As a woman who grew up in a Muslim country and family, the reason why women dont want to submit to their husbands is because we've seen how miserable our mothers were. It enforced this idea to the point that I had to grow up with boys who thought they were superior and actively reminded you everyday that god places you beneath men.
That's sad because in my family women are given more importance and men are expected to provide. As a Muslim woman my parents encouraged me to go to university so that I have a professional vocation to support my future, even if I don't work, also it means I can raise my family better. I want to pass the same values on to my daughters now
@@sshafiq543 see ? Now the culture is twisting even religious principles. I can't with humans lmao. In religion, the submission of the wife to her husband is the same as his to her, because the both of them are already submitting to Allah. That's literally the meaning of a muslim/muslima.
@@sshafiq543my parents encouraged me to go to university too. But as a girl with 3 male siblings, i was the only one expected to help out in the house by my entire muslim family. In my country, women go to university and are still expected to be stay at home moms and house wives, not working
True. My mom wasn't allowed to ride a bicycle or play like her siblings. I was never allowed to travel outside my city or stay up late with friends while my male siblings were always allowed to
I was stalked by a man for over five years. I went to my friend's church recently and guess who was there claiming to have found God. My stalker! When I told my friend about him she was shocked becuase this guy was always at the church doing chores to help out. Mainly fixing things. He came up to me and tried to act friendly. I was terrified. He tried to get me to go out for a drink with him afterwards. I have not returned to that church. My friend and her husband have since said he has been asking about me non stop and trying to get them to get me to go back. DO NOT trust everyone you meet at churches and holy places. Evil people pray within them becuase religion is founded on caring and forgiveness for all. This man was known to police and is on psychiatric drugs. He had a history of pestering women and going right up to the legal line but never so far over it that I was able to ask the police to give me a restraining order. He often hid behind social media profiles. He used Machiavellian tactics to try to get me to meet up with him. He used to be my mechanic! Trust you gut ladies. If something tells you a person if off -- they very likely are.
That "caring and forgiveness for all" usually rewards abusers with forgiveness and acceptance while ignoring and invalidating the feelings of the victims.
I genuinely fear this. I have a stalker and am afraid he will just show up to church one day. Not only am I afraid of this, I am also afraid that others in the church will pull out the, "well maybe he's changed, he's come to God now, etc.," because I wouldn't believe for a moment that he was there for any other reason beyond access to me.
Was talking to a Muslim guy and he told me he’d become more religious when he got older but for now he’s just living life 😂 I had to scoff at that statement
It reminds me of the tradition in the Amish community, where young men are allowed to live in the outside world for about a year and try evetything which is forbidden among the Amish ( alcohol, clubbing, extramarital relationships with "American" girls as they call them). Then they can decide whether to stay among the Amish or not (the vast majority prefers to stay because family connections, finances etc). Amish girls, at the same time, are never allowed to try "outside world" experiences.
funny this is, If you're a muslim woman, You'll be fully shunned by the same men saying this Even tho the Quran is veeeeery clear about it. Same punishment' for both
The fact that so many young men really want to dominate women is terrifying. We had a few years of moving forward, and now we're going backwards again. Im not usually a fan of reality TV, but it seens like this show is helping some of the women stuck in terrible circumstances.
I love my boyfriend, and I told him if we ever broke up, because I swing both ways, I told him I would not date another man. The risk of a bad man is too high
Because she thought she would be living the high life. Truthfully she should get divorced before he finishes his medical school because he will divorce her and she will the shunned by the church....similar to Heather on real housewives of salt Lake city.
Yeah, if it’s family wanted him to be a doctor, they should have told him he’s not allowed to start a family while they’re supporting him through school.
most men turn to religion when they get older because it’s when they have lived their lives and now want to reap the benefits without actually abiding to the rules.
@@devonjames9 The point of a loving relationship is intimacy, emotional trust, and companionship. No where can I find any definition of relationship where need is used. The point is two people who have chemistry decide to build a family, love and respect each other and extend their legacy through children and later grand children.
Like Ella says in the last video we put relationship in a high level that shouldn’t be putting it cuz they’re so much other ways to created meaningful connections ❤
When I still attended church, women did the lions share of the work. Weekly Potlucks, children's church, VBS, landscaping, greeting, visiting the sick, bringing meals, moms groups, decorating for holidays, organizing carolers, so much work! All for free. The community we created was wonderful, knowing it was taken for granted and the men didn't really respect us was too much to take.
It reminds me of a piece from the Irish show Father Ted, when father Ted and father Doughal watch the interview of a feminist, feeling annoyed of her statement that Irish Catholic Church mistreats women. After switching off the TV Ted and Doughal started to prove themselves that Catholic women are so respected, while their housekeeper Ms.Doyle was doing all the hardest and dirtiest jobs around the house, carrying all the heavy buckets without any help.
@gimmekromer1151 It's about finding a connection to the divine in a community setting. Religion is both social and spiritual. If you have not had a spiritual experience, you may not understand how beautiful it is to share that experience with a community of like-minded people.
He will likely cheat on her and manage to hide it cause every time she gets suspicious, he'll gaslight her. She'll be too busy with kids and everything else to put more effort into finding out his discrepancuea until she ends up with an STD. I say this because I was Mormon and I grew up in that cult. My hubby and I of course left. They were "sealed in the temple". She can't undo her spiritual marriage without permission from church headquarters. Not if he cheated was abusive or even in death. They believe their temple marriage connects them to their extended family. They believe if someone leaves, you are screwing up not just your own salvation but that of your spouses, kids, further posterity and possibly even your parents and their parents. So they'll stick around in a miserable marriage most likely 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
recently dated a man who lied to me about being single. his wife converted to mormonism for him and supported him for years as he finished up med school. technically she paid for our dates and the car he picked me up in. the audacity of this man was unparalelled and i pray for her all the time.
As a Muslim women… the amount of times I have heard men growing up as boys who did everything “haram” as possible but then all of a sudden grow as “men” and start to take religion srsly by controlling OTHER women and trying to dictate what they should wear, how they should act, behave pisses me tf off
There are some male Muslim students from other countries and they act like it doesn't count here, they go drinking, don't commit to Ramadan etc. It's all rules for thee but not for me with these "religious" men.
“Patriarchy is sin.” Elle. ELLE!!! You don’t know what this channel means to me!!! I grew up in the south and this “God is a woman” series is healing me. Love your work more and more as you grow! Congrats on creeping up on a QUARTER OF A MILLION followers queen!!!
I love her so much! Everytime a video of hers comes up, I’m so excited about what rabbit hole I’m about to dive down. I’ve had such a strange relationship with religion, being raised Roman Catholic and all. She always plugs into something interesting. Can’t wait to go dig more into this topic! Loving the book rec❤
Marriage has been romanticized so much by misogynists and "trad wives" that some women are deluded enough to think that the fact that they got married alone will make the husband not cheat or leave her or disrespect her or always protect and provide for her or that their relationship is better/more important than others. In 2024 we shouldn't be thinking of marriage as a security bcs men have proven they don't respect their vows. If there is true love and everything else that comes with it a relationship is gonna last forever.
Because intelligence means ability to raise questions and whatever we women are following in our life is out of men desire not out of a reasonable reason
“The male crisis” has now added religion to their failings, what could go wrong ?? I love how women are leaving bc they said men & women aren’t treated equally & men said “I’m there !”😂. They want to go to a place where women are treated less than. That’s so predatory.
I have heard a story about a recent men pastor that was raping women because he believed that it was the ways to ways repeated and coming back to God .
Girl , i hope you can have great life sis.... I relate to this ,my father also always indoctrinate us daughters and sons about a woman should nurture and homemaking, it's destined,predestined and how man have it different that they're provider and destiny maker BS. He did provide school but mind you we daughter prioritized to should help making home. Crazy. He controlled our friend and even our outings and wherever i went i need to call or inform or gave GPS (when smartphone was first gaving GPS function) I was soooooo glad i went against them girl. I was out for ±15 years. I was soooo pushover , ppl pleaser kind of pickme filial wannabe best daughter . So crazy how it took 1 line of BS sexist talk trigger lots of changes. If i didn't went against them i would be married uneducated with 3 child and enslaved with no pennies and keep being insulted and humiliated while getting exploited by my families,sibs (my brothers all black pill patriarchy sonovabirch) , bad friends,husband and in laws bc your mindset affect whom you choose as your close circle social network.
That tiktoker ate on calling out churches for all their misogyny. I think another thing that should be noted about matriarchy is that unlike men, women always know their offspring are theirs. In patriarchy a man needs to control a woman's body to make legitimate heirs. A woman doesn't need to control a man's body in the same way to insure inheritance so inherently patriarchy would involve controlling women's bodies in a way matriarchy wouldn't.
Wow what a great point! Like I’m glad Elle brought up matriarchy bc I would struggle with explaining *why* it’s different from patriarchy. The how is much more obvious, but the men who criticize it so hard, similarly to white supremacists afraid of “great replacement”, project their fears onto everyone else. So they stop at where their imagination takes them - to them, in a largely matriarchal society, women would subjugate and oppress them as they have been doing to us all these millennia. They talk about biological nature so much to justify their horrific behaviors, but can’t imagine how biology on our end might make that same nature of theirs nonsensical to a thriving matriarchy, in ways it allows patriarchy to succeed. Thanks for this I’m gonna use this next time I choose to suffer this topic lol
This is CRUCIAL. This is like why marriage became so important when people started living in a settled place and passing down land ownership. Suddenly it became very important to know what sperm created what baby
not wanting her to cheat= controlling her body? can you elaborate a little bit cause all I'm hearing is you thinks its wrong for your man to not want you to sleep with other men while you're with him ( ensuring paternity) and that you think its controlling for him not to want you to do that. Its giving 304.
@@andrewmath7719 not wanting her to cheat and actively prohibiting her from any activity outside the home, keeping her under your watchful eye, are two very different things
It really is, though, when you think about. Things like casual sex are encouraged in patriarchal ideals, something that most Abrahamic religions are against. Same with drugs, alcohol, and unnecessary violence. All things that the patriarchy adores, all things that most Abrahamic religions say are a no-no.
damn imagine having a bum ass husband who you're literally feeding and providing for that is treating you like shit and he is telling you what to do but isn't doing anything for you in return
That’s on them. These women have to get a backbone at some point. I understand it’s the way some of them were raised. A lot of us were raised in the church to do this too, but had the mind to go a separate way.
I grew up in Utah with Mormon extended family as a non-Mormon girl. I was told MY ENTIRE LIFE by the culture around me that my only worth and value was being a subservient woman who has babies. Women here are high achieving but always think about how their skills and intelligence will benefit their husbands and kids. Women are encouraged to achieve and be smart but only for the sake of helping their husbands and sons succeed. Utah Mormon culture is all about gaining skills and knowledge so their men don’t have to think too hard. Moving away from Utah has been the most empowering move I’ve ever made because I get to keep and use my skills and education for myself.
Really? huh I was raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints and I have so many unmarried female friends who are strong in the church. This church has helped me in so many ways.
Same. I can't even tell you how many times growing up that I was told not to get an education because I wouldn't need it, and it would delay marriage and family if I pursued it. The Mormon church sees women as breeders and servants. Nothing more. So glad I got out.
@@chelseashurmantine8153 Reminds me of my uncle who talked crap about his wife's job, while sitting in her own car, purchased off the money she earned from her job for "stupid people". (They weren't religious though)
"Patriarchy is sin" is my new motto. I literally bought this book while watching this video so that I can give it to a friend is who struggling with this exact concept. Thank you for expanding my repertoire of inspirational and educational literature for women.
It’s interesting seeing atleast from Christianity how soooo many people make a big deal out of marriage when Jesus himself didn’t even get married or have kids. 🤔
Even Paul said its better to be single than married, yet Christian men still whine about single 30s “cat ladies” and push girls and barely adult women to marry young.
Crazy how ANY community that wants to perpetuate itself would have opinions about marriage and forming families. You don't have to get married if you don't want to, but come on now. 😂
All of these men going to church and it’s still impossible to find a Christian man to date who holds the values of compassion, generosity, kindness, forgiveness, grace, temperance, honesty, and fidelity in the way that is described in the Bible and exemplified by Jesus for men to do. But bet that these are the expectations still held for women that they want to date/marry and more.
I love to remember that Jesus never left writing even if he could . That also means that maybe they even twisted some of his words . A historian told me that Jesus has never used the terminology sin cuz he wasn’t there to judge or to discriminate people. In the Bible, a lot of beautiful story about people just needed to be forgiven from a society that was made to judge or rebuke them .
These fake Christians are just looking to predate upon naive religious women, and the church heads will help them, because they value a predatory male more than a saintly woman. If they had any respect for their followers they would be protecting them from predators.
The problem with Christians, and I'm Christian, is that they hear without listening and don't understand that it was written at a time when women had very few options to provide for themselves without a man. Jesus would approve of women being celibate; focusing on her relationship with Jesus and not on worldly things like trying to get a husband. It even states in the Bible that it’s better to remain unmarried because you can't serve two masters. Single women have more time to do good work in the world and what better way to stop evil men from reproducing than by a woman not trying to get married and have children? There are plenty of children in the world who need help and an independent woman has the resources to help.
When I was reading the biography of St.Genevieve of Paris, I've got the impression that early Christian Saints didn't have the hierarchy like modern priests, nuns and monks. St.Genevieve was an early nun, but she didn't have to live in the abbey or making any private confessions to the priest. Many nuns of the time lived in their regular properties (often with their parents) and focused on prayers and Gospel learning on their own. Also, nuns of that time period didn't have to wear black robes, but only had to wear a special type of a head covering that would differentiate them from other women. St.Genevieve even kept the land she inherited from her family and had the right to keep her money, unlike later nuns who joined the abbeys and had to donate their inheritance to the abbey. Living in the abbey created dangerous situations, because male clergy and male nobility were allowed to be inside the building. Once there was a Pope accused of impregnating a nun and a King of Portugal who basically turned the local abbey into his personal harem.
Another issue is the picking and choosing. The Bible says that single women and people without children are the happiest and even has stories of women having their own business (proverbs 31), but traditional people want to act like these parts don’t exist.
Heaving on the picking and choosing, because man will literally pick and choose verse to twist and benefit themselves e.g slavery, misogyny, and other forms of hate @@tiahnarodriguez3809
The fact that he wants her to give up literally everything just so he can do med school in NY is insane. My boyfriend is pre-med, and he specifically chose to stay in-state for university so that I could go to the school that I wanted to attend and he could still be close to me. He gave up many opportunities because being close to me was more important. I'm his first priority. Every woman deserves a man like that.
That is wonderful! I grew up mormon. I sorta just know I will never have that. Normal healthy men aren't attracted to the religious trauma and it is a part of me that will take a lifetime to heal. Put in a lot of mormon women have 4 plus kids by 30 and a lot of them realize they will never find a partner that will respect them or love them so they stay.
I've been a part of a lot of atheist/ex christian communities and forums and there's a common saying "women leave the church to leave oppression behind, men leave the church to avoid consequences" Many atheist men will say hell is their biggest theological problem. Women often talk about the daughters of Lot.
Face consequences? They run to or away from church to not face consequences. I just wish Christians (I'll speak of them as I'm part of the community, solely because I'm a fan of Christ) too accountability as serious as they did with forgiveness. In that way many would've have to be manipulated into allowing such behaviors a pass.
Jen's story really hit home for me because it made me think of our housemaid. Her husband is unemployed and a heavy drinker, and she has three kids (two girls and a boy) to take care of. She works at 10 different homes every single day just to support them, but when she gets home, her husband beats her. She was forced into marriage at 13, even though the legal age in India is 18. I once asked my dad why she doesn’t try to get help or take legal action. He told me that her family would probably throw her out, the community would reject her and her kids, and the police would just ignore her because she’s poor. It’s heartbreaking.
In the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints my religion, if you abuse your family, any member, you have to answer to God for that and you aren't worthy of participating in Sacred religious things. we also are taught not to even date until we are 16 years old we are also taught to be well educated and self sufficient.
@Hi-jw7oq I know you're trying to bring in positives to your religion, which is questionable to say the least, but I have not only watched multiple shows, documentaries, and real life people who have escaped this religion. The religion is teaching people terrible lessons. The abuse the church allows of both women and children is disgusting. You really need to educate yourself on the dark side of your religion and tell yourself the truth about it.
