The part that WOMEN always LEAVE OUT: why this messes with men's heads
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- Опубликовано: 25 ноя 2022
- The part that women always leave out refers to the responses of women to the question: "what are you looking for in a man?" These responses are typically a litany of positive character attributes: someone kind, someone loyal, someone family-oriented. However, women always leave out a very important part to their responses, and it's this omission that can really mess with men's heads. I'll explain what I mean in this episode.
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#dating #attraction #women
If she is attracted to you, you won't have to do anything. If she isn't attracted to you, there is nothing you can do.
Blackpill
Fact
Short and sweet.
Ok. This is cynical philosophy, wisdom and empirical evidence. Very true.
BUT: you can become more attractive.
Nah, there's plenty you _can_ do, at least for temporary results. The real question is whether you _should_ do anything, and to that I say hell naw.
Don't listen to what women say
Watch what they do
Yeah or watch what anyone does not what they say
*They wait for Chad, Tyrone & Ray Ray to approach, then they bang.*
@@alyssawoodman Video is about women in case that wasn't astoundingly obvious.
No women believe they can change the man they have chosen. That is why the Beauty and the Beast story resonates so well with women. They will choose an attractive POS guy but believe he will change for her, because she is so special. Then she will be hurt when he acts like a POS!
What women and basically humans say is what they primary think will benefit them in their current situation.
According to psychometrics, women score higher in the trait neuroticism.
This means you surely won't hear from them about their not so politically correct or inconvenient motives, and everyone has those, more or less, as they fear to get ostracized for that.
That is a great point. "Women want these qualities but from men they are already attracted to."
So true Doc, an ex of mine had a baby with a guy about 10yrs ago, her business. I was living on the other side of the country. Last year I was visiting and she mentioned we should get married. I told her I am not going to marry you bc the guy your really want is the baby daddy(the guy left her pregnant to raise the child and was in jail, during an 8yr stretch, they were back and forth), he just wasn't doing the things she wanted him to do.
I told her, I am just the guy you feel safe with and can provide financial support. She didn't like that, but I didn't say it to put her down, I said it to be honest and stop her from thinking I am ever going to reconsider.
Oof. What an insult. Men who find themselves in that provider/beta/friendzone/second choice situation should take it as an insult because that's what it is. It's always an insult and nothing less. No cap.
>>I told her, I am just the guy you feel safe with and can provide financial support.
And she'll divorce you shortly after and take ya sh!t!! @@alexmuenster2102
I feel really happy that you told her that. Too many women nowadays are completely oblivious of the things they say and do. They say and do really shitty things and they don't even bat an eye. They dont even think how rude and horrible they are being to the other person. I realized that the reason for that (at least in my country) is the fact that desperate guys have buttered these girls soo much that they have an over-inflated ego. But I'm not like most of those guys, I have self respect, I can get girls and I am not desperate to get in their pants. So whenever these girls say/do something that's not ok, I call them out. But I'm a villain in their eyes because no one else calls them out on their shitty hypocrisy, arrogance, rudeness, etc. etc.
Serious question. Why are you even hanging out with her? I assume you are hooking up with her, but just hanging out with her, visiting...no thanks.
“Don't try to understand women, women understand women and they hate each other." - Al Bundy
You can either love women or understand them. There is no two things at the same timings. LOL
@@RespectMyAuthoritaah or ignore them and they'll hate you.
@Screw you guys, I'm going home *there is no "both, at the same time"
I don't understand women and I am a woman. They go around putting bananas in exhaust piping smashing out their windows and trying to hit them with phone books I don't know wait a minute we don't have phone books never mind and they always want to start a fight physically but don't know what they but will but they claim they want to be equal they do unnecessary dramatic stuff and like you said they always want them good qualities but when they find a man like that he's not good enough so I'm not going to say all women but most women don't know what they want until it's too late and then they 40 plus wondering why they still single. But you can't tell them that cuz they get wrong blah blah blah
I'm wearing my "no ma'am" shirt while reading this 🤣
Ask any woman over 25 what she wants in a man, and she’ll describe a man she’s turned down for 10 years. And leave out how money brings the odds of any man to 90+%.
Ask her what she hates about men and she’ll describe the only kind of guy she’s been attracted to without money.
Nailed it. I salute you.
Amen.
The irony is those men exist exclusively because of her choices.
💯
Because that's what women do.
A few years back I was on one of those dating apps where they asked me a whole raft of questions about myself & what I was looking for. Then, over the course of a year, they sent my profile to those ladies who's answers to the same question seemed to suggest that we have the potential to be a "match". The front page to each profile was a picture, your location and age. Now I'm not Hollywood leading man material, but I do keep myself neat and presentable at all times. I probably received 100 "matches" over my year, and I took the time to open & read the lion's share of them (Not gonna lie; I'm a male, and visual stimulation IS a "thing" with males, so if you don't look like you give a darn about your health/appearance, well ...). And just how many of these ladies took the time to at least open/read mine? Less than five. So, ladies, DON'T try to sell me the "we only care about character" line.
Character is the LAST thing they care about unless they can use your character to easily gaslight you.🤣🤣🤣
You reject women on how they look. They reject you on how successful you are. Seems fair.
@@amylee9 How can they know how successful I was - or even claimed to be - if they didn't bother to read my profile? - Hmmm.
Of course they don't care about character. It's sadly always money. When they get to know me I can see them churning away at their mental calculator tmwhen they give me their questionnaire to find out from my lifestyle how much money I have and how much I earn so she can benefit from it.
@@salguodrolyat2594 truth! I have lost a many women for having character!
If she has TRUE DESIRE for you, the relationship will be VERY easy. I wish I had learned that when I was in high school. Makes mate selection infinitely easier
In other words, attraction is like a pre-employment drug test. Once you fail it, it doesn’t matter how good your resume is; you’re out.
Is that not true in the other direction too though? Or will men just fuck anything?
good analogy cause talking to lot of women feels like they are interviewing you
Not just pre-employment, they regularly do random testing at "work".
@@smerdopsis6092 What gets me is how you can meet a girl and have her say "Wow! You're really handsome." and you can have a few encounters like that by chance, and then one night when you make out, and then instead of being sweet like girls in the 1990s hang-out-hook-up girl would be (forget 1980s shacking up), she hits you with a laundry list of demands. I can't even get through a few texts usually.
DAMN now THAT is a brutal analogy!
been married 48 years. About 10 years ago, she said, well, I guess we're stuck with each other. lol.
This was out of the blue. Never assume your woman, or wife, is not thinking about other men, even if you're older.
Never assume if you are a good father, have a stable life, home etc., that she is not thinking something that
may shock you. It never ends.😯
However, I told her, if she wants to leave, there's the door. Even after 48 years.
Wylee Coyotee is right, but seriously, do you really never daydream about shagging someone different? We are horny primates after all. It's ok and doesn't mean she doesn't love you.
You Sir, are a man! I am not worthy. That was the only response to such nonsense.
Exactly, I don't want her around if she doesn't want to stay--and would be totally content never finding or having another woman in my life. But I'm keeping the kids.
Something tells me she stayed….
i guess were stuck together, what a stupid callous thing to say
Excellent! This clip reminded me of the following joke: 'One of the things women claim is most important in a man is a sense of humour. In my years as a comedian, I've learned that they're usually referring to the humour of guys like Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe. Apparently those guys are hilarious!' [Comedian Jimi McFarland] 😆😆
lol love this
Yeah. Women say sense of humor because it's a defense mechanism answer. They won't answer the question honestly because it would make them look bad.
