wait I just wanna know why was a photo of THEE Barrack and Micelle Obama was included at the beginning of this video lmao. They are nowhere near baby mama culture lol
Ppl don’t want to get married cuz it cost money and they don’t wanna commit yet they can afford and commit to raising a human for at least 18 years make that make sense.
it's the men that don't wanna marry because they feel that gives women access to their money but they'd rather make women pregnant because at the end of the day, they can and do walk away and it's the woman's both money and emotional labor raising that kid not them. They just cruises ship the nice times and get to use the pregnancy and child as control because the women are vulnerable then
Literally like how do these people not see that children are forever? At least divorce is an option with marriage, but sharing a child with someone means you're tied to someone for life.
I'll be the one to say they don't deserve a baby if they aren't ready for marriage. They just simply aren't mature, emotionally intelligent adults. It's delusional teenager behaviour.
that baby will have a lifetime of trauma to deal with later on, I've noticed children who grew up with both stable and loving parents usually grow up to be loving and stable parents themselves and vice versa its just a vicious cycle and I don't want to dump all of that trauma on an innocent child ! they really do need both parents present to grow up to be a healthy human being.
“But weddings are costly” and then they go an plan gender reveals and baby showers with ton of decorations and guests. Be fr, just go to the courthouse or a chapel and call it day. It was never that hard 🤷🏽♀️
Not only that, they say "weddings are costly" as if throwing a big wedding is an obligation. You can just go down to the court and then throw a BBQ in your backyard 🙄. I got married at the court with rings from Amazon. January will be our 10th year anniversary. People be focusing on the wrong thing.
My parents have been married since before I was born (1st child) then renewed their vows a few years ago and threw a big wedding reception so there’s always an option to do it small now and big in the future. Rings can always be upgraded. None of these people can use the “weddings are expensive” excuse with me because the big reception is just a luxury not mandatory. Just like y’all said go to the courthouse. Some people opt out of the big reception and dedicate that money towards a greater honeymoon experience.
I don't have a baby of my own and I'll never allow this to happen to me. Why bring another life into the world to gain fame or stuff from the father? It's gross and degrading. The dad can go off with who he pleases and gets other women pregnant for what?! Nothing about this culture is cute nor beautiful. I feel more sorry for the child that's gonna grow up to see this and therefore either copy or become what their parents have done.
In jamaica the term is only used rarely, I don't know why Americans call everyone a baby mama even when they married, it was mich better when it was only used when necessary, the word is used way out of proportion
I only have one question: why is no one using contraception if pregnancy is not their goal? (EDIT: **IF YOU DONT LIKE THE PILL, RUBBER UP! ALSO I NEVER SPECIFIED GENDER STOP ACTING LIKE IM BLAMING THE WOMAN**)
@@AngryBlush I didn't think of that, but it could be a reason. Where I'm from the gov even gives us condoms for free in big crates spread through subway stations and we have big incentive to use, so it shocked me seeing so many unplanned pregnancies among famous people
Honestly that's my only question. I know T. Swift, Zendaya, Sabrina C. are out here spreading them legs. How do these women not have access to the same BC
I will always keep saying this. Black women need to understand they deserve better. Many have been brainwashed into thinking the ring is unnecessary but popping out kids for a man that already has other baby mamas and still think “I’m the one. He gon change with me”. Ladies, STAND UP.
@@gabrielasosa9146 a lot of divorced/separate household women have talked about this, and a lot of sociological research has been done. Basically, even most “good” men create extra work for women. 7-12 hours per week. Without the man, the woman just minds her own business and her kid’s business without trying to “help” the man help her…it lessens the emotional load and pressure and that’s why newly single moms rave about how nice it is to be single moms without all the dead weight ☺️
I’m kinda tired of celebrities promoting being a “strong single mom” instead of being smart in the dating pool and actually finding a decent man to have a child with because that shit is very different for regular women. Also, not saying they’re not good moms but they also have damn nannies and maids and cooks like don’t act all woe is me and like it’s as hard for y’all as it is for non celebrity women 😂😂
You can be smart and the person be wearing a mask the whole relationship… not everyone is with someone who is blatantly dogging them… 9/10 someone is wearing a mask or people just fall out of love… it is what it is
What decent men??? 9 times out of ten all of you women who talk about finding a man. Don’t even have men. And also complain about men. Give me a break!
@@NkirukasWrldtrue,generational trauma When youre raised in house when someone hurts you and than tell you that they do that because they love you, you seek love in adult life, but the ides of it that was passed on you is hurtful
being a BM is very degrading, a man making me have his kid without any security is an incredibly awful position to be in. Being married and choosing the man I want to father my babies is a CHOICE I owe my kids, yall are empowering bum dudes
Exactly! Then the same people cry about the bums....what did they think men would do when you don't hold them to any standards? And unfortunately most bw only require a man to be blk and work part time. There is zero incentive for these dudes to marry and create families.
When my friend got pregnant. I could tell she was feeling a bit ashamed about which .. he was already abusing and cheating on her after serval abortions. She bragged about how much everything cost for the gender reveal that was awkward because the guy clearly is just there to be there. One of those guys who walks away when the gender isn’t what he wanted .. anyway .. I asked her, why don’t yall just get married or engaged if you feel uncomfortable walking around with this big ole belly labor of love with no love on your finger. And the look of resentment towards me like I was the one who knocked her up. But, fr. These men know it’s a bad look for you to be walking around belly all swoll with no ring on. They know that looks goofy and they don’t careeeee .. lol like they don’t care that your feet swollen, emotions high and you out here looking like a low class citizen breed3r type .. lmao they know. And they don’t care 😂 carrying for someone who literally don’t care about your public reputation is wild hahaha .. but why would they care .. these girls don’t take their own reputation and future seriously .. And another thing. They tend to think “oh well I got money” .. I hated my parents for years because they weren’t married and created a bunch of kids all over the place. I looked down on them. You’re supposed to look up to your parents. But, why would anyone want to do that when you just do anything basically. Even that child can grow to resent and not respect you for that decision.
yes yes yes!!!!! some people are pressure others on having kids without taking into account if those people are actually ready for it in every possible way even if they're married, given today's age i can see why some people prefer to have pets rather than kids (what i said beforehand can also apply to pets but yeah)
Lies. My parent were neither financially or mentally ready but they still gave me life that I am grateful for. Imagine if everyone folwed that the polulation we would go extinct
@@theceech 20k for the first 5 years of their life maybe. a marriage license is 100 dollars. giving birth WITH insurance is already twenty or thirty times that
Uhm yes? Marriage has nothing to do with raising a child, like a women is more then enough to raise a child financially and mentally, y’all act like if she’s not married then she’s broke and not raising the child correctly
incredibly disappointing that Skai CHOSE to be with a thug and then created life with him...its so irresponsible in so many ways. i just hope that they both clean up their act and get serious for this child. i just cant wrap my head around someone in Skai's position, with immense privilege, fame, and money, deliberately choosing to be with a criminal who in all honesty seems likes he hates her. like what do u meaaaaan he was insulting her on his social media?! this world is insane! protect ur womb ladies!!
Yeah, Halle Bailey for example. She had a GOLDEN opportunity, and was being put on the fast track to IT girl status. She had Disney backing her, and major celebrities coming to her defense. She allowed herself to get pregnant by DDG, and her career hasn’t been the same. Now she’s getting side-character roles, when in a couple years, she could’ve had a couple A-list films under her belt. She could’ve been on zendayas level in a couple years if she was smart.
She can still come back x2 look at Emma Stone, I bet most people don’t even know she has a child, and Scarlett Johansson as well, there’s plenty of successful actresses that have children
The difference is timing. Scarlett Johansson stared in multiple blockbuster films that crossed at least 400 mill. Halle hasn’t reached that level yet. Al the white women actresses wait until they’re MARRIED and established. Halle was neither of those when she got pregnant. It’s about timing, she had the baby too early.
@@lealsofi those women value their privacy and don’t blast their private life on the Internet. I dare you to try to find information about Emma Stone. She intentionally keeps quiet.
People shift more blame on women because we can’t “walk away” from parenthood the way that men can and often do. The responsibility of parenthood inherently weighs more on women because we carry and deliver the baby. While it does take 2 tango, the difference in what each person has to do to bring a child into the world is vast. At the end of the day, we as women are putting our life and baby’s life on the line, we should be cautious with who we choose to procreate with
I can kind of agree. However,though women are the ones who can't "walk away" from parenthood,necessarily. Responsibility still falls on both parties for the child's existence. Even if one party or both parties don't end up caring for the child,they still have to make sure there is a stable environment for the child's growth. Whether they are directly apart of it or not. Now,of course,women should be careful of who they have children with, b/c there is life and health on the line for the mother and child. But when it comes to choosing to have a child,both people have to face responsibility sooner or later for its birth and safety.
What are the best methods of caution? Do you think schools in communities with high out-of-wedlock births should start implementing more abstinence only messaging? I think that’s a good start.
@@LoneWulf278that’s a horrible start. Places with the most abstinence messaging tend to have the highest teen/ out of wedlock pregnancies. You should always teach safe protected sex.
I genuinely hate the word baby mama. That’s a mother of a child, a child who deserves to have a stable and secure upbringing, who deserves to know to sustainable and healthy relationships look like, it’s so irresponsible to bring a human person into this world to figure out on their own what to do, because you refused to. That applies to baby daddies too, keep your “things” in your pants until you practice intimacy responsibly
I do to especially when they keep having kids by the person and he or she isn’t taking care of the previous kids…like how dumb can u be lol 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
the idea that marriage is costly, deeming it 'not worth it' is weird to me---in the context of having kids with no ring. a ring and wedding aren't mandatory for marriage and would be one-time purchases. a baby is a recurring expense---one that people have to pay for 18 (sometimes more) years.
Yes. You can get married for a very inexpensive price at town halls, court houses, and government buildings. The rings can always be purchased in the future. There's silcone rings that can be purchased for an affordable price and be a place holder for the time being.
According to my uncle, my parents' wedding barely cost over $100 dollars. My dad is no longer around but I have seen their wedding pictures, he was very handsome, well-educated, and smart, and he loved to work for his passions and to keep his own mom safe during her Senior years. After he passed away, we went through his old albums, yes that would be 70s and 80s clothing and hairstyles. Lol! Their wedding cost close to one hundred dollars. Mum's wedding dress was my grandmother's wedding dress. Raising three of us kids cost close to their paychecks. I won't go into details on how each of us ended up in foster care because of my mum's decisions. But I can confidently say that she used some tools and had low-level entry jobs to upkeep herself and us. She didn't have enough support and financial assistance to raise three kids on her own. I don't blame her at all. She's a great person. Raising a child or children is a huge commitment and a lifelong tie-up bond. But a marriage can definitely be affordable in a city hall. Or by asking a few friends to raise funds for a small private reception and wedding.
@@hameley12 i'm sorry for your loss---but glad that you had a mom who was so head-strong. to your final point---weddings seriously don't have to be that costly. people think wedding and start adding up unnecessary costs like expensive venues, guest lists, catering, music, gifts, etc. a small ceremony would do everything it'd need to---unite two people.
