Uncle Neil and UNCLE Robert. Robert has been around for 30 years and is also slipping that sweet sweet money into your birthday card, he's an uncle. He's not some rando Plus One, he's family.
My husband has an aunt with a “friend” but they are in their 70s and never called their friendship anything else. Even tho they bought a house together, have lived together for over 30 years, and have been very cool about all the trans and queer great nibblings and took them to pride. I love them
They didnt call eachother anything more than "friend" in public or to family members because they were afraid to. They were married. Common law would apply to them if they were strait soooo...if they are still around it would be great to approach the subject and start referring to them at the very least partners. They deserve to be seen. What a beautiful relationship they have. ❤❤❤
My son recently came out as bi when he introduced us to his lovely trans boyfriend. They are adorable 😍 His family and ours recently watched our town's 4th of July fireworks show together, it was really nice!!
We've always taught our kids that love is love, and to see it reflected back to us this way is incredibly special. He's fifteen, and the fact that he and his boyfriend are able to be themselves in our community is also really important to us.
as a 16 year old trans man with a very unsupportive family i am so glad you are so supportive of your son and his partner, the world needs more parents like you ❤️
@@PLASMACHINE6The world needs more authentic, empathetic guys like you. I believe that you'll be able to build a chosen family that loves and supports you too. 💗
I generally detest conversations about “good ally”. This is the first time I’ve seen it talked about in a way I 100% dig. Thanks. And you always have lovely content.
Robert and Neil remind me of my neighbors. They’re these two older ladies who live together in my neighborhood and me and my parents are like 90% sure they’re gay but we have no clue how to ask (we live in a homophobic state as well which doesn’t help) so we’ve been just kinda assuming. So shout out to them and their dog Sweet pea and cat Snuggle Bug, they’re lovely.
@@jennifers5560hmmmyesn't, hateful people could also ask that. Maybe ask while wearing something that makes a reference, or after talking about this great song from an lgbtqia+ artist :d
My granma had "2 great aunts" and they were living with my grandma's family since before ww2. Literally after their deaths we were like uhhh they've been gay this whole time 😂. No one even questioned why they were sleeping in one bed together until the grandkids mentioned it 😂😂😂😂
I also have a Robert and Neil in my family (my uncle and his husband) and I’m so glad I do because it meant I was never homophobic and it made it much easier to come out myself. I’m planning to go to pride with them at some point
I have a cousin who has his own Robert, and the family made him lie as long as our grandmother was alive… but you know, she was no dummy and when I went to visit her not long before she died (in 2003, aged 95!) she started telling me the stories she was told about “his friend Robert” and I could see in her eyes that she didn’t believe a word of what she’d been told. A cantankerous and brilliant old broad who’d buried two husbands before I was even born and whose favorite tv shows were the Golden Girls and Letterman? GRANDMA KNEW. And she loved him just the same.
I have two gay great aunts. We used to go to their house over the summer all the time (they're near a beach and water park so why pay for a hotel when we can have some quality time with the gays). They've lived together pretty much as long as I can remember. I was so confused when they got married cause I just assumed they already were (turns out it just wasn't legal yet). It's so much easier accepting being gay when you have gay family members. The first time I went to pride I actually ran into them without even knowing they were in town, so that was fun.
@@spongecakes1986You know…this is encouraging me to maybe come out to my conservative family some day (I’m out to the less conservative members already). I highly suspect that there are other queer people in my family…but at the very least, I like what you said about how seeing it in your family made it very normal for you and kept you from being homophobic. It might make some of them consider that maybe queer people aren’t so bad. They are very loving people, just misguided. (I know that sounds weird, but truly, I’ve never outright heard any of them bash the lgbtq community, they’re just religious.) At minimum it might give my younger cousins someone to talk to if they ever have to navigate those feelings and questions. Something to think about. Thanks for your comment ❤
@@RelaxingPlatypus39 I'm glad it helped you. I really hope things go well with your family. And even if they don't, you're not alone out there. Also, something entirely unrelated but cute; while I was typing this my cat jumped on the couch and started demanding belly rubs. I don't really have a point in saying that other than it's cute and might make someone reading this happy
It felt weird as an ally that I had so much love and spirit for the lgbt+ but wasn't a part of them, just a big cheerleader. I kept feeling like I wanted to be a part of them and somehow belonged. Years later I realized I'm a member and it feels so wonderful to be apart of the big alphabet family. Especially when some relatives aren't supportive.
