Marian, I could not thank you more or love you more for this vlog, my mom died on Christmas Eve and my dad died on Christmas Day, a year apart, I have no interest in Christmas, I have no interest in making it perfect for everybody, I do it with nothing in my heart, just this heavy heavy hole of missing my parents. It never gets better and now I am going to do just what you’ve said, being kind to myself. I have sent no cards, and the presents for everybody else can wait until I can be bothered to buy them.so this year I am taking care of just my little family of 4. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for this. I've always found Christmas hard since I was little... the day is too different and unstructured, and I always feel pressure to act like I'm enjoying myself. This year I'm going to take your advice and give myself a break :)
Your words really resonated with me.i find the whole thing brutally hard.the anxiety and fear are just awful.no one understands.which is why your kind message is so important to me.i hope that you have a peaceful Xmas.xx
"How we spend our days is how we spend our lives". That's something we should regularly remind ourselves about. Thanks, Marian! And I hope you enjoy YOUR Christmas day.
Gosh such a compassionate speech Marian..this should go viral!!! thank you..this is a great help..Christmas has lost the plot..it's a money racket...pressure mental...it's a crazy time and a struggle to remember what it's meant to be about...
Marian this video couldn't of come at a better time.Thank you! 💚 I have felt lonely this Christmas which is not something people assume when your 25 years of age. I'm very close to my family but since finishing college, I've realised that the people I thought were my friends are not. It's been a hard few weeks especially with social media influence seeing how 'happy' everyone is. Again thank you Marian for making me feel normal ❤️ x
Marian, you are an angel ❤ this is wonderful. I have four young children and do my best to make it special for them but i really find this time of year very difficult mentally. I have an empathic personality and find all the socialising far too much it absolutely drains me, i need to remind myself i am ok and i am getting there and it will be over this time next week ❤
This is the most perfect Christmas video I have ever watched! This should be broadcast to the nation every year, along with the commercials asking us to remember those less fortunate in society, you covered every difficult situation we encounter at this time of year, God Bless you and have a wonderful relaxing festive season 💖🤗 x
Marian I've loved you since I read Watermelon many many years ago, you are such a fabulous person both inside and out. Your videos make me laugh, cry, and want to be your best friend 😁 Have a wonderful Christmas...or not 😂 and keep on being you x
my husband hates Christmas, my kids are mostly disappointed, I'm responsible for the whole shebang, cleaning, food presents etc. I've already done a pre-Christmas dinner for 17 (which I actually loved!) weirdly before watching this I just thought f*** it! they can all take it or leave it, and I will please myself. You made me feel completely validated! thank you x
Thank you so much for saying this! I am finding this Christmas particularly hard to deal with and I also feel I can’t admit that to anyone around me, so this was nice to hear.
Thank-you Marian, thank-you. I have spent years reducing Christmas's emotional impact, its ability it hurt, and with a minimal, no Christmas dinner day, it passes in gentle peace.
Great advice. Christmas is only one day! Its always made out to be so important, but its not. Best to escape it, if you can. Take it easy and laugh about the things that go wrong. My mother used to wrap the turkey in grease proof paper. One year the paper caught fire! I opened the kitchen door and both of my parents were laughing hysterically and pointing at the turkey! It worked out fine in the end! The turkey was lovely, nice burnt smell, almost barbecued! 😂😂😂
Actually, years ago Christmas time was known as Saturnalia. The Sun is in Capricorn, so people just enjoyed cooking and resting. It was too dark to do anything outside, so eating and drinking was the order of the day. Nothing like it has become today. It is the time of year when the shops make their profit! Should be renamed "Shopmust time" 😃 Hope people aren't offended by my comment. Sorry, if you are. No worries. 😃
Thank you so much for this video. I’ve followed your advice and relieved myself of one particularly feared obligation. I hope this video goes viral, there are so many out there that need to hear this!