13:07 even when a child turns 18 that doesn’t mean you magically stop being a parent. Parenthood is for life. My mom will always be my mom. My dad is still my dad even if the lord called him back 💛
It's just so sinister to me that these loser men get their successful, beautiful, high-achieving girlfriends pregnant JUST as their careers begin to pop off (especially Halle). Like, it gives baby-trapping lowkey. It cannot be overstated how becoming a mother changes EVERY aspect of a woman's life, body, and health - and it's treated so casually now.
YES like esp Halle too DDG was talking shit on twitter while she was promoting in the biggest movie of her career and then come to find out she’s preggo 😭😭
@@marzipan2555 abortion is a complex and sensitive thing. Not everyone wants to undergo one or has a belief system that aligns with having one. Baby trapping can also involve tons of emotional manipulation - not that I'm saying that's what happened here as we don't know for sure - but the whole point of baby trapping is that it's an abuse tactic and often exists in the context of other controlling behaviours.
I agree that DDG had bad motives, but Halle is grown. He didn’t trap her, she was there when the baby was made lol. If you’re not planning against pregnancy, you’re planning for it.
I was called a prude in high school (I graduated in 2008 for reference, I’m old 😂) because I refused to have sex. I had so many friends who had kids before we graduated, and I knew from a young age that I did *not* want that life. I wish more young ladies understood that not wanting to be a baby mama doesn’t make you judgmental or anything like that, it’s just being smart.
Good on you. Children are such a burden at a young age. As women we will allways be attracted to it, but we need to make the right decisions for your future child as we owe them the best life
Same girly. Those people are weird af to me. I always saw myself above that. Rich af living my life. A lot of those girls just don't have goals for themselves it seems
I had a friend and even a bully who were the same way. My friend thought it was odd but didn't push me about it and the bully berated me for it. My friend had a kid but her and the dad didn't work out since they were 18 at the time, so now they co-parent. She says it's stressful and wished she waited before having a kid. As for the bully I don't know many details but she's had two kids with two men and isn't with either of them currently. Can't say I envy her. I know kids are a responsibility as an older sister. Funny enough those two were both only child people so that could play into it a bit.
I have told my partner of 3 years. No ring? NO BABY. I will be a wife before I am a mother. If I have to put my body on the line, my career, my social and financial life, then you can at least agree to stand by me forever OR until this kid is 18. In marriage. If not sorry no baby!!! That simple! We deserve to be respected as women. Sheltered. Kept safe while we are at our most vulnerable in pregnancy and birth. I will never be a baby mama. I will be A wife. A mother of my child. A love of my life. Women- you know your worth start demanding it!!! I pray for all my single mommas... some of my family and friends have been abandoned by the father of their children. Funny bc most will be back when kids are 18 and independent. God bless you ladies. I pray you all find a Good man, A God fearing worshipping man. God Bless.
I hate to break it to you but husbands walk away all. the. time. Especially during or after pregnancy. If you're a mother, you're simply fckd either way. Having a child is the biggest risk in a woman's life. Being married doesn't eliminate anything, even if it might give you a better feeling about it.
@@Mahlak_Mriuani_Anatman In most cases, I agree. Luckily we are both Christian and we both go to church and believe in marriage before kids and in the eyes of God. I used to date non-believers and I got no where in life, just disapointment. Best decision of my life is being with a God fearing man. God bless.
This whole "trend" is just so stupid in my opinion. Getting pregnant by some guy whos most likely playing with you (not calling all guys that!!) is just ridiculous, and posting it online is even worse. Thats not cute at all. Its just mad embarrassing, and for the kid also. Those people are putting their kids into a situation all cause you cant keep your legs close! 🤦♀🤦♀Meanwhile the man runs away from his responsibilities. What happen to planning pregnancies? And getting married before having kids?!
Yup I agree. Not all guys are playing in their faces butttttttt a lot of them are! Let’s keep it real. Maybe the women are in love or something, I know love can make you do stupid things, but having a whole baby is a big deal and I’m tired of it being seen as a little cute trend when it’s not!
When I hear that term, in this context, i take it more as be selective with who you're doing the deed with. But yeah, generally,it feels like a very "slut shaming" phrase. @heysaras
@ hm yes that what I mean! I’m not just blaming just the women in fault. After it takes 2 to make a baby and they exactly knows what happen if you do the deed. But if it was sexual harassment it be a different story. Both of ADULTS men and women is responsible to know, But In most celebrity cases. They both at fault and then proceeded to post it on the internet for fame and attention , and neither of them and mature and responsible enough to manged to care for a baby. And the men made the women pregnant so he’s definitely apart of it also! Sorry if it my sentence sounded wrong at first! ❤️
@@heysaras sorry if it seems like that ❤️! I’m bad at explaining things: i was talking about women in particular in that moment! (I know not all women are not like that!) and he’s totally agree that the men are completely responsible also!
To be honest Kylie didn't have career outside of being Kardashian at that point. And Kardashian brand is messy dramas so nobody blinked an eye at that.
I really feel bad for all of those babies and children who’s parents were never mature or responsible for taking care of their children. All of these young people getting pregnant so young and with no planning is very concerning. Thanks for your vid!! LOVE YOUR CONTENT!!! ❤❤❤
I will say, I know a lot of women who had babies (and yes i do mean multiple for some) in high school and they are damn good parents. However, they are the ones who have a village behind them to help. Sadly, thats not the case for majority of people and I feel bad for those babies
@@literallyimtrash7975I agree with you! There’s a lot of good mature young parents, some were raped that lead them to pregnancy. But this issue of having people who are Rich or privileged getting pregnant young and with no stable relationship with their partners is not ok, causing a lot of issues 😢
@literallyimtrash7975 I know so many too, but their kids grow up having issues. Everyone I know that was raised by one parent who are adults now have internal issues they constantly deal with and confusion. People don't need a village, kids want care from their mother and father- a stable home. The ones who were raised by a bunch of caregivers seem to be the ones most neglected by their parents and most troubled ones I've seen. It's more dangerous as well because many of them get se- abused in care of others including family members that are caring for them.
It’s sad how people treat literal human lives so flippantly. They don’t actually care how their choices will affect their child’s life in the short and long term. A baby is a commitment, a baby is a huge financial burden. At least you can get a divorce, but you can’t unhave a baby. You’re stuck with that person for life with a baby.
I agree however I don't think "dating down" is the issue per say since you can date down in terms of wealth and it still work out because the person was a good person. I think the issue is they have their pick of men and choose the worst possible options and when it comes to the black community that usually means the ones that have already proven themselves to be unreliable
It's deeper than that especially for black women. There are a lot of good men that don't even want a black woman, not even a good black woman. Society also pushes the idea that black women have the least worth.
lots of these girls really think it's cute to go through all of the pain of childbirth just to have a child they will neglect which can lead their child to become a rebel and end up dead or behind bars
Real. Parenting quality matters so much. EVERY SINGLE THING a parent does affects who their child will grow up to be. Everything a child sees and experiences will shape them into who they are as an adult including the tiniest little things and one bad parent can lead to future generational abuse and neglect.
It needs to still be taboo. Baby mama/baby daddy culture is disgusting, demeaning, and just causes chaos for the kid even if the parents are civil toward one another. Kids deserve better.
I agree, if 2 people can’t take each other seriously enough to marry each other before having a child, they are already doing that child a disservice. People seriously have kids SO flippantly because it’s normalized now to have children out of wedlock. Our next generation of kids absolutely deserves better.
my experience is it's usually the man who doesn't want to commit, and the woman goes along and stays with him because of sunk cost fallacy. it's sad, especially since women almost all the blame when they "can't keep a family together"
@@BubbleWrapAndCupcakewhen a person believes that since they have spent too much time/effort or money into something, it’s too late to leave it. They believe there’s no going back since they’ve put all this effort into it. Which is obviously not true you can still get out but some women believe you can’t.
Sometimes it doesn’t even get far enough to develop a sunk cost fallacy. A lot of women are also getting pregnant by either complete strangers, fwb (after club booty calls) and proceeding into full term pregnancy or are getting pregnant by guys they’ve known for under 150 day time frames (aka strangers). This is pure desperation, lack of foresight, honey moon phase gone sour and other words I honestly can’t type on YT.
@@desdior1207 this is what i deadass don't get like you had so many opportunities to run and instead you chose this dude who you've known for 5 months. like you can't blame the world for this one that's on you
That's true but why would you have a child with a man that couldn't even commit to you?? If he won't commit to you then why on God earth would he suddenly commit to the baby? It's sad that women get all the blame but they're not entirely innocent since it a man and a woman to create a child.
I work in a bridal store and the majority of our brides have children already. Many children are toddlers or older and I can’t help but think that this marriage wouldn’t be happening without the child. On the flip side, we also sell suits and many of the grooms complain about having to go through a wedding since they already have a child. These guys don’t want to lock it down, and these brides deserve more. I’ll never forget the sister-in-law to be saying she wanted to have a look at dresses while the bride was trying them on, saying “we’ve been together 11 years and I’ve given him 3 children, so a ring should be coming someday”. Poor girl.
@@CG00_ kids aren’t hard to have that is why, marriage is joining two debts together, legally. You get less benefits while married as a woman also, That takes alot of thinking and weddings are expensive. I’m not talking courthouse, I’m talking wedding ceremonies nobody just wants to rushing to be legally binded to someone who you never know for sure is going to always be the same person they were yesterday. Your child will always be your child. It’s a different type of love.
I’m Indian and it’s something rare in the Asian culture or I can say forbidden, kids out of wedlock. I got the cultural shock when I see women being so proud birthing kids like that. I’m not implying my culture is superior or the correct one but it was shocking when I learned it for the first time.
Honestly for what the subject is, I think it shouldn’t be controversial to consider this kind of behavior negative. Overall it negatively affects the children. Not to say all kids have a great life due to parents being married, but it’s undeniably a better outcome for the kid. Being a “baby mama” shouldn’t be seen as a goal, or something to celebrate.
I haven't even dated yet, but I know for a fact that I'm not giving it up to just anyone. This person has to not only be husband material but father material. We dont have to want children, but he needs to ready for anything. (I wouldn't want a child if I'm not ready but if something happens we need to be on the same wave length) Im a suburbs black girl too so TRUST my parents dont condone anything less than someone whose gonna be able to lift me up and me do the same for him.
10:11 No. The fear of commitment excuse is BULLSHIT. Having a child with someone else will forever lock you with that someone regardless of everything. At least with marriage, you can divorce someone and never be in contact with them.
Us women need to do better, we can't have our ancestors fighting for us being able to vote yet we out here popping babies for men who we can't even call husband 😩
I’m 31 and I will NEVER have be a baby mama. I have a sister younger than me struggling with one child. He is currently incarcerated LADIES…don’t do it..I’m never having kids..not worth it..
The average individual understands that having a kid is a bigger commitment than marriage because we experience the “burdens” or expenses/costs to have a kid to the fullest extent (financial responsibilities, childcare, etc.) while celebrities at least have the option (which provides a lot of relief) to alleviate a lot of the burden/costs.
