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Tom Bruett, LMFT: Queer Relationship Institute
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Добавлен 7 май 2016
Learn actionable tips and tools you can use to improve your relationships today. Tom Bruett is an LMFT with a practice in California and Colorado. He loves helping gay couples improve their relationships with practical blue prints for success.
7 Stage of Gay Relationship Development (Hint, hint...this will help if you're feeling stuck!)
Gay relationships develop through a predictable series of 7 stages. When gay couples are feeling stuck, frustrated, confused, and/or hopeless, it can be helpful to know that there is a developmental reason for many of those feelings. To get a free e-book for gay relationships, check out this link: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/free-ebook
The 7 Stages include (1) The Second Queer Adolescence (2) The Honeymoon (3) Discovering Differences (4) Exploration (5) The Agreements (6) Reconnection (7) Mutual Interdependence.
These stages are based on the Developmental Model, which was created by Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. I've added two additional stages for queer relationships and this...
The 7 Stages include (1) The Second Queer Adolescence (2) The Honeymoon (3) Discovering Differences (4) Exploration (5) The Agreements (6) Reconnection (7) Mutual Interdependence.
These stages are based on the Developmental Model, which was created by Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. I've added two additional stages for queer relationships and this...
Просмотров: 3 732
Видео
Tom Bruett, LMFT- Relationship and Individual Therapy Colorado and California
Просмотров 482 месяца назад
Tom Bruett, LMFT provides relationship and individual therapy in Colorado and California. Some of his specialties include relationship therapy, working with men, and the queer community. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): uppbeat.io/t/avbe/night-in-kyoto License code: ATPUDCHESBEVGQUT
Benefits of Relationship Retreats vs Weekly Counseling Sessions
Просмотров 28Год назад
Are you ready to take your partnership to new heights? Discover the remarkable benefits of relationship retreats versus weekly counseling sessions. In this video, we explore the different therapy options available and why specialized training in working with relationships is crucial. Join me as I explain how long sessions provide the time and space to delve into deep-rooted patterns, leading to...
Creating a Queer Utopia: A Developmental Approach to LGBTQ+ Relationship Therapy
Просмотров 47Год назад
In this video, I'll be sharing my thoughts on the importance of focusing on strengths when working with marginalized groups like LGBTQ clients in relationship therapy. Join me as I discuss the concept of queerness as an ideality, and how the developmental model can be used to help clients notice their strengths and strive toward creating the future they crave. Don't miss out on learning more ab...
The Path to Self-Discovery, Healing, Better Relationships: 8 Topics Gay Men Can Explore in Therapy
Просмотров 72Год назад
Looking for ways to improve your life and relationships as a gay man? In this video, I share eight common topics that can be explored in therapy. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I help gay men nurture stronger relationships with themselves and their partners. We all know how difficult it is to be raised as a queer person in a heteronormative society, and the mental health statistic...
Revitalize Your Relationship: Experience the Power of Couples Therapy Intensives
Просмотров 106Год назад
Hi there! Are you and your partner struggling in your relationship? Are you looking for a way to accelerate your progress in couples therapy? Look no further than my couples therapy retreats! My name is Tom Bruett, and I'm a licensed Marriage and Family therapist. I specialize in helping gay couples improve their relationships because I believe strong relationships build strong communities. My ...
From Conflict to Connection: How Ouch and Oops Can Transform Your Relationship
Просмотров 91Год назад
Hey there, it's Tom Bruett, a marriage and family therapist based in California and Colorado, and in this video, I want to teach you about a simple exercise that can help you stop negative conflict patterns in your relationship. If you're stuck in a predictable cycle of arguments with your partner, this technique can be a game changer. In this video, I'll explain the science behind why we get t...
Love and Money: Navigating Income Disparity in Gay Relationships
Просмотров 326Год назад
Welcome to my channel! My name is Tom Bruett and I'm a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping gay couples improve their relationships. In today's video, we'll be discussing income disparity in gay relationships and how it can impact a partnership. To get a free e-book on gay relationships, click here: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/free-ebook Money can cause stres...
Spring Clean Your Relationship: A Guide to Radical Transparency
Просмотров 65Год назад
Spring is here and it's time to do spring cleaning in your relationship! In this video, I will share some tips on how to evaluate the state of your relationship and use radical transparency to tidy things up. First, get real with yourself about what's not working in your relationship and what you want more or less of. Then, practice radical transparency by being honest, open, and authentic with...
How internalized homophobia can impact your relationship
Просмотров 2,6 тыс.Год назад
Learn how internalized homophobia refers to negative attitudes, beliefs, and feelings towards one's own sexuality, often internalized from society, family, or religion, leading to shame, self-hatred, and fear of rejection. To get a free e-book on improving your gay relationships, click here: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/free-ebook It can impact relationships through self-sabotage, insecur...
