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For me, it was a state of delusion… believing lies about myself that I did not even know I was lying about! Absolutely sleeping dreaming I was awake. Very grateful 🙏💕☮️

I’ve always noticed that insecure attachment folks are obsessed with “sameness”. You have to like the same music, have the same interests, wear the same clothes. And it’s shallow stuff they want the same. Now I know that they lack “differentiation”. I actually like people that are different than myself. Because they can expand my perspective, my experiences, my ideas.

Thank you so much for your beautiful interpretation of step 10. I felt like I received a big hug for myself at the last slide. So grateful 💚

Thanks very much Berlin Circle and Judith.

10:00 the next couple of minutes are so interesting but there is no mention of this being a "pre-12 step" part of this lady's life until right at the end.... The claim is kina being made that "I did all the attachment stuff (and I did it all well)" but I don't see how that can be possible while suffering from active addiction. Active addiction is an assault on attachment, to others, to oneself, and to a higher power. I would have liked to have heard more about how all those dynamics work together, and that's one of the problems I suppose when we abandon the 12th tradition and start using professional identities in what should be an anonymous setting. I've brought up children, all within the 12 step recovery experience, with some years out of meetings as well, and over more than a decade I've learned that I've polluted the attachment throughout, because being sober and spiritually better and increasingly better doesn't eradicate one's own entrenched trauma responses to others. I've also found that attachment trumps discipline every single time when it comes to re-socialising my children. Yes I use consequences, but in all honesty, the initial poor behaviour is always a result of an attachment wound. I'm using consequences because I lack the personal AND social resources to constantly re-heal the attachment wound. And that's another thing that's really been avoided in this talk - we can't create a proper experience of attachment in such a damaged and alienating society, where the extended family has been wiped out for many people, and the majority of us are living in constant economic fear. And what about the genocide in Gaza too? What about the 100000 dead in Iraq? What about the entrenched racism of American society and European society? These are all massive assaults in our attachment to our own humanity. If they are accepted without questioning, without introspection and external analysis, we will tend to adopt punishment as a firm of control because it's being demonstrated by all of our msm and governments. So this ends up being a rather shallow and inadequate discussion between two forms of control, because ultimately it's rather more concerned with controlling unwelcome behaviour than it is in establishing a loving bond.

really enjoyed this presentation and bought her book immediately

I’m trying to learn how to effectively help my adult son. I love the parallels you draw with people who shop or eat too much. We can all examine ourselves and learn. IFS is for everyone. You give us more insight into how to work with FFs. Please continue.

It’s baffling how someone can actually become a doctor while another can’t get out of their own way. I was told how stupid I was so never believed I could pass in school so I never went. How someone at 21 goes to AA and gets clean and never relapses while I’m 60 and still struggling with addiction.

Love you Don Guy

Beautiful share thank you ❤

“ I didn’t know that I didn’t know.” That’s beautiful✨

Thank you🎁 Acceptance appears to be a state of mind in which the individual accepts, rather than rejects or resists: he is able to take things in, to go along with, to cooperate and be receptive. Dr Harry M. Tiebout Feb 22nd ODAAT

Bob is GOLD! His wisdom and irreverence is powered by a knowing deeper than words. So much respect for his enthusiasm and Light which shines all the brighter for his Self led journey through hell and back. IFS is enlightenment made accessible for all of us, wounded, burdened, broken but whole. It calls us back to our place of belonging with community, Nature and the sacred Universe.

For me its not like that i destroy my relationship because i want all the time sex and attentions and emotional connection from my partner. Am 34 year old girl struggeling with having a love/sex addiction am all the time chatting with man( am single) and if i meet someone who wants a serious relationship i travel even 4000 km to see them and spend all my money on flight tickets for someone i just chatted with 2 days. If someone has tips for me please share. Btw i never watch porn i dont have interest in that. I feel like the need for sex is because i really want to be pregnant.

