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I live in Germany and I’m always being criticized for being able to keep calm and grounded in myself in extreme and in not so extreme circumstances .. I guess I make them feel uncomfortable in not making a complete freak show over .. let’s say getting a 40€ parking fine, but instead just paying it and putting it aside and move on

Ugh how do I have this passivity yet I’m also very impulsive.

Your way of speaking and presenting is quite translucent and brings peace. Thank you for your work

There is so much I can say but all I keep thinking is wow!!! Those first years of life can quite literally make or break you and send you in a trajectory in life that is either great or full of challenges and difficulties. I don’t take being a parent lightly. It is truly heartbreaking sometimes

relatable

How's that passive? It's active avoidance of self.

Never looked at therapy with this perspective! Very interesting! I think one thing that I learned and I still forget is that change will not happen in a short time ( at least for me) change will start the moment you start therapy or journaling but it takes way longer than you expect. I’ve had even given up after 10 therapy sessions only to see the change happen 6 month after the last therapy session. It’s like you brain and body needs a processing time for the new information and the key is to notice and reward the tiny bits of change even if it’s still very far from your end goal and stay consistent with your goal even if it seems you’re going backwards or it’s getting worse. If you self-criticize and judge the process like me, staying compassionate and patient can really speed up the process actually. This comment is actually a note myself :)

Thank you Liv for this video! I love how you narrow it down and also how you explain how to calm the nervous system down and what it means to really listen. I want to practice to listen more in my close realtionsships. At work it's easier. 😁🥰🙏

The entire video was like a grounding process. Being present and the trust that comes with being present, I take for my further path. Thank you!

Change is complicated, but not that much after hearing what you said. Thank you. 🥹

Too true! Once you peel back the layers, the profundity of simple things is incredible ❤️ Never heard someone put it so well into words before!

very helpful video. Change always brings a lot of fear of losing yourself - the version of yourself that is known, familiar. Thank you for normalizing these internal struggles that everyone has to go through to develop, work on themselves and really change, evolve.

I resonated with what you shared in this video. Such a great reminder of how inner work is a crucial part of any change we want.

such a fundamental and important insight. I also found I just couldn’t change, as much as I wanted to, until I worked on feeling safe in my body

One who doesn't know her own self And one who has never known love Knows nothing of freedom

Thank you Liv!

A word an embrace or a kiss heals most things

I self sabotage because I fear being successful. I fear judgement and the jealousy that may, and has come my way for being good. I feel like I have taken off my selfness as if it was a dangerous garment. Inside I have so many dreams and ambitions. I know deep down inside I could be successful with anything my heart truly wishes to engage in. Not because I’m egotistical but because I believe every soul that bears life on earth has overflowing pools of unique brilliance to share. Instead, up until now, I have (unknowingly) chosen to punish myself for simply being me. I have punished myself by procrastinating to deliberately fail myself, by avoiding challenging tasks that reap rewards of personal success and achievement and by isolating myself for extended periods of time. Thank you for your video, I was aware of these behaviours already but by accepting your video as an invitation to sit back and just be with these feelings, I feel like I have found some greater insight or that I have at least increased my awareness. I can’t help but feel that awareness will be the key to liberation. Observing these thoughts with object-awareness and complete lack of judgement, I realise that they are not me and that I can let go now. For that I feel overwhelmingly grateful to be able to observe. I know I would be the first person to encourage anyone I knew or saw, punishing themselves in the same way as I do, to treat themselves with love, kindness and compassion and I must learn to do the same for myself. For anyone reading this that feels anything remotely similar or relates to self sabotage in any one of the ways that Liv Raissi invites us to reflect upon, I hope you find freedom. I hope when the time is right that you find peace in relaxing and releasing to inundated ways of being and that you find liberation in learning that you don’t have to take your selflessness off like a dangerous garment, you can wear it with confidence and shine like the beacon of light that the universe is just begging to be expressed as and, along the way, help those who are suffering with their own ordeals. In a world and digital ecosystem so saturated with self help and unsolicited advice, I feel hesitant to share this. In fact, this is the first serious comment I have ever left on the internet. But this video has a such an essence of authenticity that it only feels right to share my only-human humility in the hope that someone, sometime, somewhere may blossom from this. I hope that will be you. Thank you for having the courage to share this with the world Liv Raissi! Lewis

I say You're the first step

I've cried my eyes out while watching the fisrt half of the video. This video is very helpful and healing! Thank you ❤

Thank you, that was very helpful for me - especially because of the focus on relationships.

