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It's even worse when your mother is a narcissist.

I’d love to share my story. ❤ I just got diagnosed about 6 months ago at 41

This is exactly what's happened to me

Job interviews tend to also be unfriendly to autistic people. They ask questions we don't know the real meanings of, so we answer them incorrectly, and we don't get the job, even if we're a perfect fit for it. I discovered that from an article thanks to Google at age 57. It listed the questions ND people get wrong, and the right answers to them. I felt so betrayed that no one had ever stopped me and said, "No, I mean..." so I could tell them what they wanted to know. Consequently, I only got low pay high stress jobs that fit the descriptions you listed in this podcast. Terrible environments. When I told my mom about those questions, and that 85% of autistic people were unemployed or under employed (I was always one or the other) she said, "Well you could be one of the 15%." I said, "I'm 59. If I was able to be in the 15%, I would be. I'm one of the 85% for the same reasons as the others in the 85%." 🙄 Seriously. SMH It would be brilliant if there were programs that would help us get the jobs we have high talents for! So many people have high expectations of us, but won't do anything to help us reach our potential. Then they act like it's our fault that we have a hard time getting jobs, holding jobs, keeping a roof over our heads... Mom now understands that even though I'd be good at lots of lucrative jobs, I would need help getting into the door to do them. Fortunately, the Social security lady says they will no longer try to push me back into the job market because of my age. I THANK GOD for that EVERY day!!!!! 🙏🏻 It was SO hard.

I am hot almost all the time. I think about moving North all the time. But also have in the last 8 years developed Raynaud's Syndrome.

There are apps you can get for your phone to remind you to drink more ive got one that puts notifications on my phone as a reminder but now ive got to used to just swiping it away

Where can I find these blogs, articles, studies and research papers? Many thanks:)

I have been driving for 40 years this year and I still tell people I shouldn't be driving.

I remember when i thought people whi were close to me starting saying 'i have a mask on' and i thought they meant that they meant im two faced. And then someone people close to me started saying I'm fake and then again, i had a problem with them saying im fake... and then people started saying others things... and all i couldnt understand why are peoole so stupid. Very few did i come accross people that said 'i understand' and not disapproved or argue with me over nonsense.

Could you guys please include links to the articles in the video description moving forward?

INFJ and autism is actually not two different or separate things It is the same thing viewed from different perspectives

Thank you for this… not many people are talking about this subject and it is SO important to us women who are affected by it. I wish there were a lot more research into this issue! Not only are we only scratching the surface with our understanding of how autism intersects with female-ness, but this specific subset of women get almost no attention at all within the research! Thank you for your work and please keep spreading the word!

When i was young my brother always did this to me. Later in life my x whife knew how to do it. It got me in trouble with police and killed my mental health. Only now do i realise its a thing. I told therapists about this but they never told me it was a thing.

Thank you again so much for putting into words what I’ve struggled with for a long time.

Thank you for this. Could you provide the link to the article you cite?

I don't have a sweat problem. But I clicked on this episode because I thought it might talk about body temperature. All my life I have been too hot. Pretty much only in winter with the heat turned down and right before bed do I feel cool the rest of the time I am too hot. I can remember as a small child and even in my teens crying because I was too hot. Diagnosed with autism at age 54.

I've had depression and anxiety all my life and people always just said mean things like: "Cheer up," "Happiness is a choice," "Just get over it," etc. CBT doesn't work because I've been "looking at the bright side" of things as a survival tactic all my life. There are legitimate reasons why I FEEL the way way I do. It's not related to "negative thinking." It's related to a negative life - not being able to fit in before I knew I was autistic and under and unemployment causing poverty being the main things, and no one caring what I was going through ever... Stuff one can't change with "thinking positively." My life has improved a lot due to channels like yours online. 😃

The broad autism phenotype (BAP) is a collection of autistic traits that fall short of a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). You might say that a person with BAP is actually on a separate autistic spectrum that isn't nearly as severe as the regular autistic spectrum.