@@Hi-jw7oq If God was enough, we wouldn't need all the laws to protect people from theft and m#rder... Simple claiming your faith provides protection to women and children and writing it in a piece of paper can't ensure their safety... They have to have enough autonomy to take action themselves, if things go south... Giving them financial independence is the only way to ensure that.. If your faith isn't providing that, it's a dead deal...
@wnysjournal Same here, our family have had multiple maids in past 20 years, and I live in a muslim majority area, almost all of the muslim maids had abusive husbands, they used to drink and be unemployed...it was mostly the women being breadwinner...
What is so ironic to me is that the religious situation is the opposite in India. Many men are leaving their religion (Hinduism) and adopting Abrahamic religions while many women are starting to increasingly embrace their culture. I think it is probably due to the fact that the gods of wealth, knowledge, power, and war are female while the gods of destruction, preservation, and creation are male. Most of the Indian gods are worshipped with their wife's name and to show loyalty to them you have to first take permission from their female counterparts. Even one of the most famous and worshipped female god i.e. Parvati has 9 forms i.e. Skandamata (mother), Katyayani (warrior), Shailputri (daughter), Chandragantha (protector), Kalaratri (ferocious), Gauri (beauty), bramhacharini (spiritual), Kushamanda (strength), Siddhidatri (feminine half of ultimate god). Right now, the festival Navratri is going on to celebrate these 9 forms of the goddess. It is the most famous festival in India after Diwali.
Many Christian missionary groups also are fooling people in the rural areas and giving them incentives to leave Hinduism . I really don't know what people see in Abrahamic religions. Hinduism is in its core a balance of the masculine and feminine. Our Gods are incomplete without Goddesses. The very word for power in Sanskrit is Shakti(Divine Mother)
@@wnysjournal My favourite Hindu Goddess is Sarasvati 👸 She is feminine but conscious, self-aware, rational and possesses knowledge. I think Elle and the besties represent Sarasvati here as we wish to liberate our conscious from false narratives and develop our own knowledge of life. Jai Kali Mata Jai Mata Durga and Adi Shakti mantras are also very powerful if you listen to them. However, the Lakshmi part of the Divine Feminine, that pure innocence, femininity and generosity has been exploited by men too much throughout history.
according to faith, men only need to follow god, while women have to follow their husbands and other men in their life. Speaking from experience, following God is much more lenient and open to interpretation than following men
@@maslnaa it’s not even necessarily that it’s “more open to interpretation”, it’s that we’re no longer subject to their interpretation that is typically what dishes out such stringent rules that aren’t even mentioned in the Bible. Because now God is there for you to have a relationship with, not a tool to be used against you.
I don't think yall understand God is still a man. He was created by a man, and what he requires you to do might as well be the same as being told what to do by a random man. Bcs God is a disguise for men to be worshiped.
You hit the nail on the head when you brought up how these women question if they’re enough, but the husbands don’t worry about the same. I lived with a paternal figure who was LDS from ages 8 to 11. I remember being baptized in the Mormon church at 8, and being told by missionaries that I was now old enough to go to hell if I died and that’s why I needed to be baptized, and was also told by this paternal figure and members of the church that I would be able to get married at 14 or 15, and my husband would likely be in his 30s, so that I could start having children as soon as possible and beggin my journey as a wife…I know now that’s illegal lol but at 8 years old is was pretty scary. There were some things I loved about the church as a kid, but mostly it was a jarring experience that left me with some trauma. Not to mention most Mormons where I’m from, are racist asf. I’m really glad I was able to get out of that situation by the time I reached middle school. I witnessed and experienced a lot of abuse and grooming. It really messed with my head.
I’m so sorry you went through that. It’s so crazy that we’re out here living “true crime” lives like it’s normal. I’m so glad that so many more people are talking about the truth. It’s so important for people to know that they are not crazy and that they can leave these bad situations. Sometimes it helps to just remember that it’s a whole scam and we legit don’t even have to be part of it. I hope that made sense☠️
What kind of Bible did they followed?! Jesus Christ didn't baptized until he was 30 years old. He also said Heaven is for the children and that every single kid is innocent and goes to Heaven. Seriously WTF.
The rich controlling “surgeon’s son” husband married “the cleaner’s daughter” because he would always be able to hold “bettering her life” over her; if he married a social equal she wouldn’t put up with quite so much bullying
As a muslim pakistani girl that too being a pushtoon, I've always had a very complicated relationship with religion. Because on one hand, when I was young the Creator that I believed in was benevolent and otherworldly to the point that it was hard to comprehend 'him' yet I could feel and see 'his' essence all around me. I was very spirituallly connected to nature and basically just floating through the world. I could see and understand most of the commandments that had been ordained. If something bad happened, I would wait and then learn the reason why something like that happened. I would literally joke with 'him' at times when something silly happened. My relationship with him only deteriorated when other people started imposing what 'his true image' was. The Creator that I believed in and devoted myself to seemed like a whole different being than the one everyone else told me about. It almost felt like there may have been two gods, the one adults told children about who could only be remembered when others loved pointing fingers at others and the one that I felt dwelling just beneath my pulse. To keep being reminded that no matter how hard I try and remain devoted to 'him', I will never compare to a man. That me being a girl already meant that I was impure and beneath a man. For a girl that was so deeply and profoundly in love with the beauty and wonders of the world created by 'him' for only my eyes to witness just like that of a person who is enamored by a painting drawn by an artist, to keep hearing that somehow I would never be equal to another human being because of something I could never control and had no say in, to say that it felt like I was being flayed alive would be an understatement. A loving Creator that bestowed me the ability to bear life yet considers me dirty for it. I wonder what wrong I had committed to not only hear from my own teachers, women older than my own mother, tell me that as a girl no matter what I did a man could always do it better and faster. To hear from my own mother that she wished I had been born a boy. The loss of innocence felt like my soul had been martyred. I know that for alot of women it must be easy to say that God is man-made but what about the ones who did believe in that Creator, and for some reason are so deeply hurt by 'him' and yet still can't let go. Who genuinely still believe that he's not man made yet still has hurt us just as any other man. Anyway, sorry for the rant. I honestly don't know what to make of what I just said either. It's just that somethings aren't that simple and easy to forget. I have never once and never will ever in my life force people to believe in the same things I do but for some stupid reason it hurts just as much to hear people not understand that religion is a little complicated despite the violence and hate it has sowed. It's like no matter what a girl does, people have a jard time believing that it doesn't include a man. Why do people believe that a man has any right to be privy to her relationship with 'him'. Can she not do it for herself? At the same time, why judge a woman for her relationship with 'him' yet won't think twice about his own relationship with 'him'. Honestly all of this is jusy exhausting.
Salam, I’m sorry to hear about your experience. I’ve had my frustrations also, but their version of Islam is not correct. You will not enter heaven because of your gender, so their sort of reverence over it is baffling and the Creator is the most just. You have some differences between genders, but your role as a Muslim is the same- to be just, pray, pay charity, if applicable, and speak truth and compassion. May God make things easier for you.
God ≠Religion. God ≠ Culture. Faith≠ Religion. Spiritual ≠Religious. Spiritual ≠Culture. You can love God regardless of following/ believing your culture!! Culture is created by men!! Hence, it’s so oppressive…God loves us unconditionally ❤
This is so beautifully written, thank you for taking the time. If you had changed Muslim to Christian, you would have described my experiences exactly. It's been a long road to find the beauty, love and wonder I knew of God early before all the pain and betrayal of religion came down. Personally, I've found it out of church and religion completely, but I hope you find yours in whatever way is best for you.
@@mhroa1261 Oh that was just beautifully written! And thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings! I can relate, though I was actually raised Jewish. It's learning about God and the amazing world he created for us, out of love for us! And then learning that the first woman God ever made was tricked into disobeying God, and so now literally EVERY woman is punished because of it. I was taught God favors women has the holy vessels of life chosen to bare children .... But it hurts like hell because of Eve and the way God designed our bodies to naturally function is "dirty" and "unclean" when we menstruate in order to carry the "life vessels" 🥺 I was between 6-7 years old!! I couldn't wrap my head around a "loving God" that "cursed" me as a female in the womb! Didn't make sense!
ALL the occupations dominated by women are the lowest wages in the nation--I've had foreign workers turn down caregiving jobs becuase they think they don't pay enough (average wage for 24/7 care is $5/hr depending on how much family and state force you to work.) Jobs held my women were formerly Unpaid or done by slaves, so our society isn't used to paying women at all and don't care when we are impoverished in certain fields. Avoid all jobs that are bandaids to our broken system and codependent with religions that push the subjugation of women and in some cases such as Opus Dei, actual slavery. Walk away from these low paying jobs until society improves wages and rights for women.
Where? By all accounts there is no laws in America where women cannot work at any job she wants to apply to. There are many women doctors, my doctor is a women, she's tough. Lawyers, etc. Women don't apply for certain jobs. Facts. I went to HVAC school, all men. The instructor said he only had one women take his class. No laws in place but I never see any electricians, plummers, heating and ac technicians. Why? because it's hard labor, climbing ladders, carrying heavy tools. All the occupations dominated by women is because they only go for these types of jobs. I would love to see more women out in these trades but they don't apply. No one is stopping them. I work all over New England and in almost 9 years in the field I have only seen 2 women actively working these jobs. And don't say it's because of pressure from men, the laws are so strict now that you can't even look at a woman wrong for fear that she feels uncomfortable and risk losing your job. I've even worked at a hospital and the President was a woman. It was so strict there that once a guy was fired because he stared at a nurse and she felt uncomfortable.
@@roguecow9632 yesss and and also noticing that every single time we do have women go into these high paying fields, and slowly more and more of them make up that field, all of a sudden the wages decrease. Or when women being pressured to leave a profitable field, and then it’s majority men making up the field the wages increase. We saw this with early computer science where a whole workforce was made up of mostly (underpaid) women (and especially women of racial minorities), once finally being appreciated and seen as useful, suddenly men flood that sphere. They’re paid fair wages. Women are told that they’re not suited for comsci and they’re not built for it, their brains aren’t meant for it, etc. It takes until the 21st century for women and girls to be told otherwise but by then this rhetoric has lived for several generations, and all the men who had been working in that field for years would still believe that old rhetoric, and make existing as a part of a new generation of women in computer science in that sphere a living hell. And those are your superiors and elder coworkers until they retire. And now we can’t remember a field of computer science that isn’t characterized by “techbros”. Or even now, women are now slowly becoming the majority of medical students and new physicians, and now insurance reimbursement rates are at an all time low, you have to see 60 or 70 patients a day in a hospital in order to make the same amount of money someone would make by seeing less than half that many patients 20-30 years ago, (not accounting for inflation) when the field was mostly men. And it’s like, we’re told, “it’s your fault for choosing low paying jobs, if you want to get paid more, then go to higher paying jobs!” But then when we say “bet” and we do, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. The same thing happened and is still happening with education, and teaching professions, it used to be a predominantly male field, it was respected, women joined that workforce, wages have decreased, and are frankly abysmal now. Men used to be able to support a family on a teaching wage, that’s a dream for women now. Because it’s not like teachers are any less necessary and important now. But women are then told if they want higher wages working in education they should teach in colleges. They go and all they can find are adjunct positions and it’s still mostly men who make up tenured professor positions that are now slimmer and slimmer to come by. This is always what happens!
@@MrJusticeM I worked in an almost all-male field and if I did as well as the men or better at a task, the insecure ones would start hating me. I was very friendly and professional and didn’t try to be one of the boys just do my job. Sometimes they’d bully me to get me out of there or if I tried to defend a man they were bullying. Constant comments on my body being gross or unattractive in earshot. Taking out issues with their wives with me. A lot of men don’t see women as human and it’s upsetting if you perform on their level. Also I had a group of men saying to hr I was too slow to get rid of me - but they tracked our stats and I was the second fastest person, but simultaneously had three jobs when most had one. I made six figures in that field. I think you are not that way but there are a lot of men who see women as good for nothing but to dominate snd subjugate. This is why most of corn is so violin t and putting women in their place. I’m proud of the work I did but sad because if I had been a man, those men would have been my friends, not constantly trying to hurt and sabatoge me. And I’ve worked with great men and a few bad women. But almost to the letter, white men about my age hated me. Exceptions with both groups of course. I had a lot of black men respect and advocate for me. Older men usually were better. It’s so weird looking back at it. So this is why women don’t enter those fields.
@@c.v.3025 Wow. So well said. And sad--an indictment against society as a whole for allowing this to happen. We could do so much better if we empowered women as much as we empower men.
The problem is that women are already walking away from some of these jobs, and instead of addressing systemic issues, policy makers are devaluing those jobs further by making it so that any person with a pulse can work them instead of getting the needed training. For example, I worked in education, and some states don't even require a college degree to teach anymore. Even in my home state, I've seen them consistently lower the bar for entry into the profession without raising pay, while simultaneously keeping the expectations for the job the exact same or raising them. It's their way of justifying low pay, while also failing to allow for the creation of comprehensive training programs for educators along with also failing to provide funding and resources to adequately address issues. They literally want educators and students alike to fail so that they can justify privatizing and restricting education and other opportunities so that they don't have to fund it. Sometimes I think that our society would rather fund prisons than schools because no one thinks about the long-term ramifications of making teaching such a devalued career that it results in social collapse. This isn't the only female-dominated field that they have done this for in my state. They have also changed licensing and business requirements for hairstylists, massage therapists, certain medical fields, and other predominantly female professions. Simply walking away does nothing to address the larger systemic problems that are built into these professions. In many ways, walking away makes things worse for society at large. Truthfully, we need teachers, social workers, haristylists, etc. And we need these systems to operate in such a way that they are functional and accessible. Unfortunately, too few people make the connection between systemic problems and labor shortages. Their "solution" is just to fill jobs openings using any tactics needed to keep these systems running for as little cost as possible rather than focusing on the larger issues that keep them from thriving, one of which is assigning a higher value to them.
As a spiritual 50 year old Black woman who grew up in a Christian church which didn’t allow women and girls to wear pants, sleeveless tops, or red lipstick, I am SO proud of the younger generation of women who aren’t putting up with the BS of patriarchy! Your internet auntie supports you. Great video!
I'm telling you! These videos are just absolute GOLD! Decentering men, deconstructing organized religion and the intersectionality between religious structures and the patriarchal "sin"... Actually explains a lot about the colonizer mindset too!!! I'm now connecting the dots!!! This bestie woke me up!!! ❤❤❤
Something i super resent from my church days, I was alwaaaaays asked/expected to volunteer in the nursery. My husband has never been asked once. Like, he has kids too he needs to do this crap. It's always assumed because I'm female that i want to work with kids. Grrrrrrrrrr
yes and for 20 years or so black people couldn’t have any leadership roles in the church and were told there weren’t allowed to get into heaven because they are inferior. also the guy who created the religion, joseph smith, was openly racist and wouldn’t allow any black people to join mormonism when the religion was formed for many years. they only recently started “accepting” black people into into their religion
There was a whole debate in the Mormon church on whether or not Black people have souls, and coincidentally it was decided that they do during the civil rights movement. It’s a weird religion that I wouldn’t consider to be Christian.
I grew up mormon in Utah. Many of the breadwinner growing up were the wives. But they pretended it was the husband's. Or they had a business where they did the work. I even saw my friends mom's doing homework for their husband's who were studying at BYU. The men got to just show up and magically bless us with the priesthood being in the home. They didn't have to do anything. They could study marine biology stay in a landlocked state and have 10 plus kids and the wife would just have to make it work somehow or be replaced.
Like imagine the husband being obnoxious about studying to be a doctor but marine biology and he refuses to leave utah to do it. I knew multiple fathers of 5 plus who were that guy. Their poor wives!
I can't recommend "God's Word to Women" by Katherine Bushnell enough to examine how the Bible has been mistranslated and misinterpreted in such a way to subjugate and oppress women. For example, in the genesis story, God created Eve AFTER telling Adam specifically not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Even though Eve acknowledges they weren't supposed to eat to the serpent, one could agrue that dictate was for Adam specifically because God looks for Adam first afterwards. Another example, when God created Eve because he thought it was bad for Adam to be alone, he created Eve as a "helpmeet". Well, the hebrew word translated into "helpmeet" is "ezer kanego". There's some lost in translation here because in the modern context we think of the word "help" "helper" or "The help" as the word "servant" or "assistant", all more submissive, subordinate words/roles, but in the context of the story, "Ezer Kanego" is better translated as "savior" or "rescuer". The word shows up in throughout Bible 21 times and many of those times, "ezer" is referring to God themself. When a person is a burning house and a fighterfight comes and gets them out of the house, we don't refer to that firefighter as a "helper" or "servant" or "assisant", but we can say that they "helped" them out of the burning house just as you can say they "saved" or "rescued" them out of the burning house. And there are many instances of mistranslations and misinterpretations throughout the Bible that the patriarchal interpretation takes as the standard.
