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i finally believe i found what my issue is (audhd, though i seem to have some symptoms of bpd and schizophrenia and ocd and anxiety and depression) to explain whats going on with myself. though ive wondered if what i experience is real emotion or more of an understanding of the mechanism of it, the signs and shows, how it manifests. most of my life it seems like ive felt depersonalization. probably from suppressing stimming behavior at a young age, and if im trans i was probably doing other things i was told i shouldn't at a young age. it seems while at some times im super good at masking,other situations im either dense and unaware, or too anxious to care. most emotion ive felt in this existence has been frustration, the feeling of wanting to crawl out of my skin and just get away from the suffering somehow. maybe because i suppressed and disconnected so much, it caused me to lose most emption over the years. i still would have moments here or there where i would cry or have what felt like proper emotions. rarely its like maybe go a year and on one hand count the times i felt enough for me to feel "human" lots of times ive tried to listen to the most depressing music i could to try to feel. though i remember as a kid when my mom would feel upset or hurt id try to hug and comfort her. so i think thats something i guess... recently ive been changing up my life a lot since 2024s summer and actually pushed myself to the point of being burnt out and more dysfunctional than normal. BUT ive actually felt emotions way more consistently. BUUUT it also seems like borderline psychosis because i dont think its normal to be in the grocery store alternating between feeling like laughing and crying, or both at once. so either its like i opened the floodgates of years of suppression and its a bit shocking or maybe im a little nutters now. thats ok heh. it might just be my true personality even... since this huge shift started happening around the time i got that dress id been eyeballing for a while, and was borderline on the edge of dropping out of everything... then pushing myself so much, because i had to try being productive and fight my anxiety and fears. so it all supports burnout and audhd, i get so overstimulated way easier and cant mask as easy. actually it seems like i can have WAYYY EASIER of a time socializing if i let myself be moved by a certain part of myself that im not sure if its my real self or an alter of some kind thats been popping up to cope with me pushing myself so much. i know osdd 1b can cause alters without amnesia. and ive noticed i can function better and get past mental freeze/blankness if i adopt, like,a character of sorts. its like i can improv a brand new character and run with it sometimes easier than i can have a normal freeeeeekin conversation or interaction. theres a lot of variables in all of that. i really have a lot of confusion surrounding emotion and empathy. i dont think emotion and empathy are something that are currently properly understood. ive wondered if im an empath, partly from strange psychic/telepathic moments and feeling horrible after doing things like lose my temper in arguments and say mean things. but how do i know i actually felt bad. maybe my parents just taught me certain things and i was convinced i felt bad and was playing a part, just an act that i wasnt aware i was involved in? i dont see how anything proves i really do or dont... at some points its felt like i understand the mechanics of people's minds and personalities, and so easily able to predict exatcly whats going on. to the point where i questioned how normal it is. like, what if that understanding isnt based on empathy and instead what ppl would call narcissism or aspd... but i feel like empathy and those 2 things have to have some kind of connection thats been neglected,considering how society teaches us to think in a way thats very divisive in many ways.

I realize that this video is supposed to be serious, but I just wanted to say that your hair is SO GORGEOUS!!!!! it's fluffy and pretty Ave the white streaks are super fun!

My wife has a lot of empathy (she has Audhd) and she finds the people creepy who emphasize they are "empaths". I experienced similar things. If people write in their profile etc they are empaths than it's mostly about themself. The people with the most empathy live like that and don't have to name it. In my opinion 😌

Boy…can I ever relate to this, Kaylee!

Somehow after this video I started to feel better :з

Empaths = unaware NPD and BPD. They mislabeled their own pain that's unconsciously projected on others by their minds. Of course we think it's empathy and that we have more. It hurts like hell and the mind confused us to believe it's other people's pain.

