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The forgetfulness thing is kinda tricky, because it can just be CPTSD or ADHD, even if you know you definitely have alters. I think amnesia in DID is not necessarily a switch. Your brain can and likely does have a whole range of different levels of dissociation.

I think there is so much variety in DID, that it can be a spectrum of various forms of more P-DID experiences, more (subjectively) dissociative amnesia experiences (no communication or awareness), more ISDD 1b experiences, or more ISDD 1b experiences (at least from the perspective of a host or specific alters), while still qualifying as DID proper.

Wishing y'all the best💙

Hello glad you are good and thanks for sharing Shell. With regards to littles fronting we'll often have them chaperoned by an adult or protector who won't interfere unless needed. They have a few friends inside they trust and it seems to work quite well. I as host understand the feelings of embarrassment over littles fronting 😅 being a 40+ Yr old dude coming round playing lego n colouring books can be a bit whaaaat? Lol. Hope this helps - John, host of the Chaotics

Often times- what can make allowing littles and really any alter/headmate who may have less abilities or cognitive abilities, is vulnerability and an inability to sit or cope well with that. There can be a lot of fear that's based around the what ifs- as well as if you may struggle with control issues and abilities to let go of front (as I believe was mentioned here?) If you're able to and haven't already, finding or setting a stable and reliable form of communication with the littles would be best. This doesn't have to be internal, but maybe something like journalling externally and making a habit of check-ins both just from the littles or anyone can also help if you struggle with blackouts. Though the actual starting I think can be hardest. I think you may struggle with this for some time or won't see results for a bit, but finding a relatively safe place that you're alright with should be a priority. I should've mentioned that first probably. If you have gatekeepers or someone with abilities of controlling front in some way, you can maybe also get them in the loop of communicating with the littles too so they can help facilitate this. Letting both others AND yourself know that you're safe I think can do wonders. Again, this is i think a lengthy process, and it means establishing and learning to establish a sense of trust both in YOURSELF and other alters, which can be tricky. Especially when it's trusting other alters that aren't yourself in front. Setting and having failsafes can help somewhat with this, but also just working on understanding your other alters/headmates (apologies, please let me know if there is a specific preferred term. We're 21, so tend to be in areas that have multiples terms that can feel more humanising to some and thus may have different ideas or terms used here that you may or may not be very familiar with?) can also do a lot in being able to trust them with fronting and being able to contact others if something goes awry. Understanding particular things like likes and dislikes: These can be also used to establish fronting triggers, though using negative fronting triggers I wouldn't recommend so as much as just something to be aware of. Things like music and I believe others like taste can be strong triggers not just system wise, but at all. You can start off small, perhaps? Mentally see if any little would like to COFRONT with someone else, if you're able or someone else is able to do that (reference back to my gatekeeper comment). There are quite a few apps dedicated to things for children only, and if you have an android, there's also I believe a child mode or "kid zone" and that particular headmate can only access approved apps and such. Fronting triggers and using things like music or such also can work with when you need someone mentally older or capable to do adult related things. This can be a bit of a struggle for example when you don't have much space to discover or explore your identity though, as these fronting triggers would heavily rely on things at least somewhat of an interest or like to someone, though there are also neutral ones that can work too. I don't know if you all live alone or have friends, but you could also see if someone would offer or be able to do things like using your names when a little asks or is done with fronting and needs an adult or mature adult, though this does require a lot of trust. I do find however that sometimes someone else verbally calling names can help a bit getting someone to front when help is needed, though you can also try working on just talking aloud if internally reaching others during these times are harder for either you, or littles who may be in need of adults. We'd recommend an app called "Simply Plural" for things like keeping track of switches, being able to write notes, organise things in groups and quite a bit more. (Though only really works if digitally journalling isn't an issue). There's even a message board for each profile (in this case, alter, though there's a separate category for custom statuses. Say if you want to make one for just being blurry or blended where it isn't necessarily an alter on its own. Or note if you're only co-con, etc.), and only once that person is registered as fronting can the messages be deleted. The person will also be notified that they have a message once they're registered as being in front. Once you're able to set up communication between one another, maybe being able to set up rules for the littles or when it is time to leave and if they do not want to, maybe making it a sort of game can help somewhat. We tend to talk to our littles first with the presumption that they will understand, though we don't use the term much since age in our system doesn't equal to what they can or cannot understand, but asking them how they'd like to be treated and generally reminding them if bodily autonomy and explaining why most importantly say for if they have to leave front and are upset but do not know why, can help sometimes. Apologies for this being quite long. This is only really skimming the surface for what exactly you can do, but we do have quite a bit more specific ideas in mind if that's needed as well!