Interesting, I read a few definitions and what I got was strength or power. Yes I do feel like they made up this translation to make a women feel like the second. Man is first and woman is second. I believe Kanego is suitable and Ezer is strength. A woman can be a man's strength or his down fall. I think of quotes like beside a great man you will always find a great woman. I don't believe a marriage is supposed to be a man just sitting around ordering his wife to cook and clean. I believe a woman and a man compliment each other to build something wonderful. I want a woman to extend my legacy, to be my partner, my companion. I can cook, clean, take care of my house but I can't give birth to my kids. I can't nurture my kids nor can I give them my milk. Women carry the eggs, men bring life to those eggs. Women are the first teachers, man are builders. We compliment each other in differents ways. Yes, we can say that we don't need each other but we do. Man cannot multiply without women, women cannot multiply without man. We make each other better. Sure, you can change your own tires but do you really want too? You can mow your own lawn, carry your own groceries and even fix everything in your house but do you really want too? I'm naturally gifted at fixing things, I can repair anything, cars, ac and heat technician, former Navy aircraft mechanic. Never in my whole life did any woman stop me and said "You know what, I think I'm going to call another woman to do this".
@@RavinaPande I'm just trying to say that the point of us being here on earth together is because we compliment each other. The best teams are men and women. We've done throughout time, it's not always perfect. But when we find our companion, who we can be ourselves, feel safe in each other arms. make each other a better person, respect and comfort each other during times in need. There is no greater connection than a man and a women. Remember men still go off to war and battle for the women we love.
Thanks so much for this recommendation. I’m so excited to read this book. I’m a Christian woman and have always had a problem with submitting to my husband and letting him lead. If I weren’t to take control in my marriage we would be homeless. All of my past relationships were the same where I was forced to be the dominant one out of necessity. Also I have always been the more spiritually strong one who is trying everything to get my husband or past partners on the same page spiritually. Over the past two years I decided to really take a backseat and give my husband the opportunity to lead and he lead us into a financial hole where I lived every single day in paralyzing fear of losing everything. When I think of all the women I know closely every single one of them is the more spirituality strong one who controls the finances and runs the household.
@@MrJusticeM I agree with you. Men and women need each other. We can make do without each other but I don’t think we will fully thrive. I need my husband and he needs me. Without each other our quality of life would be diminished. Today I had car trouble and my husband took care of it. Sure I could learn auto mechanics but I really don’t want to 😅
ex-muslim woman here 🙌🏼 I was born a muslim but I left 8 years ago and never looked back. It's surprising how similar these religions are especially in oppressing women and upholding patriarchy no wonder women are leaving them! Btw I love all your videos 💖💖
Actually Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world and more women convert to the religion than men, and the number of people who convert INTO Islam makes up for, and exceeds, the number who leave it. As a Muslim women my money is mine and my husband financially supports me even though I work. As a Muslim women I have right to divorce. I am not expected to do work around the house and have the right to ask for a housekeeper if I choose. As a Muslim women i have a right to gifts from my husband etc. sorry that you had a bad experience with Islam but don’t act like women are leaving in in droves when many are converting into it. The prophet Mohammed PBUHs last sermon before he died was all about treating women well. ✌️
And there’s nothing similar bw Islam and Mormonism. These Mormon women husbands are taking their money but in Islam my money is mine and my husband helps me around the house meanwhile my non Muslim friends are with men who expect them to pay 50-50 on finances yet do all the household chores and take care of the kids. I know tons of ton Muslim women who exclusively target Muslim men bc of how well they treat women compared to non Muslim men who tend to treat women like men 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
@@anneross8149You have the right to divorce, yes, but a man can do so solely by his will while a woman has to acquire her husband’s consent before being allowed to divorce. What’s even more unfair is that all that a man needs to do is say “Talaq” 3 times and it’s accepted as valid, while a woman has to go through so many legal and religious procedures. This is an insane difference in power dynamics in your religion. u most definitely sound like u didn’t grow up in a traditional household. The fact that you DON’T have to do chores says it all. If your husband is expected to be the provider while you virtually have no enforced responsibilities, then you grew up in a non-traditional society or at least rich. That’s not what a traditional Abrahamic religion expects of a woman, ask anyone who’s lived in a non-secular country. Just sounds like you got lucky enough. And Islam is growing fast, primarily because of high birth rate among Muslim populations worldwide, and capital punishment being enforced for apostasy, so people cannot leave willingly without risking their lives.
I have enough self respect as a woman that I left the church as soon as I turned 18. Why would I follow something that's made by men to opress women? And comments, please spare me with your history lessons, I don't care that religion itself might have been a good thing but it has been misused in the worst way possible by men for like hundreds of years. I believe in facts and not an old fairytale book written by men. Religions did more harm than good and if you need to be religious to have morals or a good person then there's something wrong with you. I feel sorry for all the brainwashed women.
@@AmericanDreamer People have used religion as a tool to oppress people. So yeah, religion is still a force of evil on women because it's been used a a tool by men to oppress us. That's why I'll never believe in any religion, especially Abrahamic ones.
I feel like u didn’t watch the video. She mentions how culture plays a role into taking religion (something that’s good) and using it to oppress others (which is a sin) that’s what patriarchy is a sin means. I come from a church where it is expect for women AND MEN to be giving, caring, loving, and respectful towards ppl around you. We have women leaders who are held in high regard in the church. Just because the way how your culture teaches religion doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else. It’s incredibly disrespectful and degrading to call women delusional for following religion because they probably don’t have the same experience as you.
@@AmericanDreamer organized religions have definitely oppressed people because religions are created by men. God, and spirituality in general, are separate entities.
I'm Christian, though I've come to learn the experiences people have with my faith really vary depending on which church they went. What annoys me the most is when people quote the submission versicle and completely ignore everything that the husband is supposed to do for his wife. It's said that the wife must submit to the husband as the church submits to Jesus and that the husband must care for the wife like Jesus cares for the church. You think Jesus is gonna deceive, humiliate, disregard or mistreat the church? No, he protects, guides, loves and literally dies for the church. I'm not saying this to convince anyone, I just wanted to explain how terribly some men use this versicle and twist the entire message behind it leaving only the impression that women are dogs on leashes waiting for an order. I hate that.
Even the dogs do better treated with love instead of fear, while still being allowed to dog (eg: the best way to train a dog not to chew a thing is, when a dog wants to chew, find a chew toy & give it to the dog, along the lines of "no, we don't chew the newspaper, we chew this ball instead, ok???"). Also, 100% this
I was raised in african muslim household and it was very toxic. I think more than anything its the culture influencing the religion thats a huge problem. When i meet muslims that dont really follow their native culture the vibe is very different.
No culture is not important. Especially not nonsense toxic patriarch culture. Islam is what we follow, not african, asian or european culture. Allah tells us ”Surely the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous among you.” Doesnt matter ethicity, gender etc. Islam is fully submission to Allah. Not cultures, trends and not to men
I was raised Mormon from birth. It was a living HELL for me through my teenage years until I left. I prayed to *not wake up* because I was at such a mental low from the teachings, the punishments in order to repent, and the scrupulosity OCD it breeds. As my brain developed more and I thought critically, I saw the mistreatment of non-white people, women, LGBTQ+ people and so on. I wish my family would see through the shit and truly understand why I left. But no, the church leaders tell them to "not seek counsel" from those who are not active members. Despite the grieving process and having to go low contact with my family, leaving was worth it!
Who woulda thunk that years later, as a former Jehovah's Witness, raised from birth, I could relate to you through this comment so deeply. The OCD, oh my god THAT PART. Constant mental policing and the fear of straying out of bounds... 😂 lol we used to call you guys Mormies as a kind of off-color joke, at least in my neck of the woods in the deep South, JWs and Mormons were seen as natural enemies of a sort. We were also "strongly encouraged" not to do any research outside of Witness material ie propaganda as I now know it. I left when I saw the hypocrisy from elders and some members in my congregation, and the conflicting instructions given to me when I began to stray. Then I did some real research and it was a done deal for me. Lost contact with my family because of that. But I never ever for a moment regretted leaving. It's been one of the best decisions I've made for myself 😊 It fills my heart to hear you've gotten away from that hell and had the courage to do it anyway. It sure is different from the other side huh? ❤ I send my love and respect your way sis ❤❤❤ I know it isn't easy, and that's not even including what I don't know with regard to what you went through with the Mormons that I didn't.
@@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066yep! That’s why it rarely pays to be the girlfriend of a med student. So many women get dropped after years of helping them and paying for them once they’re established.
@@LoveK1 oh I was a CNA at nursing home) rehabilitation center and I've seen it a lot!! They first start trying to cheat with the nurses, assistants and students!!
That concept of God fearing men makes so much sense the way you explain it. I couldn't understand why people had to fear God in order to be good or kind to others, especially to women. If people can't understand how to treat people well without having a God to tell them how to treat people, that's a problem. It should be a no brainer to treat people, regardless of gender, with kindness and respect.
Manifetelle. I’m a Bible nerd. I love studying the anthropology, history, and context of the Bible. You have mentioned some legitimate theories from biblical scholars. This video rules!
@a-6t6h Because if she or you had read it really and fully for yourselves, there's no way you would arrive to such conclusions! Very simple and has nothing to do with opinions!
@a-6t6h Or maybe you do the cherry-picking kind of reading without actually reading the context and the whole chapter but just grabbing one sentence here, one sentence there and voila! - opinion on steroids ready! That's not how you read a book!
I was forced into marriage by my Mormon parents underage to an X Scientologist (you have to be truly evil to be kicked out of Scientology as a "supressive" person!). He was truly evil. He looked for a Mormon wife because of how we are conditioned to enslave ourselves to our husbands. He abused and literally tortured me and my family not only stood by, but HELPED him! My life was smexual and financial slavery.
Its not about religion but the character of the people which they use religion to mask. Just letting you know I am a firm believer in not forcing religion on to people but many people misinterpret religion on purpose but I personally love my religion since it brought justice to slaves and women (Islam) at it times but now people are doing the opposite of the religion like banning women to speak in Afghanistan.
@jenosmart7295 what I'm saying is that these problems would've never even existed if religion wasn't a thing. It is the catalyst and you can't disagree that life wouldn't be better for so many people if these ideologies were treated as just that and not a fact.
I disagree, obviously some religions might have flaws, but if everyone didn't believe in life after death, I'm pretty sure more than half of the population would have depression. religion is often the only thing that motivates certain people to be good.
I disagree. Religions aren’t the problem, selfish people are. If religions didn’t exist, selfish people would still exist and would still hide behind other benign institutions to do whatever they want for their own gratification and gain, even at the expense of others. Even now, people do hide behind their respectable jobs, their high socioeconomic status, their philanthropic activity, and even their marital status in order to do whatever they want at the expense of others.
I’m so glad you’re tackling this. Too many non Christian men abuse tf out of submission. No your girlfriend isn’t obligated to submit to her boyfriend.
@@annjohnson4061 well we are barely making it with both of our incomes. He doesn’t bring in nearly enough but I definitely can’t do it on my own either. He also couldn’t do it on his own.
Raised Mormon here 🙋♀️. Not practicing. I'm over religion. Also, my ex, Catholic, would try to pressure me into forgiving him for all kinds of stuff because *religion.* I told him he had a conflict of interest and he was the very last person I would listen to on the concept of forgiveness. Currently watching a friend self-flagillating because of *religion.* I'm so tired of this nonsense.
I was raised in a muslim family and in my family girls are not not even supposed to be involved in any decision making. All decisions are taken my men and we are just expected to obey it. I feel like a begger asking men in the family for every small thing and waiting for their approval even though i am an adult. Though i was Incouraged to go to the university but it dint changed my social status as an inferior gender. My life is already ruined but I promise that I will never ever let my children go through the same thing. I will give my daughters equal freedom and rights and to my daughter in law as well. This barbarism in my family will end with me
With all recpect to your experience this is not the norm in Islam that's cultural beliefs that people tied to religion when they are not. Now I don't know how you view religion now, but I'm glad you're breaking the cycle and not going to treat your future daughters like the way you were treated and I believe we can all find the good in that
@@jennaanot.- with all due respect, I wish it wasn't a religious problem but unfortunately it is. Isl@m along with all other religions, gives men the highest authority as "head" Of the family and women's duety is to obey them Those who think otherwise are pure delusional because this is one thing common in all religions and mentioned VERY clearly without any room for misconception. It's so clearly mentioned that even a child can read and understand it. Still religious ppl keep trying to defend it. In isl@m women are just a farm for men. While women can be cursed by angels even for refusing sx with her husband. Basically she isn't even considered human enough to have authority over something as sensitive as sx. Even sl@very is legal in this faith. It literally broke my heart into pieces when I came to know about these disgusting things. Not to mention, the repeated attempt to justify pedophilia is just unbelievably painful
@vp-lv6yk delusion is people thinking that culture and religion are tied the thing that made women a farm for men was Muslim men not islam and I feel like we don't acknowledge that enough. Slavery is not "legal" in Islam, and you can ask anywhere and it will tell you nowadays there is no slavery in Islam and even back then when slavery was the norm across the world islam didn't adopt the modern slavery which is "treat them like they're less, they're are objects, they can't eat the same food as you, marry the same people as you, let alone be humans, they can't be freed unless sold to someone else" which btw Islam doesn't adopt ANY Of those beliefs and slowly is illegalized slavery all together. Now for the pedo "claims" please this is so overboard. This claim has been debunked multiple times at least in Islam, the age and life-span are not the same as today. People 2000 years ago did not live as long as we do, didn't mature at the same age as we do, please research into that matter and if you don't, at least don't throw misinformation I think we can agree that religious people are not perfect and they never will be because they are humans but religion (here I'm obviously talking about Islam) is perfect, there is not a single "claim" against Islam that hasn't been debunked SEVERAL times, while other abrahamic religions still run away from some loopholes against their religion.
I am Hinduism and my religion does love women but our people surely doesn't follow it as it's a choice to read religious book or not and many people of our religion choose not to do As we worship female god and belive our gender, money doesn't decide who we are but it's our intelligence determined who we are
Contrary to what the media and racists say, Islam loves women 🤷🏼♀️ in fact more women convert to Islam than men do. The Prophet Mohammed’s last sermon prior to his death was about respecting women and treating them well. In Islam my money is mine. Even though I work my husband covers all finances because in Islam, a man has no right to his wife’s money. A wife is also not expected to do anything around the house and has the right to request that her husband hires help for the house. In my case my husband helps me. Meanwhile my non Muslim friends split finances 50/50 with their husbands YET their husbands expect them to do all the housework and childcare. In Islam I have the right to divorce. In Islam we’re told that heaven lies at the feet of a mother. We’re also told that daughters are gifts and that raising them is also an entryway into heaven. In Muslim countries men who rape women or kids are executed on the spot unlike America where we release them back into society. When I got married my husband got me gold amongst other gifts, which is also common amongst Muslims (at least Arab Muslims) Etc. Islam protects women and anytime we see “Muslims” treating women wrong just know they’re not Muslim and are instead using Islam as a scapegoat and are confusing culture with Islam because as a Muslim women, I can attest to the fact that Islam protects women and treats them with dignity.
@@abhaupadhyay2938 The Manusmriti: This ancient Hindu text contains many passages that promote gender inequality and discriminate against women. For example, it states that women should be dependent on men, and that women who are not under the control of men are dangerous. Dowry: In some Hindu communities, the practice of dowry, where the bride's family is expected to provide a substantial sum of money or property to the groom's family, can contribute to the devaluation of women and the perpetuation of gender inequality. Restrictions on women's roles: In some Hindu communities, women are expected to fulfill traditional gender roles, such as staying at home, caring for children, and performing domestic duties. This can limit women's opportunities for education, employment, and personal growth. Female infanticide and sex-selective abortion: In some areas, the preference for male children has led to practices like female infanticide and sex-selective abortion, which contribute to gender imbalances and perpetuate gender discrimination.