Fr I hate this so much, being a independent single momma is so hyped these days. And I always tought it was possible to do until I had a single mom friend, I also slept a day at her home. And im telling you it's so hard to be a single mom thats it's near impossible. They never tell how dependend you become on your man while pregnant, and being dependent isnt that bad, because everyone is dependent on someone that's how life works. When your young you depend on your parents, then husband and then kids and that's completely normal. I do get that these people can be toxic and manipulate their power, but that is not a normal situation. And when your pregnant you become dependent on your husband they never tell how sometimes you cant even stand up by yourself, or how you can't close the zip of your pants, carry heavy groceries, cook because of nausea, can't drive. You can't even sleep for a few hours because who is gonna watch your baby? And no matter how tired you are (like studying during exams tired) but you can't sleep because you have to feed the baby, wash its clothes, make the baby stop crying) but your literally to the point to blackout from sleep. And also a child not only needs it's mom it also needs it's dad, ask anyone with happy married parents they will tell you how important the dad also is. They only show young girls how cute it is to dress your little one and to take cute pictures. And when your young you undermind everything. I find this whole topic so dangerous.
9:50 They feel like they don’t have enough money for a wedding, but they feel like they can afford a child??? And they don’t want to commit to one person by marry that then, but they don’t feel like they commit when they have a child with that person????
@@wilmaeriksson3518 you commit to the child… that is of your blood (family), not the person.. that you may no longer make a good partner with. Being someone’s child and being someone’s life partner are two different things
A marriage has NOTHING to do with a child, jsut because you don’t wanna marry don’t mean you can’t afford to raise a child, theres people like me, who was raised by my mother herself, yes my father was there, but to take care of me, but were they together? No, did I see every day? No.
i truly believe that they think a baby is "a baby" but not "oh, thats a human and spirit who might get affected by my choices and affect them mentally to be either bad or good and i should be responsible and GOD FORBID taking it seriously!".
I’m a Gen Xer and I remember going to the club every weekend and there was a song that just said THATS JUST MY BABY DADDY. Over and over. This was in the late 90s. First time I heard it I cringed 🫢
I have nothing against baby mamas and single mamas. What I've noticed is that they're almost always very young. Some literally straight from high school.
I think people completely forgot about skai jackson doxxing a 13 year old kid (he kinda had it coming but still was a kid and doxxing is illegal) and her creating an illegal lottery scam (the laptop raffle where you had to buy tickects to enter) She has been a trainwreck for years so I’m not surprised she ended up like that
Young women seeing the trend of ‘baby mamas’ take away the message that if celebrities are doing it, it can’t be that bad. I think the reason that the reason Kylie Jenner gets brought up less than Keke, Skai, and Halle is because nobody’s ever really wanted her to be a role model for little girls. No hate, but the same goes for Sexxy Red-what woman wants her loved ones to idolize her? But the others are talented young black women at the HEIGHT of promising careers making the incredibly blockheaded decision to have children without the promise of fidelity or support from the fathers. And it would be one thing if we were seeing long-term commitment even without marriage (think Goldie Hahn and Kurt Russel)- but all of these ladies seem determined to have children with absolute clowns who have no regard for them, dump them, and then humiliate them on social media.
This^^^ These three women are outstandingly talented, respected, and have the potential to rise through the ranks at an extraordinary level. Not that they still can’t, but it’ll be a heavy challenge now and especially with partners who won’t support them or carry their weight in parenthood. The general public doesn’t care about what Kylie does, and she already has success handed to her anyway. Many people aren’t rooting for her to make a name for herself like Halle, Keke, and Skai. So I think it’s a great point to be made that it’s not so much about these women’s race - It’s just that much of their potential will be sacrificed for men who won’t be worth it in the long run.
We need to also hold men accountable, especially black men, most of this women were made baby mamas by one, even the non black ones(kylie, Khloe, danileigh the yellow bone 😂lol)
Foreal it is so normalized amound black men to ! No sexual discipline at all ! I was friend with a dude that was saying he wanted kids and said was ready at 19 but when i asked him a few years after about marriage he got mad and said marriage is too much. Got mad when i wanted him to explain the logic of that ... They are lost and just repeat the patern around them without a single thought. They are filming videos saying they can just leave the baby but can't leave a marriage like WHAT THE FUCK and some ladies are falling for that ? TAKE THE PILL LADY AT THE VERY LEAST TAKE THE PILL !!!
It’s probably a cultural difference but in NZ it’s the white men who have a kid then ditch their partner. I feel like it could be similar in America only black people always have a crazy critical spotlight on them and white people are assumed to be capable and prepared for family shit, even when so damn many aren’t. Men absolutely needa be held more accountable, especially the white men who always slide under the radar
I don't know what people expected when skai's wedlock pregnancy was announced. I'm 21 now and all these fatherless, marriageless, surprise pregnancies are so annoying and unattractive. I grew up in a two-parent household and I'll be damned if my child doesn't.
35:44 That's is the problem with our culture. Our women seek the thrill of mischief and danger just to come to the realization 4 kids and 3 baby daddies in that I should of sought after a "good" man. And following these influencers do NOT help because they are negative role models in young women's lives. Can we stop living to this stereotype?
Sexyy Red getting pregnant was ngl ridiculous.. in my opinion shes not wife material and idk how she raises her children or how she treats them but to me i feel like she's not a great role model for any generation..
@@Melinanextdoor artists, actors, or athletes are most of these younger kids' role models, whether they like it or not. Yes, they didn't ask to be one, but that comes with the territory once you become famous and mainstream.
@@josenitehonorat4393 it's on the parents of said kids to monitor and guide their kids, and show what's good or not. Someone who outs out music or is famous isn't responsible for your kids - that's on you. Learn how to raise them bc the world won't.
I like the idea of motherhood... But to raise a child with someone who doesnt wanna commit fully to the family... Damn.. Imagine telling that to little Timmy "daddy dont wanna be here cause he busy with other bches"
I love how with every new video, NK makes sure the quality gets better and better and better. We notice your work, dedication and commitment to growth girl, such an inspo!
It’s awful, but we all know it was intended for a specific demographic of women. But now, being as though being “urban” is more acceptable they’ll occasionally apply it to those that are considered “urban” ie Kim K and nem. It makes me sick to hear that word applied to a woman who sacrificed her body, mental health, and life to give life to a child. We suck as a society.
I wish our community wasn’t so judgmental of the baby momma because the mom is the one stepping up and taking care of her child and everything else on her own. The dad abandoned all of his responsibilities, yet doesn’t receive enough flak about choosing not to be there and sometimes not providing any financial or physical help.
the dads are literally gaining approval from this behaviour is the extra heinous thing; that sowing your wild oats tradition is far from in the past. and notice a guy with a kid is considered attractive while a woman with a kid is tacky or whatever
@ oh yes so true! The man’s reputation is not usually tarnished one bit. Hopefully that changes, but men will have to hold each other accountable, and women will have to stop thinking these are good fathers just because they posted their son one time.
Its true!!! However we as women hold the power to choose better. Why are we risking our lives on hospital bed birthing a man child who does not love, respect, value, appreciate, and are committed to us? You should think SO HIGHLY of yourself a man will have to go through hoops and hurdles, vetting, confirmation through God, marriage , time, and consistency too see if he measures up to your level of procreating with. We need to choose better period no matter how long it take. There are women out here so desperate they are willingly creating broken homes via baby mama hood, and IVF. Kids need two parents period it’s not just about the woman, or the man’s feelings. Believe I know from personal experience a man will purposely try to impregnate a woman at her prime to lock her down so another man won’t want her, or make her dating life more challenging. They do it on purpose. So with that knowledge we know how horrible a man can be why would we willingly choose to suffer?
@@ishaw9894 Well said! It really does start with knowing our self worth.Our community has had a confidence issue ever since the chains. Once we see our worth we will stop making silly life changing decisions, and we will choose better partners. It’s taking a long time, but I am noticing that our community is improving. We are breaking more generational curses by learning from others mistakes and correcting ourselves. Also we need more men in the community to step up and be an uncle/role model for the kids who do not have a father in their life. Especially from the churches. As you said, a child needs both parents.
@@ishaw9894 Nobody forced them to keep the fetus before it became a baby, yet everyone is supposed to sympathize with their struggles. Make it make sense, having a baby out of wedlock is a CHOICE.
I just discovered your channel and I freaking love the concept. All the instagram poll to see different opinions, it’s so cool to see how willing you are to see other perspectives
And omg I'm so scared because I want to get married so bad and I just feel like it's not even normal anymore?? Like so many grandmothers and NO mothers in law?? Why do these men love having children with multiple women but want nothing to do with stability?!
Finding a man with no kids to share that experience with as husband and wife for the 1st time together nowadays is difficult. But somehow single moms keep a man with no kids!!
I got so much crap and sometimes still do for refusing to have sex outside of marriage. Hell no! I’m not risking in any capacity having a child outside of wedlock! My husband and I have been married five years and just had our first child! My son has a present, loving, and attentive father that I can’t believe is so wonderful! I get not wanting to marry if there’s no plans for kids, but don’t ever have kids without being married (at least in the US). It’s an insanely big gamble that’s most likely to bite you in the butt. At least with marriage if homeboy peaces out you’re not only entitled to child support but spousal support if needed.
Because they can leave the moment they impregnate the women and being away from it gives them the ability to NOT be associated with the child 24/7. Women have no choice but to be asspciated as they go through pregnancy, delivery etc. If there was a law that made it mandatory to stay in public eye after creating that poor child, man would man up real fast
Baby daddy get judgement ALL the time. Why is difficult for women to not accept responsibility? I'm tired of women acting like they don't have control over their own bodies.
@lisacox5405 it's simply not on the same level, i'm sorry. if a woman doesn't want to take care of her child, she's considered not just heartless but pathologically fucked up and/or evil. if a man doesn't want to take care of his child, he gets labelled irresponsible or young and foolish or not ready, long before any of the evil/heartless/fucked up assessments come up. if they ever do.
I think there are multiple reasons (naturally): - Celebrities doing it even though they can afford it. - Rap and RnB music (which are more mainstream than ever) romanticizing BMs - "Women empowerment" / "dont need no man" type attitude gone completely wrong - The decline in the social importance of marriage - Backlash from people growing up in toxic households with married parents - People who were raised by a single mom finally grew up and continued the cycle. - It's easier to get divorced - People don't date their significant other long enough before committing to an entire baby. - Trapping men for money - Carelessness
I took a “Black Family Studies” course in college and never looked at the word FAMILY the same. I grew up in the projects and unfortunately a lot of Black Women (just speaking for my community) have to raise their children on their own and it affects the kids! I’m a product of it. I’ve literally seen my cousin work two jobs to provide for my little cousins and the dad’s child support and was $75 for two kids a month…..
for me a baby is a much bigger commitment than marriage. I don't understand their logic with fear of commitment by not getting married but having many babies
You see, most Americans do use protection but it’s not 100% full proof. There is always a margin of error with contraceptives but that’s not the problem. I think it comes down to pressuring your partner not to use it. I knew girls who had to argue with their bf about condoms with arguments like “if to love me if doesn’t matter” or “it doesn’t feel good to wear a condom” or “You don’t trust that I’m clean?” These are very childish arguments but unfortunately it works on a lot of people.
Why do none Americans keep judging us as a whole, instead of judging us based on the bad apples that goes viral that makes us "look bad" not everyone is like her and it's common in other countries to have teen pregnancies and young pregnancies for whatever the circumstances are. Who said she wasn't using protection. She made a shifty choice in having a baby with this man.