@@KpxUrz5745Not really, a Man who makes you laugh and who is light-hearted but who is Really like that and not a faker, he's a Treasure to be Cherished and Guarded ❤🤴❤
Women love and adore a 99 yo millionaire with a bad cough.😳
The Issue is not trying to be attractive to a woman that is NOT attracted to you. It's keeping it when she has decided she is NO LONGER attracted to you. But, that is also a fool's game. She withheld her desire to escape until she could monkeybranch. And he isn't necessarily better, though she will allow you to think that the rest of your days. He is Fresher. Brand New. A movie she hasn't seen yet. Eventually, she may regret her swing. Realize the previous branch has grown bigger and stronger. And we too often allow them to swing back.
Not anymore. No more swingbacks. And if you hit the ground, single, maybe friendless and homeless...welcome to a man's life. Now you must climb the whole tree again.
Funny Christmas tree story here...😂 perfectly put rly
Women want attractive men to be better men. Most quality men lack physical/financial attributes that make them attractive to women.
I had a female friend 10 years ago who told me once "I wish I could find a guy like you." I told her it was the most offensive thing a woman ever told me because I was like me but she would never date me. I told her "What you really want is the men that you date to be like me, but they don't have to because you will date them without those facets." She was upset, but she knew I was correct.
On target! Men stop trying to figure out a women. Stop giving up your power. It's time for them to figure us out.
Haha. It's like telling the fat chicks to lose some weight and maybe a guy can stifle his vomit long enough to take you out in public
Nailed it!
@@oldnatty61 a womans mind changes before during and after periods.
Why are you offended that your friend doesn’t want to date you? You’re FRIENDS! Unless you were trying to be sneaky and faking the friendship to sleep with her?🤨 if you didn’t want to be just friends in the first place, leave her alone.
I'll make it simpler. Be the best person you want to be, and if a woman doesn't find you attractive, forget about her and move on, because she isn't your type anyway.
It really is that simple.
And you are the Winner
That WHT I was saying.. all these guys whiny here... women have do same. Lose weight.. Fri fit... look nice des better etc etc etc
The subset of men they are 'attracted' to is 1 out of 10 or less.
and it works both ways! win-win
I fully agree and learned this the hard way.
Another thing. Understand that thing about the life goal. Make yourself busy in growth, in living, in seizeing the moment. Provide positive psychology to yourself. Appreciate failures as new input. Many "unattractive" men are needy for validation by others, they never learned to be their own source. That drives most partners away because it easily leads to a toxic relationship.
Enjoy growing, lads! Enjoy each step, each day. You've got this!
Beautiful comment
Yes good content
💗
For me, the interesting part about the 2nd consequence is that by the time I gained ground on self-improvement and the acquisition of game, as it were, I no longer had any enjoyment or fulfillment from catching the eye of women I was or am attracted to. They now become obstacles or road blocks towards my goals and aspirations. A burden, a chore to have to maintain. At this point, I have yet to find someone that has a worth in keeping around… it sounds vain or heartless as I write it down but this is truly where I am at in my life.
Finally someone who thinks like me. Build aspirations for yourself and maintain success in this capitalistic society. Women here tend to be superficial, and it is easy for them to be attracted to someone who appears successful and worked on himself for years. Don't let a random relationship ruin what you worked hard for, for years. Your value matters more than this "game" many men play foolishly, often at the expense of their sanity and assets, as experienced in divorce, lawsuits and false accusations. Test the waters and learn constantly about the girls that are actually interested in you. If you believe in God, He will provide the woman for you by faith. Amen and God bless. You have the right mindset brother.
I get it Madmax. And Kleinvisuals, I know enough about female nature to be discouraged but more for other men than for myself.
(I'm convinced that if men learned about female nature in a way that men couldn't be in denial about it, no less than 75% of western men, at least, would become 'volcels' (voluntarily celibate) because while it's true that women can't handle the truth about men... it's also true (I believe even truer) that men can't handle the truth about women.)
I hope God provides the woman for me because I want a family but cannot settle for the 'unaddressed/unresolved' female nature that's always been there but that's become more open and brazen in our modern era. Most married men are literally 'sleeping with the enemy' (ie. in bed with a wife who, deep down inside, resents or doesn't respect the husband as a worthy man). I wouldn't be able to live with that let alone sleep with it.
That's the twist. You spend your whole life trying to acquire something, and then when you have it you find out it's worthless. The effort I put into trying to find a relationship is the biggest regret of my life. I hope young men moving forward can learn this much earlier than I did
I feel 100% the same. The juice isn't worth the squeeze
Because the initial value in women and dating is that being "selected" by a woman when you are young is inherently a status boost to you.
No woman wants to "pollute" themselves by elevating a lesser man.
If a woman is not attracted to you, don't waste your time on her.
Indeed, oddly enough, ignoring her and going your own way is the
only chance you have with her.
its the only chance you have to maintain your sanity lmao.
Like pushing on a string, the art of letting go.
Great answer not exactly to this topic, but in general said an european, czech comedy actress……as she wanted to find new purpose in life of personal, spiritual transformation of happiness….she started to read a lot of books, for example by Lazariev…….It helped her a lot, mostly during covid.
And then she as 48 years old started to make seminars about her duscoveries and what helped her etc and because she is a comedian she knows how to make people luagh, and give them the sense of how they should transform their own happiness. Her father is her inspiration. So she did the seminars also colleagues or with her father. She wrote 2 humorous books about funny adventures and stories with her father, to make people laugh after the covid nonsense……… She said that as she found out you may open your heart chakra even if you dont fall in love with anybody…..because the purpose of your life is to loving yourself first, loving your hobbies, sports, travelling, food, all the interesting inspirational things.
Its your purpose since childhood. But many kids didnt experience self-love even in childhood, because nobody taught them it….they heard the criticism too often, so they learned the wrong habits except the self love……she didnt say it this way but many people as her, explain this basic stuff about self-love and childhood. For example Dr. Bruce Lipton explains it too. She also liked him………..but she wanted to say the basic thing is that people dont understand that they may open the heart chakra, or whatever you want call it, even if they dont fall in love with human being…because you start to love everything, your life hobbies etc…your friends, family or even unknown people…..…..but she says usually with most people happens is that they have the heart chakra closed, but it opens only when they fall in love with someone, because they can not help it….it happens without a planing. It happens by itself…….but the people who do meditation practice, open the heart chakra on purpose…..it has great health benefits, you become happier, healthier, you start to have more friends….but thing is you have to practice daily a love, gratitude, empathy, stoping watching too much violence that compromisees the mind etc. Start reading info about it. Maybe the best way is to do the work, then the love partner finds you without effort.
Women probably have similar problem that they usually think that the nice, polite and goodlooking one, is already dating someone else or is married.
So its almost the same problem. That their confidence is also very limited and
The women who have some moral compas wouldnt want to take the guy from other woman…..
After all she even may be glad that such good guy has a nice person by his side….and that some harmony in the world exists..
Of course we have to differentiate women in few categories.
19 years old may have completelly different point of view than 35 years old woman.
20 years old doesnt know yet what she is looking for, the looks or the character or other qualities.
It seems the 35 years old realises that the guy should also have a poetic side of personality, liking some nice music, going to theater or Opera, helping the neighbor in need, or things like that….
The poetic side is very attractive, though some people dont realise it, because televission rarely shows poetic side of people. They usually show expensive houses and cars, but not the really nice things.
And if a father wants to help his daughter to find the guy with a character and with a poetic side of personality, its his choice,
but maybe the father also should show some of his humorous side and say it with humor, or say it poetically……
So the daughter will feel it not with her brain but with her heart.
Scientists found out that heart is much smarter than brain.
Heart is not about logic.
As Deepak Chopra says Love is irrational wisdom of the heart.
They found out that electric field of the heart is 100 000 times bigger than electric field of brain and magnetic field of heart is 5000 times bigger than magnetic field of brain.
So heart is much more powerful, even though human brain tries to solve everything with logic.
goes both ways.