Thank you for sharing with us!

Morning Shell and the others Hope you're well ! Your videos help us well ! I apologize for my english.

Hello, hope youre well!

Our system is very distinct in the inner world/inside our mind. but when we speak or do anything physically, its all "lost in translation". we all act very similarly. its not really even intentionally masking or anything, even alters who desire to act more distinctly *can't* while fronting, for some reason.it makes us really question ourselves when we're having all these internal experiences that are so distinct, so vivid, but then externally theres literally no proof. its jarring, and makes us really doubt our validity. thank you for talking about that.

"Catching your parts on camera"💯 I absolutely know what you mean!!! What is the best way to get a hold of you? I have two alters that really want to talk with you! Thank you for your channel and content and vulnerability! God bless! 🙏😊💖

Thank you for ansering my previous question. Please, I have another queation. I have a part that I don't know. But she pops out now and then (+- 5/6 times now) when there is high stress (fear, shame). She is problaby a little child says my therapist who met this part a view times now (I have no memories of it: amnesia. I have a hard time beleving my therapist and husband, the have seen here. Can the childpart build a connection/ bond whit someone (therapist) by recocnizing my therapist becouse they met earlier/ more times..(can she remember the earlier meating) with my therapist after they met each other a view times?. Or is my therapist always/ repeatly a stranger and will she still be afraid ? I have no memories, and I will be more comfort when I know they know each other. And: Can she reveal thinks other parts don't want to reveal? And when she can....whats the risk?? I am afraid she does that and I get war. Sorry for my writing, I am Dutch...

What if de.alter.is so young it can't write or draw?

This video has been so helpful. You have put into words so many of my own experiences and reasons for denial, and have even prompted me to remember certain events that are even more evidence towards this diagnosis. I am not formally diagnosed yet, but I just started with a new therapist who is experienced with dissociation and DID. I am looking forward to learning more about myself and hopefully more about my alters, which are definitely there whether it feels weird to admit or not haha. Thank you for posting this <3

DID = demon ! wake up people. read bible pray hard bow down to God and ask holy sprit(Jesus) a guidance to set you free from those alters(Demon)

Thank you for explaining this subject so clearly and articulate. It's refreshing .❤

I just wanted to say that you're extremely valid and this video was probably one of the best videos and most thorough videos I have seen in the past seven years and I've seen an abundance of DID videos So whenever you're feeling unsure of yourself I would suggest just re-watching this video because this is going to help so many people and can re-help you so many more times when you need it

I know this is off subject but I absolutely love your t-shirt!! 😍

A large part of the trauma we experienced comes from not being believed in medical settings so getting help has been incredibly difficult and opening up about it to our therapist is one of the most triggering a difficult feats for us yet, im so glad you have supportive professionals helping you through the denial that often comes with a DID diagnosis ❤

Thanx for this great video

We have a little who grew up Catholic, and I (the host) identify as pagan and feel very triggered by christianity. Do you have any tips on how I can continue to allow the little to practice her faith without it triggering me and sucking her back inside?