@capricornlayanna3828 but we don't, though we know that we're not the s***, like the average american citizen does not get the hype and all of us actually want to leave the country. You're proven my point, because not the average american thinks how the majority of people foreigners think that we think. Y'all are looking us all into one group. When the few people that get spread on the media does not represent the whole. We can't do anything about our government officials at all.We don't have the power. We know that our country is too divided, so we're gonna be f***** Either way, it goes because we will never be united
As a young man, I'm so glad that more young women are calling our culture out. Not to put ALL of the responsibility on women but being the "natural selectors" of our species does (typically) give women more of a say in whose genes get passed down. I can't imagine what I would be like if my mother was a "baby mama" instead of a mother (a married one at that). I'm so grateful towards both of my parents for actively planning to have children before they had them. It really makes a world of difference. Thank you for this video!
@@kennedy2893 Yes? Genuine question. Is there something wrong with what I said? I wasn't trying to be rude but that is typically the role of the female (I say female in reference to the animal kingdom-not calling you an animal).
@@MISSMADISONMEDIA 100%. That's not the way I meant it. I meant it like a "anybody can be a father but not everybody can be a dad" type of way. Of course they're still mothers but like you said the circumstances are different.
We see Skai as being worth so much more. She doesn't. She sees herself worth what she is with. Same with Hallie Balle. We see their worth but they don't. Satan will use whatever will work to keep you stuck and away from the blessing God has for you. As you said ignorance is bliss. It's also deadly.
Honestly, people who claim to be afraid of committing to one person but are ok with having a kid scare me, because I feel like they're likely to prioritize their love life over their kid.
this isn't the first generation of "baby mama" culture. that was a thing when i was growing up too and I'm 45. like my late grandmere always said "ain't nothing new under the sun"
I don't understand how more women don't understand that's not the flex they think it is. Multiple generations of "baby mamas" is not a good look! To know it's not a healthy thing to create that environment for a child and continue to repeat that cycle is crazy to me!
Thats really degrading for a woman, now it’s a trend in my country and it’s complicating getting child support because if your baby has your fathers last name he has more to say in burrocracy but if mothers you have to prove that it’s his child and but its easier to get into public childcare like kindergarten. I couldnt live like that without stability
The marriage vs baby thing is like that because people often get into relationships based on very trivial details therefore marriage seems like a big commitment. If you view sex and relationships frivolously then in turn baby mama baby daddy is your accepted circumstance because it’s already thought of as an inevitable outcome. It’s already a normalized circumstance with little social deterrence because of our off course sexual liberation movement. We’re witnessing what happens when you get too free with your freedoms. Kylie isn’t normally thought about in this not because she’s non black but because Travis Scott is extremely wealthy and successful even though he very much gives pookie vibes 😂 it’s only negative when one or both people are not considered respectable aka poor/unsuccessful
i believe theres a difference between having kid while being in a non marital COMMITED relationship or co-parenting parznership. than getting pregnant by a random/uncommited person who wants nothing to do with you/baby.
I agree, a colleague of mine had a baby during lockdown so they had a toddler when their wedding happened after covid, they were already committed but wanted to wait until they could have the wedding they want but didnt want to wait to have a baby, they were in their mid thirties
yeah, there is a very big difference. I know people who've been together for almost a decade and are very content with not getting married because they know their relationship is long-term
As a French I don’t really understand. I don’t think you need to get married to birth a child. However, going to marry or not you should choose wisely your partner. I know people who get married, had a child and get divorced two years later because the husband is just a douche doing nothing for his family and in particular for the child. While I know a couple together for 30 years, not married and with three successful and balanced children. I think it’s more how you choose your partner, is he someone trustworthy? responsible, respectful towards you and ready to create a family and support it? (And support it whatever happens for example a potential divorce etc.) I think it counts more,marriage can end it’s not an immunity totem.
The idea isn't that someone should only have a child if they're married; it's that someone shouldn't have a baby JUST to keep a relationship. The only intention someone should have when having a child should be ensuring the safety and care of the child, not just using it as a cheap tactic to stay connected with careless men. These baby mamas, unfortunately, think having a man's baby is better than being married as if they don't have a literal human being's life in their hands. Caring for a baby has WAY more responsibilities than keeping a relationship or marriage.
There are way to many dumb girls out there throwing away their lives for dead beat men🤦🏽♀️ Stay safe out their ladies and stop procreating with these creatures please💀
it's really cool to see hwo your content has improved, in it's quality video wise, editing and all it's always been a pleasure to watch but it's even more so now ❤️
To be fair, in the Movie Baby mama the whole premise was that Tina Fey's character couldn't get pregnant so she hired a surrogate mother. In the end, the surrogate was acctually pregnant with her husbands child and during this Tina meet a man, fell in love, and miraculously gets pregnant. Neither women were single moms by the end of the movie. So not a great name, but definitely not pushing the baby mama narrative.
31:25 Yes I have been saying this everywhere!! We are allowed to have an opinion on these people lives because they shoves us into them. They invite us into their conversations, thoughts and love lives so we're going to give our thoughts, happiness or disgust over their choices.
Thank you for blurring out these babies' faces ❤ Great review. I was just talking about this and how it's quite sad that so many people no longer value the importance of strong family units and healthy family dynamics
The ppl that checked "Depends on the Context" is a Baby Mama/Baby Daddy. Ain't nothing cute about it. Ladies, protect your womb and work on your future, always.❤
There’s is no such thing as baby mama culture is just getting harder and harder to find men that are mature, and willing to commit. A lot of women are becoming childless/ low birth rates because of this problem.
My thing is, why do a lot of these women choose the worst men to get them pregnant. It makes it look like they just have poor judgment and critical thinking skills in general.
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wait I just wanna know why was a photo of THEE Barrack and Micelle Obama was included at the beginning of this video lmao. They are nowhere near baby mama culture lol
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2:03 Generation of bastard children is not a flex 😢
thank thank you so much 😊
Ppl don’t want to get married cuz it cost money and they don’t wanna commit yet they can afford and commit to raising a human for at least 18 years make that make sense.
That’s what I’m confused
it's the men that don't wanna marry because they feel that gives women access to their money but they'd rather make women pregnant because at the end of the day, they can and do walk away and it's the woman's both money and emotional labor raising that kid not them. They just cruises ship the nice times and get to use the pregnancy and child as control because the women are vulnerable then
A Human is Forever. Not diamond rings.
preach
Literally like how do these people not see that children are forever? At least divorce is an option with marriage, but sharing a child with someone means you're tied to someone for life.
I just do not understand the whole "oh, I can't commit to marriage" or "I don't believe in marriage" but still pop out a baby
I'll be the one to say they don't deserve a baby if they aren't ready for marriage. They just simply aren't mature, emotionally intelligent adults. It's delusional teenager behaviour.
that baby will have a lifetime of trauma to deal with later on, I've noticed children who grew up with both stable and loving parents usually grow up to be loving and stable parents themselves and vice versa its just a vicious cycle and I don't want to dump all of that trauma on an innocent child ! they really do need both parents present to grow up to be a healthy human being.
The current marriage structure in the USA is a Europeanized institution. That's why it is failing. What needs to exist is an incentive to marry.
Frl bro
Exactly, ‘cause you can go into debt paying off a divorce lawyer but you cannot return a child
“But weddings are costly” and then they go an plan gender reveals and baby showers with ton of decorations and guests. Be fr, just go to the courthouse or a chapel and call it day. It was never that hard 🤷🏽♀️
Not only that, they say "weddings are costly" as if throwing a big wedding is an obligation. You can just go down to the court and then throw a BBQ in your backyard 🙄. I got married at the court with rings from Amazon. January will be our 10th year anniversary. People be focusing on the wrong thing.
@ congraaaaats. And yees, you can just invite your loved ones and throw a small thing. If you really love someone, you’ll make it work no matter what
THANK YOU. 😂
My parents have been married since before I was born (1st child) then renewed their vows a few years ago and threw a big wedding reception so there’s always an option to do it small now and big in the future. Rings can always be upgraded. None of these people can use the “weddings are expensive” excuse with me because the big reception is just a luxury not mandatory. Just like y’all said go to the courthouse. Some people opt out of the big reception and dedicate that money towards a greater honeymoon experience.
@@gabrielasosa9146 and why is it that you feel like ppl need to be obligated to get married
I don't have a baby of my own and I'll never allow this to happen to me. Why bring another life into the world to gain fame or stuff from the father? It's gross and degrading. The dad can go off with who he pleases and gets other women pregnant for what?! Nothing about this culture is cute nor beautiful. I feel more sorry for the child that's gonna grow up to see this and therefore either copy or become what their parents have done.
exactly, its not cute at all. This shouldn't be a trend at all. This is why i think its best to get married before having kids.
Yeah, being a baby mama is horrible
In jamaica the term is only used rarely, I don't know why Americans call everyone a baby mama even when they married, it was mich better when it was only used when necessary, the word is used way out of proportion
💯
@@Pink_bobacatbeing a baby daddy is horrible
I only have one question: why is no one using contraception if pregnancy is not their goal? (EDIT: **IF YOU DONT LIKE THE PILL, RUBBER UP! ALSO I NEVER SPECIFIED GENDER STOP ACTING LIKE IM BLAMING THE WOMAN**)
That’s what doesn’t make sense to me. I’m not pregnant because I don’t want to be so I’m on BC. It’s that simple imo
That’s a very good question! Contraceptives aren’t 100% reliable too so that could be a reason I know ppl who have gotten pregnant while on BC
There's also misinformation about contraceptives being spread as well. Could be a contributing factor.
@@AngryBlush I didn't think of that, but it could be a reason. Where I'm from the gov even gives us condoms for free in big crates spread through subway stations and we have big incentive to use, so it shocked me seeing so many unplanned pregnancies among famous people
Honestly that's my only question. I know T. Swift, Zendaya, Sabrina C. are out here spreading them legs. How do these women not have access to the same BC
I will always keep saying this. Black women need to understand they deserve better. Many have been brainwashed into thinking the ring is unnecessary but popping out kids for a man that already has other baby mamas and still think “I’m the one. He gon change with me”. Ladies, STAND UP.
Facts
Because they’re wise! Unmarried women are happier and healthier!!!
I think you meant just women?
@@hannahlang4703 how is being unmarried with kids of the wrong man better than being married??
@@gabrielasosa9146 a lot of divorced/separate household women have talked about this, and a lot of sociological research has been done. Basically, even most “good” men create extra work for women. 7-12 hours per week. Without the man, the woman just minds her own business and her kid’s business without trying to “help” the man help her…it lessens the emotional load and pressure and that’s why newly single moms rave about how nice it is to be single moms without all the dead weight ☺️
I’m kinda tired of celebrities promoting being a “strong single mom” instead of being smart in the dating pool and actually finding a decent man to have a child with because that shit is very different for regular women. Also, not saying they’re not good moms but they also have damn nannies and maids and cooks like don’t act all woe is me and like it’s as hard for y’all as it is for non celebrity women 😂😂
That’s my issue with them, they r literally rich and can afford all the help in the world! So ofc they will promote being a single mother 😂🤦🏾♀️
Right why would i want to be strong in a situation I should not be strong in... They need support likeee
You can be smart and the person be wearing a mask the whole relationship… not everyone is with someone who is blatantly dogging them… 9/10 someone is wearing a mask or people just fall out of love… it is what it is
What decent men??? 9 times out of ten all of you women who talk about finding a man. Don’t even have men. And also complain about men. Give me a break!
