Best HFY Reddit Stories: You Don't Kill Larvae (r/HFY)
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- Never, ever go after the children of humanity...
An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/TheAusNerd
Original Post: / you_dont_kill_larvae
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#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan
Bugs: we killed few meatsacks we found
Humanity: *screetches in exterminatus*
"Why am I suddenly hearing boss music? Is it just me or is anyone else hearing this?"
@@Paddydukes89 New target may the emperor guide my bullet. Let me slay his enemies with righteous fury. Amen
@@Paddydukes89 *Autistic screeching intensifies in the background*
Welp, get the buzzaxe.
We were gonna kill anyway.
But now that you're braggin, we're gonna make it hurt
For the EMPEROR
*”C O W A B U N G A I T I S”*
Humanity in a nutshell
@@dreadedpixel9022 true
i'm gonna ye your haw
@@robinchwan "You've yee'd your last haw."
Moral of the story: If you are going to attack an alien spaceship, make sure it's not a human schoolbus
Or don't attack random spacecraft.
So that's why the Magic School Bus is no longer on TV! 🤣
@@justsoicanfingcomment5814 oh please, this is kind compared to what Ms. Frizzle would have done to them if they had attacked HER kids.
Ayup
@@rolkflameraven1483 not to mention she's a time lord
TLDR: Bugs interrupts field trip and Gets hammered by Spess Mehrines!!!
Ouch... poor magic school bus...
@@Schregger we shall honor the magic school bus memory by our indiscriminate use of nuclear detonations.
Abhor the Witch, Burn the Heretic and PURGE THE XENO!!!!!!!!
I thought those were mechs,
@@hazydoom69 Dear lord what do they do to deserve such a horrible fate Ms frizzle jr with literally just taking them on a trip around the universe
Didnt deserve to be murdered by a bunch of war ready spacebugs
FYI you kill human children and prepare to feel the wrath of 20000 years of warfare experience directed at you.
we've been fighting each other since the dawn of time itself we know what we're doing and where bloody good at it
On the blood of our fathers, on the blood of our sons, rip and tear until it’s done...
Not the best idea introducing yourself to humanity by eating a space school bus.
Mrs. Frizzles Last Trip
Rest in Peace
Well what were they doing flying on the edge of human space that seems like they were asking for something bad to happen. lol
@@lenschwedt9646 ooooooo
@@erikmckoul2478 possibly we’re on a school trip or something and stopped on the planet to refuel, or get supplies or something
I would think a species like this would be able to 'promote' it's lesser forms to fill any gaps in the hierarchy. Even bees can do that
The whole hive was nuked, there's nothing left to promote.
@@maximsavage I'm sure cockroaches are fine.
@@hazydoom69 I get that you're joking, but while cockroaches are quite good at surviving radiation, they can't survive the warhead's blast itself, or the void of space, for very long.
@@hazydoom69 it’s pretty difficult to live while being a carbon stain at top of smouldering irradiated glass
@@elijahaitaok8624 Quite the bummer is it not?
Clarification, you don't kill human children, nuking bug children apparently is fine.
Ahh no it was kill kids and get used in an assassination plot
Egg laying animals don't care about their young anywhere near as much as placental mammals do
Only in retaliation for the afore mentioned kid killing. Seriously context matter
They are not children, they are weapons in the making.
@@manofironthathasntturnedcr9817 They're sentient, being alien insects does not make them any less children. An understandable act of vengeance though.
This the intergalactic and thermonuclear version of the Russian Badger quote "I use buckshot for roaches"
Wait did the aliens attacked children at the start? Like kids that were in a field trip?
Yes, they essentially ate a school bus.
@@maximsavage a Okay thank you for telling me
Imagine a gang flags down a school bus full of kindergartners (who are on a field trip to the local planetarium) and then slaughters all the kids inside. That’s pretty much what happened here.
@@Enneamorph Well I would like to know why the heck a school bus needed to be at the edge of human space.
@@erikmckoul2478 They said it. They were there to see the galaxy, the planets and stars. It was literally a school trip for kids to see the universe, and they got dunked on by bugs, who then proceeded to Fortnite dance thinking they had bested the best humanity had to offer.
Alien hive to humans: does the Geneva convention still apply?
