Queerfully Yours | EP 2: Toxic Filipino Culture
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- May template ba 'yung mga nakatatanda ng mga dapat nilang sabihin? Para kasing pare-pareho ang atake nila pagdating sa mga bagay-bagay. Paglabas mo pa lang sa sinapupunan ng Nanay mo, may timeline ka na agad, tapos 'pag lumihis ka sa timeline, babanatan ka ng "'Bat ka ganyan? Noong panahon namin..." Agaray! Why does being individual dometimes feel like a crime? Pagusapan naten yan in this episode.
About Queerfully Yours 🌈
Queerfully Yours is a podcast featuring Steven Bansil, Miss Deliciousness, Poca, and Chardie B where they share their life stories on being queer adults in the Philippines. Follow Queerfully Yours here:
/ queerfullyyours
/ queerfullyyours
/ queerfullyyours
#QueerfullyYours #BanDePoCha #Pocha #🌈
Mga Mi! I hope you can also tackle about toxic “gay” culture of this sort. Aminin natin, meron din talaga tayong mga kapatid sa LGBTQIA+ na toxic din talaga which affects the whole community ourselves. Again, hagalpak na naman ako to you girls! Love lots! ❤
ooohhhh this is gotta be a nice topic on this podcast. Hope this will be an episode.
Yaaaah! Pls
Yes!!! Sana itopic din nila to kasi sobrang bad din nito. This is one of the things that stresses me out in being part of this community 😢😅
Pls
Hope you already watched the recent episode about the topic you wanted. 🧡😊
when I open this to my family, parang ako pa yung masama and she tells it to other people with same mindset and so I feel like I've been "pinagkakaisahan" and I feel like Im being guilt tripped because they always say " kung ayaw mong tumulong edi wag kang tumulong, maganda yang nagbukod kana, di nako aasa sayo, kahit mamatay ako, di ako magpaparamdam, wala ka nang ina" knowing that I'm an only child, this is pressuring me a lot and it makes me feel guilty but at the same time I feel terrible for carrying something that I shouldn't do pa because I'm still a second year college student. right now I am working and sometimes after an unresolved fight, my family would say "after all my loans and unnecessary bills, I'll stop working na" so since started working na, nakakapanghina ng tuhod. I think it's too early for me and hindi ako napalaki humarap sa mga ganitong sitwasyon, nakakabigla for me:(
As tumatayong panganay, i really feel that... parang ikaw na lahat... ang nakakaloka is bawal ka tumigil kasi wlang sasalo sau, kasi kapag tumigil ka, lahat kau lulubog... ang ending, 37 n ako and still struggling financially...
😢 Relate though i'm still in my late 20's
I love how Chardie speaks out about his opinions sa mga topics. Very eloquent and sobrang well explained ung mga points niya ❤
I agree din kay steven, bakit kailangang iimpose sayo ng mgs nakakatanda ang ugali o paniniwala nila. Pag nag disagree ka sa knila , masama ugali mo at wala ng galang, for me, s mga nkktnda sa atin kung mag bigay ng suggestion o opinyon regardless sa edad mo, matada o bata. Sobrang marespeto kosa matatanda, po at opo pero Dpat irespeto mo ang isang tao. Babarahin kita kung wala kang respeto at ambag s buhay ko regardless kung matanda ka o kamag anak kita. Respect begets respect.
the line “pinag aral ko ng maaga para makatapos ng maaga at makatulong agad”😢
This podcast is amazing!!! It talks about REALITY. No filter at all. Straight to the point. Super relate ako in so many ways 🥺
NANDON AKO SA PANGANAY NA NAIPASA NA ANG OBLIGASYON NG MAGULANG SA 5 NA KAPATIDD.. NAKAKA STRESS
Super relate sa topic. Kudos to all Breadwinners out there lalong lalo na sa mga Middle Child 🥰. Isang mahigpit na yakap para sa lahat.