I grew up as a Mormon, then at 18 I joined the Navy and left my home. The chance to get away from that environment and travel helped me ultimately leave that church. It takes years and several different phases of life to undo the religious programming that I carried with me even after not stepping foot in that church for a long time.
18:04 AGREED, and this is especially necessary to have for autistic women who need more social acceptance and support. They/we need more people in their lives who genuinely care for them, wanna help them, without forcing masking.
I'm 33, I'm from the LDS church never married, the adequate name for what you guys call "Mormonism", many women pressure themselves to marry young, because they think it's the way to go. Some people marry because of social pressure, I have overcome that. I have been proposed marriage and when I find out why, these men come up with answers as, making it seem as it is pre destined. I wasn't feeling it and then I ended it. Most women have been divorced, some are un happy, and very few counting with my hand are genuinely happy. The Hulu series just provides a one sided part of the culture, which needs more exploration, most Mormon women live normal lives, they aren't rich or YT
AMAZING CLASS AS ALWAYS BESTIE! I read something the other day about a conversation between two women. One was telling the other that she felt as though she had no time to pursue God because she was so busy taking care of the house, her family, her work. The woman felt guilty, until her friend told her that it is the MEN that need to seek out God- go to the desert, go into the sea, climb the mountain. God COMES to women wherever we are because we are inherently connected to divine creation. This gave me so much peace, and I hope it makes my other girlies feel good too.
First thing that came into my mind when i saw the video was "Nara Smith" and then all the comments that i read and said "if you dislike Nara you are sexist,you are not girls girl,you just hate her because she chose different path" came into my mind.. Why should I be girl's girl to a girl who is not a girl's girl? Why should i stick up and speak well of a woman who promote ideas that are harmful to women and thankfully to them sexism and oppression stay fresh and alive and continue to exist and thrive lol?
…Are you confusing her for Estee? Nara Smith and her husband are both models and working... She just really enjoys to cook and dressing uber feminine but I don’t recall her shaming other women for liking different things, or tells how women should live traditional lives…. Unless your only problem with her is her just existing, then yeah the comments are right to call you out on it. Estee is the famous SAHM tradwife dressed as a 1950s pinup model that shames women for not living similarly, claiming motherhood should be the priority of every woman, defers all her decisions to her husband and “never talks back” (which is why she overcompensates by policing other women), and isn’t a “girl’s girl” in general.
Nara Smith just likes to cook and wear dresses. She is NOT a trad wife nor is she pretending to be, because she's a working woman (high fashion model). You are sexist because why are you putting her in the "trad wife" box when she never claimed to be one, she doesn't promote any harmful ideas, and doesn't put down other women?
I LOVE your videos on religion. They’re honestly so insightful. I consume other Bible scholarship, but you’re covering an angle I don’t see represented elsewhere. The part about the “original sin” being top-down patriarchy was genuinely mind-blowing.
The thumbnail caught my attention, the title made me laugh (and watch). Before I do I'll just leave this here: I'm also glad I'm not Mormon (anymore). The racism, inconsistencies in doctrine, "pay to participate", the classism, having to closet myself to keep the peace, being told my existence was fundamentally wrong. I'm now on the other side having unlearned a lot of the bs, and am working through the religous trauma. I didn't leave to sin, I left because that "church" reduced me to a husk of my former self and I'm glad to have me back! Thank you for reading my novel 😅❤
I grew up in Mormon religion and knew it was BS when I was old enough to comprehend the "teachings." I've watched several friends fall out of it, and only 3 of my friends are still sucked in. But honestly, I'll give it 5 more years. I believe in their intelligence.
Its easy to get swayed with your iman if you dont have a firm understanding of the belief and who Allah is. If you knew of Allah and his mercy, you would never accuse Him of being ”unequal” or ”patriarchal”. Because Allah says ”Surely the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous among you.” Doesnt matter if its a man or a woman. Its not worth losing your relationship with your creator. Learn islam from the actual source not from uneducated people
@@ApricotMintLOL! 😂😂😂 And yet here you are in a women's comment section trying to convince us of the benevolence of your religion. Save it! I dated a Muslim man so I'm familiar with what their teachings actually mean in daily life and practice. I realize that maybe not all Muslim men are as toxic as my ex was, but Islam's teachings did no favors to my ex's mental health since he was schizophrenic.
Thank you for making a deep dive into my religion. As an 19 year old young woman, I see the patriarchal norms and misogyny buried in this religion with priesthood power used by men and women always have to be submissive to the priesthood. I recognized it is a highly organized religion full of rules (some benefit me) and others are uptight and suffocating. The culture emphasizes women to be quiet and submissive to husbands never sit right to me. I vow to never be like that. As long as I live and breathe, I will dismantle patriarchy and I am starting by fully prioritizing my education (pharmacy school) rather than marrying early in the temple or serving a mission (yes even being a women church culture, people and leaders will force you to go on a mission even a patriarchal blessing will ask you go on a mission even if prominent church leaders emphasized its optional to go the heavy pressure is more inclined to men which is mandatory priesthood duty but STILL i am asked when willl i go on a mission and my actions are stubborn as I am practical. I choose my education, future career, livelihood, financial independent first. I will not allow myself to be controlled and manipulated especially by my religion. I recognize that it has cult aspects and I am detaching from it. Living the law of wisdom and chastity makes my life better and helps me stand out not following the crowd but the reality of being unequal to men with rampant misogyny and patriarchal norms is displeasing with the pressure to go on a mission i don't want to go. I don't want to spend 19 months in my life going around people about the church when i myself are uncomfy of some aspects of the church why would i go out of my way to be like salesperson and achieve a sales quota of getting members to be baptized when i feel conflicted of my beliefs? I will NOT conform to the pressure and mission. I am different and i set my own path. Pharmacy school allows me to be free and education will always be my bestfriend along with financial independence. I am not sacrificing education. I may be detached from church aspects, but not from Jesus Christ. ❤ I go to church for the Savior and not because of the imperfect religion organization hence that's why I'm still active.
@@alishabee369 if i take my name off the records, i would be under scrutiny of my father and i will become a ward project for missionaries and a subject of meetings held at ward council. I hold a calling of young women adviser so it may not be a good example of them. My father is the biggest factor of pushing this religion to me and i cant push away my father because he is an important man in my life and guided me well to be a decent woman in a world full of bad stuff such as no vices, etc. What I hate is him forcing me to go on a mission. I don't like it. Even my patriarchal blessing says I should go but my desires are only pharmacy school to become a successful pharmacist. My father and church members always ask when i should go on a mission or compare me to other youth who went. I know what i want and its not mission. I know God is proud of me for choosing education but with y father and filipino church culture it is SUFFOCATING. I feel stuck. I can't leave either because it's a big loss of my identity i feel like I need a licensed psychologist for therapy because I only rely on my university's guidance counselor as of now. My mother is not a member she is catholic and even though she is pressured by dad or others to be a member, she didn't. I took inspiration from that. I feel conflicted and stuck due to parents' different religions and how mormonism is very dominant in my life due to my dad's influence.
@@kaosisosom thank you! I sometimes feel conflicted because some of my personal principles are not aligned with church doctrine but i value my principles and detach from the church. I just go to church for Jesus because the church organization is messy, imperfect, flawed and cultish type
I really have a problem with the expression a god fearing man is a good man. Because it means that there is no man who is good, but he only does good because he is afraid of consequences. That is not true there are many good men who are atheists and there are many evil religious men but the thing about religion is that evil men can hide behind it.
@@nanomiathe religious men feel very predatory and groomy for some reason. the indoctrination really shines through when you get to see how they see women, which is always below themselves. when youre valued as less than a child, expected to put in the work of an octomom and viewed as a lustful object it just makes me sick
growing up baptist and now reading the bible with a different lens has been one of the most eye opening experiences in my life. your sources and perspective really help me on this journey of understanding even though i’m not religious anymore, just curious about the world we live in!
Omggg the way it connected back to how we need to actually actively AVOID patriarchal men - that's their biggest fear - abandonment - to finally be free omggg and to finally actually save the world. It's so so amazing how it connects all back and even to movements like 4B. Now that's God's work. That HAS TO HAPPEN. ON A LARGE SCALE. I LOVE IT
I am currently in med school. When I needed to wait for an answer from my uni applications my boyfriend made clear from the start that he would move with me no matter where I would be accepted. He has a very low paying job despite getting a proper education and being incredibly smart, he is just not a competitive person and very mindful. Luckily I also got into a scholarship. I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
The nuances in this video is amazing because it’s created through curiosity driven by compassion. I love that you really believe no women should be left behind and understanding each other and these systems is a the way to freedom. I’m really going to digest this for a minute.
People always forget that part in the Bible were it says “ husband submit to your wife, wife submit to your husband.” This way men get all the attention, support etc is overly wrong. Even it wasn’t written down it should emotionally and logically feel bad. Religions should know by now nothing survives without women even the amount of people in your pew.
I grew up Mormon, and I’ve been out for about five years now. Time and time again I would hear that Women WERE pornography. Like, their mere existence was sinful. Yeah, and people wonder why I left.😒 I have to admit though, this channel means the WORLD to me, it has helped me deconstruct so many of the teachings I grew up with and actually be happy with who I am. I felt so much shame simply for being a girl growing up. Now? I feel good about myself. I know what I deserve. I am me and anybody that truly wants me will be happy to pay the price of my companionship.
@@seraphseye yeah, I’m Christian, I still have my faith and hold it as the most important thing in my life, but dear Lord if there was any time or anyone that ever made me wonder “what is this? What is my faith?” Was when, at the tender age of 13, I heard my pastor at my old church say “all men want is sandwiches, smex, and silence,” in front of dozens of people at Sunday service and there was audible agreement and laughing from the men. … Yeah. I no longer go to that church, thank you, Jesus, but literally no one makes women question their faith more than sexist men.
As a former catholic who turned to witchcraft, I LOVE the interpretation that patriarchy is the original sin, but I'm afraid most christians (catholic or not) are not ready for this conversation...
My pastor talked about how disgusting and sinful adultery was and when I tell you most men in that church were FURIOUS and threatened to go to another establishment where they would be “accepted.” Smh
I’m not Mormon, but I grew up in a similar environment. My family are strict Christians, and as the oldest of nine siblings, I’ve witnessed firsthand the harmful effects of teachings about “biblical womanhood.” These beliefs have left many women in my community either deeply indoctrinated or, in some tragic cases, driven to take their own lives. We were denied access to devices, as they were seen as tools that could expose women to "worldly influences." The men were taught how to find and control submissive wives, while the women were taught to submit entirely to their husbands, following every command. We were also raised to believe that having as many children as possible was not just a duty, but our sole purpose in life.
As a woman who grew up in a Muslim country and family, the reason why women dont want to submit to their husbands is because we've seen how miserable our mothers were. It enforced this idea to the point that I had to grow up with boys who thought they were superior and actively reminded you everyday that god places you beneath men.
The problem is that the women continue enforcing it out of ignorance of their own religion 🧐 breaking the cycle is crazy.
That's sad because in my family women are given more importance and men are expected to provide. As a Muslim woman my parents encouraged me to go to university so that I have a professional vocation to support my future, even if I don't work, also it means I can raise my family better. I want to pass the same values on to my daughters now
@@sshafiq543 see ? Now the culture is twisting even religious principles. I can't with humans lmao.
In religion, the submission of the wife to her husband is the same as his to her, because the both of them are already submitting to Allah. That's literally the meaning of a muslim/muslima.
@@sshafiq543my parents encouraged me to go to university too. But as a girl with 3 male siblings, i was the only one expected to help out in the house by my entire muslim family. In my country, women go to university and are still expected to be stay at home moms and house wives, not working
True. My mom wasn't allowed to ride a bicycle or play like her siblings. I was never allowed to travel outside my city or stay up late with friends while my male siblings were always allowed to
I was stalked by a man for over five years. I went to my friend's church recently and guess who was there claiming to have found God. My stalker! When I told my friend about him she was shocked becuase this guy was always at the church doing chores to help out. Mainly fixing things. He came up to me and tried to act friendly. I was terrified. He tried to get me to go out for a drink with him afterwards. I have not returned to that church. My friend and her husband have since said he has been asking about me non stop and trying to get them to get me to go back. DO NOT trust everyone you meet at churches and holy places. Evil people pray within them becuase religion is founded on caring and forgiveness for all. This man was known to police and is on psychiatric drugs. He had a history of pestering women and going right up to the legal line but never so far over it that I was able to ask the police to give me a restraining order. He often hid behind social media profiles. He used Machiavellian tactics to try to get me to meet up with him. He used to be my mechanic! Trust you gut ladies. If something tells you a person if off -- they very likely are.
That "caring and forgiveness for all" usually rewards abusers with forgiveness and acceptance while ignoring and invalidating the feelings of the victims.
"Evil people pray within them because religion is founded on caring and forgiveness for all" 🔥📝
@@Ella-g2m I hate the forgiveness concept in Christianity. Why should a victim forgive her abuser if the abuser himself isn't sorry? It's insanity!
Amen! My stalker is trying to act religious now too
I genuinely fear this. I have a stalker and am afraid he will just show up to church one day. Not only am I afraid of this, I am also afraid that others in the church will pull out the, "well maybe he's changed, he's come to God now, etc.," because I wouldn't believe for a moment that he was there for any other reason beyond access to me.
Was talking to a Muslim guy and he told me he’d become more religious when he got older but for now he’s just living life 😂 I had to scoff at that statement
It reminds me of the tradition in the Amish community, where young men are allowed to live in the outside world for about a year and try evetything which is forbidden among the Amish ( alcohol, clubbing, extramarital relationships with "American" girls as they call them). Then they can decide whether to stay among the Amish or not (the vast majority prefers to stay because family connections, finances etc). Amish girls, at the same time, are never allowed to try "outside world" experiences.
funny this is, If you're a muslim woman, You'll be fully shunned by the same men saying this Even tho the Quran is veeeeery clear about it. Same punishment' for both
@minnymoe well truth be told the girls can go out into the world... they all get a choice
@@minniemoe4797lol *i wonder why*
Men allow themselves that luxury
The fact that so many young men really want to dominate women is terrifying. We had a few years of moving forward, and now we're going backwards again.
Im not usually a fan of reality TV, but it seens like this show is helping some of the women stuck in terrible circumstances.
The Handmaid's Tale was written as a warning not only for entertainment.
@@minniemoe4797 True. Some are using it as an instruction manual.
Its red pill content feeding
@@alyzu4755 going backwards happens. We need a little pushback to strengthen the ideology.
I love my boyfriend, and I told him if we ever broke up, because I swing both ways, I told him I would not date another man. The risk of a bad man is too high
“Why the daughter of the hospital cleaner is subsidizing the education of the son of the heart surgeon of that same hospital?” - mind blowing 🤯
Because she thought she would be living the high life. Truthfully she should get divorced before he finishes his medical school because he will divorce her and she will the shunned by the church....similar to Heather on real housewives of salt Lake city.
she is the definition of Barbara the Builder. She should support her mom instead.
Period
Yeah, if it’s family wanted him to be a doctor, they should have told him he’s not allowed to start a family while they’re supporting him through school.
Because surgeon dad already has a baggage, raising 4 (or more) wives and (10-20) kids.
most men turn to religion when they get older because it’s when they have lived their lives and now want to reap the benefits without actually abiding to the rules.
Yeah, I mean, religion states plainly that you can do this.
👏 👏
I do not know any men that turn to god as older people.
They hide from their choices.
And when they realize their lives have been so empty
what rules? can you elaborate on what you mean by "have lived their lives"?
Imagine doing everything plus making sure his ego is pleased by pretending they are the breadwinners
And the final result that these wives get is hatred, contempt and belittlting treatment instead of gratitude and appreciation.
@@devonjames9I mean, no, we do, but we don’t need partners. We can definitely get along without one!
@@devonjames9 The point of a loving relationship is intimacy, emotional trust, and companionship. No where can I find any definition of relationship where need is used. The point is two people who have chemistry decide to build a family, love and respect each other and extend their legacy through children and later grand children.