I've been called Heyoka ( I think I spelled it right) empath. I don't think I have more empathy than someone else, I just feel it differently, more intense. As in I can't be in a crowd very long in that I can get overwhelmed by all the different emotions of others hitting me all at once. Like I said, different. And as far as not being redeemable, everyone is redeemable. Everyone can change.

I don’t really identify as an empath, I just know I either am crying because a friggin bug is dead on the sidewalk, or I’m stomping on anthills left and right. I don’t know, I just always was good with caring about everything because I feel like everything has emotions so I learn facial expressions and mannerisms as much as my brain can hold. But then I just get worn out from caring so much that I start to question myself and lose all empathy for people, it’s hard to manage.

You are very beautiful 😍

I have heard people who say they are empaths but In my opinion are far from it. I don't think anyone truly knows if they have more than the next person . I have autism and with me empathy is something I have trouble reacting to. Not that I don't have any it's just very awkward and not wanted.

As someone who has been tested and told I'm an infj two different times six years apart, I don't know that I have more empathy than other people and I do sometimes have to be mindful in the moment because of my own triggers. I have my own moments because of my own trauma and my own child abuse passed where I have to be very mindful of my own coping mechanisms that are narcissistic to be quite honest. Not that I necessarily need criteria for a diagnosis but they are very self-serving because they had to be when I was growing up. A lot of people in my experience who claim to be empathic are not.

It will never cease to amaze me how people come into your comments to declare you the worst type of person completely ignoring the fact that you've had more therapy than they have and they only want to judge you because of your diagnosis completely ignoring their lack of diagnosis and lack of therapy. I love how open you are and I love that you're so vulnerable which also escapes them. Keep doing you 💞

Find a new home in yourself was beautifuly said 🥹

For me, being an empath wasn't really being more empathetic. On a subconscious level, I would pick up on the feelings of others and feel that. It made me much more emotional and not as nice to people around me because i was getting a lot of emotions that I didn't know where they were coming from. I believe empathy comes with understanding and kindness, and I did not get those things as an empath, just the feelings.

I identify as an empath because of how sensitive I am to the emotions of others, I don't think I have more empathy than others I just grew up in a not so safe home so I developed this habit of I guess reading emotions of others as a self defense method because of how it defined how the day would go based on the emotions of the household, but I don't think anyone should be saying they have more empathy than others, I'm just a traumatized individual lol everyone has empathy and nobody should be using it to make others feel like "less" we all have worth no matter what we have as far as like BPD, anxiety disorders, depression, sensitivity, etc.

i dont trust 99% of people claiming to be empaths because of this. plus it hurts. sharing it around just gives target and ammo to hurt them. a real empath would be more careful where they broadcast it.

I hear alot of ppl saying " i feel what others feel" Im in tune with other ppl around me... Heres a question.... When you were a kid did you do kind things before you had parents that caused you trauma. Like rescue animals, Defend protect friends from bullying or other ppl, Protect your siblings from getting disciplined and stepnin to handle the situation sonthey would not get hurt. Think about what true ....good acks you have done that concider you a empath? Just because you are hurt and sensitive to ur environment and the people around you doesn't mean your a empath, you have learn to be on guard to protect urself so u take note of other ppls emotionals for your own protection, and as an adult you dont want to hurt others so you behave considerately around them with your energy you out out. But what donyou do tongo out of your way to help others?? Been a true empath i think would mean you do a number of things all the time to help others, and have done a number of acks of kindness, going out of your way to do good acks for others, and remember being that way since a kid. Just because you are sensitive to other ppls energies or emotions doesn't mean ur a empath, you have to have a deep moral side of you that pushes you to do good things for others and help others. Its not about self preservation at all! Empathic ppl sometimes put them selves around unkind hurtfull ppl in order to help them knowing they are putting other persons needs above their own. A saying i heard once. IF YOU THINK YOUR HUMBLE OR A EMPATH, TRY HELPING SOMEONE WHO HAS HURT YOU OR BETRAYED YOU AND YOU KNOW WILL DO IT AGAIN... BUT YOU STILL CHOOSE TO HELP THEM BECAUSE ITS IN YOUR NATURE TO HELP OTHERS EVEN WHEN THEY DONT DESERVE IT.

