i thought you were saying 2 years was a short amount of time and she "has it easy" in a way. sorry
What a wonderful family, all very introspective and in tune with their feelings. They are also very brave to be willing to share such a private experience. This will certainly serve as an inspirational source for others suffering from this awful illness.
Tracey Gold hit the nail on the head for me when she said "I know this disease will never really go away, but I can be stronger than it, I can make it" For me it is a daily battle.....
Seeing her eat with her family made me so happy I happy she change right now I am recovering from anorexia
This video was very well made
How honest she was was amazing
As someone who’s come out the other end of it, I’m here to bring hope.
Her: “I was really afraid of carbs or dairy, so she would tell me all the good things about carbs and dairy. And then I’d go off and research about it. And realized it wasn’t actually too bad.” That hit me. Such a good point. Looking up the nutrients in the food your eating can be very beneficial. To see, your body is receiving A B and C from eating this or that. Makes it seem more healthy.
Looks so pretty in New Zealand..🌐🌏🏔️⛰️🗻
What an incredibly well-spoken & insightful young woman. She's obviously made this difficult journey a part of her past, but the wisdom gained is now & forever. Hold tight to it! You're amazing in your honesty, which can only help others struggling with their own issues (and feeling very alone in it). God Bless!
So proud of Arley (cute name) and her family! I love that her Mom acted on her instincts and went with her own plan. I love how the Dad told the townsfolk without hesitation, showing himself to be a real leader. I love how the sister was ready and willing to go to bat for her. And I love that Arley fought for her family and now fights for herself, too.
Damn, her family is awesome.
Sure is!
Arley Gower - how are you doing these days, Arley? Amazing job on this documentary and in recovery!
Arley Gower.....you are a very brave young woman to talk about your anorexia so deeply. You are even more braver that you are concurring this deadly disease. For any young woman or man struggling with this, your story will be their beacon of light. Your a champion.
The content on this channel is incredible
So Raw, So Beautiful, So Important for Everyone to See This. Thank You! 💚
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my RUclips channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
I fell far aswell, no breakfast no snacks throughout the entire day would only have dinner because I was forced to eat with my parents, but that didn’t stop me I would purge my “dinner” and put in a glass of water and a piece of chewing gum. That was it. It was smt like 20 calories a day. When I mum found out my privacy was stripped away, if I left the house my mum or dad was with me. If I was in the toilet, my mum would wait outside the door she would watch me eat every meal and snack. I made a rapid hole out of that hell. On the surface, I recovered easily and I must have just been pathetic. But underneath... all the time I was alone... I was crying... most the time I would cry myself to sleep. I had a diary that might aswell be called the “the book of hatred” because of all the words I would say about my parents. As much as I got out of a toxic hole, I fell into another one... depression. In the end I went back to anorexia, I felt in control I liked how much weight I was losing. But then I saw the fact that there is a mortality rate to anorexia. So I went through the vicious cycle of getting out of anorexia but then going into depression instead. This happened 3 other times. Until the vicious cycle ended and I am who I am today. A person normal again but I still struggle With not going back.
Note: I knew that anorexia was bad (not to the point of death tho) but I thought I could stop once I reached a certain goal. But no, that ain’t how addictions work. Please, to anyone reading this, I beg u not to take the path that I and millions of other people have taken.
I read your story. It sounds like a miracle, that you are okay, today. Being so controlled must have been so bad for you. So extra lonely. I wish you well. You're still fighting. I hope you'll find, what makes you happy. Good luck.
What an amazing young woman and family. The final mountain/hill comparison was beautiful
If I lived in that BEAUTIFUL land on such a nice spacious home I'd be so happy.
Praying for anyone struggling. You can do this , stay strong. I overcame and you can too
I've struggled with atypical anorexia and other eating disorder behaviors and I had a supportive family too that kept me from going into the extremes a lot of people do when no one notices and they're enabled. So many eating disorders get to the point where they are because people are enabled. Also, you don't have to be underweight to have an eating disorder (or to get really sick/die from it), and IMO (I'm not a doctor so take this with a grain of salt) anorexia is mental, not physical. The physical effects only happen because your mind is telling you to restrict. The thought patterns of an anorexic (e.g. needing to be thin, obsessing about calories) are the real symptoms regardless of weight.
ive been diagnosed with anorexia ive only just started treatment its hard :(
Amy K you got this! ❤️
thank you :)
you are brave. It's a long road but it's worth it. Courage
thank you x it sucks because i have to face it alone
Amy K you won’t be facing it alone, we can fight through it together! Be strong ❤️
Omg the way dad just lit up when he heard her say he’s her go to safe person legit has me tearing up rn (@13:15)
Thanks for the video. Happy for your recovery and all the goodness you now have after through it.