Humans: *Sorry you committed War crimes first*
I imagine all the bugs screaming: FOR THE QUEEN! FOR THE OPRAH!
everyones ragging on you for mis pronouncing proboscis, when its really chitin (Ky-tin not chit-in) you make an error on (a perfectly reasonable error, but one that is ACTUALLY an error)
Ok I can't tell if this was inspired more by Destiny or Starship Troopers, from details of personality to physical structure I'm torn between the two settings
War hammer 40K
@@bennnymiddleton40 Not that I'm doubting you, I'm, just curious about why you say 40K as my only real experience with it has been the series about the GOD EMPEROR getting a text to speech device
@@truekurayami there’s a whole lot more to 40K than just the god emperor, nearly anything space related can fit into 40K if it’s bleak and about humans fighting things and being racist to aliens
Yes, all of the above and far more.
@@bennnymiddleton40 Agreed. I definitely got Astartes vibes from the description of the human soldiers.
Do “The Ambling Sapient” it’s really good.
"Let them come!"
Oh Dear... Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. You sweet, summer child.
Fleet Command, this is Schoolbus actual. We're gonna need a galactic size bug spray over here.
I assure you the tyranids in the thimb nail have plenty of larva. Your right though, you don't take they're larva. Theyre generous enough to give it to you straight from their own bodies.
Cruisin' on down Main Street
You're relaxed and feelin' good
Next thing that you know you're seein'
Your classmates cut down by some bugs!
O N T H E M A G I C S C H O O L B U S !
Yep, that is something I can easily see happening.
moral of the story...
if you want to roll with 'might makes right chosen ones yada' ....remember you just given all others free reign to play those cards onto you themselfs...
neat huh
"you don't kill kids you fucking bug" he said, before detonating a nuke in the middle of what is soon to be the largest orphanage in the universe
Awesome video
Announcer: Nuclear launch detetced
Nuke the space bugs!
Reeeeeeeeeeeee
Galactic law #1: Do not fuck with Humanity.
Galactic law #2: DO NOT FUCK WITH HUMANITY
NUKEM’ RICO!!
Sound like he was captured by the black Templar
Haha bugs go squish
This story sounds like it takes some inspiration from Enders Game.
This story brought to you by "Black Flag" insecticide. When you need bugs dead.
Buttons and oh
Chitin is actually pronounced kite-in
For fucks sake! Chitin should be pronounced as "Kyten"!
??? assmilated ??? i didnt hear the i in assimilated
Proboscis is a very easy word to get correct. Probiosis means nothing. You do this very often.
Done
Peak FAFO...
Are these references to astartes?
"Deeeaaar humanity, we regret being alien bastards, we regret coming to earth and we most certainly regret that the core just blew off our raggedy ass fleet!"
oorah
@@rnukes More enthusiasm soldier!
@@thehatter9400 OORAH
@@rnukes OUT FUCKING STANDING SOLDIER!!
OOHRAA
"Remember kids, the rules of the Geneva Convention don't apply if your enemy breaks them first!"
You mean the geneva suggestions
@@lee-jj1jsyou are mistaken. You are talking about the Geneva checklist
@@t1tanfallpr025 Exactly, they're called HUMAN rights for a reason 😂😂
"The only good bug is a dead bug"
that also includes virtual bugs as well
Would you like to know more?
@@griffinwindom5533 Sad bugs that makes stuff better noises
@@theredknight3736 i keep the good ones alive
@@griffinwindom5533 Good choice
I know what the super solider was saying to the other when he was holding the bug "It's Afraid"
I think they were piloted mechs, or space marines, not super soldiers.
@@LibertyMonk space marines are super soldiers
“As it should be.”
@@LibertyMonk we know that they are comparatively small to the non-soldiers, so a much larger space marine would fit the "goliath" description
Oh man, the nostalgia from this entire comment section.
Bug kills child. Man : "I'm gonna start killing you now. I don't know when I'll stop."
Unrealistic, Miss Frizzle would have handled them all on her own
"Mental image of miss Frissle handing out energy weapons"
"Okay kids! Today we're going to learn about filthy xeno biology!"
I feel like she wouldn’t even need to go that far. The lesson would simply change from a study of the stars to a tour of a living aliens anatomy.
Meanwhile, alien’s all, “What is this? Where has the vessel gone? Mind Driver! Get me a new sensor reading!”
them aliens about to learn the true meaning of being in an american school
To be fair, she also took the class to get ejaculated on by a fish once…
Kids today we learn that the Genova convention only applies to humans
Maybe one day other races will learn that humans really, reaaaaly hate it when you kill those who cannot defend themselves. And that doing such actions leads to making humans angry. But not this time.
Oh, I'm sure other races learned. *Someone* had to eventually find a pile of irradiated flesh-slag floating in space.
@@SetzerII Maybe, but unless there was some telltale sign as to who was responsible for it. Then the xenos will learn.