You have articulated so beautifully how many of us feel. Marian you are truly a very special lady, I have admired you for years and your words have made me feel that I am not alone in the way I'm feeling about the whole Christmas malarky. Thank You so much. xxxx
Thank you so much for taking the time to do this video, I feel like you gave me a hug and told me everything would be ok. I hate Christmas for multiple reasons, the pressure to be perfect is relentless and the build up so long. Not long now, it will soon be over. :) x
Well said. It’s desperate for many. People are often expected to reveal how wonderful the year has been. When they are too terrified of saying how awful parts of their past 12 months have really gone. My mother had seven kids trying to do it all on her own after my father left. That has stuck with me, her fear of failure, shame and the poverty. I am lucky now I have a great understanding partner. But I steer clear of the pressures of large gatherings. I cannot be around the large groups. Especially the alcohol flowing and watching the pressures coming from certain people. It can often feel almost a bullying atmosphere. But it took me a very a long anxious time to find the courage, to stand up and say sorry, I just can’t do it. Because it’s not fair on me or even them. I don’t get angry anymore. I just politely say sorry I am not up to it. My advice would be, if you do struggle learn earlier a little selfishness. And nowadays New Year’s Eve, I spend at home with a movie in bed with my partner. It’s for me far more agreeable and a must.
Marian Keys I love you and your wonderful books. Thank you for being brave enough to say what so many people are thinking they really wish they could do and for reaching out to so many. You truly are a gift.
You are an amazing woman - everyone should watch this .. it makes a person feel better in so many ways just by watching this . Love love love to you ❤️❤️❤️
You are my hugest inspiration, and this video felt like an actual hug... like somehow a warm slowing energy passed through me, I feel heard and understood. Thank you, yet again, for "getting it", and being our voice.
Marian you are so uplifting and spot on. Christmas is such a difficult time for me these days. You are an inspiration. You are more than a fabulous author. You are a support to me and I m sure many others. Thank you keep safe in these difficult time s.
♥️That was medicine for my soul just now. Thank you for your love and compassion. Just finished my multiple retread of This Charming Man at 3am this morning and marvelling at your tale laugh cry heart weaving gift. Wishing you a grand Christmas, we'll be grand!
It is my first Christmas since both my parents passed away. I am under a cloud of dread. I have opted out of everything except cooking Christmas inch. But I like cooking
I love Christmas now as I spend Christmas with my partner and dog. Before I found it difficult, going home at Christmas as I had no other option, drinking a lot (I don’t drink now). I realize that Christmas is not great for everyone and I wish you much love and peace now and for 2020 🥰 Thank you Marián, you are such a kind person
These are the truest words that I’ve ever heard spoken. Thank you. Self care is everything. I am not abnormal for not enjoying this. There is no perfect anything. I’m learning.
Thanks Marian, its just what I needed to hear. My beautiful mum passed away a few months ago and this is going to be a really difficult Christmas for me xx
Honestly Marian you are absolutely right ....You really are AWESOME.....It really is about nurturing and cutting ourselves some slack ....We really are our own worse critics ...Christmas has simply become a marketing opportunity...Wise up people ....Huge hugs Xxxxx
Thank you so much for that. I was feeling sorry for myself because I can't eat any of the chocolate and sweets we have gotten from our customers as gifts. If I start eating it I will never stop and then the guilt and worry starts. So the answer is good to yourself, that is a powerful message.
Thank you very much for your words. I feel understood. We do what we can and it’s ok. I hope your’re doing well these days. Be kind to yourself too. ‘Besos’ from Spain ❤️
you are so right Marian, I've felt that all my life, however it's a bit better now, but I like the new year best as it is a chance for hope. Family gatherings are not my thing especially as a child, I didn't like them then and I don't like them now, a lot of alcoholics in my family as a child your kind of looking around at these "adults" thinking why? what is the point, I had to try and find my own fun, I don't know it feels alien, as an adult I still feel kind of pressured into them but for my own sanity I don't attend. I don't think as an adult you should be doing things you don't like, I can be more productive anywhere else.
Amo os livros da Marian Keyes. Os que eu mais gosto são os da família Walsh, principalmente o Tem alguém aí?Li tem alguém ai, mais de 2 vezes. Achei envolvente, inteligente,divertido e agradabilíssimo. Obrigada Marian Keyes.