Heart breaking and beautiful all rolled in to one
Thank you so much for being so brave to share this Arley. It helps so much to watch this especially for those still at the bottom of that hill. You are amazing !
I just binged and now I want to cry.
same...
I recently found out I have a family member has an ED, and I've been trying to find information to help support her, and her Mum. I live in another state, so I feel quite helpless from here, while she is fed through a tube in her nose and has her vitals monitored. This video has helped me understand this condition more than any other info I have found. And Arley's story and family scenario is very similar. Arley I'm sure you probably don't read the comments here being that this story was filmed 4 years ago, but thankyou for your honesty, your insight and your courage in sharing your journey. Your family is truly amazing, and I hope that you are well. Thank you, and all the best x
14:30 the love, understanding and pain expressed in that pause broke me.
thank you so much for helping me to understand this sickness... thank you for ur honesty, your lucky you have a family that loves and cares for its worse battling on your own but i have hope
I like this family for being so connected. There's lots of effective communication. They listen well and care for each other.
I have anorexia She is so courageous to share her story
25:30 these words got me, reminded me so much of my worst times with anorexia over 1 year ago :(
Such a beautiful girl. Thank you for sharing your story💕
Thank YOU! Support like this makes the journey so worth while ❤️
@@arleygower6902 Your story is inspiring and tragic, all in the same breath, Wishing the best for you, Hugs and hope from Canada.
shots of food in this video made me physically tense, wow
i hope Arley is doing well, and continuing to recover and live life to the fullest. she is very talented, how she describes her journey is amazing. I know doing things like this - can be triggering so i hope she has stayed well
My daughter 17 is fighting this battle right now. Its heart breaking seeing my girl suffer so much in this way. She lives with her mother and currently is not talking to me. I get snippets of info from her mum but my girl still wont talk to me. It breaks my heart, Im living in the same town but feel like Im a million miles away 😪 I want to be there supporting her so much but find myself battling against my urges to go up and see her and help, and going with my girls wishes. The txts I get from her mother are, by what she says, my daughter is getting worse and hearing this realy breaks my heart. I send txts every morning encouraging her to be strong but it never feels enough. What do I do?
I love her so much and have to stay strong for my girl and be there for her when she needs me.
I love your typewriter! I don't have that model but typewriters are amazing. I collect them, and currently have 51 in my possession.
Wow that's a lot of typewriters, i'm sure your collection is lovely!
@@alegria1813 I have some nice ones, some average ones, and some dumpster fires. And I think 5 or 6 I am repairing and getting cleaned up to sell.
What an amazing family. So full of love and intelligence.
So proud of you! And your Mum is a genius to take you away from all the doctors and re-feed you. Thank you for sharing your story.
Watching this after my best friend was diagnosed with anorexia, I just want to understand the illness more cause I care so much about her. She's currently out of school so she can get enough food every day, I miss her so much.
I hope you continue to recover
That last sentence really touched! There's now this covid -19 pandemic and I kind of feel I live eyes closed now. I don't live to the fullest like before so I felt the meaning of this sentence. Whatever big obstacle in life comes up, it causes such a reaction: you live like eyes closed! I am just waiting for the moment when I dare to open my eyes to the world again. Feel the wonderful scent of fresh air and flowers, without a mask, meet and touch people without fear...
In my case I was the first to suspect I had an ED. I read loads of books on EDs during school, so when I started developing symptoms I recognised what they were symptoms of.
Actually telling someone else that I thought I had an ED was hard though. By the time I came to that suspicion I had been struggling for months and I felt I couldn't tell anyone. It was only when I started developing body dysmorphia that I realised what might be happening.
I ended up being referred to a dietitian because it was obvious I had issues with food. I told my mum what symptoms I was experiencing before speaking to the dietitian, she caught on to what I was getting at, but when the dietitian seemed completely not worried about what I had told her and simply prescribed meal replacement drinks. My mum was reassured by that and trusted the dietitians lack of concern was warranted.