The best way I've heard it explained is this. When women give dating advice, they are giving you advice on how to make a woman who already finds you attractive see you as a viable long-term partner. They answer like this because picking your favorite from a group of men who are already attracted to you and then trying to get him to commit is what dating is for women.
Jimbo... thank you. That makes complete sense. (Editted for spelling)
That is a beautifully true insight and excellently worded! Pure poetry my man!!
I read that twice. Very true. They don't understand that the majority of guys don't have that options they do. So that makes sense they would never understand that we might be interested in someone that's not immediately interested in us.
Women, here's the car lot, pick any car you want!
Men, here's your issued car. Don't complain, be happy you get a car at all, most men get nothing.
DUH! what is dating like for men? are you guys doing the reverse?
As it has been stated by other content creators, and absolutely correctly I might add, you CAN NOT negotiate attractiveness
She either finds you to be F-ABLE or not
And
She made that decision within the first seconds she saw you before you ever spoke a single word to her
Exactly its either theyd take the D or they dont. Ive found even girls that initially dont just throw themselves at you at least know if they would
I want to express to you my appreciation for your content, presentation and delivery. I am glad you have a Psy. D, rather than PhD, and it shows. You keep your messages short, sweet and to the point allowing us to digest it on our own: perfect. You don’t talk like you’re some expert who knows it all above your audience 🙏. You don’t go round about with expertise no one wants to hear. Instead, you’re a smart man, who has educated himself and done his homework, that cares and is sharing his gift to the world. We need more people like you. Thank you. You have wonderful insights. You’re inspiring and thought provoking. Thank you.🙏
Women get married thinking he will change but he doesn't. Men get married thinking she will never change. But she does. All the best, gentlemen. And be careful out there.
Ha, that's a great way to put it!
That is so true !
Each is inevitably disappointed
My wife and I have been married for 56+ years, and you have just *perfectly* described our union!
like i always say, when the ring goes on the finger it goes through someones nose, one or the other and usually the women
becomes a bitch and men become simps because once a child comes into the picture things change drastically.
I’ll add one more subtlety… Very, very often - even if they’re not conscious of it - women want a man who’s been *pre-selected* by other women. That’s why, 9 times out of 10, it’s easier to get a girlfriend when you already have a girlfriend. Pre-selection is huge for women even if they don’t know it.
The only reason women are attracted to you when you’re in a relationship, is because you’re confidence is now radiating. When you’re single and can’t get a gf, you come off as insecure and repelling. You’re more attractive when you feel attractive.
@@MzBunny2790 some good points. I think both are true
@@MzBunny2790 nah its preselection. As soon as they see you with a girl or know you have a girl all of sudden they get curiosity like "oh whats he really all about?"
It's interesting, because it's the same thing in the job market. It's easier to get a job when you have a job than when you don't.
@@protox4 it’s the law of attraction. You get more of what you already have. When you have money, you’re not worried about it so you attract more of it or at least more opportunities to make more of it. The same applies to people and everything else in life. If you’re not harboring any strong negative emotions towards something, you become a magnet to it.
Love the vids brother! I recently learned about the "boyfriend energy" made me realize that women instinctively know if they want you but as soon as you give off boyfriend energy you basically lost. Gotta keep these women on their toes at all times. And never be bothered if they choose someone else.
I've been binge watching your stuff lately. I can't believe these are free. Thanks.
You can always tip him.
I've noticed this in women for decades. They tend to virtue signal and say "looks are not important and that personality is everything." Yeah right....
I learned long ago that to understand women, do not focus on what they say. Focus on what they DO or what the respond to. Often what they do (or respond to) will differ hugely from what they say.
Psst... It is the same story with men.. It is actually called human nature. ;)
Same as men then, attraction is very powerful and not logical.
@@kerrymillar1267 gay men.
@@ronmexico8383 A 9+ guy would never do anything sexual related to a 3 or 4 woman, ever. I almost vomit just to think about it!
Looks not being important is a hilarious lie. Even more hilarious is that so many men actually believe it.
Any 6ft guy in decent shape can pull women like crazy, no game, charm, money, etc. needed.
Women are 150% as shallow as they claim men are.
I figured this out in my youth because what women were saying seemed contradictory to what they wanted. Once I realized that women were not saying, "these qualities makes a man attractive", but that attractiveness was such a basic prerequisite that they didn't even think of mentioning it, it all came together.
Indeed. How many people, when asked what they want out of life, list oxygen first.
@@billgreen576 I don’t think you two are cynical enough.
It isn’t that attraction is so basic they forgot to mention it. Attraction is basic for men too and they mention it first on the list.
It’s that women want respect they don’t deserve. So they want to maintain the illusion of being the more ethical and less shallow gender, while still being just as shallow as men.
Interestingly, this makes them worse than men, because while they’re equally shallow, women are more dishonest.
Qualities don’t make a man attractive, being attractive makes the qualities attractive
Worse, those are excuses and rationalizations, not what they want.
They get with hot men who do not have any of the traits they ask for all the time.
Attractive guys get the prize within hours of meeting her
Really informative content, concise and to the point. Not only did it give me a really good piece of information (i.e. that women assume attraction BEFORE listing what they supposedly want), but it also gave me a little bit of hope, because there is something I can do about it. Thank you for the video and the uplifting note at the end! I'll keep working on myself.
This guy was one of the best panelists on the Whatever podcast. He broke down the psychology behind female attraction.
Very well said. Women will often say a man is a 'jerk' or something like that after sleeping with him and getting ghosted. She hooked up because he was attractive to her. Had nothing to do with character.
The problem is that women will often get turned inside out because they try (sometimes for years) to “change” a man that they are physically attracted to into someone with the character traits they want..and it never works.
Rather than picking the most attractive man they can find who ALREADY has those traits. It’s why men say-when wome complain, “where are all the good men?”-either “with the good women” or “In your friendzone”.
Hooks ups are different than seeking relationships though. Sometimes women just wanna get laid too. Or we rush in sexually when it would be smarter to slow shit down. Just about everyone does that.
@@Captain_MonsterFart Yes. But men are open about the fact that the women they simply want to sleep with are not the same as those they’ll consider marrying. Women too often seem to try to turn the men that they want to sleep with into being the kind of man they want to marry…and that never ends well.
But she also never said she slept with him because of character.
Nothing in your example suggests she's wrong for thinking he's a jerk. Women say men are jerks when men are jerks. Like I don't get what you're saying here
As an old man I notice that men are attracted to women such that physical attraction usually comes before the character traits that men are also quite aware they want. I also have learned that both sexes are capable of maturing and in our current non traditional social arrangements sometimes find more mutually compatible partners. In traditional marriage where the partners were married for life they could sometimes manage to grow together into a mature relationship. But as we know, not always. Likewise today people can go through a series of relationships without learning much at all. Biology pushes us to reproduce on the basis of attraction, but perhaps both sexes are best served when they recognise that romantic love alone is pretty blind and mature love requires time and a lot of hard work and honesty.
Most sane comment in the whole section. Thank you for not being wicked.
Marrying for love is a modern concept. That's why most old love stories were about royalty, because only royalty could afford the luxury of marrying for love.
For the rest of society it was either about forging alliances amongs the nobility and merchant class. Or it was about making kids to help on the farm and take care of you when you were old and feeble amongst the lower classes.
Amen Sir. Well said. Thank you very, very much.
@@thomass2125 royalty were the least likely to marry for love, like how do you even think that lmao. Royalty exclusively married for political reasons lol
Appreciate the kind, wise, & thoughtful comment, sir 💛 relationships can be much improved with maturity by all parties
Thank you for clarifying. I knew this, but I had not put it into words. Perfectly said.
