If Jessica lost her cool and went ape sh**t, the guests would think she's the one kicking up a fuss. This is an industry where your reputation is at steak, you have to think 100 times before speaking or acting. Well done for being assertive and selfless.
Jess... you may not believe this but you did right. And YOU were the professional. I don't understand why some photogs can be such "rectums." I usually include those guests with cameras in a shoot; I let them get their photos, and I even give them advice. Guess what? The wannabe photogs will ASSIST me in posing the subjects. So HE was used for the video... and YOU were chosen as the photog... wow, send him a package of Preparation H!
@@IamMediaUK True (goodness, you made such an excellent comment) and that can also be viewed as a personality flaw. Pushy and overly aggressive individuals quickly come to mind. Also, sorry to say, cops and uniformed employees that forget they are public SERVANTS, and must be constantly reminded... so they do not continue to self-authorize and continue to try to strip the public of our rights, freedoms and liberties as guaranteed to each and every one of us by the Supreme Law of the Land: OUR Constitution.
Your first response, when he yelled at you the first time, was PERFECT. Asking your clients what you should do was very professional and just over all the best response possible because you ignored him completly and showed him that the only opinion that matters to you is that of your clients. 💕
I think you are so right and how unprofessional of him to risk stressing out the client for his own selfish gain. I think at a wedding it should be about the bride and the groom and not about filling pockets. Agreements about how to shoot are made before hand for a reason. For everyone's sake. He fights dirty.
If I was that bride, I would be so disappointed. Imagine having spent all that money to have one of your vendors maliciously try to sabotage another vendor you're paying huge amounts of money as well to book.
I'm a retired wedding photographer. My advice to avoid these types of scenarios he is to have an official photography clause in your contract. Something that states you and/or your team are the only official photographers on that day. Keep a copy on you during your shoot. Based on your video they weren't sabotaging you, they were stealing from you . This would put a different spin on your private conversation with him. Because at the end of the day ,its the client (Bride) is the one who is being sabotaged.
That's what I was thinking. She said many times he was taking pictures. He should do only video. She shouldn't let him dictate from the beginning. I was surprised the client even asked her to change lens and what not for the videographer. The videographer was there for the client not the other way around.
For that photographer it was a d*ck measuring competition, I'm guessing he was going to present his photos as better than hers and ask for an extra, putting shade on her and putting her as unnecessary, that's how a narcissist would work
@@palacinkasmarmeladou it’s also weird that the bride let him take pictures idk but I personally wouldn’t let the videographer take photos even if they could just because I wouldn’t know if it would interfere with the photographer I specifically hired for my wedding day.
@@ThymeofGhost I don't think it's that weird, I think she didn't know what was going on. This was so far from the only thing she had to worry about that day, it probably wasn't on her radar. Especially because she hired two teams of professionals and had a very reasonable expectation of professional behavior. I wouldn't have thought about babysitting some old man on a power trip.
I’m a videographer myself and everyone knows on a wedding day, the photographer is the MOST important. We as videographers need to be a fly on the wall and out of the photographers way. They will not frame videos and put them around the house. Sorry that happened to you. They need to check themselves lol
She could just make second account, and post his name xD. Noone would know it was her. She could just say. Yes i was there amd it was that team.. noone would know it was her :)).
The client should've intervened and defended you, and not allow the videographer treat a person she had chosen and hired that way! Maybe next time you should be firm and clear about the way you work, and not agree to change your lenses or working style or anything! Because you deserve it, and you should set your conditions too. Props to you for dealing with the situation with grace! 👏
Daria Khailova i agree, like at the golden hour shoot she talked about, clients could’ve said hey someone go call Jessica, cause she’s the photographer, instead of accepting them taking pictures...
@@byevia_ I understand your point but also, maybe the couple didn't know where lines end/blur etc. I'm not sure they're in the field and may not understand the difference. Also, in the end, you can see she really does say the couple AND their family stood up for her.
@@medioreblatherskite THEY hired Jessica to do the photos, and the other guy to do the video. Surely it should twig that something is weird when the video guy is conducting a photo shoot?
Every time she talked about possibly handling the situation better, I thought about how many of us would have considered throwing a punch by that point.
1. You are a woman 2. You "took" his job. As a woman photographer in eastern europe, i get this sometimes. Where i come from, sometimes the clients don't hear me but they hear any other man when he speaks. I have stories....
I have experienced this too! I’m a photographer and was doing a commercial shoot where the videographer was male. The model barely acknowledged me / my direction and only took direction from + gave so much energy to the male videographer..
@@shannserrao8690 I know exactly how it is. I had a groom once that would reject all of my propositions for the photo shoot. After running out of ideas(he said no to everything) I asked him: how would you like me to take the pictures? His response: well you are the photographer, you should have ideas. Oh, and another time. I went to a baptism with what I tought would be some romani people, so I took my husband as "assistant" so I wouldn't get into trouble. Turns out they were not romani but my husband stayed for the event. After everything was over, guests form the event will come and congratulate my husband on a job well done. Let me explain. My husband never touched the equipment, he couldn't even give me the 85mm lens if I asked for it because he doesn't know which one it is. All he did was carry my equipment. That's it. 😅
Maybe? but as a guy, I have had other guys bother me in my work :) you can get people that will just think they are better than everyone. I work with a model, I do most of her photographs but she has been approached by photographers who have tired to convince her to ditch me for them!!!! she put them straight :) apart from the photography, me and her get on well, I involve her with the pictures I take! we share ideas and opinions! have a joke! it's all down to earth. some photographers are like robots who command people about!!
@@Gibson1976uk if you were a woman, they would have succeeded. Trust me. I photograph ballet in my country from 2006. I always photograph the school shows. I am very good at it. One of the best in my country. That does not stop however the teachers always trying to get other photographers involved thinking that they know better. 100% there is a guy that is "replacing" me. 100% of the time teachers come back to me after they see the results from the other "professionals"
This sounds so frustrating. I was thinking from the start of this video that it might be a gender thing. Some men just like humiliating and dominating women unfortunately. I've only ever had good experiences working with videographers, but I've come across my fair share of moody and aggressive people working at weddings I've shot. It's someone's wedding day - the day they will remember for the rest of their lives. Maintaining a good, happy atmosphere is more important that getting a video shot. If you start to act like this videographer did, you have failed at the most important job you have at someone's wedding.
It's badass you realize that as a man. As silly as it sounds a lot of men, even if they aren't the ones talking down to you, refuse to admit another man can treat a woman like that. They make you feel like you're crazy, you are just over reacting and imagining things.
Well those men better learn right how to behave because it is absolutely not possible to let this things happens. He is gonna find somebody stronger than him someday and gonna regret this.
Yes absolutely..I was just about to type that I think this guy was a misogynist b'coz he sure as hell came across as one..I'm so glad someone else thinks the same thing especially you being a guy!..I was literally screaming it out loud in my head...arggh MISOGYNIST right there!..
this makes me think people should put a clause that says if you as photographer are being obstructed from being able to do your job properly, you are not responsible for the photos that are missed. Idk if that would work, but this makes me scared!
Jerica Lowman I have it in my contact but some video teams acting like they really don’t care 🤷♀️ I have the same experience. It was 4 video guys against one female photographer (me). The bride really want one wide shoot with out other vendor in a frame and we ask for 3 minutes with “clean space”, put it in a contact. Only 3 min. They accepted but on ceremony went crazy, ruin this wide frame, tell me horrible things and almost made bride to cry. never get this “war”. We should work in a team to make our clients happy. Love to work with healthy videography 😂 Please be friendly with other vendors and respect clients choose!
The sad part is the bride and groom should have fired him the moment he yelled at you like how can he disrespect in their wedding on front of everyone and if they hired u too why would they work with him ?
@@baabaq9126 She said he was also a photographer but they had her for that. If I was the bride I would say if they continue to disrespect my wedding and disrespecting my staff or the rest of the photographers they will be fired. I wouldn't want drama in my wedding just professional civilized people who respect others nomatter how talented they are. But just my thoughts I would hire this young lady to do everything not only for her talent but her professionalism. ❤️
I shot weddings for about 5 or 6 years. When they go bad, it's the WORST!!! Had a brides mom yell at me, in front of the bride/groom (groom and I were friends). I said, "Ok, I'll just go." and I walked away, packing up to leave. Groom stopped me, begged me to stay. The bride talked to her mom, and the mom never even looked at me again. Crazy woman.
Lol you a g ma guy 😂😂 boss move its true tho they infact need us so if they act like bafoons we have the upper hand to be like no what are they gonna say ? Nothing exactly lol ay props man
As a wedding photographer for almost 30 years, here is some advice to live by: 1. Put in your contract that you are the primary and only photographer. Any people that cause you to defray from your job on that day will be asked to step aside. 2. As primary, any video company shall be considered "second" and take direction from you as to the lead of the day. This isn't to sound like you are bossing him/her around, but rather you are in charge of posing and scouting locations. You will gladly share possible shots with him as he is to share with you (common courtesy). I always set up a shot, take the pic and then ask video if he wants it. If he has an idea, he usually asks and then asks me if I want the shot. Lastly, in this situation, I believe the bride threw you under the bus. By that I mean that this guy knew about you.... maybe she explained something like you were young. She should have stepped in at the point when she saw he was being aggressive. I would have went to the bride and said something like this... "Mary, this video guy is aggressive and making my job impossible. He is breaking the rules of my contract. Either he backs down, or I'm out of here." You have to grow a set of balls my dear. This has been a male dominated industry for years.