I still struggle to believe how a dietitian could be so incompetent at recognising the symptoms of an ED.
About 3 months later I went to the doctor about what was happening, and this time it got the ball rolling in getting the help I needed, which started 5 months after the initial appointment.
Great stuff. Beautiful way of presenting recovery from anorexia. I feel so connected to you folks out there in NZ, the young woman,the family, everyone victimized by relentless Ano lashing out. All the best to you from Germany. Stay strong and emotional. You give us hope for ourselves in a similiar situation.
I know this is shallow, but holy cow she has insanely beautiful handwriting
That's not shallow.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful video with us; it was really informative to hear more about anorexia and how it is a disease that affects many women in the worst way possible. God bless you for sharing such an inspiring story!
Video: "think of that one terrifying thing that makes your heart racing".
Me: *confused choosing from my hundreds and hundreds of fears*
And yeah, anorexia is one of them... and gaining weight as well...
Good for you! You're a strong lady! Keep on keepin on!
What a beautiful family! To have parents who are willing to hear you, take you seriously, and stand by you, is quite a blessing. As an American, I will never understand boarding school.Taking a child away from their family, the environment that they love and feel safe in, and throwing them into a competitive environment, without a support system, makes no sense to me. I’m quite sure it’s cultural but I don’t get it.
Do you see how rural her house it? Boarding school is common in NZ because it's where rural farm girls that may live hours away from a high school, go to get their qualifications. Sometimes there's no choice, and home schooling can't be done. Parental sacrifice for an education. They try go home for as many weekends as they can, and must always go home between terms, and for the 3 months of summer.
We used to have lots of tiny rural schools, churches, communities but with urbanization now only the bigger towns and cities really have them. The farmers don't have time for such long commutes daily
At 3:45 they're barely home and she is going to go for a walk so she can burn off a few calories before they eat the meal her mother is preparing. Her mother recognizing the behavior tells her to not go too far. Even through the filter of this recording you can see how fragile her "recovery" is. I guess anorexia is similar to alcoholism, they are both "forever" diagnoses. You will only ever be a "recovering alcoholic", a "recovering anorexic". Other comments I've read here seem to confirm this.
You live in a place of paradise & I think you are a lovely person & keep at the writing!!
I write,privately my thoughts & various lots of poems.....it is a form of healing.
You do have the gift of self awareness which kept you going.
Keep on being Strong! For You! No One Else !!!!
Thank you for sharing your story! ❤️
This channel has such amazing content and honestly makes me want to move to New Zealand, it's such a beautiful place
What a lovely thing to say - thanks Romy. Yes you should move to New Zealand ...
it is beautiful!
Wonderful story. Glad she’s doing better. She should be so proud x
I'm japanese. I have suffered from anorexia for about 5 years ...
Everyday is like living hell. I strongly want the recovery, but my brain and body refuse it. They are out of controls.....
Jesus loves you.
I felt the same way. My body and brain has adjusted to recovering over time. 😃
I understand. Like you have no choice. Right? Try to learn to love yourself. I don;t know how, but that can help. I had AN for about 25 years. You can overcome this. ❤
It's hard I know but take care. Stay slim but eat healthy food that gives you energy. Find something that you are passionate about and entertains you so you don't just think about weight and food. That's the only thing that helped me. I wouldn't say I'm completely recovered but healthier and better. Fighting!!!❤️
me: mom am i fat? i really feel fat.
her: no you're not you are normal size.
me: *yeah saying that totally helps :)*
Literly how I think, normal isn't good enough
I feel like you have described part of my story
so true, it actually scared me...
like a flashback to the times where i was feeling the same.
thanks for sharing this!
she's so brave and so her family!
i hope the best for her! ♥
I can't believe that a video like this has been shadow banned.
What do you mean?
Arley, what a beautiful name.
What a brave and lovely young lady.
I wish my mom could have been more understanding when I had anorexia, instead of getting me grounded and doing it the harsh way. I still struggle, can’t say I fully recovered even though it’s been 4 years with this. But my parents aren’t very understanding in this situation
We live with everyone else except ourselves. This is anorexia for me. And here I am at 64 still doing it. No way out.