I'm told I am a pretty good looking guy. For the first time in my life, I am really only interested at this point in becoming more attractive to myself. I'm watching this man's videos because it's becoming abundantly obvious the woman I have been with for almost 13 years is not someone I want to be with anymore. I want to change for the better and I've been watching her slowly change for the worse. I'm excited about becoming a much better friend and coach to myself and finally addressing some long overdue issues with how I view the world. This guy has helped me a great deal in the last couple days and I like his approach.
Bottom line, if she’s NOT attracted to you, it doesn’t matter if you possess every virtue ON THE PLANET!!!
And it doesn’t matter if you’re a bum with no prospects. If she finds you hot and exciting that’s it.
@@jamesg1974a
James, completely AGREE!
I can tell you stories....
Yes. The error is the idealization, virtue etc. What she is doing essentially is selecting genes for her offspring. So very understandably she selects mostly on physical appearance.
That's the same for men being attracted to women. You can be everything they want, but if your body does not appeal to them, forget it.
@@lisathuban8969 Agreed. Men do rate looks a lot. But women seem to rate both looks and wealth. They're just as turned off by obesity, lack of symmetry, and are even fussier about certain aspects such as height. The only thing they're more easygoing about is age difference. A minority of women can be attracted to older men. This is much rarer amongst men.
I'm grateful that I'm at the age where I don't have to care what anyone else wants or thinks.
@@stevearcher6100 I can't disagree with your premise. I never had any children and I recognize that I have the luxury of not worrying about a lot of things because of that.
Great answer not exactly to this topic, but in general said an european, czech comedy actress……as she wanted to find new purpose in life of personal, spiritual transformation of happiness….she started to read a lot of books, for example by Lazariev…….It helped her a lot, mostly during covid.
And then she as 48 years old started to make seminars about her duscoveries and what helped her etc and because she is a comedian she knows how to make people luagh, and give them the sense of how they should transform their own happiness. Her father is her inspiration. So she did the seminars also colleagues or with her father. She wrote 2 humorous books about funny adventures and stories with her father, to make people laugh after the covid nonsense……… She said that as she found out you may open your heart chakra even if you dont fall in love with anybody…..because the purpose of your life is to loving yourself first, loving your hobbies, sports, travelling, food, all the interesting inspirational things.
Its your purpose since childhood. But many kids didnt experience self-love even in childhood, because nobody taught them it….they heard the criticism too often, so they learned the wrong habits except the self love……she didnt say it this way but many people as her, explain this basic stuff about self-love and childhood. For example Dr. Bruce Lipton explains it too. She also liked him………..but she wanted to say the basic thing is that people dont understand that they may open the heart chakra, or whatever you want call it, even if they dont fall in love with human being…because you start to love everything, your life hobbies etc…your friends, family or even unknown people…..…..but she says usually with most people happens is that they have the heart chakra closed, but it opens only when they fall in love with someone, because they can not help it….it happens without a planing. It happens by itself…….but the people who do meditation practice, open the heart chakra on purpose…..it has great health benefits, you become happier, healthier, you start to have more friends….but thing is you have to practice daily a love, gratitude, empathy, stoping watching too much violence that compromisees the mind etc. Start reading info about it. Maybe the best way is to do the work, then the love partner finds you without effort.
But yet your here listening to what this fellow thinks on RUclips.
Thats hilarious & revealing !! More power to all good men.
Phenomenal video! Thanks for putting this out there!
My first divorce really messed me up. I did a lot of hanging out in this "Country Western" ("Billy Bob's," "Urban Cowboy") place. It was either that or sit around my apartment and go stark raving. I learned to dance. Travolta had nothing on me. I decided I was going to figure out "what is wrong with me?" and fixe it. I would ask women (more than once) "What do you want in a man?" They would answer "I want this and this and this," I would go "check, check, check." Then she would leave with some loud-mouthed drunk that had had one to many a six pack ago!!!
I would go W--T--F?? Then I FINALLY realized it wasn't me. IT WAS THEM! There was what women said they wanted, and then there was what "FLIPPED THEIR SWITCH," and if that is what she wanted, HE WAS WELCOME TO HER. More than one came back asking for a second chance. NOPE! I wanted someone that VALUED what I had to offer. I learned to tell the difference. Not too long after that, I met the woman who has been the warm fire in my wilderness for 38 years.
So you met a bunch of women in a bar drinking alcohol and now wonder why you struck out?
So glad you found your Loving Mate ❤❤
I think the real issue is what you're doing when you try to mold yourself into something that is attractive to "women" you become a different person or pretend to be a different person. The problem arises after you have "won" the woman and maintaining that false personna become tedious and uncomfortable. You begin to revert to your true self. The person you are comfortable being. The woman then feels you've changed, your not the man I married etc etc etc.
I'm 60 odd years of life I've had two wives and many many relationships before that.
I first married at age 38. My experience with women before that was this. If I treated them well. If I was attentive, kind, considerate, and thoughtful of them they grew disinterested and left or cheated. If I did as I pleased, I don't mean being necessarily disrespectful or hurtful to them. I mean just did what I wanted to do and allowed them to join me in my activities or my life as it was, if they chose to, as if it did not matter to me. If I was clear that if they weren't interested, I'd just find someone else or be on my own. Then I couldn't get rid of them. They might get angry. They might storm out or leave. However they never broke up with me, never threatened to leave, never cheated. I really don't understand it.
So I say to men out there. Be yourself. You may not get a woman. Be prepared to be single. Single is way better than being in a relationship where you have to pretend to be someone else.
If you put yourself in casual contact with many women, more than likely you'll find one that likes the real you or rather she'll find you.
Why do we always see women as a prize to be won. There no more a prize than men are. Why should men have to change our maleness to be more palatable to women. We're men. Be a man and let them be women. Today it almost feels like they've made it a crime to be a man.
WOW am I long winded or what?🤣🤣🤣
At this point it’s not a red pill but black
I don’t know how you can cope with that reality if women only assume men that are attractive
I think you're right, but the things he listed in the video are things that everyone should be striving for regardless of a desire for a partner. Things like being fit, knowing how to have an interesting conversation, having some goals and knowing how to achieve them, these things all make life worth living. I think you both have important and correct points, need them both to get it right.
@@jakemoore6891 but you should do those things for you not somebody else.😁👍
@@wolfhors3_660 100%
That was brilliant...
This is soooooooooo true.
When a woman "gives you"
the key to the puzzle,
the key itself is a puzzle.
This concept you got right, you nailed this !.
I don’t know why this channel was recommended to me but I want to say that I am an almost 60 year old woman and I have NEVER heard anyone, male or female, admit this concept before. I lived my whole life believing that I was weird for wanting to be with a man I was attracted to - because even so-called male dating coaches tell women to just give the guy a chance even if she is not attracted to him. Anyway - thanks for saying what you said. It’s true.
I'm glad you found the channel!
It's because women lie when questioned as to make them seem all sweet and wholesome. Most modern men already know this.
The thing is that if a woman is attracted to a man, chances are another woman will be thus that man will likely not settle down because he has options.
@@Hypersonik it may not be so much that they lie. More that they have been conditioned to think that they should be interested in the personality not the looks and believe it of themselves
@@helendancelot That's a distinct possibility. The result is a lie though, no matter the cause.
@@helendancelot It's for sure a lie, though they might not realize it. Men have the exact same thing, we are told not to be shallow too. Tbh though I haven't even heard these types of lies since high school. Adults know that a lot of people are prioritizing the physical (and demeanor, displays of competence and prowess) and if they don't figure that out they are probably in for a world of hurt.
Soooo true. I failed at this when I was younger. Thinking if I become everything in her list , then she would be attracted to me. Instead of building attraction first by embracing my masculine nature. Don’t put the cart before the horse.
Same. Same..