Christmas at work, our manager told us the week before Christmas come Christmas eve we could all go offline at 2pm, on the day itself the manager was on leave and the cover manager told us all at 11am ( despite her knowing we had already been told we could go at 2pm,) we couldn't go offline till normal hours finishing...... What a bitch I will never forget it 🙏
The Queens speech we all needed
I actually couldn't love you more, watching this should be mandatory for all. Thank you ❤️
Marian, I could not thank you more or love you more for this vlog, my mom died on Christmas Eve and my dad died on Christmas Day, a year apart, I have no interest in Christmas, I have no interest in making it perfect for everybody, I do it with nothing in my heart, just this heavy heavy hole of missing my parents. It never gets better and now I am going to do just what you’ve said, being kind to myself. I have sent no cards, and the presents for everybody else can wait until I can be bothered to buy them.so this year I am taking care of just my little family of 4. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
So sorry for your lossxxx
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for this. I've always found Christmas hard since I was little... the day is too different and unstructured, and I always feel pressure to act like I'm enjoying myself. This year I'm going to take your advice and give myself a break :)
Spent yesterday in floods of tears about Christmas, will be returning to this to help me cope, Thank you so much
Your words really resonated with me.i find the whole thing brutally hard.the anxiety and fear are just awful.no one understands.which is why your kind message is so important to me.i hope that you have a peaceful Xmas.xx
"How we spend our days is how we spend our lives".
That's something we should regularly remind ourselves about. Thanks, Marian!
And I hope you enjoy YOUR Christmas day.
Gosh such a compassionate speech Marian..this should go viral!!! thank you..this is a great help..Christmas has lost the plot..it's a money racket...pressure mental...it's a crazy time and a struggle to remember what it's meant to be about...
Marian, you're a treasure!
Love the honest chat, everyone should watch it!
Marian this video couldn't of come at a better time.Thank you! 💚 I have felt lonely this Christmas which is not something people assume when your 25 years of age. I'm very close to my family but since finishing college, I've realised that the people I thought were my friends are not. It's been a hard few weeks especially with social media influence seeing how 'happy' everyone is. Again thank you Marian for making me feel normal ❤️ x
Marian, you are an angel ❤ this is wonderful. I have four young children and do my best to make it special for them but i really find this time of year very difficult mentally. I have an empathic personality and find all the socialising far too much it absolutely drains me, i need to remind myself i am ok and i am getting there and it will be over this time next week ❤
This is the most perfect Christmas video I have ever watched! This should be broadcast to the nation every year, along with the commercials asking us to remember those less fortunate in society, you covered every difficult situation we encounter at this time of year, God Bless you and have a wonderful relaxing festive season 💖🤗 x
We are not alone. Thank you, Marian. I can't thank you enough. Brava! X
Words of wisdom much needed at this time of year. Don't get me started on New Year's Eve!
Wow best advice I've heard all year.. bloody love u more xx
Marian I've loved you since I read Watermelon many many years ago, you are such a fabulous person both inside and out.
Your videos make me laugh, cry, and want to be your best friend 😁
Have a wonderful Christmas...or not 😂 and keep on being you x
my husband hates Christmas, my kids are mostly disappointed, I'm responsible for the whole shebang, cleaning, food presents etc. I've already done a pre-Christmas dinner for 17 (which I actually loved!) weirdly before watching this I just thought f*** it! they can all take it or leave it, and I will please myself. You made me feel completely validated! thank you x
I love how real this advice is. No bullshit!
Thank You for the best Christmas gift!!
Thank you so much for saying this! I am finding this Christmas particularly hard to deal with and I also feel I can’t admit that to anyone around me, so this was nice to hear.
Thank-you Marian, thank-you. I have spent years reducing Christmas's emotional impact, its ability it hurt, and with a minimal, no Christmas dinner day, it passes in gentle peace.
Great advice. Christmas is only one day! Its always made out to be so important, but its not.
Best to escape it, if you can. Take it easy and laugh about the things that go wrong.
My mother used to wrap the turkey in grease proof paper. One year the paper caught fire!
I opened the kitchen door and both of my parents were laughing hysterically and pointing at the turkey!
It worked out fine in the end! The turkey was lovely, nice burnt smell, almost barbecued! 😂😂😂
Actually, years ago Christmas time was known as Saturnalia.
The Sun is in Capricorn, so people just enjoyed cooking and resting. It was too dark to do anything outside, so eating and drinking was the order of the day.
Nothing like it has become today.