As video, I have it in my contract that I am lead ... (It does not excuse the jerk of this dude, and I don't even attempt to take photos while I am doing video.) I have never had a clash with a photographer though. IDK
@@kloiemartin-peterson5459 To answer your question, if I was secondary, I would definitely try and communicate with the primary person before hand. Let him or her know where I will be placing cameras and mics. (I usually have a static wide camera somewhere at the event that is on continuous record.) 99% of the people are really friendly and you have no problem communicating your needs. While working I really don't want anything to do with posed photos, but maybe that's just my style. Only during the ceremony is the only time it really gets hard. I do photojournalism for a living full time and video work on the side. I know both ends of the spectrum fairly well. I can tell you a photographer is in a cinematographer's shot a lot more than vice versa. It really is just the nature of the beast. It happens for 3 simple reasons: 1) you are recording a lot longer than a photographer, more time for people to go in and out of frame. 2) You have to hold your shots longer, once you set down you are static for longer periods of time. While a photographer can move around. 3) You can't crop nearly as well in video. (You can often crop unnecessary things out that take away from the picture in photography.) I am not a super high end gig like the company described in the video, so it is usually just myself and one other person.
What a prime example of "toxic masculinity". It's frustrating dealing with that kind of energy especially in a professional environment. I'm sorry you had to deal with people like that but i'm glad you stood up for yourself when he spoke to you again. Go YOU!!!!
Yes, GO YOU Jessica! That is definitely a toxic individual. Do not blame yourself or justify his horrible behaviour! It must have been awful being there but you were so professional and assertive so you should be really proud of yourself. I’ve been through something similar and it was the most awful experience and I actually had nightmares after. You could not have done a better job and been more professional there. So big kudos! These individuals are toxic, manipulative, and insecure and will do this to everyone, so don’t take it personally. They pulled all the classic manipulative moves, like triangulating by being nice to your second shooter and mean to you. Let’s hope you never have to meet or work with anyone like that ever again.
Ive had women photographers act this way. Its about the ego that some creatives have on a set or event. I don't appreciate people getting in my way in a disrespectful manner. Those people I put them in their place right away.
It also makes me mad no one else said anything, if I was the bride or bridesmaid and saw that I’d be pissed and would’ve told him off cause he was clearly screwing things up
Wow kayla, you'd still give a paycheck after dismissing the videographer for their behavior? I'd let them know the deal would also be off on account of their behavior and if they didn't like it, they would be speaking with my attorney.
@@Cyhcg5uhgb I know there are contracts that they will provide. However, as a client I would add a provision in writing on the document that any behavior deemed by the client to be of malice or negativity towards any guest or another vendor will null this agreement in its entirety. "
My uncle got remarried years after my aunt passed away, and he asked me to photograph his wedding. One of their friends brought a camera/flash with him to the wedding and he was up my butt the whole day! He was crawling on the floor in front of me, would stand right next to me as I was shooting, trying to get the same photo, and ruined some because his flash was popping off at the same time as mine. My second shooter/friend talked to him a couple of different times asking him not to do that, or at least not shoot as we were. But he just laughed and kept doing it. I 100% think it's because I was younger and a woman. Flash forward a couple years later and my uncles stepdaughter was getting married. They asked us to photograph and he was there! He tried doing it again and I was like uh uh! You don't get to do this twice. So, when he would try and get in my way I would walk directly in front of him and plant my feet down and get the shot I needed/wanted. I'm generally not an assertive person, so it was my passive aggressive way of doing it lol. He got the hint and finally quit doing it during the reception. It totally sounds like this guy was salty AF because he wasn't hired as the photographer. Kudos to you for handling it the way you did! Probably the most professional way you could've done it, and he came out looking like a jerk (because he was lol).
Girl , my blood pressure is UP!! I REFUSE to take wedding photos now because of how many awful experiences I had . Ughhhhh , so happy you were able to stay as a true professional , but I low key wanna know who this guy is just so I can leave him a horrible yelp rating
You think that's bad? TRY working a wedding, and have guests or the bride's family members trying to give you orders and directions! That's why I tell the person who contracts me that I do not take orders from guests or family members and to inform them before I have to... I include that in the contract.
@its electrik We're posting bad experiences; not all experiences are bad. I've had some very rewarding wedding experiences, far more good ones than bad ones... believe that. Oftentimes you'll find a few "rectums" who'll take it upon themselves to try to tell you what to do, or start ordering you around but if you speak with whoever hired you, that can be straightened out quickly. I opt for diplomacy, and go about ignoring the anuses.
I've done ~535 weddings in the past 20 years, and I've had 2 or 3 bridezillas and 2 or 3 momzillas. But it's the videographers more than anyone that raise my blood pressure. Half of them have been fine and will work with me to insure the client is happy. The other half think the damned wedding is supposed to be a big Hollywood production with THEIR name in lights up on the marquee. Ugh. 'Glad you survived that jerk.
Lol @ Hollywood production 😂 that is legit what it sounds like…that man had an entourage, drones and cranes. I’m surprised he wasn’t yelling “action” and “cut” lol
This is how jealousy and sexism combined can turn someone into a disgusting human being. I’m sorry you had to go through that. You’re so brave and professional and I hate that you had to deal with that alone.
You weren't both working for the same goal though. You were working to give your client a good experience and capture memories for her, and the other guy was working to service his old bitter ego.
This guy sounds like he's only professional at being PETTY and his team! Good job at staying strong and finishing the shoot. Also I really think he did feel threatened by you since you're young and a women.
That was my first idea - he wanted the photographer job for his company. It’s disgusting, that he didn’t care for his clients’ best interests, but acted out like a freaky ego maniac.
23:50 "Do you think it was because you were the only female on the creative team?" I was thinking this the moment you talked about the first phone call and he was dismissive of your imploring about the permit and the garden. And then once you confirmed you had a second shooter, who was a guy, and his experience was completely fine, I felt pretty resolute that it just boiled down to you being a woman. That honestly sucks. I'm sorry you went through that and I give you ALL the kudos for maintaining professionalism throughout that nightmarish ordeal. It shows your true character and why people love to work with you.
I was literally wondering "so were you the only girl...?" because the ENTIRE video I was getting flashbacks to my incredibly, ridiculously, viciously, horribly misogynistic boss who sabotaged me constantly!! I really believe it's because you're a girl and he's a bullying narcissist and I think that's all there is to it. Thank you for this video, I also kept playing scenes from that job over in my head over and over and wondering what I did wrong, so it's actually a huge relief to know I'm not the only one... thank you 🙏💖 My ex-boss's reputation in the industry is trash, too. Word gets around when you're a world-class jerk.
I’m so glad your friends confronted the videographer afterwards! If it was my wedding and I saw my videographer treat my friend that way, he would be fired on the spot. I could never be comfortable or complacent with anyone who acts like that 😤
He most likely lied. He didn’t have any permits. He just mentioned it to come off as “entitled” but when pushed, he couldn’t produce what the clients wanted. I just don’t understand ppl that feel they have to run the show w/out considering anyone else 😳
When it’s your wedding day you aren’t paying attention to that stuff. You’re thinking about saying hello and thank you to every guest. You’re thinking about your first dance and your wedding party. You hire professionals to do their job so you don’t have to think about it.
Sounds like you threatened him. He probably couldn’t understand why he wasn’t hired for everything. He’s nothing but a Bully! Good for you standing your ground! You were very professional!
@@JessicaKobeissi I'm a DV/Trauma Survivor and my Abusers keep getting jobs. Why? Because they work like a charm with their charm on people 🙃 They pretend to be so lovely to others, but behind the scenes are such nasty people.
@@JessicaKobeissi Thank you so much for sharing so other photographers can be aware that these situations really do happen. (PS you inspire me so much)
Bullies like this tend to care a LOT about their image and know who to suck up to. But the industry is small no matter where you are and their true selves tend to catch up with them eventually.
I was getting so incredibly heated watching this video. My blood was absolutely boiling for you. Jessica, I'm so sorry you had this experience! You are amazing and thank you for sharing this with the rest of us!
I’m guessing he heard you were a “friend” and assumed that you weren’t a real photographer. As soon as he starts taking photos instead of video, that should’ve been your que to take charge and be like “nope!” But honestly, this has to be worked out before the wedding day. That call about his demands were the warning sign, and his attempt to demand that he gets priority.
I hope you never use that second shooter again I never could imagine a gentleman allowing anything to happen without paying attention to the person who brought him to the party
I don't agree with this, the second shooter was there to work as well, so I think it's completely understandable if he didn't notice it until she told him. And I would guess the second shooter is someone that she chose to have there, so I would advice to at least respect him and not say such a unnecessary thing. I'm disappointed at the people who have liked this comment tbh...
Yerik Evenou I’m not sure what situation you’re referring to however if someone hired me to assist him during the shoot and something was going down that made that person very upset I will be very aware. I’m not an ignorant person I like to know everything is going on especially in my surroundings.