Don't waste time on what women want because it changes during the monthly cycle
Exactly! When men ask me on first dates what I’m looking for I remain as vague as possible as I’m not willing to give them a detailed list of what they should show me they have to win me over. Just be yourself and let’s see if you meet my requirements. I’ll let them know as soon as they don’t, within reason.
@@zainajenkins You speak like you're some kind of a price
@@richard_from_england333 exactly. 👍
This is a critical concept and illuminating to hear. I'm sending the link to this video to my twenty-something son.
When your video views are double the numbers of your subscribers, that how you know you re reaching lot people with your message. Which is why I m subscribing now.
As a recovering “nice guy”, this took me a while to figure out. Part of the problem is that men interpret the question as “what men are you attracted to”, but these answers have nothing to do with attraction.
This is the talk that my brother or father should have had with me when I was a teenager.
Word. I am so grateful that mine did!
Maybe their father never had it with them…focus on what you learnt and not on what others should have done for you. Maybe help them..
Maybe they didn't know until it was too late and spent their life wondering what happened to the wonderful girl they asked to marry them.
@@billgreen576 exactly
exactly this, wasted 15 of my best years following mothers useless advice. now she is complaining why she has no grandkids.
Starting to pick up what you're putting down.... Thank you for another great video
Solid advice -- "attraction comes first before all the things they list/say"
You nailed it. It took me a while to understand that what a woman wants and what she is attracted to are 2 different things. An interesting consequence was once I figured woman out I no longer desired them. On to my next quest!
I dropped all pretense of wanting women about 22 years ago. I went full monk mode. After I did, I found myself getting approached in supermarkets, hardware stores, the post office, you name it. Weird. I am polite, but distance myself. Women can sense that, "I don't care attitude" and are drawn to it. Now that I want nothing to do with them I have a lot of choices.
@@RespectMyAuthoritaah I think that's partly due to the inherent desire for attention that most women have (which isn't soley a trait of women of course, but it definitely seems to be present predominantly in women). If she isn't getting the attention from someone that she feels she should be, subconsciously she'll want to figure out why that is. So in a weird way, it does often end up working out better in the long run for men to not do the chasing, lol.
The “good news” is, that after you spent most of your life trying to emulate the qualities women list as desirable and doubling down on these qualities at every turn (since the logical conclusion is that you must not be “nice” enough), the solution is here. If you are tired of not getting picked, you can now simply transform your physical body, transform your outward appearance and style completely, transform your personality to be more extroverted and socially graceful, and finally getting successful in your chosen field of work. In short: be somebody else.
You could do all that, or… and hear me out now… you could just focus on making yourself happy. You only live once and spending that time trying to measure up to someone else’s idea of a good partner/person/employee, etc is a waste of time. I’m tired of the clickbait titles of “you must do these 5 things” on youtube/tiktok. It only serves to make you feel inadequate and demotivate you from getting anywhere. Don’t lift a finger for anything other than your own happiness and the goals that you set in life. If you want to get at the top of your chosen field, do so because you like your job, not because you think it will impress a woman. If you want to be healthy, you can pick up healthy eating habits and start working out. If you pick up these habits just to get some “tail” you are just pretending, and it won’t last very long.
tl;dr a salty dude complains over the content and overly positive vibe but ultimately goes on to say the same thing as the guy in the video, but with a slight twist.
Agreed. Most women don't judge men based on their character, they judge men based on their attraction and utility. When I realized this, I stopped worrying about being judged by women. To be fair, I also realized that I was judging women in the same light, and I started surrounding myself with women of good character.
Absolutely, taking care of your own needs (house, car, etc) is not easy nowdays.
The tl;dr made me lol fr, but you've raised some great points. Good advice for us women too 👍
Really good points and I completely agree. We women need to hear this too. The best thing you can do for you or anyone else is to work on yourself. Know yourself and heal your own wounds. Get to know yourself as someone you like and love.
A woman will help you to be happier. This is where i disagree with you. Purpose, on the other hand, is developed by the man and who/what he learns from. Purpose is more valuable than happiness in my opinion.
Sure... just be tall and handsome
Just found your channel and am fully subscribed. Answering a lot of questions I didn't even know I had. Thank you Good Sir.
My wife watched this with me. She says you are 100% correct in your assessment of this.
Great answer not exactly to this topic, but in general said an european, czech comedy actress……as she wanted to find new purpose in life of personal, spiritual transformation of happiness….she started to read a lot of books, for example by Lazariev…….It helped her a lot, mostly during covid.
And then she as 48 years old started to make seminars about her duscoveries and what helped her etc and because she is a comedian she knows how to make people luagh, and give them the sense of how they should transform their own happiness. Her father is her inspiration. So she did the seminars also colleagues or with her father. She wrote 2 humorous books about funny adventures and stories with her father, to make people laugh after the covid nonsense……… She said that as she found out you may open your heart chakra even if you dont fall in love with anybody…..because the purpose of your life is to loving yourself first, loving your hobbies, sports, travelling, food, all the interesting inspirational things.
Its your purpose since childhood. But many kids didnt experience self-love even in childhood, because nobody taught them it….they heard the criticism too often, so they learned the wrong habits except the self love……she didnt say it this way but many people as her, explain this basic stuff about self-love and childhood. For example Dr. Bruce Lipton explains it too. She also liked him………..but she wanted to say the basic thing is that people dont understand that they may open the heart chakra, or whatever you want call it, even if they dont fall in love with human being…because you start to love everything, your life hobbies etc…your friends, family or even unknown people…..…..but she says usually with most people happens is that they have the heart chakra closed, but it opens only when they fall in love with someone, because they can not help it….it happens without a planing. It happens by itself…….but the people who do meditation practice, open the heart chakra on purpose…..it has great health benefits, you become happier, healthier, you start to have more friends….but thing is you have to practice daily a love, gratitude, empathy, stoping watching too much violence that compromisees the mind etc. Start reading info about it. Maybe the best way is to do the work, then the love partner finds you without effort.
your right hand talks? you might have more than just one big problem
😂
Absolutely. There has to be attraction in a sexual relationship
I've been out on hundreds of dates. I am now in my 60's and NEVER have women EVER asked me anything on a date about my morals, ethics or beliefs. Instead, they ask me about where I live, what I drive, where I go on vacations, how tall I am, and questions about my social network.
Women LIE.
I have ALWAYS been in good shape, I am tall, have a full head of hair, I have had very good jobs and had a very reliable social network. It was NEVER ENOUGH. It NEVER IS!
A date is a lot like a job interview. But when you are older like Jubal and me it's like an interview for a job you really don't want, but you just want to work a day or two and then quit once you see what it's like.
God asked Adam, "What's wrong? Adam said he was lonely and didn't have anyone to talk to. God told Adam he would create a woman and Adam asked, "What is that?" God said, "This woman is someone who will cook for you, won't argue with you, will never have a headache when you want to have sex with her, and will look after your children when you start a family." Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?" God said, "An arm and a leg." Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?" The rest is history.
And your horoscope sign. They will ask you that.
@@trucid2 Funny! But TRUE!!
I've known lotz of women who refuse to go out with men based SOLELY on their horoscope! Idiots! (But, who wants to date an idiot - much less be married to one!)
Jubal Harshaw - Believe me, when trying to score, everyone lies. Married men lie about being married, either saying they aren't. or they are separated, or getting divorced...just to name a few lines. Yeah, everyone lies.
This is such a good video. It fits with the real world, not the BS make believe we’re told.
Years ago I had a co-worker who was an interesting guy. You want to talk about a guy who “had game”? This guy wrote the book!
He didn’t waste time on what women SAID they wanted. He was a player, he made himself what women DESIRED!
The most amazing thing for me was how these women would imagine things about him. They’d imagine that he was loyal, that he loved them, each woman thought she was the only one in his life. And in reality she’s just Miss Tuesday.