It is the time of year when the shops make their profit!
Should be renamed "Shopmust time" 😃
Hope people aren't offended by my comment.
Sorry, if you are. No worries. 😃
This made me laugh out loud- thanks- your parents had a great attitude!!😂
The truth and wonderful to have put into words. By such smart lady. Hugs.
Love you Marian. Golden wisdom. Self care is essential & takes work. I know. Herr's to an abundance of it for all of us in 2020.X
Thank you Marian 'how we spend our days is how we spend our lives', that's beautiful xx
This was the gift I didnt know I needed but am massively grateful for
Thank you so much , I really needed this.x
I love Christmas, but there have been times when I haven't. Wish I'd had this to watch during those times! Good advice for life too from Marian.
Thank you so much for this video. I’ve followed your advice and relieved myself of one particularly feared obligation. I hope this video goes viral, there are so many out there that need to hear this!
You have articulated so beautifully how many of us feel. Marian you are truly a very special lady, I have admired you for years and your words have made me feel that I am not alone in the way I'm feeling about the whole Christmas malarky. Thank You so much. xxxx
Couldn’t have said truer words x
Thank you so much for taking the time to do this video, I feel like you gave me a hug and told me everything would be ok. I hate Christmas for multiple reasons, the pressure to be perfect is relentless and the build up so long. Not long now, it will soon be over. :) x
Thank you so much Marian for sharing your very wise insight on this subject.
Much love x
This is wonderful. Thank you Marian 😘
You are the best! I love everything you had to say - we all need to be kind to ourselves and each other ❤️
Everything you have said resonates with me. Thankyou Marian for those lovely words. 💕💕
Well said. It’s desperate for many. People are often expected to reveal how wonderful the year has been. When they are too terrified of saying how awful parts of their past 12 months have really gone. My mother had seven kids trying to do it all on her own after my father left. That has stuck with me, her fear of failure, shame and the poverty. I am lucky now I have a great understanding partner. But I steer clear of the pressures of large gatherings. I cannot be around the large groups. Especially the alcohol flowing and watching the pressures coming from certain people. It can often feel almost a bullying atmosphere. But it took me a very a long anxious time to find the courage, to stand up and say sorry, I just can’t do it. Because it’s not fair on me or even them. I don’t get angry anymore. I just politely say sorry I am not up to it. My advice would be, if you do struggle learn earlier a little selfishness. And nowadays New Year’s Eve, I spend at home with a movie in bed with my partner. It’s for me far more agreeable and a must.
So true, Christmas is sold to us as the "most wonderful time of the year" but creating it is far from enjoyment definitely more endurance
Marian Keys I love you and your wonderful books. Thank you for being brave enough to say what so many people are thinking they really wish they could do and for reaching out to so many. You truly are a gift.
Great advice, which applies all year round, not just at Christmas. "It takes courage to disappoint people" - excellent!
So much wisdom, thanks Marian ❤️
Exactly what I needed to hear today. GAD has me suffering and you have helped remind me to look out for myself ❤
Brilliant! Thank you so much. Love you to the moon and back ♥️
You are an amazing woman - everyone should watch this .. it makes a person feel better in so many ways just by watching this . Love love love to you ❤️❤️❤️
You are my hugest inspiration, and this video felt like an actual hug... like somehow a warm slowing energy passed through me, I feel heard and understood. Thank you, yet again, for "getting it", and being our voice.
Marian you are so uplifting and spot on.
Christmas is such a difficult time for me these days. You are an inspiration. You are more than a fabulous author. You are a support to me and I m sure many others.
Thank you keep safe in these difficult time s.
♥️That was medicine for my soul just now. Thank you for your love and compassion. Just finished my multiple retread of This Charming Man at 3am this morning and marvelling at your tale laugh cry heart weaving gift. Wishing you a grand Christmas, we'll be grand!
It is my first Christmas since both my parents passed away. I am under a cloud of dread. I have opted out of everything except cooking Christmas inch. But I like cooking
So glad you posted this for people who struggle during the festive season x
As usual, you’re just bloody amazing. Thank you, Marian. And remember to be kind to yourself too! ❤️
How true this all is
I love Christmas now as I spend Christmas with my partner and dog. Before I found it difficult, going home at Christmas as I had no other option, drinking a lot (I don’t drink now). I realize that Christmas is not great for everyone and I wish you much love and peace now and for 2020 🥰 Thank you Marián, you are such a kind person
These are the truest words that I’ve ever heard spoken. Thank you. Self care is everything. I am not abnormal for not enjoying this. There is no perfect anything. I’m learning.
