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Thank you very much! This helps a lot. The problem is I am in the perfectionistic trap created by my family and me and I don't know how to get out of it.

Let myself and Giouli know if you have any questions in the comments and we will be sure to answer them!🙏

What should you do if you've already been having conversations in this kind of way, but the other person is unwilling to do the same, continues to tell you that wanting to is dragging up the past, and does nothing themselves to repair things?

Hi Vassia. According to my knowledge of my self and tests I've taken at different times I was raised to be securely attached. My first test was in January this year with The Attachment Project and the second one was in August with an adult attachment style test that a therapist sent to me and my wife (who left me about 3 weeks ago by leaving me a letter, and leaving while I went to the shop. Since then she's forcing a no contact separation on us) who has taken those same tests with me at those same times. I tested securely attached both times and my wife tested as avoidant in January, and dismissive ambivalent in August. About a 8 or 9 days after she left, The Attachment Project sent me an offer to see if and how my attachment style may have changed since January. My comparison report shows now I'm still securely attached in general but in relationships I'm fearful avoidant/disorganized. I do know that I grew up in a western enmeshed family so I realize I had a fantasy playing out I wasn't fully conscious of until 3 days after she left me. My wife is from a Taiwanese enmeshed family. I'm doing lots of things right for myself but I'm concerned because I know I can't handle it as well as I need to because it's too much and I really shouldn't try to do it all myself. We were together for 10 years. I felt us connect like magnets when our eyes met for the first time 10 years ago. I knew that as it happened. Like Bluetooth devices pairing. I was spiritually awakened at the time. My wife, not so much. During our time together I kept developing in the ways I had been since before we met and she kept people pleasing. We met in a brothel. She had just started pleasing people to that extent. Why I was there I can't even fully understand. Not anymore. I don't think either of us have any reason to be ashamed for doing what we did. We committed to each other a couple of weeks later and of course this included her stopping being with other men which she happily agreed to and already knew. Until 3 months ago I couldn't trust her more. I could swear she would never even look at another many because she loves me so much and isn't like that. That's how I was and saw it in her too. 3 moths ago on a night before flying overseas for 5 weeks I confronted her about weather she really stayed faithful to me from the time we committed. She said no and over the next hour drip fed me the truth. She kept doing it for 6 months. I would drive her to the tram or train. My new faithful, loyal girlfriend (at the time) would kiss me goodbye and wish me a good day. Then go to the city to people please herself and others more than me. As I assume you can imagine by the end of that hour I was really traumatized. The next morning we had to put our discussion on hold so she could fly overseas. A lot more was revealed by drip feeding me over the next 6 weeks. We discussed some of it during that time by phone. She returned and we continued discussing it. By the time we could move past the confession stage my betrayal trauma was pretty extreme. How much I don't know..... I'll stop here for now. I'm exhausted from everything I've been doing to try to save us and now myself. If you want to know more, reach out me and I'll explain anything you might want to know. I don't really know what I need from you but I know I need somebody who understands and can help me. If you read this far I appreciate you and I'm grateful.

Do you struggle with your self confidence? Let me know if you have any questions that I can help you with!💚

Thanks!

Hi Vassia! This was a nice video! Quite informative! Your channel is severely underrated ❤

Do you have a loud inner critic? What's 1 thing that this video has inspired you to do to take a step towards quietening the inner critic?❤️‍🩹

Thank you so much. ❤

Thanks Vassia - I love the way you explain things so clearly and helpfully. For me, it's very hard to grow my new, more self-compassionate voice after many, many years. The inner critic is so much stronger when something goes wrong. And my faulty perception is convinced it has the true view. As you say....it takes time.

I'm struggling with this 😢

How has your sleep been lately? Sometimes we forget how helpful sleep is to us (and it's a free tool!)🙌

Nice😊👌💐जय श्री कृष्ण। 😊🎉thank you mam. ❤❤🎉😊👍💐

One can never achieve perfection. In regard to the fictional Borg in the Star Trek franchise, they assimilate different races to achieve “perfection” which can never be attained because they always want more. They are never satisfied! One galaxy is not enough, then they will move on to the next galaxy. Perfection is impossible.

I hate having disorganized attachment style.

I am divorced now and feel old and unattractive and do not expect to be in a relationship again, I do not find myself or people my age attractive, I can't help that. I fear my health will decline. Positive Affirmations like do it now! Does nothing to help, there is no joy in getting old and I don't have money to go jet setting. Enjoy being old? Wtf.

Which burnout sign have you recognised in yourself?

love your videos ❤

Stress Brain 🧠 FFFFFF Take the high road #5 FU

True story

Do you struggle with procrastination? Share your experience in the comments!

Thank you. I am so burned out being a solopreneur the past 2 decades. Perfectionsm has not been helpful to say the least 😂🙏

Do you struggle with overworking? Which tip was the most helpful for you and will you be implementing it in your life?

Do you struggle to enjoy your successes? I hope this video can help you and I'll be here in the comments to answer any questions too🙏

Definitely me, playing the husband (emotional level) of my mother...till last year she said in front my father "I should have married you" So uncomfortable thank God I had read about it in the past and could give it a place...

📍1 - Identifying you're scared is the first step, being able to acknowledge that it's hard for you when things don't go to plan. 📍2 - Letting go means being ok with what you've done and believing that's enough. It reminds you that you trust yourself. 📍3 - Trust yourself, you can handle whatever happens in the future and you will be prepared enough and get through it. 📍4 - Having resources to utilize when you're struggling like your family, friends, partner, environment or therapist. Knowing these is helpful to turn to when things get tough. Everything you need is within you already❤️

Were you a parentified child? Are you now a perfectionist? I hope this video helps, and leave your questions in the comments as I am here to help you!🤗

Yes! Truth! As a woman a a mother, and a teacher I can agree to this wholeheartedly!

I am 70years 6 months and I feel lot if pain in my relationship My wife's work is first priority and not our relationship I have tried many times to maintain our relationship but it becomes a rejection I was thinking in the same lines of joining senior citizens where I can attain some love and affection otherwise my next intention is divorce

My wife doesn't give a chance for discussion It's her way or not If not her way you out

every time it gets better it gets worse

Hello. I can't start my blog on RUclips because of perfectionsim. Can yo advise smth please

We can reverse negative core beliefs but it takes a lot of time and inner work. There are 2 ways we can begin to reverse and challenge our core beliefs: 📍Cognitive restructuring 👉Observe and restructure your thoughts by opening up your perspective and trying to see what's really true Vs what's a belief you tell yourself. 📍Looking for the source 👉Go deeper into your past and try to understand where your beliefs came from by exploring the people/situations that made you start to internalise your core beliefs. We all have core beliefs but the more negative ones can really harm us and cast a dark lense over our lives🥲 It IS possible to heal though❤️ Want to hear some examples? The full video is on my channel.

Could not feeling 'joy' be considered burnout? I feel like I have to force a smile sometimes even when my physical battery is full.