Thank you Bob for re-enlivening the 12 steps for me through the IFS lens. This helps me tremendously since I am still searching for a spiritual connection. Thank you for sharing the poems especially the last one which touched me deeply. Thank you for your work! Maria

he´s indirectly referring to the primary narcissistic family system and the outside societal system, both can be very narcissistic. I broke off with the vicious circle of narcissism, addictions, verbal physical violence in my family and all members of my family even my former cousion turned against me saying it´s not as dramatic, it´s long time ago. It is, I´m a over 40-years-old women who keeps alternating from a toxic cycle to another from one abuse to the other and I still see the traumata and addiction impacts in my daily life and society, family are all cowards and unaware and disconnected from the inner truth. I revealed quite some toxic behaviours and new ones come up. Now finding myself in a depending position of recepient of sperm donation between ongoing sexual pressure and societal rejection, shame who call women like me out claiming I´m selfish, not good for that, that I should accept my destiny of never getting any child as if I didn´t already had to bury the dream of not having a family with a man who respects me and wants a family. All summits I went on, they were talking about the societal trauma as the aftermath-trauma. I did lots of years in 12 steps but I could just partly break my habits, as I become aware of one addiction and sliped in the next one. I guess the only solution, thats what I most liked, is the connection with the self/higher power/ spirit, it must come from the inside out as bottomlines and talks didn´t last forever with me. I also regard the nature as the higher power, I can only speak to my parts outdoors and I was wondering why.

Thank You ❤

I find this very interesting. I am always open to newer recovery paths in that I am a recovery specialist. I believe emotional sobriety is key and truly love ACA/ACOA...I AM an ACA and later BECAME an alcoholic. Big contrast there. I am addicted to food lust anxiety.I think IFS and ACA are very similar...I believe it's my duty to enlighten and expose patients to the many different paths of recovery.

Thank You ❤

Thank you for the post! ♥️ Friendly Berlin!!!

I am surprised there are no comments to this clip. Lisa is onto something. Spirituality is a much overlooked Reality.

This is brilliant work!! I'm a clinical nurse consultant in mental health originally from New Zealand and now working in Australia. The recommendation of providing information to consumers of 12 step programs and dispelling the myths is excellent and something I will happily start to do moving forward. Thank you!!

The down-to-earth Fairy Godmother I didn't know I needed -- validating my instincts to stay grounded in authentically living in Steps 10, 11, & 12 ... while ensuring I don't put clawmarks into other emotionally disregulated toddlers trapped in adult bodies, in my enthusiasm to "help" them, instead of just myself, ha! God bless you, Cheryl❤

How do I attend emotional sobriety meetings

Thank you, Dr. Duggan. Brilliant. I am a recovering alcoholic (10 years and 4 months in recovery) and a mother to my only child, who is a drug addict, whom I am now trying to not enable anymore. Thank you again.

Thank you so much❤. God bless you. This is incredibly life changing

Damn

These are great insights but it seems like a lot of self-reliance is being taught and not much god dependence

weird jokes. Inappropriate for the audience, long, and not particularly funny. I thought maybe you were setting up to make a point but nope, just bad jokes

Beautiful Thank you 🙏

I sometimes find that IFS is a bit dogmatic about its approach to the internal system. So it was nice to hear some highlights, insights and points that I can use in a way that fits me. IFS has gifted me a connection between my Self and some of my parts. This is hands down the most important healing tool I've ever encountered. Thank you!

❤

Catch up soon on this beautiful symbiosis ❤🙏🏽

It would be nice if IFS would be accepted the mental health system and not the pyramid system of multilevel marketing being used. Therapist get a degree and tell clients only God can help them. Where is this taught in psychology? It's not. Its the AA theologians that have taken over mental health and killing innocent adults who are unhealed victims of childhood trauma. And the therapist blames the client for not "surrendering to God".

Very helpful info as I learn about the IFS model. Thank you!

Really helpful, thanks!

Great metaphor -- mental health (and, what we used to call mental hygiene decades ago) being similar to the funciton of the digestive system.

Dr. Berger, on what absurd premise would or could you think to say in a video presentation about wellness, that most of the condo apartments on Wilshire Blvd. are owned by Jews? Or what her religion could possibly have to do with the wife in your story going to Las Vegas with her friends. Surely you know that as a speaker on psychological wellness with a substantial following you have left a very serious impression on viewership particularly at time when there is so much hate and anti semitism. What could possibly possess you to demonstrate such bad judgement. I've lost respect for your positions on everything else now.

Excellent! If this resonates with you as it does me, you'd also love Thomas Merton's book of meditative essays, No Man Is an Island. I discovered it as a result of a quote from it being included in an official Al-Anon daily reader.

"Freedom from the bondage of self" - Big Book

Sounds like Al-Anon.

Suggestion; Please tone down the “background” music 🎶 Thank you! 😊

Keep it simple

Thank you for the terrific video. Great information.

cannot concentrate music is so distracting

im new here, emotional sobriety, insights 1-12, going to check these out, thank you! 🙏💜🕯💧🌱🐾👣🌿🌎🕊

Highly beneficial. Thank you.

The self would be the social engagement ventral vagal vagus / parasympathetic in somatic experiencing.