Love this post ❤️ be kind to yourself!
Amazing advice, thankyou.
This is what I née all year round thankyou marion
Christmas used to be lovely but it’s manic and out of hand now, I think a lot of people feel dread now.
Now that's a Christmas message 👏👏👏
Thank goodness for this!!!
Thanks Marian, its just what I needed to hear. My beautiful mum passed away a few months ago and this is going to be a really difficult Christmas for me xx
Thank you Marian for putting it out there for us! Glad I watched this before Christmas! You are spot on! Cheers love!!! ❤
We are not alone,thanks!!!
Thank you for your wonderful words ❤️ I have listened and placed them in my heart.
Just seems a super caring person
Finally, someone is talking about it as it is. I have enough of that toxic positivity.
Fantastic chats
I need more Marian in my life.
God I wish Christmas was over! Yes and New Year’s Eve too! Thank you for this! 💕
Bless you and thank you
Love this Marian ♥️
Amazing words, so kind 💕
I'm sure the downvotes are no doubt someone hitting their phone incorrectly. Well done Marian, this helps a lot of people.
What a brilliant brilliant video.thank you
Thanks so much for this! I will save this video to watch every day until it’s over x
A must watch for this time of year!
Thank you for this much needed and appreciated x
Honestly Marian you are absolutely right ....You really are AWESOME.....It really is about nurturing and cutting ourselves some slack ....We really are our own worse critics ...Christmas has simply become a marketing opportunity...Wise up people ....Huge hugs Xxxxx
Thank you Marian!
Thank you so much for that. I was feeling sorry for myself because I can't eat any of the chocolate and sweets we have gotten from our customers as gifts. If I start eating it I will never stop and then the guilt and worry starts. So the answer is good to yourself, that is a powerful message.
A Beautiful Soul with some sound, loving advice. So calming and healing to listen to like you are a trusting friend with our best interests x
Thank You Marian, wise honest words for all to reflect on.
Thank you very much for your words. I feel understood. We do what we can and it’s ok. I hope your’re doing well these days. Be kind to yourself too. ‘Besos’ from Spain ❤️
Very well said, thank you Marian! 😘
Thank you 💞
Love this! xxx
Natal é época de demonstrar amor ao próximo, de celebramos o seu real significado.
♥️ thank you xxxxxx
I love your Kind and heartfull soul so much
Thank u 💜
Absolutely agree with you Marian .............. Brilliant .......
Just brilliant Marian, fabulous words of wisdom.
you are so right Marian, I've felt that all my life, however it's a bit better now, but I like the new year best as it is a chance for hope. Family gatherings are not my thing especially as a child, I didn't like them then and I don't like them now, a lot of alcoholics in my family as a child your kind of looking around at these "adults" thinking why? what is the point, I had to try and find my own fun, I don't know it feels alien, as an adult I still feel kind of pressured into them but for my own sanity I don't attend. I don't think as an adult you should be doing things you don't like, I can be more productive anywhere else.
Amo os livros da Marian Keyes. Os que eu mais gosto são os da família Walsh, principalmente o Tem alguém aí?Li tem alguém ai, mais de 2 vezes. Achei envolvente, inteligente,divertido e agradabilíssimo. Obrigada Marian Keyes.
I took your advice and It Was Good.
😀
Deeply appreciate this Marian xxxxx
What a brilliant video Marian and as you can see from the comments so many of us dont feel the way your are "supposed" to at Christmas - loved this x
Christmas at work, our manager told us the week before Christmas come Christmas eve we could all go offline at 2pm, on the day itself the manager was on leave and the cover manager told us all at 11am ( despite her knowing we had already been told we could go at 2pm,) we couldn't go offline till normal hours finishing...... What a bitch I will never forget it 🙏
Thank you and very well said Marian X
PPPRRREAACCH!! I can NOT wait for your view on New Years !!!!!