So yeah, there’s a lot of blah blah blah about what people say they want. And they’ll rationalize themselves into seeing these things in what they actually desire.
And there absolutely are people out there, both men and women, who know this instinctively and can play you so bad you won’t know your head from your toes.
I as a woman say: If you as a man can make my mind fantasizing about you then you get me!
Your ideas are invaluable.
I think women have two facets to what we, and they, call attraction. The first is things that arouse them. Arousal is purely physical. In women, this is usually a lean, muscular physique (emphasis on muscular), good grooming, and dressing the part. Good grooming should be self-explanatory, but we're living in the age of ultra-low erudition, so it means to have your hair combed, cut, and in a classic style, your beard trimmed, your teeth brushed, and application of cologne. Dressing the part means dressing according to the level of income and professionalism you've achieved. There's nothing wrong with wearing a suit and tie even though every man I know seems to think that's uncool.
The second part is what I'll call need-based attraction. Women are resource extractors. So they are attracted to men with resources. Resources means money, but also skills, time, attention, and abilities that will make her feel better about you and make her life better. The kicker is that you might have all the resources in the world, and thus be attractive to her needs, but if you don't make her hot, if you don't arouse her, she's going to seek those resources from the men who do. It's that simple. The sad truth is that women don't care about the person you are on the inside unless you give them a reason to. As Chris Rock famously said, men are loved only on condition that they provide something of value., and value in this case means being both desirable (arousal) and attractive (needs).
Oh stfu, men want to date young and attractive women they don't "love" fat old women either. You don't want a woman for "love" and you don't love her for what"s "inside". You want a young, pretty woman, for sex.
get lost haha
I agree with the above whole heartedly except for this line: "The sad truth is that women don't care about the person you are on the inside unless you give them a reason to". That may be SOME women but its not ALL women. Many women care about the person you are inside.
@@tamarasophia6145 Bullshite. You can delude yourself all you want that you, and some other minority of women, care about a man's character, but you're fooling no one but yourself. You might admire a man, but that's not the same as the quality of his character being the deciding factor in your willingness to love him. Women love opportunistically, so as soon as you have an opportunity with another man who is more attractive and has more resources you can extract, the character of the man you're with won't matter at all. In fact, you'll manufacture some reasons why it's HIS fault you're leaving him for the new dude.
@@juliancate7089 Its a very hostile brush you are painting ALL women with. I apologize on behalf of all the women that hurt you. I didn't say his character is the ONLY or DECIDING factor, I said its a factor. Just like the way a woman looks is not the ONLY or DECIDING factor for most men; they also consider character. 🤨😟And NOT ALL women love based on a man's money. Very hostile brush. Men with your attitude make me nervous to be in the dating world. The hate is palpable.
@@tamarasophia6145 Tamara, he means he thinks he should be getting sexual rewards for being "a good person". As you and I women know, a woman who is polite and nice but ugly sick or old does not matter either to these men (they want sexual access to desirable women).
He just does not want to make himself desirable (be fit, eat well, groom a bit, be social).
This makes so much sense. Ive been arguing with the women in my life that women dont find me attractive, yet I have those qualities they say they want. None of the women can seem to answer me in a way that feels right. Ive always felt like women are more shallow and picky about what they find attractive in men but every woman will coutner with looks dont matter blah blah blah and list these things are what they are looking for.
Now I realize women believe these are what they are looking for but thats because they automatically disqualify everyone they arent attracted to first then look for these traits. Makes way more sense now. Thanks.
They don't normally don't know the answer to that question. What actually attracts them is simply masculinity. Masculinity means drive, purpose, mission, overcoming obstacles, succeeding, achieving goals, being decisive and being sure of yourself, and sure of who you are and boundaries. Basically, getting your stuff together. They have to NOTICE this on their own. This is generally what causes the initial attraction, and then they look for more things. You cannot be trying to flaunt it, because that would be unattractive, because thats feminine. So you literally just getting stuff done and enjoying yourself while you do it is what attracts them. They tend to put themselves in your orbit. It's like you are driving a fun bus and know exactly the direction you're headed, and they want to be part of it. So it really isn't based on looks as much for them.
They also like patient men, and men that go for what they want and are ok if they don't get it.
There's no ''set'' criteria for whom you'll find attractive-it depends on too many factors. People need to stop approaching attraction like a checklist, it doesn't work that way.
They're lying to themselves through you to come out as a good person. THis is the female psychey, they have no idea of what they do or what guides their emotions and actions. They're actually very manipulable, and when you see how most of them conform to msm propaganda, it all makes sense
They're hypocrites.
They can judge you all they want, but you better not judge them.
Finally! Someone spitting out the facts! 🔥🎯😎👏
Mind blowing video! I watch it again and again.
I'm 59 yrs old and dating women 10-15 yrs younger. His advice is spot on. I go to the gym, wear stylish clothes etc. Fact is, most all women love bad boys, until you actually exhibit those bad boy traits. I also believe they think, "I can change/train him. 😂
Appreciated.. could u name few bad boys traits ??
Yes, that's the core of it. It's the beauty and the beast story. They want to be the one woman who tames the beast that no other woman has, but when she's done so, she gets bored and goes after another beast to try to tame. Women come on to me assuming I'm a bad boy and want to join my harem in order to be the one woman who claims me for herself, taming me. I shake my head in mild despair.
Yeah woman can't "change a man" they can either support and assist a man into bettering himself if he actually wants to or be a harmful factor in the man's life. The fantasy that a woman can change a man is just the female equivalent of a man's fantasy of having a girlfriend that shares him with her friends.
Women get with men thinking they can change them to what they want. Men get with women hoping they won't change despite having a kid or two.
Immaturity, delusional and overly entitled.
Yep, women often give mile long answers to short, direct questions. The answers are designed to make them look better, pure, virtuous, grossing over the flaws.
"When you're painting a masterpiece, be sure to hide the brush strokes", Mad Men.
I figured this out long ago, and was rather hoping you would get it too, sir. Thanks.
Absolutely brilliant! So spot on:)
Everyone is looking for the most physically attractive mate. The character traits each individual brings to the relationship is what keeps the couple together. It always starts with the lust of the eye, however.
>>Everyone is looking for the most physically attractive mate.
@@alexmuenster2102 truth
Very solid advice in 4 minutes. Choose a woman that chooses you. Life's better this way
Or not. That means you are 10th on her list of potential fall back options. And can be dropped any second that her number one choice clicks his fingers. In fact she is probably still seeing number one as one of his side chicks.....hoping.
@@billgreen576 that's what a male friend of a woman is, a potential suitor, just not right now. 8.2 times out of 10.
I'll keep it short and sweet. Great stuff. You put into words so well what I have learned through my own experience, but couldnt quite nail down. Happy to be a new subscriber. Looking forward to viewing your content. Thank you.
Well said. I’ve dated a lot of women and this guy speaks the truth.
This is a particularly valuable video, especially for young men in the dating market. There is so much fluff and outright BS out there, leading men away from the truth. This is short, but pure gold. Pay attention men.
A man “loves”.
A woman “dates”.
Young men are not in a dating market, unless they are women.
Test on Monday.
As a young man, I Learned to stop chasing the woman I fancied, but to look around, and see which women were interested in me. That is the group you can pick from. Everyone has heard that old adage, woman make up their mind whether they will date you or not in the first few seconds. Once they’ve made this judgement it’s very hard to sway them otherwise. It would take a revelation to make them suddenly see you in a new light. It’s not impossible, but difficult or may require circumstances beyond your control.
There are a lot of woman who really don’t want to date you, but they’ll let you spent your money on them, lead you on thinking they are about to be won over. Beware of these woman, they’ll never come around. If they aren’t attracted to you the first time you talk to them, move along.
Men fall in love, woman choose who they will fall in love with.
