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Thank you! I enjoy hearing the difference in opinions, I think it helps show our community feels very differently on topics. and that is OK!

Although it is a very unexpected journey, I hope you are able to solve your puzzle! If I can do anything to help, feel free to reach out!

Hi Michelle, I found out at the age of 46. What a journey, so many emotions.

Hi John, seems like your friend may have a lot going on and much to think about. Personally, I was very curious when I was younger. If my donor father had contacted my parents, and I had their consent and supervision I would have loved to meet him them. But that is all up to the individual because everyone processes this experience differently.

@@ourstoriesbeingdonorconcei4534 You're right. I'm just concerned because although I was/ am an open donor, I don't think either myself or her mother can contact one another. Maybe it's against the rules. I don't know. Either way, it feels like a massive dilemma. I am afraid that if she seeks me at age 18 I will have to tell her that I had the opportunity to talk to her mother and possibly contact her and decided against it (to give them their space). I am afraid that she will be devastated by this and I do not want to hurt my her. Its the last thing I want. She has a father figure in her life currently and I don't want to be her dad, but I do wish to one day be a big part of her life. I accept that this may or may not be what she wants, and the uncertainty is eating. uhm well not me but my friend, alive. He just wants what is best for the little girl and what that is is incredibly confusing for him. Thanks for your support and for your own perspective.

Hi Laurie, sorry for the long bit of silence! How exciting for you and your partner, I hope I'm not too late in offering some advice. I would definitely recommend choosing a donor who is open to contact and willing to share their identity. This ensures that in the future your child will have the opportunity to connect with their donor if they choose to. I would also recommend getting an account on the donor sibling registry. This is an amazing resource to help connect your future child with any potential siblings. Stay open and willing to answer questions when your child has them. The best of luck to you and your partner, if you would like to speak more do not hesitate to reach out!

​@@ourstoriesbeingdonorconcei4534 Hi again Katie! No problem at all for the delay. This is very slow process for me over here so your advice is not too late :) I am on the same page for looking for a donor who is willing to share their identity and being open from the beginning. I see how important it is for everyone to have a sense of knowing who they are and where they came from. I'm doing my best to explore options I may have with known donors being a friend or someone I know, but its a pretty big ask... and lots to consider. A sperm bank seems 'easier" but honestly, the thought of having multiple siblings like this really make me uneasy. I wish they would limit the amount of families per donor to a smaller amount. There are a lot of donor conceived children finding out they have 50+ half siblings... and that seems like too much for one person to take on. Especially a young adult. I really don't want to put words in your mouth or assume how you may feel, so I apologize if I am saying anything inappropriate, or insensitive. This is a very new topic for me to discover and I'm trying to learn and listen as much as possible. Perhaps you could shed more light on how it feels to discover you have 20+ half donor siblings? Does it feel overwhelming? Or is it exciting? Does it change how you feel about your sense of family? Do you feel like this adds or takes away from your life? Do you have any certain feelings about the siblings you have less contact with? - I realize these are all very personal questions, and you definitely do not owe me the answers if it doesn't feel right for you! I am already very grateful for how much you have already shared and your advice given. Thanks again for sharing your story!

Donor conceived people’s stories are out there! You just have to do an advanced search for them because the clinics only push out the “good” stories. If you’re thinking about having a donor conceived child there are plenty of groups for prospective parents with donor conceived adults’ options!

That’s so good to know that you think about your donor children! FYI “offspring” is kind of a dirty word in the donor conceived community. They’re your donor children, just as you’re their donor father.

Hi Edward, reading this comment brought me to tears. It is incredible to know that there are donors out there who care about their donor children and want to foster those connections, it is so important!

@@ourstoriesbeingdonorconcei4534 Hi Katie Nine years of life for my eldest two, nine years to go until they decide whether they would like to meet. What’s exciting for me is the possibility of siblings meeting, especially the eldest boy who is an only child. I think of my babies often, and I hope they are being kind to their mothers!

You are an absent dad and you have 6 abandoned children.

@@weinishyusi Thank you for your perspective and taking the time to share it Only the donor children will be able to make that judgement