This is my definition of hell on earth
Like Ella says in the last video we put relationship in a high level that shouldn’t be putting it cuz they’re so much other ways to created meaningful connections ❤
When I still attended church, women did the lions share of the work. Weekly Potlucks, children's church, VBS, landscaping, greeting, visiting the sick, bringing meals, moms groups, decorating for holidays, organizing carolers, so much work! All for free.
The community we created was wonderful, knowing it was taken for granted and the men didn't really respect us was too much to take.
You don't need Religion to have a great community
It reminds me of a piece from the Irish show Father Ted, when father Ted and father Doughal watch the interview of a feminist, feeling annoyed of her statement that Irish Catholic Church mistreats women. After switching off the TV Ted and Doughal started to prove themselves that Catholic women are so respected, while their housekeeper Ms.Doyle was doing all the hardest and dirtiest jobs around the house, carrying all the heavy buckets without any help.
Happens in every part of society low-key. Men benefit sooo much off the work of women.
@@CordeliaWagner1999 true why tf people need religion so much? I never get it
@gimmekromer1151 It's about finding a connection to the divine in a community setting. Religion is both social and spiritual. If you have not had a spiritual experience, you may not understand how beautiful it is to share that experience with a community of like-minded people.
That dude in med school.... once he finishes. Gets established in his career... he will definitely definitely leave his wife
Mormon women = Barb the Builders. It's a set up.
This works both ways between men and women.
Buy them pre-built.
@@Sorcerollohuh? No it doesn't.
He will likely cheat on her and manage to hide it cause every time she gets suspicious, he'll gaslight her. She'll be too busy with kids and everything else to put more effort into finding out his discrepancuea until she ends up with an STD. I say this because I was Mormon and I grew up in that cult. My hubby and I of course left. They were "sealed in the temple". She can't undo her spiritual marriage without permission from church headquarters. Not if he cheated was abusive or even in death. They believe their temple marriage connects them to their extended family. They believe if someone leaves, you are screwing up not just your own salvation but that of your spouses, kids, further posterity and possibly even your parents and their parents. So they'll stick around in a miserable marriage most likely 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
recently dated a man who lied to me about being single. his wife converted to mormonism for him and supported him for years as he finished up med school. technically she paid for our dates and the car he picked me up in. the audacity of this man was unparalelled and i pray for her all the time.
That is so horrbile. I hope she leaves him.
@@unusualnesscertified269 yikes just checked and they just celebrated their 7 yr anniversary in europe 😲
@@kalonecho oh my god
I am glad atleast you got out when you did girlie
@@kalonecho tell her my god
this man needs to be behind bars
As a Muslim women… the amount of times I have heard men growing up as boys who did everything “haram” as possible but then all of a sudden grow as “men” and start to take religion srsly by controlling OTHER women and trying to dictate what they should wear, how they should act, behave pisses me tf off
It’s a men problem globally .
Ugh, the audacity of those guys! I knew so many guys like that in the mosque too, they made my blood boil
There are some male Muslim students from other countries and they act like it doesn't count here, they go drinking, don't commit to Ramadan etc. It's all rules for thee but not for me with these "religious" men.
they love to hide behind religion. always making us look worse smh
Religion was alway a tool to control us. They show us promises of future and give up painful presents. That's how toxic relationships work.
“Patriarchy is sin.”
Elle. ELLE!!! You don’t know what this channel means to me!!! I grew up in the south and this “God is a woman” series is healing me. Love your work more and more as you grow! Congrats on creeping up on a QUARTER OF A MILLION followers queen!!!
God is a woman series should be a playlist on your channel Manifestelle!!!!
@@lovelover4408 been watching for over a year now and it's just EYE opening!! ❤️
So many wheels turning in my head now, seeing clearly!
I love her so much! Everytime a video of hers comes up, I’m so excited about what rabbit hole I’m about to dive down. I’ve had such a strange relationship with religion, being raised Roman Catholic and all. She always plugs into something interesting. Can’t wait to go dig more into this topic! Loving the book rec❤
It's odd how many overlook the fact that Genesis 3:16 is a curse, not a command!!
Well, you need to check out Shaktism then. It's a pre-Vedic religion which built the core of matriarchial Bengali society.
the more i get educated the more i dont wanna get married
I'm with you 👏😊
Marriage has been romanticized so much by misogynists and "trad wives" that some women are deluded enough to think that the fact that they got married alone will make the husband not cheat or leave her or disrespect her or always protect and provide for her or that their relationship is better/more important than others. In 2024 we shouldn't be thinking of marriage as a security bcs men have proven they don't respect their vows. If there is true love and everything else that comes with it a relationship is gonna last forever.
mood!
Im a follower of Christ and chosed single life bc of stuff like this 😂
Because intelligence means ability to raise questions and whatever we women are following in our life is out of men desire not out of a reasonable reason
“The male crisis” has now added religion to their failings, what could go wrong ?? I love how women are leaving bc they said men & women aren’t treated equally & men said “I’m there !”😂.
They want to go to a place where women are treated less than. That’s so predatory.
If women are against religion, I'm in.
I remember reading the comments of men wishing to move to Utah and pretend Mormon because "Mormons have the most obedient women".
@@minniemoe4797 You make it seem like women don't want the same things men want.
Ис
I have heard a story about a recent men pastor that was raping women because he believed that it was the ways to ways repeated and coming back to God .
I was born Mormon and have been out now for almost 3 years. I am so unspeakably grateful every day.
Congratulations on making it out. I am 4 years out of the Mormon church and it was the best decision I ever made in my life!
I'm so happy for you both! 💖😊💖
I’m grateful for you too. Glad you’re not in that sexist cult anymore
🎉🎉🎉 Congratulations, enjoy your freedom!
Girl , i hope you can have great life sis....
I relate to this ,my father also always indoctrinate us daughters and sons about a woman should nurture and homemaking, it's destined,predestined and how man have it different that they're provider and destiny maker BS.
He did provide school but mind you we daughter prioritized to should help making home.
Crazy.
He controlled our friend and even our outings and wherever i went i need to call or inform or gave GPS (when smartphone was first gaving GPS function)
I was soooooo glad i went against them girl. I was out for ±15 years. I was soooo pushover , ppl pleaser kind of pickme filial wannabe best daughter .
So crazy how it took 1 line of BS sexist talk trigger lots of changes.
If i didn't went against them i would be married uneducated with 3 child and enslaved with no pennies and keep being insulted and humiliated while getting exploited by my families,sibs (my brothers all black pill patriarchy sonovabirch) , bad friends,husband and in laws bc your mindset affect whom you choose as your close circle social network.
That tiktoker ate on calling out churches for all their misogyny. I think another thing that should be noted about matriarchy is that unlike men, women always know their offspring are theirs. In patriarchy a man needs to control a woman's body to make legitimate heirs. A woman doesn't need to control a man's body in the same way to insure inheritance so inherently patriarchy would involve controlling women's bodies in a way matriarchy wouldn't.
Wow what a great point! Like I’m glad Elle brought up matriarchy bc I would struggle with explaining *why* it’s different from patriarchy. The how is much more obvious, but the men who criticize it so hard, similarly to white supremacists afraid of “great replacement”, project their fears onto everyone else. So they stop at where their imagination takes them - to them, in a largely matriarchal society, women would subjugate and oppress them as they have been doing to us all these millennia. They talk about biological nature so much to justify their horrific behaviors, but can’t imagine how biology on our end might make that same nature of theirs nonsensical to a thriving matriarchy, in ways it allows patriarchy to succeed. Thanks for this I’m gonna use this next time I choose to suffer this topic lol
This is CRUCIAL. This is like why marriage became so important when people started living in a settled place and passing down land ownership. Suddenly it became very important to know what sperm created what baby
Parental investment theory in a nutshell.
not wanting her to cheat= controlling her body? can you elaborate a little bit cause all I'm hearing is you thinks its wrong for your man to not want you to sleep with other men while you're with him ( ensuring paternity) and that you think its controlling for him not to want you to do that. Its giving 304.
@@andrewmath7719 not wanting her to cheat and actively prohibiting her from any activity outside the home, keeping her under your watchful eye, are two very different things
The “patriarchy being born and rooted in sin” concept, as pertaining to christianity, was very mind blowing 🤯. A paradigm shift.
Fr
This concept is in ALL ABRAHAMIC RELIGIONS, not only in christianity
It really is, though, when you think about. Things like casual sex are encouraged in patriarchal ideals, something that most Abrahamic religions are against. Same with drugs, alcohol, and unnecessary violence. All things that the patriarchy adores, all things that most Abrahamic religions say are a no-no.
Well, you need to check out Shaktism then. It's a pre-vedic religion which formed the core of matriarchial Bengali society.
damn imagine having a bum ass husband who you're literally feeding and providing for that is treating you like shit and he is telling you what to do but isn't doing anything for you in return
Been there done that.... have the destroyed life to prove it.
@@danataylor9437 your life is your life. own it and enjoy whats left
This has been my mom’s entire life.
That’s on them. These women have to get a backbone at some point. I understand it’s the way some of them were raised. A lot of us were raised in the church to do this too, but had the mind to go a separate way.
I grew up in Utah with Mormon extended family as a non-Mormon girl. I was told MY ENTIRE LIFE by the culture around me that my only worth and value was being a subservient woman who has babies. Women here are high achieving but always think about how their skills and intelligence will benefit their husbands and kids. Women are encouraged to achieve and be smart but only for the sake of helping their husbands and sons succeed. Utah Mormon culture is all about gaining skills and knowledge so their men don’t have to think too hard. Moving away from Utah has been the most empowering move I’ve ever made because I get to keep and use my skills and education for myself.
Really? huh I was raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints and I have so many unmarried female friends who are strong in the church. This church has helped me in so many ways.
Same. I can't even tell you how many times growing up that I was told not to get an education because I wouldn't need it, and it would delay marriage and family if I pursued it. The Mormon church sees women as breeders and servants. Nothing more. So glad I got out.
The fact that a man, a HUSBAND, would talk shit about his wife’s job is just insanity. Talking crap about MomTalk is just stupid. Insane.
@@chelseashurmantine8153 Reminds me of my uncle who talked crap about his wife's job, while sitting in her own car, purchased off the money she earned from her job for "stupid people". (They weren't religious though)
The fact that he's a useless bum to a point where said job is feeding him but he is disrespecting it is even more infuriating 😂
"Patriarchy is sin" is my new motto. I literally bought this book while watching this video so that I can give it to a friend is who struggling with this exact concept. Thank you for expanding my repertoire of inspirational and educational literature for women.
Imma get the book too ommg !!!!
Maybe you could send your friend this video too.
It’s interesting seeing atleast from Christianity how soooo many people make a big deal out of marriage when Jesus himself didn’t even get married or have kids. 🤔
Girrrrrrrl 💋🤌
Even Paul said its better to be single than married, yet Christian men still whine about single 30s “cat ladies” and push girls and barely adult women to marry young.
That's some piping hot tea. You preach, you're right.
Crazy how ANY community that wants to perpetuate itself would have opinions about marriage and forming families. You don't have to get married if you don't want to, but come on now. 😂
It even says those who marries will have tribulations. The Bible is not against singleness or marriage
All of these men going to church and it’s still impossible to find a Christian man to date who holds the values of compassion, generosity, kindness, forgiveness, grace, temperance, honesty, and fidelity in the way that is described in the Bible and exemplified by Jesus for men to do. But bet that these are the expectations still held for women that they want to date/marry and more.
The book center around the most kindest man to ever grace literature
And somehow he the not main role model for men😢
@@kokomowater5483 literally the blueprint 😭😭😭 oh how the mighty have fallen
"wedding vows are for women." 💔
I love to remember that Jesus never left writing even if he could . That also means that maybe they even twisted some of his words .
A historian told me that Jesus has never used the terminology sin cuz he wasn’t there to judge or to discriminate people.
In the Bible, a lot of beautiful story about people just needed to be forgiven from a society that was made to judge or rebuke them .
These fake Christians are just looking to predate upon naive religious women, and the church heads will help them, because they value a predatory male more than a saintly woman. If they had any respect for their followers they would be protecting them from predators.
The problem with Christians, and I'm Christian, is that they hear without listening and don't understand that it was written at a time when women had very few options to provide for themselves without a man. Jesus would approve of women being celibate; focusing on her relationship with Jesus and not on worldly things like trying to get a husband. It even states in the Bible that it’s better to remain unmarried because you can't serve two masters. Single women have more time to do good work in the world and what better way to stop evil men from reproducing than by a woman not trying to get married and have children? There are plenty of children in the world who need help and an independent woman has the resources to help.
When I was reading the biography of St.Genevieve of Paris, I've got the impression that early Christian Saints didn't have the hierarchy like modern priests, nuns and monks. St.Genevieve was an early nun, but she didn't have to live in the abbey or making any private confessions to the priest. Many nuns of the time lived in their regular properties (often with their parents) and focused on prayers and Gospel learning on their own. Also, nuns of that time period didn't have to wear black robes, but only had to wear a special type of a head covering that would differentiate them from other women. St.Genevieve even kept the land she inherited from her family and had the right to keep her money, unlike later nuns who joined the abbeys and had to donate their inheritance to the abbey. Living in the abbey created dangerous situations, because male clergy and male nobility were allowed to be inside the building. Once there was a Pope accused of impregnating a nun and a King of Portugal who basically turned the local abbey into his personal harem.
Thank you!
Why do Christians drop their bibles before reading this? It's only talked about by non Christians
Another issue is the picking and choosing. The Bible says that single women and people without children are the happiest and even has stories of women having their own business (proverbs 31), but traditional people want to act like these parts don’t exist.
Heaving on the picking and choosing, because man will literally pick and choose verse to twist and benefit themselves e.g slavery, misogyny, and other forms of hate
@@tiahnarodriguez3809
The fact that he wants her to give up literally everything just so he can do med school in NY is insane. My boyfriend is pre-med, and he specifically chose to stay in-state for university so that I could go to the school that I wanted to attend and he could still be close to me. He gave up many opportunities because being close to me was more important. I'm his first priority. Every woman deserves a man like that.
That is wonderful! I grew up mormon. I sorta just know I will never have that. Normal healthy men aren't attracted to the religious trauma and it is a part of me that will take a lifetime to heal.
Put in a lot of mormon women have 4 plus kids by 30 and a lot of them realize they will never find a partner that will respect them or love them so they stay.
@@emoryhazel7983 I'm happy for you🙌
I've been a part of a lot of atheist/ex christian communities and forums and there's a common saying "women leave the church to leave oppression behind, men leave the church to avoid consequences"
Many atheist men will say hell is their biggest theological problem. Women often talk about the daughters of Lot.
Face consequences? They run to or away from church to not face consequences.
I just wish Christians (I'll speak of them as I'm part of the community, solely because I'm a fan of Christ) too accountability as serious as they did with forgiveness. In that way many would've have to be manipulated into allowing such behaviors a pass.
very well said
Jen's story really hit home for me because it made me think of our housemaid. Her husband is unemployed and a heavy drinker, and she has three kids (two girls and a boy) to take care of. She works at 10 different homes every single day just to support them, but when she gets home, her husband beats her. She was forced into marriage at 13, even though the legal age in India is 18.
I once asked my dad why she doesn’t try to get help or take legal action. He told me that her family would probably throw her out, the community would reject her and her kids, and the police would just ignore her because she’s poor. It’s heartbreaking.
In the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints my religion, if you abuse your family, any member, you have to answer to God for that and you aren't worthy of participating in Sacred religious things. we also are taught not to even date until we are 16 years old we are also taught to be well educated and self sufficient.
@Hi-jw7oq I know you're trying to bring in positives to your religion, which is questionable to say the least, but I have not only watched multiple shows, documentaries, and real life people who have escaped this religion. The religion is teaching people terrible lessons. The abuse the church allows of both women and children is disgusting. You really need to educate yourself on the dark side of your religion and tell yourself the truth about it.
@@Hi-jw7oq If God was enough, we wouldn't need all the laws to protect people from theft and m#rder... Simple claiming your faith provides protection to women and children and writing it in a piece of paper can't ensure their safety... They have to have enough autonomy to take action themselves, if things go south...
Giving them financial independence is the only way to ensure that.. If your faith isn't providing that, it's a dead deal...
@wnysjournal Same here, our family have had multiple maids in past 20 years, and I live in a muslim majority area, almost all of the muslim maids had abusive husbands, they used to drink and be unemployed...it was mostly the women being breadwinner...