By the way what photographer worth their salt is not aware of what’s going on in this situation. If the Bride was upset I will be there too it doesn’t matter
@@breedlejuice8691 she mentioned that they were visibly kinda freaked out when he got verbally aggressive with Jessica. It seems like the couple could’ve said something then.
when talking about what you could've said or done, i think the lesson here is that you were learning to be more assertive in the moment. definitely don't beat yourself up about it, he's not worth it! but next time you have a difficult person, stay in the moment and stand up firmly and calmly for yourself. i know this was some time ago but yeah, that's the take away from it. i still have to practice staying in the moment and standing up for myself, its hard to do sometimes, but so worth it. people will try to take a piece of you - don't let them!
This was the craziest blood boiling story I’ve ever heard. That guy was a complete---- but I agree professionalism is best. Unfortunately, I started shooting small weddings, but issues similar to yours has turned me away from shooting weddings any longer. This guy has a date with Karma, he’s going to have a client matching his attitude and will be taught a serious lesson.
I hate when it happens, taking photos and not missing a moment is already stressful enough on a wedding but then when you have to also defend yourself and fight to get the photos you want it’s a nightmare.
I think they buddied up with your second shooter so that if you complained about the situation it would look like you were making it up, like you were the only one who saw that happening. Evil.
Yep, I've experienced this three times too. I found out later, that all of them video teams I encountered in such ways were basically angry at the loss of photo packages they could have sold, so they tried to stifle my images. Similar to you, twice they did the same by shootinmg photos anyway, without me being aware that easily, so they could show their "better" phots in comparison to mine and upsell. Also, give me a automatic bad rep of incompetence, hoping the bride/grrom wont recommend me further. I've heard this hapoen to other togs too. Not all 'artists' are artists.
It sucks that this kind of behaviour is this common... It shows that those people are only there for the paycheck and become spoiled kids when they don't get what they want. I believe there has to be more positive things from becoming friends and helping other creatives than trying to "crush" them down. I feel sorry you had to go through all that bs
This... Is... INFURIATING. He was acting like a badly-socialised five-year-old boy worried that his toy would get stolen!!! And like a classic low-confidence bully, he did it in places that were harder for other people to witness. I'm so sorry this happened to you, I was physically fizzing up as you told this story 😠 Like you said, thankfully professionalism wins - all the ladies, especially, who saw how he treated you will avoid him like the plague when the time comes for their own weddings
why am i just realising u shot pewdiepie and marzia's wedding photography LMAOOO - i distinctly remember the initial shock to how phenomenal the pictures were, no wonder i enjoy ur content haha
You’re competition to him, he tried to steal your staff and take you down. He might have done the same thing if you were a guy. You said all the right things. Sounds like he has money, he will find out that will not save him if he gets a bad rep.
Yup. I feel for you. I no longer do wedding videography but have heard similar stories of photographers being treated horribly by some of the bigger wedding videography companies that only get asked to do the video. Insanely selfish. Listening to your story brought back some of those old memories. You did a professional job. Well done.
It’s a good thing you’re saying this because if it was me in that situation, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my cool. But the most important lesson out of this video is to maintain your professionalism. And that’s what I will always remember going forward now.
If i was charging, i would of gone to the client said this guy is compromising my ability to get the best shots. If i don't get shot time i outa here. Your choice. Basically why should you have to put up with sh!t just for a wedding
I can't stand selfish people like that. Kudos to you. Much love and respect for you. Stand firm. If I ever met that guy I'd give him a piece of my mind. Don't ever disrespect like that. Don't know you personally but I got you. 🤙🌹 (hugs)
That sounds so stressful. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t stand when people put you in a situation where they act childish but if you do anything it makes you look like the bad guy. This story gave me so much second hand anxiety 😬. Good for you for rising above it and thank you for sharing!
@@princessalia6 I chuckled a little...then was like...is 35mm a gun too? If so, my husband should be super scared every time I say, hold on while I grab my 35 when mad!
Girl no. Like I’m so proud of you! Don’t even worry about what you could have said. You were so kind and brave and professional and strong and I can only hope I would have reacted that way. I’m afraid I would have yelled back while crying and ruined my whole freaking career over one stupid man. You did so good Jessica. You’re a Queen. Thank you so much for sharing. ♥️
And this is why I don’t take up weddings. I rather just have my own models and clients like family shoots. I stop doing big events cause there was always a problem with the other person. Smh being a female photographer in a man world sometimes can be hard. I’m glad you held it down. There were many times I had to walk away and hold myself. Cause I’m not about to do some drama in front of my clients and then ruin all I work for. Cause someone wants to be the only photographer.
hearing this alone was getting me choked up. I use to do weddings as someone's second shooter for videography and my experiences were mainly intrusive, competitive, diva/catty photographers. There was a time where i was walking weddings back to back and i was sooo sensitive to the photographers/videographers behavior. One wedding, no groomsmen- just a maid of honor and me as the bridesmaid, the photographer kept referring to us as random numbers or "girl" and never wanted pictures of us with the bride. Especially me, being that the MOH was her sister, so when i asked him politely if he could take some- he threw the biggest fit. Even sabotaged the videographer during the first dance just like this guy mentioned. As a videographer, at the time, it annoyed me to see that- only to find out they were a TEAM. even sillier of him. some people in the field are just shameless to their colleagues and clients.
Good job on keeping your cool, being professional and patient still with this. This guy seems awful and that’s very unprofessional of him and his crew.
he's not worth the title photographer. you go girl! amazing how you still had put ur clients in first place, must have been an awefull day -_-. And omg that last few 5 mins, you so right
Some older men really are stuck in their ways & don't think women can do things just as good as them or better. I've heard people talking & all I could think is you have to be stupid to even think like that.
@Katie Saarikko Never happened to me but my little cousin who is also a photographer told me that at his last gig some guy was telling him he need to get better strobe lights & that the one's he have are cheap & he should of shopped at B&H. Whoever it was must not have known as much as he was pretending to know because my cousin has the Flashpoint XPLOR 600 which is the same thing as the Godox AD600 that they sell at B&H.
@Katie Saarikko When a man does that to you do it right back to him. That's how man behave with one another. Question his ability as though he's incompetent, in a very professional voice. He'll STFU fast!
As a wedding videographer, it’s sad to hear that. I’ve heard this many times and I can’t believe it. I haven’t gone through this yet and I hope I never do. You handled it very well.
You're such a sweet person and you have such a warm soul. That guy is a *********!!!!!! I've had my share as well. I shot weddings for about 8 years on my own, and also did video. Most weddings were really fun but there were a handful where people like this guy were around and some were in the bridal party. I really need to do a few videos like what you just did Jessica...it will help people out to know it's not an easy job. Your story is just one reason I got out of weddings awhile ago. The toxic and stress was ruining the creative fun with the people at the wedding. Many more reasons as well.
this story had me boiling in all kinds of ways!! Your patience, tolerance and professionalism are incredible!!! side note: if im present in an environment where one professional decides to not act in such way and yell at anyone else, I would stop that at the core... Question: did you ever followed up with that individual? did you confront him??
Sounds like they were trying to cultivate/poach your second shooter. Anyway, that sounds like a miserable experience, that you handled amazingly well. He's lucky he didn't get a 35mm lens down his throat.
I passed for many experiences like this.. MANY.... I touched my heart today coz when you encounter that many of those psico demons... Your heart ends up drained to the core and you feel like doing nothing... Not even my RUclips channel But you didn't stop there and then you continued... Such a warrior... Keep on creating 🤯❤️💎🙌
thanks for sharing! I went through a similar situation but in this case, I was the videographer and another guy and his assistant were taking the photos. And where suppose to organise food, dogs for the shoot and transport. The first day we had no food at all and he claimed that he couldn't find any dog to hire, which I then went home to fix in 2 hours lol. Anyway, it started out by him asking me questions like "did you ever work with a team before", "can I see your portfolio" etc. and I'm like dude, I'm already hired and it's not your job to check my background. Once we arrived at set the first day his assistant was very rude to me the entire time, but of course super friendly with all others (especially the client). They told me I was in the way all the time and I had like five minutes here and there to try to capture something and out of this, the client was expecting FIVE small commercials. I had written a script including locations weeks before, that everyone had read, and when I asked if we could go to some of the locations where we had agreed on doing the video shoot the photographer told me that we didn't have enough time and drove to the locations he wanted to shoot at instead. His assistant on purpose walked into every single frame while I was shooting, can you imagine how it was to edit that afterwards... Both of them were also much older but yet so insecure. The third day I took a break just to cry and took a step back since the clients didn't intervene either (even though I told them about the problem the first evening). In the end, they were very pleased with the commercials even though I almost didn't have enough footage and his photographs (that the assistant was checking while shooting them) looked so so. Never doing that again.
Can you show us some pictures from the wedding? I'm interested how your pictures are looking under this circumstances. (I guess they are perfect and beautiful no matter what happened :).)
I'm a male photographer and I have had to deal with several videographers like this, he was pissed that you took a bite out of his photo/video package and he wanted the end result to be a big "Ha told you so" to the bride and groom by sabotaging your shoot.