Ang kagandahan sa podcast na'to ay sa wakas nakita ko na c steven na may kasama infront of the camera di tulad dati na sya lang yung nakikita ko.. i mean sinasabi niya lagi dati na mahiyain sya sa harapan ng ibang tao pero atleast now nakikita ko na how he communicate pag may ibang tao syang kausap..😊 mas nkikita ko yung totoong sya ngayon kaysa dati 😊 ang galing lang kasi makisama ng mga acla sa kanya.. this is what i like when having a friend who is part of LGBTQIA+ they are very conversational .. maraming tawa but they are full knowledge also ❤❤ dami ko natutunan dito.. 👍🏻 good job guys..😊
trueeeee
True love ko si Steven ❤
i love chardi's input in every discussion. It was very substantial and well thought of esp their take on fluency as a basis of intelligence, tama namang fluency in foreign languages or at least in english is a sign of intelligence, BUT it is not the sole basis of such kasi there are different types of intelligence that exist as we speak. Isa pa, fluency in such doesn't give anyone the license to mansplain or make anyone feel less of themselves. However, despite the fact that we cannot depend one's intelligence solely on their fluency in English, sana we should not as well discredit or deny them their skills.
moreover, if I may add, I've always taught myself that "calling someone out is different from shaming them", tama na most of us atat na atat tayong mangpuna ng ibang tao kasi we feel like it adds up to our value, the thought of "being better than someone", it somehow fills and/or compensates the lacking that we have/feel within.
Steven`s voice quality adds a pleasant balance to their conversation that has tendency to become too much at times
seeing their sense of humor and wit, bagay sila mag additional host sa showtime!
The thing is, ang kagandahan sa mga Filipino, may puso tayo para sa mga magulang natin lalo na when they raise us well, kaso may blind side tong positive trait na ito which is yung tinutukoy nating toxic, yung pag eexpect ng magulang na iaangat sila ng mga anak nila. Nagiging toxic pag nagdedemand tapos isusumbat sa anak yung ginawa for them, or minsan kinukumpara. Kaya as a parent, nag pundar na din ako sa insurance kasi ayoko maging burden pero pinapalaki ko anak ko na may puso. So balang araw, di ko sya oobligahin pero kung lalaki syang mabuting tao at may puso, for sure, she'll treat me well
Pero aminin nyo kahit tayo mag ganyang moment din sa mga mas bata satin. That “kami nga noon eh…..” spiel will NEVER end kasi nga hindi dapat natin tinatalikuran and nakaraan para makarating sa paroroonan.😅
Watching this at maximum volume para marinig nila HAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! nice oneee! jk
I think when it comes to having a responsibility for our parents, there are times na iniisip rin natin, like me personally, na ginagawa natin tong mga bagay hindi lang para sa atin kundi dahil we take it as a purpose in our life. Like when we have a decent job, for example, we think na... may purpose tayo bakit nagttrabaho tayo. It's like "they've been working so hard just to make my life great and now it's my turn to pay them back by giving what I can give when I get a very good and stable job". And that's what gives me the main purpose why I live and exist. Perhaps, it's also my happiness to see them happy and smiling. So, it really depends rin sa isang tao, lalo na kung nagsimula kayong hindi mayaman. You really have to achieve your main goal and that is to have a rich and successful life, for yourself and for your family.
Just because na ikaw yung laging giver, sometimes they do not realize na you also need a support. Na nauubos kadin. But, since nakasanayan nila yung mga bagay na ginagawa mo sa kanila parang usual nalang, taken for granted, na ineexpect na nila na lagi ka namang nandyan, so, in the end, ikaw at ikaw nalang ang inaasahan. Not a panganay also but I am playing that role out of pressure to lift up our family and I was not given a choice, and in return only drowned me because I wasted opportunities, neglected my passion to be able to keep up and provide. Now, I am still trying to learn how to keep my boundaries and saying no, so, I can focus on building myself that I have kept aside for years.
Sobrang relate! Huhu, as someone who's experiencing ung toxic filipino culture na dahil tingin nila ikaw ung medyo may pera or nakaka luwag kaya ikaw tutulong, sobrang nakaka gaan ng loob marinig ung thoughts nyong apat about sa matter na 'yan. Knowing kasi na valid pala ung nararamdaman ko, namin mag asawa. More podcasts pa po!
I like how warren and chardie talks … this is a kind of person i wanna hang out with! 😊😊😊 yung nakakalawak ng pag iisip.
Very substantial 💯✨ it boldly speaks to the culture that we have. Something that we just accept as part of growing up yet this is something that we should really addressed. 😊
Actually, those families na maraming anak, mostly mga unplanned talaga. Pansin niyo ba? Kung sino yung mga nasa kahirapan, sila yung maraming anak. They don't originally have the idea of making their children an investment, the idea started when they started to realize that their lives are getting more difficult, or becoming more poor.