I'm already on great terms with my cousin; we've always been close and I accept her the way she is and I don't know anyone in my family who called her girlfriend her "friend", except my cousin herself - just as an old technique to introducing her girlfriend to more traditional members of the family (like me)- she doesn't do this anymore; she's found that even the most traditional members of the family are FAR more accepting than she expected 😊
My grandfather's brother had a "roommate" for 30+ years, I was a little girl and I always thought it was strange how people called them friends, I'm not sure I fully understood they were a couple at the time, but I definitely knew there was something else there. ❤
This reminds me of the evening I finally understood that my aunt was lesbian. As a child I never questioned why she was living with women. It was never a topic of discussion and I never asked. It was just the way it was and completely normal to me. On one vacation I watched her get ready for bed to cuddle with her partner and it suddenly clicked. Rest in peace, auntie. I miss you.
I have an aunt that never married, she lives alone but when I was younger she always brought a female friend for our family holidays. My mum told me she had one boyfriend in her twenties and never dated anyone elese. For a long time now she keep her friends separate to her family, she only sometimes talk about them so we know she has a big loving group of friends. She is in her 70's now so I doubt she will ever come out (if she is gay or ace or anything else) but I'm happy that she lived her life how she wanted and never married out of obligation to society.
I've always wondered if my Uncle is Ace as well cause we have a lot of similarities. And some of the same past ironically just in different time periods.
My ex and I were together for 20 years. Every year at Christmas her sister would send a package with a couple presents for her sister, my partner, and a small present for me, which was nice. Except the presents for my partner always had tags with her name on them and my present never did. She was trying to be supportive and thoughtful but it came across as I was “she who must not be named” Current partner’s family considers me to be another daughter/sister. Full on acceptance! Lesson is: send a gift with a name or don’t send anything at all.I
Mum was talking to me once about a couple she knew of as a child. They were both nurses and lived together. Then she thought it was a save money and they both understood the job and potential unsociable hours they might need to work thing. When she was talking to me she wondered if there was something else to it. Afterall it could be in that case it was just they were friends and lived together for convenience or it could be they were together and used that to hide
Thank you very much! I'm an ally and I try and always do the things you said. Also, very important thing, learn about their pronouns and call them by their preferred names or pronouns. It seems obvious, but I think some people still don't understand that
Hmm. I think there's a specific disconnect with some people, where if it doesn't affect them then it doesn't matter. An example that happens for pretty much everyone is an adult (or other authority figure) dismissing your thoughts/feelings/concerns because you're a child. And when people think they're 'above you', it gets easier to dismiss you. It's pretty similar to any in group vs out group conflict you're used to seeing. The whole thing is tedious and exhausting, honestly.
Yeah, using correct pronouns is great. I know people slip up a lot and that's fine, we all do it...but I keep noticing how someone in my family rarely uses the right pronouns for, like, characters on tv and actors who use they/their as their only or primary pronoun and it makes me think they won't try that hard with people actually in their life.
@@smol-oneIt helped explain a lot when I found out that roughly 1 in 100 people have psychopathic tendencies that make them really bad at empathizing. (At least in the U.S.) There really are people who do not give the slightest fart how their actions affect others, down to their core.
I have a cousin who lived with her "friend" for almost my entire life. Once I realized my own queerness, I made sure to refer to them as a couple. We're everywhere!! 😅 🌈🌈🌈
I'm always a bit torn though between "not wanting to sweep a relationship under the rug" and "normalizing living with a friend". A someone who has encountered both of these types of situations, I've just stopped assuming, if I'm being honest. Either way though, where it doesn't matter if you're lovers or friends is here: If you've lived together with a family member of mine for over 30 years, that means YOU are my family, too.
My grandma's a true ally, and exactly as judgemental of my partners as she is my straight relatives marriages. Except she likes me more, so she sets a higher bar!
One of my mom’s cousins definitely had a partner for decades that no one acknowledged was his partner. We weren’t super close with that side of the family because they lived far away so I don’t know the whole story. I did meet them both once when I was 14 and they were quite nice.