You should put the videographer service/ company on blast a little bit. If people knew there were these kinds of people out in the industry they wouldn’t hire them. Especially with the wedding day you guys should be working together. It doesn’t only affect your business but the wedding photos and environment as well. That had nothing to do with you and everything to do with his ego... that’s really hard to have to work with those kinds of people in general. Good for you standing your ground at the end! Those are the types of things that need to be known. It’s not about ruining his business but for people who come after you in this industry too. The more people stay quiet about these things people will never know what actually goes on behind the scenes.
Omg... I hardly comment... But you were insanely professional... I'm not sure I could have kept it together if someone did this to me... This isn't just sabotage its just being plain wicked for absolutely no reason and the video team is no different... A thousand salutes to you honestly!
Man, I feel for you, Jessica. The video team were a bunch of jerks. I was shocked and appalled when you mentioned being female as a possible reason for their ill-mannered attitude.
I always feel a bit nervous with camera jobs :) you never know who's going to be about and 9/10 it all goes fine, you will get someone bother you at some point :) I like my free time in the middle of nowhere! countryside etc. taking landscape stuff just for fun
If this ever happened to me I wouldve told the client that he shouldn't be taking photos because it's in our contract that my team is the only photographers. But if he was talking to me like that I would've took him in another room and we would've had a quick "chat"
Sorry about the terrible experience and thanks for sharing as it will help others avoid such a situation. I can also totally relate to not knowing what to say or do in the moment. Once he said no 35mm and no simultaneous shooting, I would have backed out of the arrangement, because I will be worried about missing good candids while waiting turns. It was obvious that we would have gotten in each others way.
I had a really bad experience similar to this. I was young and still fairly new at weddings and the bride's sister "surprised" her by hiring another photographer. I didn't know until I showed up. He wasn't nearly as nasty as your guy, but he was doing similar things like setting up whole photo shoots with them the second I had my back turned, I ended up giving up towards the end and it was 6 more years before I took on another wedding. I still love photography but I only do it these days for me or as personal favors for friends/family.
I know people like this. They always have a chip on their shoulder because they are paranoid about other people for some reason they imagined in their head. they make you the enemy when they are the one who is acting like an enemy. they talk to everyone else and manipulate others into not liking you. Sometimes, if you get funny vibes from people, even if it's a job, just don't take it. I have refused certain situations just because I had a bad feeling about it and I'm usually right. While your client is important, so is your mental state. And I think they purposely were nice to your second shooter because that's team splitting. It's a tactic I've seen before. He wanted your second shooter to invalidate your experiences, act like you crazy, and turn against you. From what I see in your story, he has turned other people against you. I know people who are sooooo nice to everyone but me and then when you say "oh he's mean to me", they are like you're wrong and starting trouble. Luckily, that didn't happen with you with your second shooter but I do believe he manipulated others to try and go against you.
I am a female early 30s photographer who has been shooting weddings for 8ish years in southern/midwestern USA. I've had so many male videographers (not to target guys but they are usually male) walk all over me during the wedding day as though my shots and thoughts were clearly second to theirs. Though I always operate by the assumption of helping each other out rather than competing for the bride and groom's time so I bend over backward to accommodate the videographer to be "nice". This video made me so mad for you Jessica! You are a phenomenal lady and I would be scared to be that videographer if he were confronted by all your supporters who watched this video. Thank you for sharing your story so I know it's not just me
when you said you froze and cried in the bathroom - thank you! im defensive too but not in formal/ public situations where i can ruin a mood. thank you for being real and totally relatable!!! I would have mentioned your initial convo with him to the bride and groom though... if you get bad vibes they are 99% right.... but you were the bigger person. Love your content!!
I just wanna put this out there ... addressing these issues directly and/or with your client is an act of client care. Allowing problematic people to interfere with someones special day like that can be really bad, and you're not only hurting yourself by allowing them to do that but you can also hurt the client. As far as I'm concerned, if someone is interfering with your job, then your client isn't receiving the service that they paid you for. I do think it's acceptable to push back on people like this. But everyone is different so at the end of the day do what's best for you. Not a photographer, but I spent several years working with someone like this. I learned the hard way lol. The main lesson is that no one's shitty attitude is worth you being stressed. If you can't fight the insidious underhandedness in some way, then you need to leave if it's getting to you. That's my personal code that I live by now, and having that "no fucks given" confidence has gotten me a lot farther in my career than being the "nice and polite" one. I'm still super nice & polite - there was a time when I acted more "cold" towards people to assert dominance lol, but I've learned that you can still be hella assertive while being nice & polite. People love you more for that, especially the ones who are struggling to survive in a workplace full of sharks. I don't back down from a fight anymore, and I make sure to show some teeth to the people that need it. Your workplace is only as toxic as the worst behaviour that you allow.
I would have started by telling the bride about that phone call so that she would have nipped this awful behavior in the bud but I know you were trying to be thoughtful and professional. I'm a wedding photographer and I've also had some instances with other professionals and you're right, you lose all common sense and its so hard to stick up for yourself when so much is going on.
Imagine having such low self esteem that you'd put the whole event in jeopardy. Cudos to you for being the professional there.
If Jessica lost her cool and went ape sh**t, the guests would think she's the one kicking up a fuss. This is an industry where your reputation is at steak, you have to think 100 times before speaking or acting. Well done for being assertive and selfless.
Jess... you may not believe this but you did right. And YOU were the professional. I don't understand why some photogs can be such "rectums." I usually include those guests with cameras in a shoot; I let them get their photos, and I even give them advice. Guess what? The wannabe photogs will ASSIST me in posing the subjects. So HE was used for the video... and YOU were chosen as the photog... wow, send him a package of Preparation H!
Calico D'Nikonian some people bring too much pride to the job, they forget to leave most of it at home.
@@IamMediaUK True (goodness, you made such an excellent comment) and that can also be viewed as a personality flaw. Pushy and overly aggressive individuals quickly come to mind. Also, sorry to say, cops and uniformed employees that forget they are public SERVANTS, and must be constantly reminded... so they do not continue to self-authorize and continue to try to strip the public of our rights, freedoms and liberties as guaranteed to each and every one of us by the Supreme Law of the Land: OUR Constitution.
Right? What was that dude's problem? He really couldn't stand to have a female near his photoshoot.
Your first response, when he yelled at you the first time, was PERFECT. Asking your clients what you should do was very professional and just over all the best response possible because you ignored him completly and showed him that the only opinion that matters to you is that of your clients. 💕
He was hoping you would quit, so that he could charge more to tack on photography last minute.
I think you are so right and how unprofessional of him to risk stressing out the client for his own selfish gain. I think at a wedding it should be about the bride and the groom and not about filling pockets. Agreements about how to shoot are made before hand for a reason. For everyone's sake. He fights dirty.
He clearly wanted the photo work too. Why else would you take photos? Then show the client and ask for more money
sounds like they did
soooo keen for a name and shame so that google reviews can be spammed with negative feedback about his attitude
Yep exactly
I wonder how people are rating/reviewing his business... Hmmm...
If I was that bride, I would be so disappointed. Imagine having spent all that money to have one of your vendors maliciously try to sabotage another vendor you're paying huge amounts of money as well to book.
I'm a retired wedding photographer. My advice to avoid these types of scenarios he is to have an official photography clause in your contract. Something that states you and/or your team are the only official photographers on that day. Keep a copy on you during your shoot. Based on your video they weren't sabotaging you, they were stealing from you . This would put a different spin on your private conversation with him. Because at the end of the day ,its the client (Bride) is the one who is being sabotaged.
That's what I was thinking. She said many times he was taking pictures. He should do only video. She shouldn't let him dictate from the beginning. I was surprised the client even asked her to change lens and what not for the videographer. The videographer was there for the client not the other way around.
I was thinking the same thing. They aren't going to pay him for the photos because that's not his job right, it's hers?
For that photographer it was a d*ck measuring competition, I'm guessing he was going to present his photos as better than hers and ask for an extra, putting shade on her and putting her as unnecessary, that's how a narcissist would work
@@palacinkasmarmeladou it’s also weird that the bride let him take pictures idk but I personally wouldn’t let the videographer take photos even if they could just because I wouldn’t know if it would interfere with the photographer I specifically hired for my wedding day.
@@ThymeofGhost I don't think it's that weird, I think she didn't know what was going on. This was so far from the only thing she had to worry about that day, it probably wasn't on her radar. Especially because she hired two teams of professionals and had a very reasonable expectation of professional behavior. I wouldn't have thought about babysitting some old man on a power trip.
I’m a videographer myself and everyone knows on a wedding day, the photographer is the MOST important. We as videographers need to be a fly on the wall and out of the photographers way. They will not frame videos and put them around the house. Sorry that happened to you. They need to check themselves lol
No, both are very important and should always care for each other equally.
Not true buddy
You’re just trying to brown nose the girl in the video
you should mention his name because I wouldn't want all this DRAMA on my wedding day...
Sheila Shimmers I know I need to make sure I didn’t hire them. I want to know.
I would LOVE to know who this guy is too! But I’m sure Jessica would get sued if she named names haha
Agreed! Name and shame.
She could just make second account, and post his name xD. Noone would know it was her. She could just say. Yes i was there amd it was that team.. noone would know it was her :)).