Alcohol is a deadly poison! Use cannabis instead, please. Medical cannabis also treats autism because autistic people suffer from an endocannabinoid deficiency. THC derived from hemp and cannabis will help replenish the endocannabinoid deficiency. Psilocybin mushrooms improve interoception, and LSD improves exteroception. I personally use medical cannabis and LSD gummies to treat my autism. I used to drink alcohol but I'll never do it again. Psychedelics and cannabis are much better than alcohol.

Great information thank-you. This should be shared widely. An autistic person will likely have not had the exposure to or experience with confident free flowing communication. May not have systems of understanding and organizing all that sensory information. Imagine that for a second. When then exposed, only catching a word here and there that makes sense. By the time an idea comes and the urge to share hits it may no longer be appropriate to a conversation that has moved on. Also there idea may be disordered - beginning with the end or jumping to conclusions that to you seem unrelated but to them based on their insight feels so real. It’s all valid. Each experiment unique. We should all be more patient and attuned in conversation. #pauseforward #lifeisart ⚡️❤️💜💙⚡️

Very interesting subject

In other words: mask and don’t inconvenience the neurotypicals

My undiagnosed autistic father [I now recognize], taught me "coping" [survival] skills from the time I was a young child. Somehow that got me through life, though all while still gritting my teeth, feeling exhausted, the whole way. Not only that, but I endured an 18 year marriage to someone with untreated ADHD, not knowing I also had ADHD AND autism. In spite of my own ADHD, my autistic traits allowed me to manage our bills, choose our insurance plan, etc. and I got through nursing school with no mentors, no help, no self-esteem! On the surface, I looked like I managed my life pretty well [which made it harder to diagnose me]. No kids, I didn't figure out my ADHD until perimenopause, and my autism [via a You Tube algorithm] at age 65. [Both were, since, officially diagnosed]. I heard a very high statistic that women like me, with '"AuDHD", generally die between 35 and 58 years of age, with the most common cause of death being suicide [also increased risk of death from accidents, falls, etc.]. I get it. Growing up, secretly having suicidal ideations all your life for fear of not being able to financially "make it" [and seeing that possibility come ever closer, the more I aged, as it became harder to stay emotionally regulated in highly stimulating, stressful, and often abusive environments]....I'm not sure how I finally made it to here, where I can finally step away from all that, living off a small IRA savings, until I could get my full social security. If I had only known/understood what I really had been up against my whole life, while receiving some kind (?) of support, like job training for something more appropriate or, perhaps, mentoring for some sort of entrepreneurship....I don't know! I never found CBT very helpful. Often times, I found my thoughts WERE realistic [when it came to work stuff] and it frustrated me. However, I do find a lot of concepts from DBT and ACT to be helpful. These online teachings and groups have been invaluable, especially given we live in a world where you can't obtain adequate assessment/treatment unless you are wealthy enough to pay a lot of $. Managing to live alone, since my divorce, has also been invaluable, as it allows me a lot of down time. But even that couldn't make up for consequential burnout from the work environments I put myself in, with all my sensitivities. It damn near killed me.

This burden should not land on the Neurodivergent employee. But nobody else wants to deal with uncomfortable situations so the victim gets stuck self-advocating. I had my holiday work party this weekend and it’s abundantly clear that the cool kids do not want to play with an Autistic person. To that I say thank you for the compliment because if being accepted by you means that I have to be like you, I’d rather be by myself and know that I try to be a good person. Fortunately I don’t have to work directly with these jackasses.

The term mind blindness is a negative and puts the blame on autistic people. What is really going on is a double empathy problem. Autistic people don't understand neurotypical people, but the converse is also true. Neurotypical people don't understand autistic people. Studies show that autistic people do understand other autistic people. However, autistic people are disadvantaged in life because they are a small minority group.

Psychedelics can help with this. Psilocybin mushrooms improve interoception, and LSD improves exteroception. Watching fractal videos will help, too, if you're not able to use psychedelics.

Oh god i somehow subconsciously have always avoided conflict till now. I am kind of good at it lol But i wish romantic relationships did not have all these complex social rules. I have never asked out anyone even through i am friends with many women and i think they showed interest. I don't know maybe it's my RSD that's preventing me.

THIS is one of the "Safe Places." Thank you.