Me I love Jesus, relationship not religion, knowing him, I know the Lord, I stay FAR away from evil stuff, for my own welfare. I believe in God. He is the creator of all things. Jesus is the truth, every other god is false and is a demon, not good at all. I need Jesus to protect me from the evil spirits, demons, satan. The Bible, God, the Holy Spirit of God and Jesus Christ is greater than all things, so he keeps me safe from false ways. People are people, and our minds can be fractured through trauma, so alters who identify as demons isn't the same -persay- as someone being possessed by a demon because it's a person's idea of things and own ideas and understandings as they develop in life and surroundings. That being said, my family did very very bad things on purpose for satan, which is very bad- don't do that. Because satan doesn't care about people, he just lies and uses people as pawns, mostly because he hates God, because he wants to be like God himself, which he got cast out of heaven for that, he was a very beautiful angel, but now he is more disgusting and terrible than you can ever imagine, who tricks people to go his way away from God our Father who is good, there is no shifting of shadow in God, but satan is a liar, the father of lies, that's his native language, that's all he can do. God didn't make him, he made himself, God made him first, but he decided to be like God and be worshipped, rather than worship God. Mind you, he is a heavenly being, not a human. God is wonderful, strong, smart, wise, kind, he never lies EVER! He is faithful too, he doesn't use people for gain, he's the opposite of that, he wants to lift others up and bless them, even though I don't deserve anything good, because he is the only one/thing good and nothing is good without him in it. He loves me, he NEVER leaves me, he never tricks me, he never ever does bad to me, satan and demons who decided to follow satan and worship him, also got cast out of heaven, and their whole goal is to hurt God, but they can't because God is God! And satan and demons are not! So the only way they can get at God is to hurt his creation, people. God loves people sooo much, because he created them, us 😊. So the enemy of our souls- satan, and his followers-demons, hurt God by hurting us, so that we curse God, which breaks God's heart 💔 but Jesus is the truth, he showed us how much he loves us, by coming down to earth, you know the story.. he gave himself as a sacrifice to make a way for me to be made right before God, and to make it so I can talk to him, without a priest mediator, when he died on the cross, the veil was torn- that veil was in place as an actual physical curtain keeping the place where God was, closed off from the people, that's where the priest would go to offer sacrifices, pure undefiled animals, as sin offerings to God. There were two curtains the priest had to go through, and they tied a rope around his waist, in case he didn't follow the rules completely, or it wasn't acceptable to God, then the priest would get struck dead, and they'd have to pull him out by the rope. So basically God gave the people, through Moses, all the rules they had to perform in order to be clean and made clean ect. God didn't punish them willy nilly, God wasn't being cruel, he gave them a way to be forgiven from their sins/aka when they messed up and did wrong. God knew what was to become of the world and the times, and since he loved us soo much, he made another- better way, he offered himself up, he came down as a baby, Jesus, fully God fully man. Can you imagine? He knows full well what it's like to be human, temptation, pain, torture, loving and not being received, being misunderstood, not being heard. But he was fully God too! So he was able to never give into temptation, he was never tricked, or enticed, he never sinned, he never messed up! 😁 It's incredible because Jesus showed the world what God is like, and he said it too, he explained it, and it was important, so it was written down by multiple people who saw it and heard what he said. So we can know it. Jesus showed us what God is like, gentle, wise, hates evil, true, righteous, kind, compassionate, caring. Before Jesus came, people were following the rules that God gave Moses, for many years, and had become rule followers rather than knowing the God they are trying to appease. So they kinda didn't have God's heart for others around them, and when Jesus went to the disabled people around town, he did so with compassion and love. He healed them, and set them free, while they were labeled pariahs by society at large, Jesus came straight over to them to help those who couldn't help themselves. The bible says what I just said here, but it took me a long time to see it the way it is, because of all the torture I'd been through that made me terrified of God. But it was a lie, and Jesus proves to me that God is good. Plus real experiences with him coming through for me against the evil powers that had me for so long. God says to me "you are mine" and satan used to use my mouth to say "she's mine". And truly God put his love in me so I didn't give up on seeking him, all the while he was saving me out of the deep dark layers of evil that others put upon me when I was only a baby and the evil stuff I put on myself not knowing it was bad. Hallelujah 🎉 This is why I choose Jesus. I also have DID, and Jesus showed me how he loves all of me, and he gave all of my parts red shoes, which is symbolic, shoes represent fathership, in Jewish understanding- which I learn at some point, and red represents Jesus's blood, which washes us clean from sin and covers us from the power of sin which is the spiritual consequences of it. I'm glad you posted this video, I wanted to help others by sharing what happened to me and why I choose God and no other. Especially for people who have been traumatized abused, tortured and who have DID, because evil had to happen to make a child get so broken, like me, I'm still broken, I still can't function, there's things I wish I could do but I can't, maybe yet I can someday when I get better from what broke me into peices. Sorry, this is really long.❤️‍🩹 But there is hope for me, if your still breathing there's a reason. God doesn't make mistakes

as a white-passing mixed race system, it can hurt because (even as someone in your near-position), i still get talked down to. im not tanned enough to be able to even start saying my own nuanced take because white people arent allowed to talk, and your whiteness is all up to others' judgement and not your own lived experience. which is cool lol