Just hired Jessica and problem solved! She’s a professional and I don’t expect she tell us the name of that gentleman who clearly have some issues. ✌️
He wanted to make sure he had all the photos you “missed”. I bet he offered photos to them. He was for sure pissed he had to share the job.
I think so too
The client should've intervened and defended you, and not allow the videographer treat a person she had chosen and hired that way!
Maybe next time you should be firm and clear about the way you work, and not agree to change your lenses or working style or anything! Because you deserve it, and you should set your conditions too.
Props to you for dealing with the situation with grace! 👏
Daria Khailova i agree, like at the golden hour shoot she talked about, clients could’ve said hey someone go call Jessica, cause she’s the photographer, instead of accepting them taking pictures...
@@byevia_ I understand your point but also, maybe the couple didn't know where lines end/blur etc. I'm not sure they're in the field and may not understand the difference. Also, in the end, you can see she really does say the couple AND their family stood up for her.
@@medioreblatherskite THEY hired Jessica to do the photos, and the other guy to do the video. Surely it should twig that something is weird when the video guy is conducting a photo shoot?
I thought the same thing! I hope the client reads this and feels terrible. Didnt jessica say they were friends?
I agree. I would be furious if someone I hired was acting that way at my wedding.
Some people just need a high-five, in the face, with a chair.
🤣🤣
Or their video camera... hehe
Every time she talked about possibly handling the situation better, I thought about how many of us would have considered throwing a punch by that point.
Nope. They need a hug. Along their neck. With a rope.
So accurate🤣
1. You are a woman
2. You "took" his job.
As a woman photographer in eastern europe, i get this sometimes.
Where i come from, sometimes the clients don't hear me but they hear any other man when he speaks. I have stories....
im sorry that happens. they suck. they don't have a right to treat you that way.
I have experienced this too! I’m a photographer and was doing a commercial shoot where the videographer was male. The model barely acknowledged me / my direction and only took direction from + gave so much energy to the male videographer..
@@shannserrao8690 I know exactly how it is. I had a groom once that would reject all of my propositions for the photo shoot. After running out of ideas(he said no to everything) I asked him: how would you like me to take the pictures? His response: well you are the photographer, you should have ideas.
Oh, and another time. I went to a baptism with what I tought would be some romani people, so I took my husband as "assistant" so I wouldn't get into trouble. Turns out they were not romani but my husband stayed for the event. After everything was over, guests form the event will come and congratulate my husband on a job well done. Let me explain. My husband never touched the equipment, he couldn't even give me the 85mm lens if I asked for it because he doesn't know which one it is. All he did was carry my equipment. That's it. 😅
Maybe? but as a guy, I have had other guys bother me in my work :) you can get people that will just think they are better than everyone. I work with a model, I do most of her photographs but she has been approached by photographers who have tired to convince her to ditch me for them!!!! she put them straight :) apart from the photography, me and her get on well, I involve her with the pictures I take! we share ideas and opinions! have a joke! it's all down to earth. some photographers are like robots who command people about!!
@@Gibson1976uk if you were a woman, they would have succeeded. Trust me. I photograph ballet in my country from 2006. I always photograph the school shows. I am very good at it. One of the best in my country. That does not stop however the teachers always trying to get other photographers involved thinking that they know better. 100% there is a guy that is "replacing" me. 100% of the time teachers come back to me after they see the results from the other "professionals"
This sounds so frustrating. I was thinking from the start of this video that it might be a gender thing. Some men just like humiliating and dominating women unfortunately.
I've only ever had good experiences working with videographers, but I've come across my fair share of moody and aggressive people working at weddings I've shot. It's someone's wedding day - the day they will remember for the rest of their lives. Maintaining a good, happy atmosphere is more important that getting a video shot. If you start to act like this videographer did, you have failed at the most important job you have at someone's wedding.
It's badass you realize that as a man. As silly as it sounds a lot of men, even if they aren't the ones talking down to you, refuse to admit another man can treat a woman like that. They make you feel like you're crazy, you are just over reacting and imagining things.
Well those men better learn right how to behave because it is absolutely not possible to let this things happens. He is gonna find somebody stronger than him someday and gonna regret this.
instaBlaster...
Yes absolutely..I was just about to type that I think this guy was a misogynist b'coz he sure as hell came across as one..I'm so glad someone else thinks the same thing especially you being a guy!..I was literally screaming it out loud in my head...arggh MISOGYNIST right there!..
this makes me think people should put a clause that says if you as photographer are being obstructed from being able to do your job properly, you are not responsible for the photos that are missed. Idk if that would work, but this makes me scared!
Jerica Lowman I have it in my contact but some video teams acting like they really don’t care 🤷♀️ I have the same experience. It was 4 video guys against one female photographer (me). The bride really want one wide shoot with out other vendor in a frame and we ask for 3 minutes with “clean space”, put it in a contact. Only 3 min. They accepted but on ceremony went crazy, ruin this wide frame, tell me horrible things and almost made bride to cry. never get this “war”. We should work in a team to make our clients happy. Love to work with healthy videography 😂 Please be friendly with other vendors and respect clients choose!
Yes, put this in your contract.
that's pretty standard for contracts at this point, especially with cell phones being out all the damn time.
This is 100% in my contract!
The sad part is the bride and groom should have fired him the moment he yelled at you like how can he disrespect in their wedding on front of everyone and if they hired u too why would they work with him ?
I was thinking the same...I'd have told him to leave and required a refund if he ruined my wedding day in that manner!!!
thats unrealistic since it happened on the wedding day and they would still need a videographer
@@TmHudsonArt Exactly!
@Busy Bee Definately !
@@baabaq9126 She said he was also a photographer but they had her for that. If I was the bride I would say if they continue to disrespect my wedding and disrespecting my staff or the rest of the photographers they will be fired. I wouldn't want drama in my wedding just professional civilized people who respect others nomatter how talented they are. But just my thoughts I would hire this young lady to do everything not only for her talent but her professionalism. ❤️
I shot weddings for about 5 or 6 years. When they go bad, it's the WORST!!! Had a brides mom yell at me, in front of the bride/groom (groom and I were friends). I said, "Ok, I'll just go." and I walked away, packing up to leave. Groom stopped me, begged me to stay. The bride talked to her mom, and the mom never even looked at me again. Crazy woman.
Jim Bianchi what did you to the lady ?
Good move, just cos someone is paying you you doesn't mean you have to take crap.
Lol you a g ma guy 😂😂 boss move its true tho they infact need us so if they act like bafoons we have the upper hand to be like no what are they gonna say ? Nothing exactly lol ay props man
As a wedding photographer for almost 30 years, here is some advice to live by: 1. Put in your contract that you are the primary and only photographer. Any people that cause you to defray from your job on that day will be asked to step aside. 2. As primary, any video company shall be considered "second" and take direction from you as to the lead of the day. This isn't to sound like you are bossing him/her around, but rather you are in charge of posing and scouting locations. You will gladly share possible shots with him as he is to share with you (common courtesy). I always set up a shot, take the pic and then ask video if he wants it. If he has an idea, he usually asks and then asks me if I want the shot. Lastly, in this situation, I believe the bride threw you under the bus. By that I mean that this guy knew about you.... maybe she explained something like you were young. She should have stepped in at the point when she saw he was being aggressive. I would have went to the bride and said something like this... "Mary, this video guy is aggressive and making my job impossible. He is breaking the rules of my contract. Either he backs down, or I'm out of here." You have to grow a set of balls my dear. This has been a male dominated industry for years.
As video, I have it in my contract that I am lead ... (It does not excuse the jerk of this dude, and I don't even attempt to take photos while I am doing video.) I have never had a clash with a photographer though. IDK
Perfect response
Agree with most of what you wrote except the part of growing some balls. You don’t need some damn balls to stand your ground. Such a terrible saying.
@@christianjadot4459 so what would you do in an instance that your clients also hired a photographer that states they are primary in their contract?
@@kloiemartin-peterson5459 To answer your question, if I was secondary, I would definitely try and communicate with the primary person before hand. Let him or her know where I will be placing cameras and mics. (I usually have a static wide camera somewhere at the event that is on continuous record.) 99% of the people are really friendly and you have no problem communicating your needs. While working I really don't want anything to do with posed photos, but maybe that's just my style. Only during the ceremony is the only time it really gets hard.
I do photojournalism for a living full time and video work on the side. I know both ends of the spectrum fairly well. I can tell you a photographer is in a cinematographer's shot a lot more than vice versa. It really is just the nature of the beast. It happens for 3 simple reasons: 1) you are recording a lot longer than a photographer, more time for people to go in and out of frame. 2) You have to hold your shots longer, once you set down you are static for longer periods of time. While a photographer can move around. 3) You can't crop nearly as well in video. (You can often crop unnecessary things out that take away from the picture in photography.)
I am not a super high end gig like the company described in the video, so it is usually just myself and one other person.
He was mad that he didn’t get the photography job. Money, money, money.
And, add in ego too.
@@KimberlyLetsGo Also add in a bit of sexism on the top.