Napaka talino nang nakaisip nang channel nato , tipong rest day ko lahat nang episode mapapanood katalaga napaka realistic at daming matutunan at super nakakatrangal stress.. watching on my tv habang nakahiga lakas maka self love. 😊❤❤❤❤ i love you guys ,more episode po #1 fan here grave kau🎉🎉❤
Potek. Relate na relate, being part of LGBTQIA+ community, panganay and breadwinner. Sometimes you have to pause your dreams dahil meron kang "responsibilities" sa family mo. Now that you started choosing yourself, you feel na minsan your being selfish. Dahil hindi mo mabigay ung lahat ng ineexpect sayo.
Pag sa parents we don’t call it utang na loob we call it LOVE mga miii💕😊
From my upbringing and pov I believe giving back to your parents is not required by highly recommended. It's not a responsibility but an initiative.
This is okay, as long as it is your decision. But for some who are obligated, it's difficult and sad.
communication is very important.
I remember yung nag wo work ako while studying, never nang hingi sakin si mama. Minsan panga nang hihingi padin ako sa kanya kahit nag tatrabaho ako. I’m so grateful kase we have open communication. And she understands me a lot. Kaya ang sarap din mag bigay ng ikaw mismo ng initiate.
I like how Chardie na nagpapasok siya ng additional case or topics to discuss para maprolong at hindi lang sila magiging paikot-ikot sa iisang topic. To make a smooth transition/flow of conversation 💖
Kaya minsan maiisip mo kung bakit ang hirap mahalin at intindihin ng mga tao sa paligid mo, family members man or the public, is because they refuse to accept the changes and they tend to stick to what they believe is correct and true to them. Blocking or as how I would say it, decluttering people in your life who doesn't seem to be beneficial in any way is a good practice to save your mental and emotional health. I'm proud that I am a Filipino but not necessarily mean that I have to embrace every aspect of being one. Nice topic guys. Napaka legit ng thoughts that you shared. I couldn't agree more. Love this episode.
I absolutely agree to Chardi about the people bringing up the past kung nakikita nila na umaangat ka na. The past doesn't define who you are na ngayon. 😊❤
Very true ung ungkatan of past mistakes. Parang wala kana karapatan maging better person, y
un kana sa paningin nila forever.
as the youngest of the family, iwas so grateful for my parents and my siblings because we are raised na nnot to believe in the idea of having a bread winner of the family, kasi dapat we are the bread winner of ourselves
I really like po how nyo na connect yung blocking, some people kasi binibigyan ng issue yung blocking, muting, etc but for me Its not toxic because i choose to block that person because I prioritize my mental health than pretending to be matured enough kuno. Some people kasi thinks na if I didnt block that person na nakaka apekto na sa health ko is they take as being matured but for me hindi naman e.
Well spoken talaga si Chardie. I also like and agree to his views. Very bisaya ambot kung tungod ba ana nganong mas open to the “utang na loob” especially pagdating sa family.
If you want to correct something do it in private not in public..i do agree with warren 💯..
Ang nakakasama ng loob is yung pinasa na sayo ung responsibilidad ng lahat 😂 kesyo inanak ka lang sa munso para maging breadwinner. I like what warren said. Totoo yun.
The worst part is if ur filipino mom having a bad day getting stressed at work also when ur children having a bad grade at school they will punish u using a broom 🧹
Sarap manood dito...
My only son nag start ng mag work pero never ko hiningian lagi ko lang sinasabi..mag ipon ka para sa sarili,hwag mo ako isipin kasi kaya ko pa magtrabaho
This podcast just shows how much you give to your family ❤
Communication is a skill. Discussing things like differences in opinions, is not done once lang. It’s over dinners and drinks and progresses over time. As long as you know you’re on the same side. Sweet (use the good words) honesty and timing takes care of everyone. It’s not just luck also.
I think circumstantial rin yung people bringing up past mistakes eh, especially if that mistake still affects the person you committed it too like "bullying" etc up till now. Yes, you have changed and moved on pero yung naka receive ng mistake still have that life long trauma and that's why apologies isn't enough for some to just move on.
Relate ako kay Chardie ❤ Middle child and keri lang as long na we can provide.