Peace

How can you be pretty and a narcissist?

Not sure if you see this or not but honestly many thanks for what you are doing enlightening mankind about this disorder which has been spiraled out of control since the raising of the social media and of course living with family members and being around these kind of people doesn’t make it easier For someone who comes from this particular disorder I appreciate you and grateful to you and what you are doing God bless you always

I dont think its the lack or not of empathy. A majority of people who claim to be empaths say its because they feel more empathy than others, but thats not what an empath is. Those people often pick and choose who recieves empathy. The definition of empathy is understanding a persons feelings because you have experienced what they are going through, contrary to sympathy where you "understand" because they explained the situation. Being a strong "empath" or a real "empath" in general isnt pick and choose like most people, its walking in their shoes, their emotions, and feeling what they feel even if you havent experienced their situation before. Thats how i realized i was an empath. I dont believe I have more empathy than others, in fact i believe that i lack it due to trauma that has nade me cut off most emotions and have a very cynical, pessimistic view of the world, however that does not interfere with my empathy because it does not interfere, for the most part, with my ability to feel and understand what others are going through. To me personally, thats what a true empath is. It isnt a lack or heightened sense of empathy, its the ability to pause and think, let yourself wander into another persons mind and understand what they are going through and *feel*. And to those who claim to be empaths who parade your comments with negativity are not true empaths because if they were they would see and understand that even you and others have struggled. You are a beautiful amazing person and this video really made me think and i enjoyed the questions you asked and the way you phrased it to explain your view of it. Keep up the amazing work. 💙

Lmaooooooooooooo

My mom is BPD I am starting to believe I am too. Married, 1 kid 3 pets and it’s just too much to be honest. I feel too misunderstood

I adore your videos and your views on psychology and your experiences. My mother and friends have called me an empath for years because of how overly emotional I tend to be and good god I hate the term. From the research I have done, all it really means is that due to trauma, you never learn to separate other people's feelings from your own so you make them your own. Nothing more than a lack of full emotional development. Not a superpower, not a compliment.

I think self described empaths centring themselves when others are suffering is related to the concept of white women’s tears, so there may be writing on that topic that improves your understanding. I remember thinking “I think this is the internal justification for white women’s tears” when reading a book by Brene Brown that touched on vulnerability, so that may be a useful source.

I think, similar to when someone has to keep telling people “they’re a nice guy”, they probably aren’t. It’s the same with empaths. I consider myself an empath, because I feel other people’s emotions very deeply as if they were my own. I don’t really talk about it. There have been times where I’ve witnessed people in distress and everyone around me acts as if it’s not important in the slightest, but my heart is breaking for that person, like their distress was my own. I’ve also had times where my emotions suddenly become overwhelmingly in a direction that makes no sense: for example one time I felt insanely angry out of nowhere, and I couldn’t figure out why. I turned around and saw that someone quietly entered the classroom behind me and was seething with anger. They left the room and my feeling of anger completely disappeared with them. It was bizarre. There is some science behind it from what I’ve heard and read. I believe I saw once that people like me have high levels of mirror neurons or something? It’s a real thing. But I think, again, if you have to keep telling people something “noble” about yourself to everyone non-stop it’s probably not true. That doesn’t mean the concept of empaths is all fake or toxic though. In the same way I don’t think the concept of people with low empathy to be inherently bad or toxic.