Instant way to stop a fight- hacking your brain to get better at conflict
Просмотров 28Год назад
If you'd like an instant way to stop a fight, look no further. With a little help from neuroscience, you can stop conflict in its tracks. For the full article, check out: tombruetttherapy.com/instant-way-to-stop-a-fight/ Transcript: Ever wonder if you could hack your brain so that you and your partner can become better at conflict? Good news! You can. And I’m going to teach you how today. My na...
How to Navigate Age Differences in Gay Relationships
Просмотров 274Год назад
How to Navigate Age Differences in Gay Relationships
How to overcome power struggles in your relationship as a gay couple
Просмотров 90Год назад
How to overcome power struggles in your relationship as a gay couple
How to keep your relationship strong during times of hardship
Просмотров 45Год назад
How to keep your relationship strong during times of hardship
Stop Avoiding Conflict in your Relationship Today as a Gay Couple
Просмотров 78Год назад
Stop Avoiding Conflict in your Relationship Today as a Gay Couple
How to Rebuild Trust After Infidelity (A 3 Step Process)
Просмотров 1173 года назад
How to Rebuild Trust After Infidelity (A 3 Step Process)
Open relationships can work, it's all about how you talk about them
Просмотров 493 года назад
Open relationships can work, it's all about how you talk about them
How to improve communication problems in your relationship
Просмотров 585 лет назад
How to improve communication problems in your relationship
How to be more vulnerable as a gay man
Просмотров 1345 лет назад
How to be more vulnerable as a gay man
Healing from spiritual abuse as an LGBTQ+ person
Просмотров 1285 лет назад
Healing from spiritual abuse as an LGBTQ person
How to heal betrayal and rebuild trust in your relationship
Просмотров 1835 лет назад
How to heal betrayal and rebuild trust in your relationship
How to have a healing conversation with your partner after a fight
Просмотров 9 тыс.5 лет назад
How to have a healing conversation with your partner after a fight
How to improve your self-esteem as a gay man
Просмотров 3,3 тыс.5 лет назад
How to improve your self-esteem as a gay man
What to expect from your first couples therapy session with Tom Bruett
Просмотров 6915 лет назад
What to expect from your first couples therapy session with Tom Bruett
How did you acquire your license in California? Graduate student here living in Colorado attending a school in Colorado. Was it difficult? What was the process?
Many gay men never form even one relationship. Many reasons, but the #1 reason by my decades of observation, is poor looks. Seriously. They cannot get anyone's attention. Sorry, but they are high in number, and this video... is irrelevant to them.
Where is the cheating stage? Because if it's a gay relationship then that definitely is a stage. And don't give me the standard...Not everyone cheats. If 80%+ are having sex outside of the relationship, then everyone is doing it. The stages are based on norms, as in most do this, therefore it's a stage.
Betrayal would be part of either the Second Queer Adolescence Stage or the Discovering Differences Stage because those stages would make it harder to know yourself and take the risk of being your full self and that’s when you’ll have betrayal more often.
I had to watch it a second time cuz I’m deaf. 🫦
This is interesting, I’m looking forward to hearing more details on the stages (especially because I couldn’t locate the stage my relationship is in…. need more learnin’ 🤣)
@@martywolf2011 let me know if one resonates when you do
How are you doing @@queerrelationshipinstitute
Thank you
No i just was hunting for 14 hrs straight im fucking tired
true
I probably should stop
Your not my dad, I don't have to listen to you
You’re right there. You get to make your own life choices!
thank you! I enjoyed every second of it. I would like to hear about the importance of same interests within a queer relationship
nice vid - but you didn’t explain why the second one was added for gay people
Thanks for watching! I’m going to do a more in depth video about each stage where I’ll talk more about why I added the two stages.
Thank you for making this content with this title so I could find it ❤
Thanks for making this video 😊
THANKS!!❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
every person whether gay or staight has hes internal private world, not everything need to be shared with anyone, and that applies for romantic partner aswell.
true. As long as you aren't cheating or doing anything else immoral, not everything about yourself needs to be known
So glad i find this video. I'm dealing with this right now and I'm not sure if i should stay waiting IF my gf will make more money or leave.
Why the most gays hate Themself and they like this shit heteronormativity shit.?
I can’t stand with the alphabet movement simply because they are all about debauchery victimization lack of accountability and have exposed all this to children and in truth I reject their gender ideology and see transgenderism as a mental illness. You can be gay or trans do as you please, this is a free country at least that’s the way our founding fathers made it but just leave the children alone.