"I want someone that is smart and funny" that is what I was told as a teenager. Took almost 20 years to realize I believe one BS sentence for half my life.
If you're a man, never take advice from women. What works for women doesn't work for men.
@@023achilles I wonder what sort of cultures you guys live in. I know plenty of broke, funny fuggos that are dating, married, and with kids.
You absolutely nailed it. Physical appearance always takes priority over everything else. One man said it best: Women only laugh at the jokes of a guy they are attracted to, even if the jokes are lousy.
Well, appearance and money. There's plenty of examples of women being with a relatively old, physically unattractive man. Because he's rich.
But yeah, it's a bit sad that many women don't primarily look at my accomplishments and values and character, and instead look at my body and bank account.
Norm MacDonald rip
Not just those.
Masculinity. The Vibe.
Very well explained and sensible, thank you for your video, Luis Sa
Congratz on a hundred K!!!!!!!
1. Being physically attractive
1a. Having a ton of money
1c. Being physically fit
2. Knowing how to dress.
3. Charming conversation
4. Choosing a life mission
5. Obtaining success
6. Picking up some game
5/8 are typical superficial wants of today's women.
Great answer not exactly to this topic, but in general said an european, czech comedy actress……as she wanted to find new purpose in life of personal, spiritual transformation of happiness….she started to read a lot of books, for example by Lazariev…….It helped her a lot, mostly during covid.
And then she as 48 years old started to make seminars about her duscoveries and what helped her etc and because she is a comedian she knows how to make people luagh, and give them the sense of how they should transform their own happiness. Her father is her inspiration. So she did the seminars also colleagues or with her father. She wrote 2 humorous books about funny adventures and stories with her father, to make people laugh after the covid nonsense……… She said that as she found out you may open your heart chakra even if you dont fall in love with anybody…..because the purpose of your life is to loving yourself first, loving your hobbies, sports, travelling, food, all the interesting inspirational things.
Its your purpose since childhood. But many kids didnt experience self-love even in childhood, because nobody taught them it….they heard the criticism too often, so they learned the wrong habits except the self love……she didnt say it this way but many people as her, explain this basic stuff about self-love and childhood. For example Dr. Bruce Lipton explains it too. She also liked him………..but she wanted to say the basic thing is that people dont understand that they may open the heart chakra, or whatever you want call it, even if they dont fall in love with human being…because you start to love everything, your life hobbies etc…your friends, family or even unknown people…..…..but she says usually with most people happens is that they have the heart chakra closed, but it opens only when they fall in love with someone, because they can not help it….it happens without a planing. It happens by itself…….but the people who do meditation practice, open the heart chakra on purpose…..it has great health benefits, you become happier, healthier, you start to have more friends….but thing is you have to practice daily a love, gratitude, empathy, stoping watching too much violence that compromisees the mind etc. Start reading info about it. Maybe the best way is to do the work, then the love partner finds you without effort.
Women probably have similar problem that they usually think that the nice, polite and goodlooking one, is already dating someone else or is married.
So its almost the same problem. That their confidence is also very limited and
The women who have some moral compas wouldnt want to take the guy from other woman…..
After all she even may be glad that such good guy has a nice person by his side….and that some harmony in the world exists..
Of course we have to differentiate women in few categories.
19 years old may have completelly different point of view than 35 years old woman.
20 years old doesnt know yet what she is looking for, the looks or the character or other qualities.
It seems the 35 years old realises that the guy should also have a poetic side of personality, liking some nice music, going to theater or Opera, helping the neighbor in need, or things like that….
The poetic side is very attractive, though some people dont realise it, because televission rarely shows poetic side of people. They usually show expensive houses and cars, but not the really nice things.
And if a father wants to help his daughter to find the guy with a character and with a poetic side of personality, its his choice,
but maybe the father also should show some of his humorous side and say it with humor, or say it poetically……
So the daughter will feel it not with her brain but with her heart.
Scientists found out that heart is much smarter than brain.
Heart is not about logic.
As Deepak Chopra says Love is irrational wisdom of the heart.
They found out that electric field of the heart is 100 000 times bigger than electric field of brain and magnetic field of heart is 5000 times bigger than magnetic field of brain.
So heart is much more powerful, even though human brain tries to solve everything with logic.
If the man was this great, who would'nt want a relationship with him. I would, and I'm a straight man.
If every woman wants them, they're not superficial. It can't be that all women are superficial - it has to be that our society has been trying to coach women away from their instincts and it's become harmful in relationship building. Being physically attractive is always #1 to everyone that's participating in natural selection, and that's the vast majority. Some might have had their minds conditioned to think a little otherwise through lies like religion or social construction, and that's where things get fuzzy. But the basic truth is that natural selection is primal instinct and primal qualities are what attract us all along - it's why storytelling and movies must evoke primal qualities in us: the need to laugh, the power of terror, the need to overcome, redemption, partnership, defense of home, monster in the house, etc.
I am a woman and I can say that this is exactly what women want lol
Interacting with women is like going to a madhouse with the intention of finding a sage.
Good advice. Also since most people meet on dating apps it's not a bad idea to research what women actually click on when they are on a dating site and tailor your profile to accentuate the attractive features you possess
Ah, I wondered where this was going, but it makes complete sense. What attracted me most about the visuals in this video are the three empty shelves in the bookcase. More books! :D
That's so true. But it's worth noting that if you have enough time around a woman, say at work or school, she might develop an attraction to you after getting to know you. But that's a risky game for you because you might simple be the ok option she has at that moment so you were perceived as viable, but as soon someone 'better' comes down the line, she'll kick you to the curve.
*to the curb.
But yeah you're right!
@@mediocreman2 I'd never guess that. Thank you. English is not my first language and i would bet money it was curve. I'll never forget now.
Yes! Yes! Yes! So true. I wasted a lot of years thinking “what are you looking for in a man?” is the same thing as “what are you attracted to?”.
YES Attraction comes first. What he looks like.
This was so obvious to me as I was growing up because I've never been a good looking guy so I know what it's like being on this side and watching everyone else enjoy their lives.
Attraction is not as plain as good looks. It can be an important component for some women. But frankly speaking good looks are good for something like "being noticed" and that's where it ends. It can even be a reason why ppl keep getting into dysfunctional connections, cause there's nothing there other than looks.
Different people require different strategies. People like me, who'll not be fooled by missing looks and certainly not be fooled by presence of good looks do exist. :D
Funny story: Mine can look anything. If I start to like him as a person, I start getting physically attracted AFTER that (I think they call it "demisexual"). Aka whatever they look like is what I find attractive XDDDD. And in the reverse, I've had really good looking ppl approach me and some of them I even found decent as ppl but I couldn't feel sexually attracted for the life of me.
Things like "Does he fit my sensory needs" can be freaking important and are not really learnable. They either fit or don't and it's noone's fault!
This is absolutely true. Attraction and chemistry have to be present first in order to view that guy as a potential date. If not then no matter how kind he is, he will be put in the friend zone.
That's right. It's really bad for the planet that most men aren't taught this as boys.
Making yourself attractive solely for the purpose of attracting women is a fool's errand. Live a good life with meaningful endeavors and people, including women, will gravitate to you.
Great answer not exactly to this topic, but in general said an european, czech comedy actress……as she wanted to find new purpose in life of personal, spiritual transformation of happiness….she started to read a lot of books, for example by Lazariev…….It helped her a lot, mostly during covid.
And then she as 48 years old started to make seminars about her duscoveries and what helped her etc and because she is a comedian she knows how to make people luagh, and give them the sense of how they should transform their own happiness. Her father is her inspiration. So she did the seminars also colleagues or with her father. She wrote 2 humorous books about funny adventures and stories with her father, to make people laugh after the covid nonsense……… She said that as she found out you may open your heart chakra even if you dont fall in love with anybody…..because the purpose of your life is to loving yourself first, loving your hobbies, sports, travelling, food, all the interesting inspirational things.