Love isn't to posses control abuse or own Love is to nurture comfort heal and grow🌸

It is pretty much about reprogramming the body by doing opposite of what your body tells you to do. Ask yourself: 1. Do I truly want more love and connection in my life? 2. Am I willing to face all the feelings I fear around love and connection in order to get it? 3. Then: Commit yourself to face your fears, aka do the opposite of what is more comfortable/familiar to you.

I'm more honest than most I'm willing

I know I need help but I'm unable to ask. I fear and anticipate all abandoning me turning their back on me as soon as I tell them about my past and background. They run a mile away from me when told Doctors Psychologist and Psychiatrist Anyway my apologies just thinking aloud

Truth here…how can I change the thought associations?

Ok, I feel like adding some stuff here, to kind of help me think. I've watched a lot of JOrdan Peterson lectures lately, and watching your video made me think of one of the ideas he expresses. And it occurs to me now that this is an idea you've expressed as well in supervision with me. It's that, on a fundamental level, human beings perceive the world in stories. We don't perceive it as separate objects. We don't see an object, we see an action, what it can be used for, how it's useful to me etc - THEN we infer object. But the action/embodiment part comes first. So it's: action/story/embodied/acted out - then conceptualization/image in our mind - then verbal articulation. When you took the example of a person bringing experiences of rejection or not fitting in, to a real world encounter with a group, it made me think of this idea that we're prewired to see actions and stories. So the person might not neutrally perceive "a group of individuals", but only perceive what they're acting out as it relates to us. So, you don't see a group of individuals, you see rejection embodied. I don't know if this made sense. Cheers

Passion overrules much of those things

Hey there! It's good to get to continue to have you as a teacher even long after the CORE training is over :) So thank you for these videos. This one a really good basic reminder about what defense mechanisms are. A timely reminder for me.

Bless this sinner with a wife likened unto her

Perfectly made imperfect & altogether lovely

Swedish Psychologist comforter healer

Thank you Liv, for an interesting presentation! A question I ponder about: Yes, it sounds like a very good thing to get to know your inner fears, but HOW do I do that? I mean...the sort of fears you describe they can really cause a person a lot of trouble and lay in the way for a good life and strong relations. But these "patterns" and fears are rarely things we're aware of. On the contrary, I believe that most often we work quite hard NOT to see these fears that are causing us so much harm. I guess the abvious answer to my question is "Go see a therapist" 🙂 but if I ask What can I do by myself, to search for my fears? Or, in case I'd like to help my partner to become aware of her fears- How could I do that?

In this video I answer a question from a listener: "I would like to know how to deepen my relationship with myself in order to enter into more conscious relationships with others. What are the most important questions I can ask myself to get to know myself even better?" How would you answer this question? Please comment below 🥰

Thank you very much for your answer. I feel grateful for the questions and examples :) And I also feel very personally treated. I will go through these questions in a meeting with myself. Thank you for your empathy.🥰🌿

Defense mechanisms are an important tool of our unconscious. Our friend that keeps us safe. But do we always need it, or is it just an overzealous friend who should sometimes let go? Learn more about the mechanisms that guide our behavior in everyday life: 👉 ruclips.net/video/op9oQYskZ0I/видео.html

This is such an incredible explanation. You’ve used such and beautiful and powerful imagery. I’m so thankful that I’ve stumbled across your channel this evening. ♥️♥️♥️

Thank you for sharing your wisdom 😊

❤❤

OH, yes-the positive internalisation within ourselves.

I love that you referred to screaming as primitive. Accurate.

yes! I struggle with this

Thank you for this introduction. Perhaps a link to further resources you consider to be trustworthy could be helpful for people looking for more info? A question that comes to my mind: Suppose I’d wish to do a therapeutic psychedelic journey with a “professional” sitter who I’ve only met in a few sessions to prepare and, in order to feel more secure and calm, would like to bring a close, trusted and initiated friend as an additional sitter during the trip. Generally speaking-Would that be a good idea and if not, why?

So why assume this "open" mode is any better than the default one?

And to deal with ptsd!!

🙌

This was really nice to see, Liv. I'm very excited to follow your channel. Congratulations! I've recently found the conflicts between individuals and broader societal structures or cultural norms particularly interesting. It could be an insightful topic to add to discussions on conflict and therapy. It would be wonderful to see you explore and delve deeper into this area. Nadine, (Counseling therapist, Foundational training in psychotherapy)

Miller Steven Lee Lisa Jones Lisa