My uncle is sort of in the closet. Hasn't quite felt the need to come out, but like doesnt hide it either. Hes not overly into pride and is basically "its none of your business" kinda mentality. How can i show him i love and support him? Also if anyone wants to watch some classics filmed in canada look up christmas comes to willow creek (my great uncle is the guy at the picnic table) and he played the dentist in an episode of beachcombers. I also love to brag about the stuff my uncle has been in
Yes!!!! H-O-T-T-O-G-O!!!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤ also soooo wish I had some gay uncles like that would be so lovely! Instead I think I’m the queerest person in my family 😂😂😂 I’m the bisexual gf phenotype 😂
I also have a "Robert and Neil" in my family and we all love them and we all show respect regardless of the nuances in the differences of our opinions on their relationship. I, personally, don't have any opinion on their relationship; I just accept it and appreciate them being their true selves 😊💘.
My best friends are a beautiful lesbian couple, and with my conservative Christian friends (I'm in the US), I try to be open minded but am firm in saying that I cannot believe that LGBTQ+ people aren't every bit as loved by God, their marriages blessed and beautiful, as those of heteros. Honestly, I know of many LGBTQ marriages that are far healthier than many hetero ones.
My ex and I were together for 20 years. Every year at Christmas my partner’s sister would send a package with a couple presents for her sister, my partner, and a small present for me, which was nice. Except the presents for my partner always had tags with her name on them and my present never did. She was trying to be supportive and thoughtful but it came across as I was “she who must not be named” Current partner’s family considers me to be another daughter/sister. Full on acceptance! Lesson is: send a gift with a name or don’t send anything at all.
Love this! But also don't out your uncle and his "friend" if they're being coy to the rest of the family either. Part of being an ally is respecting people's wishes
I have difficulty knowing when to cause conflict to support people and when to not. I've given up on fighting family and coworkers. I keep worrying that when I don't say something I'm not fighting for us as much as I should have but I hate conflict and am really non-confrontational. I show lots and love and support in other ways but still feel like its not enough when theres so much hate.
That’s really wonderful! A good place to start is to be more mindful of the words you use and what abilities they assume people have. For example, “Anyone with half a brain would understand that” might be better phrased as, “Hopefully, people understand that.” Whenever you’re in charge of creating something that numerous people might interact with, check to see whether there are ways to make it more accessible. If you’re making a Powerpoint or a graph, for example, look up colors that people who are color blind can see. If you’re making a video, make sure that the captions are accurate. If you encounter someone with a disability, and you think you could help them in some way, don’t ask, “Do you need X? Do you need Y? Can I do Z?” Instead, ask, “*What* do you need?” or “*What* can I do to help?” While it’s understandable to want to show you’re an ally by showing that you know what people need, at the end of the day, the person with the disability (or their caretaker) knows best what it is that they need. Thank you for being so supportive! ❤️
We all want the feeling of approbation from those who are stigmatized, of trust, of admiration. Do realize that one be attentive, not be self-serving, in seeking to satisfy our own feelings by intruding where privacy is wanted. As St. Francis might have said, it is better to trust than be trusted, to cherish rather than be cherished, to love rather than be loved. If a couple does not share details of their togetherness, do not be put out, but share *your own* humanity with them, *your own* joys. If they seem outspoken or shy, do not let that trouble you. If kindness and goodness exudes from you, then every sort of person will feel joy.
I do have a gay cousin but I don’t know him 😅 I don’t know most of my family though, this isn’t because he’s gay, it’s because he lives with the rest of my mom’s side of the family provinces away, lol
my cousin's aunt is a lesbian, but the entire family refused to refer to them as partners and they were "just good friends" and always hid their relationship at family reunions because "there were kids around." i remember being little and seeing them sneaking a kiss and holding hands behind a bush and not really understanding and just thinking it was a friends thing. i was around 13 when i finally learnt that gay people existed thanks to fanfiction and it only took a year to accept that i was a lesbian too, but i mourn how much easier and sooner i could've known myself (and not tried to force myself to like boys) if it hadnt been taboo and i was told from the get go that girls could like girls. its still not really talked about in the family, but they dont actively try to hide it anymore now that we're all young adults (or a few still teens). my cousin's mom's family (my side) is irish catholic and their father's family (aunt's side) is italian catholic so you can imagine that even though everyone is technically accepting (or smart enough to not say anything), its still a taboo to mention.