It’s so funny, in a rich man’s world
What a prime example of "toxic masculinity". It's frustrating dealing with that kind of energy especially in a professional environment. I'm sorry you had to deal with people like that but i'm glad you stood up for yourself when he spoke to you again. Go YOU!!!!
Nice to see that a man is talking about this 'toxic masculinity' issue unlike other men.
Yes, GO YOU Jessica! That is definitely a toxic individual. Do not blame yourself or justify his horrible behaviour! It must have been awful being there but you were so professional and assertive so you should be really proud of yourself. I’ve been through something similar and it was the most awful experience and I actually had nightmares after. You could not have done a better job and been more professional there. So big kudos! These individuals are toxic, manipulative, and insecure and will do this to everyone, so don’t take it personally. They pulled all the classic manipulative moves, like triangulating by being nice to your second shooter and mean to you. Let’s hope you never have to meet or work with anyone like that ever again.
Women sabotage other women too. I wouldn't blame it on gender.
Ive had women photographers act this way. Its about the ego that some creatives have on a set or event. I don't appreciate people getting in my way in a disrespectful manner. Those people I put them in their place right away.
It also makes me mad no one else said anything, if I was the bride or bridesmaid and saw that I’d be pissed and would’ve told him off cause he was clearly screwing things up
Mireya id have fired him if I were the bride. No sorry, we don’t want your video. Take your paycheck and leave my wedding immediately, thanks.
Wow kayla, you'd still give a paycheck after dismissing the videographer for their behavior? I'd let them know the deal would also be off on account of their behavior and if they didn't like it, they would be speaking with my attorney.
@@Krisstofers Sadly most of the time you have to sign a contract so that is not always at easy.
@@Krisstofers they package was most likely completely paid for.
@@Cyhcg5uhgb I know there are contracts that they will provide. However, as a client I would add a provision in writing on the document that any behavior deemed by the client to be of malice or negativity towards any guest or another vendor will null this agreement in its entirety. "
My uncle got remarried years after my aunt passed away, and he asked me to photograph his wedding. One of their friends brought a camera/flash with him to the wedding and he was up my butt the whole day! He was crawling on the floor in front of me, would stand right next to me as I was shooting, trying to get the same photo, and ruined some because his flash was popping off at the same time as mine. My second shooter/friend talked to him a couple of different times asking him not to do that, or at least not shoot as we were. But he just laughed and kept doing it. I 100% think it's because I was younger and a woman. Flash forward a couple years later and my uncles stepdaughter was getting married. They asked us to photograph and he was there! He tried doing it again and I was like uh uh! You don't get to do this twice. So, when he would try and get in my way I would walk directly in front of him and plant my feet down and get the shot I needed/wanted. I'm generally not an assertive person, so it was my passive aggressive way of doing it lol. He got the hint and finally quit doing it during the reception.
It totally sounds like this guy was salty AF because he wasn't hired as the photographer. Kudos to you for handling it the way you did! Probably the most professional way you could've done it, and he came out looking like a jerk (because he was lol).
Girl , my blood pressure is UP!! I REFUSE to take wedding photos now because of how many awful experiences I had . Ughhhhh , so happy you were able to stay as a true professional , but I low key wanna know who this guy is just so I can leave him a horrible yelp rating
You think that's bad? TRY working a wedding, and have guests or the bride's family members trying to give you orders and directions! That's why I tell the person who contracts me that I do not take orders from guests or family members and to inform them before I have to... I include that in the contract.
@its electrik We're posting bad experiences; not all experiences are bad. I've had some very rewarding wedding experiences, far more good ones than bad ones... believe that. Oftentimes you'll find a few "rectums" who'll take it upon themselves to try to tell you what to do, or start ordering you around but if you speak with whoever hired you, that can be straightened out quickly. I opt for diplomacy, and go about ignoring the anuses.
I've done ~535 weddings in the past 20 years, and I've had 2 or 3 bridezillas and 2 or 3 momzillas. But it's the videographers more than anyone that raise my blood pressure. Half of them have been fine and will work with me to insure the client is happy. The other half think the damned wedding is supposed to be a big Hollywood production with THEIR name in lights up on the marquee. Ugh. 'Glad you survived that jerk.
I have been on film and commercial shoots, the actors were fine, the director was fine. The biggest divas, the focus puller and the wardrobe Lady.
I honestly have nothing good to say about videographers
Lol @ Hollywood production 😂 that is legit what it sounds like…that man had an entourage, drones and cranes. I’m surprised he wasn’t yelling “action” and “cut” lol
This is how jealousy and sexism combined can turn someone into a disgusting human being. I’m sorry you had to go through that. You’re so brave and professional and I hate that you had to deal with that alone.
You weren't both working for the same goal though.
You were working to give your client a good experience and capture memories for her,
and the other guy was working to service his old bitter ego.
This guy sounds like he's only professional at being PETTY and his team! Good job at staying strong and finishing the shoot. Also I really think he did feel threatened by you since you're young and a women.
yeah that is what i was thinking, he might be threatened. hahahah
That was my first idea - he wanted the photographer job for his company. It’s disgusting, that he didn’t care for his clients’ best interests, but acted out like a freaky ego maniac.
23:50 "Do you think it was because you were the only female on the creative team?"
I was thinking this the moment you talked about the first phone call and he was dismissive of your imploring about the permit and the garden. And then once you confirmed you had a second shooter, who was a guy, and his experience was completely fine, I felt pretty resolute that it just boiled down to you being a woman.
That honestly sucks. I'm sorry you went through that and I give you ALL the kudos for maintaining professionalism throughout that nightmarish ordeal. It shows your true character and why people love to work with you.
5my9other93half telling her what she can’t an can do!! Also giving the other guy a card like trying to steal him 😩😔
These types of men make me feel ashamed of my gender :( I'm sorry u have to deal with those kinds of people
@@colucci5218 yes, they were trying g to steal him. I don't think it was primarily a gender so much as professional sabotage.
I was literally wondering "so were you the only girl...?" because the ENTIRE video I was getting flashbacks to my incredibly, ridiculously, viciously, horribly misogynistic boss who sabotaged me constantly!! I really believe it's because you're a girl and he's a bullying narcissist and I think that's all there is to it.
Thank you for this video, I also kept playing scenes from that job over in my head over and over and wondering what I did wrong, so it's actually a huge relief to know I'm not the only one... thank you 🙏💖
My ex-boss's reputation in the industry is trash, too. Word gets around when you're a world-class jerk.
I’m so glad your friends confronted the videographer afterwards! If it was my wedding and I saw my videographer treat my friend that way, he would be fired on the spot. I could never be comfortable or complacent with anyone who acts like that 😤
He most likely lied. He didn’t have any permits. He just mentioned it to come off as “entitled” but when pushed, he couldn’t produce what the clients wanted. I just don’t understand ppl that feel they have to run the show w/out considering anyone else 😳
Now everything makes sense
please give us his name. Need to save us all
Derek Livingston she know we will destroy him 😂
We want the name!!!! Lmao
yes, what is his name?
YES!!!! I want to see how "incredible" his work is!
@RBCorsiva I just want to see his works, because its terrible experience and what he ad his team did during work day
Some men hate women. It's disgusting😣
Keep shining, Jessica 🤗🤗🤗
Why didnt your clients tell him that he was ruining their wedding photos?
Exactly, and this was her friend? I know on the day she has other things on her mind, but still, there were red flags before this!
@@a-shadow-in-the-soul I'm guessing she didn't tell them what's going on as to not ruin the I special day and to stay professional
When it’s your wedding day you aren’t paying attention to that stuff. You’re thinking about saying hello and thank you to every guest. You’re thinking about your first dance and your wedding party. You hire professionals to do their job so you don’t have to think about it.
Sounds like you threatened him. He probably couldn’t understand why he wasn’t hired for everything. He’s nothing but a Bully! Good for you standing your ground! You were very professional!
How the hell does someone so unprofessional even keep getting jobs?
Honestly, I kept asking myself the same thing. And I still ask myself that.
@@JessicaKobeissi I'm a DV/Trauma Survivor and my Abusers keep getting jobs. Why? Because they work like a charm with their charm on people 🙃 They pretend to be so lovely to others, but behind the scenes are such nasty people.
@@JessicaKobeissi Thank you so much for sharing so other photographers can be aware that these situations really do happen. (PS you inspire me so much)
@@ElizabethCarterMedia In true narcissistic form.
Bullies like this tend to care a LOT about their image and know who to suck up to. But the industry is small no matter where you are and their true selves tend to catch up with them eventually.
I was getting so incredibly heated watching this video. My blood was absolutely boiling for you. Jessica, I'm so sorry you had this experience! You are amazing and thank you for sharing this with the rest of us!
You should tell us which company he works for to make sure nobody else hires his services
She will get a claim i think if she does that
BoneThugsNL Most likely yes, I wish there was a way for her to give us a hint without getting compromised
The clients could though 🤔
Maybe he got seriously ill
Not going to happen, unfortunately.
I’m guessing he heard you were a “friend” and assumed that you weren’t a real photographer.
As soon as he starts taking photos instead of video, that should’ve been your que to take charge and be like “nope!”