That’s like the only rule everyone can 100% agree to in a war if they can’t defend themselves then you don’t hurt or kill them
@@jacobfoss7783 giant sign that says "humies were here"
@@kalebb1226 I can see some random humans on a ship leaving a sign like that behind if not as a warning then to leave the xenos confused and afraid
The only way to deal with bugs exterminatus
They're lucky the Salamanders weren't sent. They'd have done it personally.
Salamander kids are born with hand flamers, they'd have put up more of a fight.
Salamanders are your best of friends until you committed war crimes
read the Ender Wiggin series, it is literally all about this. A Hive species makes contact with humanity and wipes out a planet of theirs thinking its an invasive colony. The concept of it is actually beautiful, a hive queen is the sapient core of its cluster while a human is a sapient sentient, meaning that killing one human is like killing a hive queen. What the species thought it was doing was repelling scouts, drones, and workers, but it realized soon that what it did was far worse. It killed countless queens.
Oooh interesting af
Dey have awoken de devil click click
You really need to reread that series. They invaded Earth, not some random colony. We were fighting them with fighter jets ffs.
@@chrisdufresne9359 can you think?
@@pathlogic8650 He's right. Both the first and second Formic Wars consisted of humanity fighting and killing Formic colony ships that were trying to terraform and colonize Earth.
I had to look at the text to see what you actually said when I heard: "worlds, were a smelly tit." And then I was like, OH. Assimilated. Haha! I don't listen too good.
Love your narrations, but just a bit of mild constructive criticism: the word "proboscis" is pronounced pro-bos-kiss. Otherwise, 10/10
Where do you get the k-sound from? Tried searching, but Google wants it to be pronounced as the Narrator did.
@@juliustegelhus7822 ok so I had to double check it make sure I wasn’t a complete fucking idiot giving out false information, and it turns out I’m only half an idiot. I found several sources saying it the CIS way, and several saying it the KIS (one nat geo video had 2 different scientists say it differently) so I guess both are acceptable? The wiki seems to have both pronunciations listed as well. Weird, never heard to pronounced that way before honestly.
Proboscis is one of those potaeto potahto words
The one that's bothering me is chitin. It is pronounced kai-tin
To be honest I've also only ever heard it as that, too, but knowing both are correct is good.
But the other one that got me was chitin. I only pronounced it that way in Elementary/Middle school because I never heard it spoken, but I saw it written. [Starcraft]
Personally I think mankind should have waged full blown war as opposed to exterminatus. Give the bugs some time to realize how outclassed they were
While it sounds fucking awesome. That would be a drain on resources.
@@vinyak123rohatgi and would allow some of them to get away.
Men would be lost, resources wasted, and a long drown out war with a race of of creatures who see nothing wrong with what they’ve done. It’s best to waste the lest of your resources, and get the point across quickly
Why would humanity in this context give quarter to mere bugs by giving the xenos what they want? A proper warriors death for warrior culture that kills the young so mercilessly? No, these beasts will burn like flies to the flame.
You want... Giant bugs... To live? SENTIENT THINKING GIANT POSSIBLY A MIX BETWEEN AN ANT AND COCKROACHES!?
One of these days I would like to see a story where instead of killing the queen ending the threat, it has similar results when an insect queen is killed. Namely that new queens are nutured from the existing eggs. And they seek a new place to spawn.
That's why in this story, they nuked the entire hive out of existence. Can't nurture a new queen if there are no eggs. Or drones. Or anything, really.
honestly, at least with ants which these seemed to be based on, it depends entirely on the species of ant
Can't make a new queen if everyone is nuked.
@@drewahrens3141 "Sir, the hive has returned."
'I thought we nuked it?'
"Well.. Yes. They're roaches now."
'Oh for the love of Henderson.'
@@krel7160 « On the bright side, they are begging us to let them live. Hell, they are even ready to become pets if it means furthering their species ! »
Chant the litanies and anoint the gears with holy oil for xeno scum has asked for a cleansing of holy fire.
I'd been saving this one because it looked interesting. I was not dissapointed.
A few things to never do on your visit to Earth: NEVER threaten mammalian female young (this includes herbivores), don't go to Australia, don't get close to young alligators, don't go snipe hunting, and don't mess with geese.
I’m not sure if you meant to say snake hunting, snipe hunting, or if you’re literally saying that hunting for a magically powered Alan Rickman is a bad idea. However, no matter what the interpretation, you definitely aren’t wrong.
@@IamDarkeye damned autocorrect when it doesn't recognize a word.
@@IamDarkeye “snipe” is a kind of bird. It is hunted in the american south, but generally speaking, it’s a prank pulled on people who aren’t good in the woods to do more and more outrageous stuff in the name of hunting said snipes. Generally speaking, you start by demanding the person walk through the woods banging two sticks together.