Middle child din ako at ako na ang breadwinner ng family since wala na si tatay at may mga asawa na ang ate at kuya ko. Pero laban lang 😊
masasabi mo talaga minsan na toxic ung sinasabi syo ng mga magulang mo..pero pagdating ng panahon at pagtanda mo masasabi mo na tama pla sila at malamang ganun din ang gagawin mo
The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position. Don’t let your mistakes define you and never conform to what society dictatates.
I think it depends on the person who has this "responsibility" kung sa tingin mo you can give or provide and at the same time you can sustain yourself and save then I think its fine epro kung its not helping you grow and feels like this responsibility pulls you down then there might be something wrong.
Ang ganda nyong panoorin, madami akong natututunan. Real talk lang, lahat kayo my point of view at willing to share it. God bless you all 😊
Ang utang na loob ay hindi binabayaran dahil there's no way you can pay enough that utang na loob. Ito ay tinatanaw in the sense na may mga bagay na ikukusang loob mong gawin at hindi ito dapat ipilit sa iyo. Pero walang mapagkalinga at matulunging anak ang hindi binless ng Lord lalo na kung bukal sa loob nyang umalalay sa kanyang magulang. :)
Found this blog while looking for "podcasts para hindi antukin"😂 it does the job plus I can relate to some.
Hooooy teka naman, grabe ka shoot sa banga ang mga topics niyo. Huhu literal na nangyayare ngayon sa family namin. 😢😢😢
Ang obligation depende sa situation ng pamilya or magulang.
Kung matatanda na ang magulang mo at hnd na kaya mag trabaho alangan naman mamalimos cla sa kalye tapos ikaw pasarap ka sa buhay. Pero kung madamot ka talaga lahat ng dahilan sasabihin mo para lang hnd ka na makapag bigay sa magulang, ganun lang yun
Mga Miiiiii thank you for tackling this topic. Thank you kasi I felt na valid lang yung feelings fo in terms of providing sa fam. Lamuch po
I was a fan of these vloggers and this podcasts really some people to be enlightened that we are living in this era where toxicity is around us. Hoping to discuss more toxic culture whether in the lgbtq or others. Thanks and more power
"We become a better person from our experiences" 😳😳😳
I've been watching every episode of your podcast (now on my second run) and the wisdom from all 4 of you inspires me so much. I've been feeling so alone and listening and watching everyone laughing and supporting one another helps me feel less alone while I work from home. I especially love this episode because DAMN toxic Pinoy culture is actually a huge potential block. Honestly. I'm the eldest in my family and as soon as I graduated, my relatives started attacking me for "not providing as much as I should" and that it was my "time to give back and dedicate my life to providing for my family". It's been hard to save for myself so I definitely relate. I'm sooo excited to see you all blossom in the industry!!!
I hope marame pang episode kayong magawa super na iinspired ako dame ko natutunan sa inyo please make more money episode❤ more love to you all
Sobrang fun nito! Yung mic nalang po hehe mejo di balance yung timpla ng mic ng isa’t isa ❤ pero kudos sa 4 queens, ang sarap nyo panoorin!
First time ko taposin ang whole podcast ... ganda ng topic 😊
oh my..i can totally relate on this...lalo na ung pagiging bread winner ng family..pano pa ako Bunso? 😅 REAL TALK tlga to..Love it
this is my fave episode, 2nd time ko na inulit. Super relate po. :) Thank you po for creating this podcast.
That whole treating your children like raffle tickets is kind of weird. Here in the US and UK, parents usually set their offsprings up for success by the time they leave the nest when they turn 16 (UK) & 18(US). Afterwards, the parents can just enjoy and live their best life since they've already devoted 16-18 years of their lives to raising their kids.
In fact, I feel like they just want to get us out of their hair. Also, they don't expect their kids to care for them during their retirement all the way to their late years.
Thanks guys isa n nmn kau na nadiskubre ko para mapatawa nio ako at mabawasan lungkot dto sa ibang bansa.shout out nmn guys watching here saudi arabia
Oh myyyyyyy... So labeeeeeeeeet... I love how you share your thoughts with each other... More videos and more power... Thank you!!!! Love you all... #Salute
The idea of having plenty of children and one becoming a retirement fund is actually sad 🥺
Admittedly, that's how most parents think of their children in the future. Nagiging obligatory tuloy at some point.