Flashback to when my mom told me my one uncle was gay and just hilarious and single. He has a boyfriend but it’s a questionable relationship since we aren’t sure if it’s open or cheating
Honey if no one appreciated them, they wouldn’t be famous in the first place. There’s no law against liking something or someone that other people like too. Does Chappell Roan need my personal support? Probably not, but if everyone felt that way, she would have no supporters. I hope you have support in your life! It’s so important to care for those in our lives too. ❤
My partner has been wanting me to read Carmilla, an old book which you can find for free at the Internet Archive, and Carmilla and Laura, which is a modern adaptation that highlights the subtle lesbian romance in the original.
i’ll be exceptionally nice, and i am, but it sucks that no one will ever do it back just because i’m cishet- i have a hell of a lot of struggles that don’t have a month
boo fucking hoo. plenty of people are nice to you precisely BECAUSE you are cishet. lgbt+ have a pride month because they are an oppressed group. yknow, by society and governments, both past and present.
Love that there are stock videos of old gays being domestic 🥹
My thoughts exactly 🥹
my heart 😭💘
yess
now we need stock footage of old gays being feral
Uncle Neil and UNCLE Robert. Robert has been around for 30 years and is also slipping that sweet sweet money into your birthday card, he's an uncle.
He's not some rando Plus One, he's family.
THIS.
ABSOLUTELY THISS
My husband has an aunt with a “friend” but they are in their 70s and never called their friendship anything else. Even tho they bought a house together, have lived together for over 30 years, and have been very cool about all the trans and queer great nibblings and took them to pride. I love them
They didnt call eachother anything more than "friend" in public or to family members because they were afraid to. They were married. Common law would apply to them if they were strait soooo...if they are still around it would be great to approach the subject and start referring to them at the very least partners. They deserve to be seen. What a beautiful relationship they have. ❤❤❤
My son recently came out as bi when he introduced us to his lovely trans boyfriend. They are adorable 😍 His family and ours recently watched our town's 4th of July fireworks show together, it was really nice!!
What a sweet story! Your family sounds so lovely 💕
We've always taught our kids that love is love, and to see it reflected back to us this way is incredibly special. He's fifteen, and the fact that he and his boyfriend are able to be themselves in our community is also really important to us.
@@victoriaeads6126 it’s always so wonderful to hear stories like this ❤
as a 16 year old trans man with a very unsupportive family i am so glad you are so supportive of your son and his partner, the world needs more parents like you ❤️
@@PLASMACHINE6The world needs more authentic, empathetic guys like you. I believe that you'll be able to build a chosen family that loves and supports you too. 💗
Love Chappel Roan, the chorus of Pink Pony Club lives in my brain…
One of my favourite ever songs!
Oh, THAT'S where I heard the name before! It was really bothering me, but at the same time I was too lazy to look her up
I generally detest conversations about “good ally”. This is the first time I’ve seen it talked about in a way I 100% dig. Thanks. And you always have lovely content.
This is such a lovely thing to say, thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed x
Robert and Neil remind me of my neighbors. They’re these two older ladies who live together in my neighborhood and me and my parents are like 90% sure they’re gay but we have no clue how to ask (we live in a homophobic state as well which doesn’t help) so we’ve been just kinda assuming. So shout out to them and their dog Sweet pea and cat Snuggle Bug, they’re lovely.
You can ask them how long they’ve been together. That might give them a hint that you are ok to tell.
Take them some cookies, or drop off a note!
@@jennifers5560hmmmyesn't, hateful people could also ask that. Maybe ask while wearing something that makes a reference, or after talking about this great song from an lgbtqia+ artist :d
@@undefinederror40404 Good point
😢 what state is it?
My granma had "2 great aunts" and they were living with my grandma's family since before ww2. Literally after their deaths we were like uhhh they've been gay this whole time 😂. No one even questioned why they were sleeping in one bed together until the grandkids mentioned it 😂😂😂😂
I also have a Robert and Neil in my family (my uncle and his husband) and I’m so glad I do because it meant I was never homophobic and it made it much easier to come out myself. I’m planning to go to pride with them at some point
I have a cousin who has his own Robert, and the family made him lie as long as our grandmother was alive… but you know, she was no dummy and when I went to visit her not long before she died (in 2003, aged 95!) she started telling me the stories she was told about “his friend Robert” and I could see in her eyes that she didn’t believe a word of what she’d been told. A cantankerous and brilliant old broad who’d buried two husbands before I was even born and whose favorite tv shows were the Golden Girls and Letterman? GRANDMA KNEW. And she loved him just the same.
I have two gay great aunts. We used to go to their house over the summer all the time (they're near a beach and water park so why pay for a hotel when we can have some quality time with the gays). They've lived together pretty much as long as I can remember. I was so confused when they got married cause I just assumed they already were (turns out it just wasn't legal yet). It's so much easier accepting being gay when you have gay family members. The first time I went to pride I actually ran into them without even knowing they were in town, so that was fun.