@@jendubay3782 Oh, I know about snipe hunting. My dad pulled that one on me when I was nine or so. The comment, courtesy of the asshole that is autocorrect, originally said ‘Snape’ hunting, and I couldn’t miss a chance to make a joke about that, lol.
@@IamDarkeye oooooohhhhhhhhh I am smooth brained, my apologies
just an fyi, it's pronounced "pro-bus-kus"
For some reason I thought this would be a story about people sympathizing with space bugs that had their larvae murdered.
The only good bug is a dead bug
Aliens : kills kids
Humanity: So you have chosen, Genocide!
*Angry human noises*
Another great narration
I'm sorry but when you pronounce chitin as chit-in instead of Kite-in
I feel that upset me.. It breaks me down
The irony in these "don't mess with our kids" is painful.
Are people really this unaware of what we do to kids in real life? People are literally sent to prison for protesting against child sacrifice in the west.
Damn
Monsters? No... DEMONS!
exterminatus ftw
Didn’t you already read this story?
Jesus h Christ, chitin is pronounced kai·tn
Oh English and it's inability to settle on One way to pronounce things...
@@HubiKoshi Chitin has its origins in Greek, it's "kie-tin" or nothin'
@@Runedragonx Ah, how did it go "English following languages into dark alleys and mugging them for vocabulary" XD ?
@@HubiKoshi spectacularly, we've invented a language that doubles as a sport
Thank You for the reading
Those bastards killed (what are most likely) dogs, and that's not gonna fucking slide.
ok but who sends kids into unknown space without a sizable armed escort
Algorithm juice 🎆
Looks like Miss Frizzle took a wrong turn.
i remember that there's a sequel?
DDT
hive breeding species like that, having only a single hive of said species would run into genetic stagnation and inbreeding quick
So the entire species really depended on a single queen? That seems like a terrible survival strategy. I would expect more or sub-queens would be necessary to manage large colonies.
@@Verboten_Joey they appear to be telepathic to some degree, but it appears to have range limits, a large colony may only need a single queen and the workers have the added on bonus of being signal boosters to make this tenable
Coulda just used raid
I know it doesn't make sense and the way you said it in the video, to me always sounded more bug like and appropriate but chitin is actually pronounced like [ky-tin]
"Pro-bos-cuss"
This reminds me of another story that i can't find or remember the title ...
Story was about humans and children being kidnaped by dog looking race ...and then revenge was brutal..
Just can't find the story or remember the name of it
Have you been able to find it?
Good
Humanity in this story :"yOu dOnT kiLL kIDs, yOu fuCKinG Bug!"
Humanity then procides to commit several war crimes which result in a genocide of the entire hive including all of the kids.
God I hope we will be better then this
LMAO why would you feel sorry for some weird genocidal Bug things
Humans probably would determine if their educational vessel got into the territory of the bugs.
If children are mauled by a pack of lions, the lions are not exterminated.
On the other hand i did enjoy the story and i know the narrative necessity of epic justice for the reader/listener.
I just wanted to say that in a more realistic setting, you wouldn't sent a schoolbus without protection into space in the first place.
And the Bugs would have gotten their own nature park, where they would have lived, without danger to humans.
Bro, if a lion ate a baby, so you think that lion bout to stay alive for very long?
@@blueflame7068 Probably. Would killing the lion bring the baby back?
I know that from an instinctive point of view humans are bound to take revenge, because in nature it makes you more fit for survival, if you eliminate all danger to you and your family - therefore if anything is dangerous enough to eat one of your children, you would kill it. This is deeply programmed into our instinct.
But modern humans have the ability to go against their instincts and civilized cultures tend to do so, if they go against logic.
There is a long, well known book about the irrationality to have revengeful feelings against animals: Moby Dick.
A society fit for space traveling most likely would be evolved enough, not to extinct a whole species, because they killed a bunch of children, which unknowingly violated their territory.
Life is too rare in space to do something like that. It would more likely seen as an accident and someone inside the bureaucracy would lose their job.
But like I said, i enjoyed the story as well, as I have human instincts, too. And stories like this have the purpose to stimulate and satisfy these instincts. It's just important to know the difference between a fictional stimulation of instincts and a true sense of morality and to not let one take influence on the other.
@@Cruentus there’s a certain gorilla that would disagree with you on that first part
@@ComedicLetter Please explain. I don't know about this.
@@blueflame7068 fun fact animals that eat humans are hunted and killed because that kinda trait can be learned if its allowed to breed
FAFO!
AMAZING