First, I would like to state that I do not think empathy makes me better than anyone else and it certainly doesn't help me in social situations. I am autistic and I have a couple of alters so not all of us have very much empathy at all but me personally, I know I am an empath because I feel other people's emotions involuntarily to the point where I struggle to distinguish them from my own. I have speculated why and I think it might be from having to erase my own emotions while around my parents and completely adapt to theirs, but like you said its not a scientific label and in the end its just another descriptor I use to describe myself. I first started thinking of myself this way when I was talking to a friend about working on learning to put up a wall to disinguish ither people's emotions from my own. It is an internal boundry I have made for my own safety. It allows me to know what others are feeling and use that information without getting overwhelmed by it. It took me a while to get to that point and there are times where I still feel overwhelmed. I guess where I'm getting to on this rant is that being an empath does not set you above anyone and I mean anyone. For me, it means that I have to work hard in order to feel my own emotions and not get drowned by other people's needs. I don't generally tell people I'm an empath because the term has become a bit of a joke but that is how I knew and how I think of it. Thank you for the question

I know

Search "Dr. Orloff empathy test" For me, it's an energy signal I pick up like an antenna. A heart resonance, not a label from the mind. I am very selective of people and places because if you feel worse, it's the environment. The world is desensitized as a coping mechanism and human conditioning

I don't personally call myself an empath anymore, at this point I consider it mostly a survival mechanism of being very very observant and aware when someone goes through an emotional shift. Most of my folks call me emotionally intelligent or highly empathetic - I might be. I might also just be observant. I will say however, is that, and while I can't generalize, I have not had good experiences with people who call themselves empaths. In my experience, both inwards and outwards, it seems like those people have a lot of repressed trauma and emotions that they're not dealing with. The assumptions thing is spot on.

I didn’t know I was an empath until ppl around me started telling me I was. To me I just considered myself hypersensitive. And I was quite annoyed at myself. But I also think a lot of “empaths” choose where the empathy goes. I am criticized constantly bc I can always see the good in anyone. Drug addicts, criminals, I am always searching for a reason, a way to understand. I have never hated anyone. Not even the man who beat me, SA me, and put me in a hospital. I wanted to hate but it’s not in me. I feel bad thinking of what might have turned him into this Btw you are beautiful! And I love your raw honesty. And no one can judge you. ❤

Ive been called an empath for helping out bird and baby bunnies.... i thought thats just what you do to help out those in need

I personally don’t call myself an empath, but I do relate to them. You make a good point, and I do not agree with the people who use it as a way to prove they are somehow better, that’s a load of bullshit. For me, and how I perceive it, it’s that I can physically feel the emotions of people around me in ways that others don’t seem to, and they get confused when I try to explain it. I spend a lot more energy and time on other people’s emotions than my own. For me it’s not a bragging right, it’s a different experience and way of reacting to other’s emotions. But also, these things could be related to my neurodivergency. Perhaps I have the idea of empath wrong

I don't say I'm an empath a lot. With me, I can feel the emotions from other's. I don't like saying I'm an empath because of the people saying that they "are". Just because you're diagnosed with narcissism, doesn't mean you're a terrible person. With you being diagnosed, that means you're on a path on making yourself better. Screw tiose who tell you you're dog shit. You seem really chill and nice

I don’t trust anyone who says they are an empath, because it usually means they want to project their feelings onto others and then listen to no one.

I believe it is sometimes virtue signalling and condescension like implicitly saying "I'm better than you, cause I have more empathy than you." No mind has direct access to the external world much less another mind, but only indirectly through the senses, and empathy is an internal feeling part of the mind.

Hi empath here. So I don't know about others but for me. Its like I can feel other peoples emotions how they feel. If I focus on it I can kinda tell why. Thats why I think people say we have more empathy then others because we can feel we they feel. I feel more negative feeling then others. My mom says its because I don’t hold on to those feeling but have felt them so the jar they go in feels deeper. I don't feel rage though I have angry problems so everyone else's anger doesn't affect me.