But honestly, this has to be worked out before the wedding day. That call about his demands were the warning sign, and his attempt to demand that he gets priority.
my face got hot just listening to this story, i can't imagine having to endure that
I hope you never use that second shooter again I never could imagine a gentleman allowing anything to happen without paying attention to the person who brought him to the party
I don't agree with this, the second shooter was there to work as well, so I think it's completely understandable if he didn't notice it until she told him. And I would guess the second shooter is someone that she chose to have there, so I would advice to at least respect him and not say such a unnecessary thing. I'm disappointed at the people who have liked this comment tbh...
Yerik Evenou I’m not sure what situation you’re referring to however if someone hired me to assist him during the shoot and something was going down that made that person very upset I will be very aware. I’m not an ignorant person I like to know everything is going on especially in my surroundings.
By the way what photographer worth their salt is not aware of what’s going on in this situation. If the Bride was upset I will be there too it doesn’t matter
Why has him taking pictures in the first place If he was hired to do VIDEO. uuuuuuuughhhh
Christian Sánchez right? Why wasn’t this mentioned?
Because he wanted the shots to shoe the client. Then if they liked he could charge a extra fee. He wanted the whole job that was clear.
@@waynosfotos then the bride and groom are pretty stupid to let this happen
@@merricat3025 a wedding is a super busy, stressful time. Some things wouldn’t raise flags. Be kind
@@breedlejuice8691 she mentioned that they were visibly kinda freaked out when he got verbally aggressive with Jessica. It seems like the couple could’ve said something then.
when talking about what you could've said or done, i think the lesson here is that you were learning to be more assertive in the moment. definitely don't beat yourself up about it, he's not worth it! but next time you have a difficult person, stay in the moment and stand up firmly and calmly for yourself. i know this was some time ago but yeah, that's the take away from it. i still have to practice staying in the moment and standing up for myself, its hard to do sometimes, but so worth it. people will try to take a piece of you - don't let them!
I don't know why but the way she speaks and tells the story, you can tell that she went through a lot in her life
So emotional I can't-
This was the craziest blood boiling story I’ve ever heard. That guy was a complete---- but I agree professionalism is best. Unfortunately, I started shooting small weddings, but issues similar to yours has turned me away from shooting weddings any longer.
This guy has a date with Karma, he’s going to have a client matching his attitude and will be taught a serious lesson.
I hate when it happens, taking photos and not missing a moment is already stressful enough on a wedding but then when you have to also defend yourself and fight to get the photos you want it’s a nightmare.
I think they buddied up with your second shooter so that if you complained about the situation it would look like you were making it up, like you were the only one who saw that happening. Evil.
Yep, I've experienced this three times too. I found out later, that all of them video teams I encountered in such ways were basically angry at the loss of photo packages they could have sold, so they tried to stifle my images. Similar to you, twice they did the same by shootinmg photos anyway, without me being aware that easily, so they could show their "better" phots in comparison to mine and upsell. Also, give me a automatic bad rep of incompetence, hoping the bride/grrom wont recommend me further.
I've heard this hapoen to other togs too. Not all 'artists' are artists.
It sucks that this kind of behaviour is this common... It shows that those people are only there for the paycheck and become spoiled kids when they don't get what they want. I believe there has to be more positive things from becoming friends and helping other creatives than trying to "crush" them down. I feel sorry you had to go through all that bs
I'm sorry that you had to go through all that. Ignore people like him. They don't even deserve your Attention.
This... Is... INFURIATING. He was acting like a badly-socialised five-year-old boy worried that his toy would get stolen!!! And like a classic low-confidence bully, he did it in places that were harder for other people to witness. I'm so sorry this happened to you, I was physically fizzing up as you told this story 😠 Like you said, thankfully professionalism wins - all the ladies, especially, who saw how he treated you will avoid him like the plague when the time comes for their own weddings
why am i just realising u shot pewdiepie and marzia's wedding photography LMAOOO - i distinctly remember the initial shock to how phenomenal the pictures were, no wonder i enjoy ur content haha
OH MY GOD!!! Wow! WOW! Wow!
Whaaaaat???! Awwwww that makes my heart happy!!! I loved the photos of Pewds and Marzia 🥰
You’re competition to him, he tried to steal your staff and take you down. He might have done the same thing if you were a guy. You said all the right things. Sounds like he has money, he will find out that will not save him if he gets a bad rep.
Yup. I feel for you. I no longer do wedding videography but have heard similar stories of photographers being treated horribly by some of the bigger wedding videography companies that only get asked to do the video. Insanely selfish. Listening to your story brought back some of those old memories. You did a professional job. Well done.
It’s a good thing you’re saying this because if it was me in that situation, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my cool. But the most important lesson out of this video is to maintain your professionalism. And that’s what I will always remember going forward now.
If i was charging, i would of gone to the client said this guy is compromising my ability to get the best shots. If i don't get shot time i outa here. Your choice. Basically why should you have to put up with sh!t just for a wedding
Your to kind! To agreeable that’s the perfect way for people to treat you badly.
I can't stand selfish people like that. Kudos to you. Much love and respect for you. Stand firm. If I ever met that guy I'd give him a piece of my mind. Don't ever disrespect like that. Don't know you personally but I got you. 🤙🌹 (hugs)
at the end of the day, you shot photos for the most watched wedding on youtube and where is he now huh?
What wedding is that lol?
@@alexisrose4221 Pewdiepie and Marzia's I think
It's not pewds she's talking about, she says this story took place 5 years ago lol
Diana Herrera no, he is talking about Jessica’s success years later.
nothing about the story but your make up aesthetics are everything
I literally just scrolled to see if there's any mention of what lipstick she's wearing lol
Facts
From my one photography class I can tell you that the MAIN LENSE a normal photographer uses is a 35mm. WHY would he say you can’t use a NORMAL lense?
A photographer trying to sabotage you?
People are messed up man
That sounds so stressful. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t stand when people put you in a situation where they act childish but if you do anything it makes you look like the bad guy.
This story gave me so much second hand anxiety 😬. Good for you for rising above it and thank you for sharing!
I would have pulled out the 35 mm and said eff it!
Me: Great minds think alike! So a gun right?
jk jk xDDD (idek if that exists)
And forreal why tf does he decide what she can and can't use? eff it!
@@princessalia6 I chuckled a little...then was like...is 35mm a gun too? If so, my husband should be super scared every time I say, hold on while I grab my 35 when mad!
A 35mm isn't exactly a gun, it's more often an autocannon, an anti-aircraft gun, Twin cannon, Light artillery.
Amber Kendle I woulda pulled out the 9 milly & said eff it lmfaooo my anger issues could never. I long to have her patience
Exactly, she should not have changed her norm because HE said so. I hope she used her normal lense
Girl no. Like I’m so proud of you! Don’t even worry about what you could have said. You were so kind and brave and professional and strong and I can only hope I would have reacted that way. I’m afraid I would have yelled back while crying and ruined my whole freaking career over one stupid man. You did so good Jessica. You’re a Queen. Thank you so much for sharing. ♥️
And this is why I don’t take up weddings. I rather just have my own models and clients like family shoots. I stop doing big events cause there was always a problem with the other person. Smh being a female photographer in a man world sometimes can be hard. I’m glad you held it down. There were many times I had to walk away and hold myself. Cause I’m not about to do some drama in front of my clients and then ruin all I work for. Cause someone wants to be the only photographer.
hearing this alone was getting me choked up. I use to do weddings as someone's second shooter for videography and my experiences were mainly intrusive, competitive, diva/catty photographers. There was a time where i was walking weddings back to back and i was sooo sensitive to the photographers/videographers behavior. One wedding, no groomsmen- just a maid of honor and me as the bridesmaid, the photographer kept referring to us as random numbers or "girl" and never wanted pictures of us with the bride. Especially me, being that the MOH was her sister, so when i asked him politely if he could take some- he threw the biggest fit. Even sabotaged the videographer during the first dance just like this guy mentioned. As a videographer, at the time, it annoyed me to see that- only to find out they were a TEAM. even sillier of him. some people in the field are just shameless to their colleagues and clients.
Good job on keeping your cool, being professional and patient still with this. This guy seems awful and that’s very unprofessional of him and his crew.
Finding a balance between creativity and dealing with a bully is quite a lot. Well done to you for being patient and professonal!
he's not worth the title photographer.
you go girl!
amazing how you still had put ur clients in first place, must have been an awefull day -_-.
And omg that last few 5 mins, you so right
Your so mature and strong, you should be so proud of yourself for handling this situation so well
Some older men really are stuck in their ways & don't think women can do things just as good as them or better. I've heard people talking & all I could think is you have to be stupid to even think like that.
@Katie Saarikko Never happened to me but my little cousin who is also a photographer told me that at his last gig some guy was telling him he need to get better strobe lights & that the one's he have are cheap & he should of shopped at B&H. Whoever it was must not have known as much as he was pretending to know because my cousin has the Flashpoint XPLOR 600 which is the same thing as the Godox AD600 that they sell at B&H.
@Katie Saarikko When a man does that to you do it right back to him. That's how man behave with one another. Question his ability as though he's incompetent, in a very professional voice. He'll STFU fast!
Probably a combination of factors but it sounds like some classic misogynistic man-child behavior to me. Glad you managed to weather the storm.