@@spongecakes1986You know…this is encouraging me to maybe come out to my conservative family some day (I’m out to the less conservative members already).
I highly suspect that there are other queer people in my family…but at the very least, I like what you said about how seeing it in your family made it very normal for you and kept you from being homophobic.
It might make some of them consider that maybe queer people aren’t so bad. They are very loving people, just misguided. (I know that sounds weird, but truly, I’ve never outright heard any of them bash the lgbtq community, they’re just religious.) At minimum it might give my younger cousins someone to talk to if they ever have to navigate those feelings and questions.
Something to think about. Thanks for your comment ❤
@@RelaxingPlatypus39 I'm glad it helped you. I really hope things go well with your family. And even if they don't, you're not alone out there. Also, something entirely unrelated but cute; while I was typing this my cat jumped on the couch and started demanding belly rubs. I don't really have a point in saying that other than it's cute and might make someone reading this happy
It felt weird as an ally that I had so much love and spirit for the lgbt+ but wasn't a part of them, just a big cheerleader. I kept feeling like I wanted to be a part of them and somehow belonged.
Years later I realized I'm a member and it feels so wonderful to be apart of the big alphabet family. Especially when some relatives aren't supportive.
Exact same feelings for me when I was a teen. Now I'm 23 and am a member in multiple ways💕🌈
❤❤❤❤@@M00N_IVY
❤❤❤❤
SAME i thought i was the only one who felt like this before realizing my sexuality
I'm already on great terms with my cousin; we've always been close and I accept her the way she is and I don't know anyone in my family who called her girlfriend her "friend", except my cousin herself - just as an old technique to introducing her girlfriend to more traditional members of the family (like me)- she doesn't do this anymore; she's found that even the most traditional members of the family are FAR more accepting than she expected 😊
My grandfather's brother had a "roommate" for 30+ years, I was a little girl and I always thought it was strange how people called them friends, I'm not sure I fully understood they were a couple at the time, but I definitely knew there was something else there. ❤
This reminds me of the evening I finally understood that my aunt was lesbian.
As a child I never questioned why she was living with women. It was never a topic of discussion and I never asked. It was just the way it was and completely normal to me. On one vacation I watched her get ready for bed to cuddle with her partner and it suddenly clicked.
Rest in peace, auntie. I miss you.
Yes, if Neil and Robert want to be referred to as partners ❤
Neil is your favorite uncle's favorite uncle
Underrated comment
I have an aunt that never married, she lives alone but when I was younger she always brought a female friend for our family holidays. My mum told me she had one boyfriend in her twenties and never dated anyone elese. For a long time now she keep her friends separate to her family, she only sometimes talk about them so we know she has a big loving group of friends. She is in her 70's now so I doubt she will ever come out (if she is gay or ace or anything else) but I'm happy that she lived her life how she wanted and never married out of obligation to society.
Love her. 💖🤍🧡
I've always wondered if my Uncle is Ace as well cause we have a lot of similarities. And some of the same past ironically just in different time periods.
Chappel Roan (and Uncle Neil and his bf) need to be protected at all costs.
Thank you for your excellent examples of actionable!
CHAPPELL ROAN
instructions unclear, i now have a girlfriend
My ex and I were together for 20 years. Every year at Christmas her sister would send a package with a couple presents for her sister, my partner, and a small present for me, which was nice. Except the presents for my partner always had tags with her name on them and my present never did. She was trying to be supportive and thoughtful but it came across as I was “she who must not be named”
Current partner’s family considers me to be another daughter/sister. Full on acceptance!
Lesson is: send a gift with a name or don’t send anything at all.I
I love chappell roan!
As an aro, they might be platonic, remember that folks. Don't assume - ask! (If, when and where they are comfortable, of course)
Mum was talking to me once about a couple she knew of as a child. They were both nurses and lived together. Then she thought it was a save money and they both understood the job and potential unsociable hours they might need to work thing. When she was talking to me she wondered if there was something else to it.