Let's just cut to the chase here, dogs are better people than people, hands down. They have no mask, they have no deceit, they are direct and honest about what they want and they don't hold back affection and appreciation. Animals in general are far better company than 94% of humans. Just sayin'.

6 years ago, and exactly after and because my father narcissistically discarding me was the reason I learned about narcissism and him being one. Ever since I have devoured dozens of books, articles, webcasts, podcasts, etc. about narcissism. Narcissistic Discard is not the same as Ghosting. Ghosting is just disappearing. Cold shoulder is one of many stonewalling tactics. Narcissistic Discard is a much more destructive and direct assault specifically designed to destroy. Narcissistic Discard plays on top of two narcissistic behavior pillars, the main one being the narcissist is never to be blamed for anything as they (believe) are "perfect", so the main tactic is the narcissist twists the "Discard" being your fault. But to qualify as being a Discard, and not any other garden variety manipulation as, say "blame shifting", "gaslighting", "triangulation", "deflection", etc. comes the second pillar, being that the narcissist will ask an impossible task or trait out of you in exchange for their approval or love. And since well, that request is precisely designed to be absurd and/or impossible, their response will always be: "well, since you cannot meet my 'very rational' demands , you are not worthy of my love. It is YOUR fault I cannot love you. Please go away and never come back until you fulfill my demand." Of course they will try and mask their impossible, absurd demand as a 'very rational, doable, etc.', but the point is, even if you manage to achieve it, they will come up with another one, because the point is not the test itself, but you proving yourself incapable of being worthy of their love. And yeah, it is not uncommon that they may hoover back, as if nothing had happened, just gaslighting you all over again, like: "No, I never said that, you are exaggerating all over again." In my case, when that happened exactly a year later, early 2019, my heart panic-attacked-PTSD'd my A*s off. In the midst of that, I saw beyond his tactics, and politely declined his invitation. I never saw him again. He passed away a year ago. It was all rough to say the least, but I don't regret my self-health decision. I am now devouring content regarding neurodivergence and autism, as I just learned a few weeks ago I am, in fact, neurodivergent . So yeah, that chapter of my life was very rough and 12 years too-long. But that part of the story is for another day: #OdysseyThroughHell.

I wouldn't have survived my childhood without pets!

My experience is autistics are the ones constantly blameshifting. I found this video trying to search how to deal with it.

@raclette4775 How did you overcome anhedonia? or are you a bot too?

Some people interpret "Why" questions as disrespect. Sometimes asking questions can get an autistic adult fired due to the person they're asking assuming they're "arguing" or trying to undermine what they've been told to do. They don't realize that the only reason the autistic person is asking questions is to get useful info, because (I found out only recently) sometimes NT's ask questions to convey disrespect. (That's very strange and silly in my opinion, but...) Perhaps some suggestions on how to approach asking questions in a way that seems non threatening to a "higher up" would be helpful? I remember even my mom getting angry when I asked "why" about anything. She doesn't now that I'm older though.

The pressure to be emotionally perfect and maintain composure at all times... I relate to this so much. As an adult, when I have a public meltdown or shutdown, it makes me feel really vulnerable and it's personally embarrassing

Thank you.

Thank you for putting real and helpful education about autism online!!!

i hate people without autism. they should be banned from puplic places and speaking in general

Many of us with autism have grown up in an environment of invalidation. We have questions and thoughts we want to convey and most neurotypicals are reading from an entirely different playbook. In adult life, we still want to be heard, we want to be understood and yes, there is anxiety when talking. We know when people are uninterested in what we have to say and we still try to get a point across even when we're not well received. In all fairness, what fascinates me is of little interest to most neurotypicals and most neurotypicals bore me to tears.

I'm excellent at seeing patterns and systems, but if someone's lying to me, I usually can't tell. I never assumed people were out to get me. Quite the opposite. I don't see a lot of the social cues others would notice. I always assumed people who seemed nice WERE nice. As a result, I've been lied to, cheated, and taken advantage of so much during my life, that after a major bad event, I've finally made a conscious decision to not trust strangers, and wait for months until i trust new friends. The world is scary when you're blind to social cues. I'm happiest at home.