I battled EDNOS for 20 years along with terrible body image since age 4 years old. At age 16 years old I was medically hospitalized for anoxia treatment; Close to death . It has been a long road to where I am today with complete recovery . I do surfer lots of medical that is not reversible. Such as SVT, seizures, type 2 diabetes.
There is always hope .
The Salt thing make me cry 💛
This was beautiful! Thank for you sharing your story! God bless 🙏🏻
she makes the same ticks with her eyes that her daddy does as well, its so cool to see the similariyties we have with our parents our family, and you have an awesome family, i pray you continue to do well my friend, its a crazy world but you can do it, we all do right? if everyone does you can too, and food its actually one of the best thigs in this life if cooked well of course :-) , ahm eat healthy and enough its all your body needs the nourishment to live well and live YOUR best life, what others think who cares they are strugling as well no matter how well they hide right?
many mmany happy thoughts going your way from the UK🥰
5 months ago I got over my anorexia I had it for 3 years and I'm happy I survived
Judi stogdell how
How
I have also anorexia since one year
@@invertergamerff7614 oh I'm sorry well I was put in a hospital and they said u have to eat or your gonna stay here I was missing my family but I would not eat but somebody shuffled food in my mouth and it tasted good idk how but instantly I started eating
I haven't been diagnosed, but I do know I have anorexia. I feel so so uncomfortable eating certain foods, some are "safe foods" (such as carrots) and some are dangerous and I simply won't touch it. (such as Carbs and fatty greesy foods).
I've told my parents about it, they are supporting me and Everything but unfortunatley, I don't think they fully understand the condition. My dad said I shouldn't be worrying about calories and Both mum and dad warned me of the dangers of what I was doing to myself, And I knew then they didn't truly get how hard it was.
One of my family members has lost a friend to anorexia before, and I don't plan on letting them find out about my condition, because I'm scared what impact that'll leave, how they'll react ect.
It's hurts to lie to the people I love dearly but I can't help it. I find comfort in suffering. 😔
This really connects with me because idk know if I’m anorexic but I feel like things are the same with me. I row! And it hurts me that I have to eat to stay okay to do something that I love! And it’s upsetting
Heya, you sound like you know you're not very ok. Hope you reach out for help soon xoxo
You need salt. Don't overeat it but you need it cause salt is basically cleaning you up. I literally used to wash my clothes with salt. Eat salt for real.
I've just watched it on TV in BBC, it's beautiful♡ .
The worst thing than can happen is when you just can't show your problems and your family see you as a fairly happy and healthy teen, but you feel so bad inside, hate yourself and literally feel how anorexia is grabbing your mind. I don't loose to much weight, it stays "healthy" so no one notice that something can be not ok but my thoughts are rubbish.
How are you today? Did you found somebody you can trust and open up to?
I have preanoxia. I really wish I had someone to talk too. I feel so alone.
ASMR WITH ZAHRA
I'm so sorry to hear.
Please call to someone for help.
Even try the number they put in the end of the video.
Good luck, i hope you will get better.
PM me any time you need xx
Arley Gower you got an instagram?
I actually stopped using social media a while ago but I can log in if that's how you would prefer to contact me? Otherwise I have messenger or could give you my email?
ASMR WITH ZAHRA i have an intagram: amar_jobanputra
Feel free to dm me.
Thank you so much for this documentary may God bless you
Strange - she said 'delicious meal' when reading her diary in reference to the meal her Dad made her, when the actual entry read 'Nice meal'.
What do you think that means? Honest question
Can relate. Continue to face your fears. Doing the same, I have this its very difficult.n. Schools are toxic places for Anorexia, Was Told to gain weight for being small framed a teen and watched eat. I eat a alone and I have to this day a hatred of eating which put me in hospital in 2015 with anemia. I was a healthy bmi about 20. I ended up at 15-16 due to the pressure to gain extra weight, I grew to hate and dread food. Now back to some normality I have enough to be healthy, just about well 3 years. I have anorexia for 20 years. I weight restored but I struggle with mealtimes and eating enough. The weakness is crushing. I cant always keep my house clean as I like as I will be too weak to move much, was convinced Id a slow metabolism. I proved I had not. `i was binge eating causing the extra weight. I am still afraid of takeaways, Trying to get used to eating a small bit for my training as I purportedly am borderline underweight now. I rest if I know I'll undercut, I am lighter but my brain doesn't like that too much and struggles to accept it. Its true though.
Beautiful. Thx for sharing.