Afterall it could be in that case it was just they were friends and lived together for convenience or it could be they were together and used that to hide
Thank you very much! I'm an ally and I try and always do the things you said. Also, very important thing, learn about their pronouns and call them by their preferred names or pronouns. It seems obvious, but I think some people still don't understand that
Hmm. I think there's a specific disconnect with some people, where if it doesn't affect them then it doesn't matter. An example that happens for pretty much everyone is an adult (or other authority figure) dismissing your thoughts/feelings/concerns because you're a child. And when people think they're 'above you', it gets easier to dismiss you. It's pretty similar to any in group vs out group conflict you're used to seeing.
The whole thing is tedious and exhausting, honestly.
Yeah, using correct pronouns is great. I know people slip up a lot and that's fine, we all do it...but I keep noticing how someone in my family rarely uses the right pronouns for, like, characters on tv and actors who use they/their as their only or primary pronoun and it makes me think they won't try that hard with people actually in their life.
@@smol-oneIt helped explain a lot when I found out that roughly 1 in 100 people have psychopathic tendencies that make them really bad at empathizing. (At least in the U.S.)
There really are people who do not give the slightest fart how their actions affect others, down to their core.
I have a cousin who lived with her "friend" for almost my entire life. Once I realized my own queerness, I made sure to refer to them as a couple. We're everywhere!! 😅 🌈🌈🌈
I'm always a bit torn though between "not wanting to sweep a relationship under the rug" and "normalizing living with a friend". A someone who has encountered both of these types of situations, I've just stopped assuming, if I'm being honest.
Either way though, where it doesn't matter if you're lovers or friends is here: If you've lived together with a family member of mine for over 30 years, that means YOU are my family, too.
My grandma's a true ally, and exactly as judgemental of my partners as she is my straight relatives marriages. Except she likes me more, so she sets a higher bar!
One of my mom’s cousins definitely had a partner for decades that no one acknowledged was his partner. We weren’t super close with that side of the family because they lived far away so I don’t know the whole story. I did meet them both once when I was 14 and they were quite nice.
My uncle is sort of in the closet. Hasn't quite felt the need to come out, but like doesnt hide it either. Hes not overly into pride and is basically "its none of your business" kinda mentality. How can i show him i love and support him?
Also if anyone wants to watch some classics filmed in canada look up christmas comes to willow creek (my great uncle is the guy at the picnic table) and he played the dentist in an episode of beachcombers. I also love to brag about the stuff my uncle has been in
Yaaa Chappell Roan ❤❤❤❤
Yes!!!! H-O-T-T-O-G-O!!!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤ also soooo wish I had some gay uncles like that would be so lovely! Instead I think I’m the queerest person in my family 😂😂😂 I’m the bisexual gf phenotype 😂
I also have a "Robert and Neil" in my family and we all love them and we all show respect regardless of the nuances in the differences of our opinions on their relationship. I, personally, don't have any opinion on their relationship; I just accept it and appreciate them being their true selves 😊💘.
My best friends are a beautiful lesbian couple, and with my conservative Christian friends (I'm in the US), I try to be open minded but am firm in saying that I cannot believe that LGBTQ+ people aren't every bit as loved by God, their marriages blessed and beautiful, as those of heteros. Honestly, I know of many LGBTQ marriages that are far healthier than many hetero ones.
I keep reminding an acquaintance that her stepdaughter has a wife not a ‘whatever’.
Lots of love! ❤
Wish my aunts had been more open might have help me come out sooner but I understand
❤
I aspire to BE the Uncle Neil.
My ex and I were together for 20 years. Every year at Christmas my partner’s sister would send a package with a couple presents for her sister, my partner, and a small present for me, which was nice. Except the presents for my partner always had tags with her name on them and my present never did. She was trying to be supportive and thoughtful but it came across as I was “she who must not be named”
Current partner’s family considers me to be another daughter/sister. Full on acceptance!
Lesson is: send a gift with a name or don’t send anything at all.
Love this! But also don't out your uncle and his "friend" if they're being coy to the rest of the family either. Part of being an ally is respecting people's wishes
🎯🎯🎯
Just wanna say that ace people exist and sometimes cohabit as well! (But yeah they're probably gay)
I have difficulty knowing when to cause conflict to support people and when to not. I've given up on fighting family and coworkers. I keep worrying that when I don't say something I'm not fighting for us as much as I should have but I hate conflict and am really non-confrontational. I show lots and love and support in other ways but still feel like its not enough when theres so much hate.
Fucking love Chappel Roan!
I want to be a good ally to the disabled community.
That’s really wonderful! A good place to start is to be more mindful of the words you use and what abilities they assume people have. For example, “Anyone with half a brain would understand that” might be better phrased as, “Hopefully, people understand that.”