"Abrahamic religions"
allah is NOT a female nor a male he has no gender hope this help! ❤️
What is so ironic to me is that the religious situation is the opposite in India. Many men are leaving their religion (Hinduism) and adopting Abrahamic religions while many women are starting to increasingly embrace their culture. I think it is probably due to the fact that the gods of wealth, knowledge, power, and war are female while the gods of destruction, preservation, and creation are male. Most of the Indian gods are worshipped with their wife's name and to show loyalty to them you have to first take permission from their female counterparts.
Even one of the most famous and worshipped female god i.e. Parvati has 9 forms i.e. Skandamata (mother), Katyayani (warrior), Shailputri (daughter), Chandragantha (protector), Kalaratri (ferocious), Gauri (beauty), bramhacharini (spiritual), Kushamanda (strength), Siddhidatri (feminine half of ultimate god).
Right now, the festival Navratri is going on to celebrate these 9 forms of the goddess. It is the most famous festival in India after Diwali.
Beautiful ❤very interesting
Many Christian missionary groups also are fooling people in the rural areas and giving them incentives to leave Hinduism . I really don't know what people see in Abrahamic religions. Hinduism is in its core a balance of the masculine and feminine. Our Gods are incomplete without Goddesses. The very word for power in Sanskrit is Shakti(Divine Mother)
Indian culture is very interesting…
@@wnysjournal My favourite Hindu Goddess is Sarasvati 👸 She is feminine but conscious, self-aware, rational and possesses knowledge. I think Elle and the besties represent Sarasvati here as we wish to liberate our conscious from false narratives and develop our own knowledge of life. Jai Kali Mata Jai Mata Durga and Adi Shakti mantras are also very powerful if you listen to them. However, the Lakshmi part of the Divine Feminine, that pure innocence, femininity and generosity has been exploited by men too much throughout history.
@@minniemoe4797 This such a good take!! Definitely agreed.
according to faith, men only need to follow god, while women have to follow their husbands and other men in their life. Speaking from experience, following God is much more lenient and open to interpretation than following men
@@maslnaa it’s not even necessarily that it’s “more open to interpretation”, it’s that we’re no longer subject to their interpretation that is typically what dishes out such stringent rules that aren’t even mentioned in the Bible. Because now God is there for you to have a relationship with, not a tool to be used against you.
I don't think yall understand God is still a man. He was created by a man, and what he requires you to do might as well be the same as being told what to do by a random man. Bcs God is a disguise for men to be worshiped.
It's so true,God is much more compassionate than men. Men are the worst critics of women.
So why does God allow this again?
You hit the nail on the head when you brought up how these women question if they’re enough, but the husbands don’t worry about the same. I lived with a paternal figure who was LDS from ages 8 to 11. I remember being baptized in the Mormon church at 8, and being told by missionaries that I was now old enough to go to hell if I died and that’s why I needed to be baptized, and was also told by this paternal figure and members of the church that I would be able to get married at 14 or 15, and my husband would likely be in his 30s, so that I could start having children as soon as possible and beggin my journey as a wife…I know now that’s illegal lol but at 8 years old is was pretty scary. There were some things I loved about the church as a kid, but mostly it was a jarring experience that left me with some trauma. Not to mention most Mormons where I’m from, are racist asf. I’m really glad I was able to get out of that situation by the time I reached middle school. I witnessed and experienced a lot of abuse and grooming. It really messed with my head.
I’m so sorry you went through that. It’s so crazy that we’re out here living “true crime” lives like it’s normal. I’m so glad that so many more people are talking about the truth. It’s so important for people to know that they are not crazy and that they can leave these bad situations. Sometimes it helps to just remember that it’s a whole scam and we legit don’t even have to be part of it. I hope that made sense☠️
@@kaosisosom absolutely 💯 thank you 💜
Mormons love big age differences.
@@amberinthemist7912 but only if the girl is the youngest in the age difference. And the younger the better.
What kind of Bible did they followed?! Jesus Christ didn't baptized until he was 30 years old. He also said Heaven is for the children and that every single kid is innocent and goes to Heaven. Seriously WTF.
The rich controlling “surgeon’s son” husband married “the cleaner’s daughter” because he would always be able to hold “bettering her life” over her; if he married a social equal she wouldn’t put up with quite so much bullying
And he wouldn’t feel like he can get away with it. 💯 him abusing the power he holds.
As a muslim pakistani girl that too being a pushtoon, I've always had a very complicated relationship with religion.
Because on one hand, when I was young the Creator that I believed in was benevolent and otherworldly to the point that it was hard to comprehend 'him' yet I could feel and see 'his' essence all around me. I was very spirituallly connected to nature and basically just floating through the world. I could see and understand most of the commandments that had been ordained. If something bad happened, I would wait and then learn the reason why something like that happened. I would literally joke with 'him' at times when something silly happened.
My relationship with him only deteriorated when other people started imposing what 'his true image' was. The Creator that I believed in and devoted myself to seemed like a whole different being than the one everyone else told me about. It almost felt like there may have been two gods, the one adults told children about who could only be remembered when others loved pointing fingers at others and the one that I felt dwelling just beneath my pulse.
To keep being reminded that no matter how hard I try and remain devoted to 'him', I will never compare to a man. That me being a girl already meant that I was impure and beneath a man. For a girl that was so deeply and profoundly in love with the beauty and wonders of the world created by 'him' for only my eyes to witness just like that of a person who is enamored by a painting drawn by an artist, to keep hearing that somehow I would never be equal to another human being because of something I could never control and had no say in, to say that it felt like I was being flayed alive would be an understatement. A loving Creator that bestowed me the ability to bear life yet considers me dirty for it.
I wonder what wrong I had committed to not only hear from my own teachers, women older than my own mother, tell me that as a girl no matter what I did a man could always do it better and faster. To hear from my own mother that she wished I had been born a boy.
The loss of innocence felt like my soul had been martyred. I know that for alot of women it must be easy to say that God is man-made but what about the ones who did believe in that Creator, and for some reason are so deeply hurt by 'him' and yet still can't let go. Who genuinely still believe that he's not man made yet still has hurt us just as any other man.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. I honestly don't know what to make of what I just said either. It's just that somethings aren't that simple and easy to forget. I have never once and never will ever in my life force people to believe in the same things I do but for some stupid reason it hurts just as much to hear people not understand that religion is a little complicated despite the violence and hate it has sowed.
It's like no matter what a girl does, people have a jard time believing that it doesn't include a man. Why do people believe that a man has any right to be privy to her relationship with 'him'. Can she not do it for herself? At the same time, why judge a woman for her relationship with 'him' yet won't think twice about his own relationship with 'him'. Honestly all of this is jusy exhausting.
Salam, I’m sorry to hear about your experience. I’ve had my frustrations also, but their version of Islam is not correct. You will not enter heaven because of your gender, so their sort of reverence over it is baffling and the Creator is the most just. You have some differences between genders, but your role as a Muslim is the same- to be just, pray, pay charity, if applicable, and speak truth and compassion. May God make things easier for you.
God ≠Religion. God ≠ Culture. Faith≠ Religion. Spiritual ≠Religious. Spiritual ≠Culture.
You can love God regardless of following/ believing your culture!!
Culture is created by men!! Hence, it’s so oppressive…God loves us unconditionally ❤
Publish this somewhere, this is heartbreaking and gorgeously written
This is so beautifully written, thank you for taking the time. If you had changed Muslim to Christian, you would have described my experiences exactly. It's been a long road to find the beauty, love and wonder I knew of God early before all the pain and betrayal of religion came down. Personally, I've found it out of church and religion completely, but I hope you find yours in whatever way is best for you.
@@mhroa1261 Oh that was just beautifully written!
And thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings!
I can relate, though I was actually raised Jewish.
It's learning about God and the amazing world he created for us, out of love for us!
And then learning that the first woman God ever made was tricked into disobeying God, and so now literally EVERY woman is punished because of it.
I was taught God favors women has the holy vessels of life chosen to bare children .... But it hurts like hell because of Eve and the way God designed our bodies to naturally function is "dirty" and "unclean" when we menstruate in order to carry the "life vessels" 🥺
I was between 6-7 years old!!
I couldn't wrap my head around a "loving God" that "cursed" me as a female in the womb!
Didn't make sense!
ALL the occupations dominated by women are the lowest wages in the nation--I've had foreign workers turn down caregiving jobs becuase they think they don't pay enough (average wage for 24/7 care is $5/hr depending on how much family and state force you to work.) Jobs held my women were formerly Unpaid or done by slaves, so our society isn't used to paying women at all and don't care when we are impoverished in certain fields. Avoid all jobs that are bandaids to our broken system and codependent with religions that push the subjugation of women and in some cases such as Opus Dei, actual slavery. Walk away from these low paying jobs until society improves wages and rights for women.
Where? By all accounts there is no laws in America where women cannot work at any job she wants to apply to. There are many women doctors, my doctor is a women, she's tough. Lawyers, etc. Women don't apply for certain jobs. Facts. I went to HVAC school, all men. The instructor said he only had one women take his class. No laws in place but I never see any electricians, plummers, heating and ac technicians. Why? because it's hard labor, climbing ladders, carrying heavy tools. All the occupations dominated by women is because they only go for these types of jobs. I would love to see more women out in these trades but they don't apply. No one is stopping them. I work all over New England and in almost 9 years in the field I have only seen 2 women actively working these jobs. And don't say it's because of pressure from men, the laws are so strict now that you can't even look at a woman wrong for fear that she feels uncomfortable and risk losing your job. I've even worked at a hospital and the President was a woman. It was so strict there that once a guy was fired because he stared at a nurse and she felt uncomfortable.
@@roguecow9632 yesss and and also noticing that every single time we do have women go into these high paying fields, and slowly more and more of them make up that field, all of a sudden the wages decrease. Or when women being pressured to leave a profitable field, and then it’s majority men making up the field the wages increase. We saw this with early computer science where a whole workforce was made up of mostly (underpaid) women (and especially women of racial minorities), once finally being appreciated and seen as useful, suddenly men flood that sphere. They’re paid fair wages. Women are told that they’re not suited for comsci and they’re not built for it, their brains aren’t meant for it, etc. It takes until the 21st century for women and girls to be told otherwise but by then this rhetoric has lived for several generations, and all the men who had been working in that field for years would still believe that old rhetoric, and make existing as a part of a new generation of women in computer science in that sphere a living hell. And those are your superiors and elder coworkers until they retire. And now we can’t remember a field of computer science that isn’t characterized by “techbros”.
Or even now, women are now slowly becoming the majority of medical students and new physicians, and now insurance reimbursement rates are at an all time low, you have to see 60 or 70 patients a day in a hospital in order to make the same amount of money someone would make by seeing less than half that many patients 20-30 years ago, (not accounting for inflation) when the field was mostly men. And it’s like, we’re told, “it’s your fault for choosing low paying jobs, if you want to get paid more, then go to higher paying jobs!” But then when we say “bet” and we do, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. The same thing happened and is still happening with education, and teaching professions, it used to be a predominantly male field, it was respected, women joined that workforce, wages have decreased, and are frankly abysmal now. Men used to be able to support a family on a teaching wage, that’s a dream for women now. Because it’s not like teachers are any less necessary and important now. But women are then told if they want higher wages working in education they should teach in colleges. They go and all they can find are adjunct positions and it’s still mostly men who make up tenured professor positions that are now slimmer and slimmer to come by. This is always what happens!
@@MrJusticeM I worked in an almost all-male field and if I did as well as the men or better at a task, the insecure ones would start hating me. I was very friendly and professional and didn’t try to be one of the boys just do my job. Sometimes they’d bully me to get me out of there or if I tried to defend a man they were bullying. Constant comments on my body being gross or unattractive in earshot. Taking out issues with their wives with me. A lot of men don’t see women as human and it’s upsetting if you perform on their level. Also I had a group of men saying to hr I was too slow to get rid of me - but they tracked our stats and I was the second fastest person, but simultaneously had three jobs when most had one.
I made six figures in that field.
I think you are not that way but there are a lot of men who see women as good for nothing but to dominate snd subjugate. This is why most of corn is so violin t and putting women in their place. I’m proud of the work I did but sad because if I had been a man, those men would have been my friends, not constantly trying to hurt and sabatoge me. And I’ve worked with great men and a few bad women. But almost to the letter, white men about my age hated me. Exceptions with both groups of course. I had a lot of black men respect and advocate for me. Older men usually were better. It’s so weird looking back at it. So this is why women don’t enter those fields.
@@c.v.3025 Wow. So well said. And sad--an indictment against society as a whole for allowing this to happen. We could do so much better if we empowered women as much as we empower men.
The problem is that women are already walking away from some of these jobs, and instead of addressing systemic issues, policy makers are devaluing those jobs further by making it so that any person with a pulse can work them instead of getting the needed training. For example, I worked in education, and some states don't even require a college degree to teach anymore. Even in my home state, I've seen them consistently lower the bar for entry into the profession without raising pay, while simultaneously keeping the expectations for the job the exact same or raising them. It's their way of justifying low pay, while also failing to allow for the creation of comprehensive training programs for educators along with also failing to provide funding and resources to adequately address issues. They literally want educators and students alike to fail so that they can justify privatizing and restricting education and other opportunities so that they don't have to fund it. Sometimes I think that our society would rather fund prisons than schools because no one thinks about the long-term ramifications of making teaching such a devalued career that it results in social collapse. This isn't the only female-dominated field that they have done this for in my state. They have also changed licensing and business requirements for hairstylists, massage therapists, certain medical fields, and other predominantly female professions. Simply walking away does nothing to address the larger systemic problems that are built into these professions. In many ways, walking away makes things worse for society at large. Truthfully, we need teachers, social workers, haristylists, etc. And we need these systems to operate in such a way that they are functional and accessible. Unfortunately, too few people make the connection between systemic problems and labor shortages. Their "solution" is just to fill jobs openings using any tactics needed to keep these systems running for as little cost as possible rather than focusing on the larger issues that keep them from thriving, one of which is assigning a higher value to them.
As a spiritual 50 year old Black woman who grew up in a Christian church which didn’t allow women and girls to wear pants, sleeveless tops, or red lipstick, I am SO proud of the younger generation of women who aren’t putting up with the BS of patriarchy! Your internet auntie supports you. Great video!
Thank you, sending love❤
I'm telling you!
These videos are just absolute GOLD!
Decentering men, deconstructing organized religion and the intersectionality between religious structures and the patriarchal "sin"...
Actually explains a lot about the colonizer mindset too!!!
I'm now connecting the dots!!!
This bestie woke me up!!! ❤❤❤
Something i super resent from my church days, I was alwaaaaays asked/expected to volunteer in the nursery. My husband has never been asked once. Like, he has kids too he needs to do this crap. It's always assumed because I'm female that i want to work with kids. Grrrrrrrrrr
I personally wouldn’t ask a man to watch children either….. weird shit always happens when men are around children
Im pretty sure the guy that created it said that dark skin people are from sàtáñ
Who would've guessed!
yeah , we are black cus god punished us for not fighting on his side 😂
yes and for 20 years or so black people couldn’t have any leadership roles in the church and were told there weren’t allowed to get into heaven because they are inferior. also the guy who created the religion, joseph smith, was openly racist and wouldn’t allow any black people to join mormonism when the religion was formed for many years. they only recently started “accepting” black people into into their religion
As a brown girl. Lolll.
There was a whole debate in the Mormon church on whether or not Black people have souls, and coincidentally it was decided that they do during the civil rights movement. It’s a weird religion that I wouldn’t consider to be Christian.
I grew up mormon in Utah. Many of the breadwinner growing up were the wives. But they pretended it was the husband's. Or they had a business where they did the work. I even saw my friends mom's doing homework for their husband's who were studying at BYU.
The men got to just show up and magically bless us with the priesthood being in the home. They didn't have to do anything. They could study marine biology stay in a landlocked state and have 10 plus kids and the wife would just have to make it work somehow or be replaced.
Like imagine the husband being obnoxious about studying to be a doctor but marine biology and he refuses to leave utah to do it. I knew multiple fathers of 5 plus who were that guy. Their poor wives!
I usually only have these conversations with myself, I really appreciate this so much
real :P
girl same!!
No one could ever convince me that the Creator of the Universe created me to be subservient to a male that my body can create.