12:00 in: consider the fact that singlets don't even have these moments to think "who am I??" in the same sense that systems are perpetually questioning. and then, further, they DON'T get confused if they *do* ask themselves that question. that's something that always soothed our denial lol

old video, but Shell's struggle with friendships and triggering abandonment, our host is going through a similar struggle. the trigger feeling a little overblown but still hurting, feeling like you put in more than you get even when you know your friends aren't going out of their way to neglect you, it sucks so bad. especially when you're someone like me& (and probably you guys too) where you can only manage to make very few but very close bonds. when those few bonds fall through on our emotional needs, it can feel so catastrophic... then just add on the further tangent about feeling like we present our health conditions too well to get the help we desperately need!! wow, so relatable!!

Thank you, this was surprisingly eye-opening and relatable. When I was younger I always used to think that I absolutely for sure had no ED whatsoever since I was “just forgetting” to eat, or that I “just didn’t prioritize eating” as a physical requirement. And yet, like you said, I can see now that being thin was my identity for most of my life. While I’m not a DID system I have been working with parts work (IFS) therapy and it has helped me to realize that many parts of my psyche hold self-hatred, body-dysmorphia, and disordered eating as defensive structures. I intellectually understand that parts work therapy includes the idea that they would need need appreciation, validation, and compassion before they could be guided to more constructive and healthy tasks, but yeah, they can’t be guided by my intellectualization of course. After having started working with IFS I think that human brains operate on so many layers, especially with DID, but also apparently to a lesser extent with everyone, and for me personally it’s been an important tool to realize how that applies to me. I wonder if you’ve ever ran into parts work therapy on your journey and how you feel about it?

I wonder how long it will take still for Christian families/churches to see how harmful their judgement and condemnation is. How warped Christ's teachings had become, very early on in our modern history. It was perverted into a patriarchal power-over-others corporation, no matter how many sects of this religion there is, they all have been brainwashed into abusing each other.

Thank you for sharing this topic! The way in and out of religion began my journey to discover my dissociative disorder. Whether it is DID or OSDD for me, since I am working on my internal system and communication, I did well better in life because the more I learned, the more I understood. I am happy to see this topic is covered on your channel! Have a great day!

Great video! Thank you. It was really interesting to hear how your systems differ and what your experiences of each of your systems has been like. How Shell described your amnesia is how we also experience it. You described it so well. Thanks again for a great video!

your videos are always so insightful and comfy to watch :)) this is something I've been curious about for a while now its nice to have another perspective on it though its a shame of the lack of research. im curious about the discussion with your mum about it and what you were thinking at the time of discovery the system and i think it's really important to understand the differences between psychological symptoms and spirituality, not just in a DID situation, but generally also :)

Love this topic, kudos

Thank you so much for this video! I recently figured out I’m invisibly self harming/ developing an ED and I related to this so much 🫶🏾 Also something about the story with McDonalds helped me realize how my alters fronted without any of us being aware. River 🌊

We've been thinking about/working through our spiritual beliefs as individuals and as a collective, so this video is excellent timing 🥰 And it's great to hear about your experiences with religion & spirituality! Hope you all are well 🤟💜

was just thinking that i hadnt checked in on your channel in a while! glad to see youre still uploading, you havent been coming up on my feed for a bit. good to see you posting ❤️

I've noticed meditation quiets everyone down instead of speaking up, and THC tends to make their voices come in more clearly but overall I'm still struggling to hear everyone clearly enough to understand what theyre trying to say. The clearest communication I get is through the dream-state in the inner world through experiences that other parts want to share or switching while co-con while asleep or hypogogic "hallucinations" (falling alseep/waking up)

it's funny that this "professional" has the view that someone needs to be ashamed of their disorder for it to be existent. it's not Ashamed Identity Disorder. Our relationship with the identity disturbances is not the diagnostic criteria, it's the unawareness of it that had to have existed at some point xD

im just shocked that one of these examples was the Gianu system. Out of all the systems I watched on youtube, Gianu was the most... (well-meaning, here) tragic and medicalized feeling of them all. but their tragedy was so beautiful, it's why we ever watched to begin with. They, of all the systems, felt so upfront with what they felt comfortable enough to share and were so grounded and genuine!! They, as far as I knew, even explicitly shared who diagnosed them and what organization they belonged to lol that's the first thing that tells me this dude's opinions are way out of line and nonsensical, despite his "factual knowledge of the disorder." He cant even keep his own criteria straight for who he respects as a system!