Whatever it is, to everyone, mostly to the breadwinners, YOU GUYS EXIST, YOU ARE VALUED and YOU ARE AMAZING 🧡🧡🧡
I really love you all, binge watching from ep 1 to 2 realquick
Grabe! Gustong gusto ko yung ganitong podcast nyo! 🥰🥰🥰
Ganda ng discussions nyo. Very relatable. Keep it up mga ate. Lagi nako nakababad smga usapan nyo.
Grabe worth listening tong podcast na to.
prang ang saya2 ng smahan niyo kya mas gstu q ung mga gantong tao kase ttooo ..❤.
this is my fav EP kasi naka relate ako sa kinocorrect ng ibang tao
Ang witty ni poka gosh . Love it
We all need to hear this ❣️❣️.. more episode please
i just discovered your podcast tapos eto pa 1st topic na napakinggan ko.. relate!
Excessive is when you are already forgetting yourself
Give them a fish, they’ll survive for the day. TEACH them HOW TO FISH, they’ll survive for a lifetime.
Imho 'utang na loob' is not synonymous with 'giving back', so these terms shouldn't be interchangeable sksksks i think the 'utang na loob' term itself is problematic in these modern times. Your parents raised you and it is their responsibility, so technically you don't owe them anything. However, giving back to them is not necessarily 'paying' them back, as human as we are can't we just view it as loving them?? I don't know if that makes sense but I love my parents, I will give my everything to them without the mentality that I owe them anything.
This is an ASIAN TOXIC CULTURE ata not only filipino kase I found someone sa tiktok na naglabas ng hinanaing nya towards her parents na same issue din very toxic and she's a chinese as far as I remember. And if we are aware about it, we should break that curse (I think it's a curse talaga since it is a generational problem) for our next generation.
My fave so far
Love you mga Mhie.. despite ng kalungkotan na iibsan yun dahil sa inyo... 😘 Love you all..
I am really curious if meron dito na galing sa mas nakakatandang generation… what are their opinions?
Kasi pansin ko sa family namin, when we talk about these things, tahimik mga matatanders or they don’t listen at all.
I am the type of person na I am very open to listen and hear someone out if they have a different opinion eh. I hinestly want to know why or why not…
Very relatable topic. Thank you guys!!!!!!
Couldn't agree more Chardie B when you mentioned your opinion about "UTANG NA LOOB". Very nice!
Wowwwww i love it gurls love y’all thank you soo much very deep I learn something.. 😍😍😘😘🥰🥰💗💗💗💗 best regards from OKLAHOMA 🇺🇸
So true mga to. Lahat ng bayarin sameng 2 baklang magkapatid. Panganay at bunso sa 4 na magkakapatid, mga selfish beings. Mga straight na lalaki pa naman sila pero di man lang maghanap ng work. Kaming 2 middle children pala ang kumakayod. I do not want to have a family of my own. A partner in life but not have kids.
a podcast I never knew I needed
love love mga miimaa
Ang talino naman ni Chardie
I love you all❤❤sarap nyo panoorin😊😊
Ang tatalino naman nito😊
Sana next time may mga guest na😊😊😊
Ako yung bunso bat ako ngpoprovide” i always ask this.
Everytime i provide pa they would ask bat ganto lng?.
Meron pang time ng ask kapatid ko kelan k mg papadala pag namatay n lola mo😢
Nakkapagod kase ni kamusta hindi magawa, never ko n feel n they care about me , they dont care about my personal needs.
Kahit kamusta lng sana at masabi ko n hirap din ako na may pangangailangan din ako.
This is so refreshing! 👏🏼
I go with chardie..what if ok ka sa buhay mo while your parents or younger siblings are struggling..can you bear that to think you have the capacity?tulungan lng..if ndi mo kaya di wag..hehe
shat puno para sa mga panganay na pinapasahan nag lahat!
Thankyou for this episode.
Makaka "shet oo nga" ka dito 🥺
Ang ganda mga mii sobrang relate ako😢😅
Dumating Ako sa moment na first time kong nilakasan Ang volume ng tv Namin para marining ng mga magulang ko! Hahahahahaha.
Bloga you are so genuine at heart
💯 Percent True... Sad but true.. 😢😅
Thank you for making this kind of video