My moms single and I’ve had the best life imaginable, 🙁
Some women are determined to make their lives more difficult.
Unfortunately some of us are raised that way, to seek out “struggle love” but I’m rebuking that!
Seems like it - makes no sense having a child in your early 20s when we are figuring out who we are
We need more discussions on how parent, specifically father, absenteeism affects girls. How it makes them seek men who give them shallow attention.
@@NkirukasWrldtrue,generational trauma
When youre raised in house when someone hurts you and than tell you that they do that because they love you, you seek love in adult life, but the ides of it that was passed on you is hurtful
All for the plot
being a BM is very degrading, a man making me have his kid without any security is an incredibly awful position to be in. Being married and choosing the man I want to father my babies is a CHOICE I owe my kids, yall are empowering bum dudes
Absolutely. I’m not bringing my child into an unstable environment and I feel for all these kids who have to deal with that.
Exactly! Then the same people cry about the bums....what did they think men would do when you don't hold them to any standards? And unfortunately most bw only require a man to be blk and work part time. There is zero incentive for these dudes to marry and create families.
Exactly! 💯 carrying a dusty legacy has to be the biggest L why let a dusty finish inside you?
When my friend got pregnant. I could tell she was feeling a bit ashamed about which .. he was already abusing and cheating on her after serval abortions. She bragged about how much everything cost for the gender reveal that was awkward because the guy clearly is just there to be there. One of those guys who walks away when the gender isn’t what he wanted .. anyway .. I asked her, why don’t yall just get married or engaged if you feel uncomfortable walking around with this big ole belly labor of love with no love on your finger. And the look of resentment towards me like I was the one who knocked her up. But, fr. These men know it’s a bad look for you to be walking around belly all swoll with no ring on. They know that looks goofy and they don’t careeeee .. lol like they don’t care that your feet swollen, emotions high and you out here looking like a low class citizen breed3r type .. lmao they know. And they don’t care 😂 carrying for someone who literally don’t care about your public reputation is wild hahaha .. but why would they care .. these girls don’t take their own reputation and future seriously ..
And another thing. They tend to think “oh well I got money” .. I hated my parents for years because they weren’t married and created a bunch of kids all over the place. I looked down on them. You’re supposed to look up to your parents. But, why would anyone want to do that when you just do anything basically. Even that child can grow to resent and not respect you for that decision.
These people only do it because they can afford to, not because they want to empower themselves as a single mother.
Don't have kids unless you're mentally, physically and financially ready!!!!
Don't burden your children if you can avoid it!!!
I totally agree
yes yes yes!!!!! some people are pressure others on having kids without taking into account if those people are actually ready for it in every possible way even if they're married, given today's age i can see why some people prefer to have pets rather than kids (what i said beforehand can also apply to pets but yeah)
And emotionally ready too
Lies. My parent were neither financially or mentally ready but they still gave me life that I am grateful for. Imagine if everyone folwed that the polulation we would go extinct
@kazi2683 Hopefully that's the goal. We don't need no more kids being birthed ☠️ By mentally stable I think they mean non abusive
"i can't afford a marriage" AND YOU THINK YOU CAN AFFORD A BABY?😭
20k for one party vs. 20k spread across several years.
Add another zero on the kid… just food, clothes, school fees, insurance etc.
@@theceechthe average cost of raising a child in the US for 18 years ranges from $200k-$460k.
@@theceech 20k for the first 5 years of their life maybe. a marriage license is 100 dollars. giving birth WITH insurance is already twenty or thirty times that
Uhm yes? Marriage has nothing to do with raising a child, like a women is more then enough to raise a child financially and mentally, y’all act like if she’s not married then she’s broke and not raising the child correctly
incredibly disappointing that Skai CHOSE to be with a thug and then created life with him...its so irresponsible in so many ways. i just hope that they both clean up their act and get serious for this child. i just cant wrap my head around someone in Skai's position, with immense privilege, fame, and money, deliberately choosing to be with a criminal who in all honesty seems likes he hates her. like what do u meaaaaan he was insulting her on his social media?! this world is insane! protect ur womb ladies!!
He has others and still does not have it together
She is his 4th baby mama
She met him by being his pen pal when he was locked up 🤷🏾♂️ honestly don’t know what all she expected from him
Sad how ppl can have so little self-respect
Child stars are messed up
Yeah, Halle Bailey for example. She had a GOLDEN opportunity, and was being put on the fast track to IT girl status. She had Disney backing her, and major celebrities coming to her defense. She allowed herself to get pregnant by DDG, and her career hasn’t been the same. Now she’s getting side-character roles, when in a couple years, she could’ve had a couple A-list films under her belt. She could’ve been on zendayas level in a couple years if she was smart.
She still can come back it’s not like it’s over for her
She can still come back x2 look at Emma Stone, I bet most people don’t even know she has a child, and Scarlett Johansson as well, there’s plenty of successful actresses that have children
@@niarahancock4739yea but we can’t act like her becoming a single mom didn’t hurt her image a little bit. It’s harsh but it’s the truth.
The difference is timing. Scarlett Johansson stared in multiple blockbuster films that crossed at least 400 mill. Halle hasn’t reached that level yet. Al the white women actresses wait until they’re MARRIED and established. Halle was neither of those when she got pregnant. It’s about timing, she had the baby too early.
@@lealsofi those women value their privacy and don’t blast their private life on the Internet. I dare you to try to find information about Emma Stone. She intentionally keeps quiet.
People shift more blame on women because we can’t “walk away” from parenthood the way that men can and often do. The responsibility of parenthood inherently weighs more on women because we carry and deliver the baby. While it does take 2 tango, the difference in what each person has to do to bring a child into the world is vast. At the end of the day, we as women are putting our life and baby’s life on the line, we should be cautious with who we choose to procreate with
Also because women have a wider arsenal of high accuracy birth control available.
Well explained.
I can kind of agree. However,though women are the ones who can't "walk away" from parenthood,necessarily. Responsibility still falls on both parties for the child's existence. Even if one party or both parties don't end up caring for the child,they still have to make sure there is a stable environment for the child's growth. Whether they are directly apart of it or not. Now,of course,women should be careful of who they have children with, b/c there is life and health on the line for the mother and child. But when it comes to choosing to have a child,both people have to face responsibility sooner or later for its birth and safety.
What are the best methods of caution? Do you think schools in communities with high out-of-wedlock births should start implementing more abstinence only messaging? I think that’s a good start.
@@LoneWulf278that’s a horrible start. Places with the most abstinence messaging tend to have the highest teen/ out of wedlock pregnancies. You should always teach safe protected sex.
I genuinely hate the word baby mama. That’s a mother of a child, a child who deserves to have a stable and secure upbringing, who deserves to know to sustainable and healthy relationships look like, it’s so irresponsible to bring a human person into this world to figure out on their own what to do, because you refused to. That applies to baby daddies too, keep your “things” in your pants until you practice intimacy responsibly
Same it feels disrespectful to call the mother or even father of a child that.
Most men have zero sexual discipline along with women but it’s mostly men
@@cloudgirl2331 I’ve always felt the same way.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@cloudgirl2331 the only time my family ever uses it is when the father or mother is a deadbeat
i judge both 😂 baby mommas and baby dads crazy stuff
I do to especially when they keep having kids by the person and he or she isn’t taking care of the previous kids…like how dumb can u be lol 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
@@michellecooper7081 now you know how the human species survives, stupidity, ironic isn't it
the idea that marriage is costly, deeming it 'not worth it' is weird to me---in the context of having kids with no ring. a ring and wedding aren't mandatory for marriage and would be one-time purchases. a baby is a recurring expense---one that people have to pay for 18 (sometimes more) years.
Yes. You can get married for a very inexpensive price at town halls, court houses, and government buildings. The rings can always be purchased in the future. There's silcone rings that can be purchased for an affordable price and be a place holder for the time being.
They just are looking for an excuse not to commit
According to my uncle, my parents' wedding barely cost over $100 dollars. My dad is no longer around but I have seen their wedding pictures, he was very handsome, well-educated, and smart, and he loved to work for his passions and to keep his own mom safe during her Senior years. After he passed away, we went through his old albums, yes that would be 70s and 80s clothing and hairstyles. Lol! Their wedding cost close to one hundred dollars. Mum's wedding dress was my grandmother's wedding dress. Raising three of us kids cost close to their paychecks. I won't go into details on how each of us ended up in foster care because of my mum's decisions. But I can confidently say that she used some tools and had low-level entry jobs to upkeep herself and us. She didn't have enough support and financial assistance to raise three kids on her own. I don't blame her at all. She's a great person.
Raising a child or children is a huge commitment and a lifelong tie-up bond. But a marriage can definitely be affordable in a city hall. Or by asking a few friends to raise funds for a small private reception and wedding.
@@hameley12 i'm sorry for your loss---but glad that you had a mom who was so head-strong.
to your final point---weddings seriously don't have to be that costly. people think wedding and start adding up unnecessary costs like expensive venues, guest lists, catering, music, gifts, etc. a small ceremony would do everything it'd need to---unite two people.
@@AngryBlushMy marriage cost $30 and an hour of my time. Unless you are bougie and want a massive ceremony, getting married is actually pretty cheap.
13:07 even when a child turns 18 that doesn’t mean you magically stop being a parent. Parenthood is for life. My mom will always be my mom. My dad is still my dad even if the lord called him back 💛
opinions
I am so sorry for your loss
@@Mahlak_Mriuani_Anatman get your pessimism out of here
I think people who aren’t willing to support their kids into adulthood dont need to have them if we’re being so fr. It’s genuinely hard out here
BRAIDS ATE BTW
😻😻😻yes
❣️❣️❣️
Yes! ❤
It's just so sinister to me that these loser men get their successful, beautiful, high-achieving girlfriends pregnant JUST as their careers begin to pop off (especially Halle). Like, it gives baby-trapping lowkey. It cannot be overstated how becoming a mother changes EVERY aspect of a woman's life, body, and health - and it's treated so casually now.
YES like esp Halle too DDG was talking shit on twitter while she was promoting in the biggest movie of her career and then come to find out she’s preggo 😭😭
But also, don't they have access to.. termination of the pregnancy? They did make the choice to keep the baby
@@marzipan2555 abortion is a complex and sensitive thing. Not everyone wants to undergo one or has a belief system that aligns with having one. Baby trapping can also involve tons of emotional manipulation - not that I'm saying that's what happened here as we don't know for sure - but the whole point of baby trapping is that it's an abuse tactic and often exists in the context of other controlling behaviours.
I agree that DDG had bad motives, but Halle is grown. He didn’t trap her, she was there when the baby was made lol. If you’re not planning against pregnancy, you’re planning for it.
@@aribaby5586exactly they want to blame him like he's force her 💀😂 she's grown
I was called a prude in high school (I graduated in 2008 for reference, I’m old 😂) because I refused to have sex. I had so many friends who had kids before we graduated, and I knew from a young age that I did *not* want that life. I wish more young ladies understood that not wanting to be a baby mama doesn’t make you judgmental or anything like that, it’s just being smart.