Whenever you’re in charge of creating something that numerous people might interact with, check to see whether there are ways to make it more accessible. If you’re making a Powerpoint or a graph, for example, look up colors that people who are color blind can see. If you’re making a video, make sure that the captions are accurate.
If you encounter someone with a disability, and you think you could help them in some way, don’t ask, “Do you need X? Do you need Y? Can I do Z?” Instead, ask, “*What* do you need?” or “*What* can I do to help?” While it’s understandable to want to show you’re an ally by showing that you know what people need, at the end of the day, the person with the disability (or their caretaker) knows best what it is that they need.
Thank you for being so supportive! ❤️
We all want the feeling of approbation from those who are stigmatized, of trust, of admiration. Do realize that one be attentive, not be self-serving, in seeking to satisfy our own feelings by intruding where privacy is wanted.
As St. Francis might have said, it is better to trust than be trusted, to cherish rather than be cherished, to love rather than be loved. If a couple does not share details of their togetherness, do not be put out, but share *your own* humanity with them, *your own* joys. If they seem outspoken or shy, do not let that trouble you. If kindness and goodness exudes from you, then every sort of person will feel joy.
Absolutely love this video, truly shows how one can be an awesome queer ally!!!
I love chappell ❤❤
Speaking of Uncle Neil and his "friend" Robert, we really need to do better about taking care of queer elders.
I do have a gay cousin but I don’t know him 😅 I don’t know most of my family though, this isn’t because he’s gay, it’s because he lives with the rest of my mom’s side of the family provinces away, lol
Also Chappel Roan is great, but most sapphic music is wonderful, so that doesn’t surprise me 😂
£5? uncle Neil and Robert need to learn what inflation is
🤣🤣💕
my cousin's aunt is a lesbian, but the entire family refused to refer to them as partners and they were "just good friends" and always hid their relationship at family reunions because "there were kids around." i remember being little and seeing them sneaking a kiss and holding hands behind a bush and not really understanding and just thinking it was a friends thing. i was around 13 when i finally learnt that gay people existed thanks to fanfiction and it only took a year to accept that i was a lesbian too, but i mourn how much easier and sooner i could've known myself (and not tried to force myself to like boys) if it hadnt been taboo and i was told from the get go that girls could like girls. its still not really talked about in the family, but they dont actively try to hide it anymore now that we're all young adults (or a few still teens). my cousin's mom's family (my side) is irish catholic and their father's family (aunt's side) is italian catholic so you can imagine that even though everyone is technically accepting (or smart enough to not say anything), its still a taboo to mention.
Flashback to when my mom told me my one uncle was gay and just hilarious and single.
He has a boyfriend but it’s a questionable relationship since we aren’t sure if it’s open or cheating
But everyone loves their roommates right? Just me?
Celebrities don’t need more appreciation
Honey if no one appreciated them, they wouldn’t be famous in the first place. There’s no law against liking something or someone that other people like too.
Does Chappell Roan need my personal support? Probably not, but if everyone felt that way, she would have no supporters.
I hope you have support in your life! It’s so important to care for those in our lives too. ❤
Can you recommend good books with lesbian couples? It's hard to find anything in my native language, so I wanted to try something in English
My partner has been wanting me to read Carmilla, an old book which you can find for free at the Internet Archive, and Carmilla and Laura, which is a modern adaptation that highlights the subtle lesbian romance in the original.
❤already done
OMG I have an Uncle Neil who has never married or even really dated & I've always wondered, but don't want to upset him by asking.
My brother was gay and I serious,y never knew(i was wayyyyy you her than him) until I was at their wedding…
Now I'm curious... Are Robert and Neil real people? Or you made them up?
Is it relevant?
Doesn't matter, I'm shipping them anyway.
They're a hypothetical distant family relationship, soooo.... technically both
Don't out your family members, I think we should specify?
i’ll be exceptionally nice, and i am, but it sucks that no one will ever do it back just because i’m cishet- i have a hell of a lot of struggles that don’t have a month
boo fucking hoo. plenty of people are nice to you precisely BECAUSE you are cishet. lgbt+ have a pride month because they are an oppressed group. yknow, by society and governments, both past and present.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤎💙💗🤍
Great uncle thom and his 💅brother 💅 Clee 🥹🥹🥹🥹 always nice to have a random excuse to think about them
💓🤍🧡🌈