Exactly 😂
Oh you ate this like I can literally feel this reshaping my brain omg
I can't recommend "God's Word to Women" by Katherine Bushnell enough to examine how the Bible has been mistranslated and misinterpreted in such a way to subjugate and oppress women. For example, in the genesis story, God created Eve AFTER telling Adam specifically not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Even though Eve acknowledges they weren't supposed to eat to the serpent, one could agrue that dictate was for Adam specifically because God looks for Adam first afterwards. Another example, when God created Eve because he thought it was bad for Adam to be alone, he created Eve as a "helpmeet". Well, the hebrew word translated into "helpmeet" is "ezer kanego". There's some lost in translation here because in the modern context we think of the word "help" "helper" or "The help" as the word "servant" or "assistant", all more submissive, subordinate words/roles, but in the context of the story, "Ezer Kanego" is better translated as "savior" or "rescuer".
The word shows up in throughout Bible 21 times and many of those times, "ezer" is referring to God themself. When a person is a burning house and a fighterfight comes and gets them out of the house, we don't refer to that firefighter as a "helper" or "servant" or "assisant", but we can say that they "helped" them out of the burning house just as you can say they "saved" or "rescued" them out of the burning house.
And there are many instances of mistranslations and misinterpretations throughout the Bible that the patriarchal interpretation takes as the standard.
Interesting, I read a few definitions and what I got was strength or power. Yes I do feel like they made up this translation to make a women feel like the second. Man is first and woman is second. I believe Kanego is suitable and Ezer is strength. A woman can be a man's strength or his down fall. I think of quotes like beside a great man you will always find a great woman. I don't believe a marriage is supposed to be a man just sitting around ordering his wife to cook and clean. I believe a woman and a man compliment each other to build something wonderful. I want a woman to extend my legacy, to be my partner, my companion. I can cook, clean, take care of my house but I can't give birth to my kids. I can't nurture my kids nor can I give them my milk. Women carry the eggs, men bring life to those eggs. Women are the first teachers, man are builders. We compliment each other in differents ways. Yes, we can say that we don't need each other but we do. Man cannot multiply without women, women cannot multiply without man. We make each other better. Sure, you can change your own tires but do you really want too? You can mow your own lawn, carry your own groceries and even fix everything in your house but do you really want too? I'm naturally gifted at fixing things, I can repair anything, cars, ac and heat technician, former Navy aircraft mechanic. Never in my whole life did any woman stop me and said "You know what, I think I'm going to call another woman to do this".
What I'm lost at the last part. What do u mean. @@MrJusticeM
@@RavinaPande I'm just trying to say that the point of us being here on earth together is because we compliment each other. The best teams are men and women. We've done throughout time, it's not always perfect. But when we find our companion, who we can be ourselves, feel safe in each other arms. make each other a better person, respect and comfort each other during times in need. There is no greater connection than a man and a women. Remember men still go off to war and battle for the women we love.
Thanks so much for this recommendation. I’m so excited to read this book. I’m a Christian woman and have always had a problem with submitting to my husband and letting him lead. If I weren’t to take control in my marriage we would be homeless. All of my past relationships were the same where I was forced to be the dominant one out of necessity. Also I have always been the more spiritually strong one who is trying everything to get my husband or past partners on the same page spiritually. Over the past two years I decided to really take a backseat and give my husband the opportunity to lead and he lead us into a financial hole where I lived every single day in paralyzing fear of losing everything. When I think of all the women I know closely every single one of them is the more spirituality strong one who controls the finances and runs the household.
@@MrJusticeM I agree with you. Men and women need each other. We can make do without each other but I don’t think we will fully thrive. I need my husband and he needs me. Without each other our quality of life would be diminished. Today I had car trouble and my husband took care of it. Sure I could learn auto mechanics but I really don’t want to 😅
Lots of Women decided to leave the religion that treats them like an object? Who would've thought
The fact that Jen’s husband is undermining MomTok like that’s not keeping a roof over his head is crazy.
ex-muslim woman here 🙌🏼 I was born a muslim but I left 8 years ago and never looked back. It's surprising how similar these religions are especially in oppressing women and upholding patriarchy no wonder women are leaving them! Btw I love all your videos 💖💖
Actually Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world and more women convert to the religion than men, and the number of people who convert INTO Islam makes up for, and exceeds, the number who leave it.
As a Muslim women my money is mine and my husband financially supports me even though I work. As a Muslim women I have right to divorce. I am not expected to do work around the house and have the right to ask for a housekeeper if I choose. As a Muslim women i have a right to gifts from my husband etc. sorry that you had a bad experience with Islam but don’t act like women are leaving in in droves when many are converting into it. The prophet Mohammed PBUHs last sermon before he died was all about treating women well. ✌️
And there’s nothing similar bw Islam and Mormonism. These Mormon women husbands are taking their money but in Islam my money is mine and my husband helps me around the house meanwhile my non Muslim friends are with men who expect them to pay 50-50 on finances yet do all the household chores and take care of the kids. I know tons of ton Muslim women who exclusively target Muslim men bc of how well they treat women compared to non Muslim men who tend to treat women like men 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Be a free bird ✨️
@@anneross8149You have the right to divorce, yes, but a man can do so solely by his will while a woman has to acquire her husband’s consent before being allowed to divorce. What’s even more unfair is that all that a man needs to do is say “Talaq” 3 times and it’s accepted as valid, while a woman has to go through so many legal and religious procedures. This is an insane difference in power dynamics in your religion.
u most definitely sound like u didn’t grow up in a traditional household. The fact that you DON’T have to do chores says it all. If your husband is expected to be the provider while you virtually have no enforced responsibilities, then you grew up in a non-traditional society or at least rich. That’s not what a traditional Abrahamic religion expects of a woman, ask anyone who’s lived in a non-secular country. Just sounds like you got lucky enough.
And Islam is growing fast, primarily because of high birth rate among Muslim populations worldwide, and capital punishment being enforced for apostasy, so people cannot leave willingly without risking their lives.
I have enough self respect as a woman that I left the church as soon as I turned 18. Why would I follow something that's made by men to opress women? And comments, please spare me with your history lessons, I don't care that religion itself might have been a good thing but it has been misused in the worst way possible by men for like hundreds of years. I believe in facts and not an old fairytale book written by men. Religions did more harm than good and if you need to be religious to have morals or a good person then there's something wrong with you. I feel sorry for all the brainwashed women.
Fully agree. I can't believe religious women still exist in this day and age when religion has badly oppressed women for so long.
@@trishayable religion has never oppressed anyone - it is humans - like you and me - who have done that!
So let's call spade a spade!
@@AmericanDreamer People have used religion as a tool to oppress people. So yeah, religion is still a force of evil on women because it's been used a a tool by men to oppress us. That's why I'll never believe in any religion, especially Abrahamic ones.
I feel like u didn’t watch the video. She mentions how culture plays a role into taking religion (something that’s good) and using it to oppress others (which is a sin) that’s what patriarchy is a sin means. I come from a church where it is expect for women AND MEN to be giving, caring, loving, and respectful towards ppl around you. We have women leaders who are held in high regard in the church. Just because the way how your culture teaches religion doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else. It’s incredibly disrespectful and degrading to call women delusional for following religion because they probably don’t have the same experience as you.
@@AmericanDreamer organized religions have definitely oppressed people because religions are created by men. God, and spirituality in general, are separate entities.
I'm Christian, though I've come to learn the experiences people have with my faith really vary depending on which church they went. What annoys me the most is when people quote the submission versicle and completely ignore everything that the husband is supposed to do for his wife. It's said that the wife must submit to the husband as the church submits to Jesus and that the husband must care for the wife like Jesus cares for the church. You think Jesus is gonna deceive, humiliate, disregard or mistreat the church? No, he protects, guides, loves and literally dies for the church. I'm not saying this to convince anyone, I just wanted to explain how terribly some men use this versicle and twist the entire message behind it leaving only the impression that women are dogs on leashes waiting for an order. I hate that.
Even the dogs do better treated with love instead of fear, while still being allowed to dog (eg: the best way to train a dog not to chew a thing is, when a dog wants to chew, find a chew toy & give it to the dog, along the lines of "no, we don't chew the newspaper, we chew this ball instead, ok???"). Also, 100% this
Thanks I was looking for a proper explanation of this verse and you were spot on❤
I was raised in african muslim household and it was very toxic. I think more than anything its the culture influencing the religion thats a huge problem. When i meet muslims that dont really follow their native culture the vibe is very different.
Nah. I encourage you to study the sharia, quran and hadith better. Culture and religion are intertwined.
No culture is not important. Especially not nonsense toxic patriarch culture. Islam is what we follow, not african, asian or european culture. Allah tells us ”Surely the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous among you.” Doesnt matter ethicity, gender etc. Islam is fully submission to Allah. Not cultures, trends and not to men
@@leveticus1461 it maybe, but it doesnt have to be, you could be a chinese muslim and never wear a thobe in your life, its fine
Wooo girl !! You are freeing a lot of women . Thank you 🙌🏼💜
Once again we get to witness the critical genius of this woman's timely insight!! You're such a gem, Elle, and we love it here 🤍 Have a blessed day!
I was raised Mormon from birth. It was a living HELL for me through my teenage years until I left. I prayed to *not wake up* because I was at such a mental low from the teachings, the punishments in order to repent, and the scrupulosity OCD it breeds. As my brain developed more and I thought critically, I saw the mistreatment of non-white people, women, LGBTQ+ people and so on. I wish my family would see through the shit and truly understand why I left. But no, the church leaders tell them to "not seek counsel" from those who are not active members. Despite the grieving process and having to go low contact with my family, leaving was worth it!
Stay strong! 💛
Who woulda thunk that years later, as a former Jehovah's Witness, raised from birth, I could relate to you through this comment so deeply. The OCD, oh my god THAT PART. Constant mental policing and the fear of straying out of bounds... 😂 lol we used to call you guys Mormies as a kind of off-color joke, at least in my neck of the woods in the deep South, JWs and Mormons were seen as natural enemies of a sort. We were also "strongly encouraged" not to do any research outside of Witness material ie propaganda as I now know it. I left when I saw the hypocrisy from elders and some members in my congregation, and the conflicting instructions given to me when I began to stray. Then I did some real research and it was a done deal for me. Lost contact with my family because of that. But I never ever for a moment regretted leaving. It's been one of the best decisions I've made for myself 😊 It fills my heart to hear you've gotten away from that hell and had the courage to do it anyway. It sure is different from the other side huh? ❤ I send my love and respect your way sis ❤❤❤ I know it isn't easy, and that's not even including what I don't know with regard to what you went through with the Mormons that I didn't.
Oof thats a lengthy comment sorry about that! Lotta sh*t from that life 😂
0:10 I remember 2 Mormon men tried to recruit me lol
This is soo sad my heart goes out to these women 😢
They're turning their pain to power 💪 Divine Feminine rising 🐦🔥
15:14 zack was front and center on the show bc he doesn’t have a job. he’s always home 🤣
Oh but as soon as he actually gets on in his career...
He'll forget about everything she did to get him there! 🙄
@@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066yep! That’s why it rarely pays to be the girlfriend of a med student. So many women get dropped after years of helping them and paying for them once they’re established.
@@LoveK1 oh I was a CNA at nursing home) rehabilitation center and I've seen it a lot!!
They first start trying to cheat with the nurses, assistants and students!!
"the only way to control men is through fear" why do you think Dante's Inferno was written? XD
If someone uses that philosophy then everyone else will claim fair game.
That concept of God fearing men makes so much sense the way you explain it. I couldn't understand why people had to fear God in order to be good or kind to others, especially to women. If people can't understand how to treat people well without having a God to tell them how to treat people, that's a problem. It should be a no brainer to treat people, regardless of gender, with kindness and respect.
Manifetelle. I’m a Bible nerd. I love studying the anthropology, history, and context of the Bible. You have mentioned some legitimate theories from biblical scholars. This video rules!
There is no getting around how misogynistic the Abrahamic books are.
you should actually read one of those books for yourself instead of listening to gossip about them!!!!
See the comment above too!
@@AmericanDreamerI read the quran, the old testament, and new testament, and yes they are absolutely misogynistic
as an ex-muslim woman I AGREE it's just very ingrained in the teachings
@a-6t6h Because if she or you had read it really and fully for yourselves, there's no way you would arrive to such conclusions! Very simple and has nothing to do with opinions!
@a-6t6h Or maybe you do the cherry-picking kind of reading without actually reading the context and the whole chapter but just grabbing one sentence here, one sentence there and voila! - opinion on steroids ready! That's not how you read a book!
I was forced into marriage by my Mormon parents underage to an X Scientologist (you have to be truly evil to be kicked out of Scientology as a "supressive" person!). He was truly evil. He looked for a Mormon wife because of how we are conditioned to enslave ourselves to our husbands. He abused and literally tortured me and my family not only stood by, but HELPED him! My life was smexual and financial slavery.
This is so heartbreaking to hear 💔 i hope you’re doing so much better now
@@김레아-j6b thank you.
This ones getting bookmarked...Excellent work Elle! I've known this for years, but could not put it so eloquently in words
Woow, so many things click in my head right now! Thank you for creating this space and make us think about it!
How is this one day ago?
@@sparkyblue7016 haha creepy. A glitch in the matrix 😱
@@sparkyblue7016 I swear I saw this video 2 days ago! And it had like 9 hrs since it was uploaded (I saw it directly from the video list)
Patriarchy is a sin! Louder to the people at the back 📢📢📢
I've been feeling so bad for leaving the church but this actually healed my soul. I've never felt so understandood. Thank you ❤
Im honestly a firm believer in if religion wasn't a thing the world would be a better place that's just me.
Its not about religion but the character of the people which they use religion to mask. Just letting you know I am a firm believer in not forcing religion on to people but many people misinterpret religion on purpose but I personally love my religion since it brought justice to slaves and women (Islam) at it times but now people are doing the opposite of the religion like banning women to speak in Afghanistan.
Religion has been used by toxic people as a scapegoat for their selfishness.
@jenosmart7295 what I'm saying is that these problems would've never even existed if religion wasn't a thing. It is the catalyst and you can't disagree that life wouldn't be better for so many people if these ideologies were treated as just that and not a fact.
I disagree, obviously some religions might have flaws, but if everyone didn't believe in life after death, I'm pretty sure more than half of the population would have depression. religion is often the only thing that motivates certain people to be good.
I disagree. Religions aren’t the problem, selfish people are. If religions didn’t exist, selfish people would still exist and would still hide behind other benign institutions to do whatever they want for their own gratification and gain, even at the expense of others.
Even now, people do hide behind their respectable jobs, their high socioeconomic status, their philanthropic activity, and even their marital status in order to do whatever they want at the expense of others.
I’m so glad you’re tackling this. Too many non Christian men abuse tf out of submission. No your girlfriend isn’t obligated to submit to her boyfriend.
And even if he’s your husband..what if his decisions are bringing your family to financial ruin 😩
Why are you leaving out the Christian men...😂
@@mamadoom9724 Pick a side. one minute you are talking about how you need your husband WHILE telling us you would be homeless if YOU didn't take over.
@@annjohnson4061 well we are barely making it with both of our incomes. He doesn’t bring in nearly enough but I definitely can’t do it on my own either. He also couldn’t do it on his own.
Raised Mormon here 🙋♀️. Not practicing. I'm over religion.
Also, my ex, Catholic, would try to pressure me into forgiving him for all kinds of stuff because *religion.*
I told him he had a conflict of interest and he was the very last person I would listen to on the concept of forgiveness.
Currently watching a friend self-flagillating because of *religion.*
I'm so tired of this nonsense.
I was raised in a muslim family and in my family girls are not not even supposed to be involved in any decision making. All decisions are taken my men and we are just expected to obey it. I feel like a begger asking men in the family for every small thing and waiting for their approval even though i am an adult. Though i was Incouraged to go to the university but it dint changed my social status as an inferior gender.
My life is already ruined but I promise that I will never ever let my children go through the same thing. I will give my daughters equal freedom and rights and to my daughter in law as well. This barbarism in my family will end with me
With all recpect to your experience this is not the norm in Islam that's cultural beliefs that people tied to religion when they are not. Now I don't know how you view religion now, but I'm glad you're breaking the cycle and not going to treat your future daughters like the way you were treated and I believe we can all find the good in that
@@jennaanot.- with all due respect, I wish it wasn't a religious problem but unfortunately it is. Isl@m along with all other religions, gives men the highest authority as "head" Of the family and women's duety is to obey them
Those who think otherwise are pure delusional because this is one thing common in all religions and mentioned VERY clearly without any room for misconception.