Good on you. Children are such a burden at a young age. As women we will allways be attracted to it, but we need to make the right decisions for your future child as we owe them the best life
Same girly. Those people are weird af to me. I always saw myself above that. Rich af living my life. A lot of those girls just don't have goals for themselves it seems
Same too Girly.!! I also graduated '08!!🙌🤛🎓 Jerky Jerky is correct. 🤣I'm just getting "He totally took advantage of her" vibes! So Gross.
@@shelbeepollino9008 good for you. This is exactly why it good not to follow stupid Trends cause you see other people doing it.
I had a friend and even a bully who were the same way. My friend thought it was odd but didn't push me about it and the bully berated me for it. My friend had a kid but her and the dad didn't work out since they were 18 at the time, so now they co-parent. She says it's stressful and wished she waited before having a kid. As for the bully I don't know many details but she's had two kids with two men and isn't with either of them currently. Can't say I envy her. I know kids are a responsibility as an older sister. Funny enough those two were both only child people so that could play into it a bit.
Don’t sleep with a man that you can’t trust to stick around.
They don’t deserve you anyways.
Don’t fail your future children.
Real what happened to love over lust
This baby mama culture isn't 'empowering.' It's encouraging to see babies as accessories for women to be 'strong' or as a 'baddie' 💀
I have told my partner of 3 years. No ring? NO BABY. I will be a wife before I am a mother. If I have to put my body on the line, my career, my social and financial life, then you can at least agree to stand by me forever OR until this kid is 18. In marriage. If not sorry no baby!!! That simple! We deserve to be respected as women. Sheltered. Kept safe while we are at our most vulnerable in pregnancy and birth. I will never be a baby mama. I will be A wife. A mother of my child. A love of my life. Women- you know your worth start demanding it!!! I pray for all my single mommas... some of my family and friends have been abandoned by the father of their children. Funny bc most will be back when kids are 18 and independent. God bless you ladies. I pray you all find a Good man, A God fearing worshipping man. God Bless.
I hate to break it to you but husbands walk away all. the. time. Especially during or after pregnancy. If you're a mother, you're simply fckd either way. Having a child is the biggest risk in a woman's life. Being married doesn't eliminate anything, even if it might give you a better feeling about it.
knowing humans. you'll be waiting for a while or forever
@@Mahlak_Mriuani_Anatman In most cases, I agree. Luckily we are both Christian and we both go to church and believe in marriage before kids and in the eyes of God. I used to date non-believers and I got no where in life, just disapointment. Best decision of my life is being with a God fearing man. God bless.
This whole "trend" is just so stupid in my opinion. Getting pregnant by some guy whos most likely playing with you (not calling all guys that!!) is just ridiculous, and posting it online is even worse. Thats not cute at all. Its just mad embarrassing, and for the kid also. Those people are putting their kids into a situation all cause you cant keep your legs close! 🤦♀🤦♀Meanwhile the man runs away from his responsibilities. What happen to planning pregnancies? And getting married before having kids?!
Yup I agree. Not all guys are playing in their faces butttttttt a lot of them are! Let’s keep it real. Maybe the women are in love or something, I know love can make you do stupid things, but having a whole baby is a big deal and I’m tired of it being seen as a little cute trend when it’s not!
“Keep legs closed” is so misogynistic. Only the woman is responsible? No.
When I hear that term, in this context, i take it more as be selective with who you're doing the deed with. But yeah, generally,it feels like a very "slut shaming" phrase. @heysaras
@ hm yes that what I mean! I’m not just blaming just the women in fault. After it takes 2 to make a baby and they exactly knows what happen if you do the deed. But if it was sexual harassment it be a different story. Both of ADULTS men and women is responsible to know, But In most celebrity cases. They both at fault and then proceeded to post it on the internet for fame and attention , and neither of them and mature and responsible enough to manged to care for a baby. And the men made the women pregnant so he’s definitely apart of it also! Sorry if it my sentence sounded wrong at first! ❤️
@@heysaras sorry if it seems like that ❤️! I’m bad at explaining things: i was talking about women in particular in that moment! (I know not all women are not like that!) and he’s totally agree that the men are completely responsible also!
Kylie also got treated differently because she’s white, let’s keep it real. Black baby mamas get judged way harsher than white ones.
Right. Also she's significantly richer than Travis and all the examples used above in the video.
What race of men are creating most of these baby mams,?
She comes from a stable financial background she doesn’t live in the ghetto. And she doesn’t promote/flaunt it like other people do.
True however shes insanely insecure and comes from a family of energy vampires @@dree164
To be honest Kylie didn't have career outside of being Kardashian at that point. And Kardashian brand is messy dramas so nobody blinked an eye at that.
I really feel bad for all of those babies and children who’s parents were never mature or responsible for taking care of their children.
All of these young people getting pregnant so young and with no planning is very concerning.
Thanks for your vid!! LOVE YOUR CONTENT!!! ❤❤❤
I will say, I know a lot of women who had babies (and yes i do mean multiple for some) in high school and they are damn good parents. However, they are the ones who have a village behind them to help. Sadly, thats not the case for majority of people and I feel bad for those babies
@@literallyimtrash7975I agree with you! There’s a lot of good mature young parents, some were raped that lead them to pregnancy. But this issue of having people who are Rich or privileged getting pregnant young and with no stable relationship with their partners is not ok, causing a lot of issues 😢
@literallyimtrash7975 I know so many too, but their kids grow up having issues. Everyone I know that was raised by one parent who are adults now have internal issues they constantly deal with and confusion. People don't need a village, kids want care from their mother and father- a stable home. The ones who were raised by a bunch of caregivers seem to be the ones most neglected by their parents and most troubled ones I've seen. It's more dangerous as well because many of them get se- abused in care of others including family members that are caring for them.
It’s sad how people treat literal human lives so flippantly. They don’t actually care how their choices will affect their child’s life in the short and long term. A baby is a commitment, a baby is a huge financial burden. At least you can get a divorce, but you can’t unhave a baby. You’re stuck with that person for life with a baby.
weve always been like that
rightt
I think another issue is that these women have access to better men however they practically "date down". Like i get it u like who u like but a felon?
Yeah cause good men won't agree to having a baby two months into the relationships 😭😭Especially for clout or just to follow a trend
I agree however I don't think "dating down" is the issue per say since you can date down in terms of wealth and it still work out because the person was a good person. I think the issue is they have their pick of men and choose the worst possible options and when it comes to the black community that usually means the ones that have already proven themselves to be unreliable
It's deeper than that especially for black women. There are a lot of good men that don't even want a black woman, not even a good black woman. Society also pushes the idea that black women have the least worth.
This has always been an interesting trend. Even among successful women who don’t have celebrity status. The successful woman + homosexual trope. lol
Literally!!! Like at least date someone on your level or has the potential to do good
I love how baby mama or baby daddy instantly imply you’re not even in a relationship nevermind married, but you have a kid! Why?! How!?
lots of these girls really think it's cute to go through all of the pain of childbirth just to have a child they will neglect which can lead their child to become a rebel and end up dead or behind bars
and if they’re a girl they’ll more than likely repeat the cycle 🔁
Real. Parenting quality matters so much. EVERY SINGLE THING a parent does affects who their child will grow up to be. Everything a child sees and experiences will shape them into who they are as an adult including the tiniest little things and one bad parent can lead to future generational abuse and neglect.
It needs to still be taboo. Baby mama/baby daddy culture is disgusting, demeaning, and just causes chaos for the kid even if the parents are civil toward one another. Kids deserve better.
I agree, if 2 people can’t take each other seriously enough to marry each other before having a child, they are already doing that child a disservice. People seriously have kids SO flippantly because it’s normalized now to have children out of wedlock. Our next generation of kids absolutely deserves better.
my experience is it's usually the man who doesn't want to commit, and the woman goes along and stays with him because of sunk cost fallacy. it's sad, especially since women almost all the blame when they "can't keep a family together"
What is sunk cost fallacy?
@@BubbleWrapAndCupcakewhen a person believes that since they have spent too much time/effort or money into something, it’s too late to leave it. They believe there’s no going back since they’ve put all this effort into it. Which is obviously not true you can still get out but some women believe you can’t.
Sometimes it doesn’t even get far enough to develop a sunk cost fallacy. A lot of women are also getting pregnant by either complete strangers, fwb (after club booty calls) and proceeding into full term pregnancy or are getting pregnant by guys they’ve known for under 150 day time frames (aka strangers). This is pure desperation, lack of foresight, honey moon phase gone sour and other words I honestly can’t type on YT.
@@desdior1207 this is what i deadass don't get like you had so many opportunities to run and instead you chose this dude who you've known for 5 months. like you can't blame the world for this one that's on you
That's true but why would you have a child with a man that couldn't even commit to you?? If he won't commit to you then why on God earth would he suddenly commit to the baby? It's sad that women get all the blame but they're not entirely innocent since it a man and a woman to create a child.
I work in a bridal store and the majority of our brides have children already. Many children are toddlers or older and I can’t help but think that this marriage wouldn’t be happening without the child. On the flip side, we also sell suits and many of the grooms complain about having to go through a wedding since they already have a child. These guys don’t want to lock it down, and these brides deserve more.
I’ll never forget the sister-in-law to be saying she wanted to have a look at dresses while the bride was trying them on, saying “we’ve been together 11 years and I’ve given him 3 children, so a ring should be coming someday”. Poor girl.
@@CG00_ kids aren’t hard to have that is why, marriage is joining two debts together, legally. You get less benefits while married as a woman also, That takes alot of thinking and weddings are expensive. I’m not talking courthouse, I’m talking wedding ceremonies nobody just wants to rushing to be legally binded to someone who you never know for sure is going to always be the same person they were yesterday. Your child will always be your child. It’s a different type of love.
Damn😢
I’m Indian and it’s something rare in the Asian culture or I can say forbidden,
kids out of wedlock. I got the cultural shock when I see women being so proud birthing kids like that. I’m not implying my culture is superior or the correct one but it was shocking when I learned it for the first time.
Honestly for what the subject is, I think it shouldn’t be controversial to consider this kind of behavior negative. Overall it negatively affects the children. Not to say all kids have a great life due to parents being married, but it’s undeniably a better outcome for the kid. Being a “baby mama” shouldn’t be seen as a goal, or something to celebrate.
Lmao so true...if something like this happened in bollywood..the media/fans will not let it go😂
But isn’t r*pe culture big in India?
Same here in Africa even your own relatives will disown you
I feel as this is only normalized in western / European countries
Stats literally prove that kids do the best under two parent, married homes.
I haven't even dated yet, but I know for a fact that I'm not giving it up to just anyone. This person has to not only be husband material but father material. We dont have to want children, but he needs to ready for anything. (I wouldn't want a child if I'm not ready but if something happens we need to be on the same wave length) Im a suburbs black girl too so TRUST my parents dont condone anything less than someone whose gonna be able to lift me up and me do the same for him.
I agree with you. Hope and pray they are on the same page and such, we don’t have to have children, but sticking up for each other is ideal🙏🏾
i completely agree, no man in this universe can baby trap me to feel powerful like no
The same thing I'm doing.
