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GP Care Navigators are highly useful busy bodies with just one critical role - that of an Evil Gatekeeper. During recruitment, GP Human Resources mention that the only requirement for a Care Navigator role is that they naturally come with horns and a tail. This isn't discrimination, but an essential requirement for the role. A Pitchfork and Red tights are provided free of cost to each care navigator. Upon every month of service, the pitchfork gets longer and more sharper. Their work starts at 8:00AM in the morning, and it is quite a busy one. They poke, prod and push as many patients as possible into anguish and despair. Every request for access to a GP makes their tails curl up a little more and that hurts their buttholes. So they try to stop patients from accessing their GPs, especially the ones who have paid NICs and income tax all their life and have barely been ill or used the GP and NHS service because they are normally very healthy. Their Modus Operandi is to not listen to any clearly logical justifications made by their patient. If the previous answer clearly demonstrates justification that access to a GP is needed, they have been trained and advised by Lucifer to quickly ask a different question each one, more irritating, annoying, confusing and unnecessary than the last one. They know their work is successful when the patient hangs up the phone in despair or starts shouting at them, at which point, the patient has unwittingly made their job easier, as now the Devil's Alligators have got the Abuse Card to pull up and refuse to continuing talking further. At 5:00PM each day, a count is made of how many patients were denied opportunities to see their GP. The Lucifer's Alligator with the most count receives a jug of lava to pour into their throats and celebrate as they like nothing more than making their mouths as sharp, acidic and hurtful as possible for the next day's job.