As a wedding videographer, it’s sad to hear that. I’ve heard this many times and I can’t believe it. I haven’t gone through this yet and I hope I never do. You handled it very well.
You're such a sweet person and you have such a warm soul. That guy is a *********!!!!!! I've had my share as well. I shot weddings for about 8 years on my own, and also did video. Most weddings were really fun but there were a handful where people like this guy were around and some were in the bridal party. I really need to do a few videos like what you just did Jessica...it will help people out to know it's not an easy job. Your story is just one reason I got out of weddings awhile ago. The toxic and stress was ruining the creative fun with the people at the wedding. Many more reasons as well.
No one should be mean to Jessica. Period!!!
this story had me boiling in all kinds of ways!! Your patience, tolerance and professionalism are incredible!!! side note: if im present in an environment where one professional decides to not act in such way and yell at anyone else, I would stop that at the core... Question: did you ever followed up with that individual? did you confront him??
Sounds like they were trying to cultivate/poach your second shooter. Anyway, that sounds like a miserable experience, that you handled amazingly well. He's lucky he didn't get a 35mm lens down his throat.
I passed for many experiences like this.. MANY.... I touched my heart today coz when you encounter that many of those psico demons... Your heart ends up drained to the core and you feel like doing nothing... Not even my RUclips channel But you didn't stop there and then you continued... Such a warrior... Keep on creating 🤯❤️💎🙌
thanks for sharing! I went through a similar situation but in this case, I was the videographer and another guy and his assistant were taking the photos. And where suppose to organise food, dogs for the shoot and transport. The first day we had no food at all and he claimed that he couldn't find any dog to hire, which I then went home to fix in 2 hours lol.
Anyway, it started out by him asking me questions like "did you ever work with a team before", "can I see your portfolio" etc. and I'm like dude, I'm already hired and it's not your job to check my background.
Once we arrived at set the first day his assistant was very rude to me the entire time, but of course super friendly with all others (especially the client). They told me I was in the way all the time and I had like five minutes here and there to try to capture something and out of this, the client was expecting FIVE small commercials. I had written a script including locations weeks before, that everyone had read, and when I asked if we could go to some of the locations where we had agreed on doing the video shoot the photographer told me that we didn't have enough time and drove to the locations he wanted to shoot at instead.
His assistant on purpose walked into every single frame while I was shooting, can you imagine how it was to edit that afterwards... Both of them were also much older but yet so insecure. The third day I took a break just to cry and took a step back since the clients didn't intervene either (even though I told them about the problem the first evening). In the end, they were very pleased with the commercials even though I almost didn't have enough footage and his photographs (that the assistant was checking while shooting them) looked so so. Never doing that again.
That photographer sounds extremely unprofessional. Good for you for handling it so well
Can you show us some pictures from the wedding? I'm interested how your pictures are looking under this circumstances. (I guess they are perfect and beautiful no matter what happened :).)
I am so sad to hear that you had to experience such a thing. You handled the situation very well and professionally - dont think i could have!
I'm a male photographer and I have had to deal with several videographers like this, he was pissed that you took a bite out of his photo/video package and he wanted the end result to be a big "Ha told you so" to the bride and groom by sabotaging your shoot.
You should put the videographer service/ company on blast a little bit. If people knew there were these kinds of people out in the industry they wouldn’t hire them. Especially with the wedding day you guys should be working together. It doesn’t only affect your business but the wedding photos and environment as well. That had nothing to do with you and everything to do with his ego... that’s really hard to have to work with those kinds of people in general. Good for you standing your ground at the end! Those are the types of things that need to be known. It’s not about ruining his business but for people who come after you in this industry too. The more people stay quiet about these things people will never know what actually goes on behind the scenes.
Omg... I hardly comment... But you were insanely professional... I'm not sure I could have kept it together if someone did this to me... This isn't just sabotage its just being plain wicked for absolutely no reason and the video team is no different... A thousand salutes to you honestly!
Man, I feel for you, Jessica. The video team were a bunch of jerks. I was shocked and appalled when you mentioned being female as a possible reason for their ill-mannered attitude.
I only had 3 clients just portrait shoots and IT WAS STRESSFUL. every time the clients texted me my heart dropped 😂
Dina Galal it gets easier with time 😂 good job getting 3 clients keep it up!!! 🙏🏼👍🏼
@@Jay_kun777 Thank you so much!
I always feel a bit nervous with camera jobs :) you never know who's going to be about and 9/10 it all goes fine, you will get someone bother you at some point :) I like my free time in the middle of nowhere! countryside etc. taking landscape stuff just for fun
That videographer would have mysteriously disappeared sometime that day.
The photos are what will be looked at more than that video.
If this ever happened to me I wouldve told the client that he shouldn't be taking photos because it's in our contract that my team is the only photographers.
But if he was talking to me like that I would've took him in another room and we would've had a quick "chat"
Chat with my left and right fist
Sorry about the terrible experience and thanks for sharing as it will help others avoid such a situation. I can also totally relate to not knowing what to say or do in the moment. Once he said no 35mm and no simultaneous shooting, I would have backed out of the arrangement, because I will be worried about missing good candids while waiting turns. It was obvious that we would have gotten in each others way.
I had a really bad experience similar to this. I was young and still fairly new at weddings and the bride's sister "surprised" her by hiring another photographer. I didn't know until I showed up. He wasn't nearly as nasty as your guy, but he was doing similar things like setting up whole photo shoots with them the second I had my back turned, I ended up giving up towards the end and it was 6 more years before I took on another wedding. I still love photography but I only do it these days for me or as personal favors for friends/family.
I know people like this. They always have a chip on their shoulder because they are paranoid about other people for some reason they imagined in their head. they make you the enemy when they are the one who is acting like an enemy. they talk to everyone else and manipulate others into not liking you. Sometimes, if you get funny vibes from people, even if it's a job, just don't take it. I have refused certain situations just because I had a bad feeling about it and I'm usually right. While your client is important, so is your mental state. And I think they purposely were nice to your second shooter because that's team splitting. It's a tactic I've seen before. He wanted your second shooter to invalidate your experiences, act like you crazy, and turn against you. From what I see in your story, he has turned other people against you. I know people who are sooooo nice to everyone but me and then when you say "oh he's mean to me", they are like you're wrong and starting trouble. Luckily, that didn't happen with you with your second shooter but I do believe he manipulated others to try and go against you.
Wowww that man is surely insecure, having all those gears that he had and muscled his way to the couple is just a pure sign of insecurity.
exactlyyy what i thought. Having all the latest gears and the way he acted and spoke said a lotttt
I am a female early 30s photographer who has been shooting weddings for 8ish years in southern/midwestern USA. I've had so many male videographers (not to target guys but they are usually male) walk all over me during the wedding day as though my shots and thoughts were clearly second to theirs. Though I always operate by the assumption of helping each other out rather than competing for the bride and groom's time so I bend over backward to accommodate the videographer to be "nice". This video made me so mad for you Jessica! You are a phenomenal lady and I would be scared to be that videographer if he were confronted by all your supporters who watched this video. Thank you for sharing your story so I know it's not just me
Jessica your channel is very diverse and that's really great! Always a great source of inspiration for everyone. Love from Argentina ✨🖤
when you said you froze and cried in the bathroom - thank you! im defensive too but not in formal/ public situations where i can ruin a mood. thank you for being real and totally relatable!!! I would have mentioned your initial convo with him to the bride and groom though... if you get bad vibes they are 99% right.... but you were the bigger person. Love your content!!
Damn, that videography team sound like they're a bunch of mysogynists especially that head of the team.
I wish you 10x more success and more than that unprofessional guy. I hope he knows your name and can see where you are now as a photographer.
Absolutely No one:
Jessica: “I’m so good at Mario Kart... you don’t even wanna go there” 😂
I just wanna put this out there ... addressing these issues directly and/or with your client is an act of client care. Allowing problematic people to interfere with someones special day like that can be really bad, and you're not only hurting yourself by allowing them to do that but you can also hurt the client.
As far as I'm concerned, if someone is interfering with your job, then your client isn't receiving the service that they paid you for. I do think it's acceptable to push back on people like this. But everyone is different so at the end of the day do what's best for you.
Not a photographer, but I spent several years working with someone like this. I learned the hard way lol. The main lesson is that no one's shitty attitude is worth you being stressed. If you can't fight the insidious underhandedness in some way, then you need to leave if it's getting to you. That's my personal code that I live by now, and having that "no fucks given" confidence has gotten me a lot farther in my career than being the "nice and polite" one. I'm still super nice & polite - there was a time when I acted more "cold" towards people to assert dominance lol, but I've learned that you can still be hella assertive while being nice & polite. People love you more for that, especially the ones who are struggling to survive in a workplace full of sharks.
I don't back down from a fight anymore, and I make sure to show some teeth to the people that need it.
Your workplace is only as toxic as the worst behaviour that you allow.
Thank you for talking about this! Clients definitely need to be aware of these situations.
I would have started by telling the bride about that phone call so that she would have nipped this awful behavior in the bud but I know you were trying to be thoughtful and professional. I'm a wedding photographer and I've also had some instances with other professionals and you're right, you lose all common sense and its so hard to stick up for yourself when so much is going on.