I'll keep myself until I meet a man worthy of being a father and a husband.
and you're so real for that
I'm also a suburban black girl however my mom was GHETTOOOOO to a T and low key jealous of me ☠️ So glad I never followed in her footsteps
10:11 No. The fear of commitment excuse is BULLSHIT. Having a child with someone else will forever lock you with that someone regardless of everything. At least with marriage, you can divorce someone and never be in contact with them.
Us women need to do better, we can't have our ancestors fighting for us being able to vote yet we out here popping babies for men who we can't even call husband 😩
YO, FACTS 💯💯💯
I’m 31 and I will NEVER have be a baby mama. I have a sister younger than me struggling with one child. He is currently incarcerated LADIES…don’t do it..I’m never having kids..not worth it..
Yurkie yurkie? 😭😭😭 I'm not taking no one with that nickname seriously
😅😭BRO
I seriously cannot believe it!!!!!!!!! And he tries to gang bang and be hard 😂😂😂
Like…..😭
baby momma being "empowering" is insane
The average individual understands that having a kid is a bigger commitment than marriage because we experience the “burdens” or expenses/costs to have a kid to the fullest extent (financial responsibilities, childcare, etc.) while celebrities at least have the option (which provides a lot of relief) to alleviate a lot of the burden/costs.
Fr I hate this so much, being a independent single momma is so hyped these days. And I always tought it was possible to do until I had a single mom friend, I also slept a day at her home. And im telling you it's so hard to be a single mom thats it's near impossible. They never tell how dependend you become on your man while pregnant, and being dependent isnt that bad, because everyone is dependent on someone that's how life works. When your young you depend on your parents, then husband and then kids and that's completely normal. I do get that these people can be toxic and manipulate their power, but that is not a normal situation. And when your pregnant you become dependent on your husband they never tell how sometimes you cant even stand up by yourself, or how you can't close the zip of your pants, carry heavy groceries, cook because of nausea, can't drive. You can't even sleep for a few hours because who is gonna watch your baby? And no matter how tired you are (like studying during exams tired) but you can't sleep because you have to feed the baby, wash its clothes, make the baby stop crying) but your literally to the point to blackout from sleep. And also a child not only needs it's mom it also needs it's dad, ask anyone with happy married parents they will tell you how important the dad also is. They only show young girls how cute it is to dress your little one and to take cute pictures. And when your young you undermind everything. I find this whole topic so dangerous.
It always sounds disgusting to call a woman a baby momma like all she has ever done in her entire life was have a child.
Fr its so like objectifying ? Or reducing them to js a single role
10:00 but they got money for a whole ass human being and they can commit to having a forever attachment to them through a child 😭😭😭
Literally its bizarre lol
9:50 They feel like they don’t have enough money for a wedding, but they feel like they can afford a child??? And they don’t want to commit to one person by marry that then, but they don’t feel like they commit when they have a child with that person????
@@wilmaeriksson3518 you commit to the child… that is of your blood (family), not the person.. that you may no longer make a good partner with. Being someone’s child and being someone’s life partner are two different things
i could be wrong but i feel like maybe (in some situations) they meant like not enough for both??
idk
A marriage has NOTHING to do with a child, jsut because you don’t wanna marry don’t mean you can’t afford to raise a child, theres people like me, who was raised by my mother herself, yes my father was there, but to take care of me, but were they together? No, did I see every day? No.
People acting like a courthouse wedding isn't a thing
i truly believe that they think a baby is "a baby" but not "oh, thats a human and spirit who might get affected by my choices and affect them mentally to be either bad or good and i should be responsible and GOD FORBID taking it seriously!".
Basically they see babies like a pet smh
@@Roman-bw2fo dude i swear mfs put less thought into having kids than i put into choosing an outfit
I’m a Gen Xer and I remember going to the club every weekend and there was a song that just said THATS JUST MY BABY DADDY. Over and over. This was in the late 90s. First time I heard it I cringed 🫢
Oh wow
Programming
sexy red b4 sr
@@tsunsando9070 FRRR
I have nothing against baby mamas and single mamas. What I've noticed is that they're almost always very young. Some literally straight from high school.
I think people completely forgot about skai jackson doxxing a 13 year old kid (he kinda had it coming but still was a kid and doxxing is illegal) and her creating an illegal lottery scam (the laptop raffle where you had to buy tickects to enter)
She has been a trainwreck for years so I’m not surprised she ended up like that
real like shes been doing weird stuff for a while
I don't like it, i would give birth only in marriage.
I don’t understand how as a woman is a good thing to be considered a baby mama
It’s interesting so many people base their relationships on whether someone has grills and stuff. It’s not abt that it’s abt a persons character.
Young women seeing the trend of ‘baby mamas’ take away the message that if celebrities are doing it, it can’t be that bad. I think the reason that the reason Kylie Jenner gets brought up less than Keke, Skai, and Halle is because nobody’s ever really wanted her to be a role model for little girls. No hate, but the same goes for Sexxy Red-what woman wants her loved ones to idolize her? But the others are talented young black women at the HEIGHT of promising careers making the incredibly blockheaded decision to have children without the promise of fidelity or support from the fathers. And it would be one thing if we were seeing long-term commitment even without marriage (think Goldie Hahn and Kurt Russel)- but all of these ladies seem determined to have children with absolute clowns who have no regard for them, dump them, and then humiliate them on social media.
This^^^ These three women are outstandingly talented, respected, and have the potential to rise through the ranks at an extraordinary level. Not that they still can’t, but it’ll be a heavy challenge now and especially with partners who won’t support them or carry their weight in parenthood. The general public doesn’t care about what Kylie does, and she already has success handed to her anyway. Many people aren’t rooting for her to make a name for herself like Halle, Keke, and Skai. So I think it’s a great point to be made that it’s not so much about these women’s race - It’s just that much of their potential will be sacrificed for men who won’t be worth it in the long run.
10000% it's so idiotic thinking that you can have a full on family even though they don't even have homes and the income for one kid
We need to also hold men accountable, especially black men, most of this women were made baby mamas by one, even the non black ones(kylie, Khloe, danileigh the yellow bone 😂lol)
Yellow bone who ?
Foreal it is so normalized amound black men to ! No sexual discipline at all ! I was friend with a dude that was saying he wanted kids and said was ready at 19 but when i asked him a few years after about marriage he got mad and said marriage is too much. Got mad when i wanted him to explain the logic of that ... They are lost and just repeat the patern around them without a single thought. They are filming videos saying they can just leave the baby but can't leave a marriage like WHAT THE FUCK and some ladies are falling for that ? TAKE THE PILL LADY AT THE VERY LEAST TAKE THE PILL !!!
It’s probably a cultural difference but in NZ it’s the white men who have a kid then ditch their partner. I feel like it could be similar in America only black people always have a crazy critical spotlight on them and white people are assumed to be capable and prepared for family shit, even when so damn many aren’t. Men absolutely needa be held more accountable, especially the white men who always slide under the radar
I don't know what people expected when skai's wedlock pregnancy was announced. I'm 21 now and all these fatherless, marriageless, surprise pregnancies are so annoying and unattractive. I grew up in a two-parent household and I'll be damned if my child doesn't.
Im not even american but in my country people have kids outside of marriged too. And thats crazy babys deserve a good unit family 😢
Finally you've posted. Thank you for making your videos with quality rather than just masspumping out content
35:44 That's is the problem with our culture. Our women seek the thrill of mischief and danger just to come to the realization 4 kids and 3 baby daddies in that I should of sought after a "good" man. And following these influencers do NOT help because they are negative role models in young women's lives. Can we stop living to this stereotype?
Sexyy Red getting pregnant was ngl ridiculous.. in my opinion shes not wife material and idk how she raises her children or how she treats them but to me i feel like she's not a great role model for any generation..
She's didn't ask to be a role model tew 🥴(i don't go by her side)
@@Melinanextdoor artists, actors, or athletes are most of these younger kids' role models, whether they like it or not. Yes, they didn't ask to be one, but that comes with the territory once you become famous and mainstream.
@@josenitehonorat4393 👍👍
@@Melinanextdoorshe trespassed at a high school and twerked in front of underage students. That's the group she targets.
@@josenitehonorat4393 it's on the parents of said kids to monitor and guide their kids, and show what's good or not. Someone who outs out music or is famous isn't responsible for your kids - that's on you. Learn how to raise them bc the world won't.
I like the idea of motherhood... But to raise a child with someone who doesnt wanna commit fully to the family... Damn.. Imagine telling that to little Timmy
"daddy dont wanna be here cause he busy with other bches"
There is literally a 14 year old pregnant CHILD on tiktok doing get ready with mes
Omg that is horrible poor babies
@@UyaiUdoka this generation is doom😭😨
Who ?
@@Myatloves23it’s always been like this hun
I wish they would ban under 18 and id for social media same as a bank account.
I love how with every new video, NK makes sure the quality gets better and better and better. We notice your work, dedication and commitment to growth girl, such an inspo!
It’s awful, but we all know it was intended for a specific demographic of women. But now, being as though being “urban” is more acceptable they’ll occasionally apply it to those that are considered “urban” ie Kim K and nem. It makes me sick to hear that word applied to a woman who sacrificed her body, mental health, and life to give life to a child. We suck as a society.
I wish our community wasn’t so judgmental of the baby momma because the mom is the one stepping up and taking care of her child and everything else on her own. The dad abandoned all of his responsibilities, yet doesn’t receive enough flak about choosing not to be there and sometimes not providing any financial or physical help.
the dads are literally gaining approval from this behaviour is the extra heinous thing; that sowing your wild oats tradition is far from in the past. and notice a guy with a kid is considered attractive while a woman with a kid is tacky or whatever
@ oh yes so true! The man’s reputation is not usually tarnished one bit. Hopefully that changes, but men will have to hold each other accountable, and women will have to stop thinking these are good fathers just because they posted their son one time.
Its true!!! However we as women hold the power to choose better. Why are we risking our lives on hospital bed birthing a man child who does not love, respect, value, appreciate, and are committed to us? You should think SO HIGHLY of yourself a man will have to go through hoops and hurdles, vetting, confirmation through God, marriage , time, and consistency too see if he measures up to your level of procreating with. We need to choose better period no matter how long it take. There are women out here so desperate they are willingly creating broken homes via baby mama hood, and IVF. Kids need two parents period it’s not just about the woman, or the man’s feelings. Believe I know from personal experience a man will purposely try to impregnate a woman at her prime to lock her down so another man won’t want her, or make her dating life more challenging. They do it on purpose. So with that knowledge we know how horrible a man can be why would we willingly choose to suffer?
@@ishaw9894 Well said! It really does start with knowing our self worth.Our community has had a confidence issue ever since the chains. Once we see our worth we will stop making silly life changing decisions, and we will choose better partners. It’s taking a long time, but I am noticing that our community is improving. We are breaking more generational curses by learning from others mistakes and correcting ourselves. Also we need more men in the community to step up and be an uncle/role model for the kids who do not have a father in their life. Especially from the churches. As you said, a child needs both parents.
@@ishaw9894 Nobody forced them to keep the fetus before it became a baby, yet everyone is supposed to sympathize with their struggles. Make it make sense, having a baby out of wedlock is a CHOICE.