It's so clearly mentioned that even a child can read and understand it. Still religious ppl keep trying to defend it.
In isl@m women are just a farm for men. While women can be cursed by angels even for refusing sx with her husband. Basically she isn't even considered human enough to have authority over something as sensitive as sx.
Even sl@very is legal in this faith. It literally broke my heart into pieces when I came to know about these disgusting things. Not to mention, the repeated attempt to justify pedophilia is just unbelievably painful
@vp-lv6yk delusion is people thinking that culture and religion are tied the thing that made women a farm for men was Muslim men not islam and I feel like we don't acknowledge that enough.
Slavery is not "legal" in Islam, and you can ask anywhere and it will tell you nowadays there is no slavery in Islam and even back then when slavery was the norm across the world islam didn't adopt the modern slavery which is "treat them like they're less, they're are objects, they can't eat the same food as you, marry the same people as you, let alone be humans, they can't be freed unless sold to someone else" which btw Islam doesn't adopt ANY Of those beliefs and slowly is illegalized slavery all together.
Now for the pedo "claims" please this is so overboard. This claim has been debunked multiple times at least in Islam, the age and life-span are not the same as today. People 2000 years ago did not live as long as we do, didn't mature at the same age as we do, please research into that matter and if you don't, at least don't throw misinformation
I think we can agree that religious people are not perfect and they never will be because they are humans but religion (here I'm obviously talking about Islam) is perfect, there is not a single "claim" against Islam that hasn't been debunked SEVERAL times, while other abrahamic religions still run away from some loopholes against their religion.
Oh my gosh, mom, thank you so much for raising me without religion! ❤ 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I can't find a religion that loves women.
Yup.
I am Hinduism and my religion does love women but our people surely doesn't follow it as it's a choice to read religious book or not and many people of our religion choose not to do
As we worship female god and belive our gender, money doesn't decide who we are but it's our intelligence determined who we are
Contrary to what the media and racists say, Islam loves women 🤷🏼♀️ in fact more women convert to Islam than men do. The Prophet Mohammed’s last sermon prior to his death was about respecting women and treating them well.
In Islam my money is mine. Even though I work my husband covers all finances because in Islam, a man has no right to his wife’s money. A wife is also not expected to do anything around the house and has the right to request that her husband hires help for the house. In my case my husband helps me. Meanwhile my non Muslim friends split finances 50/50 with their husbands YET their husbands expect them to do all the housework and childcare.
In Islam I have the right to divorce. In Islam we’re told that heaven lies at the feet of a mother. We’re also told that daughters are gifts and that raising them is also an entryway into heaven. In Muslim countries men who rape women or kids are executed on the spot unlike America where we release them back into society.
When I got married my husband got me gold amongst other gifts, which is also common amongst Muslims (at least Arab Muslims)
Etc. Islam protects women and anytime we see “Muslims” treating women wrong just know they’re not Muslim and are instead using Islam as a scapegoat and are confusing culture with Islam because as a Muslim women, I can attest to the fact that Islam protects women and treats them with dignity.
@@abhaupadhyay2938 The Manusmriti: This ancient Hindu text contains many passages that promote gender inequality and discriminate against women. For example, it states that women should be dependent on men, and that women who are not under the control of men are dangerous.
Dowry: In some Hindu communities, the practice of dowry, where the bride's family is expected to provide a substantial sum of money or property to the groom's family, can contribute to the devaluation of women and the perpetuation of gender inequality.
Restrictions on women's roles: In some Hindu communities, women are expected to fulfill traditional gender roles, such as staying at home, caring for children, and performing domestic duties. This can limit women's opportunities for education, employment, and personal growth.
Female infanticide and sex-selective abortion: In some areas, the preference for male children has led to practices like female infanticide and sex-selective abortion, which contribute to gender imbalances and perpetuate gender discrimination.
26:32 Can we get a round of applause ??! This is so true !! Never said it in a while but “Amen ! Preach girl !!”
I grew up as a Mormon, then at 18 I joined the Navy and left my home. The chance to get away from that environment and travel helped me ultimately leave that church. It takes years and several different phases of life to undo the religious programming that I carried with me even after not stepping foot in that church for a long time.
Elle this is one of your best and most educational videos, thank you!!!
Literally thinking the same thing!
As a Muslim, I appreciate this content; it is enlightening and eye-opening. The perspectives I've encountered here were much needed!
I just went on a deep dive of Mormonism and now my fave RUclipsr put out a video? Today is blessed.
18:04 AGREED, and this is especially necessary to have for autistic women who need more social acceptance and support. They/we need more people in their lives who genuinely care for them, wanna help them, without forcing masking.
I'm 33, I'm from the LDS church never married, the adequate name for what you guys call "Mormonism", many women pressure themselves to marry young, because they think it's the way to go. Some people marry because of social pressure, I have overcome that. I have been proposed marriage and when I find out why, these men come up with answers as, making it seem as it is pre destined. I wasn't feeling it and then I ended it. Most women have been divorced, some are un happy, and very few counting with my hand are genuinely happy. The Hulu series just provides a one sided part of the culture, which needs more exploration, most Mormon women live normal lives, they aren't rich or YT
AMAZING CLASS AS ALWAYS BESTIE! I read something the other day about a conversation between two women. One was telling the other that she felt as though she had no time to pursue God because she was so busy taking care of the house, her family, her work. The woman felt guilty, until her friend told her that it is the MEN that need to seek out God- go to the desert, go into the sea, climb the mountain. God COMES to women wherever we are because we are inherently connected to divine creation. This gave me so much peace, and I hope it makes my other girlies feel good too.
First thing that came into my mind when i saw the video was "Nara Smith" and then all the comments that i read and said "if you dislike Nara you are sexist,you are not girls girl,you just hate her because she chose different path" came into my mind.. Why should I be girl's girl to a girl who is not a girl's girl? Why should i stick up and speak well of a woman who promote ideas that are harmful to women and thankfully to them sexism and oppression stay fresh and alive and continue to exist and thrive lol?
She's a model.
…Are you confusing her for Estee? Nara Smith and her husband are both models and working... She just really enjoys to cook and dressing uber feminine but I don’t recall her shaming other women for liking different things, or tells how women should live traditional lives…. Unless your only problem with her is her just existing, then yeah the comments are right to call you out on it.
Estee is the famous SAHM tradwife dressed as a 1950s pinup model that shames women for not living similarly, claiming motherhood should be the priority of every woman, defers all her decisions to her husband and “never talks back” (which is why she overcompensates by policing other women), and isn’t a “girl’s girl” in general.
She has never perpetuated sexism she just cooks. U r the problem
Nara Smith just likes to cook and wear dresses. She is NOT a trad wife nor is she pretending to be, because she's a working woman (high fashion model). You are sexist because why are you putting her in the "trad wife" box when she never claimed to be one, she doesn't promote any harmful ideas, and doesn't put down other women?
I LOVE your videos on religion. They’re honestly so insightful. I consume other Bible scholarship, but you’re covering an angle I don’t see represented elsewhere. The part about the “original sin” being top-down patriarchy was genuinely mind-blowing.
The thumbnail caught my attention, the title made me laugh (and watch). Before I do I'll just leave this here: I'm also glad I'm not Mormon (anymore). The racism, inconsistencies in doctrine, "pay to participate", the classism, having to closet myself to keep the peace, being told my existence was fundamentally wrong.
I'm now on the other side having unlearned a lot of the bs, and am working through the religous trauma. I didn't leave to sin, I left because that "church" reduced me to a husk of my former self and I'm glad to have me back! Thank you for reading my novel 😅❤
how are you not at 1 million subscribers yet? you deserve it. your videos are always so eye-opening. you are a breath of fresh air.
I grew up in Mormon religion and knew it was BS when I was old enough to comprehend the "teachings." I've watched several friends fall out of it, and only 3 of my friends are still sucked in. But honestly, I'll give it 5 more years. I believe in their intelligence.
I feel the same with Islam. Did you know a women’s word is seen as inferior in islam.
Its easy to get swayed with your iman if you dont have a firm understanding of the belief and who Allah is. If you knew of Allah and his mercy, you would never accuse Him of being ”unequal” or ”patriarchal”. Because Allah says ”Surely the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous among you.” Doesnt matter if its a man or a woman. Its not worth losing your relationship with your creator. Learn islam from the actual source not from uneducated people
@@ApricotMint fool someone else with that that foolishness 🙄
Girl, liberate yourself from that misogynistic cult asap
@@minasana-be2jkI dont need to convince you sis, or anyone. Not everyone is supposed to die a muslim
@@ApricotMintLOL! 😂😂😂 And yet here you are in a women's comment section trying to convince us of the benevolence of your religion. Save it! I dated a Muslim man so I'm familiar with what their teachings actually mean in daily life and practice.
I realize that maybe not all Muslim men are as toxic as my ex was, but Islam's teachings did no favors to my ex's mental health since he was schizophrenic.
Thank you for making a deep dive into my religion. As an 19 year old young woman, I see the patriarchal norms and misogyny buried in this religion with priesthood power used by men and women always have to be submissive to the priesthood. I recognized it is a highly organized religion full of rules (some benefit me) and others are uptight and suffocating. The culture emphasizes women to be quiet and submissive to husbands never sit right to me. I vow to never be like that. As long as I live and breathe, I will dismantle patriarchy and I am starting by fully prioritizing my education (pharmacy school) rather than marrying early in the temple or serving a mission (yes even being a women church culture, people and leaders will force you to go on a mission even a patriarchal blessing will ask you go on a mission even if prominent church leaders emphasized its optional to go the heavy pressure is more inclined to men which is mandatory priesthood duty but STILL i am asked when willl i go on a mission and my actions are stubborn as I am practical. I choose my education, future career, livelihood, financial independent first. I will not allow myself to be controlled and manipulated especially by my religion. I recognize that it has cult aspects and I am detaching from it. Living the law of wisdom and chastity makes my life better and helps me stand out not following the crowd but the reality of being unequal to men with rampant misogyny and patriarchal norms is displeasing with the pressure to go on a mission i don't want to go. I don't want to spend 19 months in my life going around people about the church when i myself are uncomfy of some aspects of the church why would i go out of my way to be like salesperson and achieve a sales quota of getting members to be baptized when i feel conflicted of my beliefs? I will NOT conform to the pressure and mission. I am different and i set my own path. Pharmacy school allows me to be free and education will always be my bestfriend along with financial independence. I am not sacrificing education. I may be detached from church aspects, but not from Jesus Christ. ❤ I go to church for the Savior and not because of the imperfect religion organization hence that's why I'm still active.
Take your name off the records. Be free.
I respect your decision to remain for your faith. It must be difficult navigating your life trying to maintain your truth.
Yes! Do religion YOUR way!
@@alishabee369 if i take my name off the records, i would be under scrutiny of my father and i will become a ward project for missionaries and a subject of meetings held at ward council. I hold a calling of young women adviser so it may not be a good example of them. My father is the biggest factor of pushing this religion to me and i cant push away my father because he is an important man in my life and guided me well to be a decent woman in a world full of bad stuff such as no vices, etc. What I hate is him forcing me to go on a mission. I don't like it. Even my patriarchal blessing says I should go but my desires are only pharmacy school to become a successful pharmacist. My father and church members always ask when i should go on a mission or compare me to other youth who went. I know what i want and its not mission. I know God is proud of me for choosing education but with y father and filipino church culture it is SUFFOCATING. I feel stuck. I can't leave either because it's a big loss of my identity i feel like I need a licensed psychologist for therapy because I only rely on my university's guidance counselor as of now. My mother is not a member she is catholic and even though she is pressured by dad or others to be a member, she didn't. I took inspiration from that. I feel conflicted and stuck due to parents' different religions and how mormonism is very dominant in my life due to my dad's influence.
@@kaosisosom thank you! I sometimes feel conflicted because some of my personal principles are not aligned with church doctrine but i value my principles and detach from the church. I just go to church for Jesus because the church organization is messy, imperfect, flawed and cultish type
I really have a problem with the expression a god fearing man is a good man. Because it means that there is no man who is good, but he only does good because he is afraid of consequences. That is not true there are many good men who are atheists and there are many evil religious men but the thing about religion is that evil men can hide behind it.
yeah I actually prefer a non-religious man over a religious one
@@nanomiathe religious men feel very predatory and groomy for some reason. the indoctrination really shines through when you get to see how they see women, which is always below themselves. when youre valued as less than a child, expected to put in the work of an octomom and viewed as a lustful object it just makes me sick
Woman continued to commit sin of Eve when they submitted to men
What a powerful word , what a true mouthpiece.
Dr. Beth amazing line....enlighting.
growing up baptist and now reading the bible with a different lens has been one of the most eye opening experiences in my life. your sources and perspective really help me on this journey of understanding even though i’m not religious anymore, just curious about the world we live in!
Omggg the way it connected back to how we need to actually actively AVOID patriarchal men - that's their biggest fear - abandonment - to finally be free omggg and to finally actually save the world. It's so so amazing how it connects all back and even to movements like 4B. Now that's God's work. That HAS TO HAPPEN. ON A LARGE SCALE. I LOVE IT
I am currently in med school. When I needed to wait for an answer from my uni applications my boyfriend made clear from the start that he would move with me no matter where I would be accepted. He has a very low paying job despite getting a proper education and being incredibly smart, he is just not a competitive person and very mindful. Luckily I also got into a scholarship. I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
The nuances in this video is amazing because it’s created through curiosity driven by compassion. I love that you really believe no women should be left behind and understanding each other and these systems is a the way to freedom. I’m really going to digest this for a minute.
This is why i am not religious
People always forget that part in the Bible were it says “ husband submit to your wife, wife submit to your husband.” This way men get all the attention, support etc is overly wrong. Even it wasn’t written down it should emotionally and logically feel bad. Religions should know by now nothing survives without women even the amount of people in your pew.
I grew up Mormon, and I’ve been out for about five years now. Time and time again I would hear that Women WERE pornography. Like, their mere existence was sinful.
Yeah, and people wonder why I left.😒
I have to admit though, this channel means the WORLD to me, it has helped me deconstruct so many of the teachings I grew up with and actually be happy with who I am. I felt so much shame simply for being a girl growing up. Now? I feel good about myself. I know what I deserve. I am me and anybody that truly wants me will be happy to pay the price of my companionship.
@@seraphseye yeah, I’m Christian, I still have my faith and hold it as the most important thing in my life, but dear Lord if there was any time or anyone that ever made me wonder “what is this? What is my faith?” Was when, at the tender age of 13, I heard my pastor at my old church say “all men want is sandwiches, smex, and silence,” in front of dozens of people at Sunday service and there was audible agreement and laughing from the men.
… Yeah. I no longer go to that church, thank you, Jesus, but literally no one makes women question their faith more than sexist men.
As a former catholic who turned to witchcraft, I LOVE the interpretation that patriarchy is the original sin, but I'm afraid most christians (catholic or not) are not ready for this conversation...
I used to be Mormon , I feel so much shame being a black Mormon . That church is not for us.
Yay queen uploaded
It's so, so wild that Zac's family isn't helping with their son.
I think it says a lot, but I do wonder at the why’s
Thank God, I'm Hindu!
My pastor talked about how disgusting and sinful adultery was and when I tell you most men in that church were FURIOUS and threatened to go to another establishment where they would be “accepted.” Smh
Do you have an Amazon list or blog listing these books you read for your video essays? Going to start reading them. So interesting!
I take screenshot every time she recommends and then find the books on Amazon or Spotify. ❤
Oh I hope so! I love when I get good book recommendations from videos like this. Really gives a lot of extra valuable insight.
I’m not Mormon, but I grew up in a similar environment. My family are strict Christians, and as the oldest of nine siblings, I’ve witnessed firsthand the harmful effects of teachings about “biblical womanhood.” These beliefs have left many women in my community either deeply indoctrinated or, in some tragic cases, driven to take their own lives. We were denied access to devices, as they were seen as tools that could expose women to "worldly influences." The men were taught how to find and control submissive wives, while the women were taught to submit entirely to their husbands, following every command. We were also raised to believe that having as many children as possible was not just a duty, but our sole purpose in life.