Empathy is not a label. I agree with you. If they had true empathy they would not say those things to you.. Ppl who show real empathy don't talk about it, Because ppl who are truly empathetic would be embarrassed to tell ppl things like, There was a little bug in the shower and I rescued it from drowning or I use to make sure I would not step on ants while walking or Or tell ppl there cat was attacking a lizard and U tried to put the lizard out of its suffering while my cat ripping it to shreds so I tried to decapitate the lizard while balling my eyes out. These weird ways of been empathetic at times is not something ppl would go around talking about. Because just as much as someone can be empathetic that same person can also feel deep anger towards others who hurt them and is capable of switching of the empathy. So they know they aren't a perfect empath.. Those so called EMPATH ppl are full of crap!

I dont think empathy comes naturally. Its something that comes with working on self awareness.

And it's never clearly defined either, it's always described as being a spiritual experience or a horrible experience entirely out of one's control.

I’m not an empath but this is a smart question and it made me think about something I hadn’t thought about before so thank you for that💗

Also I want to be in your basement lol 🖤💗

I'm honestly pretty skeptical of people who call themselves an empath. Also, I don't think it's consistent. I see people who at times have immense levels of an almost intuitive empathy in a given situation act really callously in others. I suspect like most things, it's a spectrum, often circumstantial, conatins a cross spectrum of variables. Sometimes I think people who are just generally more emotionally reactive assume they are "empaths."

I honestly have no idea, I don’t like calling myself an empath. And I simply don’t. I don’t even know what falls under the scope of being an empath. All I know is I have always been a highly emotional person. It had been pointed out to me since I first became aware of myself and my surroundings. And I don’t exactly view it as a positive thing? Because being empathetic means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. And that means experiencing other people’s incredibly negative emotions. I honestly believe my “Empathy.” Stems from trauma. From being unable to separate my emotions from unstable parental figures. At the end of the day I don’t think it really matters, in the sense that you don’t need to have empathy, to show compassion. There is simple logic of others feeling pain and not liking pain yourself. So why would you do that to somebody else. Being able to humble yourself enough to not put your interests first over everyone else’s wellbeing’s. People who are empathetic, can use that empathy/understanding of others emotions, to their advantage. People with and without capacity to feel certain emotions all have the capacity to choose to do wrong. Ego, or just because I can, or it is more convenient if I just do this wrong action than if I don’t. Like I said empathy isn’t needed to show compassion. I have had people who aren’t as emotional as me, and don’t get my situation at all, be able to show me more compassion than said “empathetic.” and “normal.” people. By just realizing that what matters is that I care about certain things that cause little up to major inconveniences in my life. I am not above anybody for being able to feel empathy. And I believe that I can’t possibly feel empathy for everything and everyone. Because as big as an imagination I have, I have NOT experienced everything any given person I meet has experienced. But that is just me and my personal beliefs concerning this matter.

I don't think we have more empathy than others. Empaths like to make it entirely spiritual, when in reality, we're just hyper sensitive to criticism and grew up in a situation where we had to predict the emotions of our caregivers, who usually made their emotions their children's responsibility. We arent more empathetic, we just have less boundaries between self and other.

I have never met a person with a high level of empathy who would ever talk about it. For them it's just normal and natural. My mom for example might even almost cry when telling story about some stranger who had something bad happen to them. My granny will be so happy when someone is happy and when it's because of her she is all glowing with joy. My friend will give older man gift for Grandpas Day cause he doesn't have grandchildren and she will be touched and happy that someone was pleased. These people just act, they don't talk about that stuff, they don't look in terms of empathy, they do what they can to make the world a better place. I don't believe people who say out loud I AM AN EMPATH 😅

When we spend most our time to feel people emotions before ours

I don't know, i feel bad for more people than my friends and try sometimes to help them with small things that I can do but usually can't do that great. I can point them in a direction of more help but sometimes my advice is rejected since I'm so scary. Most criminals think I'm a cop, most cops think I'm a criminal. I just can't seem to win.

Puke

Oh no, 😲 not the basement. 😂😂😂