This is basically my constant. Ive been learning to trust alters more with their decisions which has made everyone else feel a lot better. But im rarely not in front which is kindof annoying since i want to give everyone their own time without me watching over and being anxious about what they do with "my" body

Thank you so much for this video. I am living a very complicated situation with my wife, who we (me and friends who actually have DID) think has DID or OSDD, and all the details you are explaining (like memory gaps that are not obvious, or alters that are not obvious) make sense. It helps me think that something makes sense... and I desperately need that. Thank you, really.

Real

DID...multiple identities

Damn girl! You have a thoughtful and well presented channel...subscribed

Your experience explains a lot better how genetic inheritance is a base to develop a dissociative disorder. Nice to meet both of the systems, by the way❤

I hate how much I relate to this… but I’m also really thankful to stumble across your video. Denial is really difficult to grapple with.

Thank you so much for posting this. I am newer to the diagnosis and still trying to wrap my head around what my new normal will look like. This was so very validating and so needed.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, we really appreciated hearing them. I really relate to the cooking thing, before we realised we were a system it would frustrate me to the point of claustrophobia and tears, I couldn't understand why sometimes I could do things like cook, or make art or research and other times it was like I just had no knowledge or skills that I knew I had, or sometimes I'd know these things had been done but I had no memory of having done them and they were done really differently to how I know I would do them. I felt so confused and kind of suspicious for a long time, like I'd wonder if people around us were just lying and saying I'd done things when I hadn't. Denial is so strange because we are an overt system, always have been, but that's actually something that can trigger denial for some parts of me, because I'll end up thinking things like "well this isn't the stereotypical presentation and why would our presentation be so overt when generally its a covert thing?" We think the stigma in society massively contribute to the denial and shame we feel, especially because the nuanced complexity of different systems and their presentation isn't always easy to find being discussed by a lot of people and a lot of what we've found being discussed by some seems to be very black and white and doesn't include a lot of what's possible to achieve with massive work in therapy and building internal connection and communication. Sometimes the amount of healing we've had and can see in the progress of our symptom management and communication as a system is something that can trigger denial for some of us- because even though we know we've been working really, really hard to achieve that for years in therapy and with every day practice- it isn't how you see being a system described a lot, and also I think a lot of us have amnesia for the amounts of work we've done so its really easy to see the growth we've had as a system, but forget all the work that's lead to that growth- and then to just get a lot of thoughts like "this isn't how it presents". We feel really passionate about sharing our experiences as we learn different coping mechanisms and build connection with ourselves and each other, because for us its been really hard to see those possibilities talked about for systems and to believe its achievable at all, and to not think it means there's "something wrong" with us whenever we do achieve any form of healing. Watching other systems videos can sometimes trigger denial and comparison based thoughts for us so it can be really hard even though its something we really want to do. So we really appreciate your video because it was so relevant and reassuring to us it made the denial easier to deal with while we watched.

Wake up ! DID is a demon ! can u you try this -> go down on you knees and pray , ask holy sprit, God(Jesus) to set you free and be oneself only in your own system. bowing down to God everyday, read bible then u will see light!

The rolling eyes thing really got me because my alters do the same thing.

As an OSDD system, we feel this so much.

thanks a lot for this video! i am the host of a system and god i can relate.... i can relate with pretty much everything you shared and it feels so good to know another recently diagnosed system and how they are coping with. i hope we manage this denial. thanks for being so brave to share your insecurity. i wish you guys the best ❤

Listening, I relate. I started learning DBT seven years ago. I love using DBT skills. Helps me so much with accepting pieces of memories and sensations that come with parts and states and attitudes. We are truly wonderfully made. One thing we all have in common is not knowing what we don't know. We all do well with developing humility versus engaging in humiliation. Thank you for sharing your work. By the way, I'm 73.