EMBRACE INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA
That's actually a really interresting topic! Glad you brought it up
The first statement was pointless but thanks for throwing that out there. As for the money, power is for those who lower themselves to pick it up. Good luck man 😂
how is this unique to gay people
I hope it applies more broadly and glad to hear you think that.
I love guys that open up, it's so refreshing and healthy. Some just need a lot more time and trust and they will open up in their own time and we as females need to be aware of that and be patient and not so dismissive. Also when we keep moving the boundaries/goal posts the lines become blurred and men lose their identities. So many different factors on this topic. Too many games going on too. I really feel for guys who can't be themselves. Real men do cry and experience all the emotions that a female does only for some maybe not on the same scale.
Great advice. Really appreciate it.
and acquaintances that i lost i feel happy but sad all together. I always knew I was different from the other boys on the playground but I never thought homosexuality was a bad thing -- my father always told me that being different was being different and nothing more than that. In elementary school, I would go around and tell boys and girls that I had crushes on them and nobody thought anything of the antics, I felt reassured that being different was acceptable. In Junior High school however, everything seemed to change. All of a sudden the boys were expected to wear a certain style of clothes, act a certain way, and treat girls in a particular manner. I remember being extremely confused but also confident in my differences from these boys but as the years progressed, it became more and more difficult. Being a boy scout and hearing horror stories of homosexuals being "outed" and expelled from the organization instilled a sense of fear and confidentiality with my blooming sexual urges; I began to conform to the gender stereotypes of hyper-masculinity. I remember I started to skateboard and play basketball like a "typical pre-teenager." I started to dress differently. I changed my hairstyle. I started talking more like a "guy." I felt fake, lonely, and misunderstood. Problems with my family and my feeling of rejection led me in to a spiraling vertigo of depression, which eventually led to a few attempted suicides. If it wasn't for two very close friends of mine (who I still talk to on a regular basis), I would not have made it past the age of thirteen. It wasn't until my Junior year of high school that something clicked in my mind. While walking along ocean beach in San Francisco, one of my best girl friends at the time asked me if I was gay or if I ever had sexual feelings for guys. At first I denied the claim. When I got home from the city that evening, I called her and told her everything--I told her about my depression, my secret crushes, my sexual frustrations and feelings of rejection. With her help, I was finally able to muster up the courage to "come out" to the rest of my friends and eventually my family. I remember the day clearly: November 3, 2006. I was sitting in my photography class with my best friend at the time and as my teacher was droning on about aperture widths and shutter speeds, I pulled my friend aside and whispered, "I need to talk to you after class about something really important. Is that cool?" He shrugged and continued to take notes. After class I looked him straight in the eye and told him that I was gay -- that was the last time I ever talked to him; he looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. I was devastated. I come from a conservative suburb in the bay area and so this didn't come to me as much of a shock. When a lot of my close friends reacted in a similar manner, I felt isolated and depressed. After a period of frustration, I decided that I needed to broaden my horizons and put myself out there; I began to socialize outside of my network and eventually, I built solid friendships with a variety of people who would be integral in developing my self-identity as a strong, queer individual. As this social transformation was ongoing, my family was on the back-burner for myself. One day, my dad walked in to my room and hugged me and said that he would always support me, no matter who I was or what I did with my life. I burst out in tears and told him everything. After many hours of tears and anguish, I felt completely drained. With the support of my family firmly behind me, I felt invincible and rejuvenated. Head held high, I finished up the rest of high school with a renewed sense of optimism and a strong, fiery passion to succeed. Although the beginning phases of coming out were painful and disheartening, the end result was phenomenal. Not only have I become more confident in myself, but I have also been able to help others through the process. Coming out fostered my personality, my relationships with people, and my growth as an individual.
Best way to raise your self esteem... stop relying on affirmations from other gay men regarding your attractiveness. Gay men are the most superficial of all groups.
Awesome:)
Thank you so much! It really helps to hear those ideas said out loud. It fees empowering to know that I am not alone in my journey of making peace with organized religion.
Thank you ton :)
Ty.
Yes, betrayal is intensely painful. Thanks for shedding light on such a sensitive topic
Nice teaching sir
Are you lecture ? very good communication sir 👍
Great practical advice. Another tool is doing something you enjoy; that is good for you :-) like a hobby that we can explore and become better at. Self care is very helpful too - doing things that is good for our body, mind and spirit. Hanging out with others who are trying to expand their awareness and self love is pretty powerful too, and Yes eating healthy, doing some form of exercise and mother nature, certainly helps in the holistic approach which includes forgiveness towards ourselves and others who might have lashed out at us, because they are hurting inside.
Thanks for sharing that suggestion, Brejo! Finding something you enjoy is a great way to connect with yourself and others.
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