Its your purpose since childhood. But many kids didnt experience self-love even in childhood, because nobody taught them it….they heard the criticism too often, so they learned the wrong habits except the self love……she didnt say it this way but many people as her, explain this basic stuff about self-love and childhood. For example Dr. Bruce Lipton explains it too. She also liked him………..but she wanted to say the basic thing is that people dont understand that they may open the heart chakra, or whatever you want call it, even if they dont fall in love with human being…because you start to love everything, your life hobbies etc…your friends, family or even unknown people…..…..but she says usually with most people happens is that they have the heart chakra closed, but it opens only when they fall in love with someone, because they can not help it….it happens without a planing. It happens by itself…….but the people who do meditation practice, open the heart chakra on purpose…..it has great health benefits, you become happier, healthier, you start to have more friends….but thing is you have to practice daily a love, gratitude, empathy, stoping watching too much violence that compromisees the mind etc. Start reading info about it. Maybe the best way is to do the work, then the love partner finds you without effort.
They want someone that sexually excites them but never say that.
Can you guess why?
That’s what the question is- what do you want in a man? Is the same as What turns you on?
@@sonofhibbs4425 why
Correct, they'll cheat on a guy that's nice to them with some 'gangsta' type because of the 'bad boy' image.
Yeah because if they do, all men call them a slut. Men posting on channels like this always have a problem with women no matter what we do 😂 can’t win
This is all facts! I’ve been saying this for years!! You gatta show women that you’re a tough man before you show her you’re a good man!
Thanks! Great insights
Facts.
And this is also why getting dating and first approach advice from women is rarely of any value to men.
They simply tell you what they would want a man (that they already find highly attractive) to do if he approached her.
And, of course, the problem with that is that studies have shown that most women don’t find most men attractive.
So essentially, all women do is tell men what Ryan Gosling should do if he ever decided to approach her.
Hahahaha
so for men be the best you can be and hope for the best
Most women don't find most men attractive, yet we have 8 billion of us.
Imagine if women found men attractive lol.
@@JJ-vp3bd sad but true
Here's a question for you: How self aware are women about what they are attracted to and to what degree do they recognize that they are sending out signals of attraction? My experience is that women OFTEN deny attraction to men that they then ending up sleeping with. They also OFTEN deny that they are signaling proceptivity when they are dressing provocatively, showing a lot of skin etc. Instead they rationalize these behaviors as "wanting to feel pretty" or "dressing for myself." I suspect that these behaviors are unconscious, but I find that women get defensive when you ask them about this.
Make friends with women, like real actual friends with them. So many of you guys would have so many fewer questions about women if you could bring yourselves to truly deep-down understand that we are humans, and that if you were in our shoes you'd do the exact same kinds of things.
Which proves they are lying from the get go.
@@popejaimie If we were in your shoes while still having the brain of a man, we would absolutely not do the same kind of things. Same goes in reverse. We're both humans but we have very different psyches and biological directives
@@popejaimieThat wouldn’t solve anything. You would still deceive us from female nature.
@@Jdb63 false
Great content as always
I cliked just to "see", not expecting much from the video. Tbh, i didnt learn much, I have to say it. BUT, I do consider that it was a VERY VERY important thing to say and in a 4min video... I think you did a really good job
Intelligent men are slowly learning to avoid women - they are nothing but drama and trouble. It takes awareness for men to realize this. Many are learning.
Don't chase women ever ever ever
Enlightening! Thank you!
Just saw you on a random fresh and fit podcast. Very glad to have discovered your content.
Reminds me of an interview with the guy that wrote the book How To Pick Up Women. There was also a woman on the show, and her responses were right along the lines of this video. What she says she wants is not the guy that takes her home.
This is very true! Although part of the reason why women don't list what makes them actually attracted, is because its really hard to tell what it is. I can guess, based on who I've been attracted to in the past, but its often not very accurate (it doesn't help predict who I'll be attracted to in the future very well). All I know is that its some combination of appearance and body language.
I have a really hard time being attracted to a picture for example, without seeing that person in motion. Actors I'm attracted to in one movie make me not attracted in another movie. Someone who looks cute in their dating profile leaves me feeling nothing on the date itself. Its all very confusing. I think, and take this with a grain of salt, they are generally taller than me, with relatively even facial features, fit but not a muscle man, relatively confident, and focused? I think is the right word for the feeling I get from them.
So when someone says, "what are you looking for in a man?", its easy to default to what I would want in a long term partner, and leave out the confusing attraction aspect.
Hint: What are your parents (or whoever you were closest to growing up) like? What traits about them-both very good and very bad--stand out in your mind?
Understand that, and I’ll bet you’ll start to see a pattern emerge in the type of person you are attracted to. As well as those who you are not.
As for the physical features you’re describing? Height, symmetric face, fitness, confident, assertive? That’s our biology talking. Those are all makers of good genes, good health, and a man that is like to be able to provide for and protect a family. Which is not the same as someone who is likely to make a satisfying partner in a long term relationship.
But thank you for being honest. In my experience, many women are in the same boat you are. They are unaware of the disconnect between what collection of traits they say they want in a long term partner, and those found in the men they keep finding themselves attracted to. Which is why I say to not listen to what a woman says she wants. Watch and see who she is drawn to. Her actions will reveal the truth.
Yeah it's unconscious chemistry that makes us feel attraction most of the time. This is why I can't bring myself to start online dating. It's seriously missing that important element!
@@Captain_MonsterFart Same. It’s kind of dehumanizing, really…
Women don't know what they want, and it changes day by day. Summarized answer.
You're attracted to status, everything else is just a cue for status.
Absolutely true. I sorted myself out, became way more attractive, and the difference is mind blowing.
How did you become "more attractive"?
@justathinker8669 crickets chirping
I learned this years ago from the book The Manual: What Women Want, highly recommended!
What women tend not to do when communicating is be truly straightforward and honest There's always a little dodging around the question as if they are expecting the audience to fill in the blanks.
I've always seen it as a social contagion; women are told what they're supposed to be interested in, then parrot that back while dating guys who do the exact opposite. The "but I need to ve attracted first" addition makes more sense, though, and women just respond to what's physically being asked, not what's meant: "how do I attract women?"
I'm convinced that this disconnect is a large part of what creates incels
I remember an internet response from a 'lady', where she insisted that intellectual and emotional attraction could develop over time, but never physical attraction!! Just think of the implications of that statement. You don't find someone more or less attractive based on their physical fitness (which can obviously change)? You don't find a woman with long hair more attractive than one with short hair (iow again level of attractiveness is changing)? You can't learn to appreciate a certain physical attribute, like smaller breasts and bigger behind, if you previously considered yourself a 'boob guy'? You swore you would never date someone with tattoos or a single gray hair until...
It just struck me as laughably absurd.
Your vidoes are awesome.
Keep them going...
If a person (man or woman) has to change who they fundamentally are to attract their mate... the union will most likely never last. A women putting on industrial strength makeup for instance, or a man wearing clothes he doesn't like or being nice when he's not. The overwhelming amount of people will at some point revert back to who they fundamentally are. A leopard can't change its spots.
Precisely. Terrible message to send, that one has to change to be liked or wanted.
We all suck. We all need to change but for ourselves, not for our partner. But having a relationship brings all your shit to the surface so you can't ignore it it. A lot of people ( men and woman) resent that and run away.
"industrial strength makeup" lmao
We're not talking about leopards. Human's are able to change themselves through mastery of their subconcious minds via meditation etc, to the point of being a completely different person. If you know how and wiling to do the hard work.
@@luker1hutcher315 so very few have the ability to do that, you are talking about the extreme exceptions. The safe bet is most won't change.