I just discovered your channel and I freaking love the concept. All the instagram poll to see different opinions, it’s so cool to see how willing you are to see other perspectives
And omg I'm so scared because I want to get married so bad and I just feel like it's not even normal anymore?? Like so many grandmothers and NO mothers in law?? Why do these men love having children with multiple women but want nothing to do with stability?!
because they have a breeding k1nk which is very disturbing to me
because they just wanna have sex. men think with their dicks and thats it
Finding a man with no kids to share that experience with as husband and wife for the 1st time together nowadays is difficult. But somehow single moms keep a man with no kids!!
I got so much crap and sometimes still do for refusing to have sex outside of marriage. Hell no! I’m not risking in any capacity having a child outside of wedlock! My husband and I have been married five years and just had our first child! My son has a present, loving, and attentive father that I can’t believe is so wonderful! I get not wanting to marry if there’s no plans for kids, but don’t ever have kids without being married (at least in the US). It’s an insanely big gamble that’s most likely to bite you in the butt. At least with marriage if homeboy peaces out you’re not only entitled to child support but spousal support if needed.
feel like the baby daddy's are not getting the same level of judgement here 🤔
Because they can leave the moment they impregnate the women and being away from it gives them the ability to NOT be associated with the child 24/7. Women have no choice but to be asspciated as they go through pregnancy, delivery etc.
If there was a law that made it mandatory to stay in public eye after creating that poor child, man would man up real fast
Women are the gatekeepers and easiest to get through to.
Baby daddy get judgement ALL the time. Why is difficult for women to not accept responsibility? I'm tired of women acting like they don't have control over their own bodies.
@lisacox5405 it's simply not on the same level, i'm sorry. if a woman doesn't want to take care of her child, she's considered not just heartless but pathologically fucked up and/or evil. if a man doesn't want to take care of his child, he gets labelled irresponsible or young and foolish or not ready, long before any of the evil/heartless/fucked up assessments come up. if they ever do.
@@lisacox5405 Right! Plan B is a pill that exists. Abortions exist. Have some fucking self respect!
Flo milli's pregnancy hit me the hardest because it goes against her rap persona
FLO MILI IS PREGNANT??!!
Didn't she claim she was bloated or something?
@@cherie..cherryyes
@@cottoncandydaydreamshe lied
i lost all respect i had for her and i really liked her very sad...
I hate the terms and bbm and bbd.
Nick Cannon of the most famous bbds just admitted he is diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
He’s just irresponsible like most blk men its nothing new
honestly them being narcissists explains A LOT
I think there are multiple reasons (naturally):
- Celebrities doing it even though they can afford it.
- Rap and RnB music (which are more mainstream than ever) romanticizing BMs
- "Women empowerment" / "dont need no man" type attitude gone completely wrong
- The decline in the social importance of marriage
- Backlash from people growing up in toxic households with married parents
- People who were raised by a single mom finally grew up and continued the cycle.
- It's easier to get divorced
- People don't date their significant other long enough before committing to an entire baby.
- Trapping men for money
- Carelessness
I took a “Black Family Studies” course in college and never looked at the word FAMILY the same. I grew up in the projects and unfortunately a lot of Black Women (just speaking for my community) have to raise their children on their own and it affects the kids! I’m a product of it. I’ve literally seen my cousin work two jobs to provide for my little cousins and the dad’s child support and was $75 for two kids a month…..
for me a baby is a much bigger commitment than marriage. I don't understand their logic with fear of commitment by not getting married but having many babies
I just don’t understand why Americans don’t use protection
You see, most Americans do use protection but it’s not 100% full proof. There is always a margin of error with contraceptives but that’s not the problem. I think it comes down to pressuring your partner not to use it. I knew girls who had to argue with their bf about condoms with arguments like “if to love me if doesn’t matter” or “it doesn’t feel good to wear a condom” or “You don’t trust that I’m clean?” These are very childish arguments but unfortunately it works on a lot of people.
Please. This is not just an American problem.
Why do none Americans keep judging us as a whole, instead of judging us based on the bad apples that goes viral that makes us "look bad" not everyone is like her and it's common in other countries to have teen pregnancies and young pregnancies for whatever the circumstances are.
Who said she wasn't using protection. She made a shifty choice in having a baby with this man.
@@KozeyLivingbecause America is the only place which glamorises and boasts on this fanatic
@capricornlayanna3828 but we don't, though we know that we're not the s***, like the average american citizen does not get the hype and all of us actually want to leave the country. You're proven my point, because not the average american thinks how the majority of people foreigners think that we think. Y'all are looking us all into one group. When the few people that get spread on the media does not represent the whole. We can't do anything about our government officials at all.We don't have the power. We know that our country is too divided, so we're gonna be f***** Either way, it goes because we will never be united
As a young man, I'm so glad that more young women are calling our culture out. Not to put ALL of the responsibility on women but being the "natural selectors" of our species does (typically) give women more of a say in whose genes get passed down.
I can't imagine what I would be like if my mother was a "baby mama" instead of a mother (a married one at that). I'm so grateful towards both of my parents for actively planning to have children before they had them. It really makes a world of difference. Thank you for this video!
Natural selectors????
@@kennedy2893 Yes? Genuine question. Is there something wrong with what I said? I wasn't trying to be rude but that is typically the role of the female (I say female in reference to the animal kingdom-not calling you an animal).
@@kennedy2893 I don't know why my original reply to you was deleted. Yes. Natural selectors. Is that wrong? Genuinely asking.
I know it’s just semantics but saying a baby mama isn’t a mother just feels wrong. They’re still moms, just of a specific circumstance
@@MISSMADISONMEDIA 100%. That's not the way I meant it. I meant it like a "anybody can be a father but not everybody can be a dad" type of way. Of course they're still mothers but like you said the circumstances are different.
We see Skai as being worth so much more. She doesn't. She sees herself worth what she is with. Same with Hallie Balle. We see their worth but they don't. Satan will use whatever will work to keep you stuck and away from the blessing God has for you. As you said ignorance is bliss. It's also deadly.
Honestly, people who claim to be afraid of committing to one person but are ok with having a kid scare me, because I feel like they're likely to prioritize their love life over their kid.
Interesting because I made the opposite conclusion. She wants a child to take care of above having some dude.
this isn't the first generation of "baby mama" culture. that was a thing when i was growing up too and I'm 45.
like my late grandmere always said "ain't nothing new under the sun"
I don't understand how more women don't understand that's not the flex they think it is. Multiple generations of "baby mamas" is not a good look! To know it's not a healthy thing to create that environment for a child and continue to repeat that cycle is crazy to me!
Thats really degrading for a woman, now it’s a trend in my country and it’s complicating getting child support because if your baby has your fathers last name he has more to say in burrocracy but if mothers you have to prove that it’s his child and but its easier to get into public childcare like kindergarten.
I couldnt live like that without stability
The marriage vs baby thing is like that because people often get into relationships based on very trivial details therefore marriage seems like a big commitment. If you view sex and relationships frivolously then in turn baby mama baby daddy is your accepted circumstance because it’s already thought of as an inevitable outcome. It’s already a normalized circumstance with little social deterrence because of our off course sexual liberation movement. We’re witnessing what happens when you get too free with your freedoms.
Kylie isn’t normally thought about in this not because she’s non black but because Travis Scott is extremely wealthy and successful even though he very much gives pookie vibes 😂 it’s only negative when one or both people are not considered respectable aka poor/unsuccessful
I think hook up culture in music is the biggest factor as to why people don’t get married anymore.
i believe theres a difference between having kid while being in a non marital COMMITED relationship or co-parenting parznership. than getting pregnant by a random/uncommited person who wants nothing to do with you/baby.
Nope 😂
I agree, a colleague of mine had a baby during lockdown so they had a toddler when their wedding happened after covid, they were already committed but wanted to wait until they could have the wedding they want but didnt want to wait to have a baby, they were in their mid thirties
Also seeing little kiddos in wedding pictures with their parents does touch my heart 🥹
@@KAye633why not? Not everyone needs to write a contract to promise commitment
yeah, there is a very big difference. I know people who've been together for almost a decade and are very content with not getting married because they know their relationship is long-term
If you're not ready to commit to one person, don't have a baby. Cose that's a commitment for ever.
As a French I don’t really understand. I don’t think you need to get married to birth a child. However, going to marry or not you should choose wisely your partner. I know people who get married, had a child and get divorced two years later because the husband is just a douche doing nothing for his family and in particular for the child. While I know a couple together for 30 years, not married and with three successful and balanced children.
I think it’s more how you choose your partner, is he someone trustworthy? responsible, respectful towards you and ready to create a family and support it? (And support it whatever happens for example a potential divorce etc.)
I think it counts more,marriage can end it’s not an immunity totem.
The idea isn't that someone should only have a child if they're married; it's that someone shouldn't have a baby JUST to keep a relationship. The only intention someone should have when having a child should be ensuring the safety and care of the child, not just using it as a cheap tactic to stay connected with careless men. These baby mamas, unfortunately, think having a man's baby is better than being married as if they don't have a literal human being's life in their hands. Caring for a baby has WAY more responsibilities than keeping a relationship or marriage.
@ i agree with your comment, worst thing to do, if someone wants to leave he will do it anyway child or not :)
There are way to many dumb girls out there throwing away their lives for dead beat men🤦🏽♀️ Stay safe out their ladies and stop procreating with these creatures please💀
Creatures 💀✋😭 LMAO
it's really cool to see hwo your content has improved, in it's quality video wise, editing and all it's always been a pleasure to watch but it's even more so now ❤️
To be fair, in the Movie Baby mama the whole premise was that Tina Fey's character couldn't get pregnant so she hired a surrogate mother. In the end, the surrogate was acctually pregnant with her husbands child and during this Tina meet a man, fell in love, and miraculously gets pregnant. Neither women were single moms by the end of the movie. So not a great name, but definitely not pushing the baby mama narrative.
Just saw the title and went; AMEN! Baby mommas are problematic
31:25 Yes I have been saying this everywhere!! We are allowed to have an opinion on these people lives because they shoves us into them. They invite us into their conversations, thoughts and love lives so we're going to give our thoughts, happiness or disgust over their choices.
42:27 using a Debby Ryan meme on a video about Skai Jackson is so 😂😂
Thank you for blurring out these babies' faces ❤ Great review. I was just talking about this and how it's quite sad that so many people no longer value the importance of strong family units and healthy family dynamics
being a baby mama on purpose is possibly the stupidest thing ive heard in a while.
The ppl that checked "Depends on the Context" is a Baby Mama/Baby Daddy. Ain't nothing cute about it. Ladies, protect your womb and work on your future, always.❤
There’s is no such thing as baby mama culture is just getting harder and harder to find men that are mature, and willing to commit. A lot of women are becoming childless/ low birth rates because of this problem.
I hate the concept of baby mamas. Like tf ladies yall deserve better
My thing is, why do a lot of these women choose the worst men to get them pregnant. It makes it look like they just have poor judgment and critical thinking skills in general.
I'm just here to here NK's deep dive on this particular topic ❤️🎀
Thank u, Hope u enjoy! Looking forward to your thoughts 🙏🏾
we love you nk we all say in unison
Yall play too much😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️❤️